S16.E04: Week 4

[Bluesky]

That was soooooo dragged out.  I fast forwarded a lot through those two dimwitted idiots Clare and dale.  They have one thing in common, they are both incredibly dull.   

[Mswldflwr]

36 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Not that I remember. Winter Games didn't have any Neil Lane interaction. I think Benoit just proposed on his own. Maybe someone else remembers better. BIP has always been about hooking up. Winter Games was, well, a bunch of winter games. Which is maybe why it only lasted one season.

As I recall, she ditched Benoit at the Winter Games and he left.  But then he made contact with her either  -- I can't be absolutely positive if she made contact with him back home or they decided at the reunion to give it a go.  But there was no engagement as part of Winter Games.

 

[Wandering Snark]

I think comments have covered most the Dale/Clare ridiculousness so I'll leave that alone, but ahh yes many a storied romance has started from sharing hitch hiking broke dads.

I can't believe Clare 'broke up with the guys' and then asked for reassuring hugs. Sorry bitch you just dumped us WE are not required to also help you through how horrible it was for you.

I totally was waiting for CH to start playing a flute and have Tayshia rise up from inside the wicker basket jeanie style. How disappointing.

The one guy who said 'what if I'm not attracted to her?' was addressing, to me, the elephant in the room here. What if he meant, more specifically, 'What if she's... not white?'

Edited November 6, 2020 by Wandering Snark

[rebel2u]

Stop being so thirsty, Clare.  It's not a good look for you.

[Back Atcha]

1 hour ago, Callaphera said:

(and yet Straitjacket Jay's white high tops with his suit pants were the most tragic part of this episode. WTF, dude?). 

I thought we were going to hear, "Someone stole my shoes."   Response, "Didn't Dale say he wears the same size?"

2 hours ago, DEL901 said:

No real discussion about what Dale wants.  He is so screwed.  He walks away, he’s a jerk. He proposes, he’s just going along for the ride.  No win for him.  

If they (and their agents) are smart, they'll play along with the "engagement" so they don't look like the dumfux they are.   Let's make them sweat for four months...and then they can go their merry ways.

[gingerandcloves]

1 hour ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I’m sorry , no way Dale doesn’t find Clare even a little scary . I’d 100 % sleep with one eye open . 

Right? This feel like Colton and Cassie all over again to me, except worse because Dale was forced into proposing to her. Any bets that he'll have a restraining order against her in a few months?

[Back Atcha]

2 hours ago, dizzyd said:

I’ll give it to her, she rocks her wardrobe. 

I've been thinking about that wardrobe...and all the pretty gowns and outfits* designers probably GAVE to the show for the exposure--that were never on the air?   It was disrespectful to drop the beautiful RED gown on the floor in a bunch to give us the impression they were just SO HOT TO TROT.  *Never saw a bachelorette in so many pairs of shorts.  Shorts, shorts, shorts for every occasion.

2 hours ago, CraftyHazel said:

And on a shallow note, his ears are weird, and she smiles with her tongue between her teeth.

And how many times do we have to hear her posed/breathy, "Yeah," because she can't think of anything else to say?  How soon will she tire of his, "Like, like, like...likey, like"??

[Madding crowd]

I have second hand embarrassment watching this show now. I keep thinking of these poor guys, crowded in a small room with nothing to do but talk to each other. I’ve always liked Clare but she is so rude and oblivious to these guys.

I wish her the best but there is no way to know if a guy you just met with work out long term. This show is boring without the dates and I used to like guessing who would be sent home. 

[RealHousewife]

Clare has classic good looks and a banging body, and I'm with her as far as not settling. But she is coming off pretty desperate. It doesn't matter how good-looking someone is, that Charlotte York please love me, I need to get married asap thing is never cute. I wish her all the best, but I agree that the thirst is too much. 

[call me ishmael]

I have to admit that I don’t have a perfect recollection of everything Clare has done on her 50 appearances but Benoit didn’t leave her standing alone.  What is this whole narrative?

[HerkyJerky]

Tayshia has to have the whitest teeth EVER in this franchise (and that's saying a lot!)

[Arkay]

Clare and Dale sound like two strangers making insane small talk, interspersed with sex. "This is so crazy!" "Wow, who would believe this?" And also getting-to-know you talk--"what are your parents' names?" Who really gets engaged the day after first finding out the names of the parents? Guys, you do not know each other. There are levels of conversation that come between "hello" and "will you marry me?" You've bypassed them all. Clare is in her own world and Dale appears stricken. I would think that maybe he's a people-pleaser who is In shock and doesn't know how to get out of it, but a people-pleaser wouldn't be so shady to all the other guys. 

[Sessa]

Well I don’t mind saying that I hope it works out between them. I have to say I’m a little baffled why anyone would actively root against it. Now do I think it will work out? Probably not. Am I annoyed by how much crying she does? Absolutely. Plus, I feel like she could turn on a dime if he does anything to piss her off.  But hey, stranger things have happened. This is 2020 after all. And honestly I have to say I was not particularly impressed by the group of guys. Dale is definitely the one I found most attractive.

[nickp1991]

I really hope things work out between Dale & Clare

[Suzysite]

6 hours ago, Back Atcha said:

Never saw a bachelorette in so many pairs of shorts.  Shorts, shorts, shorts for every occasion.

 

To be fair, I heard it was over 100 degrees during filming there, so I'd be in shorts, too.  Or in the pool.

 

7 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

The one guy who said 'what if I'm not attracted to her?' was addressing, to me, the elephant in the room here. What if he meant, more specifically, 'What if she's... not white?'

I didn't think he meant that.   He probably figured they were scraping the bottom of the barrel to get anyone in there so fast.   He'll be pleasantly surprised.   Although I'm curious how Tayshia was able to be there at all.  Was she also in quarantine for 2 weeks?  Was this planned?  

 

[LakeGal]

We were laughing and expecting Chris Harrison to bring out a shotgun.  He was acting like Clare's father.  Telling Dale that he had defiled his daughter and now must marry the girl.  The scared look on Dale's face when Chris told him that Clare expected a proposal.  It was funny.

[TheFinalRose]

7 minutes ago, Suzysite said:

Although I'm curious how Tayshia was able to be there at all.  Was she also in quarantine for 2 weeks?  Was this planned?  

Inquiring minds want to know. I'm on the fence about whether this was planned by production or not. For one, Chris Harrison just cannot abide a normal season of this show anymore. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's Harrison who is encouraging all these dramatic shenanigans because he's aging and needs to keep this job going, so he pushes the "we've never had this happen before" antics every single season now. Those producers are in the lead's ear all the time encouraging them to jump the fence or cancel every cocktail party or blow up the show. We need an explanation of how, in the middle of a pandemic, they had a fresh Bachelorette wiped down and ready to go. Maybe she didn't do a full quarantine but they tested her and she was negative and all the cast/crew had to sign a waiver releasing ABC from responsibility. But two, on the other hand, Clare was actually crazy and laser-focused on Dale and you could see the whole show going right into the trash bin early on. 

On a similar note, never realized how thirsty Deanna was to get back on the show. She would have had to leave her kids and quarantine for two weeks just to appear for the four minutes of screen time smelling Dale's shorts last week. Mother of the year, there.  

As for our fairy tale twu-love story, Dale had this deer-in-the-headlights look that is typical of a contestant who hasn't yet learned not to look right into the blaring lights from the set. But when he opens his mouth and speaks, he seems all in. Weird. What I want to know is what is with the proliferation of stories on this show about parents who met once and married three weeks later and were married for 42 years? That doesn't mean that they didn't regret that rash decision sometime during the ensuing marriage. But if you have two willing parties raised on that kind of romantic, hitchhiking kind of display of love, then that is the petri dish in which we grow a Dale and a Clare who are destined to meet and repeat the whole process. 

What I think is really more interesting is if we could hear some stories about some young 'uns who fell in love but were never able to live that perfect fairy tale life together because the poor guy was murdered as he hitchhiked his way to her.  

So we get a Clare and Dale version of After the Final Rose next week. That tells me that ABC wants the happy ending on the sofa visual but isn't sure that there will still be a Clare and Dale by the time scheduled programming ends in December.  

[Route66]

Obviously this perspective is based on editing, what the public sees, and what we believe to be true.

I think Clare is a narcissist. I think Dale's major appeal for her was having lost his mother and writing about how it affected him. Losing a parent, especially at a young age can have an irreversible affect on one's psyche. It's not unusual for it to result in an outsized fear of being abandoned. I think as a narcissist, Clare's number one requirement for a partner is that he never leave. It's frankly weird that she goes on and on about her certainty that Dale will never leave, despite the fact they've gone through absolutely nothing together. There's zero empirical proof that he will stick by her; they have endured nothing together. She has no proof of how he'd deal with any difficulties. I think she intentionally chose a man whose background would bring about a fear of abandonment.

 

 

[JudyObscure]

7 hours ago, Back Atcha said:

And how many times do we have to hear her posed/breathy, "Yeah," because she can't think of anything else to say?

I hate that, it sounds so affected.

6 minutes ago, TheFinalRose said:

As for our fairy tale twu-love story, Dale had this deer-in-the-headlights look that is typical of a contestant who hasn't yet learned not to look right into the blaring lights from the set. But when he opens his mouth and speaks, he seems all in.

Very weird.  While she's gushing on and on with her face literally glowing, his face will be as dead and blank as someone thinking about needing to buy more socks.  Then suddenly he's smiling a big ear to ear grin.  I think they must have spliced in expressions from earlier when the guys said they were getting pizza or something.

When I was a little girl I had a playhouse with a stick man "husband" I had made in my fathers shop, just standing up in the corner all the time.  I tease my husband about how useless I thought he was. Dale reminds me of him.

I think this "I researched person X on social media" gives a false sense of knowing someone that's worse than not knowing them at all.  Maybe if you researched him on the police sites, it would be worth something, but most people's social media sites are made up of a lot of flattering photo shopped pictures, quotes from famous people and pictures of that one thanksgiving when they volunteered for an hour at the soup kitchen.  It wont tell you how the guy acts when he's angry, how well he listens when you're angry, how many babies he's fathered, how much time he spends with his bros, how much time he spends on porn, how quick he is to quit a job, or what kind of mess he leaves in the bathroom. 

Clare's had enough relationship failures to know that some of these things are more important that whether their fathers both hitch hiked to see their mothers.

[bosawks]

I knew a guy that when I was talking to him I was pretty sure I could see his thought rattling around in his head like the last penny in a piggy bank.

Dale has that same expression.

[DEL901]

Clare was clearly all-in for Dale before they ever met.  She fell for his social media.  Admittedly he’s nice looking with a hot bod, and his social  media features his charitable activities... but Clare still needs to slow it down.  They don’t really know each other yet. 
 

And those insta love stories that lasted for 40+ years.... I’ll wager for every success there are dozens of failures.   Yes it can happen, but Clare didn’t even really fall for Dale, she fell for social media Dale.   At least the couples they talked about spent time with each other without preconceived notions about the other before declaring their love. 
 

eta. Snap, JudyObscure

53 minutes ago, LakeGal said:

We were laughing and expecting Chris Harrison to bring out a shotgun.  He was acting like Clare's father.  Telling Dale that he had defiled his daughter and now must marry the girl.  The scared look on Dale's face when Chris told him that Clare expected a proposal.  It was funny.

Worse...he showed up with Neil Lane, or a virtual version thereof.  

Edited November 6, 2020 by DEL901

[Route66]

5 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Clare was clearly all-in for Dale before they ever met.  She fell for his social media.  Admittedly he’s nice looking with a hot bod, and his social  media features his charitable activities... but Clare still needs to slow it down.  They don’t really know each other yet. 
 

And those insta love stories that lasted for 40+ years.... I’ll wager for every success there are dozens of failures.   Yes it can happen, but Clare didn’t even really fall for Dale, she fell for social media Dale.   At least the couples they talked about spent time with each other without preconceived notions about the other before declaring their love. 
 

eta. Snap, JudyObscure

Right. You hear about the ones that lasted. You rarely hear anyone recount how they "knew immediately he was the one" and wound up being wrong. 

[OnTime]

I found the Benoit proposal and she did get a big ass Neil Lane ring!!!

 

 

 

[Jax7917]

I’m also fairly certain if Dale wasn’t there , Clare would have latched on to a different guy . She would have never lasted in this process because she’s so obsessed with the “ when you know you know “ narrative . 
I’m happy to say that when I met my now husband , I didn’t know instantly because I - wait for it - wanted to get to know his personality and everything about him before I claimed him as the one I’ll be with forever . Clare is fixated on having an amazing when you know you know love story rather than who the person is . 

[Jax7917]

9 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

 

The one guy who said 'what if I'm not attracted to her?' was addressing, to me, the elephant in the room here. What if he meant, more specifically, 'What if she's... not white?'

I say this respectfully , but comments like these Is the reason our world is so divided . In no way ,shape or form did he insinuate he might not want her if she’s not white . All he said was “ what if I’m not attracted to her ?” 
They knew who they were getting physically with Clare . Mentally , not so much but they knew what she looked like going into this . It’s like going into any blind date now because they have no idea what the girl looks like . Unlike Tayshia, or whoever the bachelorette would be , the guys don’t have dozens to choose from so if they’re not attracted to the bachelorette , that’s all they’re getting . 

[alexa]

52 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

I hate that, it sounds so affected.

Very weird.  While she's gushing on and on with her face literally glowing, his face will be as dead and blank as someone thinking about needing to buy more socks.  Then suddenly he's smiling a big ear to ear grin.  I think they must have spliced in expressions from earlier when the guys said they were getting pizza or something.

When I was a little girl I had a playhouse with a stick man "husband" I had made in my fathers shop, just standing up in the corner all the time.  I tease my husband about how useless I thought he was. Dale reminds me of him.

I think this "I researched person X on social media" gives a false sense of knowing someone that's worse than not knowing them at all.  Maybe if you researched him on the police sites, it would be worth something, but most people's social media sites are made up of a lot of flattering photo shopped pictures, quotes from famous people and pictures of that one thanksgiving when they volunteered for an hour at the soup kitchen.  It wont tell you how the guy acts when he's angry, how well he listens when you're angry, how many babies he's fathered, how much time he spends with his bros, how much time he spends on porn, how quick he is to quit a job, or what kind of mess he leaves in the bathroom. 

Clare's had enough relationship failures to know that some of these things are more important that whether their fathers both hitch hiked to see their mothers.

Totally agree--meeting someone on insta is not really meeting them.  And the fact that she fell for him just based on that says so much about the issue.  Plus everything should not be about your dad, it should be about finding the right relationship for you--but not based on finding your father in your husband.

[Stan39]

54 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I say this respectfully , but comments like these Is the reason our world is so divided . In no way ,shape or form did he insinuate he might not want her if she’s not white . All he said was “ what if I’m not attracted to her ?” 
They knew who they were getting physically with Clare . Mentally , not so much but they knew what she looked like going into this . It’s like going into any blind date now because they have no idea what the girl looks like . Unlike Tayshia, or whoever the bachelorette would be , the guys don’t have dozens to choose from so if they’re not attracted to the bachelorette , that’s all they’re getting . 

Agree. And here’s a crazy thought, if he’s not attracted to her... just leave 🤷‍♂️

[waving feather]

44 minutes ago, alexa said:

Plus everything should not be about your dad, it should be about finding the right relationship for you--but not based on finding your father in your husband.

I think people who obsess about finding someone like their mom or dad do a disservice to themselves and their partners. Let's do the damn thing Becca was obssessed with it too and one of the big reasons why she chose her F1. He fishes and hunts like her dad, etc. But look where it got her.

[alexa]

1 hour ago, waving feather said:

I think people who obsess about finding someone like their mom or dad do a disservice to themselves and their partners. Let's do the damn thing Becca was obssessed with it too and one of the big reasons why she chose her F1. He fishes and hunts like her dad, etc. But look where it got her.

I think this is where it might be better to have the more obvious imperfect father?  lol!  I mean, I loved my dad, but I wanted to marry someone completely different from him 🙂  I think when people idolize their parents, they also aren't very realistic.  We are all human, and I doubt that person is ever as perfect as they make them be.  And if they are, the spouse will never live up to it.  Dale will get tired of hearing about dad... 

[barshi50]

Ok. Enough about Clare and Dale.

What I want to know is... who's feeding and walking her dogs while she's slobbering all over Dale?

Did someone sneak in while they were in bed and take care of them? They did show the dogs sleeping on the sofa...

[saber5055]

12 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

The one guy who said 'what if I'm not attracted to her?' was addressing, to me, the elephant in the room here. What if he meant, more specifically, 'What if she's... not white?'

Maybe that's what he meant, but I didn't hear it that way. I heard it as "What if she's dog meat, can I leave after I see her?" Sort of like that season where Brit and someone else were voted on for B-ette, and when Brit lost, some guys bailed. (Obviously, I can't remember the name of the winner of that vote, who went on to have the whole season to herself.)

The show sure spent a lot of time on the bearded bach last night, I think it's the guy from Canada. Wonder if he's being set up for villain ... or lead interest.

I don't remember Tayisha at all, so I thought she must be from Peter's season, the only season I couldn't bear to watch. But I guess she's from Fence-Jumping Colton's. Didn't make an impression, but then that whole season was blocked from my brain as soon as it ended. Maybe even before it ended. I'll give her a chance since some of those guys are nice eye candy. But already the previews are "Oh, what if they don't like me, wah wah." Geesh. Rinse and repeat. Maybe Yousef needs to come back.

[Alexander Pope]

15 hours ago, DEL901 said:

Wow.  She is projecting her feelings on him.  

there is a fine line between narcissism and empathy and Claire is a fantastic example of that. Every personal confession is about her mirroring it/feeling it herself.   Even when she was "breaking up" with the guys, she ended every sentence with "for me."  "This has been really hard for me."  Seriously???  extend them some actual sympathy!

[saber5055]

24 minutes ago, barshi50 said:

What I want to know is... who's feeding and walking her dogs while she's slobbering all over Dale?

All I could think of was, I hope someone is picking up all the poops they're leaving all over that resort. I imagine some PA has been assigned that job. It also went briefly through my mind, where were the dogs when "fiance stuff" was going on. Because dogs love to sleep on the bed with their person. And check out anything that's going on there.

[After7Only]

6 hours ago, Sessa said:

 And honestly I have to say I was not particularly impressed by the group of guys. Dale is definitely the one I found most attractive.

Based on the clip at the end showing Claire/Dale 4 days into their relationship, I am now sad that the viewing audience has been robbed of additional athletic and shirtless Dale scenes.  

[Lamb18]

Quote from my last post in the The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart thread:

Anyhow, now when Bachelor/Bachelorette get back to filming, this franchise has a stable of singers they can call on to give those special performances on dates where the couple are the only people there at a dinner table but not eating.

Nailed it! It was nice to see Chris and Bri again, and they sounded better than the usual singers they have.

Well I hope Claire and Dale are happy. I felt for him when he spoke about his mother. I and my family are going through a similar situation, except my mother is still alive, but has been critical in the Intensive Care Unit. Funny how they had similar stories about their dads hitchhiking to see their future wives. 

[rebel2u]

4 hours ago, OnTime said:

I found the Benoit proposal and she did get a big ass Neil Lane ring!!!

As excited as Clare was about the ring this season, and as much as she couldn't take her eyes off it, I'm pretty sure she went to bed the night of the proposal crooning to her ring as she clutched it tight to her chest, "We'll never be parted again. We'll always be together."  lol.

Edited November 6, 2020 by rebel2u

[Wandering Snark]

I can't seem to get a quote to work but re: my message about the guys said 'what if", not that I thought for sure he was hiding something. I was simply making the observation that these guys came knowing that Clare was a pretty white blonde and maybe when the switch to Tayshia happened they will find that, though lovely, they aren't really down with interracial dating. Not everyone is especially when it comes to a possible wife, not just a few dates to see how it goes. That's all.

[Lamb18]

31 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

All I could think of was, I hope someone is picking up all the poops they're leaving all over that resort. I imagine some PA has been assigned that job. It also went briefly through my mind, where were the dogs when "fiance stuff" was going on. Because dogs love to sleep on the bed with their person. And check out anything that's going on there.

The little dog was hiding behind a pillow on the sofa. Did you see him peeking over the edge?

[leighdear]

5 hours ago, Suzysite said:

 Although I'm curious how Tayshia was able to be there at all.  Was she also in quarantine for 2 weeks?  Was this planned?  

Well, this was filmed in July & August while California still had the 14 day quarantine requirements. 

And how else could they possibly get Tayshia there just in the nick of time to take over the SAME day?  

Seriously, anybody that thinks anything other than the reactions of the leftover guys was spontaneous needs to read up on the history of the franchise.  They script everything and not a single frame of film is left unedited.  

It's amazing that to this day, some people still think this is live TV.  

[Alexander Pope]

48 minutes ago, rebel2u said:

As excited as Clare was about the ring this season, and as much as she couldn't take her eyes off it, I'm pretty sure she went to bed the night of the proposal crooning to her ring as she clutched it tight to her chest, "We'll never be parted again. We'll always be together."  lol.

My Precious!!!

[rebel2u]

4 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

My Precious!!!

Oh, I laughed-cried over this one!

[ranchgirl]

4 hours ago, OnTime said:

I found the Benoit proposal and she did get a big ass Neil Lane ring!!!

 

 

 

Thank you for finding this and bringing it here.  Claire even had the same narrative this time around.  I remember when Deanna was visiting with Claire and she was telling Claire how it felt to meet "the one" and Claire acted like she had never had that experience.   I'm glad she captured Dale and is gone.  

[TiredMe]

1 hour ago, After7Only said:

Based on the clip at the end showing Claire/Dale 4 days into their relationship, I am now sad that the viewing audience has been robbed of additional athletic and shirtless Dale scenes.  

Saunter on over to his Instagram. Lots of shirtless exercising Dale. lol

[luvbadtv]

1 hour ago, Wandering Snark said:

I can't seem to get a quote to work but re: my message about the guys said 'what if", not that I thought for sure he was hiding something. I was simply making the observation that these guys came knowing that Clare was a pretty white blonde and maybe when the switch to Tayshia happened they will find that, though lovely, they aren't really down with interracial dating. Not everyone is especially when it comes to a possible wife, not just a few dates to see how it goes. That's all.

The pool of guys looking for a possible wife is probably pretty low, so I don't think many will care.

[tinkerbell]

16 hours ago, DEL901 said:

To be fair, she also checked him out on social media and fell for him before the actually met.   They’ve actually been in a relationship for weeks, except Dale didn’t know it.  

Oh yeah!   Just like me and Brad Pitt. We've been in a relatinship for decades, and I"m not sure he knows about it either. 

[TVMovieBuff]

7 hours ago, nickp1991 said:

I really hope things work out between Dale & Clare

I do too, despite how she rushed this. I kind of feel sorry for Clare. She is too beautiful a woman to get this desperate over a guy. 

I don't like that the show forced a proposal. I don't find it necessary. Clare & Dale could have just left and said now we go on and have a fabulous love affair that everyone hopes turns into a marriage.

Dala really does have tiny ears! Clare's are bigger than his!

[tinkerbell]

5 hours ago, DEL901 said:

And those insta love stories that lasted for 40+ years.... I’ll wager for every success there are dozens of failures.   Yes it can happen, but Clare didn’t even really fall for Dale, she fell for social media Dale.   At least the couples they talked about spent time with each other without preconceived notions about the other before declaring their love. 

Yes, I personally know of a few couples who had the "love at fist sight"  thing happen.  And now their kids are with them every other weekend and alternate holidays. 

[greeneyedscorpio]

Just watched the Benoit proposal and had one thought:  Ashley I has the biggest mouth I've ever seen on a human. 

Edited November 6, 2020 by greeneyedscorpio

[tinkerbell]

The thing about the "instant reaction"  and love at first sight with Clare and Dale is that Clare has had a number of "love at first sight"  experiences on the Bachelor shows -( who knows how  many she's had outside of TV ?)  that you think she would learn that the instant connection that you feel is a crush, lust, fantasy, and doesn't necessarily translate to a life together.  

SHe had it with Juan Pablo - with Benoit - and I know a few others (anyone who can name them becomes Bachelor trivia champion!)  To me, the mature thing would be for her to understand that she's had these feelings before, and to make a conscious decision to put Dale on hold while she gets to know the other guys.  BUt Clare will always opt for the impulsive over the mature and thoughful. 

[OnTime]

How many total hours does everyone think Clare spent alone with Dale before the proposal?

Don't count him being in the room with other people waiting for a rose!