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  1. If that's soccer, this is football:
  2. "My suggestion is: are you fucking kidding me"
  3. "This needs a little bit more seasoning and 55 more shrimp."
  4. That is the cutest dog and the dirtiest table I've ever fucking seen.
  5. I'm trying to decide if my eating habit should include Milano cookies.
  6. When Dr. Now holds the book with himself on the cover wearing the same outfit, all is right in the world.
  7. Kenae is the person who would be offended at a murder charge after killing someone on camera in front of witnesses while holding her driver's license in full view. "How DARE you assume that was me?!" If she put as much energy into walking an hour a day as she put into her temper tantrums, she'd lose the weight. I still think the solution is to move the refrigerator a half mile away from the house.
  8. Once upon a time, Heroic Hank met Impish Ivan. And every day... Impish Ivan would knock Heroic Hank's Heavenly Hash ice cream scoop off the cone and onto the floor.
  9. Would you hypothesize then that simply purchasing a round trip ticket (and not using the second ticket) would've been the smarter move for them?
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