In Kreeny's defense, accepting the fact that her husband refuses to learn the language of the country they're living in (although she has made efforts to learn English--we even saw her in an English class, iirc), I suspect moving back home to her parents where she knows she and her baby will have a roof over their heads and food to eat is a smart decision.
I don't see how he is damned if he does, since he hasn't *done* anything. He first of all needs to learn the language, and he's had several years in which to do that. Afaik, he has made zero effort to learn Portuguese--"it's hard!!"--to which Kreeny rightly responded "so is English!"
He came back to the US to earn some money for them to live on, which he didn't. We learned his job was as a part-time shit shoveler for a farmer. He doesn't have the excuse that he doesn't speak the language. We know it's hard for him to find a good job with his criminal record--so what was he doing looking for a wife in the first place, knowing he could not support a family, in the US or elsewhere?
There are programs in the US to help felons find work--I know because my uncle worked for the WV dept. of rehabilitation, which did exactly that--but Pole doesn't seem to have made any effort to get help in finding a job. We know that there are employers--like the trash-hauling guy on Hoarders--who seek out ex-cons to give them a fresh start, but as far as we know Pole hasn't looked for that kind of help, either. I think Kreeny is right--Pole doesn't want to find a job.
Pole has obvious mental-health issues, and there are social-service agencies that help people with those problems find work, too--maybe not the kind of job that will support a family, but at least a job where he can earn some money.
And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head about what Pole has *not* done. Yes, he's damned because he doesn't, but it seems to me that there's plenty he can *do* without being damned. I'm no fan of Kreeny--why in hell would she not use birth control knowing that she and her husband had no money coming in?--but it seems to me that any ugliness she's exhibiting toward Pole is more than justified.