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cereality

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  1. So I guess Kendra has the Duggar/fundie view babies --Garrett is all grown up now . . . . I mean sure if your 1 yr old is all grown up then I guess it's time for another . . . .
  2. How many home births has this moron had? And didn’t she have severe bleeding after one of them, requiring being rushed to the hospital and now she does it again and same complication?? And WTF does it matter that her midwife was out of town so she couldn’t do a hospital delivery? Uh you realize hospitals have all kinds of drs./nurses/staff and if yours is out, it’s not like they her away?? What’s the real deal here? Are they uninsured so they try to get away with home births and then only go in if there’s a sudden complication that Jilly Muffin and assorted untrained midwives can’t manage? And Jana does NOT seem thrilled with her mother . . . some snark as she was like we landed in the middle of nowhere for mom and all they have is a portapotty . . . . And then she can be heard saying “commercial would’ve been faster . . . .” Yeah Jana generally speaking getting into a 4 seater plane with one of your uneducated idiot brothers is probably not a good idea no matter how often you all do it.
  3. If I were Chad I'd be doing everything I could make as much $$$ as possible right now, which means working for STRANGERS and charging them full price because reality is contracting is a discretionary business. Economy is hot right now and with so many people gainfully employed, that's when they realize it's worth it to spend a few thousand to get rid of that 80s wallpaper and that popcorn ceiling they've always hated and to remodel their kitchen. But it's a tale as old as time, as soon as the economy slows down and we move into recession -- which is slated to be within a year or 2 -- people start losing their jobs or fear losing their jobs and that's when they decide, you know, living in a closed concept house is not as big of a deal, let's save our money just in case we lose our jobs and health insurance. Chad isn't in something like plumbing -- with plumbing even when people have lost their jobs, when winter hits and pipes freeze, when their DIY solutions don't work, they break down and call a plumber because they know replacing cracked pipes and the damage they cause will be far far more expensive. I mean I don't expect princess Erin to understand things about the economy and how people put off hiring contractors sometimes, so you must strike while the iron is hot, but shouldn't her headship have the better business sense because as I understand it, business sense is only given to those with b@lls? Shouldn't he explain to his wife that spending 1-2 weeks a month on huge family jobs takes away the time from full pay clients and maybe the family jobs can wait until the recessionary slowdown? Erin did post her usual insta drivel re their anniversary. Didn't read it but it's there. Is their baby here yet? I though she and Whit and someone else (Carlin? Tori?) were all due together?
  4. Typical boring fundie wedding though more high class than most because of the venue. Gil’s charge was cringe worthy – Carlin treat him like superman and he’ll become superman, it works for all guys; build him up; tell him he’s doing a great job fixing that thing even if he doesn’t know how to fix it, that will cause him to figure it out . . . as Evan nodded along in agreement that treating him like superman will make him into superman. Eyeroll. Why didn’t he just say – sweetie basically planning on sucking your man’s d!ck 24-7 to keep him happy. So ridiculously sick of hearing about the damn song they sang at the altar. If it’s soooo stressful and nerve wracking don’t sing the ditty to each other up there. IDK why Evan considers himself such a hot songwriter – it’s the same tune over and over for courtship, engagement, wedding etc. and he just puts the same simple rhyming ideas together and it’s apparently grammy winning?? And Erin really thought it was a good idea to announce a pregnancy while you’re giving a toast at someone else’s wedding?? Evan may have married at 23 but he didn’t seem ready. It’s rare to see a 23 year old man so teary about leaving mom and dad and moving all of 3 hours away. But then in real life many/most 23 year olds moved out of mom and dad's house 5 years prior and were living in various college dorms/apartments, frat houses, or military barracks, so they don't go through their rehearsal day saying -- you know I've tried to keep busy this week so I didn't think about moving away. Though the one positive of this wedding – while I’m sure they were dying to sleep with each other having courted etc. for 2ish years, at least they didn’t act like Tori – let’s go, let’s go, let’s get out of here, do we really have to go see people, do we really have to talk to all of the, omg let’s go . . . . Frankly with these afternoon weddings, they are likely done by 3-4 pm, which gives them all evening and night to get it on – which I’m sure takes 10 seconds the first time.
  5. While indoctrinating them with the idea that their only purpose in life was to be a wife and mother who produces children yearly and takes care of her man, Kelly certainly failed to impart that wives and mothers in traditional homes are expected to cook, clean, know a pot from a pan, and understand basic household logic that said pots and pans should reside someplace near the stove/oven because it isn’t your man’s job to teach you this. But what Kelly did impart fully was that a woman is to act as dumb and confused as possible with her headships – be it dad or fiancé – so that dad and fiancé know how much she needs them and couldn’t survive life without them. I mean Carlin’s performance at city hall last week to get her marriage license with simply stunning: Dad’s name: Gil. Gil: honey my legal name is Gilvin. Carlin: OMG really??? Uh you claim to be obsessed with your nieces/nephews – did you think Bradley Gilvin’s middle name was chosen out of thin air? Mom’s name: Kelly. Wait – right – did she change it? Uh – do you plan to change your FIRST name after your wedding? Shall we call you Courtney then? SS #: OMG I have NO idea how anybody remembers SO many numbers, that’s just too many to remember, how would I do that?? Meanwhile Evan knew all those complex answers – his mother and father’s names, where his mother and father were born, and his own SS#. I mean she MUST marry this genius, as he will guide her through life . . . . And on a different note – I’m fairly convinced Paine Construction will never turn a profit. Josie is posting all kinds of pictures of their home and they are making their home into an open concept. And who is there knocking out walls and putting up new dry wall – Chad and his crew – Trace and Jackson. You know for all these family jobs, he is expected to charge for parts and minimal labor and probably no profit or very minimal profit. And this isn’t some 1 hr job installing your new microwave on a weekend, these are multiple day jobs where he and 2-3 other guys work full time for days/a week. How exactly does he/Erin expect to be able to support a yearly pregnancy if he doesn’t have he ba!!s to make $$$$? The headship really can’t stand up to his wife and say – sorry on $$$$ and job matters, I’m the headship and I know we need to pull down $x/yr and I can’t take 2 weeks a month to be doing your family projects for free and still make that goal!?
  6. Who wouldn't want to leave a 3 year old with 4 uncles under age 22 wielding power tools . . . way to go Jessa. Couldn't drop Spurge off at the big house -- surely someone there could keep some kind of eye on him w/o power tools around and when he announces he needs a new diaper, the aunts will likely take care of it, while Jed stands there and says -- uh diapers aren't my thing . . . .
  7. Kendra you feel young because you're freaking 21 -- you should be in college or at a job, not freaking playing house with 2 kids. And you're sooooo nervous and your heart is soooo racing bc announcing a pregnancy to your husband is literally the only exciting news you'll have. It's not like you're a normal american woman in 2019 who could be excited about getting a new job or getting into school or whatever. And I realize it may just be Joe and how unemotional he is but he didn't seem all that thrilled about the pregnancy. I mean he was fine but his reaction of "how about that" . . . doesn't suggest OMG this is the best thing ever. But then what 24 year old man who hardly has a job besides the car lot supporting 75 other brothers is going to be so thrilled about another mouth to feed on a yearly basis . . . .
  8. So I realize it’s required fundie speak – but Jinger is ok wearing pants bc she knows that message is coming from the Lord?? And Michelle is ok with it bc Jinger – a grown married woman with a kid – RAN IT BY HER PARENTS re being allowed to wear pants and threw some religious speak at them, so now Michelle is ok bc this is what the Lord wills?? I get it. I’m from an ardent conservative religious tradition as well yet not once have I or my family made “excuses” for what we’re wearing bc LORD’S WILL. Ok – this bikini or this top with my boobs hanging out, well it’s ok bc LORD’S WILL. I see we’ve now moved the “OMG this could be the LAST time we get to hang out without spouses” storyline from the girls to the boys, since the only unmarried girl left is Jana. What planet do these people live on?? Jer and Jed – and either the 16 or 19 yr olds – are CLEARLY looking to marry SOON likely bc they’re dying to get it on, but to go on about how this is the last time they’ll hang out and JD even doing a TH saying – enjoy these trips bc you won’t get to go on them for long was delusional. JD and Jed/Jer do realize that IRL people CAN and DO go on trips without their spouses, right?? Work trips typically don’t invite your husband/wife. Guys often do golf or fishing or hunting weekends w/o their wives. I thought Jana handled the “are you feeling pressured to marry” question well. She didn’t come across desperate but was honest that some people pressure more than others, but she tells them – hey when it’s time/the right one, I’ll let you know. I’m still ragey that she’s even put on the spot like this – that her “singleness” is something to discuss like there’s something wrong with her. But rest assured the JB PR machine is changing the spin from – we have another daughter looking to there is nothing wrong w/ our almost 30 yr old unmarried daughter, she’s had TONS of guys after her – just not the right one yet. I think they’re working hard to make sure she doesn’t end up being thought of as a loser like Chad Paine’s sister who married the rapist and a few other “really old” (i.e. 30+ yr old) fundie women – so they’re playing up the oh there are LINES of guys out the door who want her . . . . Does JD hear how he sounds?? When asked why they didn’t go on their honeymoon right away he goes – well right after being married, we didn’t want to be cooped up on a plane for 24 hrs . . . . OMG we get it. You needed to have sex RIGHT THEN and then practice it to your heart’s desire right then w/o American Airlines telling you it was time to board your flight . . . . BUT you could also have left 3 days later or after an airport bathroom quickie or whatever. Why not act like a normal person and hide your horniness and say – we planned the wedding so fast that we ran out of time to book/plan a honeymoon and we didn’t just want to go anywhere, better to wait and go someplace special; or the wedding time was so hectic, we didn’t want to go when we’d be exhausted; or we got married in Nov. and didn’t want to be away for Thanksgiving or Christmas so we wanted to wait until the new year; or we really wanted to do Finland in the dead of winter so it was better to wait until Jan-Feb . . . . See there’s a number of answers there that don’t involve – I couldn’t wait to get it up . . . .
  9. Great to see JD happy and interesting that all his siblings said that he’s become the most romantic. But did JD realize that what he was saying sounded kinda dirty?? About how all his “romance” was bottled up inside, but now that he’s let it out, he just keeps making more romance and there’s no way to turn it off/bottle it up again?? We get it . . . but OMG you’re 29 years old, you really don’t need to be saying this out loud. And the promo made me ragey on behalf of Jana. I HATE people who ask women why they aren’t married/when they’ll get married – whether they’re 29 or 39 or 59. It automatically turns the question into “so you’re not married, what’s wrong with you” – whether they say it or not, that’s what people think of single women over age 25. And I know Jed is trying to be nice/supportive with – oh there’s lots of guys after Jana, it’s just a matter of her choosing the right one – but it just adds to the story bc if in 6 mos there isn’t an engagement, it’ll be like – wait what happened to those lines of guys?? I’m sure she’ll respond as she’s supposed to – I’m praying on it, in God’s time, if it’s God’s will etc. But I sure wish she’d respond like a normal 29 yr old – loving my life, job, friends, we’ll see what happens, but I’m not just looking to marry any guy just to check the box . . . .
  10. I tend to agree that the only reason Bobby is surviving his marriage and his life is because Kelton is around. The difference between Bobby and Kelton right now is stark. Kelton has a smile that reaches his eyes. He seems genuinely thrilled to be with Josie and with his life overall; he posts all these plumbing videos where you can tell he genuinely enjoys his job dealing with frozen pipes, leaky pipes etc. And while he and Josie had to of course pop out a honeymoon baby, they appear to still be trying to keep the romance alive with baby in tow – going on their weekly coffee dates, taking road trips etc. Will that be possible once they’re on kid #2 or #6 – likely not, but at least they’re getting to know each other during their newlywed period. The difference has to be that Kelton married someone who was suited for him personality-wise AND he didn’t upset his entire life to marry her. Josie has some annoying Bates traits but overall is more like Alyssa – wanting to be a bit distant from her family, not loud/shrill etc., which matches Kelton’s personality. And Kelton is from Knox and stayed in Knox post-marriage since he married a local girl, which means he gets to keep his job, see his family etc. And as much as the Bates tend to do it, Josie hasn’t cut out Kelton’s family. Kelton posts tons of pics of his father visiting his daughter; his father was at the hospital for Willow’s birth (likely not in the room but still supporting Kelton); his grandparents, aunts/uncles were at the gender reveal and he was hanging out with them a lot; I think he and Josie go to church with his side of the family etc. In part that may have been a conscious decision on Kelton’s part – i.e. when I marry, I want a local girl. He went away for college, but maybe he didn’t want to leave his family and esp. his dad permanently. Bobby OTOH has always seemed like he rushed to marry because Kelton – and likely all their bible college friends – were marrying and prob bc SEX. In doing so, I don’t think he paid any attention to whether the girl was right for him or not. He’s a calm, collected, witty kind of guy and she’s a loud, obnoxious complainer who just wants the photograph to be complete with a handsome husband + kids, but doesn’t much care about the husband or his feelings. At first it looked like he used to get annoyed – when he called her out on not being able to watch the green beans on the stove while he put steaks on the grill on their honeymoon; when he looked genuinely hurt as she gushed about how Evan singing a little ditty to Carlin telling her to pack her bags for a Rhode Island engagement was the best engagement surprise ever, when no more than 9-12 mos ago Bobby had gone all out for Tori whisking her away from school to the mountains in Ashville for their engagement etc. Now Bobby just seems like ‘whatever.’ Like when she went on about how 9 mos away in Nashville with her husband caused her to miss EVERYTHING (which would be what – another fundie courtship + grandkid number 900000??), he barely blinked. I literally thinks he thinks – whatever – this woman give me my son and probably a bunch of other kids down the road, she gives me some sex, let’s just go live in Nashville where your annoying sisters and mom can entertain you and at least I can hang with my bff 40 hrs a week and socialize with my brothers in law, all of whom also find your sisters annoying.
  11. So it looks like Tori has broken Bobby and he has now accepted what his life is/will be. I feel like last season, he looked more frustrated and like he was trying to carve a life for him and Tori, not just trying to become a Bates. Now it looks like he fully believes he’s a Bates and that’s that. As evidenced by him saying “when I graduated college [all of like 2 yrs ago] I had all these dreams about these perfect roles in ministry, and now my goals are to be the best I can be for my wife and son.” So it took less than 2 years of being in the Bates family for all dreams except – have a kid yearly – to go away. Hate to break it to you Bobby, but there are plenty of people who graduate college and pursue their goals for years and [gasp] some even keep pursuing them after marriage and babies. But Tori must be happy that her constant complaining and misery about being SOOOOO far from home and having SOOOOO much to do for their kid with no family help while Bobby works [gasp] 40 hrs/wk was enough to get Bobby to throw in the towel on his “dreams” within 9 mos and make him say – fine let’s just go live next door to your parents and I’ll pretend I want to be a plumber, at least I get to spend 40 hrs/wk with my BFF Kelton. Erin and Whitney both seem jealous of Carlin’s wedding. I zoned out during the wedding dress part of the episode and even still I heard Whit say – that dress would be great for a renewal. Uh – didn’t you just have one? Are you angling for another one? And Erin said – where were these dresses when WE got married. I feel like Erin and Whit both hold some resentment that being the first two weddings in the family, everything was much “stricter” and exactly how the fundie parents wanted it. And now as time has gone by, they’re seeing that the other girls don’t have to choose dresses that are long sleeves and totally covered up, they can dance at their weddings, they can have dinner/meal receptions etc. Whereas Erin and Whit just went along with what Kelly said they “had to” do because they didn’t know better. And yeah Erin looked PISSED when Kelly said Carlin’s wedding was going to be the best yet. Honestly what else do these women have besides weddings + pushing out babies? And now Erin is realizing that being like 5-6 years out, her wedding is old news and even having babies isn’t that exciting anymore because it is no longer the 1st/2nd/3rd grandkid – it’s just another one of the 97 grandkids that Gil and Kelly will have.
  12. Carlin crying when talking to her siblings about her wedding, crying when sitting with Evan at golf mentioning her upcoming wedding dress shopping and then crying when she found her dress and then gushing at the dress shop about how all of her dreams are coming true step by step was SAD. And Gil then getting teary about how Carlin has always dreamed of being a princess and he has a pic of her as a little kid in a wedding dress was ridiculous and sad. Yeah Gil – you and Kelly made sure they had NO other dreams besides finding a man + pushing out kids. What else would she have dreamt of being besides a bride? Did you ever talk to her about how awesome it’d be to be a doctor or lawyer or pilot (like a commercial or Air Force one not for fundie mission companies) or botanist or English professor? I’m thinking no – because you and your wife believe that the only women who HAVE TO those things are the ones who aren’t #blessed with a man + babies – like your unfortunate daughter Michael. So I guess this week’s episode is brought to you by Top Golf and AARP? And I guess these sponsors don’t cut an actual check unless you devote x amount of time to discussing their services in depth? Because a 20 min show did not need 5-7 minutes each on Top Golf and AARP. Sorry but it would’ve been enough for Lawson to say let’s go to Top Golf + Evan to say how much he loves TG + an outdoor shot of the venue. Not one cares for 5-7 minutes of them selecting clubs, hitting golf balls and explaining the scoring system in depth . . . . If we care, we’d go ourselves to see it. And sorry but a grown man (though a momma’s boy per his mom) needs his future mother in law to meet with him to plan his honeymoon?? He really wants his mother in law to see pics of the resort and the room where he’s going to get it up? I know they did it to be able to get a 5 min discussion about AARP’s travel services, but Evan if you really need your mother in law + AARP to tell you that when certain resorts costs hundreds/night and others cost $12/night, that discrepancy suggests a scam – maybe stay in the country and do a simply honeymoon like Brandon/Michael in the Rocky Mountains or John/Alyssa in Tahoe or Bobby/Tori in frozen northern Cal. in December. I mean it’s just sex – it can be had anywhere – why fly to the Dominican Republic for it on your electrician apprentice salary??
  13. Last week’s snark: Agree with whoever said above that when it started I Love You day seemed like a sweet tradition – just a guaranteed day of family togetherness with a present for each kid from a sibling. Let’s be honest they were also tight on cash back then and with Thanksgiving and Christmas being back to back, between buying food for 2 huge meals + a present for each kid from mom/dad, there probably was no way they could even give each kid a few $ to buy a cheap sibling gift. So I bet it was “easier” to do that in February when there are less demands on a budget. Plus as the kids get married, it’s a holiday that they are guaranteed to spend with the Bates, whereas they all probably rotate Thanksgiving and Christmas with their inlaws. But with the marriages, starts the exclusion because no matter what the say, they are fundies. The purpose of life = marriage + babies. If God hasn’t “blessed you” in that regard, you WILL have it rubbed in your face by your supposedly very godly siblings and parents – I was blessed and you weren’t, haha (hypocrites much?). It’s the same way the Duggars all go on “dates” with 10 other siblings/inlaws but if you don’t have a beau, nope you’re not coming. After all if you’re Law or Nathan or Jana – you aren’t getting it on, what could you POSSIBLY talk to married people about, you should go color with the 5 year olds. Only in a fundie family would this ever work because they are indoctrinated this way and I think in their heart of hearts as they get to be aged 22+ (or 25+ for the guys) and aren’t married, they DO feel less than at some level. Bc in any other American family if your 15 siblings/inlaws were going to dinner, were the same age as you/grew up with you, but excluded you because you don’t have a husband or wife – you’d pretty much say eff you and call up a friend or two and hit up a bar or a movie and tell them to enjoy their lame dinner. And how does that work with the grandparents. Didn’t Meemaw (Kelly’s mother) only marry Tom within the last year or 2? I guess they had no problem telling grandma – sorry get a relationship and then you can come to dinner, it’s a couples only dinner, what would you even talk to us about if you’re not in a RELATIONSHIP!? It’s even lamer when the guys do the – marriage is the ONLY reason to live – BS. We’ve seen past episodes with Zach saying straight faced that the reason that Nathan isn’t married is because he drives recklessly (at a racing activity they were doing) and Chad giggled along like a school girl in agreement. And this time we see John saying – oh I couldn’t ski fast, I was the only married guy there, I have a wife and 3 daughters depending on me. We get it John – you’re a man because you’re doing it . . . . Sad but what else do these guys have to brag about. It’s not like normal guys their age who travel the world, are drs/lawyers/well educated men . . . . All they get to hold onto is – I get to have SEX. So I guess Purdue is now a sponsor. Because I really needed to see Carlin pulling out box after box of Purdue chicken with 10 min of gushing from Erin and Zach about the wonders of prepared chicken. And it’s really normal to have a meal consisting of chicken artichoke dip + chicken parm + chicken cutlets all in one meal . . . .
  14. So I guess there will be a Bates son’s wedding in under a year. Trace and Chaney just announced a courtship. Given that their “getting to know you” period has been 8 mos per the article, I’m guessing all they need is a 3-6 mos courtship and 3-6 mos of wedding planning, which lends itself nicely to a spring or summer 2020 wedding. Anyone know anything about her? Is she fundie too? How exactly did they meet? Trace has said they came across each other on a ski trip and the two families loved each other and here they are. But was this a fundie ski trip? Sure you can go skiing in Utah or Colorado or wherever and happen upon a cute girl and exchange numbers and long distance date. If you’re the love at first sight type, you can even have the families meet each other on the mountain bc you are certain you’re meeting your future inlaws. Yet the reality in the U.S in 2019 is that likely 90%+ of young people aren’t super religious and even if they are – once you tell them you can’t hold hands or kiss and need a formal “get to know you” period and btw in order to get a hot chocolate at the ski lodge, your 6 yr old sister needs to babysit you and btw before this progresses any further, there will be a formal “courtship” harkening back to the 1800s – most 21 yr olds would run away screaming . . . . So I’m not buying this – oh I ran into a cute girl at a ski lodge. Unless she really is a regular girl, and he is acting like a normal 22 yr old male -- kissing and holding hands, getting intimate, taking his future wife out to dinner without Jeb there babysitting him – mommy’s rules be damned . . . .
  15. They’ve said before that they won’t take on a mortgage and will only buy in cash. They had an episode once where they looked at “fixer uppers” in the country with land which Chad could fix (and were in their price range). Folks — we’re talking homes in the rural Tenn countryside that seem to have been abandoned 20-50 yrs ago; some looked like they should be condemned and I’m not sure how they withstand thunderstorm force winds. When it became clear to Princess Erin that this isn’t the type of home where you move in while your handyman husband redoes a bathroom or rips out wallpaper, she made some comment about how Chad would have to work fast as they will have bought the home while still paying for their rental. Chad — aging in dog years + feeling the financial pressure — made a non joking “joke” about how they could live with Gil and Kelly while he made a home habitable, hoping Princess Erin would say yes to ease the burden on him. Princess Erin who seems not to notice that her husband is the oldest 32 yr old ever shot that down in a millisecond and basically insinuated that he he’d have to figure out how to make the purchase + rental + reno work. Alas they find themselves in a 2 bed with 4 kids with at least one on a pullout on the floor . . . .
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