Out of respect for my friend @Trey, I honor her request for the return of Jokey Jokey Thursday. Because it's Thursday AGAIN, gang. How does that happen every week?
First, to comment on @suebee1212's toad joke, last week I was sitting in the kitchen and a toad the size of a man's fist hopped across the floor. WTH! I caught it in a bucket, and that's when I learned toads have hands with fingers so they can jump up and grasp the top edge of any container they are in. I shook it back down and took it outside to live beyond my back-yard fence. This one is not a joke!
I also have a frog that lives in my back yard. I ran over it once with the mower, and thank goodness it lived to hop away with all legs intact. The next time I mowed, it hopped out of the yard when I started the mower. Conclusion: Frogs are not stupid. Again: Not a joke. So it's safe to keep reading if you dare.
I read in the Media thread the comments about Cheech Marin. I do know smoking pot causes short-term memory loss. Next thing you know, they’ll say smoking pot causes short-term memory loss.
I’m not saying it’s bad here on Earth right now, but NASA is reporting that aliens flying by our planet are locking their doors.
I had lunch at an outside restaurant last weekend. Two Karens were at the next table. The waiter stopped by and asked them, “Is anything okay?”
Because of this Coronavirus, I’ve been washing my hands so much, this morning I found the answers to an old eight-grade math quiz. If I had five dollars for every math test I failed, I’d have 37 dollars.
I told my doctor I am having trouble hearing. He said, “Well, can you describe the symptoms.” I said, “Sure, Bart’s a wise guy, Marge has blue hair, Homer’s kinda chubby ...”
Woman says, “Doctor, for eight months now my husband thinks he’s a lawnmower.” Doctor says, “Why didn’t you bring him in sooner?” Lady says, “Well, the neighbor just returned him this morning.”
Woman says, “Doctor, my husband thinks he’s a chicken.” Doctor says, “Why didn’t you bring him in sooner?” She says, “Well, we needed the eggs.”
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression. I said, “Sure.” So he shouts, “NOT THE CRYPTONITE!” I said, “That’s Superman.” And he said, “Thanks, I’ve been practicing.”
Now send the kids away or shield their eyes so you don't have to explain these PG-14-rated jokes.
Broccoli says, “Hey, look at me, I’m a tree!” The mushroom says, “Wow, I look just like an umbrella!” The banana says, “Let’s talk about sports.”
Young guy at the pharmacy buying his first pack of condoms. Pharmacist says, “That’ll be 10 dollars and 35 cents including tax.” The guy says, “Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves.”
And finally this one, which is guaranteed to make every 12-year-old boy laugh:
Do you know what a dinosaur fart is called? A blast from the past.
That's all folks. Heading back into hibernation now ...