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jade.black

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  1. Matt is just SO LAME, I can't deal with it. I mean, I will- I suffered through Pilot Pete and Ben F- but why is the casting for Bachelors so freaking bad? I'm very glad there's a black bachelor, but could they not have cast Mike from a few seasons ago or super hot Demar from last season? Or (even though he was too boyish for me) Ivan? I literally cover my face when Matt goes in for a kiss with his mouth wide open and then his eyes open through the whole ordeal. It's sooo cringey. He also seems to have kind of an immature sense of humor with the ATV toppling and mud flinging last week, his fashion sense sucks, and I have never seen someone read erotica in a less sexy way. His face doesn't do it for me looks-wise (whoever said Gonzo upthread- nailed it), but I thought he'd have swag from my pre-show notions of him (mainly through his friendship with Tyler)- he does not. The girls were catty and mean this week. Like, yeah, Sarah being weepy was annoying, but they seriously bullied her. It was gross. I KNEW I liked Katie during her dildo intro!! She reminded me a bit of Lindsay from Sean's season who showed up really over the top on night 1 in her wedding dress but then turned out to be one of the cutest and most fun girls on the show.
  2. I definitely think Hawk's change of heart was genuine. Aside from looking conflicted about a few things through the season, the moment where he looks up and realizes he's fighting all of his old friends alongside the assholes who bullied him at the start of everything was a realistic wake up call. Also, you have to realize these scripts are in the same vein as those old feel good 80s/90s movies... clunky redemption stories done in the form of an epic face turn at a climactic moment are par for the course. Total nostalgia.
  3. I see that I am aggressively on my own here, but Dildo Girl was my fave. I'd totally hang out with her. Matt James does nothing for me, unfortunately, but at least I actually like him which is a relief after the agony of Colton and then, worse, Pilot Pete. He seemed really nervous, which is not what I expected from his appearances in Tyler Cameron's Insta stories. I liked that he seemed so introspective, articulate, and thoughtful about this, but I hope he becomes a little less reserved and more fun. He had dead eyes throughout the limo entrances, but it might have been him trying to keep it together under pressure. And hey, he doesn't need to be hot to me if he's doing it for these girls which seems to be the case. Why are they so YOUNG though?? I do not want to watch Tayshia/Clare's men in their mid-30s hitting on 24 year olds on BiP. It's early days and never have I picked up on what I'd call a "winner's edit" before (at least not on the Bach night 1), but I'm calling Rachael (no spoilers). She was gorgeous too, I got Alexandra Breckenridge vibes.
  4. Dude, I cried real tears watching this finale. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I seriously think Zac is one of the best guys ever on this franchise, and Tayshia got extremely lucky. The most genuine she has seemed all season was with him in this episode. I feel like she put up a really sparkly front without a lot of emotion underneath it with mostly everyone, but she actually seemed flustered and real here talking to him on their dance, last date, and during the proposal. Dammit, I hope it works out for them. It actually felt like a love story. The taxi at the end was adorable. I have a feeling I'm going to hate the majority of the contestants on Matt James's season, so don't get used to this sap fest over here.
  5. I cheered when McConaughey lookalike Zac said "Alright alright alright" in his TH. He's still my favorite, loved him dancing on the bed in a pink robe and also the end tag with the portrait painting. I think he can find someone more genuine than Tayshia but was really surprised when she said "I love you" to him. Run, Brendan, run! He gave a great breakup speech. I was annoyed the second I saw Ben's too-short pants appear on screen.
  6. My best friend and I still think Zac is super hot. Like fanning ourselves everytime he looks at her levels of hot. He's got this smoothness similar to Tyler Cameron in just being able to make whatever he says/does sexy. I was entirely jealous when he was making out with her in the fountain. She better take advantage of that fantasy suite (which, remembering her disappointment after her FS with Colton where almost certainly nothing impressive happened, I think she will). I think she's most into Brendan, but we'll see. I'm getting the same void-like impression you all seem to be from her. Big, shiny facade and mostly ego underneath. I hate when the leads want the men/women they dump to cry and beg them to keep them, it's awful. Best case scenario is for the person to calmly accept your choice and move on with their lives. Don't keep them hung up on you. Sean Lowe and that guy Chase who cracked a beer had two of the best exits I remember. No tears. Ben I find disconcerting and hard to watch, so I'm glad he's gone, but she shouldn't be trying to pull devastation out of a guy who has tried to kill himself. Ivan's dad was the CUTEST! He had a Morgan Freeman-esque voice. I'd adopt him as a father. I actually really enjoyed the makeshift hometown dates, I thought they were cute and creative. And what's with all the carnival hate? I freaking love carnivals. That and the New York date were my favorites (although yeah, blueberry on bagels=gross).
  7. I don't know what it says about me, but Zac has been my favorite main player (sadly Joe and Demar just didn't get the screentime) for awhile now and I was MORE attracted to him after hearing about his rocky past?! Plus I just like his seduction style and the way he holds eye contact. Mmm. Bennett can go now. He keeps bringing up the age difference between him and Noah, but bro, YOU are the 36 year old man fixated on the dumb 25 year old. Get over it. The gift was all kinds of cringey passive aggression. I can't wait for Tayshia to find out what's in the box (also the Seven parallels really work with Bennett's American Psycho vibes). Still hate Ben. Clinger vibes all over. It seemed like he had nothing to offer emotionally so he decided to offer his penis. Also his face is very hard to look at. And his neck is like the size of my thigh. Ew.
  8. We both had crushes on Arie from back when Emily's season aired and there was much discussion about joining up to compete, including planning ridiculous limo entrances for him. Actually, a friend of mine did write up a nomination for me but pretty sure it was like a week before his season started- not that I think I'm up for the public humiliation that goes along with appearing on the Bachelor, haha.
  9. Saber, we were almost Arie co-competitors and we're birthday buddies too?! Mine is tomorrow! Tennisgurl, sorry for jamming your notifications by liking basically ALL of your posts but we must ride the exact same wavelength. I swear you are reading my mind every episode, haha. (PS I would also dig a ghost hunting birthday date) Glad more people are picking up on Ben's creepiness. What the hell was Tayshia thinking this rose ceremony? Joe (JOE!), Jordan, and Kenny all gone in the same episode? Not cool! I can't believe she isn't giving Demar more credit either and expect him (as my other favorite) to get cut shortly even though he's ridiculously hot and articulate and sweet. He should've won the song challenge. I'm sure Tayshia picked out her winner before they even competed. I actually doubt the BLM talk was producer motivated or Tayshia would have been more prepared. It's really not uncommon to come up naturally in the current climate. I've done a lot of app dating this year (10/10 do not recommend, ugh) and I've had a lot of conversations about it as well, even on first dates. It's at the forefront of a lot of people's minds and seemed like a natural progression from Ivan talking about his brother. I was very impressed with how well he expressed himself but was equally UNimpressed with Tayshia. I feel like she had nothing to contribute and started crying to mask how little thought she had on the topic. Ivan is great though, I think he needs someone with more depth (and I say that as someone who does like Tayshia). It has been great to see so many real life conversations this season though- not just this one but talks with the other guys that seemed relevant and glaringly lacking in Bachelor cliches. Overall this is the most fun season I've watched in a long time though! Tayshia is definitely my favorite b'ette since Emily in how well they handle the guys (I'm going to ignore Tayshia's rose ceremony chastising for now). Plus these guys are just awesome, genuinely enjoyable to watch and I'd have a beer with almost all of them. Aside from the smoothies, I actually loved the truth or dare date. The phone orgasms and Chris with his crab legs had me cracking up.
  10. Last week when the fireworks went off after her Brandon date, Demar was standing at the resort with one of the other guys (can't remember which) and they were talking about what a romantic moment Tayshia must be having, but the camera was filming them from behind standing super close with their heads tilted towards each other and I just thought- YOU TWO are having the cuter moment, guys! Adorable. Speaking of Demar, he and Joe have been my favorites since day 1 on looks alone and I'm so excited to find out I'm justified in my love for them. Demar always has the prettiest smile on his face (and it looks genuine), and while I usually hate when contestants write poetry, he delivered it in a really charming way. And he brought her a mimosa for the bed and breakfast challenge! Yes, please! And Joe is just amazing, his "smack talk" during the wrestling date was the best, and then they showed him sharing some delicious looking Asian bowl with Tayshia later on and showing family photos. Aw! Oh and I loved his ponytail. Chasen is just every dumb hot douchey dude at the bar who never had to work for women in high school and have never matured past then either. If I have to hear him say "smokeshow" or "Wolverine" one more time... I do think Bennett is condescending and smug as hell but damn he's still hot, and I'm super entertained watching him. I'm bougie too, Bennett! Loved that Tayshia zeroed in on that as a quality she appreciated, haha. I like how he stirred the pot between Chasen and Ed and then just backed off to watch the drama unfold without getting any of the negative backlash. Did none of these people recognize Lita from WWE?! Omg! I'm a wrestling fan and I would have been so hyped. I love how articulate Tayshia is and how she isn't afraid to speak her mind regardless of the situation. A lot of leads let the contestants dictate their time, but Tayshia is really in control of her own season. The way she handled Chasen was great too- telling him she thought this was petty and needed to be buried. I also really like Zac and how she saw and appreciated his suaveness and maturity. Ok, surprised that I seem to be in a minority here, but my LEAST favorite person right now is Ben. I find him completely cringey. When he had that one on one talk with her where he said seeing her walk across the room makes him want to grab her because she belongs next to him and that his big regret was not being able to just kiss her all day, I was totally squicked out. Major clinger vibes and red flags from him, in my opinion.
  11. WOW. This is the most uncomfortable, cringey season ever. I felt like I needed a drink after both this week's and last week's episodes. Like I spend half of them covering my face, they're that hard to watch. Clare has so many awesome, attractive guys there who seem genuinely like a fun and easy-going bunch, and she's treating them like shit. She and Dale are like high school freshmen giggling and sneaking around together and bullshitting about it. I can't even count the amount of horrendous things she did to the other guys in this episode but refusing to give out a group date rose after a party where she coerced them to talk abotu Dale the whole time just caps it. Like how many shows have you been on, Clare, and you can't even PRETEND to play the game?? That's not how this works! Plenty of other B'ettes picked out their guys on day 1 and were still mature enough to be courteous and show interest in the other men. Hand out other roses. Actually go on your freaking dates. I didn't like the way Zach J grabbed her neck after she (super weirdly) pulled away from him mid-leaning in for a kiss, but she didn't even bother explaining to him why she was triggered or why she (again, SUPER WEIRDLY) backed away just as she was going to kiss him, and he obviously left thinking it was because she thought he pulled back and not because he aggressively tried to turn her back towards him afterwards. Yosef was a grade A dick, and I hope he gets torn apart worse than Clare after this episode. "Ashamed to be associated with you"? Ok, asshole. You don't speak to women (or anyone) like that, plus IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR SHOW, BRO. Let me just praise the other guys here since Clare obviously isn't going to. Demar is HOT. Bennett is hot with his glasses and his scarves and martinis and his whole Bruce Wayne/Elijah (from Vampire Diaries/Originals) vibes and looking comfortable as hell putting on that tux. Zac C looks like a weird hybrid of Matt McConaughey/Pauly Shore/Jerome Flynn (Bronn from GoT) and it's working for me. I find Joe (?)- the Korean guy- really attractive. And Riley last week got me with his smooth talk and dancing. These are some QUALITY MEN, CLARE. Arrghh. Please, Tayshia, show them the appreciation they deserve... Her emerging from that pool was like a fantasy for all of us suffering through this season.
  12. I am SUPER late to the game here, but I just finished six seasons of this show in an obsessive binge and have many thoughts and no one to share them with (since it's 2020 and they're not relevant anymore). I really started the series because I figured I'd hardcore ship Chuck & Blair, which I did, and it was the motivating factor in my love for the show. I am so happy that they consistently wrote the two of them as soulmates through the whole series (unlike most shows where the couples will have other serious relationships and you think they might have dropped the pairing- even Pacey and Joey the first year of college seemed done for good). I was pleasantly surprised their pairing happened so quickly in season 1 and never quit from there on out. They never let you forget that Chuck & Blair had a connection, even during Raina, Dan, Louis, Eva... Plus, I loved the little touches of Chuck and Blair remembering all the tiny details about each other that showed they appreciated one another for who they were, not just for their connection ("You obviously don't know Chuck, he has a thing for roofs", "Blair, you're wearing your beret, who are we spying on?" and so on). My main issue was that they seemed afraid to write them together, officially, and it suffered for that in that later seasons. I thought Chuck/Blair in seasons 1, 2, and 4 (return of their rivalry, hate sex leading to real sex, realizing they're still in love- I actually thought season 4 was beautiful) were fantastic, and the first half of season 5 as well, but in seasons 3, second half of 5, and 6 it was a mess. It seemed like Chuck's speech to Blair in season 2 (one of my fave scenes) about why they couldn't be together (the games will end, Chuck & Blair don't go to movies/hold hands, etc) was meta- the writers basically saying that the couple won't be the same once they're actually a couple. And I was fine with them holding off for those first two seasons, because somehow it wasn't tiring, and their chemistry and sexual tension was incredible. I expected them to do a good job of writing them together in season 3, but I actually thought season 3 was the worst writing-wise overall. I liked that they were written as functional together (pre-hotel incident), but somehow everyone's lines just seemed off. Blair all of a sudden came off a bit like a caricature with the NYU stuff, I didn't buy the hotel plot, hated that Chuck was about to rush a proposal in a hotel lobby in the finale. I just didn't enjoy the way the relationship was written... I thought maybe it was the whole transition out of high school that was hurting it, but then season 4 felt back to normal quality again. The trajectory of the relationship felt on point until the car crash halfway through season 5 and then the writing just took such a nosedive. I didn't even hate Dan/Blair as an idea (and the two had chemistry), I just hated how they got there. Blair made a pact with God? Um, what? That's literally the best they could come up with to keep Chuck and Blair apart? Then all the bullshit about how Chuck needs to destroy his father in season 6? I even thought Blair's backing out after the Heaven & Hell ball (and after that beautiful kiss on the balcony in front of the crowd) because she wanted to be successful without him was reaching. They just kept throwing nonsensical obstacles in the way despite the fact that both Chuck and Blair at various times had been ready to put everything aside to commit- it just never could be at the same time. While I'm glad they ended up together, the last season was a wreck (I'll detail their ending in my overall complaints about season 6 in a minute), but they were by far the most wildly enjoyable couple I've ever watched on TV and had the most insane chemistry, so the show has my love forever for giving us that. There was like a magnetic field there and every bit of emotion and body language those actors put out just nailed it. Unfortunately, most of the cast didn't have the same type of charisma and I found most of their plots tedious. Leighton Meester and Penn Badgely (as separate entities) had the best comedic delivery out of the whole cast, so they were enjoyable to watch for that. Dan as a character though really suffered as the series went on, but I see that the majority of people overwhelmingly agree with me, so no need to detail that! I actually did like Jenny, helped by the fact that she also had my favorite style on the whole show (the goth/rocker look is my aesthetic), and she was the only actress I missed a bit after she left. Vanessa was a joyless black hole, I wish she'd been more like her book counterpart. Nate was so pretty and I will say I enjoyed him as probably the most decent person out of the bunch- his friendships (with Dan and Chuck primarily, but with the main cast of girls as well) were my favorites to watch. I never bought Blair and Serena as great friends with the amount of backstabbing and the absolute bare minimum they had in common. Blake Lively just never had the chemistry and sparkle that the mythical Serena van der Woodsen should have had. Between her trademark mumbly delivery (she always sounded drunk) and her blank acting, I couldn't get into her character at all. She was best with Nate, but even Nate I preferred with Jenny. I can totally relate to being flighty, and I understand her character and the whole "so pretty/magnetic I never need to work for anything, can string guys along, etc etc" and even thought she sold being a sweet person despite all of that in the early seasons, but by season 5 somehow she'd just turned into a gigantic bitch. There were multiple times in the last two seasons that I just couldn't reconcile the scheming Serena was doing with who she'd been earlier on, so I guess her ending up with Dan was fitting in that sense. Honestly, despite the weak second half of season 5 and my lack of love for season 3, I thought they'd manage to tie up season 6 nicely despite only having 10 episodes, but what the hell was that?! It was just so BORING. First, bringing Bart Bass back from the dead was not only unnecessary, it cheapened the trauma and growth that Chuck went through trying to cope when Bart initially had died. They wasted the majority of the season on filler- Stephen and Sage? Ivy? Why?- instead of working towards a satisfying ending involving the characters that actually mattered. Then, the last two episodes were a total rush job trying to get everybody in place for their conclusion. What the actual fuck was that action-movie bit with Bart Bass falling off the roof ending they did in the penultimate? Like, the music was even so cheesy that for a minute I wondered if Blair was having one of her cinematic fever dreams. Then, after spending six seasons keeping their main couple apart for increasingly unbelievable and aggravating reasons, they just marry them off in a two minute ceremony so they can't testify against each other? Come on. They totally had earned a wedding by season 6, they could have written a finale based around it in SO many better ways after spending the first 9 episodes with appropriate buildup. I even would have liked to see some of the other endgame couples develop a bit more (Georgina and Jack, for one! What a perfect match!). So yeah, this was overall a crazy enjoyable ride, but I'm still left feeling disappointed in what could have been more. Ugh. ETA: Two minor details I forgot to mention- It drove me nuts that they never showed Chuck with his shirt off (I assume because of Ed Westwick's tattoos?). It just looked so silly when he'd lay down next to Blair, who would be wearing a silk nighty, and he'd still be in his full suit complete with socks (or worse, those long sleeve pajamas they put him in sometimes). Also, I actually paused my TV to read one of Dan's great literary works- the story about Charlie Trout in s2 or s3- and it was just TERRIBLE. Like horribly written. So that's always added another layer to the absurdity of Dan becoming some kind of best selling author, haha.
  13. My favorite bit of watching this was the post-show clip when Clare called for Chris to help her pick up the knight's armor, and I commented, "Say Chris Harrison's name three times and he materializes," to which my friend's husband responded, "He is bound to the manor." Anyway, Clare seems to have an AWESOME group of men and I'm kind of jealous. So many of them seem genuinely fun, maybe because it's actually a mature older group! I was upset she sent home the good-humored guy who had early selfie video clips in his hotel bathtub, and I suppose the tall guy because he was pretty hot, but she kept around most of the cute ones. I also liked how she handled the early on drama and sent home WV guy who instigated it without a second thought. Can't wait to see this play out (despite the media already spoiling plenty of it)! Get it, Clare!
  14. First of all: THERE ARE NO WILD MONKEYS IN AUSTRALIA, DUMBASS. My first assumption having lived in Oz for a bit was that the girls were all sharing a room because it's so damn expensive there. Peter is disgusting. Like, I almost need to look away from the screen, I'm so grossed out by him. I can hardly even place what it is. Something about his boyish face mixed with him constantly having his hands on the girls' faces and in their hair, insisting on touching foreheads while he "talks" to them, and by talk I mean stare intensely at them while they're trying to express feelings and then interrupt them with a middle school makeout. I felt this way watching his amateur moves on Hannah's season (when he got on top of her in the sauna it looked like a freshman practicing his moves). I would cringe at the thought of him even touching me. Then, the way he handled the Madison situation. I am unspoiled, but it's seemed pretty clear for awhile now that she's his #1. She sat him down after the rose ceremony and laid out for him (poorly, but she still got the basic point across) that she might not continue in this if he sleeps with other women. That's totally fair. I don't know why people are acting like it's expected for the lead to sleep with all of the women, or any. Plenty of past leads have not done that, and others have been called out for doing so (Emily clearly thought Brad would have saved it for her, Nick thought Andi sleeping with him meant he was F1, etc). She basically was saying, hey, if I'm the one, I would expect you not to be with anyone else, but I'm not shaming you for sleeping around if that's what you want to do- I'm just probably not the one for you if that's your decision. She is not the same as Luke, because Luke made assumptions that Hannah would not sleep with anyone else and waited until the overnight date to mention this like it was a fact, while Madison told Peter ahead of time that she couldn't come to terms with it if he slept with other people but that he had every right to do so if it was his choice. Peter heard this, went and slept with (most likely) both women before her, then acted like he had nothing to answer for when Madison told him she would need a basic yes or no on his actions to know if he was the right one for her. Then he follows her just to put on an overwrought apology without ever explaining what he was sorry for, pulling her face to his (fuck, that move is so cringey) and just trying to transmit his regret through their foreheads until she walked away. The thing is, he's not sorry! He knew upfront that this could be a dealbreaker for her and did it anyway. Getting tearful over your own actions when you knew the other person would not be ok with them in the first place is manipulative and shitty. Screw you, Peter, you don't deserve the girl and you better not go chasing her back to Alabama. Just let her take the Bachelorette gig and settle down into your "exciting" life of probable domestic abuse and adultery with Victoria.
  15. Enough has been said about Victoria (she's horrible), but I also tend to think the fact that his ex didn't sign a release to show her face lends some credibility to her. I do wish she'd have been more specific about Victoria's history, and if I were Peter, I would have asked her to have a drink with me and elaborate. BUT, my main turn-off this episode was Peter after Hannah Ann said she loved him. He said to the camera that it feels so good that "SOMEBODY" feels that way about him- not that Hannah feels that way, just that somebody feels that way. Then he continued saying he has just been looking for validation and is so glad to have gotten it. Red flags all over. He just wants the ego boost and will take anyone who gives it to him. I really hope Madison escapes next week.
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