S06.E13: The Day of the Wedding

[kili]

Although Rebecca's condition in this episode was...not great...they did mention that she had just started mistaking Kevin for Jack in the last couple of days. Maybe she had been doing okay and then all the disruption to her schedule, the excitement of the wedding and the stress of the performance through her out of whack? If I'm being charitable, she wanted to perform at the wedding and all was going well (music tends to help Alzheimer patients), but her turn for the worse had everybody second guessing that? Still, they did say that she had reached the point where people should stop correcting her because it just leads to her being distressed.

Nicky and Edie are such a great couple. It's amazing how the actors have made them believable in the few scenes they've had to do it in. Nicky has ended up being a calming and supporting presence in the family.

I think Sophie's concerned looks at Kevin was because she knew about all the problems Kevin was having mentally with Rebecca mistaking him for Jack. As a nurse, she probably had some experience with late stage Alzheimer patients. I wonder if Kevin and Miguel looked so devastated because Rebecca tried to sleep in "Jack's" room the night before the wedding. Perhaps Sophie helped them guide her back to her correct room. 

If Phillip was helping Rebecca practice for the last year, does that mean she still lives in LA and the family compound is empty? 

It's nice to see that Cassidy is smiling again. It was a warm smile. In the current time, she rarely smiles and when she does, it's usually a grim or brittle smile. Such a great way to show us she is healing without having to tell us.

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, kili said:

Nicky and Edie are such a great couple. It's amazing how the actors have made them believable in the few scenes they've had to do it in.

They are so cute! I loved seeing them dancing and happy. Vanessa Bell Calloway is so gorgeous.

This is a really trivial thing but I thought it was … I don’t know, noticeable, that Madison just put her hair in a ponytail for the wedding. The rest of the women had their hair done; she did not.

[Aliconehead]

5 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Yes my mother (and I) cared for her aging mother, 24/7 in our home, for her final 15 years, and my aunt and cousins would come once a year and act like visiting royals.

Speaking of which, I was so mad at Princess Diana when she ruined the timeless look of her wedding, (golden carriage, teams of matched horses,  massive gown) with that soccer mom cut.  At least Mandy Moore looked prettier with it.

I felt like this whole episode was a trailer for, "Who does Kevin choose?" and I don't really care.

My brother did this.  My mother and I cared for my dad with his Alzheimer’s but my brother came once a year made judgements and demands. We wanted a break and he wanted to change everything we did because he thought owe were wrong.  
While every one is different, most  are  diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 5 or so years after first symptoms and most pass less than 10 years after. Rebecca’s Alzheimer’s seems to progressing on this time line.  It is a longer process if it’s early onset, which Rebecca was on the border. As some who live then fast moving, this is not it to me. 

[bluegirl147]

I think Randall's kids were there but we just didn't see them.  They could have had a throwaway line like Beth saying to Randall "Go tell the girls they are needed for pictures".  The writers probably thought Randall's line about the girls being his protection would work but since it was a joke it was easy to believe the girls weren't there.

I must have a heart made of stone because Rebecca's singing did nothing for me.

 

[Blakeston]

I’ll give the writers credit for one thing: They acknowledged TWICE in an episode that Randall was wrong about something!

First with his terrible idea to correct Rebecca in the middle of a happy event, and inform her that her husband has been gone for years. Kevin straight-up told him that what he did isn’t what doctors advise.

And then Miguel called him out, thank heavens, about confronting him about his health on that day of all days.

Randall’s been wrong plenty of times, but it’s refreshing to see him actually be called out on it.

Also, that brief interaction with Randall and Beth joking about depressing speeches being his sweet spot? They showed 10 times more chemistry and comfort with one another than we’ve ever seen with Kate and Mean Jerk. Or Kate and Toby, for that matter.

[marceline]

This show really wants me to be invested in Phillip and Kate but I'm just not.

Why were Madison and Beth wearing bridesmaids dresses when there was apparently no bridal party standing at the altar with the bride and groom?

[txhorns79]

4 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

Also, that brief interaction with Randall and Beth joking about depressing speeches being his sweet spot? They showed 10 times more chemistry and comfort with one another than we’ve ever seen with Kate and Mean Jerk. Or Kate and Toby, for that matter.

I feel like the difference is that the writers and actors have had multiple seasons to develop Randall and Beth as a couple.  This is as opposed to Kate and Phillip, where they seemingly wrote their ending (marriage) first, and have been trying badly to show how these two got to that point ever since. 

[Jax7917]

Why do I get the feeling that the writers are gonna finally give an episode to Miguel and Rebecca’s back story and how they fell in love on the same episode he dies ? I can just see the flash backs and flash forwards now . 
 

I really liked this episode. It’s really hard to watch any Alzheimer’s storylines play out especially when it hits so close to home . But sometimes you do need a good cry . The piano part made me cry but mostly because it makes you think about how fast life really does go once when you hit a certain age . You really do tend to take life for granted when you’re young and healthy . 
 

Poor Miguel just wanted an hour of fun but instead got Randall . He should really learn his lesson and pick someone outside of the Pearson crew if he wants to have a good time , seriously . Or at least take Beth since she has a sense of humor ! 

[BAForever]

10 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

  If I was determined to have mom sing, I’d have made a video tape of it, made on a good day, and played that at the reception.  

Yes, yes, yes! Haven't watched yet, but have time to read forum. I did read up and watch Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett a few months ago on their TV special. Tony can barely communicate, but the music comes on and he can sing songs perfectly.  Looking forward to the episode. 

[nilyank]

3 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

I might be the only one but I thought Beth and Madison were obnoxious. Madison shouldn’t have even been there with her dorky husband. She’s annoying and nosy. 
 

Madison is the only friend that Kate has actually shown to have since season 1. Even Sophie who grew up with Kate and was supposedly her best friends had most of her scenes throughout the years with Kevin and if she and Kate shared a scene (there were not many), it was mostly about Kevin.

I thought the song was crappy. I didn't like the actual song though Mandy sang it fine. It was maudlin and uninteresting to hear. Plus I cannot imagine Rebecca singing that song over the years especially when the Big 3 were little kids. Kate said this was a song that her mom song all the time, and yet this was the first time viewers heard it. I think it would have been better to actually use a sappy, sad song that is actually been heard before by the viewers.

[TV Diva Queen]

Rebecca singing was really past Rebecca (having an episode) and not really the current Rebecca right?  

Beth's dress was everything

Why did they have to Uber to the wine tasting?  Wasnt the wedding venue a winery?

As someone who's pushing 60 with two kids in college, Randall's speech got me right in the feels. 

[Aloeonatable]

2 hours ago, ams1001 said:

If anyone's kids should have been the only ones in the wedding photo, it should be Kate's kids...

Photographers take many, many pictures at a wedding. One of my daughters is a wedding photographer. Just because we saw one such shot, doesn't mean that Kate's kids or Randall's wouldn't have been in another. 

[Jodithgrace]

Randall gave the perfect speech, short, sweet, and to the point. I thought to myself, "Great! Now sit down, Randall." Alas, turns out he was only taking a breath, before launching into his depressing diatribe. Oh well, tv characters never listen to me, even when I talk out loud. 

I think the only problem with the girls being missing, was the family photo. I can understand the casting issue, if the girls were going to have lines, but for the photo, they could have aged up Deja, and basically used extras for the other two. It was at a distance, and we don't know what Annie and Tess look like at this age, so they didn't have to go to the trouble of casting look alike actors, like they usually do. 

Miguel is a prince.  He didn't punch Randall, who was being at his very Randallist. 

I think Phillip's response to Rebecca's singing was perfect. After all, he teaches music to special needs kids and understands the power of music. He seems to compliment Kate. She doesn't need another intense person, like Toby was. They were always crashing into each other. Phillip seems to be the calm, nothing ruffles him, English person she needs. What he sees in her, however, I don't know. 

[bluegirl147]

10 minutes ago, txhorns79 said:

  This is as opposed to Kate and Phillip, where they seemingly wrote their ending (marriage) first, and have been trying badly to show how these two got to that point ever since. 

I agree with this.  The writers wanted to break up Kate and Toby and decided to show Kate's new life before showing us how she got there.  It's like decorating a house before you build the house. 

[Good Queen Jane]

I'm fanwanking that the picture is for Kevin with just his immediate family (although why Eli, I don't know. Maybe they've become like brothers). Later there would be a picture with the Randall Pearson family where the three girls replace Madison, Eli, and the twins (if the girls were allowed out of the Witness Protection Program). I've seen lots of strange family arrangements for wedding photos. Sometimes it's the only time you can get everyone in a certain group together dressed up for a family picture. The photographers don't mind; more photos they can sell.

[ams1001]

8 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

I just realized Phillip is with two "L's" not one and I picked that wrong spelling up from somewhere.

I know it's two Ls but I think I've used both spellings. 

4 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

I might be the only one but I thought Beth and Madison were obnoxious. Madison shouldn’t have even been there with her dorky husband. She’s annoying and nosy. 

You're not the only one. It was cute for a minute but they started to get on my nerves. And I was really annoyed that they read the notes on Kevin's dresser. Even if they were love notes from someone (and I'd be more inclined to think they were discarded notes that he considered for his toast, given where they were) they have no business invading his privacy like that. Don't agree that Madison shouldn't have been there, though. She's Kate's friend, why wouldn't she be there?

13 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

Why do I get the feeling that the writers are gonna finally give an episode to Miguel and Rebecca’s back story and how they fell in love on the same episode he dies ? I can just see the flash backs and flash forwards now . 

Because it's totally something they'd do and I am expecting the same. 

[cardigirl]

I enjoyed this episode, especially the beautiful song Rebecca sang for the wedding. 

I thought that Miguel was awesome in recognizing they don't have a lot of time left, either of them (Rebecca or himself). Randall was still trying to "fix" everything so their health would be perfect again. Miguel was saying, "Enjoy what is, because we're on our way out." 

I'm not a fan of the show trying to tease viewers with "Who is Kevin with?" When he started to tell his mother (?) that he found himself in a bit of a pickle, I'm more interested in that. Unless he had started something with Cassidy, which is why she's his plus-one, and then accidentally on purpose slept with Sophie, who's married, I can't imagine what that pickle might be. 

Also, the writing on the napkin was no love letter, but lyrics for a song. Obvious to me. LOL!

I guess I'll stop trying to guess where the show is going and just watch it.  😁

 

Edited April 20, 2022 by cardigirl

[perkie1968]

So Randall's girls were not there?????  The "family" photo was missing, not only the Randall girls but also Kate's kids, but had Kevin's ex and her husband???  So dumb.  

[Pallas]

40 minutes ago, nilyank said:

I think it would have been better to actually use a sappy, sad song that is actually been heard before by the viewers.

The tune is the show's closing theme. 

[BuckeyeLou]

10 minutes ago, Pallas said:

The tune is the show's closing theme. 

Yes, the "This is Us" Twitter account said this is the closing theme that has been used all along..it definately made me cry

[ams1001]

Is it weird that I never noticed the theme music before. (Nor did I notice last night.)

[A.Ham]

Apropos of nothing, I missed this episode because of my own mother playing with the remote, which she loves to do, and inadvertently canceling the recording before it aired. I have no proof, but I am pretty sure that's what happened because it was set to record. It appears that it just so happens to be the episode where they show more of Rebecca's decline with dementia, so... touché mom?

[SunnyBeBe]

I wonder if they will go with the story that Rebecca progresses with dementia with just some momentary memory lapses until her death.  It just bothers me because that’s how the public often views dementia.  However, it’s often much more than memory lapses. They had Rebecca confuse Kevin for Jack.  But, that was about it.  For actual people who have dementia, there is often outrageous and uncooperative behavior, resistance to care, delusions, constant repeating, poor balance, sleep disorders, depression, loss of mobility, incontinence, etc.  After the early stage, caring for a person with dementia is quite an undertaking.  I hope Miguel gets some help. He seemed unusually stressed at the wedding.  My cousin was in Memory Care for six years before her death.  

Edited April 20, 2022 by SunnyBeBe

[Jillybean]

54 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

You're not the only one. It was cute for a minute but they started to get on my nerves. And I was really annoyed that they read the notes on Kevin's dresser. Even if they were love notes from someone (and I'd be more inclined to think they were discarded notes that he considered for his toast, given where they were) they have no business invading his privacy like that.

Not only that, but Madison took pictures of the notes AND the bra!

[mishap]

I understand how music is so good for people with dementia.    And it was nice they had her sing but it was a lot of pressure and stress on everyone.  I would think they could say, well she'll do it, if she can but not force it.    Or maybe i should, not have it be a focal point.   It looked like they could have been flexible enough to go either way, depending on how she was handling everything.  

But, Randall's speech was too  much for me.  Too long,  too sad, too everything.  It was insightful and emotional and those are good things but it was a downer, to me.  Not a happy party speech.  And  I kept thinking he would be wrapping it up,  keeping is short and sweet, but that was crazy thinking.  He's a Pearson and now a senator, so then never should have let him up there.  lol  

But the funniest part, to me, was him saying that Rebecca's performance would bring them out of the abyss into which he had just dragged everyone.  lol    While it was well done, it was  the same type of overwrought emotion as Randall's speech.    It did not exactly lighten things up.   

3 cheers for Miguel for  taking care of Rebecca, himself and telling Randall what was what.  

Kate's dress was beautiful.  

Beth and Madison were fun, but i still had to shake my head a bit.  "Mind your own business', 'worry about yourself', is just not part of their life,  I guess.  lol  

[BC4ME]

48 minutes ago, Pallas said:

The tune is the show's closing theme. 

And FWIW, Mandy sang that song live on set at the wedding scene recording using the mic we see. They don't usually do that. I think it added some emotion that she probably felt for the character and from the show ending.

Edited April 20, 2022 by BC4ME

[CountryGirl]

So many moving parts in this episode, but I really enjoyed most of it.

I'm CFNBC but felt Rebecca's feeling "stuck" in mom mode and understood her desire to break out, even a little, with a new haircut. I thought she looked great and Mandy has rocked short hair before. We also got the Jack's 'stache origin story, which I'm still not sure we needed, but there it is.

I did like the moment though of Jack commenting that he appreciates them having a routine and the comfort that brings vs his chaotic upbringing.

And of course, little Kate had to to compare Daddy's new look to Magnum PI and liken Mommy's new look to He-Man. As an 80s kid, I'll say they were both attractive LOL.

I liked that Jack arranged for a sitter (presumably not the one the little darlings trapped in the bathroom) and took Rebecca out on a Wednesday evening and she got to dazzle him at the restaurant with her singing and piano playing and seeing her young and carefree juxtaposed with 75 year-old-Kate was...a moment, I'll circle back to that later as I kind of need a moment, recalling her performance at the wedding. 

Elsewhere, we got to see a little more of Kate/Philip and while I would have liked to see a bit more development there, I liked what I saw. I think it being the second marriage for both of them helps to shed more of the doubts, misgivings, and superstitions with a first wedding. It was fitting that they broke with tradition with Philip seeing Kate before the ceremony and immediately recognizes her fears about Rebecca's upcoming performance, even though she has been practicing with her for a year. I appreciated how Philip let Kate express her fears (of Rebecca being crushed if she couldn't manage it - which that holds true for all of them) but didn't let her go into full-blown spiral, reminding her that once Rebecca found her key, she would lock in and be okay. With Rebecca's history of singing and playing the piano, muscle memory was definitely working in her favor, Alzheimer's be damned (like that beautiful clip I saw of a former prima ballerina who could hear Swan Lake and do perfect port de bras in her 90s). Even though Philip has had struggles with feeling happy and hopeful and optimistic, he reaches for those things for himself and with Kate, in these moments, on this day of all days. His "Can I interject?" when the Big 3 started winding up one of their sibling spirals made me LOL. To which I said, "Yes, please!"

I like what I see with the more balanced approach to the Phate relationship thus far. 

Randall becoming a senator is confirmed. As if there were any doubt. Needless to say, the goodwill he provided with his road trip with Rebecca episode was kind of squelched with his reaction to learning Rebecca sometimes has thoughts that Jack is still alive. My MIL has the same thoughts about her late husband (who passed away in 2020) as well as her long-dead parents. One would think Mr. Know-It-All would have done his homework here and should know to just roll with it vs correcting her.

Kevin rolling with it by moving over to Rebecca and taking her arm - that's how it's done, Randall. Also, when Milo appeared, it seemed to me he was channeling Justin as Kevin as Jack (if that makes any kind of sense) - very well done with the subtle difference vs straight Milo/Jack. Also, the moments in the vineyard with Kevin walking with Rebecca where she thought he was Jack part of the time and then Kevin. So well done.

I wanted to shake him during his wine time with Miguel. Just let the man enjoy his wine, Randall! He has more than earned it. Miguel is in his 80s so it's hardly earth-shattering that he is taking BP meds and the tremors were confirmed to be from that, plus stress (which Miguel knows a thing or a hundred about) can cause this.

And hell no to that depressing as hell wedding toast with the only glimmer the nod to Miguel's own words and the words about time going by so fast, especially as we get older. What is the saying, "The days seem long, but the years are short?' So true. Thank you, Beth, for getting him out on the dance floor and shutting him up.

I'm going to be the odd one out that I didn't love the wacky comic hijinks of Beth and Madison. All the Beth in the world can't save the "not a good enough actress to be a lead" Madison. It was cute the first scene or two but it quickly got old and tired for me. You are all 40-somethings behaving like you're in a sitcom featuring 20-somethings. I did appreciate Beth calling Madison on trying to out-Beth Beth. 

That they are making who was in Kevin's room into comic relief clearly shows TPTB are trolling us at this point. I really am on the page of IDGAF whom he ends up with so long as it's not Madison (confirmed) or if he ends up alone is more than fine. I think it will be shown he didn't sleep with anyone the night before the wedding and that it had very little to do with any sort of romance.

But those final moments of Rebecca initially faltering but then indeed finding the right key and singing and playing beautifully just got me in every feel. Knowing it's the same song she performed at the restaurant and the show's theme song was just breathtaking and moving and watching it with my own 70-something mom and meeting eyes, yeah, I'm tearing up all over again. As did those who watched her and yes, that includes a teary-eyed Philip. 

Please give Mandy an Emmy nod, if not the actual award. 

Kate's dress and hair were beautiful.

ETA: OMG, how could I forget Miguel walking Kate down the aisle and the moment they shared. About damn time Miguel gets his due.

[tennisgurl]

12 hours ago, Seelouis said:

Just the Pearson brothers. I guess he’s perfect for Kate since he clearly has no life, no friends, nobody for Kate to be jealous of. 

It sounds a bit ominous really, like Kate was searching for a guy who doesn't have many family or friends, at least ones that live in this country, as part of some kind of nefarious scheme. "Oh, you don't have many family, friends, or anyone else who might report you missing? How interesting...just sign that will leaving everything to me right here on the dotted line..."

Of course the real reason we don't see many of his family or friends, except for some Scottish relative who existed for a quick joke and references to his family drinking a ton of wine, is because Philip just exists to be a new endgame for Kate so that she could have a happy ending after the show decided that she and Toby needed to get divorced and so that we could get a "shocking" twist last season where Kate was marrying her Mean Brit boss. He is hardly even an actual character, we don't even know his last name, but I guess that's how it is when you decide to marry off one of your main characters at the last minute to someone the audience hardly knows in a frantic rush to the shows conclusion. Her might as well be a cardboard cutout of Prince Harry.

That's one of the reasons I hope that Kevin's true love isn't the wedding singer. We already have one Pearson's endgame being some rando we met in the home stretch, we don't need two out of three. I don't love him ending up with Sophie, Cassidy is my pick if he ends up with anyone, but at least we actually know her. 

Edited April 20, 2022 by tennisgurl

[MamaBird]

The short haircut scene didn't ring true for me.  Rebecca came into the salon with a picture of Princess Diana with her short hair curled and styled beautifully.  I have never known a hairdresser who wouldn't have gotten out the curling iron and the hairspray to give Rebecca a perfect replica of the princess' hairstyle.  No way she would have let her customer out of the chair with her hair looking so flat and lifeless.

(In my experience, hairdressers love to do that kind of thing.  A few years ago I came to mine with a photo of Shiv from "Succession" on her wedding day.  She knocked it out of the park, and it was clear the whole time how much she was enjoying it.)

[FnkyChkn34]

I've missed some episodes because I don't actually like many of the characters, but wasn't Kevin wearing a wedding ring in the flash forward to Kate's wedding at the end of last season?  And now he's clearly not married. Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought he was...

I think Kevin and Rebecca are the only ones I care about at this point. I also like Beth, Nicky, Miguel, and Toby... but Randall and Kate are too arrogant and self-righteous for my liking. 

[CountryGirl]

Also, I saw this on reddit and it made me laugh so hard. 

Things that only make sense if you watch TIU.

[Nancybeth]

2 hours ago, Jillybean said:

Where is this wedding supposed to be? Central coast? Napa/Sonoma area? And more importantly...WHY? A destination wedding makes no sense for a number of reasons, not the least of which is Rebecca's illness. They had to arrange an unusual schedule for her, so why also have it take place in unfamiliar surroundings?

It was filmed in Paso Robles, so...3 hours from LA, not as far as Napa/Sonoma. But I agree with you, it didn't make sense to me either for many reasons! Honestly, Kate's first wedding was pretty modest, I would have expected a small casual second wedding but I guess they needed the whole setup of a destination wedding for the Kevin storyline to work.

I also didn't understand why Madison and Beth had to wear matching dresses (they were NICE matching dresses but still) if they were sitting in third row and not walking down the aisle or standing at the front or other bridesmaid type things.

I liked this week's episode much better than last week but I still think Kate marrying Phil(l)ip is a total retcon and makes no sense for his character. Also is Kevin totally underwriting their lifestyle and wedding? They're both teachers(?) at a school for the blind in LA. How are they affording any of this??

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, Nancybeth said:

Also is Kevin totally underwriting their lifestyle and wedding? They're both teachers(?) at a school for the blind in LA. How are they affording any of this??

Yeah, I found myself wondering if Philip has family money because that was a big expensive wedding.

[absnow54]

1 minute ago, Empress1 said:

Yeah, I found myself wondering if Philip has family money because that was a big expensive wedding.

Maybe Philip's wife had a very generous life insurance plan, and had this show gone on longer, we could have heard Philip monologue about the guilt he felt for cashing it out, when she was in the process of leaving him. 

[MissLucas]

Maybe random Scotsman is Phil's uncle McScrooge?

[Nancybeth]

1 minute ago, MissLucas said:

Maybe random Scotsman is Phil's uncle McScrooge?

Yes, perfect! Just swimming around in gold coins, supporting his grumpy British nephew and perfect Kate and the Damon-Pearson kids. 

[GeorgiaRai]

54 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

Also, when Milo appeared, it seemed to me he was channeling Justin as Kevin as Jack (if that makes any kind of sense) - very well done with the subtle difference vs straight Milo/Jack. 

Thanks for saying this! I kept thinking Jack was a little out of character, and this is why - he was Kevin-as-Jack.  Makes perfect sense now.

Other thoughts:

I liked the episode overall except for it being set at this particular couple's wedding. Bleh.

I was glad they didn't cancel Rebecca's performance. Surely every person there would've been understanding & supportive if  she couldn't do it when the time came.  As it was, It would've been a shame to take that moment from her - from them all - preemptively.  It was my favorite part of the episode.

Edited April 20, 2022 by GeorgiaRai

[Ohiopirate02]

36 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

And of course, little Kate had to to compare Daddy's new look to Magnum PI and liken Mommy's new look to He-Man. As an 80s kid, I'll say they were both attractive LOL.

 

I busted up laughing later on when the kids were watching He-Man and Randall looked back at Rebecca to verify if Kate was correct.  

[mirandroid]

Live footage of me when I realized Rebecca was singing the closing credits song at the wedding:

Like so many others, I don't care who Kevin is ending up with and hate that they are perpetuating the plotline as if I do.

[3 is enough]

52 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I wonder if they will go with the story that Rebecca progresses with dementia with just some momentary memory lapses until her death.  It just bothers me because that’s how the public often views dementia.  However, it’s often much more than memory lapses. They had Rebecca confuse Kevin for Jack.  But, that was about it.  For actual people who have dementia, there is often outrageous and uncooperative behavior, resistance to care, delusions, constant repeating, poor balance, sleep disorders, depression, loss of mobility, incontinence, etc.  After the early stage, caring for a person with dementia is quite an undertaking.  I hope Miguel gets some help. He seemed unusually stressed at the wedding.  My cousin was in Memory Care for six years before her death.  

This. My mother was the sweetest person but she was verbally abusive to her caregivers- swearing at them, insulting them, and even threatening to hit them.  Also she got her days and nights mixed up and would call me at 3 in the morning.
The writers just don’t have the time to delve into all of the aspects of the disease, so we are being spared the messier ones. But anyone who has lived through it knows exactly what Miguel was referencing when he talked about how hard everything was.

[izabella]

37 minutes ago, FnkyChkn34 said:

I've missed some episodes because I don't actually like many of the characters, but wasn't Kevin wearing a wedding ring in the flash forward to Kate's wedding at the end of last season?  And now he's clearly not married. Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought he was...

I think he was wearing a ring in the flash forward to Rebecca's death bed. 

[ams1001]

6 minutes ago, izabella said:

I think he was wearing a ring in the flash forward to Rebecca's death bed. 

He is; they make a point of showing both his and Nicky's rings.

[Tango64]

5 hours ago, Haleth said:

Good Lord, that was the most depressing wedding on TV since the Red Wedding. 

So true. From creating the most stress possible for your fragile mother to Randall's depressing speech, and then those awful wedding vows. Who picks that moment to say I never liked you at first and this sure as hell wasn't love at first sight? Like, yeah, we got here and we're getting married, but you know, it was a struggle. I guess we'll go ahead and do it.

Which isn't at all consistent with the whirlwind happy happy happy romance they just showed us in the previous episode.

I half expected Phillip to respond to with something like "Don't forget my first wife got hit by a drunk driver. And died instantly!" 

Yayyy, happy wedding all around.

[SunnyBeBe]

25 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

This. My mother was the sweetest person but she was verbally abusive to her caregivers- swearing at them, insulting them, and even threatening to hit them.  Also she got her days and nights mixed up and would call me at 3 in the morning.
The writers just don’t have the time to delve into all of the aspects of the disease, so we are being spared the messier ones. But anyone who has lived through it knows exactly what Miguel was referencing when he talked about how hard everything was.

You are right, however, a big part of the show has been about Rebecca’s dementia.  It’s a wasted opportunity to sugar coat it or downplay the reality.  Maybe, there are patients who never have the severe and overwhelming symptoms that we have witnessed, but I can’t imagine they are typical.  Years of being the responsible person for my cousin, medical appointments, visits to Memory Care facility, networking with caregivers, reading professional materials, research, etc. provides the truth about this cruel disease.  Maybe, I take it too personally.  It’s just that this series appears so far to paint Rebecca’s dementia as sad, but not terribly disabling.  I don’t think it’s fair to the real patients or their caretakers.  This show has a lot of viewers.  It has a certain responsibility, imo.  

[Jillybean]

I don't think Kevin winds up with the wedding singer. We already have one of the Big Three end up in a marriage the viewers have no investment in after 6 seasons. I don't think they'll do this twice.

[izabella]

6 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

You are right, however, a big part of the show has been about Rebecca’s dementia.  It’s a wasted opportunity to sugar coat it or downplay the reality.  Maybe, there are patients who never have the severe and overwhelming symptoms that we have witnessed, but I can’t imagine they are typical.  Years of being the responsible person for my cousin, medical appointments, visits to Memory Care facility, networking with caregivers, reading professional materials, research, etc. provides the truth about this cruel disease.  Maybe, I take it too personally.  It’s just that this series appears so far to paint Rebecca’s dementia as sad, but not terribly disabling.  I don’t think it’s fair to the real patients or their caretakers.  This show has a lot of viewers.  It has a certain responsibility, imo.  

And this kind of sanitation of dementia allows the rest of us to continue letting that freight train hit families without comprehensive support from our medical and societal institutions.  Dementia is an epidemic, but it's all on family members on their own to figure out how to care for - and how to pay for medical care for - their stricken loved ones.  And in this family, it's all on Miguel.

Miguel is the one bearing the emotional brunt of losing his wife more and more each day, as well as managing her care, medications, and all the times she wakes him up at 3am and puts her shoes on wanting to go home even though she's already there.  What does Miguel do when Rebecca cries because she can't find Jack, or yells at him for keeping Jack from her?  Where are the scenes of Miguel putting child locks on the cabinets so Rebecca doesn't rummage around the kitchen in the middle of the night to eat raw potatoes thinking they are apples, or to drink all the wine, or to clean the kitchen by pouring bleach all over?

It's not just a "sad" disease where people forget names and mistake their sons for their husbands.

[SunnyBeBe]

2 minutes ago, izabella said:

And this kind of sanitation of dementia allows the rest of us to continue letting that freight train hit families without comprehensive support from our medical and societal institutions.  Dementia is an epidemic, but it's all on family members on their own to figure out how to care for - and how to pay for medical care for - their stricken loved ones.  And in this family, it's all on Miguel.

Miguel is the one bearing the emotional brunt of losing his wife more and more each day, as well as managing her care, medications, and all the times she wakes him up at 3am and puts her shoes on wanting to go home even though she's already there.  What does Miguel do when Rebecca cries because she can't find Jack, or yells at him for keeping Jack from her?  Where are the scenes of Miguel putting child locks on the cabinets so Rebecca doesn't rummage around the kitchen in the middle of the night to eat raw potatoes thinking they are apples, or to drink all the wine, or to clean the kitchen by pouring bleach all over?

It's not just a "sad" disease where people forget names and mistake their sons for their husbands.

Exactly!  Unless, they are giving Rebecca the good dementia, which doesn’t exist, they should be more real about it.  

[Jodithgrace]

But that might be coming. We know that there will be an episode featuring Rebecca and Miguel’s story, and that may well show the uglier side of dementia, interspersed with past scenes showing the progression of their relationship. 

[SunnyBeBe]

4 minutes ago, Jodithgrace said:

But that might be coming. We know that there will be an episode featuring Rebecca and Miguel’s story, and that may well show the uglier side of dementia, interspersed with past scenes showing the progression of their relationship. 

That’s true.  I hope they really did their homework on this.  TV shows often pick a tough condition like Type I diabetes, cancer, mental illness, etc. and then they don’t do it justice.  I recall my cousin’s doctor talking about dementia when she was first diagnosed.  He said death is not the worst thing about dementia.  

Edited April 20, 2022 by SunnyBeBe

[chitowngirl]

1 hour ago, Jax7917 said:

Poor Miguel just wanted an hour of fun but instead got Randall . He should really learn his lesson and pick someone outside of the Pearson crew if he wants to have a good time , seriously . Or at least take Beth since she has a sense of humor ! 

Miguel could have joined Beth and Madison on their quest for a while!