Joe & Kendra: Looking Forward To Side Hugs

[heckkitty]

Quote

How can you show him how to get you off if you cannot even get yourself off?!!

Silly Scarlett, doncha know it doesn't matter if you get off? You just need to make sure you have a ready egg. 

Edited September 17, 2017 by heckkitty

[Pinke]

11 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

When are they going to be headliners as speakers for being experts in married life?  Oh, wait, it's only been a week!

Which is more than enough, according to Duggars ''logic''.

 

That being said, those two don't strike me as too arrogant or pontifical (unlike, say, Jill, Derick, Jessa, Joy or Austin). You never know, though... Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Edited September 17, 2017 by PinkyCupcake
Typo

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, PinkyCupcake said:

 

That being said, those two don't strike me as too arrogant or pontifical (unlike, say, Jill, Derick, Jessa, Joy or Austin). You never know, though... Guess we'll have to wait and see.

I have some hope, but I believe they have already spoken of a "ministry." And Joe did take that adult-education-type course at Crown that seemed to be sort of aimed at men who aspire to preach at others without actually being pastors, I think. 

Hoping those were just random things they said and did under parental influence. 

[DangerousMinds]

How is preaching at others a career? And he shouldn't need to be taught, given the family circus he has grown up in.

[laurakaye]

20 hours ago, BitterApple said:

What?! And this is the guy who hates gays? Glass houses, right?

 

Congratulations video for Mason's birth. Is it me or is Joe looking ten years younger since he got laid? He actually looks like a guy in his early 20s rather than a middle aged high school geometry teacher. Marriage suits both of them. 

Whoa, I barely recognize ol' Joe, what with the rosy cheeks, devilish twinkle in his eyes, the saucy sunglasses and the non-polo shirt!  Fascinating metamorphosis, this.  Quick, get all the Duggar boys married off ASAP so they too might avoid turning into day-old Wonder Bread.

[lianau]

17 hours ago, Heathen said:

I always find it amusing when bible thumpers get caught, metaphorically, with their pants down. The born-agains I knew growing up were the biggest sluts in town (male and female). 

 

I do hope Kendra was never blamed or shamed for being conceived out of wedlock. Heck, my grandmother was born eight months after her parents were married, in rural Nebraska, in 1929. 

My grandparents got married in late October 1951, my mother was born in April 1952 ;) 

[Churchhoney]

51 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

How is preaching at others a career? And he shouldn't need to be taught, given the family circus he has grown up in.

I think this is the current version of the course he took -- http://thecrowncollege.edu/academics/christian-life-certificate/

Looks to me as if it's just "God-bothering Whoever Happens To Be Where You Are 101." -- 

"The Foundation for Christian Life Certificate

"One Year Program

"The FCLC is designed to equip students for a lifetime of effective Christian service in any field of education or employment into which God may lead them."

Course list (pointed highlighting mine):

BI 101Old Testament Survey3

BI 120Bible Geography2

BI 204Hermeneutics and Bible Study2

BI 211Bible Doctrine I3

CM 121Personal Evangelism2

MI 101Introduction to Missions2

BI 102New Testament Survey3

BI 203Methods of Bible Teaching2

BI 212Bible Doctrine II3

CM 132Living the Christian Life2

HI 492Baptist History and Distinctives3

SC 401Creation Science3

Edited September 17, 2017 by Churchhoney

[Patricia07]

45 minutes ago, lianau said:

My grandparents got married in late October 1951, my mother was born in April 1952 ;) 

My grandparents got married March 13, 1925; my mother was born Sept. 16, 1925.  I think it bothered her, and I suspect she was teased by her younger sisters.  I had no idea until I started doing genealogy.  

[Rabbittron]

15 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

When are they going to be headliners as speakers for being experts in married life?  Oh, wait, it's only been a week!

The Duggars become experts at marriage as soon as they have the first fuck?

[Churchhoney]

5 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

The Duggars become experts at marriage as soon as they have the first fuck?

Not exactly the same but still kind of similar to the way they become expert electricians, florists, plumbers, mechanics and so on. One quick pass and a Duggar knows what it's doing and could hang out a professional shingle (if they believed in those).

JB taught his kids learning skills that are beyond what anybody else possesses. I've heard Joy actually say that, I think. And they learn with the same lightning speed in personal life as they do with workplace-type skills. Praise the correct Jesus. 

[Heathen]

41 minutes ago, Patricia07 said:

My grandparents got married March 13, 1925; my mother was born Sept. 16, 1925.  I think it bothered her, and I suspect she was teased by her younger sisters.  I had no idea until I started doing genealogy.  

It bothered my grandmother a little when people teased her (even though she herself had an out-of-wedlock child after her divorce). My great-grandmother said, "If my parents had let me marry Claude when I wanted to, it never would have happened." 

[ehall1052]

I find it odd that apparently the guys were told what color tan shoes to wear with their suits, but the girls could wear any old shoes? I've been in 15 weddings and I was always told what kind of shoes to wear; everything from dyed to match satin pumps (see how old I am!) to strappy white sandals with at least a 2-in. heel. Never have I've seen such a variety of shoes.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, lianau said:

My grandparents got married in late October 1951, my mother was born in April 1952 ;) 

My grandfather was born out of wedlock several months after his father married someone else. His mother, a single teen mom, married when he was 4 years old.

[cereality]

Joseph does look younger in that video. Obviously a lot of it has to do with not being able to see his hairline and his gut. Yet the rosy cheeks and the smile/eyes showing genuine happiness and looking genuinely relaxed isn't something we see from the Duggar clan. Though to be fair, all of them have had that look in the first post-wedding/honeymoon video -- for the girls probably bc they're so relieved that they locked it down and won't be Jana and the guys bc they got laid. Kendra -- to me -- has always looked like a pudgy Barbie doll; though if Joe loves her - who am I to care about her looks.

Of all the marriages, I see Joe and Kendra and Joy and Austin being the happiest. I think the 4 of them are "simple folk" who 100% believe in how they were raised and don't question whether there's more out there in the world that they're missing out. Joe and Austin will work on cars and homes their whole lives to bring home the bacon to their wives who will pop out babies early until both family ends up with 9-15 kids. Joe and Austin (and their wives) won't wonder -- is this worth it; should I have gone to college; would it be cool to live someplace etc. They'll spend their lives doing what they're supposed to do.

Different from the other married siblings. Derick and Jer are college grad who had seen the world (to a certain extent) before settling down. They married bc they needed an arranged marriage to get a girl (Derick) or were a fame whore (Jer) but I think they got married thinking -- sure she's an unexperienced 20-22 yr old, but so what lots of girls are inexperienced, living with me will make her more "mainstream." And then post marriage they realized, they married a 20-22 yr old who wasn't just naïve about relationships/sex (which isn't unheard) but is also naïve about life, the world, being independent, having friends that aren't siblings, being a confident adult who doesn't need to cling to daddy or a husband etc. Both husbands took on their wives as improvement projects -- trips to NYC/Broadway; introducing them to Korean BBQ and Nepali food and hummus; taking them to museums (Jer). Clearly Derick is over that improvement project that is Jill bc he has learned that she won't change, can't change, and doesn't want to change -- she wants to live an un-curious life down the road from her siblings, and going on outings to Walmart with her 11 kids; and he's more over it bc she's holding back his "dream" of living overseas bc she can't cope. Jer -- OTOH -- is still trying and doesn't seem over it, probably bc he has a wife that's a bit brighter and didn't necessarily drink the fundie kool aid so there's a greater chance she isn't resisting change and will go fundie lite in certain aspects of life -- like having 3-4 kids instead of 11.

Jessa + Bin -- I think Bin is the content one, which Jessa is the one who wants more. Except she rushed into marriage with an 18 yr old hottie bc she wanted to jump his bones, yet now she's realizing that have a kid yearly + a husband who is unemployable except for any jobs created by her father will forever hold her back from making any changes - no matter how small -- to her life.

[LilJen]

So there is DEFINITELY a formula to all these congratulatory videos. "Congratulations [just-married couple, birthday person, couple who just announced pregnancy, couple with anniversary, couple who got engaged, couple who started courting]. We are so excited for you, to see what the Lord will do in [your/your kid's] life(lives). We just know this [birthday/wedding/conception/engagement/courting] is such a blessing from the Lord and shows how closely you have been following the Lord, and we are so excited for you and can't wait to see what path the Lord will have for [you/your kid]. We love you a lot and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you." [repeat ad nauseum] They really all say the same crap, almost word for word.

[xwordfanatik]

Yup, it's sadly like their upbringing, @LilJen.  Cookie cutter Duggarbots.  Individual thoughts & personality not allowed.  Unlike many of us in the real world, who actually raise our kids to be independent and self-supporting people, this bunch only wants conformity and toeing the line from their flock.

They never seem to say anything original.  It's just all regurgitated crap, and dictated by Boob, from birth.  FUBAR.

[Fostersmom]

Joe and Kendra,  the human equivalent of a vanilla wafer.

Her dress was very pretty, the bodice just needed to be more of a dropped waist to elongate her body. I'm loving the sparkles on the veil.  

[ariel]

On ‎9‎/‎15‎/‎2017 at 1:41 PM, allonsyalice said:

She looks radiant and happy and on her wedding day, that's most important. 

It will be interesting to see how she looks the morning after...

I find that very important. 

Edited September 18, 2017 by ariel

[Sew Sumi]

We saw the congratulations video for Mason. She looked happy. Joe looked like a different person, although part of that may have the baseball cap that covered his hairline.

[Sew Sumi]

More Duggar ring hijinks. I wish they knew how stupid this looks. 

[BitterApple]

Seriously? Part of me feels bad that they're so socially inept they don't even realize how obnoxious and immature they are. 

On another note, if Pastor Caldwell wasn't a gay basher, I'd find him smoking hot.

Edited September 19, 2017 by BitterApple

[Sew Sumi]

Okay, so I had about 20 minutes to kill, and I found out from FJ that TLCgo.com put up a good portion of the wedding episode on the website for viewing, if your cable carrier cooperates. 

Dude with Kendra's ring RAPELLED down from the ceiling of the church. Kendra's nervous giggles made me want to scream. When I first saw the pic on my phone, I thought the guy was holding handcuffs and wondering what form of bondage was acceptable to fundies. 

FWIW, she called her hair half up/half down, although she only pulled back a tiny portion of that mane. 

They did a good job shooting around Smuganna. I didn't see them at all; they shot from the right, so I figure they were on that side. Jill walked down with ramdom dude (not Trace Bates), and Hannie/Justin were paired up (also cropped from that group pic). 

Mothers: Ma Caldwell did some serious Crest Strips before the wedding. No almost 40 year-old has teefs that white.  Mechelle, take off that godawful paste necklace. It was way too much with the high necked sequined dress. That thing would work best with a low cut strapless/spaghetti strap ensemble. Better yet, just take it back to the Salvation Army and get a refund. TACKY! 

Musings: I always wonder how much preaching they leave out of the ceremonies, especially after enduring the Bontrager nuptials, which lulled me to sleep. What they show is pretty much what my wedding was: short and sweet because my husband is the biggest introvert ever. I mean, they even leave out the minister's homily about the definition of marriage. If these weddings are so "God honoring," wouldn't that be standard fare at these events? 

I'm glad I saw this. I can skip the episode now. Yay! 

Edited September 19, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[Patricia07]

I wonder if Kendra giggles during sex.

[ozziemom]

Just watched JoKen's wedding on TLCgo.com too. Grandma Mary had on a dress similar to Mechelle's infamous triangle outer space MOB dress, usually Mary looks so nice.

Also noticed Anna and Smugs were nowhere to be seen. At one point they showed the front row, JB, Mechelle, Mary, Jordyn, Tyler (looked completely bored) but no Josie. Behind them were Jer, Bin and some little kids, maybe Spurg and the M's? There seemed to be some kids missing, unless they were sitting somewhere else.

The whole scene with the guy coming rappelling down with the ring was ridiculous, poor Kendra! She seemed clueless and to me, it was very disrespectful. For all their talk about godliness, they treat a church like their backyard. I guess the Duggars have to do things a little different.

[Sew Sumi]

Who knows where Josie was? Jordyn even got a close-up, as did Mary. I didn't look that deep into the rows, so I missed Babysitter Ben. Didn't see Derelict at all, thank goodness. I hope that there wasn't a coordinated "steal the wife" bit during the recessional. 

Joe blew the kiss. Grab her around the waist, not her veil! He could have yanked the entire ensemble down! My hubby gently caressed my face with his fingers, tilting my chin up in the process, but that might send this crowd to the fainting couches. 

[ariel]

3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

More Duggar ring hijinks. I wish they knew how stupid this looks. 

I wonder how long they practiced this lame skit?

[Sew Sumi]

@ariel, If you read my next post, you'll realize that dude rapelled down from the ceiling (roof with a hole?) of the church. 

Probably the most classless Duggar stunt to date. I wonder if Pa Caldwell was in on the shenanigans; he didn't show much reaction, but then I guess he also had to play the professional pastor. 

Edited September 19, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[latetotheparty]

41 minutes ago, Patricia07 said:

I wonder if Kendra giggles during sex.

God, I hope she can. 

[floridamom]

These childish pranks that they do at their wedding ceremonies take away from the solemn, Godly step that they proclaim marriage to be. No room for disrupting such a serious, spiritual step in life. They contradict themselves over and over again.

[Loves2Dance]

JoKen: We Finally Did "It" 

[MargeGunderson]

11 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

More Duggar ring hijinks. I wish they knew how stupid this looks. 

That's what happens when children marry

[ginger90]

Baking cookies

http://www.duggarfamily.com/2017/9/joe-and-kendra-share-recipe

[Loves2Dance]

59 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Baking cookies

http://www.duggarfamily.com/2017/9/joe-and-kendra-share-recipe

Where are they living?

[louannems]

On 9/17/2017 at 7:45 AM, doodlebug said:

 

Everyone knows you cool cookies on a wire cooling rack.  Otherwise they become soggy.

However, Kendra overbaked her cookies, too crunchy for my taste.

[LilJen]

10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

@ariel, If you read my next post, you'll realize that dude rapelled down from the ceiling (roof with a hole?) of the church. 

Probably the most classless Duggar stunt to date. I wonder if Pa Caldwell was in on the shenanigans; he didn't show much reaction, but then I guess he also had to play the professional pastor. 

I have to protest here, folks. It was actually a HIGHLY BIBLICAL reenactment of a Bible story. Jesus is ministering in someone's house and the house is so utterly crowded that a few of his disciples bring their paralyzed friend up on the roof and lower him down through a hole in the roof. Jesus heals the guy. (I may or may not have acted out this skit years ago wearing a fake beard.)

Edited September 19, 2017 by LilJen

[Lunera]

Joe looks a little sunburned to me but they both look happy, probably all that alone time.  Enjoy the alone time because in a few short months you'll be blessed with a little one. 

@Sew Sumi that was a very aggressive first kiss.

[BitterApple]

I'm surprised Kendra didn't chip a tooth on that first kiss. 

[Mollie]

15 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

More Duggar ring hijinks. I wish they knew how stupid this looks. 

Michelle was obviously too busy to hem the boys' pants legs.  

[Marigold]

On 9/16/2017 at 10:27 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

Joe looks so much better after getting laid. 20 years of Fundy misery and repressive upbringing of Nike and masturbation sermons.  His spotty, greasy complexion and melon head seemingly cleared up overnight.

Maybe now Joe can be a bit more his own person and hopefully make his own way out of the Duggarverse.

Kendra really looked lovely on her wedding day.

Having access to a shower without 20 people banging on the door is probably helped rid that greasy look. 

And having sex.  AND a shower afterwards too!  It's a bonus day for Joe Duggar! 

[Westiepeach]

1 hour ago, Mollie said:

Michelle Jana was obviously too busy to hem the boys' pants legs.  

There. Fixed it for ya.

[Natalie68]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Baking cookies

http://www.duggarfamily.com/2017/9/joe-and-kendra-share-recipe

Oh ffs.  A whisk for butter.  Use a wooden spoon or mixer!  I was relieved it wasn't a box mix or slice and bake cookies.  

[latetotheparty]

4 hours ago, louannems said:

Everyone knows you cool cookies on a wire cooling rack.  Otherwise they become soggy.

However, Kendra overbaked her cookies, too crunchy for my taste.

Never too crisp. Not possible. ?

[Sew Sumi]

4 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

Where are they living?

Don't know. They weren't married when they made this video, but it looks like the Pool House kitchen. 

[Natalie68]

9 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

Never too crisp. Not possible. ?

If you like crispy cookies I have a recipe for choc chip cookies that use cream of tartar and they have almost a shortbread consistency.  I prefer a cookie with a bit of crunch.

At least they were baking.  I will give them that.  Although having Joe there seemed a tad silly.  Maybe he is just finding out where cookies come from.

[BitterApple]

I wonder if Joe and Kendra got the Pool House since the Dullards are no longer there? If so that's a huge come-up for Kendra.

[latetotheparty]

Just now, Natalie68 said:

If you like crispy cookies I have a recipe for choc chip cookies that use cream of tartar and they have almost a shortbread consistency.  I prefer a cookie with a bit of crunch.

At least they were baking.  I will give them that.  Although having Joe there seemed a tad silly.  Maybe he is just finding out where cookies come from.

Yes!  Gimme!  Please!

[Natalie68]

Just now, latetotheparty said:

Yes!  Gimme!  Please!

Will do!  I will DM you tomorrow (or is it ok to post in the prayer closet?).  They are FABULOUS!  They also make a giant batch so I divide it into 3 batches and keep 2 in the freezer.  They work great for ice cream sandwiches.  This may sound weird but I also like to use 1/2 white flour and 1/2 whole wheat.  Its not a health thing, its a texture/taste thing.  

I am hoping these two kids got a Kitchenaid mixer for their wedding.  They are expensive and take up counter space but are SOOOOO worth it.  I use mine all the time.  It will help her also in her new helpmeet profession.

[Churchhoney]

7 hours ago, floridamom said:

These childish pranks that they do at their wedding ceremonies take away from the solemn, Godly step that they proclaim marriage to be. No room for disrupting such a serious, spiritual step in life. They contradict themselves over and over again.

They are idjits. 

[kokapetl]

"Thee quarters cup of room temperature butter.

Quarter teaspoon of clove.

One and three quarters cup of flour."

Is that normal terminology? I would say three quarters of a cup. And cloves would be plural. 

[3 is enough]

I just watched the wedding.  Same old, same old.  Just plug in a new bride and groom.

Some observations:

 Judging from the pictures shown at the beginning, Joe has had the same high hairline since he was a little boy.  Maybe he isn't actually losing his hair, he just has a fivehead.  

Tried to get a look at Michelle's feet to see if she was wearing the God-awful shoes but couldn't get a good view.

Why don't the bridesmaids ever wear matching color shoes?  The dresses were actually quite nice but the shoes just messed up the look.

I really do not like "Butterfly Kisses" It seemed odd to hear it during the ceremony, but of course, there was no father-daughter dance.

(When our only daughter got married last year, my husband spent months looking for a song for the father-daughter dance.  He finally chose "Walk With You" by Edwin McCain. )

 

FWIW, the stupid pranks probably are the Duggar's version of the traditional best man speech and toast, which usually has a few laughs at the expense of the groom.  

Also, hopeless immaturity.

Edited September 19, 2017 by 3 is enough