The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie

[BitterApple]

I wonder if Jinger's post has anything to do with the law they passed in New York recently. Erin Bates made a (misinformed) mention about it under a picture of the cherubic Everly, lamenting how she wishes women would give her all the babies "they couldn't raise." Could be coincidence, but the timing is interesting.

Edited January 29, 2019 by BitterApple
Misquoted

[drafan]

I think she is shocked that the baby is 6 months old and she's still interested in her. Her "role model" was on to the next pregnancy by this point and passed the baby off to one of the slaves. She's surprised that she's still feeling motherly love for the baby. She didn't know it was possible.

 

On 1/27/2019 at 7:18 PM, GeeGolly said:

Jinger holding Felicity in the air near water, saying "God entrusted" her, reminds me of the Hoveround commercials at the Grand Canyon.

Or Michael Jackson dangling Blanket from a balcony.

[RedheadZombie]

10 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I wonder if Jinger's post has anything to do with the law they passed in New York recently. Erin Bates made a (misinformed) mention about it under a picture of the cherubic Everly, lamenting how she wishes women would give her all the babies "they don't want to raise." Could be coincidence, but the timing is interesting.

If not for the trauma it would cause the children, what a delight it would be for these babies to start arriving on the Paine's doorstep.  Here you go, Erin!  Aren't babies such a blessing!

[FakeJoshDuggar]

On 1/27/2019 at 6:44 PM, Future Cat Lady said:

Full disclosure, I'm an atheist.

Those God gave me a baby posts annoy me.

God didn't gave you a baby Jinger. You had sex with a guy and you are both fertile. If you had taken biology in school, you would know that.

I’ve said for over half my life that “God” doesn’t give a baby to anyone. Cockroaches reproduce for heaven’s sake. 

[PikaScrewChu]

On 1/27/2019 at 11:17 PM, madpsych78 said:

So, I've been thinking...

I believe that Jinger is on track to become the smuggest, most proselytizing Duggar daughter. When it was 19K&C, and everyone was single, I thought that title would go to either Jill or Jessa. Not so much now. If you compare the most recent Instagram posts, Jinger is invoking God's name more than anyone else, with Jana probably second. Not to mention that there seem to be emerging differentials in SES, even aside from the show. Jinger/Jeremy appear to be at a higher SES level than Jill, Jessa, or Joy, and that may be reinforcing their belief that God favors them.

Baaaaaaabe is also a bit more pretentious than Dullard, Bin-Bob, or Austin. I'm doubtful Jinger is writing most of these preachy posts after her "Jeremy loves books. I love books" post.

This is how I imagine the creation of that IG post...

Jinger: "I love being her mama"... Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe, what's another word for lots of love?

Jeremy: "Overflowing with joy?"

Jinger: "Baaaaaaaaaabe. How do you spell overflowing?"

Jeremy: "O-V-E-..."

Jinger: "Slow down"

Jeremy: "Just give me the phone."

Jinger: "Ok, that post sounds good. Let me add something about God."

End scene.

[Snow Fairy]

Jinger has an Instastory about organizing things in her home (cupboard, clothes), and it shows how much headbands Felicity has. 

I can't put screenshots...

[Adeejay]

18 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I wonder if Jinger's post has anything to do with the law they passed in New York recently. Erin Bates made a (misinformed) mention about it under a picture of the cherubic Everly, lamenting how she wishes women would give her all the babies "they couldn't raise." Could be coincidence, but the timing is interesting.

If Jinger was the one who said that, people would be calling for her head.  Wonder why Erin gets a pass.

[BitterApple]

2 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

If Jinger was the one who said that, people would be calling for her head.  Wonder why Erin gets a pass.

She likely didn't because she turned off the comments for that particular post.

[madpsych78]

To be fair, I didn't know Erin said that.

[Lunera]

8 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

If Jinger was the one who said that, people would be calling for her head.  Wonder why Erin gets a pass.

I don't think she got a pass. Just checked out the post and she disabled the comments. Jinger's post with Felicity was definitely a pro-birth message, it sounds very similar to Erin's. 

Erin is a ditz, her parents had more kids than they could afford to raise. They didn't start living the good life until TV money came along, or else Lawson would still be supporting all of them. I wonder what she would do if people started offering her babies. She already has 3 kids crammed into a tiny room.

Edited January 29, 2019 by Lunera

[libgirl2]

20 minutes ago, Lunera said:

I don't think she got a pass. Just checked out the post and she disabled the comments. Jinger's post with Felicity was definitely a pro-birth message, it sounds very similar to Erin's. 

Erin is a ditz, her parents had more kids than they could afford to raise. They didn't start living the good life until TV money came along, or else Lawson would still be supporting all of them. I wonder what she would do if people started offering her babies. She already has 3 kids crammed into a tiny room.

Not take them? 

[Lunera]

30 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Not take them? 

Yup,  it's all talk. If she started getting offers from pregnant teens she would turn them down, no way would her husband accept that. He's already working his ass off for her.

[GeeGolly]

Talk about arrested development, Erin originally decorated her and Chad's bedroom in what might be called a 7 year old girly-girl dream bedroom. Her statement sounds like something a 13 year old might say. Or a sheltered super Fundy.

[BitterApple]

I think Jinger genuinely enjoys being a mother, but she has no reason not to. Neither she nor her husband really work. They travel all the time. Their house is small and newly refurbished, so there's not a ton of upkeep. Felicity seems well-mannered and Jinger's in a position where she can see her family as little or as often as she wants to. 

None of the Duggars have any of the stressors normal adults experience which tend to chip away at our enthusiasm for life. Reality won't hit until the show money is gone. 

[leighdear]

A statement like that by Erin can be taken about as seriously as Jessa blathering about adopting children, yet jutting out her 3-time pregnant belly for yet another smug selfie.  

I don't believe every couple from this show is blowing every dime they make in compensation from TLC, and are all teetering on the edge of homelessness, welfare or begging in the streets.   And of course, they get subsidized by Duggar, Inc.  But a few moderate investments, and the money won't necessarily run out at all.   Jinger & Jeremy bought a house, so they've started in a normal way.  Keeping Felicity in headbands isn't going to break them. 

Buying property and businesses like Michelle & Jim Bob have is pretty savvy.  They are loathsome and ignorant, but I think they are far from stupid financially.  They've shown their kids what can be accomplished.  

Edited January 29, 2019 by leighdear

[ChiCricket]

8 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

Jinger has an Instastory about organizing things in her home (cupboard, clothes), and it shows how much headbands Felicity has. 

I can't put screenshots...

I actually think the clothes pin thing is a great (cheap) idea. I might have to make something like this for the eleventy-billion baseball caps my husband has.

[allonsyalice]

that is a GREAT idea! i live in a tiny apartment and need stuff like this for my winter gear! 

13 assorted hats and headbands seems like so little since felicity is constantly wearing them (i guess it's like Audrey Hepburn owning one skirt, one blouse, one pair of shoes and FIFTEEN scarves!)  

[BitterApple]

That's actually a really cute idea. 

Jana's going to lose her shit if Jinger turns out to have a talent for DIY and crafts. That was her only ace in the hole.

[lascuba]

Jinger jumped on the home-organizing bandwagon, I see. If anyone has any doubt about the meaning of "basic," look no further. 

2 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

That's actually a really cute idea. 

Jana's going to lose her shit if Jinger turns out to have a talent for DIY and crafts. That was her only ace in the hole.

Well, they all recycle ideas from the same sources. 

[BitterApple]

2 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Jinger jumped on the home-organizing bandwagon, I see. If anyone has any doubt about the meaning of "basic," look no further. 

Well, they all recycle ideas from the same sources. 

The Konmari Method is the rage among YouTubers and "influencers" these days. It wouldn't surprise me if Jingle's jumping on the bandwagon.

[lascuba]

1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

The Konmari Method is the rage among YouTubers and "influencers" these days. It wouldn't surprise me if Jingle's jumping on the bandwagon.

Has she mentioned Konmari at all? I ask because a lot of Kondo's philosophy and methods come directly from Shinto, and I'm amused at the idea of someone telling Jinger this and her scrambling to deny that she's been at all inspired by a religion that she and her family would disapprove.

[Zella]

She probably saw it on Pinterest and copied it, not having the slightest idea what it was connected to. 

[Ohiopirate02]

41 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Has she mentioned Konmari at all? I ask because a lot of Kondo's philosophy and methods come directly from Shinto, and I'm amused at the idea of someone telling Jinger this and her scrambling to deny that she's been at all inspired by a religion that she and her family would disapprove.

I can't see any if JB's spawn thanking an item before tossing it.   Not to mention none of the girls have lived outside the home long enough to accumulate stuff.  They grew up with a communal closet how much could Jinger have brought to Texas?

[EmeraldGirl]

Eh, I don’t see what’s wrong with Jingle thanking god for her baby. I’ve thanked god for a lot less, and I don’t even know if I believe in god. 

[ChiCricket]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

The Konmari Method is the rage among YouTubers and "influencers" these days. It wouldn't surprise me if Jingle's jumping on the bandwagon.

   I found out about Konmari years ago from my daughter. She used it to downsize from a two story house to a three bedroom/two bath sailing catamaran her family moved onto.Some of it is kind of silly (thanking the stuff you're giving away) but it really helped her to downsize and organize.

  Doesn't JB have all kinds of crap stored everywhere? Maybe Jinger didn't want to be like that.

Edited January 30, 2019 by ChiCricket

[lascuba]

13 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

   I found out about Konmari years ago from my daughter. She used it to downsize from a two story house to a three bedroom/two bath sailing catamaran her family moved onto.Some of it is kind of silly (thanking the stuff you're giving away) but it really helped her to downsize and organize.

  Doesn't JB have all kinds of crap stored everywhere? Maybe Jinger didn't want to be like that.

I really don't think she (or any youtuber/'influencer") give this kind of thing that much thought. She just sees that something is in style on social media and copies it so she can post about it. So if she has mentioned Konmari, it's not because she read the book (as if) or watched the show, it's because that what everyone is talking about and she got some of the basics from sm and is running with it. That's why I like the idea of people telling her that she's copying something from someone with what she would consider pagan/heathen beliefs. She'd freak out about it.

[cmr2014]

5 hours ago, allonsyalice said:

that is a GREAT idea! i live in a tiny apartment and need stuff like this for my winter gear! 

13 assorted hats and headbands seems like so little since felicity is constantly wearing them (i guess it's like Audrey Hepburn owning one skirt, one blouse, one pair of shoes and FIFTEEN scarves!)  

I think that she has hung up 13 headbands because that's how many clothespins she has, not because that's how many headbands she has. I would imagine that Felicity has 2x or 3x that many headbands.

[sleepysuzy]

Jinger never mentioned Konmari, did she? She just organized some headbands in a cutesy DYI way. The nursery teachers at daycare had a similar set up for the kids daily reports. Jinger didn't even say anything about getting rid of stuff. 

[OpieTaylor]

48 minutes ago, sleepysuzy said:

Jinger never mentioned Konmari, did she? She just organized some headbands in a cutesy DYI way. The nursery teachers at daycare had a similar set up for the kids daily reports. Jinger didn't even say anything about getting rid of stuff. 

She did mention Konmari though - referenced it in this particular instagram story. And it was more than the headbands; she folded and stacked Felicity’s clothes and boxed and labeled outgrown clothes, etc. Sierra recently did several Instagram stories about her “adventures” with Konmari - maybe that’s where Jinger learned of it.

[lookeyloo]

I don’t think one has to be an influencer or anybody special to pick and choose parts of Marie Kondo’s approach and I’m guessing Jinger didn’t either. I watched the shows, found some other videos on You Tube and refolded everything in my dresser and Mr lookeyloo’s closet. I also reorganized my closet. No thanking and no thought to Shintoism. Just folding. By the way it doesn’t take long and everything is visible and takes up way less room which is perplexing to me. 

[lascuba]

18 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I don’t think one has to be an influencer or anybody special to pick and choose parts of Marie Kondo’s approach and I’m guessing Jinger didn’t either. I watched the shows, found some other videos on You Tube and refolded everything in my dresser and Mr lookeyloo’s closet. I also reorganized my closet. No thanking and no thought to Shintoism. Just folding. By the way it doesn’t take long and everything is visible and takes up way less room which is perplexing to me. 

That folding technique is amazing and I sure as hell am not thanking inanimate objects, but fundies are not known for being relaxed about choosing from belief systems that run counter to their own. They won't even mention yoga, something that has become so mainstream in the US that it's practically completely divorced from Hinduism. If Jinger knew about Shintoism and how some of it's practices amount to idolatry in her interpretation of Christianity, she would have never mentioned Konmari and just pretended that she was just doing some run-of-the-mill organizing without any inspiration.

[sleepysuzy]

2 hours ago, OpieTaylor said:

She did mention Konmari though - referenced it in this particular instagram story. And it was more than the headbands; she folded and stacked Felicity’s clothes and boxed and labeled outgrown clothes, etc. Sierra recently did several Instagram stories about her “adventures” with Konmari - maybe that’s where Jinger learned of it.

Ah, ok. I'm not on IG and I thought the picture above was the whole story. Is boxing and labeling outgrown clothes really seen as part of this "movement". I've been doing that for ages and only recently heard of Konmari through other people talking about the Netflix show. How else do you keep track of clothes you are saving for hand-me-downs? 

Jimger, Jana, and Lauren all come across on SM as being organized and on-trend. 

[DangerousMinds]

I would be more impressed if I thought Jinger actually did read the book. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Ref: Jinger's post about how blessed she is to have Felicity, etc. 

I'm sure she does adore Felicity and does feel blessed to have her.  I feel beyond lucky to have my kids - I'm not religious, so I'd say lucky rather than blessed.  I mean it as I'm lucky to have my kids as my kids, because I'm so in love with (99% of) their little personalities, etc, not because I feel like it means I got lucky because I had kids and some people don't have kids. I also felt lucky in different ways when I didn't have kids yet (more extra income, more free time, more traveling, etc). It's not to mean I'm favored or anything because I have kids, I guess.  I feel lucky to have my little stinkers as my kids because I do adore them, even though they're a ton of work and require a lot of sacrifice and truthfully, make life harder in so many ways. Felicity is at that stage where she's showing personality and more than a potato....this is the stage where you really get to know your baby as a person more and more....I think that may be what Jinger is kind of trying to express (poorly, because Fundie speak).

I also always think whenever moms go on & on in social media posts about how awesome being a mom is....that it's often not their followers they're trying to convince, but themselves.  Society tells women they should love being moms.  Society tells women they should adore their babies more than anything.  Society tells women that being a mom (especially to a baby) is so awesome all of the time and such a blessing- no one complains because it's so awesome! It's really not acceptable in society to complain about parenthood until maybe your kid is a teenager. Something is wrong with you if you complain or mention that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies 24/7 when you have a small child/baby. Jinger was raised with this narrative about motherhood times a million thanks to Gothard/Fundamentalism/etc.  She has to feel that "perfect mom who loves being a mom because it's 24/7 the best thing ever!" pressure even more than the rest of us in society do.  I really feel for her and other women in Fundamentalism for that, because the pressure is immense and suffocating even for those of us in secular soceity.

So...I just keep that in mind whenever I see moms posting a lot about how much they love being moms and how "blessed" they are by their kids.  I know (as all parents do) that being a parent is f***ing tough.  These moms may not be "bragging" or trying to sell you on motherhood as much as they're trying to sell themselves the idea that they, too, are "normal" women who of course love being a mom all of the time.  

It's especially tough to be a parent if you don't have sisters and grandparents (or daughters who can sister-mom) around all of the time to pass you babies off on (and Jinger, unlike many of the other Duggar kids who have babies and live in Arkansas, doesn't have this). Most of the time she (and Jeremy) are parenting alone (yes, they don't really work and all....but this is still way more active parenting and "work" than Jinger ever saw Michelle do with her babies). My guess is Jinger has figured out like all of us first time parents that being a parent is hard as f*** and she may be talking to herself in these posts (in the "Fundie speak" language she's fluent in) as much as she's talking to others.  I don't think she means any offense necessarily to those who don't or can't have kids as much as she may just be convincng herself of how awesome her own life choices are.  How dare one complain about such a kind blessing from God and all, right?  She may, at times, need to convince herself of that, since complaining about motherhood is taboo. 

A wise therapist once told me that when people seem to be making things about you not being where they are in life, that's actually really about them and their struggle with where they are in life. I read all these "motherhood is amazing and I have no complaints because I am so blessed!" etc posts (from Jinger and from basically every mom I'm friends with on social media who does this) that way....because as a mom, I know better. I see you, moms.  I know it ain't all perfect and I know you're talking to yourselves a lot of the time. ;) 

I think Jinger is truly in love with and in awe of Felicity, like a lot of new moms are (especially first-time moms), which doesn't also negate that she is probably trying to convince herself it's the best thing ever when it's also the hardest damn thing ever.   I hope maybe she sees that if she doesn't have eleventy blessings, she can know and spend time with Felicity and any (small number) of subsequent children and get to enjoy them more than she could with double digit blessings.  Maybe Jinger's adoration for Felicity as a little person with her own personality will slow down the baby train for the Duggalos. (And hopefully Jeremy will show some common sense as he has in some other areas - buying a house, living away from JB, being cool with pants for women, being okay with an alcoholic beverage once in a while, etc - and also slow down the baby train.) I'd also assume that not having Jana and other Duggars to drop the kids on down the street/a short car ride away will also slow the baby train down.  Plus, whenever the number of kids start costing more to feed/clothe/care for than what Jeremy needs for his clothing, hair products, shoes, etc, I'm sure the baby train will come to a hault. 

(I haven't said this eloquently, so I hope it all makes sense.)

Edited January 30, 2019 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[lucy711]

4 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Ref: Jinger's post about how blessed she is to have Felicity, etc. 

I'm sure she does adore Felicity and does feel blessed to have her.  I feel beyond lucky to have my kids - I'm not religious, so I'd say lucky rather than blessed.  I mean it as I'm lucky to have my kids as my kids, because I'm so in love with (99% of) their little personalities, etc, not because I feel like it means I got lucky because I had kids and some people don't have kids. I also felt lucky in different ways when I didn't have kids yet (more extra income, more free time, more traveling, etc). It's not to mean I'm favored or anything because I have kids, I guess.  I feel lucky to have my little stinkers as my kids because I do adore them, even though they're a ton of work and require a lot of sacrifice and truthfully, make life harder in so many ways. Felicity is at that stage where she's showing personality and more than a potato....this is the stage where you really get to know your baby as a person more and more....I think that may be what Jinger is kind of trying to express (poorly, because Fundie speak).

I also always think whenever moms go on & on in social media posts about how awesome being a mom is....that it's often not their followers they're trying to convince, but themselves.  Society tells women they should love being moms.  Society tells women they should adore their babies more than anything.  Society tells women that being a mom (especially to a baby) is so awesome all of the time and such a blessing- no one complains because it's so awesome! It's really not acceptable in society to complain about parenthood until maybe your kid is a teenager. Something is wrong with you if you complain or mention that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies 24/7 when you have a small child/baby. Jinger was raised with this narrative about motherhood times a million thanks to Gothard/Fundamentalism/etc.  She has to feel that "perfect mom who loves being a mom because it's 24/7 the best thing ever!" pressure even more than the rest of us in society do.  I really feel for her and other women in Fundamentalism for that, because the pressure is immense and suffocating even for those of us in secular soceity.

So...I just keep that in mind whenever I see moms posting a lot about how much they love being moms and how "blessed" they are by their kids.  I know (as all parents do) that being a parent is f***ing tough.  These moms may not be "bragging" or trying to sell you on motherhood as much as they're trying to sell themselves the idea that they, too, are "normal" women who of course love being a mom all of the time.  

It's especially tough to be a parent if you don't have sisters and grandparents (or daughters who can sister-mom) around all of the time to pass you babies off on (and Jinger, unlike many of the other Duggar kids who have babies and live in Arkansas, doesn't have this). Most of the time she (and Jeremy) are parenting alone (yes, they don't really work and all....but this is still way more active parenting and "work" than Jinger ever saw Michelle do with her babies). My guess is Jinger has figured out like all of us first time parents that being a parent is hard as f*** and she may be talking to herself in these posts (in the "Fundie speak" language she's fluent in) as much as she's talking to others.  I don't think she means any offense necessarily to those who don't or can't have kids as much as she may just be convincng herself of how awesome her own life choices are.  How dare one complain about such a kind blessing from God and all, right?  She may, at times, need to convince herself of that, since complaining about motherhood is taboo. 

A wise therapist once told me that when people seem to be making things about you not being where they are in life, that's actually really about them and their struggle with where they are in life. I read all these "motherhood is amazing and I have no complaints because I am so blessed!" etc posts (from Jinger and from basically every mom I'm friends with on social media who does this) that way....because as a mom, I know better. I see you, moms.  I know it ain't all perfect and I know you're talking to yourselves a lot of the time. ;) 

I think Jinger is truly in love with and in awe of Felicity, like a lot of new moms are (especially first-time moms), which doesn't also negate that she is probably trying to convince herself it's the best thing ever when it's also the hardest damn thing ever.   I hope maybe she sees that if she doesn't have eleventy blessings, she can know and spend time with Felicity and any (small number) of subsequent children and get to enjoy them more than she could with double digit blessings.  Maybe Jinger's adoration for Felicity as a little person with her own personality will slow down the baby train for the Duggalos. (And hopefully Jeremy will show some common sense as he has in some other areas - buying a house, living away from JB, being cool with pants for women, being okay with an alcoholic beverage once in a while, etc - and also slow down the baby train.) I'd also assume that not having Jana and other Duggars to drop the kids on down the street/a short car ride away will also slow the baby train down.  Plus, whenever the number of kids start costing more to feed/clothe/care for than what Jeremy needs for his clothing, hair products, shoes, etc, I'm sure the baby train will come to a hault. 

(I haven't said this eloquently, so I hope it all makes sense.)

 

I don't disagree with everything you said.  I do think a lot of people post things like this to convince themselves that they are super happy because that is what society expects.  However, she might honestly believe that.  I don't want to sound corny, but motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me, period.  I had a full life prior to the birth of my son, but I have become a better person and enjoyed life so much more since his birth.  Yeah, parenthood is hard, but I expected that going in.  No one should have children and not expect (many) difficulties.  I have to believe that there are other women out there like me who are being true to how they feel.

Now would Jinger feel this way if she had the opportunity to pursue an education or career prior to being a mother?  That's another story.  But I had all these opportunities given to the modern American woman and even though motherhood isn't perfect, it's the closet thing to perfection that I have found.  I'm willing to admit I may be a rare breed, but we do exist.

Edited January 31, 2019 by lucy711

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

I don't disagree with everything you said.  I do think a lot of people post things like this to convince themselves that they are super happy because that is what society expects.  However, she might honestly believe that.  I don't want to sound corny, but motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me, period.  I had a full life prior to the birth of my son, but I have become a better person and enjoyed life so much more since his birth.  Yeah, parenthood is hard, but I expected that going in.  No one should have children and not expect (many) difficulties.  I have to believe that there are other women out there like me who are being true to how they feel.

Now would Jinger feel this way if she had the opportunity to pursue an education or career prior to being a mother?  That's another story.  But I had all these opportunities given to the modern American woman and even though motherhood isn't perfect, it's the closet thing to perfection that I have found.  I'm willing to admit I may be a rare breed, but we do exist.

I loved (and still love) every minute of motherhood while simultaneously hating quite a few moments. Definitely my most favorite 'job' and the hardest job. I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have posted on SM my undying love for my kids, if the interwebz existed back then. I would have been more likely to post the funny moments or major mom fails.

I'm guessing Jinger loves Felicity to the moon and back as most parents do. 

[madpsych78]

7 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Ref: Jinger's post about how blessed she is to have Felicity, etc. 

I'm sure she does adore Felicity and does feel blessed to have her.  I feel beyond lucky to have my kids - I'm not religious, so I'd say lucky rather than blessed.  I mean it as I'm lucky to have my kids as my kids, because I'm so in love with (99% of) their little personalities, etc, not because I feel like it means I got lucky because I had kids and some people don't have kids. I also felt lucky in different ways when I didn't have kids yet (more extra income, more free time, more traveling, etc). It's not to mean I'm favored or anything because I have kids, I guess.  I feel lucky to have my little stinkers as my kids because I do adore them, even though they're a ton of work and require a lot of sacrifice and truthfully, make life harder in so many ways. Felicity is at that stage where she's showing personality and more than a potato....this is the stage where you really get to know your baby as a person more and more....I think that may be what Jinger is kind of trying to express (poorly, because Fundie speak).

I also always think whenever moms go on & on in social media posts about how awesome being a mom is....that it's often not their followers they're trying to convince, but themselves.  Society tells women they should love being moms.  Society tells women they should adore their babies more than anything.  Society tells women that being a mom (especially to a baby) is so awesome all of the time and such a blessing- no one complains because it's so awesome! It's really not acceptable in society to complain about parenthood until maybe your kid is a teenager. Something is wrong with you if you complain or mention that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies 24/7 when you have a small child/baby. Jinger was raised with this narrative about motherhood times a million thanks to Gothard/Fundamentalism/etc.  She has to feel that "perfect mom who loves being a mom because it's 24/7 the best thing ever!" pressure even more than the rest of us in society do.  I really feel for her and other women in Fundamentalism for that, because the pressure is immense and suffocating even for those of us in secular soceity.

So...I just keep that in mind whenever I see moms posting a lot about how much they love being moms and how "blessed" they are by their kids.  I know (as all parents do) that being a parent is f***ing tough.  These moms may not be "bragging" or trying to sell you on motherhood as much as they're trying to sell themselves the idea that they, too, are "normal" women who of course love being a mom all of the time.  

It's especially tough to be a parent if you don't have sisters and grandparents (or daughters who can sister-mom) around all of the time to pass you babies off on (and Jinger, unlike many of the other Duggar kids who have babies and live in Arkansas, doesn't have this). Most of the time she (and Jeremy) are parenting alone (yes, they don't really work and all....but this is still way more active parenting and "work" than Jinger ever saw Michelle do with her babies). My guess is Jinger has figured out like all of us first time parents that being a parent is hard as f*** and she may be talking to herself in these posts (in the "Fundie speak" language she's fluent in) as much as she's talking to others.  I don't think she means any offense necessarily to those who don't or can't have kids as much as she may just be convincng herself of how awesome her own life choices are.  How dare one complain about such a kind blessing from God and all, right?  She may, at times, need to convince herself of that, since complaining about motherhood is taboo. 

A wise therapist once told me that when people seem to be making things about you not being where they are in life, that's actually really about them and their struggle with where they are in life. I read all these "motherhood is amazing and I have no complaints because I am so blessed!" etc posts (from Jinger and from basically every mom I'm friends with on social media who does this) that way....because as a mom, I know better. I see you, moms.  I know it ain't all perfect and I know you're talking to yourselves a lot of the time. ;) 

I think Jinger is truly in love with and in awe of Felicity, like a lot of new moms are (especially first-time moms), which doesn't also negate that she is probably trying to convince herself it's the best thing ever when it's also the hardest damn thing ever.   I hope maybe she sees that if she doesn't have eleventy blessings, she can know and spend time with Felicity and any (small number) of subsequent children and get to enjoy them more than she could with double digit blessings.  Maybe Jinger's adoration for Felicity as a little person with her own personality will slow down the baby train for the Duggalos. (And hopefully Jeremy will show some common sense as he has in some other areas - buying a house, living away from JB, being cool with pants for women, being okay with an alcoholic beverage once in a while, etc - and also slow down the baby train.) I'd also assume that not having Jana and other Duggars to drop the kids on down the street/a short car ride away will also slow the baby train down.  Plus, whenever the number of kids start costing more to feed/clothe/care for than what Jeremy needs for his clothing, hair products, shoes, etc, I'm sure the baby train will come to a hault. 

(I haven't said this eloquently, so I hope it all makes sense.)

I don't have human kids, but I feel like this about my cat children sometimes.

[yogi2014L]

14 hours ago, lucy711 said:

I don't disagree with everything you said.  I do think a lot of people post things like this to convince themselves that they are super happy because that is what society expects.  However, she might honestly believe that.  I don't want to sound corny, but motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me, period.  I had a full life prior to the birth of my son, but I have become a better person and enjoyed life so much more since his birth.  Yeah, parenthood is hard, but I expected that going in.  No one should have children and not expect (many) difficulties.  I have to believe that there are other women out there like me who are being true to how they feel.

Now would Jinger feel this way if she had the opportunity to pursue an education or career prior to being a mother?  That's another story.  But I had all these opportunities given to the modern American woman and even though motherhood isn't perfect, it's the closet thing to perfection that I have found.  I'm willing to admit I may be a rare breed, but we do exist.

I also enjoy life so much more with my daughter. I especially hated my full time job as a contract management analyst and am lucky enough enough to now work part time as a yoga teacher ( for the time being, I will probably have to do something full time when kids are in school). I feel like my real life experience doing something I hated for ten years gives me so much more appreciation for things now.

In Jinger's case, she may love it and would have loved it regardless of her life experience. Or she simply went from living in a life of frumpers and chaos and 100 siblings to care for, to having one easy baby to take care of with the help of another adult.

Like me, this might be the most enjoyable her life has been since being a child herself! Of course when baby starts walking and talking and being a toddler who knows how much anyone will continue to enjoy things, haha. 

[ginger90]

[GeeGolly]

Who is depicted on the coffee mugs?

[galaxychaser]

Jeremy’s parents?

henry the 8 with the queen? 

I don’t know.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Who is depicted on the coffee mugs?

I'm sure they're theologians!

Chuck's might be "Chuck" Spurgeon, actually. Have no guesses on Jer's, though. 

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

I'm sure they're theologians!

Chuck's might be "Chuck" Spurgeon, actually. Have no guesses on Jer's, though. 

I was thinking the ‘Charles’ might be Jeremy’s dad before he went bald,the cartoon has a beard like his.  Maybe it was a gift to him.  It looks like they’re at church, maybe Jeremy has a mug belonging to another minister?  You can find those sorts of things at Cafe Press, upload a photo and get a mug with a sketch of it on it.

ETA: never mind, it is indeed Charles Spurgeon. Ugh!

Edited February 3, 2019 by doodlebug

[louannems]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Who is depicted on the coffee mugs?

Spurgeon and Wilberforce?

[Churchhoney]

15 minutes ago, louannems said:

Spurgeon and Wilberforce?

Chuck's looks like Spurgeon.

But the name under Jer's is too short for Wilberforce....pic doesn't have Wilberforce's hair either, as far as I can tell. 

[doodlebug]

34 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Chuck's looks like Spurgeon.

But the name under Jer's is too short for Wilberforce....pic doesn't have Wilberforce's hair either, as far as I can tell. 

Yeah, I can't make out the name on Jeremy's mug, but his father's says 'Charles' and that is Spurgeon's hairline and beard.  Wilberforce' first name was William and the name on the other mug is much shorter.  The cartoon on the mug also doesn't look like the guy has a wig and/or ponytail which is historically the way Wilberforce wore his hair.

[Barb23]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I thought I was reading Chuck's eulogy except for the last two paragraphs.

His line "As a young boy, I stood beside him as he tenderly loved my mother" gave me a whole different picture than the one he was trying to get across. Am I the only one who interpreted it this way? 

[Churchhoney]

29 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

I thought I was reading Chuck's eulogy except for the last two paragraphs.

His line "As a young boy, I stood beside him as he tenderly loved my mother" gave me a whole different picture than the one he was trying to get across. Am I the only one who interpreted it this way? 

I got the same picture you did. 

My thought was -- Jer, you need to work more on your writing!  (of course I'll enjoy things more if he doesn't) 

Edited February 3, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Future Cat Lady]

2 hours ago, Barb23 said:

I thought I was reading Chuck's eulogy except for the last two paragraphs.

His line "As a young boy, I stood beside him as he tenderly loved my mother" gave me a whole different picture than the one he was trying to get across. Am I the only one who interpreted it this way? 

No! For a second I was like "Gross, he was watching his parents have sex". LOL.

[awaken]

2 hours ago, Barb23 said:

I thought I was reading Chuck's eulogy except for the last two paragraphs.

His line "As a young boy, I stood beside him as he tenderly loved my mother" gave me a whole different picture than the one he was trying to get across. Am I the only one who interpreted it this way? 

Ew, yeah, maybe rethink your wording there, Jer.