JenE4

While she was berating him over not being rilly ril, she said, I want to have ril conversations and know the ril you, like do you like mac and cheese or spaghetti? She was so emphatic that this was a soul-bearing question, and yet, he didn’t even answer it and just went back to saying i don’t know what you want me to say. She wants you to tell her what’s your favorite carb. But look at those abs! This man’s probably on a keto diet and didn’t want to tell her the truth.

Hannah is 24. She’s acting 24. There’s a reason why the lead isn’t usually this young! No offense to any of our younger members. I think most of us are 30s-40s+ but I bet most of us have been there, haven’t we? Falling for the smooth-talking bad boy who’s nothing but red flags but doles out just enough of the “good stuff” to keep us hanging on and believing if I just love him hard enough and if he just loves me enough, he’ll become that glimmer of the man that we think he could be with the help of my love. I think this is pretty “normal” early 20s emotional maturity—or lack thereof. She’ll get her heart broken by Luke and it will be a learning moment that helps her redefine what she needs in a relationship. Unfortunately for her, she has all of these amazing guys here that she just might alienate and miss out on in the process. Truly, this is one of the highest-caliber groups we’ve had in a long time! There are SEVERAL men in finance! Not even a SINGLE fitness trainer or athletic reject. Most of these men are intelligent, handsome, sweet, interesting, emotionally available, but OF COURSE the 24-year-old is going to zero-in on the walking red flag with puppy dog eyes and washboard abs.

I can’t give you this rose...until the rose ceremony.

Hannah wants the deep talk: Mac and cheese or spaghetti? Soul bearing!

I feel like Luke is getting a one-man 2:1 date: The Actual Asshole Luke vs the Pretend Sensitive Luke. He’s going to be left to die alone on this cliffside. Hannah, not a good match if you need a team of producers to explain what you mean by “how do I feel.”

Yeah, what is in that “fresh Scottish air”? Even though it’s Mike Meyers’ British character and not his Scottish character, all I could think of was Austen Powers: Do I make you feel randy?

I totally missed all that. I think I was too distracted checking out Mike’s arms in that tight turtleneck that everyone was making fun of to notice the decor.

I loved that dramatic reading of The Elusive Monster: The Luke Ness Monster! That’s some Paradise-level content right there.

I don’t really have much to say about Mike’s date, but I feel that I must acknowledge him, as he was my favorite at the beginning. I still really like him...I just don’t think he’s the right guy for Hannah. He needs someone a bit more mature.

I honestly think she’s never heard of it because she kept saying “haggots,” like “maggots”...which isn’t any better.

Mike forced her into a Bachelor Handshake. That’s a new one.

If Hannah did end up getting beheaded, then that truly would be the Most Dramatic Season Ever. I totally missed the rose ceremony and Luke leaving. What did he say?

Ooh! I thought the Lukes were getting called into Principal Harrison’s office.

Wait. What? He is?!? Dreams really do come true...

You make a good point. He went along with the “evil masterminds” Tatum, Carlos, and Roseanna, but I can’t recall him actively doing anything underhanded to anyone like the three of them. Ok, in that case, I’ve come around. Yay for Bobby Ray!