So I dipped my toe (or I guess my eyes) into the cesspool that is this show yesterday, just to see the Liam/Thomas showdown.
But first we had this standoff with Thomas and Sally:
Thomas: "So, you moved out of Wyatt's." LIke he cares.
Sally: "Yeah." As she should have, taking her dignity and pride with her.
Thomas: "Did he kick you out?" Nice.
Sally: "No. Leaving just felt like the right thing to do, after everything that happened."
Thomas: "Sure, if you want to lose him." You would think that, stalker. Although honestly, Sally is better off and I'm disgusted by her being trampled in the process of propping Felony Flo. And it is honestly chapping my ass that she is being praised for being sane and rational with crazy, delusional Hope when FLO IS PART OF THE REASON HOPE IS "CRAZY" AND "DELUSIONAL."
Sally: "I'm not giving up on us."
Thomas: "Good. I'm sorry I got you mixed up in the situation with Hope and me. I didn't want to affect your relationship with Wyatt. But, hey, I'm sure you'll work things out." He isn't sorry at all.
Sally: "Yeah. I hope so." Honestly, Sally? He's not worth it. She was wrong to keep Thomas' whackado a secret from Wyatt (and more importantly, Liam and Hope) but she came clean within days. Wyatt is still lying about having cheated on her with Flo. And yes, with numerous kisses and meetings (some behind Sally's back), they have crossed that line IMO. Sally's Spidey senses and street smarts should have realized there's a reason he's just fine and dandy with her leaving. It's almost like he wanted her to have some secret so he could justify what he's been doing with Flo for weeks now. Boy, bye.
Thomas: "I doubt he's gonna let you go. That said, I'm not giving up. I still think it's best for Liam to be with my sister and those girls, and it's best for hope to be with Douglas and me, filling the awful emptiness." What emptiness? He wasn't even in love with Caroline (which is not to say he doesn't miss her in his own right as well as for Thomas), but come on now, son.
Sally fires back: "Her bed isn't empty. And Liam isn't gonna let that happen." Nope
Thomas: "Hope gets to live her own life." Wow, thanks for pointing out the obvious, jackhole.
Sally looks at him like she can't believe she was ever in love with him and it really is sad that they completely erased the history these two shared. That would have been a much better story to tell and for the first few days after his return, they were playing Thomas (at least i his expressions) as still having feelings for her. Not this woke up in love with Hope crap.
Sally: "That's exactly what she's doing. With the man she chose to spend it with." She fires one last parting shot. "And I imagine Liam's flying home as we speak."
Of course, the reality is lost on him.
Later, I have to say that it was very satisfying seeing Liam put that psychopath in his place.
It was clear he had Thomass' number from the second he landed.
Like his remark to Wyatt: "I want to know what I'm walking into first. I mean, just how far has Thomas gotten in his campaign to brainwash my wife into leaving me?"
I also loved how he stood up for Sally when Wyatt was whining about how he thought she was cheating on him with Thomas. Oh, the irony.
Wyatt shares the retconned history that Thomas told Sally he never stopped loving Hope.
Liam: "What? What -- what does that make Sally and Caroline, intermissions?" Damn. Liam can be salty. I love it.
Wyatt: "Dude, this -- this is apparently how he tells it."
Liam: "Okay. I mean, it kind of sounds like he's just excusing the way he treated both women. I'll be damned if he's gonna make Hope number three."
He calls FC and finds out Hope is there, in the CEO office, and Thomas is with her. He tells her NOT to share that he'll be on his way over. He wants it to be a "surprise." Hee.
Liam: "You know Thomas has done this before, right?"
Liam: "Yeah, like, a long -- a way long time ago, before you and I ever even knew each other existed. He actually proposed to her."
Liam: "Dude, the guy was a hot mess back then." Back then??? Then again, he'd probably say the same thing about me, but whatever." Hmm...some self-awareness from Liam. Refreshing.
Wyatt: "Wait, so what did Steffy say when you told her that he was doing this?"
Liam: "I didn't. You know Steffy. I mean, she always wants to believe that Thomas just misunderstood, right up until the exact moment she catches him in the act. You know?" Well, especially when it's a means to an end to whatever she's after.
He asks after Sally and Wyatt reveals they broke up and, of course, tries to put all the blame on Sally, which, no motherfucker.
He can't take Liam's "something is seriously off and not just Thomas" look and tries to change the subject. Don't worry, Flo will be along to assure you that you did the right thing. Those two deserve each other and I cannot wait until he finds out the gal who was not worth ending things with Sally for has committed human trafficking. Of her cousin and his niece. Have fun with that!
Wyatt: "Wait, so you -- so you said, um -- you said Thomas does this? Like, this is his thing? Like, he's just -- he's making a tornado and turns everything into rubble?" Um, pretty much. That and questionable, if not out and out rapey, bedroom activity.
Liam: "When I told him that I was going to Paris and I asked him to keep Hope company, do you want to know what he said, exact words?
Liam: "Don't worry, Hope's in good hands. Good hands. Yeah. Little on the nose, in retrospect. See, this is the thing. You know, I was willing to let bygones be bygones. I -- I know that he's struggling with the loss of Caroline. I know he's trying to stay strong for his son. But if the guy thinks that he's gonna bulldoze my marriage under the guise of giving his kid a mom... it's not gonna happen." Liam is fired up!
And with that, he's off to find Thomas.
We cut over to FC where a clearly uncomfortable Hope is doing her best to dodge Thomas, who is a Dateline cameraman away from being in his own "To Catch a Predator" episode.
Only it's not the cameraman who enters the room, it's Liam.
Liam: "You know, I love Paris, but I love you more." I have never been happier to see Waffles and I'm not the only one.
Hope: "Liam!" Her face...it's like the sun coming out and it's a thing of beauty as she flies into her husband's arms.
Thomas has to just stand there and watch them. He might as well be as invisible as they start to catch up. Any sane person would excuse themselves so these two could have some time alone.
Notice, I said sane.
He, of course, cannot stand being ignored, and has to interject about the babies. Dick.
Thomas: "It must have been so good to finally be reunited." Eyeroll.
Liam: "It was. It was, um... it was really nice to hold them again. Until I realized I missed holding my own wife so much that I had to come home." LOVE IT!
Hope, who is just beaming as she continues to hold onto her husband: "I'm surprised you came home so soon. Did something happen?" What she doesn't say (but doesn't have to) is: "THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!"
Thomas decides to go on the offensive: "Let me guess -- you got a call from your brother telling you that I still had feelings for your wife."
Oh, he wants to play it like that, huh? Get him, Liam!
Hope: "Uh...Wyatt? How did he-"
Thomas: "I, uh -- I confided in Sally about how I felt, about how I'd never really given up on my dream of a future with you, and... well, Sally must have thought it was her duty to tell Wyatt, and Wyatt thought it was his to tell Liam, and Liam thought it was his to hurry home. Am I right, or close?" Yes, it was their duty, thank you very much. As human beings.
Liam: "You know -- you know, I was older than Douglas when I lost my mother. But I still know how brutal it is to become a motherless child all of a sudden, and so I understand the instinct to want to protect Douglas from all of that. Hell, there's hardly anything I wouldn't do for Kelly. Or Phoebe, for that matter." Liam is trying, on some level, to relate to Thomas and I admire him for trying. Then, he lowers the boom: "But, Thomas... that's where my understanding stops. How dare you try to break up another family in order to mend your own? You know we're grieving, too. We lost something, too. And for you to think that you can take advantage of Hope's vulnerability and her maternal instinct just for your own benefit is unreal."
Hope, always the peacemaker: "Liam."
Liam cuts her off: "No, you don't have to -- you don't have to defend him. I know where he's coming from."
Thomas: "You and Hope, you're a couple, but you're not a family."
He seriously fucking said that.
How insulting to couples who, like me and MH are childless not by choice, or those who are childless by choice to say they are not a family.
We became a family the day we said "I do" so again, a big fuck you to Thomas and the writers for that.
Someone needs to take him out like the trash he is.
Liam is disgusted. As he should be. "That -- oh, okay. That's not for you to judge."
Thomas: "You have a family, over in Paris and in pieces. And I didn't break it up, you did."
Just when I think he can't say anything more assinine than he already has, he ups the ante again.
It was his sister, Hauxdilox, that fucked her father-in-law's dick.
And lied about it.
And lied about it.
And lied about it some more and would have kept on lying if Liam hadn't found the paternity test results she so blithely left lying around.
That is all on HER.
Liam, knowing it would be pointless to counter with that to this beady-eyed motherfucker, calls him out on his actions: "Let me tell you something. I love those little girls. I love them, and I'm gonna be in their life for a very, very long time. This is my wife. She is my wife. So all the manipulating, all the guilt-tripping, it stops now, Thomas. Do you understand me? Now."
And nary a hint of butter or syrup in the air.
So Thomas, enjoy sleeping with one eye open
Because this Liam?