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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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7 minutes ago, absnow54 said:

I love that usually those types of questions directed at a Duggar is to see if they’re knocked up, but for Jill, it’s to check is she’s getting sauced. 

i love that Jill actually answers the questions - go jill!

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On 9/7/2020 at 11:34 PM, Oldernowiser said:

So THIS is why they’ve both looked so relaxed lately? What’s next? Is pot legal in Arkansas?

I’d pay money for footage of a stoned giggling Derrick.

Is Derrick still in law school?  Most people that I knew in law school drank alcohol ...even religious Southern Baptists.  It’s very stressful. You are also very busy.  And it continues after law school.  I realize I’m generalizing, but most attorneys that I know drink alcohol on a regular basis.  Maybe, it’s regional. I’m in the southeast. 

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Seeing Jill evolve (heh) is just confirming my long held opinion of the Duggars that they didn't, in fact raise 19 perfectly Godly and obedient children because they are the awesomest of Gothard parents (again heh), but because the kiddults are trapped by the show and the dough. Sure, there are some (Joe and Anna at least) who are true believers, but I suspect a lot of them would be living a more moderate, though likey conservative, life if they had a. the money and b. the skills to make it outside the compound.

PS. I didn't add Jeremy (and Jinger?) to the true believers list because I think Jer is doing the same as the Duggar kids except he's sucking up to McCarthur et al instead of Jim Bob. 

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On 9/10/2020 at 8:49 AM, Snow Fairy said:

Well Jesus did turn water into wine, so I think he wasn't opposed to alcohol and drinking either

 A lot of fundies (and even some garden variety Baptists/evangelicals) say that isn't proof of anything,  because either

1. It was grape juice, not having had time to ferment 

or

2. Alcohol in those days was a necessity because of their lack of access to clean water, and is not true for us today

I'm not in agreement with either of these views (and I've been enjoying a glass of wine after remote learning all day, believe me), but they're fairly common beliefs in some circles. The same people who insist that every word in the Bible is to be taken literally twist themselves into knots to defend their teetotaling stance. Jill drinking shouldn't be a big deal, but this is a huge departure from her upbringing.

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On 9/10/2020 at 8:13 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

Is Derrick still in law school?  Most people that I knew in law school drank alcohol ...even religious Southern Baptists.  It’s very stressful. You are also very busy.  And it continues after law school.  I realize I’m generalizing, but most attorneys that I know drink alcohol on a regular basis.  Maybe, it’s regional. I’m in the southeast. 

You're not wrong. Attorneys have up to 10x the substance abuse problems than regular society. 

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I've mentioned on here before that the U of A has a reputation as a party school. I can't speak to the law school itself, but it's a hard place to be a teetotaler in general. Parts of the campus are actually on Dickson Street, which is Fayetteville's version of Bourbon Street. Though Dickson Street smells a lot less like piss and vomit than Bourbon Street did when I visited there. 

In any event, I'm sure a big part of socializing for his law school classmates involves drinking together or going to a bar. If Jill has attended any events with him, maybe it helped make alcohol seem less like a bogeyman to her. 

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I mean, yes, that thing about clean drinking water not being a thing and everybody drank at least a little watered wine every day is true.  However, drinking a little is fine, even for Baptists as long as we don't get drunk all the time.  I will worry when Jill starts gambling.

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4 hours ago, ouinason said:

I mean, yes, that thing about clean drinking water not being a thing and everybody drank at least a little watered wine every day is true.  However, drinking a little is fine, even for Baptists as long as we don't get drunk all the time.  I will worry when Jill starts gambling.

Well according to the Baptists, she's had a drink and she's listened to music with a beat.  I guess dancing and gambling are the last two activities before sliding into Sin City.

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Not all Baptists are living in Footloose.  We listen to music all the time, even secular music. GASP!  My pastor Father In Law had a serious Lady Antebellum (I don't know what they have changed their name to) thing several years back that was deeply annoying.

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2 hours ago, ouinason said:

 Lady Antebellum (I don't know what they have changed their name to)

Considering the ongoing lawsuit, I'm not convinced they even know what the name is anymore. 🤣

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4 hours ago, ouinason said:

Not all Baptists are living in Footloose.  We listen to music all the time, even secular music. GASP!  My pastor Father In Law had a serious Lady Antebellum (I don't know what they have changed their name to) thing several years back that was deeply annoying.

Lady A but there is a lawsuit for that name. Maybe they will become Lady Bellum or Lady Bella.

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29 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

An oldie, but I had never seen this one before:

l71nujpfy3n51.jpg

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Ugh! The tee shirt with the pit stains!  I think the photo is meant to tell us he wore it daily for 351 months which is why it looks so awful.

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After I saw a mention on tumblr, I checked out Jill's instagram stories and apparently, they watched Hamilton. And...look, I know that kind of thing is seen as this huge sign of progress and "ooh! they can learn from this!" But I'm supremely annoyed to see Derick's homophobic ass doing the King George shoulder dance and talking about having that song stuck in their heads, considering the actor who played KG is gay, and the musical was written by a man who's Tony's speech was in support of gay marriage, and that Broadway and musical theater in general is full of gay artists. Just...ugh, I hate these people.

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11 hours ago, ouinason said:

I doubt every movie or show that they watch is researched for the actor/director/producer's political stances and beliefs.  I thought the idea was that we were happy that Jill WASN'T doing that stuff.

I, for one, have never claimed happiness for Jill other than the petty joy I get from knowing that it must be pissing off Michelle and JB. My point is that Jill and Derick are virulent homophobes and it burns me that they're seeking out entertainment from people they'd happily see suffer, all the while getting praised for "breaking free."

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2 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I, for one, have never claimed happiness for Jill other than the petty joy I get from knowing that it must be pissing off Michelle and JB. My point is that Jill and Derick are virulent homophobes and it burns me that they're seeking out entertainment from people they'd happily see suffer, all the while getting praised for "breaking free."

Yup. As long as Jill is married to Derick, and Derick continues with his hate filled beliefs, the only thing she broke from (really pulled/pushed from) was her family and Gothardism.

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Re Hamilton: This is the first time ever that a Duggar and I have shared the same media interest. I think I need to go lie down. 

 

Seriously though. This and the drinking thing have thrown me for a loop. The swearing? The adultery? The (for the most part except for a few lines in It's Quiet Uptown) lack of religiosity? A woman raised to believe any music with a beat is automatically sinful even sitting through a hip hop opera? Lin Manuel Miranda's outspoken support of immigration and LGBTQ+? I never would have expected this at all. 

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Derelict is merely reverting back to how he was raised. He apparently decided that courting Boob, Mike Schadt, etc. wasn't worth the effort. When in the States, he always attended Cross Church, but when they returned after their missioncation, they went full bore SBC. 

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14 hours ago, magpye29 said:

They removed two but left one in.

I get that Jill and Derick doing these things does not mean that they have given up their hateful beliefs, but that's missing the point. How are they going to change their hateful beliefs without being exposed to other experiences and people? They've got to start somewhere, and Jill, at least, has a lot to overcome. And she's doing great.

Exposure to different forms of media doesn't do a whole lot to actually change hateful beliefs. People are really good at missing the point of the media they consume when it contradicts their beliefs, if they find it entertaining enough. Look at The Colbert Report and the fans that the show was satirizing, for one. Look at the certain political figure who went to see Hamilton--the musical with the line "Immigrants! We get the job done"--on Broadway and was famously booed by the audience, prompting cast members to make a statement on stage about their support for immigration.

I don't know what causes bigots to change. Frankly, I don't think enough of them ever truly do to bother trying to guess. But if it is truly possible, it's not popular media that does it. The realistic "best" case scenario for any of the Duggar children is that they get less extreme in their day to day lives and blend in with the general public. If the rare miracle were to happen and any of them actually change their core beliefs--not just about the self-serving stuff like alcohol and clothes, but the important stuff about humanity and rights--then I'll be "Yay Jill!"ing along with everyone else (while still judging her for her past if she doesn't to some public self-flagellating, because I don't believe in blind forgiveness). But I don't have it in me to celebrate any changes along the way; I can't assume it must mean the important changes are coming. I understand why other do, but I'm not built that way.

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I watched their YouTube video. Comments turned off. Jill cannot make a sentence. Yeah, like, um interspersed with word salad. Maybe in real life she can speak coherently. If I didn’t know anything about Derick I would think he was a nice enough fellow. He can speak. 

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Of her comments in the People article, I am most intrigued by her comments about her siblings:

Quote

“I know my parents would not be happy with it, and I know that my siblings, some more than others, would probably have an issue with it. Other ones would probably be like, 'Whatever's good for y’all, that's fine. Live your life.' So far nobody's said anything to us about it.”

I wonder which siblings she's thinking of as the most chill. 

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3 minutes ago, Zella said:

Of her comments in the People article, I am most intrigued by her comments about her siblings:

I wonder which siblings she's thinking of as the most chill. 

Maybe her buddies?   Josiah and Lauren since they wanted her to help with their baby's  birth?  

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4 minutes ago, Zella said:

Of her comments in the People article, I am most intrigued by her comments about her siblings:

I wonder which siblings she's thinking of as the most chill. 

I was wondering the same thing. Also wondering if the "Whatever's good for y’all, that's fine. Live your life.", means, no biggie, it is her life, but I still love her, or good for Jill, living life on her own terms.

I'm guessing Jana, Jinger, Joe and Joy have no problem at all with it. Jessa secretly condemns her for it. The rest probably totally and outwardly disapprove.

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1 hour ago, lascuba said:

Exposure to different forms of media doesn't do a whole lot to actually change hateful beliefs. People are really good at missing the point of the media they consume when it contradicts their beliefs, if they find it entertaining enough. Look at The Colbert Report and the fans that the show was satirizing, for one. Look at the certain political figure who went to see Hamilton--the musical with the line "Immigrants! We get the job done"--on Broadway and was famously booed by the audience, prompting cast members to make a statement on stage about their support for immigration.

I don't know what causes bigots to change. Frankly, I don't think enough of them ever truly do to bother trying to guess. But if it is truly possible, it's not popular media that does it. The realistic "best" case scenario for any of the Duggar children is that they get less extreme in their day to day lives and blend in with the general public. If the rare miracle were to happen and any of them actually change their core beliefs--not just about the self-serving stuff like alcohol and clothes, but the important stuff about humanity and rights--then I'll be "Yay Jill!"ing along with everyone else (while still judging her for her past if she doesn't to some public self-flagellating, because I don't believe in blind forgiveness). But I don't have it in me to celebrate any changes along the way; I can't assume it must mean the important changes are coming. I understand why other do, but I'm not built that way.

I'd "like" this a thousand times if I could.  Jill is getting lots of praise for the changes we can see, but there is absolutely nothing to indicate that she and Derick have changed any of their odious bigoted beliefs.  I would need them to say definitively that they were wrong and are sorry for their previous ugly beliefs.

Realistically, I think it is rare that core beliefs change.  Some people evolve slowly and slightly modify their attitudes, but I doubt that many people make a dramatic change of beliefs, whatever they may be.

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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I was wondering the same thing. Also wondering if the "Whatever's good for y’all, that's fine. Live your life.", means, no biggie, it is her life, but I still love her, or good for Jill, living life on her own terms.

I'm guessing Jana, Jinger, Joe and Joy have no problem at all with it. Jessa secretly condemns her for it. The rest probably totally and outwardly disapprove.

I could see Joy having a blasé attitude about it since she seems to go with the flow.  Josiah would probably be supportive either way.  Joe would probably object, but be polite about it, although Jill wouldn’t be allowed to drink around him. Jinger probably doesn’t really have an opinion, but RFP does so she has to object as well. Most likely RFP will have made his view known. Jessa has more than likely outwardly condemned the drinking while being secretly jealous because she didn’t think of it first, and is too chicken shit to step out of her comfort zone. Jed! is so a teetotaler it’s not even funny while Sinner Twin just wants Jill to slip him a sip of whatever she’s having. 

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