S24.E02: Week 2

[SallyAlbright]

44 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Madison needs to close her mouth. Somebody must have told her it was cute one time and she just kept doing it. 

One of my best friends does this huge open mouthed laugh when she feels awkward and is trying to force a laugh and seem more cheerful than she feels. I always tease her about it later because I can tell she wasn't really having fun. Maybe Madison does the same thing, but I agree - it's distracting. 

[Thumper]

I haven’t watched this show regularly in years.

Why did he only give out one rose two days in a row?  When does he start eliminating them?

What’s up with Kelsey?  Is there always so much DRAHHHH-ma?  I watch other reality shows, so I figured the champagne was a producer plant/plot.

Why are they even into this guy so early on?  Has anyone ever said, “nah, I’m out” before the bachelor or bachelorette drops them?

What is the “bachelor handshake?”

[Wandering Snark]

7 minutes ago, Thumper said:

What is the “bachelor handshake?”

This involves the woman running up to the Bachelor, throwing her arms around his neck and then grasping her legs around his waist to complete the "handshake". As far as we know nobody has been injured performing one but there is always that hope... we saw it tonight with the woman that led the pack on their group date.

[TheFinalRose]

I thought for sure Madison's "gift" was going to be one of those glamour shots of Peter's mom.  

This season is one of the dumbest groups of "ladies" I've seen in ... probably forever. Yep, upon further reflection, I've decided it is the dumbest group.  That being said, the Champagne going up Kelsey's nose will never get old.  

Peter looks like such a goober. When he does that WooHoo he looks like a giant dork.  Standing there telling the "ladies" how much Hannah means to you is so self-indulgent. Read the room, dude.  He probably went back to his hotel room and spent the afternoon texting then FaceTiming Hannah with the producers knocking on his door saying, "C'mon Peter! The gurls are waiting."

And that surprise news Chris interrupts the Final Rose Ceremony to deliver? "Peter, we just found out Hannah won the Mirror Ball." Peter then jumps up and down and says  "Stop filming! I have to go call my mom." Then, back in the hotel room, he collapses on the bed from excitement. "I feel like I'm going to pass out," he says. "My mom and I voted so many times for Hannah. I can't believe she won!"

[tinkerbell]

3 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Don't they run a psych check on these contestants? I am surprise that in all these years, someone hasn't gotten seriously hurt. 

Of course they do.   But it doesn't eliminate anyone.  They want to make sure they get their quota of crazy women.  

Kelsey was setting it up to be such a big deal -"  I brought a bottle of champagne from home, I was saving it for something special. I can't wait to share it with Peter!"    then she talks about it, like it's THE MOST ROMANTIC GESTURE.  Good lord!  You can buy sparkling wine for under ten bucks at the grocery store. 

But yes, the whole thing reeks of producer manipulation.  Have her put the bottle down, have other women get to Peter first, walk right over to where the champagne is, etc.  

[phlebas]

So the girl who has cried, slammed a drink, and made a lame vagina joke on a TV show seen by millions is nervous about walking down a runway in front of 50 people. Okay.

[nittany cougar]

I don't believe that Kelsey is 28.   There is something hard about her face. My guess is 32-33.  Of course being in your thirties is great, but it is sad lying about your age.  I get the feeling there is a story there.  She gives me Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction vibes.

What is a clothier?  Is that a fancy word for saleswoman?  These job titles are useless.

Hannah Ann bugs me because of her stupid, rhyming name and her child-like face. 

Edited January 14, 2020 by nittanycougar

[JudyObscure]

If Kelsey gets tired of being a clothier she can make big bucks at any strip club saying she's Stormy Daniels' sister.

Hannahannaanna changed since the first week and is no longer as pretty as I thought she was.  It must be the life of  crime she's living.

Sydney was telling Peter about her life in Alabama and I was thinking she sounded about fifteen when he said, "I can tell you're a strong woman."  Suddenly I remembered he said that a lot in Hannah Brown's season.  I think he wants to be dominated.

McKenna's parted in the middle, flat blonde hair is so unbecoming to her triangle face I can't stand to look at it.

When Madison was sitting next to Peter, sounding drunk and swaying toward him with her mouth wide open, it looked like she was trying to hit him with her teeth.

I think that scruff they make Peter wear in an attempt to toughen him up is actually having the opposite effect.  He looks  like a teenager with his first fuzzy whiskers.  He has no chemistry with anyone, yet once again, he was  standing between some unlucky woman's legs while kissing her. Last week, rather than have her legs part naturally during a make out session he took his hand and pried her legs apart.  Who does that?  Add that to the four times thing and I'm calling "weird in bed."   Maybe we'll get more info at the Fantasy Suite show.

[kazza]

I fell asleep about 30 minutes before the end of the show. Did anything even slightly amusing happen? The only 2 things I remember from the first 90 minutes was Hannah B and the champagne spraying in Kelsey's face. (And as pointless as Hannah's appearance was, I could discern some kind of faux storyline. The rest was just a blur of women complaining.)

They need to do something to this show to bring back the show. This level of drama probably happens multiple times a day in any high school or college. 

[thejuicer]

1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

He has no chemistry with anyone, yet once again, he was  standing between some unlucky woman's legs while kissing her. Last week, rather than have her legs part naturally during a make out session he took his hand and pried her legs apart.  Who does that?  

This. I get so uncomfortable watching his kissing scenes. Is that how young people make out these days? 

[JudyObscure]

56 minutes ago, kazza said:

I fell asleep about 30 minutes before the end of the show. Did anything even slightly amusing happen? The only 2 things I remember from the first 90 minutes was Hannah B and the champagne spraying in Kelsey's face. (And as pointless as Hannah's appearance was, I could discern some kind of faux storyline. The rest was just a blur of women complaining.)

I fell asleep, too, so I just watched the end.  Hannah B did not show up again.  Hannahann tattled on Kelsey to Peter about the "you're a fake bitch" stuff.  To hear Hannahann tell it she cried all night and felt bullied.  So Peter took Kelsey aside to lecture her but Kelsey cried and denied.  So that stalemated. 

Peter gave his group date rose to Victoria P who is trying to appeal to Peter's protective side with poor shy little me stuff, but I don't think that's the way to his heart.  I think he's rather be protected himself.

I started this show thinking the two Victorias would be the final two, but I was using my own taste in looks and forgetting that Peter thought Hannah Brown was the bomb.  So I'm now putting my money on Hannahann for the win.  She has the same round face, tiny snub nose and wide mouth as Hannah B and his mother.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

So after the girls are booted, do they get a free pass to Stagecoach? 

And I agree with the poster above, Janice Dickerson looks like a busted up version of Caitlyn Jenner

[nutty1]

7 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

And that surprise news Chris interrupts the Final Rose Ceremony to deliver? "Peter, we just found out Hannah won the Mirror Ball." Peter then jumps up and down and says  "Stop filming! I have to go call my mom." Then, back in the hotel room, he collapses on the bed from excitement. "I feel like I'm going to pass out," he says. "My mom and I voted so many times for Hannah. I can't believe she won!"

OMG, I just spit my coffee out from laughing so hard!! 🤣🤣🤣

[Koalagirl]

11 hours ago, EllenB said:

What's the best product to cleanse and sanitize my eyes?  I don't want the nightmares Janice Dickinson's fright face will bring.  God, that woman's about my age but she looks like my grandmother - embalmed for 35 years.

I hear you! She’s 8 months younger than me but looks at least 10 years older! 

[valen]

11 hours ago, JenE4 said:

What are the producers lacing the champagne with?! There is no conceivable explanation why they are all losing their goddamned minds like this on week 2!

I think the stakes are higher now and that leads to more emotion. He's a "celebrity." If you are chosen, or at least make it far into the process, it can mean tens of thousands of dollars. It ups the anty.

10 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

It looks like Kelsey’s nose got into a fight with a plastic surgeon. 
 

Victoria F can F off with her threats to leave. Just go. I can’t believe she even made it to the first round of cuts with her attempt at being provocative saying only her humor is dry alluding to her steamy vagina. This chick had weeks to prepare for her entrance and this is what she comes up with?

Madison needs to close her mouth. Somebody must have told her it was cute one time and she just kept doing it. 
 

Hannah Anne saying she was crying all night and her eyes look perfectly normal? More like crocodile tears. 
 

Previews show the ubiquitous Demi returning next week. It’s a tour de force I tell ya! 
 

At least we’ve been spared the bachelor handshake so far unless I blocked it out of my mind. 

Most of her IG photos have this look. It's incredible.

[JudyObscure]

17 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

Janice Dickinson's fright face 

What are they thinking with those fillers?  Are they just going to add more and more to the cheekbones to take up the slack until 89 year-old women are walking around with tight jaws but looking like  a propeller was jammed though both ears?

A few years ago I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon about a face lift because I'd lost  weight and my face looked saggy.  I think I had in mind stretching back  some jaw skin and tacking it behind my earlobes.  He started talking fillers and I lost my nerve.  Then I gained the weight back. Problem solved.

[debbie311]

3 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I think that scruff they make Peter wear in an attempt to toughen him up is actually having the opposite effect.  He looks  like a teenager with his first fuzzy whiskers.  He has no chemistry with anyone, yet once again, he was  standing between some unlucky woman's legs while kissing her. Last week, rather than have her legs part naturally during a make out session he took his hand and pried her legs apart.  Who does that?  Add that to the four times thing and I'm calling "weird in bed."   Maybe we'll get more info at the Fantasy Suite show.

LOL her legs were sticking out at such a weird angle, it looked kind of comical.  All the while, wearing a short dress.  You just met the guy!

[misokinesia]

This episode felt like one ridiculously long cocktail party. At one point someone said something about how long the night had felt because of all the drama. Same girl, same. Ugh.

It also seemed like a whole bunch of the same people went out on the next group date? Did we miss a date or did something get cut out? Do I even care? 🤷‍♀️

Madison needs to back. up. She was swooping in and laughing about two inches away from Peter's mouth. I kept wanting to swat her away. It was like she kept going in for a kiss but like wanted it on her teeth..? 

[phlebas]

3 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

If Kelsey gets tired of being a clothier she can make big bucks at any strip club saying she's Stormy Daniels' sister.

Unless she gets sued by Busy Philipps for using an unauthorized likeness on her face.

[Rainsong]

Meghan Markle’s long-lost cousin Peter faces a dilemma similar to hers: what if the lure of tawdry fame and adulation is stronger than genuine feelings and obligations? And how do you sell that without looking like a total plonker? (Spoiler: you don’t).

The damp squib of a group date becomes more of a group delay as the ladies sit around puzzling. Peter & Hannah B have done everything but lock lips and some grudging credit must be given to them because most would have yielded to nature about a week ago.

Less credit must be offered to the video crew and their silly voyeuristic door-crack-peeping nonsense. Last week the cameras were fully in the same room during all the sturm und drang. Hannah B & Peter are well accustomed to seeing the men in black and their rigs. Now we’re getting ham-fisted cinema verité.

If the also-rans think the first night was hurry-up-and-wait drudgery they ain’t seen nothin’ yet. As Paul’s grandfather complained in ‘A Hard Day’s Night’: ‘So far I’ve been in a train and a room and a car and a room and a room and a room’ – meaning the glamorous vistas they were promised and envisioned themselves have devolved quickly into a long session in a dentist’s waiting room. But at least the dentist eventually shows up and shows interest.

Natasha is carrying on with her Real Housewives patter. If she normally communicates this way it’s worrying. If she’s desperate to become a meme on the internet it’s a bit sad.

Mykenna gives her best Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction ‘I won’t be ignored’ speech. That is a crazed look, my dear. Alayah drags the English language even closer to the abyss by stating she wants to ‘progress their relationship.’ The girls are gathered, notebooks in hand to be informed that Pusillanimous Pete has decided to do…nothing. Well, as the great and sadly departed Neil Peart once noted, if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. The girls are still in ‘oooh pick me’ mode but any one of them could be forgiven for smacking him on the head for leading them into his personal no-fly zone. Pete wants to reconvene at the afterparty. After what, exactly? And what is there to celebrate? These cats are well annoyed and tails are flicking madly left and right now. Natasha is fully committed…to stirring the pot with more tirades in the key of F-sharp if not The Bachelor himself.

Alexa is sporting a daring hairdo not seen since Wendy and Lisa in their pomp in ‘Purple Rain.’ The ink is still wet on the Leave It In The Past Treaty but signatory Alexa wants answers anyway. Wait – aren’t we supposed to be the ones asking questions of Alexa? Natasha is now offering poison-dripping sessions to individual ear owners. Now it’s Savannah’s turn. And Savannah is doing the defensive arm-bar-hair-grab move! Who needs subtitles when you can read body language?

Natasha’s next victim is Pete himself. This sounds less like a dating show and more like a customer service class at a restaurant. I’m sorry, you’re right, I was wrong, how can I fix it etc. etc. Sydney is from Birmingham AL but sounds as if she’s from Burbank CA as she steadfastly refuses to place any space between her words. Soeveryutterancesoundslikethisandendsinaquestion? Her ‘I gave up a lot to be here’ speech is a familiar one but has the desired effect on Pete as he latches on. Or maybe it’s a move out of desperation as he tries something, anything to get her to finish a sentence.

Now it’s Mykenna’s turn and apparently this is her well-rehearsed switched-on I’m-such-a-flirt act. Fred Flintstone voice: ‘Hoo boy.’ They’re now reviewing line-dancing steps which are mercifully short and unmercifully arhythmic but merely a pretext for her to get a kiss. Pete unwittingly brings her inner Glenn Close out (again) by playing the role of Michael Douglas, lifting her onto a desktop. Pete, our only advice to is to keep her away from the bunnies. And boiling water.

Considering he’s only been on camera with four of the nine women gathered and only kissed two of them the rose will obviously be a coin flip between Sydney and Mykenna. Payton’s body language is nearly screaming aloud – she’s leaning so far off the sofa she may knock the lamp over as she taps her foot impatiently. She looks like a poor soul waiting on her train stop as a bunch of rowdy kids climb over the seats next to her while their mother ignores them.

Rabble-rousing Natasha is back at it and why not? She’s got the full complement of rabble to rouse now. Tammy is chock full of criticism for someone she’s met just the once. Pity the poor soul who ends up with her constant disapproval. Maybe she’ll pin them on the floor as punishment for leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Pete arrives with his now-standard apology and Lockjaw Lexi ‘feels a lot better.’ She wants to talk about the first night…of which Pete has no memory. That should fill her with confidence! Kisses, once a rare and prized commodity on TB, are now so uneventful that when they happen the cameras focus on…the hanging lanterns. Unlit. Even the cymbal crescendos are muted.

Kelsey has brought a bottle of champagne ‘for a really special moment.’ But hasn’t she noticed the bubbly has been flowing throughout the production already? Let’s face it…some of the best moments in the franchise occur when the participants are listing to starboard and have let their guard down. I suppose we can thank the execrable Corinne again for forcing adults to be treated like children as and when the booze is rationed. In addition to her champagne, Kelsey is lighting candles. On this show it’s like bringing sand to the beach. One wonders how she is guaranteed an audience with His Pilotness and that doubt is justified because he’s dashed out the front door with Glenn – sorry, Mykenna. Both of them already have drink in hand so the champers and Kelsey can wait.

Whatever M&P got up to has been left on the editing room floor but she returns, inexplicably, with a smug look, a can of Reddi Wip and a bottle of Log Cabin. Fleiss & Co. have never been above a bit of product placement but this is still very odd. Did we miss a reenactment of 9 ½ Weeks? Mykenna is still suited and booted. Does this mean Pete is naked and tied to a fence post somewhere, claw marks on his back, moaning softly in Spanish for his mama and looking like a stack of silver dollar pancakes? And why isn’t a single person in the room asking some rather obvious questions about the sugary condiments? But why talk food when you’ve got drama? Kelsey is reading every page of the riot act to Mykenna but it’s fine. Yes, it sounds entirely fine.

Pete, as it turns out, did not become a human Grand Slam Breakfast also which only adds to the mystery of the cream and syrup. But now it’s Madison Time! (It’s an old song- ask yer dad). Pete may be pecking around the barnyard – and why not? – but he’s a giddy schoolboy around Maddie. Speaking of barnyards, Alayah has rather noticeably become the mother hen, acting as sounding board for the others and now makeup artist touching up Kelsey after The Showdown Pt 1. Kelsey has regained altitude but is about nosedive into despair as she suffers the twin ignominy of someone stealing her moment…and her champagne. Never has the pop! of a cork so clearly marked a dividing line. And brothers and sisters, that line has been well and truly crossed. Yes who is with him? Madison’s back with the group so it must be…Polly Purebred, er, Hannah Ann! Underdog, you’re in truuuuuuble.

Hannah pleads innocent – she’s got the act down cold, to be fair – but she seems believable here. We shift quickly from The Bold & The Beautiful to Dumb & Dumber as Kelsey unwisely tips the champagne bottle to her lips and gets a faceful of it. It would be impolite NOT to laugh, really. For a split second Pete doesn’t know if he should laugh because it is genuinely hilarious. Kelsey, frankly, could defuse the whole situation by laughing herself but lacks the presence of mind. Kelsey is still convinced that she has transported the only bottle of champagne on the planet to California and the Bachelor house with her despite the open bar that has been on offer throughout. She’s like a kid who brings candy to a birthday party and throws a wobbler when others partake. Hannah is nearly robotic: ‘I acknowledge your feelings.’ It’s a fairly new passive tactic in Bachelorland but evidently a fairly common one. But it beats screaming I suppose.

It’s another Mid-Episode Rose Ceremony (MERC?). Kelsey & Hannah Ann are front and center and next to each other. Coincidence no doubt. Roses awarded to Victoria P, among others, who has gone from teacup turmoil to nearly zero minutes of screen time this ep. Also to Natasha although Pete might be playing defense as he doesn’t want the final tongue-lashing from her in the room with all the others! She’s clearly in the Friend Zone but in her case it might be more accurately termed the Demilitarized Zone. Hannah, we aren’t buying the gee-I-don’t-know-if-I’ll-get-a-rose routine so stop selling. Let’s all agree in non-judgmental fashion that you’ve got aces wired. Tammy. Ugh. Shiann’s got some front talking about others’ tantrums considering she was one of the primary tantrum-throwers last ep. At this point we are pounding the table and chanting Send Kelsey Home! but the psycho stalker on an emotional knife edge is a stock character in this show so no such luck. A number of clear no-hopers have been retained which, unfortunately for the producers, only further tips off who the final group will consist of.

ENTR’ACTE

Edited January 16, 2020 by Rainsong

[ljenkins782]

13 hours ago, EllenB said:

Kelsey's got "nasty incident while drunk" written all over her.

But Hannah Anna Banana Fofanna has got some stealth bitch going on.

I have to hope she was very drunk during the entire champagne incident, otherwise there is no hope for her. That being said, it was quite entertaining. She seemed genuinely convinced that the champagne gesture was going to be the greatest moment of her life, it didn't have the ring of someone acting crazy to get airtime, she truly does seem a bit off the beam.

The funniest part was the other girls egging her on about the stupid champagne when I'm pretty sure they all thought it was lame. One of them even said "I'm so happy for you because I can tell it means a lot to you" in a tone that clearly implied "it's stupid, but bless your heart, you don't know it." 

This is definitely one of the situations where you have to hope for the inevitable 2-1 date with Kelsey and Hannah Ann and that it ends with both of them being stranded in the desert/on an island while Peter takes off solo in his plane.

The edit implies that show knows Hannah Ann is a two-face, so we can only hope a comeuppance is in her future. It seems to capture her little smirks when she's pretending to be sincere, so I hope that means something.

Quote

Watching Kelsey trying to be moral support is truly the blind leading the blind.

Ha, it was clearly a supreme effort for her to give even 1/100th of a shit about the other girl for even half a second. She plastered on a sympathetic face that slipped off immediately after the girl turned away. She is so that friend who sucks up all the oxygen in a room with her drama and can't be bothered with other people's issues if it takes the attention off herself.

Quote

Not as Classic as the massive champagne facial that she got hit with from the producer plant 2nd bottle of champagne though. Damn, I had to watch that in slow-mo a few times, I nearly fell off my couch I was laughing so hard. Literally.

That was hilarious but I'm so confused about how it happened. It wasn't spilling over the sides, so it couldn't have been shaken. How did it explode so perfectly? 

Peter's reaction to Hannah Ann's "bullying" conversation certainly showed his hand as far as his investment in the two. He was ready to kick Kelsey to the curb instantly for insulting his precious Hannah Ann. No way in hell was production going to let him ditch the crazy that soon, but had it been up to him, he would have.

[JudyObscure]

Best recap ever, Rainsong!

You mentioned Tammy and that reminded me that she was so stressed the curl fell out of her hair. Heh!

-----------------

Alexa.  Her style and manner may be all wrong for this show but she's one of my favorites this year.  I thought she was stunning on the runway.

[Rainsong]

Dawn breaks with Tammy telling us – again - she doesn’t want to talk about the drama she keeps talking about. Kelsey has eyes puffier than George Foreman’s after the Ali fight. We see in the daylight that her bottle was Dom Perignon (despite the silly Sharpie masking of the logo) so perhaps she has a legitimate gripe when she ended up with the house prosecco. Inevitably last night’s combatants are sent on a group date together with all very jazzed about visiting Revolve. Every girl’s dream apparently. Some dream, some don’t about modeling. Hannah Ann could be excused for cackling loud and long – this will be a busman’s holiday for her. One gets the feeling that, ahem, less emotionally stable members of the party will not enjoy it. 

Hannah loves her hat but, as the old line goes, not even a Greek fisherman looks good in a Greek fisherman’s hat. Snark aside for a moment, it’s unclear why Victoria F is so insecure. Natural beauty, almond-shaped eyes, raven hair, banging figure, petite. And perceptive. She should know that Ugly Ducklings are a type unto themselves and very alluring to many males – even if it’s not on this show. For those of us unfamiliar with the fashion end of reality TV we can be excused for thinking that Rip Taylor had come back from the dead, shaved his mustache, left his confetti at home and put on a sequined jacket. This host is camp as a row of pink tents and is uninterested in any dermatologists’ warnings about sunbeds. His co-host Janice might have a word about premature aging of the skin.

Natasha says the fashion haul is like ‘Pretty Woman’ without the bad parts but several of the ladies have nevertheless opted for Streetwalker Chic. Hannah makes The Statement by donning a wedding gown. Pete surrenders without firing a shot. Costumes are changed and Natasha is described as ‘a really sexy Amish person’ which will be news to anyone who’s visited Amish country and noted, shall we say, the rather homogeneous population. Kelsey appears in pajamas and carries a bottle of champagne, natch. It’s even money she’ll bonk Peter over the head with it or possibly open it and spray the crowd with it. But that would likely cost her the prize – of clothes that is. Victoria notes that Hannah’s been the frontrunner from day one. See? Perceptive. But we’re having a bit of trouble swallowing the Not Confident routine. Not Confident people don’t wear lingerie in a crowded room. Full marks to her for summiting her personal mountain. For the others, beating Hannah Ann was about as likely as outdueling Eddie Van Halen in a Guitar Center on a Saturday morning.

Ooh! Power move by Hannah throwing her dress into Vic! Han milks it further by lingering for an extra turn. It’s all child’s play for her really as she coasts to victory. Equally predictable is Victoria’s despair. For once a sniffle and a cry don’t seem calculated as TB reassures her. Mykenna has copped a fair amount of opprobrium but she’s forming an alliance of sorts with Hannah – both may need the support when Hurricane Kelsey makes landfall again. ‘We’re both in a good place.' Translated: ‘We’re comfortably ahead.’ Hannah dishes the dirt on Kelsey. Previous Bachelors usually sprint away from the internecine wars in the house but certainly not here.

V is for Victoryia! Nobody in the room, save Hannah perhaps, begrudges the dark horse her rose. Peter unwisely places Kelsey on the stand where she demonstrates no sense of irony as she tearfully accuses Hannah of playing the victim.

The next-ep teaser is followed by a rather extensive teaser for the season. Caution is thrown mostly to the wind as we see dates, excursions and in most cases the ladies’ identities are front and center. The crying jags are too numerous to count. Interesting approach. Is it an attempt to keep the audience hooked or is it a statement of confidence in the audience’s loyalty?

Edited January 14, 2020 by Rainsong

[RealHousewife]

So many of these women are walking examples why men oftentimes tire of even the most pretty women quickly.

It’s not that unattractive women can’t also be bitchy, dramatic, and immature. But you ever see that strikingly beautiful girl who’s constantly dumped and everyone’s perplexed why she can’t keep a man? She’s probably similar to these broads.

Hannah Ann does scream fake. Kelsey sees right through it, but she’s got a different set of issues. She could stand to chill. Victoria cries if she’s not the #1 center of attention. The rumors about her make more sense now. 

People snark a lot about Janice, but she was crazy beautiful in her modeling days. 

[vmcd88]

Hope crazy Kelsey stays for awhile.  Had to rewind the champagne pop to the face a couple times.  So funny.  Smooth.

[GonnahearmeRoar]

I was so annoyed with Kelsey telling Mykenna to back off and make it easier for her to have time with Peter. Every other woman is sabotaging her perfect moment. Like what the F?! Is she high? Why does she feel so entitled to have this time because she bought champagne and a few candles? 

Love that Hannah Ann tattled on her😂 she got thousands in clothes, her champagne and cast doubt of her character. Easy assumption is Hannah Ann is fake. I haven’t seen her act more fake than the next lady. 

Strongest connection so far seems to be with Madison. Madison is confident and really seems into Peter. 

Victoria is beautiful. How can you be so insecure and look like her?!

 

[rebel2u]

55 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

So many of these women are walking examples why men oftentimes tire of even the most pretty women quickly.

It’s not that unattractive women can’t also be bitchy, dramatic, and immature. But you ever see that strikingly beautiful girl who’s constantly dumped and everyone’s perplexed why she can’t keep a man? She’s probably similar to these broads.

Hannah Ann does scream fake. Kelsey sees right through it, but she’s got a different set of issues. She could stand to chill. Victoria cries if she’s not the #1 center of attention. The rumors about her make more sense now. 

People snark a lot about Janice, but she was crazy beautiful in her modeling days. 

She was gorgeous.  But she was mean, too!  On America's Next Top Model, she demanded a young contestant report on another's wrongdoings.  The contestant didn't want to, but after relentless badgering from Janice, she did.  Then Janice exploded all over her:  how dare she tattle on another contestant!  Where was her sense of loyalty?  Yeah, crazy all right. 

With her tight, halloween-mask face contrasting with her saggy neck, I find her painful to look at.

16 hours ago, EllenB said:

Kelsey's got "nasty incident while drunk" written all over her.

But Hannah Anna Banana Fofanna has got some stealth bitch going on.

Is Lexi the secret daughter of Sissy Spacek and Laura Prepon?

Too right.

[RealHousewife]

26 minutes ago, GonnahearmeRoar said:

Victoria is beautiful. How can you be so insecure and look like her?!

 

Sometimes really pretty girls are so used to being the pretty girl in the room that they go nuts when surrounded by other beautiful women. 

[Captain Asshat]

1 hour ago, GonnahearmeRoar said:

Victoria is beautiful. How can you be so insecure and look like her?!

I'm going to guess that she's not actually insecure, but says she is as a way to get validation/attention/compliments.

<whining> "I am really insecure about my body."

"But, why? You're gorgeous!"

<perks up> "OMG! You really think so? Thank you!"

I'm also guessing she's used to getting what she wants, because of her cryfest after losing to Hanna Ann in the walk-off*. 

 

* I can't hear "walkoff" without hearing Billy Zane saying, "It's a walk-off!" 

Edited January 14, 2020 by Captain Asshat

[Kiss my mutt]

Isn’t Hannanne a model? Definite advantage on the runway. 
I applaud y'all's ability to remember more than a few names. I swear, almost every scene I saw someone I did right recognize or remember. 
 

Peter’s mom sure likes the spotlight. The previews of her crying, saying “bring her home” while stroking Peter’s face looks like she’s auditioning for a Lifetime movie. I’m already tired of Jack Sprat and his wife.  

[nlkm9]

5 hours ago, misokinesia said:

This episode felt like one ridiculously long cocktail party. At one point someone said something about how long the night had felt because of all the drama. Same girl, same. Ugh.

It also seemed like a whole bunch of the same people went out on the next group date? Did we miss a date or did something get cut out? Do I even care? 🤷‍♀️

Madison needs to back. up. She was swooping in and laughing about two inches away from Peter's mouth. I kept wanting to swat her away. It was like she kept going in for a kiss but like wanted it on her teeth..? 

whoever the chick was who ended p with Nick V, I think Vanessa, she would do the same thing. rest her head on his chest and raise her face and her teeth up. It was so truly bizarre. and lol re: peter not remembering who came in with the red convertible and all of sudden having one to give her. He is a terrible bachelor and the constant kissing is truly annoying. I used to like him!! he is awful!!

[CrazyDog]

I am snowed in today, and against my better judgement, I am now caught up on Ep 2. Hoo boy. So many random thoughts.

There's a Kiarra? Who's Jasmine? Why are there still 47 contestants left?

Savannah is stunning, I think. Natasha has a really off-putting way of looking down and then up at people. Alexa is so cute and seems too normal for this show. 

Victoria F...her job title should be Professional Manipulator. Thank goodness she overcame her shyness to strut down the runway wearing lingerie.

Hannah Ann. Needs to be cast as the Evil Head Murdering Cheerleader in a Lifetime Movie. Her dead eyes and blank face just creep me out. She's a Barbie with movement and bitch mode.

And thank goodness Revolve just had that spare wedding dress and veil laying around. That no one saw her trying on before the show. Whew.

That being said, I don't see how she could have known that Champagne was Kelsey's. But bullied? Drop that card, sweetheart. Getting in arguments and fighting with people does not mean you are getting bullied.

Kelsey, lol. Such a ridiculous freakout. But I totally laughed when she walked up to Peter and Hannah, got upset and just walked away. Of course Peter had no way to know what was going on. He should really be looking forward to the inevitable 2-on-1 date.

15 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Peter’s mom sure likes the spotlight. The previews of her crying, saying “bring her home” while stroking Peter’s face looks like she’s auditioning for a Lifetime movie. I’m already tired of Jack Sprat and his wife.  

That is already my favorite moment of this whole season. Is she asking him to bring a dearly departed relative's ashes home?

Edited January 14, 2020 by CrazyDog

[nittany cougar]

13 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Isn’t Hannanne a model? Definite advantage on the runway. 
I applaud y'all's ability to remember more than a few names. I swear, almost every scene I saw someone I did right recognize or remember. 
 

Peter’s mom sure likes the spotlight. The previews of her crying, saying “bring her home” while stroking Peter’s face looks like she’s auditioning for a Lifetime movie. I’m already tired of Jack Sprat and his wife.  

I got a weird feeling that his mom was referring to Hannah.  I cannot imagine his mom getting that emotional about any of the other ladies.

[Cornhusker12]

1 hour ago, Captain Asshat said:

* I can't hear "walkoff" without hearing Billy Zane saying, "It's a walk-off!" 

[SassyCat]

Did anyone else expect that champagne to blow up into Kelsey's face like I was thinking was going to happen? I've opened enough bottles of champagne to know you have to wait for the innards to settle down a bit before pouring because it WILL explode like a volcano, wasting much of the bottles contents when the bottle is being tipped back upright after the initial pour? I saw that coming a mile away and did feel bad for her. How humiliating after all the champagne hoopla to begin with.

VictoriaF and her fake insecurity about the modeling in front of people went right out the door when she hit that runway like she'd practiced for it her whole life. She walked that runway like a champ and I'm surprised she didn't win the clothes.

Hannah Anna has a sneaky bitch look behind that innocent mask she wears. She's a calculator, that one.

[Jax7917]

I can already see the cast of next seasons paradise With this crew . I can especially picture the producers giving Kelsey champagne On her way in . 
 

I’m confused because maybe i missed a part . Peter seemed to whisper to Hannah that he was going back to the girls and hugged her goodbye , but was that it? 
did they show the infamous part from the previews where peter leaned into Hannah and said “ hannnnnah , do you want to stay in the house ?” I think I missed something . 
 

[ljenkins782]

42 minutes ago, SassyCat said:

VictoriaF and her fake insecurity about the modeling in front of people went right out the door when she hit that runway like she'd practiced for it her whole life. She walked that runway like a champ and I'm surprised she didn't win the clothes.

 

She walked great when she was alone, but she absolutely shrank into herself when walking next to Hannah, she was practically staring at the ground.I don't think she's completely faking the insecurity, I don't think this is the environment for her. She probably gets quite a lot of attention in regular settings, but this is a group of women chosen for attractiveness and a lot alpha personalities in the group.

Quote

I’m confused because maybe i missed a part . Peter seemed to whisper to Hannah that he was going back to the girls and hugged her goodbye , but was that it? 
did they show the infamous part from the previews where peter leaned into Hannah and said “ hannnnnah , do you want to stay in the house ?” I think I missed something . 

Most of the Hannah drama was last week. They did a brief recap of it and then cut to Peter saying he couldn't do this and going back to the girls.

Kudos to him for at least semi-successfully selling the idea that he might want to return to Hannah B's drama because the math just didn't add up. Go be the only man available to 30 attractive women vying for his attention OR stay and listen to Hannah (the woman who dumped him already and only returned once her Plans A and B both flamed out) rather angrily whine "Ahhhh don't knowwwwwwwuh." Hardly Sophie's choice, there. 

[JenE4]

3 hours ago, nittanycougar said:

I got a weird feeling that his mom was referring to Hannah.  I cannot imagine his mom getting that emotional about any of the other ladies.

Was it Victoria F who attended Peter’s parents’ vow renewal—or some other brunette? I think if whichever girl that was made it to the finals then Peter’s mom would be all blubbering because she “knew” she was meant to be a member of the family from night 1.

[JenE4]

Putting this in the episode thread rather than “media” since it’s nothing but memes of the champagne drama—including an awesome gif of the champagne exploding in Kelsey’s face.

Last Night "The Bachelor" Gave Us "Champagne-Gate" And I Cannot Thank Chris Harrison Enough
The bottle pop heard round the world.

Read in BuzzFeed: https://apple.news/AQFVZGoxtSl6jxoFMqvhKxA

[Lamb18]

I'm watching this now. That Kelsey, wow! I can understand her being annoyed, but she's the type of person who has to demonize someone else. It's hard to explain, but she obviously is not a happy person and deals with it finding someone to blame and turning that person into the evil one. You have to avoid that type of person because you never know when you've become the "evil one".

[Lamb18]

Did Peter give roses to all the women at the Hannah-doomed group date?

Victoria F looks a little like Meghan Make. And her faux lack of confidence is tiring.

[chocolatine]

Hannah Ann has a pancake face and her modeling poses are straight out of 80s catalogs. She may not be a champagne stealer, but she sure used the incident to her advantage to play up to Peter how "bullied" she was. Cried all night, my ass!

Janice Dickinson, once and for all, you are not the world's first supermodel. True, she was gorgeous in her modeling days, but she's made a complete joke of herself with the terrible plastic surgery and reality TV appearances.

I'm surprised it took this long for Revolve to be featured on the show. Revolve pretty much exists for the sole purpose to dress Bachelor Nation.

The kissing of absolutely everyone, connection or not, has reached unprecedented heights. I hope Peter at least swishes some mouthwash in between women.

[Lamb18]

Did Peter give roses to all the women at the Hannah-doomed group date?

Victoria F looks a little like Meghan Markle. And her faux lack of confidence is tiring.

And Jane's words of wisdom at the end were the best. Remember to cough over your farts! Although sometimes coughing causes them.

[Sweet-tea]

8 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Sometimes really pretty girls are so used to being the pretty girl in the room that they go nuts when surrounded by other beautiful women. 

I don’t believe she’s that insecure. It looked like an act to me to get attention, because she certainly seemed to come alive on the runway in the lace bodysuit. She’s a whiner.

Quote

22 HOURS AGO

It looks like Kelsey’s nose got into a fight with a plastic surgeon. 

I don’t know who lost, Kelsey or the surgeon, but he whittled her nose down to a twig. She is nuts. You’d think she’d wait a few more episodes to let her full crazy fly. At this rate she may be cut next week. 

What is the redhead’s name? Her hair is gorgeous. 

[Riplet68]

Am I the only person who thought the final runway dress was hideous?  Was it a bathing suit with a sparkly, half finished cover up?  An unfinished robe?  A dress where the person cutting the slit just kept going to the shoulder?

[EllenB]

11 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Peter’s mom sure likes the spotlight. The previews of her crying, saying “bring her home” while stroking Peter’s face...

Oh, please please please let them show that scene in full at some point, with Colm Wilkinson falsetto-warbling "Bring [Him] Home" as Mama snot-blubbers on Sonny's shirt.

[Andromeda]

Kelsey looks like she had a nose job. That nose is too narrow for her face. Janice Dickenson is a poster child for too much plastic surgery, yuck. Parts of her face look faux young and a lot looks old, and it's a disaster.

Edited January 15, 2020 by Andromeda

[Wandering Snark]

5 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

What is the redhead’s name? Her hair is gorgeous. 

That's Lexi, the red convertible girl... and now we both remember her more than Peter does/did.

[nutty1]

10 hours ago, Lamb18 said:

Victoria F looks a little like Meghan Markle. And her faux lack of confidence is tiring  

I heir thinking she reminded me of Meghan Markle also! Glad I’m not the only one. 

[jade.black]

I'm here for all of the drama this season. I don't think I've been so hyped watching previews for a Bachelor in ages. I genuinely hope he goes running back to Hannah B at the end of this... it'll be hilarious. And to be honest, I thought she should have chosen him on her season in the first place. They're both huge dorks and seemed easily the most comfortable together. Yeahh it's shitty of her to run back to him after her first 2-3 choices didn't work out, but it would be great TV, I don't even care. Besides, do you really want to see Hannah B on Paradise this summer if she's still single? (To be fair, I like her trainwreck self, but I see that is a wildly unpopular opinion here.)

Bullying is prolonged instigation/berating/ostracizing of a person, not one instance of telling someone they're a bitch and you don't like them. Like Evan and Chad! That was mutual bullying.

Don't like Hannah Ann and didn't even think she should have won the competition. Victoria and also Alexa (? the laid-back gorgeous one with the wild hair) both looked better on the runway. 

The fact that champagne-gate was led by one of the only older women in the house ("28" if you believe the chyron, although I can't actually tell what Kelsey's face looks like under that mask of contour makeup) is depressing.

Girl who wore the most banging outfit to the limo entrances, the sparkly black lace pantsuit, went home this episode. She deserves a tribute.