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Season 2 Discussion


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13 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I am confused about Paul's comments about what he gave up in order to marry a woman that will actually let him touch her...why did he give up his parents, Christmas, New Years, etc...? I don't remember Karine telling Paul he had to give up his family and such. 

That is such a played out theme, "I gave up (insert what or whoever) for you" what did you think would happen when you have no money because you  spent it all on going to a foreign country to play house with someone you chatted with for a bit on line.  When Paul's mother told him he was not ready to get married I am pretty sure she meant being financially ready but Paul heard something different I am sure.  

Was it Karine and Paul's plan to live in Brazil permantly?

Christmas and New Years meant missing the holidays, most likely. Giving up his parents may have meant they couldn't come to the wedding. As for the dog, your guess is as good as mine. AFIK, he wasn't planning to live in Brazil permanently.

1 hour ago, Gobi said:

Christmas and New Years meant missing the holidays, most likely. Giving up his parents may have meant they couldn't come to the wedding. As for the dog, your guess is as good as mine. AFIK, he wasn't planning to live in Brazil permanently.

Oh boohoo. He missed New years and Christmas with his parents - what is he, 6 ??

  • Love 8
3 hours ago, crabbygrrl said:

When I say Karine's parents were for the marriage, I don't in any way mean happy about it or excited about it, except for the opportunity it might give their daughter for a better life.  But they had chances to strongly voice objections -- for example, when Paul presented them with the details of his criminal record--but they didn't do so, at least not on camera.  It was clear they had doubts but they went along with the whole process -- until right after the wedding, when suddenly Paul is dirt under their feet.  Now of course there is a ton of stuff we aren't shown and I'm not trying to be an advocate of Paul, I just think Karine's family helped make this marriage happen, whether it was something they were enthusiastic about or not.

Have you ever tried to convince someone not to marry a jackass? It's impossible. Unless you have video of the potential spouse doing something extreme that wedding is a GO  I've seen some of my dearest friends run down the aisle to marry all flavors of idiot.  The is no stopping the illusion of love! I am actually surprised that Michael and Jesse are backing off a bit 

  • Love 7

When Karine’s mom was sitting with Paul and saying he was a smart ass, did anyone notice all the bottles of what appeared to be liquor on the table?

I don’t think her parents are all that hard up by Brazilian standards. Certainly not middle class but not poverty level either. I think they could have put a stop to the wedding if they had really wanted to. Her father is a retired cop. He could have gotten his buddies to put a good scare into Paul. 

  • Love 1

I think Rachel is a provincial prig for being horrified at Jon's sexcapades. Her attitude made me like her a lot less. A. LOT. 

Look, you can do whatever the hell you want with your life, you can have many babies with many men and many women, who cares? But there's this little rule about how you should treat people the way you'd want them to treat you. Did Jon shame her for having unprotected, unwed sex with a rando? I'm gonna assume not. So who the the everloving blue sky is she to get all pearl clutchy about his completely normal sexual history? And weirdly (SO WEIRDLY) she seems un-fucking-fased by him admitting that he's been in dozens of fights, and has not sought counseling for why he has such shitty impulse control.

Like a lot of women here I'm sure, I am very close to two alpha men who have been in bar fights. They are both remarkable in appearance, stature and personality.  You know when both of them stopped getting into bar fights? The first time they were taken to the pokey for an overnight visit. I am unable to fathom the lack of understanding the inevitable for men who put themselves into situations where they are going to be provoked into a fight. Jon's lack of planning, comprehension of consequences, and inability to make alternate plans for when shit goes sideways would raise WAY more alarm bells for me than him having sex with randos.

I will admit that both activities seem to show a lack of impulse control and understanding of consequences and so they may be related. 

I don't think either one of the two people on the show ever used the word "adultery," so I'm not going to touch that topic. Not everyone is Christian, or religious even. 

  • Love 16
2 hours ago, spankydoll said:

Have you ever tried to convince someone not to marry a jackass? It's impossible. Unless you have video of the potential spouse doing something extreme that wedding is a GO  I've seen some of my dearest friends run down the aisle to marry all flavors of idiot.  The is no stopping the illusion of love! I am actually surprised that Michael and Jesse are backing off a bit 

It didn’t work for the Capulets and Montagues either...

  • Love 4
2 hours ago, spankydoll said:

Have you ever tried to convince someone not to marry a jackass? It's impossible. Unless you have video of the potential spouse doing something extreme that wedding is a GO  I've seen some of my dearest friends run down the aisle to marry all flavors of idiot.  The is no stopping the illusion of love! 

OMG yes. They’re all divorcées now. Just got an invitation for another disaster in matrimony coming up.

  • Love 1
2 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

think Rachel is a provincial prig for being horrified at Jon's sexcapades. Her attitude made me like her a lot less. A. LOT. 

Look, you can do whatever the hell you want with your life, you can have many babies with many men and many women, who cares? But there's this little rule about how you should treat people the way you'd want them to treat you. Did Jon shame her for having unprotected, unwed sex with a rando? I'm gonna assume not. So who the the everloving blue sky is she to get all pearl clutchy about his completely normal sexual history? And weirdly (SO WEIRDLY) she seems un-fucking-fased by him admitting that he's been in dozens of fights, and has not sought counseling for why he has such shitty impulse control.

Apparently not as he is taking on the role of legal father.   Rachel, as long as the shim sham was consensual, please don't get bent about how many women he has bedded.  It was before you knew him, that is his business, not yours.  I would be HIGHLY apprehensive about the many many MANY fights - that would be very troublesome to me.

 

4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I am confused about Paul's comments about what he gave up in order to marry a woman that will actually let him touch her...why did he give up his parents, Christmas, New Years, etc...?

I am confused by a lot of Paul's stuff - many of our soldiers (most of them actually) miss all holidays as they are stationed overseas, so please spare me the "I will miss Christmas with my family" because YOU CHOSE to follow your penis to the other end of the globe.

  • Love 12
54 minutes ago, MrFluffy said:
9 hours ago, gingerella said:

Seriously, I cannot imagine how anyone could justify "Oh, it's the married person's fault but since I'M not married I have no culpability in the cheating because I'm not cheating

Geez, if you're not married, you're not cheating. This should be obvious. It's the married person who is at fault.

Yes the married person is the one cheating but it’s still just wrong on every level, like someone said it comes down to a lack of empathy, you have to have respect for the per person getting cheated on, and if you have a conscious at all you couldn’t do it knowing how bad you’d be hurt if it were done to you. It shows his character by the fact he seems so  nonchalant about it...  

not attacking or picking on anyone it’s just my opinion?

Edited by Mainer
  • Love 4
1 hour ago, Quof said:

Adultery has nothing to do with any particular religion, or religion at all.  In Western culture, marriage is a legal and moral commitment between two people.  

No one on the show used the word "adultery." 

"Moral" is not in the legal definition of marriage. 

How do we know the married women Jon slept weren't in "open relationships?" The phrase came up. 

I realize that people have a lot of feelings about cheaters and liars, but we have no evidence to support that Jon is either. 

I have empathy and I understand that people cannot help but project their negative feelings about having been cheated on.. 

Since we're getting all biblical, let s/he who is without sin cast the first stone.

That includes taking the Lord's name in vain, having sex outside of the covenant of marriage, gossiping, gluttony, and cheating on your taxes.  Render unto Ceasar and all that.

@Kangatush, I think you're the bee's knees!

Edited by guilfoyleatpp
  • Love 6

Lots of talk about the relative culpability of being married/not married in a nonmarital sexual relationship.  It's interesting I think that none of us is apparently concerned too much with the fact that none of these people is married to the ones they are fucking, or trying to fuck, and I think that before we start grading heinousness on a scale of who is more to blame if one party is married to someone else, we ought to reflect on the fact that none of these relationships we are amusing ourselves with is sanctified by any kind of religion or standard morality.  Of course, those of us who've been hurt by situations like that have a personal stake in judging this behavior, but our personal experiences are not what we're watching.  Thank god.

They're all adults.  Rachel was upset that Jon had had sex with married women, really upset, and she gets to be.  She's no shining light of proper behavior herself, but she--and we--are entitled to have our own boundaries and enforce them as we see fit.  She might leave Jon over this, or she might decide it's something she can live with.  But if we accept the premise that a big part of the whole reason for this series is that Americans want to fuck hot foreigners, niceties really are irrelevant.  After all, Jicama is having sex with a married man.  She doesn't know it, but when she finds out, will it make a difference to her?

I think that by tuning in we all implicitly accept the flawed morality (or whatever you want to call it) of the participants, and our own flawed morality (or whatever you want to call it) for choosing to be entertained by watching people we know are behaving badly behave badly.

  • Love 6
13 minutes ago, Mothra said:

I think that by tuning in we all implicitly accept the flawed morality (or whatever you want to call it) of the participants, and our own flawed morality (or whatever you want to call it) for choosing to be entertained by watching people we know are behaving badly behave badly.

Please note my screen name, intentionally chosen as an homage to my religious preference.

Having said that, there's not a Sunday night that goes by that I don't look at Mr. AZC and say, "We're probably going to go to hell just for watching this mess."

  • Love 7
13 hours ago, spankydoll said:

Have you ever tried to convince someone not to marry a jackass? It's impossible. Unless you have video of the potential spouse doing something extreme that wedding is a GO  I've seen some of my dearest friends run down the aisle to marry all flavors of idiot.  The is no stopping the illusion of love! I am actually surprised that Michael and Jesse are backing off a bit 

Neither Michael nor Jesse are in love. At least, not with their putative soul mates.

  • Love 1
18 hours ago, Mothra said:

So many posters here--this is not personal--keep saying that Kreeny's parents were in favor of this marriage, and I just don't see it.  What I saw was parents who were suspicious in the first place of Pole because he would make the trip to the backside of Brazil and show up with six lockers full of protective gear, who would "ask for their daughter's hand" by making the universal "fuck" sign (poking his forefinger through the OK sign on his other hand), unable to speak or understand their language, run away when he got upset--literally *run away*--leaving their daughter to the depredations of a robber, make their daughter take all kinds of medical tests, keep their daughter upset and in tears, who were told by their daughter that Pole was verbally abusive to her when they were alone--the father agreed to allow his daughter to marry Pole only after Kreeny whined and begged (because Kreeny does want to go to the US) (as if he could have prevented the marriage anyway) and a mother who can't talk about the marriage without crying, who told her daughter *as the daughter was having a breakdown about whether to go ahead with the wedding or not* she could come back home--these are not parents who "supported the marriage."

 I saw Paul's obscene gesture not as the universal F*ck sign, but as putting a ring on a finger. 

I feel like Karine's parents support this marriage because they see Paul as a "way out" for their daughter.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

  • Love 1
1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

Please note my screen name, intentionally chosen as an homage to my religious preference.

Having said that, there's not a Sunday night that goes by that I don't look at Mr. AZC and say, "We're probably going to go to hell just for watching this mess."

You’ll have a lot of great company down there, if that’s the case!!

  • Love 5

i wonder if these open relationships Jon   was a part of were just relationships he had with married women who were cheating on their spouse, or were they truly open relationships in which the women’s spouses knew and were okay with them having sex with Jon and also had relationships outside the marriage. 

Looking at Jon and listening to him talk, I just do not see someone so attractive or interesting that all these women would be so taken by him. I think he’s probably had his share of one night stands, but I don’t think he’s had more than a couple of what we would consider “relationships”. 

I see Rachel’s concern about his being okay with “open” relationships as fear that he will  stray during the time she is in the US. She is aware that there’s  good chance they will be separated for stretches of time and she doesn’t want to have to worry about his fidelity during that period. 

  • Love 5
22 hours ago, crabbygrrl said:

Final thought:  I am so tired of hearing in all of the 90 day series about how generous, open hearted, family oriented, caring people the non-Americans are.  It's a put down and it's abused and I don't like it.  You want to send laptops and huge screen TVs to your (lawyer) mom or let your family eat all the food in your house and then act like Americans are just tightfisted jerks. I've dealt with this accusation myself and it infuriates me.

 

I agree.  My husband is first generation and his family is far from caring and family oriented, unless it’s their nuclear family.   My parents have embraced my husband and treated him like a son.  My inlaws have pretty let all the spouses of their children know they don’t matter.  They like to think they are all tight but all of them would slit each other’s throats for a nickel.   Yeah, so, I don’t buy it.  

These people who look for love overseas do it because they can’t find it here.  In most cases it’s because they are incapable of having a real relationship with another.  They are looking for adoration and having the upper hand.  They want to control, not love.  

Its apparent to me that most of these foreigners are trolling many Americans at once, hoping one will bite.  Not every American is as desperate as these fools, spending $$$ to meet the love of their life, only after meeting them online two weeks prior.   So when one takes the bait, the foreigners, for the most part, will jump on the chance coming to  America.  

Note to Tarik:  if Hazel is as religious as she claims to be, she isn’t having sex with you until you are married.   Of course, I don’t believe she is that religious.   She just can’t stand you.  

  • Love 8
3 hours ago, LocalGovt said:

 I saw Paul's obscene gesture not as the universal F*ck sign, but as putting a ring on a finger. 

I feel like Karine's parents support this marriage because they see Paul as a "way out" for their daughter.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Absolutely that's how he meant it.  But look at Kreeny's father's face.  That's not how it came across.  Remember, this was after Pole begged for Kreeny to be able to stay with him at a hotel, swearing he would defend her honor and not fuck her.  Dad must've been really confused about Pole's intentions!

I'm not sure Kreeny's parents see her life with Pole as a good thing.  She has told them that he is mean to her when they are alone, that he treats her badly.  I have not seen warm "welcome to the family" embraces from the parents.  Feelings are one thing, but I'd like to see some evidence that the parents are in favor of this marriage.  Everything I've seen so far indicates the opposite.

  • Love 2
On 9/21/2018 at 11:53 AM, gonecrackers said:
On 9/21/2018 at 9:07 AM, iwasish said:

 

Next week it looks like Tarek is upset because they haven't had sex therefore he has no proof of her love.

He needs proof of her love and they've only known each other like three weeks.   This guy is a straight-up skeeze, isn't he.   Also, Tarik, aren't muscle shirts for guys with muscles?

  • Love 6

Re the open relationship thing. I get what Jon was saying. Some of his married FWBs were involved in open relationships. It can be assumed that their husbands or boyfriends knew and consented or were down with it. Open relationships or any form of ethical non-monogamy involve honesty and not messing around behind someone's back.

I can speak from experience. I'm an ethical non-monogamist or poly, as I have a husband and a girlfriend of just about the same amount of time. I despise labels and refuse to call it a lifestyle choice. Obviously, everyone's in the loop because she lives on the estate in her own wing, and she's not my dirty little secret. Kiddos are fully aware of who she is. My parents consider her their daughter-in-law. It has been a well oiled machine for almost two decades. I grew up in a religious household, went to parochial schools, always have been devout in my faith, and I still found myself in love with two people. I struggled with it, have lost "friends"/family behind it, etc. Whatever. I raise my glass of wine and eat my Rice-a-Roni and steak cut on the bias. Cheers and suck it.

Poly or any ethical non-monogamy isn't everyone's cup of tea, but Rachel came off kind of judging him and making a big to do about nothing honestly. Yes, there are some people who absolutely feel smothered in a monogamous relationship and can't be with just one person. There are some people who are OK with their partners dating others, and they are happy to only be with the one person. Reality is, some people ebb and flow where their lovestyle is concerned. If my marriage or relationship ended, I wouldn't seek a second partner. I'd be hunky dory with a monogamous situation. It really isn't Rachel's business what he did before she met him. He wasn't being a homewrecker, acting like Mr. Steal Ya Girl, or tearing apart relationships. It sounded like something he found himself in, but it isn't a need or even a want. He didn't say he wanted their relationship to be open or anything along those lines. She was concerned for nothing.

Edited by AussieBabe
  • Love 12
On 9/22/2018 at 10:27 AM, Dobian said:

If you mess around with a married person then you are as guilty as they are lol.  You can rationalize all you want about what the law says or the Bible says, morally you are in the same boat they are.  You did a bad thing, doesn't matter if you want to put the blinders on and not own up to it.  It takes two to tango.

Absolutely.  I can't go along with the attitude of, "well, I'm single; what a married person does [including sleeping with me] is nothing I'm responsible for."

  • Love 3
6 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Please note my screen name, intentionally chosen as an homage to my religious preference.

Having said that, there's not a Sunday night that goes by that I don't look at Mr. AZC and say, "We're probably going to go to hell just for watching this mess."

Actually, I was kind of thinking about you when I wrote that post.  But if we don't expose ourselves to sin, how will we recognize it so we can avoid it?  <--that's a really feeble excuse I've heard from religious people to excuse their addiction to shows like this.

I am not a believer, but I do wonder why I choose to watch (and enjoy!!!) the spectacle of these folks doing things they shouldn't be doing--and they shouldn't be doing them for reasons far beyond whatever their (and our) religious beliefs.  Their reckless, selfish behavior is immoral imo based solely on my own beliefs about how we should treat each other in this world.  And if everyone in the world behaved like this, what a mess we'd be in.  Yet I watch.  And I look forward to Sunday nights so I can watch more.  Worst of all, I don't feel guilty about it!

  • Love 7
On 9/22/2018 at 1:27 PM, crabbygrrl said:

They know exactly what they are doing, you only have to look at the seductive poses they post. 

Yup. I look at those poses and think, I guess you have to be a man not to see what she's selling - and it ain't a cozy home life with 2 kids and a puppy. It's like Catfish. These guys see what looks to me like obviously fake pictures or pictures of girls who don't have to travel across country to find a boy friend, but they don't see that at all. No one on these shows ever wants the sweet looking, modestly dressed girl. They go for the ho, and then wonder how they got catfished or involved with a woman who just wants money from them. 

And while I'm here - how come these people, male and female, never questions why they love of their life on the other end of the phone can't tell them where they work, won't meet them, turns out suddenly to have cancer and can't take their calls for a month, won't Skype, nada. But they're still in love. 

  • Love 2
On 9/17/2018 at 4:59 PM, trimthatfat said:

Not only did she not seem to care about her clothing, not even for the nights out, but she has had a perma-frown this whole season. She just seems depressed to me. 

Meeeee tooooo!  The light never reaches her eyes.  The end of the visit (with the tears and clinging) was the same emotional shade as the beginning.  I don’t know what Jon sees in her - I mean I dont hate her, she seems like a sweet, compliant girl.  But she’s dull as dirt.  He’s a repeat offender fighter, and she has ZERO fight in her.  Maybe it’s yen and yang, I dunno, I just don’t see how she has him so interested when the other 90 gazillion women he’s been with didnt finish the race.  I like him - seems to me when she throws her Eyeore questions out there in her flat monotone voice, he always has a good, level-headed answer.   However, it worries me that no one she met ever had an encouraging thing to say about him.  Even his mom!   I actually think he wants to settle down, just don’t know that he has it in him to do it.

  • Love 3
3 hours ago, Eldemarge said:

He needs proof of her love and they've only known each other like three weeks.   

I just don't understand that whole mindset at all.  If I sleep with someone early on it usually is because I don't see a future and I just want to have fun.  If I wait and take time to get to know someone before we knock boots it means I sense a future...that is how I went about my life.  Hazel might be a bit more cautious seeing that she has a child from one relationship and a messy break up not long ago.  Or on the other hand, the guy that has her clothes my have been her pimp and she is desperate to get away ASAP lol.

Tarik just keeps pushing for sex and she keeps backing away, Tarik does not see that the more he pushes the more she tenses up...has he even had a conversation with her about his daughter if so does she grasp the reality of what his daughter would even need in the way of care? 

Tarik is in this strickly for his penis and his brother must realize that and is trying to squash a disasterous relationship.  

  • Love 1
3 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

Re the open relationship thing. I get what Jon was saying. Some of his married FWBs were involved in open relationships. It can be assumed that their husbands or boyfriends knew and consented or were down with it. Open relationships or any form of ethical non-monogamy involve honesty and not messing around behind someone's back.

I can speak from experience. I'm an ethical non-monogamist or poly, as I have a husband and a girlfriend of just about the same amount of time. I despise labels and refuse to call it a lifestyle choice. Obviously, everyone's in the loop because she lives on the estate in her own wing, and she's not my dirty little secret. Kiddos are fully aware of who she is. My parents consider her their daughter-in-law. It has been a well oiled machine for almost two decades. I grew up in a religious household, went to parochial schools, always have been devout in my faith, and I still found myself in love with two people. I struggled with it, have lost "friends"/family behind it, etc. Whatever. I raise my glass of wine and eat my Rice-a-Roni and steak cut on the bias. Cheers and suck it.

Poly or any ethical non-monogamy isn't everyone's cup of tea, but Rachel came off kind of judging him and making a big to do about nothing honestly. Yes, there are some people who absolutely feel smothered in a monogamous relationship and can't be with just one person. There are some people who are OK with their partners dating others, and they are happy to only be with the one person. Reality is, some people ebb and flow where their lovestyle is concerned. If my marriage or relationship ended, I wouldn't seek a second partner. I'd be hunky dory with a monogamous situation. It really isn't Rachel's business what he did before she met him. He wasn't being a homewrecker, acting like Mr. Steal Ya Girl, or tearing apart relationships. It sounded like something he found himself in, but it isn't a need or even a want. He didn't say he wanted their relationship to be open or anything along those lines. She was concerned for nothing.

There's an insurmountable difference, though, between what we do in our own lives and what is being presented for our entertainment on this show, and I'm sure that no one here would be as judgmental about someone in person as we are about these guys who parade their fucked-upedness every week.  People who are in relationships of whatever sort who are not in the position of  using sex or withholding sex as part of a transaction--which I think is the case in 90% of what we're watching--is immoral imo.  That's pretty much where my judgment stops:  with the bartering aspect of sex we see over and over here.  And it's so unfair (keep your pants on, Rachel) when what is being bartered is fucking for a chance at a better life.  Seems like a gross devaluation of one or the other.

Jon and Rachel are almost unique in not being in that transactional mode, but I think a little eye-rolling is certainly justified when/if either of them questions the ability of the other to be faithful.  Jon has confessed to various affairs with various partners, and Rachel has confessed to unprotected sex with someone else after she had become serious with Jon.  No Simon Pures here.

8 hours ago, iwasish said:

 

I see Rachel’s concern about his being okay with “open” relationships as fear that he will  stray during the time she is in the US. She is aware that there’s  good chance they will be separated for stretches of time and she doesn’t want to have to worry about his fidelity during that period. 

True, I have never been the jealous type, but I don't see anything wrong with him getting his rocks off while we're apart.  I probably wouldn't do it too, just because sex doesn't really mean much to me.  I could really care less what he does when I go back to the US.  The only risk is that he may fall in love with someone else, and if that happens, then a major problem is solved.

6 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 Darcy probably use some of Jesse’s beauty products without asking first.

I believe you are 100% correct.   It's madness, unbeeee-leeeevable, she ruins everything.

It's perfect Jesse, the delusional pig with a 4x2-head who never ever ever ever does anything wrong.

The steak cutting, correct pizza eating asshole.

  • Love 22

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