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  1. No time. I have to convince the newly single Kendall her path to true happiness lies in Vermont. Given her willingness (ha) to leave LA, it's an uphill battle, but I have faith in the maple.
  2. Kendall was my first Bachelor crush. I still kinda love her. I hope she's comfortable sleeping on Serena's parents' couch :( (How she convinced Serena's parents to move to LA is a mystery.) (I'm not drunk, you're drunk.)
  3. That's what voices sound like in metric.
  4. They might be paying her with a ticket back to America
  6. If Becca hadn't done whatever that was, would she have been the first person to get engaged on TV three times?
  7. What sort of dance does Tia's vagina do when she's apprehensive about Paradise ending?
  8. You can call them "one of the strongest couples" all you like, but that doesn't make it true.
  9. You can tell Noah cares for Abigail because of the passion in his voice and his animated demeanor around her.
  10. Looks like Abigail took one for the team.
  11. This may be the rum talking but if Noah hurts Abigail, I'm going to have to hunt him down and punch him.
  12. I *do* like the implied middle finger at Brendan and Pieper, but I'm content to let those two fade into obscurity.
  13. it's hard to be sure until we learn about Maurissa's vagina
  14. I didn't turn this on expecting to learn much about Tia's vagina, but HERE WE ARE.
  15. Becca is a good parallel. She also got the sympathy vote, and her season was pretty dull. (And I know they can't really screen for this but OMG she has awful taste in men.)
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