JenE4

I feel like with this show you never really know what you’re going to get—maybe a present-day/flashback with one character, maybe an all-Jack flashback, maybe a two-character ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future—or maybe even an entire show with people we don’t even know. But I thought this setup right here was most effective with the Big Three (and with related secondary characters) having over-arching storylines that show how their pasts impacted who they are today, with related storylines. I don’t know how we “vote” for this, but writers, as you’re shuffling up timelines and storylines, consider sticking with this methodology more often. I liked how it gave character development and also equal-billing to the main 3. Storylines that spend an hour focusing on one person make me just sick of that person by the end of the show, but I actually liked everyone this episode! (Also, special shout-out to college-aged Randall and Beth who did something with their mouth/voice and hands, respectively, that was just the pure embodiment of their adult counterparts.)

What the hell happened to Mark (not Marky Mark) Wahlberg in just a few short months?! Those new chompers he got are unfortunate. Damn. USA network must have a cheap-ass dental plan. Nothing else too noteworthy yet but funny how all the contestants were mocking the temptors and temptresses of the opposite sex during the introductions, but then immediately crumpled into tears and regret when separated.

Re the comments about the sales ladies being unprofessional and Luisa being bitchy, too, etc: This is Noah’s perspective, so it doesn’t mean they actually acted this way. Case in point, Cole is divorcing Luisa and leaving the state with her step-daughter, so she certainly has “just cause” for acting gruff and upset. If Noah thinks she’s acting that way to or because of him, then that’s on him. Any person with any empathy would recognize that Luisa must be heartbroken right now. But Noah Fucking Solloway needs to make it all about him—and even tries to insert himself into the goodbye that Luisa needs to have with Cole and Joanie. Noah Fucking Solloway also hears $17k and decides it’s his own Pretty Woman moment. I also don’t buy that Whitney would show up for her wedding weekend(?) with nothing planned, but long-suffering Noah Fucking Solloway needs to paint himself the hero, swooping in to save the day.

The best part of the episode was Ben’s deadpan response to Joanie’s “I’m going to cut your dick off and watch you bleed out”: “That is one option.” But if “Gabrielle” is stupid enough to sign Joanie Lockhart-(whatever) on the contract, then she deserved to be hornswoggled. Brilliant undercover work there, Sherlock. I disagree with the comments that the show is “faking” a #metoo storyline. Noah Fucking Solloway imagined every woman ever throwing herself at him (example, girl at the diner giving him “fuck me eyes” until he realized she was really hitting on Sasha), so of course his recollection is Eden hitting on him. So I wouldn’t bat an eye for a second with her memory feeling pressured or that her job was on the line. But in the year 2019, it’s *wrong* for any boss to be sleeping with a subordinate, so I can see the “media industry” (both as this show and fictionally within this show) wanting to go back and do a little retcon that in the pre-Weinstein era a couple of seasons back, ooh, this storyline doesn’t really make the cut today that we made Noah such a lothario.

How Climate Change Became The Affair’s New Big Character Showrunner Sarah Treem explains the thinking behind the final season’s dire forecast for what life looks like in 34 short years. Read in Vulture: https://apple.news/A5oAANpESStu2OMgiKR4pQQ

Is this some type of allegory that with the rise of technology there will be no more unreliable narrator or letting your own experiences cloud your judgement because let’s go to the google glasses, toilet, strawberry sensors...to tell us what really happened? I mean, I guess we have a glimpse of Joanie and her husband having different experiences of the entirety of their marriage (miserable and cheating vs. blissful family). And they really seem to now be making this about trauma impacting your experiences, too. But technology seems to be a factor in this future to discover the “truth.”

This episode was probably the worst one yet—and that’s saying a lot! And yet, I still came here to read the posts because I knew my snarky fellow viewers would be the only thing to redeem the 42 minutes I spent watching this dreck. You did not disappoint!

Daniel’s mom has a “Parking $6” sign. Lizzy shows up and Teresa adds a “0.”

The soldier’s husband had his wedding ring on his right hand the whole show, so obviously there’s no one on set “fact checking” details like that.

I was building some real elaborate theory in which this was some alternate reality in which the third triplet didn’t die—since he was the spitting image of Kevin. The car at the body shop had a Pearson bumper sticker, so in the alternate reality, Randal was going to be president or a senator. And how they were all going to come together was that the soldier was going to drive drunk, hit Kevin’s blind twin and his wife, and their cars would end up at the kid’s body shop. It was almost a bit of a letdown to realize, oh, it’s just baby Jack?

That was the saddest excuse for a party i’ve seen! What food? Three people had water bottles, and the little girl had a pudding cup. That’s it! Then again, I got really distracted by looking at all of the “collectibles” in that aunt’s house that maybe I missed the food in the foreground. I couldn’t get past that odd railing “protecting” a ring bearer pillow as if it were keeping throngs of tourists away from the Mona Lisa. Then there was a small curio cabinet brimming with dolls.

This Glorietta is a trip! Why’d they hold out on us? “He’s my everything hashtag everything! ... I love to go on dates, whether it’s on a boat or a train.” A wedding vision scrapbook! Mom, Tammy, is even better! In response to “and he sings really nice”: “What is he going to sing to you, ‘Jailhouse Rock’?” And to “and he comes from a nice family”: “Ted Bundy came from a nice family!” This “hot spring” is a dirty heated pool in a strip mall? Shane punched somebody’s eyeball out of his head and these two dolts think this was a good thing?!?! Vince is adopting a fleet of adult prisoners to claim as dependents on his “secret government” payout?!?!? What?!?!? Um, looks like next season will be Vince with the photo on the right with FRAUD underneath. Here comes Ed Beagly Jr to play bounty hunter with Angela. What’s more awkward—sex on the laundry room floor or being interviewed afterward about it in underwear and blankets? Lacy is saying to us that she’s known John for 15 YEARS but she’s telling Shane they met a year ago?!?!

Katie Explained What Really Happened Leading Up To Her Tense 'BiP' Reunion Read in Bustle: https://apple.news/AwFKabFgbTgOBZfV0JxZkkQ

Seriously. Now I finally understand Hannah B’s perception of Caelynn. I always thought Hannah came off as the instigator and was shocked that they made her Bachelorette, but now I do believe that Caelynn “turned” on her. But Caelynn has us convinced Hannah was just jealous.

Wow. Somehow I thought Dean’s van would at least be a camper, but it’s literally just a regular-sized van with some stuff in it. Yikes.