cardigirl

Well, parts of this ending were interesting, and once again, Betty undid herself by not listening to her lawyer. (Not sure how true that was, but probably pretty true.) What a sad sad mess. I did like the "regrets" scene where if they had chosen different actions, things might have played out a little more happily. I still think Dan stacked the legal deck against her, and she felt herself powerless (whether she was or not) against all that was done to her life. She lost her life and couldn't survive. Lots of women have gone through, especially since the devaluation of the institution of marriage by the laws of our country. Betty had been taught to be a wife and a mother and then learned there was no value in the eyes of the court in any of that. So very sad. But also very sad is the fact that she cannot express any remorse for what she did to her children by taking their father away from them, and their mother too. You can agree all you want that Dan treated her terribly, but the fact that she has no remorse for the murders means that you cannot side with her completely. I guess that's what draws people to the story.

I can't believe they brought in another annoying female to bother the clergyman. I see no redeeming qualities in Ellie. Haven't liked her from the start, and don't think she's written or acted particularly well. Of the season, this episode was the best, but prior to this, I thought they were really struggling to get the characters going. I love Leonard and so far he's the only one who's remained true to character. I'll watch the finale before I'll decide if I'm hoping for another season of Grantchester. It's too bad, I really used to quite like this show.

Oh, also have to give a shout out to Virgil, the coroner (Jefferson Mays), who was delightful tonight.

WOW!! Great episode! John Lithgow was on fire tonight! You could feel his desperation growing throughout the episode. Stephen Root was scary! I never hated anyone so much as I did his character tonight. I was really worried about Paul Drake, because I thought those crooked cops would figure out the new lead came from him. They may still retaliate against him. I loved this episode. Couldn't take my eyes off of the screen for a second. Beautiful!

Who, Iris? God help me. If you're talking about "Grace," I like her insights, but the drawing in of breath is driving me nuts.

Okay, I got names mixed up. Kristen is the friend. Gonna be a long season. Whooo boy.

I'm also pretty suspicious of this Henry and his DEAR FRIEND Kristen. UGH. No thanks to that. If I were a new bride and there was this rather attractive woman already attached to my husband's hip, I'd have SERIOUS doubts. Not sure why the experts don't. And why were there women at a bachelor party anyway? I get that they are his friends, but for goodness sakes. I smell producer-driven drama.

Does this discussion include the Kevin Frazier special that aired after the Matchmaking episode? Because I was somewhat annoyed by the "super fans" from the magazines/online shows. Well, just the one, Tierney Bricker. Did not care for her 'insight.' Otherwise, rather enjoyed having them place bets on who is gonna make it. I guess the villian edit is already being given to Brett. Drama, drama, drama.

I don't know that it is really true that Betty's lack of a decent lawyer was totally on her, or that it was entirely her fault that she got such an uneven settlement. There are plenty of divorces handed out where one spouse is totally shredded by the settlement. Dan played the right mind games with her, and had no qualms about what he was doing. The judge could have chosen to be more even-handed in the settlement, but he didn't go that way. In hindsight, I think it's easy to say she could have just walked away, but I don't think Dan ever really offered her a "fair" settlement. Sure, the initial amount may have been (to most of us) more than enough to live comfortably, but it wasn't what she was used to, as Mrs. Dan Broderick, and he made damn certain she wasn't going to have that. He was punishing her from the start. She made a point of saying she didn't want to be a single mother of four children. By that, I think she meant, she didn't want to be left with the four kids, no money, and for him to go off with his new wife and have everything. Was she using the kids as a ploy? Yes, and I think she thought she could remain close to Dan through those kids, but that backfired when he fought and got full custody and made visitation impossible for her. Her temper did her no favors, but I think that started to come out when Dan started playing games, like visiting local lawyers so she had to go to San Diego and find one, lying to her about having an affair and telling her she was crazy, fining her all the time for "bad" behavior. That's why this case gets its hooks in people. You can see where there were so many wrong turns. Today, women threaten to accuse their husbands of child molestation in order to get bigger settlements, or claim abuse, or illegal activity. When the financial stakes are high, the big weapons come out. And poor Betty kept thinking that infidelity was the worst crime there was. When no one would agree with her, she couldn't take it.

Oh such a sad story the other way. She couldn't live with the loss of her life (the marriage and all that it brought her) so she figured out a way to end the pain. I hope her exhusband suffers guilt of some sort, although I doubt it. It does happen often too, older man goes off with a younger woman, because he thinks that's what he wants, and finds out she's just in it for material things. Oof, relationships are hard.

This was hard to watch, again. I think anyone who has gone through a divorce they didn't want understands, to some degree, the sadness and anger that Betty was feeling about Dan's betrayal and his moving on with Linda. Most people, though, move forward. They may never forgive their former spouse, or have warm feelings towards the stepmother that gets involved with their children, but they find a way to move forward and find something to look forward to. Betty got so stuck, so hyper-focused on how wronged she had been, that she couldn't move forward. Part of that was the drawn-out nature of the settlement, and the legal trickery she had to deal with, exacerbating her feelings of helplessness. Part of it was the lack of any real support, emotional support, in her life from anyone, Dan, her parents, etc. I think some of her friends tried, but eventually she wore them down. She truly was mentally ill, but she had gotten herself to a point where she felt she could trust no one, and no one understood her. The day of Dan and Linda's wedding, with Betty looking through her own wedding album, was pretty realistic. Lots of women probably treasure their wedding day as one of the biggest days of their lives. And now those memories, because of the way the marriage ended, are tainted, and especially when the spouse is moving on and marrying someone else, looking back at when it was YOU being in the wedding, well, it's sad, and normal, and also, maybe a good time to kiss all of that good bye and say, time to move on. What an utter tragedy.

A bit shallow, but, um, I definitely wouldn't mind being kissed by Perry. 😉

Why not? Excuse me, but are we going to go into a world of censoring? What I am taking from this discussion is that these themes cannot ever be addressed in historical context again?

Is it historical? I thought the scene was well written and well played. This is set in the early 1930s, not 2020.

Again, that wasn't the point. She was supposed to be a good girl and just go away. Dan could do to her whatever he wanted and it was fine by the courts, but she was not allowed to have her say. I agree, she should never have given up on have legal representation, and I'm sure she got frustrated by how they didn't bring Dan to his knees for her, but I think the idea that she was supposed to go meekly away and just accept whatever he was willing to give her was galling on far too many levels. I don't know if she had settled earlier, or been meeker, if Dan would have let her go that easily, anyway. We'll never know. He seemed to take a lot of pleasure in reducing the settlement as much as possible, and in fining her every chance he got. There should have been more balance in this settlement. Not, well she had more than most so what did she have to complain about?