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A.Ham

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  1. A.Ham

    S03.E18: Her

    Ok, I have to admit I have not read all the comments, except some on the first page. I had to come here to just say that for a few episodes I have been suspecting Dementia/Alzheimer's. My mother has had this for about 8 years (that is just when she was diagnosed but the odd signs were there for at least 2-3 years prior). I watch the show casually and wasn't sure exactly who the "her" would be, but the moment they started showing Rebecca's odd fixations with hospital décor, it reminded me of the same odd/unimportant things my mother paid attention to in the early stages. Then the writing down of everything, so as to not forget--patients with Alzheimer's get creative to not only find ways to meet their needs, but to camouflage their confusion so others don't pick up on it. By the time Randall had to tell Rebecca he was her son I was in tears. First time I can recall having actually cried for this show, that was close to home. My mom is still with us but it is a challenge every day. Watching a loved one's brain get shredded to pieces--it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. My cousin said the same thing (his mother, my mom's sister, is also diagnosed and in a nursing home now), and he was deployed to two tours in Afghanistan. But I digress... For all I know it could have been some thing else (stroke, cognitive decline caused by trauma, etc). This just felt familiar to me.
  2. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    Certainly feels like it. Even with the explanation about Diana Ross being close friends with him, it’s like, ok, who is next on this celebrity apology tour? Ok, well, I suppose one ca say that Diana is not able to be objective about the situation. So does she get a pass in excusing his behavior? That’s a grayer area for me. Back to Barbara—her statement is, at best, tone deaf, and at worst, hand-waving child abuse. Yup. Thank you for stating it so succinctly.
  3. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    If in fact she did say it... wow. I read the replies for a little bit and saw this one which I was one of my favorites:
  4. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    To me, it all more than adds up. While a documentary has the responsibility to present the truth, it bears no responsibility to favor a child predator. I can't imagine having watched the documentary and the Oprah special and still coming away caring more about the legacy of a superstar rather than the effects of child sexual abuse, but that's just me.
  5. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    I apologize in advance for the long post. I am starting to feel like others on this thread, like it is just too much, but on the other hand writing the thoughts down and sharing them helps me process what I have seen. So I had never actually been an MJ fan. Partly because I didn’t live in this country and I was also too young, all I recall is people talking about him being a weirdo as a kid (late 80’s-early 90’s). I arrived to the US in 1992, in the midst of his first big scandal popping up. Didn’t pay much attention to that other than, yup, he’s a weirdo. I mean, I thought his music was “cool” but nothing that inspired fandom in any way. Conversely, I really loved Wade Robson during his SYTYCD days. I thought he was a genius, and made modern dance palatable to me in a show that only valued contemporary dance. I missed him when he stopped choreographing there, and wished there was another platform were we could enjoy his work. He kept a much lower profile choreography wise since; when he finally came forward on the today show, I was just surprised and felt badly that he had endured that for so many years. I can’t understand the staunch supporters that to this day say that his acquittal is somehow proof that he didn’t do anything. To me it only proves the power of his machinery, and the power he had over these boys to get them to testify on his behalf. The supporters seemingly can’t get past the point that the men defended Jackson. I can understand it easily with the concept of identification with the aggressor. It’s a defense mechanism/survival strategy. In those situations, victims develop feelings of admiration, gratitude, and establish an emotional bond with the aggressor. In this case, the length of time of the abuse, the severity of it, the years of grooming, were the perfect breeding ground for this—they were hard-wired from a young age that the only acceptable behavior was to deny and defend MJ. To this day James admits to feeling guilt about disclosing. That is quite a stronghold MJ had on his victims—by him portraying himself as a victim and creating a “world against us” mentality, he got his victims to support him to an unimaginable degree. And now even from his grave, the fact that they defended him is now being used against them. I wish there was a way of showing more public support to both men, or even to have a way of letting them know that not everyone is against them and that there are people that believe them. If there is, I am not aware of it. One last thing—there is also an aspect of identification with the aggressor where some of the victims repeat the behavior and become abusers themselves. I am not suggesting in any way that Wade or James identified to that extent or would ever do so; only in the sense that it explains their defense of Michael.
  6. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    Ugh, I need eye bleach after that picture with the nephew. The evil part of me wants to post it on twitter to his biggest supporters and ask their opinion, but they would probably accuse me of photoshopping or come up with some delusional pile of "reasons".
  7. A.Ham

    General Gabbery: DWTS

    I didn’t “ship” them, but they were certainly a nice looking pair. I do remember seeing somewhere that she had said he wasn’t her “type” (whatever that means). Anyways, he seems to be happily married now, so all is good in the hood. I haven’t really kept up with what she’s been doing...
  8. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    My heart breaks for Wade and Shawn. I want to hug them and tell them it was not their fault. I want to shield them from all the vile stuff out there that could come their way. The fact that Wade is getting death threats? Sickening. I believe them both 100%. And it saddens me so that they experienced that abuse for years, starting at such young ages. Wade was practically a baby. Neither of them were in any way equipped to handle the intense complexity of their situation. Even once they grew older, the fear was so paralyzing they couldn’t even admit it for decades. That has to be haunting. I agree with those who say that James still appears so broken... I hope both of them find ways to heal more and more each day.
  9. A.Ham

    Leaving Neverland

    So I have only seen the first 30 minutes or so of this but I have been reading along and it sounds like it will be brutal. How these mothers got so blinded by the megastar power and hand their children over is beyond me. And yes, their giddiness over how it all got started is revolting—knowing what it ultimately led to, you would think they’d take a more sobering approach to this documentary. Michael was a sick, evil prevert that surrounded himself with yes people who looked the other way for a paycheck. Disturbing.
  10. A.Ham

    All Episodes Talk: Crime And Punishment

    Yup. I fell asleep too, but just finished watching it. He choked her in her own basement and then put her in a garbage bag and threw her out the one window that did not have camera coverage. Just horrible. Scary to think he can be out in 8 years after all that. Hopefully they can bring charges against him for the death of his first wife, Marta, who also “disappeared”. The pieces were only put together by the detective who investigated Pam’s murder. Not sure why the previous detectives hadn’t taken a closer look at the boyfriend.
  11. A.Ham

    S02.E15: Risk and Reward

    Yes! Lol, even Melendez seemed to catch the irony right after he said it
  12. A.Ham

    S01.E15: The Rock

    Yes, I’ve been as well (on Thanksgiving, of all days, and by happenstance on a whimsical little detour we took that day). I was actually more impressed by the Native American displays that were there, though it was not clear if they are always there or if they just do special occasions type of thing.
  13. A.Ham

    S01.E14: Someday

    Exactly. A very wrong message to send. It’s not like he’s in control without the meds. I understand that antidepressants take a while to kick in, and that you have to work to find the right medication/dosage, but it’s irresponsible for the show to send that message. Even if at the end of the episode they had him change his mind about taking them because he was “inspired” by his wife. I also call bs on Maggie being able to access patient info with a few keystrokes without anyone seeing her. Not only was the computer not locked, but she knew exactly which program to get into to get the info. Not to mention she was within the peripheral vision of the guy Rome was distracting. Even as a “lowly social worker” I know that would not pass in most places. And maybe some facilities are more lax than others, but this is so drilled into people it becomes muscle memory. I now work from home, but even in my own house, with almost 0 risk, I lock my computer to go grab a glass of water. It’s just force of habit. I can hand-waive with the best of them because realism doesn’t make good drama, but this show has a lot more WTF moments than most. I’m not sure why I record this, to be honest.
  14. A.Ham

    AGT The Champions: All Episode Discussion

    So I had actually seen Cristina Ramos' audition for the Spanish version of this show, Got Talent España. Not that I watch that show, (or even this one more than occasionally) but somehow came across her audition video (she starts singing around the 43 second mark). So she started off with "Les oiseaux dans la charmille" and moved on to Highway to hell. I was much more impressed with that video than with her AGT audition. First, the first time was an impressive novelty act, because I hadn't seen that combination before. So when I saw that she was going to perform here, I had high expectations for her. Those expectations soon fizzled because she was entirely way too shrill and I could barely make out what she was singing. Maybe she was nervous, but I was no longer impressed.
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