Season 6 Discussion

[TaraS1]

Colty lol.  It sounds like something his mother would call him.  "Mommy loves you, Colty!"

So just how far removed from civilization is Samwa?  Because I was not expecting Asuelo to be fascinated by things like buildings and doors.  And for the record, I would have had the same kind of horrified, second-hand embarrassment Kalani had at his dancing, but the difference is that I wouldn't have let him know it.  He wasn't trying to be an asshole, he wanted to impress her.  No need to crush his spirit.

[Palomar]

12 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Fernanda won me over with that Southern accent. 19 is young and he's probably her first truly serious relationship. She's all in. It's a lot harder to accept that there were others before you at that age because she hasn't really had others before her. She needs a little time to grow up and mature. But she is smarter than she looks and probably too good for him... that will all depend on how truly ready he is to settle down.

 

I really liked Fernanda too! I think her fiancé's friends are seeing her as a novelty act or entertainment and that their welcome is not exactly genuine.  Especially with the "wall" and other remarks.  Jeez, you have to show your political leanings the first time you meet her. She seems the type who will stick up for herself at least.  I am rooting for her, even though it is very possible they crash and burn and she returns home.

Larissa is complaining about Vegas not being like New York or Beverly Hills? LV is not exactly small town America. There are a LOT of opportunities for her there.  I think once she meets "Mom" she will have a lot more to complain about than that.  Not having AC in Vegas in insane....I do agree with her there. 

[Dance4Life]

11 hours ago, jumper sage said:

He did seem kind of more mature this episode.  Color me surprised.

Leida's sister is my favorite person.  She knows her sister won't do well and she is right.

Since when is the "great American breakfast" a burrito?  Yuck!  When I think of a welcome breakfast I think of eggs, bacon, toast, different kinds of jams/jellies, pancakes or waffles, hot and cold cereals with fruit, fruit, different beverages,  a nice spread from savory to sweet.

 

Did you see how he brought the pack of tortillas to the table like a bag of chips?  Excuse me! Those need to be heated up on the comal. Fernanda was cringing last night.

 

Did y’all notice they fed Fernanda grocery store Fried Chicken and then they told her to eat with her hands....??? ? 

Edited October 29, 2018 by Dance4Life

[TaraS1]

1 minute ago, Dance4Life said:

Did y’all notice they fed Fernanda grocery store Fried Chicken and then they told her to eat with her hands....??? ? 

And called that bread cornbread!  Sorry, no, not where I come from it isn't.  I'd show a clip of it to my dad (one of the great cornbread makers and eaters in this country) but he has a bad heart.

[Dance4Life]

I had a change of heart.....until next week.......I guess! ? 

 

Colt is revealing himself. He is NOT on the spectrum. He is controlling with abusive tendencies.

 

He knows how to manipulate needy women. That cat dad thing is just to exert power.  I am gonna treat this cat better than you! First, his mom.  He is living off his mom and treats her like a cook, maid and chauffeur.

 

Leida totally missed out on that Deal! And, Vegas.  Wealthy Asians love Vegas.

 

Now, Larissa. I am sorry, but I can forget about the flowers. He is CHEAP! But, your Fiancé is melting in your car! The heat and the travel exhaustion is making her cranky and this Colt is loving it!

 

Offer to take her to an air conditioned cafe for a refreshing drink. Light bites. 

The Las Vegas sign????  I guess, why not?  It is free! 

 

Pole might be a weirdo and an arsonist but he showed up in Brazil with 20 trunks full of goodies and spoils Karine with sweets and teddy bears.  Made Karine his wife and gave her an anchor baby! Pole is also making good effort to learn Portuguese. Fala! Fala! Karine! Lol!

Edited October 29, 2018 by Dance4Life
Boxes keep popping up!

[Dance4Life]

5 minutes ago, TaraS1 said:

And called that bread cornbread!  Sorry, no, not where I come from it isn't.  I'd show a clip of it to my dad (one of the great cornbread makers and eaters in this country) but he has a bad heart.

That flat bread they showed???  Lol

The meal was not tasty looking. Were they trying to cook Southern???

 

The Banquet meatball pot pie from the commercials looked 100x better.  It was golden and flaky straight from microwave, too!

[bichonblitz]

Sorry, don't know all the names yet: 

Colt and his mommy are two of the most depressing individuals ever.  I can not wait until Larissa see's her new American dream home! This is going to be goooood. Hope she likes sleeping with cats and eating mommy's delicious cooking every night.

The dumbass with the pregnant Russian. This is total lunacy! I want to know where this loser is living and how he plans on supporting this girl and kid. Did the grandparents even bother asking him that?

So the realtor didn't even bother to have a bed in his new place knowing this fiancee was on the way. I guess he spends too much of his time drinking beers at the neighborhood bar and showing houses that he doesn't sell. The house of his friends did not look like the house of any 30 something's. Very nice but.... traditional older people furniture, formal dining room, perfect dinnerware, heavy drapes on the windows. I wonder if that was really their friends house or one of the friend's parents house. 

Leita's son is an adorable child. Please, 90 days, stop dragging innocent children in front of the camera, it's just not right! 

So far (and we haven't see much yet), Samoa guy is too good for his baby mama and her nasty family. 

[Dance4Life]

Steven take the DNA test. 

We have a white couple on this franchise claiming to be parents of a black child.  Just sayin! 

Olga you are so lucky 90 Day Fiancé producers called y’all back!

Or, else you would be a single mom in Russia. Your anchor baby plan worked! 

 

I think Eric took his New Family to the woods because he is buying time. He is hoping Old Family Daughter has moved out by the time he gets back.  He needs the room for New Son. Or, he is hoping his Wealthy Wife to-be offers to pay half the bills. 

Maybe she is not the maid.  The sister said....Mom & Dad are coming to America! 

Perhaps, the wedding. Hahahahahahahah! 

[CoachWristletJen]

28 minutes ago, Dance4Life said:

Did you see how he brought the pack of tortillas to the table like a bag of chips?  Excuse me! Those need to be heated up on the comal. Fernanda was cringing last night.

 

Did y’all notice they fed Fernanda grocery store Fried Chicken and then they told her to eat with her hands....??? ? 

I noticed that it looked store bought. And in the South no less! I was surprised by that, too. I could only guess that the hostess was overwhelmed by having things in order for the cameras. Still, I would have had home fried chicken, and just asked for help from my friends if I needed it. Or, better yet, serve something that is a little easier to eat with a camera in my face!

[CoachWristletJen]

25 minutes ago, Dance4Life said:

I had a change of heart.....until next week.......I guess! ? 

 

Colt is revealing himself. He is NOT on the spectrum. He is controlling with abusive tendencies.

 

He knows how to manipulate needy women. That cat dad thing is just to exert power.  I am gonna treat this cat better than you! First, his mom.  He is living off his mom and treats her like a cook, maid and chauffeur.

 

Leida totally missed out on that Deal! And, Vegas.  Wealthy Asians love Vegas.

 

Now, Larissa. I am sorry, but I can forget about the flowers. He is CHEAP! But, your Fiancé is melting in your car! The heat and the travel exhaustion is making her cranky and this Colt is loving it!

 

Offer to take her to an air conditioned cafe for a refreshing drink. Light bites. 

The Las Vegas sign????  I guess, why not?  It is free! 

 

Pole might be a weirdo and an arsonist but he showed up in Brazil with 20 trunks full of goodies and spoils Karine with sweets and teddy bears.  Made Karine his wife and gave her an anchor baby! Pole is also making good effort to learn Portuguese. Fala! Fala! Karine! Lol!

I never thought he was on the spectrum either. Just didn't impress me that way in the least. And, I'll bet he surprises his fur babies more often with catnip than he does his new bride with flowers or other treats. In fact, flowers will probably be the one this he does NOT buy her unless it is producer prompted. 

I do tend to blame his problems on his mother who is a very willing "servant" and a servant who has been very much in charge. My guess is that the power dynamic has shifted with Colt seizing the reins somewhat by threatening to leave. Not sure what happened to his dad, but Mother is obviously very rattled by the prospect of her second man leaving! Lighten up, Mom! Don't you want Grandkids?

Pol uses trinkets to make women think he's not abusive. Colt delights in them reading the subtext.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

I loved Fernanda for saying that she appreciated that they cooked her a "whole table" of food. That's someone who is genuine on the inside and I like how she expressed her appreciation for the effort no matter how inedible or weird it seemed to her (and us). Gracious comment. Non gracious? Looking at YOU chicken feet Family Chantel! 

[usernameG]

Eric is totally domineering. I think somewhere in his brain that he actually thinks he's giving Leida a better life in America. I look forward to her making his life miserable when she realizes he has nothing.

Edited October 29, 2018 by usernameG

[Stardancer Supreme]

Leida is not wealthy. Her parents are, and she is actively trying to get away from them.   She picked poorly and Eric will certainly regret trying to come up from her.

I learned from my ex-husband that there is a way to load luggage in a small space without damaging the luggage or whatever the luggage is loaded with.  Eric was just cramming bags in willy nilly where he thought they might fit. I didn't like the shrieking, though.  Leida could have told him how to do it calmly instead of assuming that he knew how to properly load luggage and freaking out when he obviously didn't know how to do that..

[sasha206]

2 hours ago, gunderda said:

I think I have a similar personality to Kalani - I would have been done the same as her and been SO embarrassed.  The guy was stripped down in the middle of an airport! Not to mention those floors are probably so filthy. 

Same here.

I would have been cringing over that type of display, whether it is a cultural thing or not.

[greekmom]

11 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

When she saw the big dent in his hood, she should have run back into the terminal and flown home. I would have.

If Dolt wanted to impress Larissa, he should have taken her in the evening on the strip to the fountain and to see the hotel lights.  If I was Larissa I would do the following:  1. ignore the icky Oedipus complex, 2. Demand to have Dolt take me to all the hot spots on the strip, 3. enjoy the time as a vacation, part ways as friends and then go back to Brazil and fish for a better opportunity. But above all! Sleep with the bedroom door locked. 

11 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Asuelu (I don't have the heart to give him a nickname) is shaping up to be a tragic figure.

This is a 23 yr old man from a tropical island with a gentle climate, a house that needs no walls, near a beautiful beach, and accustomed to a routine of gathering firewood, cleaning up coconuts, feeding pigs, and I guess working at the resort where he met and wooed 30 yr old Stale Virgin Kalani and knocked her up (see my earlier rant about sex education). He is young, simple, with a carefree, upbeat demeanor. There is something very likeable and touching about him.

The moment he greets Kalani at the airport, with his joyous Samoan slap dance and song, their worlds clash as, rather than being appreciative, she winces in embarrassment. He says in the talking head "I feel so happiness - I wanted to make her feel proud of me" while she looks on with a condescending expression on her face. Kalani's attitude was not lost on one of the women watching Asuelu's greeting: "If things don't work out with her, call me!" - even passers-by can see from a distance that this isn't going to work out.

Driving the point home of how far apart their worlds are, he wants to carry on in the airport and in the car bare-footed. He finds the streets too wide (it's true!) and is frightened of fast driving.

However, meeting his son, he is right at home, holding him, smiling, playing with him. This man has a good and kind heart.

But he is up against insurmountable odds.

• Kalani: "I'm going to have to teach him how to act in the USA"
• Kalani's father: "Rule number one, disrespect my daughter and you will have issues."
• Kalani: "I've been without support, he's going to have to contribute"
• Kalani's mother expects him to fulfill the role of father and provider... in America.
• Kalani's sister has been told he's a cheater.

They have laid down the rules and expectations of upper middle class American life that he will be required to fulfill quickly, or else.

How on Earth will he even be able to even come close? The world he left behind is irreconcilably different.

"Kalani's family don't like me" he says softly, breaking my heart.

@Toaster Strudel you are right.  This guy so far is my favourite and I feel so bad he's mixed up with these losers. I really wonder, did Kalani think about what Asuelu will be doing in the States once he's here and able to work?  Besides, his farm work he did work at the resort.  At best, he gets a minimum wage job to start off at some hotel in LA.  

[LGGirl]

My guess is vacation Colt and Vegas Colt are two different people.  On vacation, away from his mom, Colt was probably a decent, fun guy.  Now in Vegas, mother is pulling the strings.  Since, Colt is a software engineer, he must make a good living and easily can afford another car.  Pretty sure mother thinks one car without air conditioning is good enough.  Easier to keep her son in line. Yeah, Larissa is in for a world of hurt.   Debbie will use every trick in her book to make Larissa’s life miserable.  

Eric is just a jerk   He deserves the hell Leida will give him   

Steven is attempting to do the right thing.  I wish him well.  

Kalani, Ashley and Jon want to marry vacation flings that are considerably younger.  We know how that works out   Maybe they should have a chat with Molly about that first.  

Edited October 29, 2018 by LGGirl

[LocalGovt]

13 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

Coltielle is in for a world of hurt. Send that ungrateful bitch back to where she came from and count your blessings you came to your senses. When she was complaining about the heat, and not the beautiful city she expected ... pour a bucket of ice on that chick. He took her to the Las Vegas sign, the most famous landmark in the city, for cryin’ out loud!

The kid going to Russia, I am in agreement with his grandma. He’s a mess.

Jamaican guy and the blonde, I think they are the one couple that will be happy together.

NC guy and his booby-prize, I don’t know ... 

Poor Schmuck and his Indonesian princess, send her and her family home. You will never be able to provide her enough luxury to keep her happy. She asks for a maid right out of the gate. Looks around the cabin like she’s living in a hovel. If she said “proper” one more time I was going to throw something at the TV. STFU!!

My gosh !! Those Indonesian sisters -- they were so rude when they were talking to what's his name (sorry, I can't recall names yet -- too early in the season). They sure turned their noses up at that cabin, and the breakfast that they didn't have to cook for themselves.

I am torn by Colt -- I know others have mentioned he might be on the spectrum due to this inability to discern her emotions, yet he spoke very eloquently to his mom, when he said he hoped they would grow together, and they would need their privacy.

The NC realtor and the child bride....his friends seemed very welcoming to her.

[sasha206]

I just can't get over how a kid who has no high school education, is homeless essentially, and I'm going to guess barely works as a server, will be able to handle the care and feeding of a baby. 

[CoachWristletJen]

16 minutes ago, Stardancer Supreme said:

Leida is not wealthy. Her parents are, and she is actively trying to get away from them.   She picked poorly and Eric will certainly regret trying to come up from her.

 

I think the one thing that caused her to leave her life of luxury was the absolute constant shame and judgement her family makes her feel. She's Kalani's soul sister in that type of suffering. 

The only difference is, despite the occasional temper spat, Leida doesn't seem to be a soul crushing B.

The rich girl braggadocio is super annoying, but I think Leida's doing it out of insecurity because she's probably been beaten down by her family ten one too many times. She thinks all that posturing will make us 'big rich Americans' like her and think that she's cool somehow.

Eric was the first guy to pay her a compliment or two and make her feel good about herself, and the way she latched onto this mess of flaws is a testament to how sad and lonely she was surrounded by her family. "Who is going to take care of Alless?" her sister asks, archly. "Me," Leida says, meekly trying to assert herself.  Not, "I will, and I will do it correctly." 

Sister looks on disapprovingly. Clearly, this near doctor beauty pageant winner cannot be trusted by them to adequately look after her own son. Hers has been a soul crushing existence. Eric's American Dream facade was a quick, easy escape from the gilded Indonesian cage, and one she doesn't want to have to think about too much. 

This couple actually interests me even more than the Dolt triangle. I've been trying to figure them out and I think the answer has been right in front of me all along. Eric's flaws are a testament to how bad Leida's family has made her feel about herself on the inside, and how very desperate she is to get away from them!

Why won't her rich family spring for a fancy NYC hotel room? First of all because by U.S. standards, they're not that rich. They know that their money won't go nearly as far over here. Second, they want to see what Eric's made of, what the dashing groom can actually provide.  He probably is kind of cheap, but he also doesn't have very much as is indicated by his apartment. I'm sure his wife got the house and he feels stripped by the divorce.

[GrannySmith]

1 hour ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I noticed that it looked store bought. And in the South no less! I was surprised by that, too. I could only guess that the hostess was overwhelmed by having things in order for the cameras. Still, I would have had home fried chicken, and just asked for help from my friends if I needed it. Or, better yet, serve something that is a little easier to eat with a camera in my face!

Publix fried chicken. Is delicious. 

[sasha206]

4 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I think the one thing that caused her to leave her life of luxury was the absolute constant shame and judgement her family makes her feel. She's Kalani's soul sister in that type of suffering. 

The only difference is, despite the occasional temper spat, Leida doesn't seem to be a soul crushing B.

The rich girl braggadocio is super annoying, but I think Leida's doing it out of insecurity because she's probably been beaten down by her family ten one too many times. She thinks all that posturing will make us 'big rich Americans' like her and think that she's cool somehow.

Eric was the first guy to pay her a compliment or two and make her feel good about herself, and the way she latched onto this mess of flaws is a testament to how sad and lonely she was surrounded by her family. "Who is going to take care of Alless?" her sister asks, archly. "Me," Leida says, meekly trying to assert herself.  Not, "I will, and I will do it correctly." 

Sister looks on disapprovingly. Clearly, this near doctor beauty pageant winner cannot be trusted by them to adequately look after her own son. Hers has been a soul crushing existence. Eric's American Dream facade was a quick, easy escape from the gilded Indonesian cage, and one she doesn't want to have to think about too much. 

This couple actually interests me even more than the Dolt triangle. I've been trying to figure them out and I think the answer has been right in front of me all along. Eric's flaws are a testament to how bad Leida's family has made her feel about herself on the inside, and how very desperate she is to get away from them!

Why won't her rich family spring for a fancy NYC hotel room? First of all because by U.S. standards, they're not that rich. They know that their money won't go nearly as far over here. Second, they want to see what Eric's made of, what the dashing groom can actually provide.  He probably is kind of cheap, but he also doesn't have very much as is indicated by his apartment. I'm sure his wife got the house and he feels stripped by the divorce.

Of could it be that Leida is just a narcissistic asshole?  Maybe she had loving parents whose only flaw was entitling her?  And they've finally reached the end of their rope?

[TaraS1]

1 hour ago, Dance4Life said:

That flat bread they showed???  Lol

Yep lol.  We call that fried bread.  And it is delicious, but it is not cornbread.

[Rt66vintage]

Ok, as of yet unspoken, but front and center, are Colt's and Eric's happity bedroom expectations.

We can assume both men had wonderful, lovely nights with their women on vacation, possibly beyond their wildest imaginations. Of course they are assuming the women felt the same, and are eager to resume their out-of-this-world sexual chemistry. 

Colt told his mother, in a serious tone that Larissa was the first woman he had "been with," and Debbie solemnly agreed, "I know." At the airport Colt's primary conversation was "you look great", said at least three times. He mentioned a couple of times how he just wanted to lay with her in the bed, watching movies and other bed-related nonsense. He must be a dullard to expect this activity again without any effort on his part to romance her, except tell her how great she looks (was his tongue hanging out?) He said he can't wait to "give her a tour of where she'll be living." I can't wait either. 

Eric demonstrated the same behavior, except he did spring for a 2-bedroom cabin. I did not see any meal or refreshment offered, just "here's your room" and "boy, I'm tired" hint, hint. I can't believe he's only 40, looks 60. The family Leida descending the next day promises to be a shit-show that I'm totally in for. 

Thank you all for enhancing this program so much! 

[SnarkEnthusiast]

Asuelo and Kalani's relationship is odd. The way she bragged and swooned about losing her virginity to him, I thought he was going to be a player like Jay or a musclehead. But he talks and acts like an elementary schooler. That combined with the fact that she scolds him to stop opening doors like a toddler makes me much more bothered by the age difference for some reason than with the other couples. Kalani has a serious case of arrested development going on. She's 30, so I need her to stop acting like an 18-year-old aspiring YouTuber. Those constant little silly voices that she does for her own amusement are very reminiscent of Jazz Jennings, who is also half her age. Stop trying to act like a cutesy teen. She and her sister clearly think of themselves as plus sized Kardashians.

Did anyone else notice that when Colt And Mother were talking about seating arrangements between Brazilian couples and Colt said that couples sit next to each other, his mom said something like "Maybe you'd be sitting next to me"? Yikes. And bragging about the fact that you might also be having sex at the same time as your adult son came off as Mother trying to make herself feel better about her son's pending sex life and also like she was really hoping to make him jealous? There's a lot of Bates Motel shit to unpack there.

Call me crazy, but I actually like the kid from Maryland. At least his idiocy is age-appropriate. He seems very devoted to the concept of being a father and doing right by his girlfriend even if she's thousands of miles away in a country he's hardly ever heard of. I laughed when he said the only thing he knew about Russia prior to knocking up his girlfriend was the fact that they had cold winters. Dedicating yourself to raise a child in Russia for the first few months is a big undertaking for a 20-year-old high school dropout who's never even been on a plane. And all this for a summer fling that you know was probably 95% drinking, smoking weed, and sex. His intentions are good – we'll see how long that lasts once the baby arrives and the visa paperwork stays in purgatory forever. What's up with all the surprise foreigner pregnancies this season?

George Washington Teeth Larissa needs to shut the fuck up. Repeating "Where are my flowers?" 27 times like a two-year-old. I'm sure saying same sentence over and over again will definitely get Colt to do whatever you want! For someone who obviously sees herself as the ultimate Internet temptress, her personality and tactics are somewhere in between insufferably pouty toddler and malfunctioning robot. @millennium was right though - It's hilarious watching her sultry come hither faces and spoiled little girl antics have zero impact on Colt, whereas Jonathan would be absolute putty in Fer's hands. "I'm not buying you $20 flowers, that's as much as I paid for parking!" HA. 

Edited October 29, 2018 by SnarkEnthusiast

[Granny58]

2 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

Colt is revealing himself. He is NOT on the spectrum. He is controlling with abusive tendencies.

 

He knows how to manipulate needy women. That cat dad thing is just to exert power.  I am gonna treat this cat better than you! First, his mom.  He is living off his mom and treats her like a cook, maid and chauffeur.

Even though I have a favorable (or at least sympathetic) impression of Colt at the moment, I could totally see this being the case.  I think of all the participants this season, the best we can say is "I think such and such SO FAR."  

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

likes sleeping with cats

confession...I like sleeping with cats.

[lucy711]

29 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Of could it be that Leida is just a narcissistic asshole?  Maybe she had loving parents whose only flaw was entitling her?  And they've finally reached the end of their rope?

Yes, I'm not ready to say that Leida had to leave Indonesia because of shame brought down on her by her parents.  I'm planning to wait and see.  She is divorced, so presumably her child is not illegitimate.  From some quick research I did, it seems like the divorce rate is increasing in that country, particularly in urban areas like Jakarta (where she comes from).  That being said, it would be interesting to note if divorce is still taboo and she is not considered marriage material anymore.  I'm also curious why she never practiced medicine in her home country.  Regardless of what is going on, she has displayed a nasty attitude so far.  And it's really sad that it appears she hasn't done much parenting of her son.

[gunderda]

3 hours ago, SevenCostanza said:

Yea  I agree.  He's either cheap like Colt or broke.   I don't understand the whole driving 15 hours to meet them in NY.  Wouldn't it have been easier to have them fly to where he lives?

Me thinks he doesn't want the entire family to see where he lives right off the bat. He wants to 'wow' them with a 2 bedroom, 2 floor 'cabin' so they won't be horrified by his tiny 2 bedroom apartment (and probably daughter that is currently living there).

3 hours ago, TaraS1 said:

Colty lol.  It sounds like something his mother would call him.  "Mommy loves you, Colty!"

So just how far removed from civilization is Samwa?  Because I was not expecting Asuelo to be fascinated by things like buildings and doors.  And for the record, I would have had the same kind of horrified, second-hand embarrassment Kalani had at his dancing, but the difference is that I wouldn't have let him know it.  He wasn't trying to be an asshole, he wanted to impress her.  No need to crush his spirit.

 

1 hour ago, not you again said:

The blonde skater boi  - yes, his grandparents probably are mid-50s.  That's what hard living does to you.  Ack!  Grandma said she was 17 when she had his father, and his father probably was a young dad himself; these things tend to perpetuate themselves, and he's 20 now, so yeah.  As for his mother throwing him out at 16, I'm wondering if that's the "story" he's been inserted into.  Maybe his mother didn't have anything to throw him out of?  Maybe she's an addict?  Who knows, except I'll wager most of these backstories have been touched up to suit the show.

Further, I get the feeling that starting the K-1 visa process is the furthest thing from the mind of skater boi and his grands - they just want to get him over to Russia for the birth of his son.  

I have a searing hate for Kalani.  This is the worst bunch.  She looked fake-embarrassed at the airport, not truly embarrassed.  Asuelu was amazed at wide streets and doors and hamburger, but not the LAX airport, to the point that he did a dance right there in a crowd of people?  Just the number of people at one time should have him gobsmacked, but no.  After listening to Asuelu, he seems dim-witted to me.  I also wonder if Kalani thinks saying "Samwa" is Fancy/Classy and the show is letting it go for the lols.

And speaking of dim-witted, Ashley.  I kept wondering why she would be "cheated on" when she presents herself well enough.  She's a pretty girl.  And then it dawned on me, I bet she's as dumb as a post.  Looks and willingness to have sex will only take a relationship so far.

The other couples are shaping up just as I figured.  I need to go look at the "southern" food from Fernanda's dinner party; I noticed the fried chicken but nothing else.  I wonder if it was hoecake and not cornbread.

Since Asuelo works at a resort his whole thing about the house and fancy stuff had to be fake-ish.

[sconstant]

27 minutes ago, Rt66vintage said:

Colt told his mother, in a serious tone that Larissa was the first woman he had "been with," and Debbie solemnly agreed, "I know."

IIRC there was more to it - like "the first woman I've been with who I've been so happy with" or something.  

[Granny58]

30 minutes ago, TaraS1 said:

Yep lol.  We call that fried bread.  And it is delicious, but it is not cornbread.

There's such a thing as FRIED BREAD???  OMG sounds like heaven. 

[Dance4Life]

4 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

Even though I have a favorable (or at least sympathetic) impression of Colt at the moment, I could totally see this being the case.  I think of all the participants this season, the best we can say is "I think such and such SO FAR."  

Yes, this is why I said until.....next week.  Editing is acting extra this season! 

I have a feeling that Colt is just like his dad and maybe the mom didn’t have an easy relationship with him.

The guy is a jerk regardless.  

I think most of the women on this board would not accept a second date if a man treated us like Colt did Larissa. 

 

Seems like Colt loves to see Larissa suffer.  I was prepared not to like her but she is going to earn her  ‘Anfisa sympathy.’ 

I just remember when Anfisa was yelling at Jorge she was hungry.  Omg! 

[Pepper Mostly]

13 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

I was pretty mad at Kalani at the airport. Don't be a bitch. Don't look so embarrassed. It's LAX. You're 30. This is your future husband. He's doing his thing. Chill the fuck out. I'm with the lady who said she would take Aselu if Kailani didn't want him.

Right? Kalani seems--conflicted to say the least. She loves the idea of having a guy. Just not this guy. She will dedicate her life to making Asuelu utterly miserable. She's a female Jesse. But Asuelu is no Darcey. I loved Asuelu's dance and his pride in it. He's young and a little wide eyed, that's fine. Kalani seems to have taken the role of educator/mentor/superior being. Well, THAT should end well.

4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

The one I dislike the most surprisingly is Kalani. She is 30 going on 11, embarrassed at the airport she is 30 for chrissakes.  Kalani can fuck whoever she wants without her parents permission. Yet all we hear  about is how much she cares about what her sister and her father think. Grow up. He family are judgmental assholes and she doesn’t need them. The sooner she sheds them and does the hard work the better the chance they have to be a family. I have NO faith that will be what happens. She just got another baby to assimilate into her life and take care of as he adjusts and she isn’t ready . Poor Asuelo there is no compassion in any member of that family. 

I am oddly rooting for the Maryland Russia couple, the grandparents are likable as is he. 

Larissa is normal, Colt is not. Mommy created a monster. There is NO HOPE here. And I don’t blame Larissa. He wouldn’t even buy the 20 dollar flowers ? WTF. loser. I can hardly wait for Shaun Robinson to NOT  ask at the tell all if he thinks his mother interfered and assisted in their demise. NO MAS SHAUN ROBINSON TLC. 

Those southern bitches are just acting for tv with a big ole bless your heart to Fernanda. Behind her back, they will cut you. Jonathan absolutely in closet. 

The Indonesian Family is desperate to marry off their petulant, impulsive unwed mother daughter and think he is a GI Joe. He is their vision of reform/military boarding school. This is an experiment . It will not work she will not live in his filth and kid drama. That moldy condo was no cabin. 

I was Team Kalani last week but I've had a complete change of heart. She's insecure, she's a gossip with no sense of what you keep to yourself, constantly running from her sister to her father to her mother, looking for their approval. Bet she was the kid who reminded the teacher to give out the homework. She's "the good girl", who's apparently bitter because no one is properly noticing or appreciating her sublime goodness. 

I too, am rooting for Olga and Stephen. He's dumb as a plank but there's a sweetness to him that's hard to ignore. But no way he got probation just for tagging.

Oh, yeah, they tore Fernanda to shreds once she and Jon left. Can you hear the dude bros imitating her accent, a la Speedy Gonzalez, and cracking their stupid cracker selves up? I can.

I still maintain that Leida and her sister are both grifting, and that there is no wealthy family. But I suck at predictions.

 

3 hours ago, PityFree said:

 I thought it was really strange of Eric to make breakfast burritos.  I mean, it’s great that he cooks, but they’re from Indonesia and I’m sure that little boy was not used to eating anything that was served for that particular breakfast.  I wonder if Eric bothered to ask Leida what kind of food he should buy ahead of time so that she and her son would have something familiar to eat. 

 It might have been better to take them all out to breakfast— to a place where at least they would be some options to select from. After all, Eric treats himself to breakfast out every morning—why not his new bride and her family?

Eric will have to tighten the old belt now. He'll buy a box of cereal for Leida and Alless. He will continue to go out to breakfast.

3 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Eric doesn't care one whit about what Leida or her son would prefer.  They are in the USA now.  They will stay where HE says they will stay.  They will eat what HE says they will eat.  And their suitcases will be jammed into the car the way HE jams them in.  All of his calm behavior is for the camera.

Yes, I was coming to say this very thing! Alless will also be expected to eat everything on his plate. Anything not eaten will be kept for the next meal. Asking his opinion or treating him with kindness will be "mollycoddling". He'll be expected to be a good little obedient, silent child. Poor kid.

[JenE4]

Re the comments above on whether Colt is on the spectrum, as a mother of a 19-year-old son with Asperger’s, please put my vote down for absolutely Asperger’s. It’s not mutually exclusive to say he’s not on the spectrum because he loves his mother and cats. My son loves his snake—and, well, he tolerates me. But he actually can be a very loving, kind and appreciative and helpful person. Likewise, Colt sees taking care of someone—like his mom takes care of him and he takes care of his cats, means love. Colt is just NOT going to get that flowers would mean a lot to Larissa and so he should buy the flowers because it’s important TO HER. The “logical” rationale is that the flowers are going to die, and even if they last 3 days, that’s $7 per day and why not spend that money on something you need, like parking? And yes, it’s hot because it’s a desert. In his mind, he’s not being rude, he’s just giving the “right” responses. For neurotypical people, we know to try to understand where the other person is coming from and read the subtext and alter our responses accordingly. The best Colt can do is offer up an “It’s no Christ the Redeemer” but this is what we got. You can bet that Colt knows the “proper” way to stack luggage, and if it’s not the same method as Leida’s idea of “proper,” well, it’s a good thing they’re not matched up. This is also probably why Colt and mom needed to discuss seating arrangements because Colt has HIS seat and mom has hers and god forbid someone ever sat in the wrong place! If things have to change, we need to plan this all out in advance. It also rings true with the slot machine and other equipment in pieces or being worked on are strewn about. Likewise, my son won’t pass up some broken electronics someone is getting rid of that he intends to fix or use for parts for some other project. I have no doubt Colt snatched up that old slot machine and told mom can you believe some casino was getting rid of a perfectly good slot machine?!? Why waste your money at a casino when you can play all you want at home with the same quarter and not lose it! (And just wait, I have no doubt Larissa will want to go to a casino to gamble and Colt will tell her precisely that. No spoilers—it’s just the “logical” response!)

[ChiCricket]

5 hours ago, lucy711 said:

Third, Colt works and lives with his mother.  He must have some money.  Why can't he get a new car?

The way his mother drives him everywhere, I'm starting to think he doesn't have a driver's license for some reason.

[Pepper Mostly]

11 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

I'm also curious why she never practiced medicine in her home country. 

I once worked at a temp agency--one of the women on our register had an MD, a JD, and a PhD. She worked temp as a bookkeeper, because she was nutty as an Almond Joy.

Leida's inarticulate, keening wail when Eric wouldn't put the luggage in "proper" was, um, really something. No wonder she's never practiced medicine. Can you imagine your doctor letting one of those shrieks loose when you failed to take your medication properly or missed a test?

[AZChristian]

Just now, ChiCricket said:

The way his mother drives him everywhere, I'm starting to think he doesn't have a driver's license for some reason.

He drove to the airport.

We only have one car . . . even before retirement, we decided that maintaining one vehicle was a good way to cut down on unnecessary expenses.  If one of us needed the car and the other was at work all day, the non-worker would drop off the worker and pick them up at the end of the day.  I'm not sure who/which/whether either Colt or Mama works outside the home, but only maintaining one car is not a bad idea if you're a cheapskate.  Which I think Colt is.

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I once worked at a temp agency--one of the women on our register had an MD, a JD, and a PhD. She worked temp as a bookkeeper, because she was nutty as an Almond Joy.

Leida's inarticulate, keening wail when Eric wouldn't put the luggage in "proper" was, um, really something. No wonder she's never practiced medicine. Can you imagine your doctor letting one of those shrieks loose when you failed to take your medication properly or missed a test?

I'm still on the fence in believing that Leida was a maid, not a privileged child, in that big house.  And sister could easily be in on the scam.  And that mini-freakout about the luggage (It has to be done proper.  It has to be done proper") is something she saw the real rich lady of the house scream at the servants.

I guess meeting the parents next week will put that question to rest.

[Dance4Life]

These people need to learn from Ricky! Have them lined up! 

Ricky  called up Ximena when Melissa (whom he considered his girlfriend) ghosted him and his fanny pack!

I would not be mad if Larissa and Leida escaped.  

 

That Ashley.  I heard that verbal contract.  You are not allowed to get fat, sloppy and have sex 3 times a day. 

I don’t even think she realizes that Jay sneaks into couples bedrooms at the resort and has sex with random women on the rose petal heart decorated beds.  

[Stardancer Supreme]

Kalani went to Samwa to spite her father and her upbringing.  She didn't take into consideration how much culture shock that being in the US could induce in her vacation fling. Asuelo worked at the resort, but he lived a typical island life.  She fully expects him to be assimilated into American culture and be a father and provider immediately.  This is only the second time Oliver has been in his father's presence. His daddy is practically a strange man he doesn't know!  She clearly didn't think this situation through.  I say Poor Asuelo because he is coming into the game with the deck stacked against him; future mother-in-law wanting him to step up today and future father-in-law and sister-in-law who already hates him. 

Plus who is paying for this Air BnB? Kalani lived with her sister or do they still live with their parents?  A 30 year old should have their own place. 

[Pepper Mostly]

9 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I'm still on the fence in believing that Leida was a maid, not a privileged child, in that big house.  And sister could easily be in on the scam.  And that mini-freakout about the luggage (It has to be done proper.  It has to be done proper") is something she saw the real rich lady of the house scream at the servants.

Oh I'm convinced that Leida and her sister are a pair of grifters who think they've latched on to a well to do American man. Hahahahahaha. Leida's pretty rough around the edges for a "rich" woman.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

14 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

They are staying in Nowhere because that’s all Doofus can afford.

I think he confused cabin with condo, a very outdated one I might add

[KateHearts]

4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

The one I dislike the most surprisingly is Kalani. She is 30 going on 11, embarrassed at the airport she is 30 for chrissakes.  Kalani can fuck whoever she wants without her parents permission. Yet all we hear  about is how much she cares about what her sister and her father think. Grow up. He family are judgmental assholes and she doesn’t need them.

The reason I find her so dislikable is that she has lied to garner sympathy from her family... then is befuddled that they don't like the guy she has painted as a cheater (and who also "stole her virginity." I think her family is close-knit and adhere to strict Mormon principles- her dad at least- and they are protective and of course will take her side if she tells them he was unfaithful. I don't blame the sister for being upset and confused, literally hours before the Bad Guy is supposed to land in America - and she's kicked her sister and nephew out over the LIE that Sister told her about him.

 

4 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

 I am a Christian myself. Albeit I don't say that too loudly for obvious reasons, like I'm snide as hell, but I certainly don't ascribe to this whole Virginity Cult thing, like it's okay to do anything that everybody else does, just don't follow the biological promptings of your body and have sex because then you are forever tainted.

Kailani's family are Mormons (I believe now one must say "members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), who have an entirely different viewpoint than most Christians. There are so many different types of people who call themselves Christians, not all of whom view premarital sex as forbidden. I think Kailani's father sees the entire relationship through his religion's lens, which strongly urges abstinence and that married couples are married through eternity.  Poor Asuelu doesn't have a chance.

On another, very superficial level, Kailani? Says everything? with a question mark at the end?

And how many times has she said, "my family is complete."  She banged the guy on vacation because Dad wasn't there to stop her and she got pregnant.  Your family? isn't going to be perfect? like you want?

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

I just can't get over how a kid who has no high school education, is homeless essentially, and I'm going to guess barely works as a server, will be able to handle the care and feeding of a baby. 

Watch “Unexpected”.... it’s not a pretty sight.

[Pepper Mostly]

2 minutes ago, Stardancer Supreme said:

Kalani went to Samwa to spite her father and her upbringing.  She didn't take into consideration how much culture shock that being in the US could induce in her vacation fling. Asuelo worked at the resort, but he lived a typical island life.  She fully expects him to be assimilated into American culture and be a father and provider immediately.  This is only the second time Oliver has been in his father's presence. His daddy is practically a strange man he doesn't know!  She clearly didn't think this situation through.  I say Poor Asuelo because he is coming into the game with the deck stacked against him; future mother-in-law wanting him to step up today and future father-in-law and sister-in-law who already hates him. 

Plus who is paying for this Air BnB? Kalani lived with her sister or do they still live with their parents?  A 30 year old should have their own place. 

It'll be such fun to watch Kalani's whole family gang up on him, too. And be pissed off about him not working, even though he can't yet. Not. He has no idea what the future holds for him. Things are about to get a whole lot stupider.

Kalani must have a job? She's so enmeshed with her toxic family I bet its a family business and she works there. Run Asuelu! RUN!!

[ChiCricket]

3 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I couldn't help but notice that The Doltmobile (Debbie + Colt.. thank you, Sterling!)  seems to have had multiple fender benders. Either Colt or his mom must be a terrible driver! They either don't report it to the insurance or pocket the $$$ and don't get the dents fixed.

 Or they bought it dirt cheap because it was already dented.

[Dance4Life]

10 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

 

I'm still on the fence in believing that Leida was a maid, not a privileged child, in that big house.  And sister could easily be in on the scam.  And that mini-freakout about the luggage (It has to be done proper.  It has to be done proper") is something she saw the real rich lady of the house scream at the servants.

I guess meeting the parents next week will put that question to rest.

That was a scene on the movie Crazy Rich Asians.  Lol

From my extensive time abroad, kids from well to do family attend university in the West. USA is first choice. If they don’t get in then they try again for Grad school, etc. 

[sconstant]

30 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Yes, I was coming to say this very thing! Alless will also be expected to eat everything on his plate. Anything not eaten will be kept for the next meal. Asking his opinion or treating him with kindness will be "mollycoddling". He'll be expected to be a good little obedient, silent child. Poor kid.

Hated him for the first introduction with his giving Leida advice on how to be a firmer parent (or sleep training or something) from several countries away in a super-patronizing way.  ("Well, I told you, you have to ...")  At least when he's on video chat you can just hang up.  In the cabin you can go to the other bedroom, I guess, but in MN, the other bedroom has a sullen roommate/daughter.

[Dance4Life]

11 minutes ago, Stardancer Supreme said:

Kalani went to Samwa to spite her father and her upbringing.  She didn't take into consideration how much culture shock that being in the US could induce in her vacation fling. Asuelo worked at the resort, but he lived a typical island life.  She fully expects him to be assimilated into American culture and be a father and provider immediately.  This is only the second time Oliver has been in his father's presence. His daddy is practically a strange man he doesn't know!  She clearly didn't think this situation through.  I say Poor Asuelo because he is coming into the game with the deck stacked against him; future mother-in-law wanting him to step up today and future father-in-law and sister-in-law who already hates him. 

Plus who is paying for this Air BnB? Kalani lived with her sister or do they still live with their parents?  A 30 year old should have their own place. 

Maybe production is paying for this Air BnB. It is like a whole house! I don’t like her for all the reasons already posted.

Why brag about your virginity like that?

I bet she was super snooty about it and why her family is extremely disappointed. 

You didn’t even use it as a come up! 

 

Can she brag about her job?  We are all curious!

[CoachWristletJen]

1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

Of could it be that Leida is just a narcissistic asshole?  Maybe she had loving parents whose only flaw was entitling her?  And they've finally reached the end of their rope?

The Pao Syndrome. Entirely possible. Although if that were the case, she probably would have taken her time and picked better.  If she's a narcissist, it wouldn't bother her so much to be around them even if they are judging her quite a bit; she would be oblivious or just not care.

[eatsleep]

14 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Asuelu (I don't have the heart to give him a nickname) is shaping up to be a tragic figure.

This is a 23 yr old man from a tropical island with a gentle climate, a house that needs no walls, near a beautiful beach, and accustomed to a routine of gathering firewood, cleaning up coconuts, feeding pigs, and I guess working at the resort where he met and wooed 30 yr old Stale Virgin Kalani and knocked her up (see my earlier rant about sex education). He is young, simple, with a carefree, upbeat demeanor. There is something very likeable and touching about him.

Yep, Asuelu is very different than I expected.

So no one commented on his tattoo? I'm assuming it's his full thighs, genitalia, entire pelvic area and hips are tattoo'd? A cultural thing?

But are we to conclude he has sent nothing to Kalani for the baby during his entire 8 months? Whatever little he could send might not amount to much in So Cal but jeez, I am hoping he made an effort. Maybe tat's why Low is so down on him and didn't want his girls w/ Samoan men? Bc the men there (and apparently in Indonesia) don't feel compelled to support their children?

 

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Leida:  Do you have any idea how insanely hard it is for a foreign trained doctor to practice in the US?  And we're talking people who were specialized surgeons in their countries, not faded beauty queens who dabbled in medicine without ever practicing.

I think it would be hard either way if she graduated from a medical school that is not well known in the US and whose course syllabus does not line up perfectly w/ respected US medical schools'.

 

6 hours ago, lucy711 said:

First, who is co-sponsoring the visa for the skater's Russian fiancee?  He is 20, homeless, and a high school drop out.  He has about $5 to his name.  And where do they plan to live when all three of them are reunited in the USA?

Second, who takes care of Ashley's kids when she is in Jamaica?  She calls herself a single mother, but has gone to Jamaica multiple times sans children.  I'm a married mom (and my husband lives with me), and I can barely find the time to get a damn manicure.

Third, Colt works and lives with his mother.  He must have some money.  Why can't he get a new car?

I missed the beginning; where/how did these two meet? I'm assuming she was in the US? Why?

Are Ashley's two kids from two different "fiancees"?

Colt does not see the need for a new car.

 

5 hours ago, merylinkid said:

Poor Asuelu.   He is going to be expected to work his ass off and never see his son.   Because she sure ain't getting a job.  Nope, she's a mom now, she gets to stay home and be a housewife.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but sometimes reality bites you on the butt and you can't do what you want.   She might have to work for a while to support the family. 

Well, if they didn't get the K1, she'd be doing that anyway. She picked the wrong guy, seriously. 

 

5 hours ago, PityFree said:

 He has very feminized features. I wonder if it’s just a case of his body producing more estrogen than the average man. I was actually surprised seeing a photo of his full body because I expected him to have female-ish hips and he didn’t.

In last week's episode he definitely appeared to have wide hips. Maybe it's Klinefelter's Syndrome? Oh no, can't be; he has a beard.

 

4 hours ago, gunderda said:

Was Daya from Indonesia too?  I remember someone saying that where ever Daya is from, they speak pretty fluent English which is always so surprising to me.  And Lieda even seemed to have an australian accent sometimes? 

Also not surprised when her sister asked who would watch the kid - if they're so used to having help. Lieda didnt seem to have a motherly bone in her body.

Daya was either from the Philippines or Thailand. And pretty sure it was the Philippines. Some Filipinos speak great English; it's on of the national languages. But you wouldn't learn it well if you are from a small town or didn't have access to good education.

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

Re the comments above on whether Colt is on the spectrum, as a mother of a 19-year-old son with Asperger’s, please put my vote down for absolutely Asperger’s. It’s not mutually exclusive to say he’s not on the spectrum because he loves his mother and cats. My son loves his snake—and, well, he tolerates me. But he actually can be a very loving, kind and appreciative and helpful person. Likewise, Colt sees taking care of someone—like his mom takes care of him and he takes care of his cats, means love. Colt is just NOT going to get that flowers would mean a lot to Larissa and so he should buy the flowers because it’s important TO HER. The “logical” rationale is that the flowers are going to die, and even if they last 3 days, that’s $7 per day and why not spend that money on something you need, like parking? And yes, it’s hot because it’s a desert. In his mind, he’s not being rude, he’s just giving the “right” responses. For neurotypical people, we know to try to understand where the other person is coming from and read the subtext and alter our responses accordingly. The best Colt can do is offer up an “It’s no Christ the Redeemer” but this is what we got. You can bet that Colt knows the “proper” way to stack luggage, and if it’s not the same method as Leida’s idea of “proper,” well, it’s a good thing they’re not matched up. This is also probably why Colt and mom needed to discuss seating arrangements because Colt has HIS seat and mom has hers and god forbid someone ever sat in the wrong place! If things have to change, we need to plan this all out in advance. It also rings true with the slot machine and other equipment in pieces or being worked on are strewn about. Likewise, my son won’t pass up some broken electronics someone is getting rid of that he intends to fix or use for parts for some other project. I have no doubt Colt snatched up that old slot machine and told mom can you believe some casino was getting rid of a perfectly good slot machine?!? Why waste your money at a casino when you can play all you want at home with the same quarter and not lose it! (And just wait, I have no doubt Larissa will want to go to a casino to gamble and Colt will tell her precisely that. No spoilers—it’s just the “logical” response!)

I'm in a mixed relationship - NT and Aspie. And I agree w/ you totally. He hasn't the faintest idea what she's looking for from him. No malice. Just life as we know it on Planet Colt.

Edited October 29, 2018 by eatsleep

[sasha206]

10 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

The Pao Syndrome. Entirely possible. Although if that were the case, she probably would have taken her time and picked better.  If she's a narcissist, it wouldn't bother her so much to be around them even if they are judging her quite a bit; she would be oblivious or just not care.

I guess former beauty queen/Dr./wealthy family is a draw, but those former beauty queen days are loooooong gone and that personality is not endearing.  I would think she may not have her pick of wealthy American men anyway.  Wealthy ones are going to just want a young beauty queen.  So I'm sure she doesn't have her pick of the litter.

[Empress1]

44 minutes ago, gunderda said:

And speaking of dim-witted, Ashley.  I kept wondering why she would be "cheated on" when she presents herself well enough.  She's a pretty girl.  And then it dawned on me, I bet she's as dumb as a post.  Looks and willingness to have sex will only take a relationship so far.

Lots of people get cheated on who "present well." Halle Berry got cheated on. Beyonce got cheated on. Anybody can be cheated on. My guess is that Ashley wants love but doesn't think she deserves it, so she gravitates toward men who treat her badly. She may also be drawn to immature men in general, if her attraction to her fiance is anything to go by. He's a child.

Look, y'all are going to have to help me not go off on Norman Bates every week, because I just can't. I hate the desert, I don't like cats, he shares a beat-up car with NO AC in VEGAS with his MOTHER, his whole affect and especially his relationship with his mother  is creepy AF ... I can't. His mother was saying she'd miss being involved in his activities ... ma'am. Get a hobby.

However, the friend who convinced me to watch this show is of the believe that Larissa will not stay with Colt a second longer than she has to. I was like, "She's beautiful and he's ... who he is, what is she doing?" And my friend said, "She's playing the long game."

When Fernanda was on the couch and Jonathan came home with Starbucks, I had the thought that it must be really isolating not to be able to drive in some of these places. I've lived in cities my whole life with public transportation, but Jonathan appears to live in suburban NC - I'm sure you need to drive to get anywhere. It must be so isolating. Your only connection to the place probably goes to work all day, and you're stuck at home and can't go anywhere.

Jonathan's friends tore Fernanda (whose imitation of the Southern accent made me laugh) apart the second they were out of earshot and the cameras were off. I have no doubt. The casual racism they were throwing out when they were talking about the wall was a big clue. At least the one with the backwards hat had a look on his face like "dude, you're saying the quiet part out loud and on television." (I don't know what that bread was, but it was nobody's cornbread.)

Kalani (I keep thinking of the singer Kehlani) really does have one of the most beautiful heads of hair I've ever seen. She could sell it. I prefer it wavy, not straightened.

Eric "my only choices in life were fight ISIS or get a mail-order bride" puzzles me. Does he have a job? They 100% stayed in PA because he can't afford two hotel rooms in the NYC area, and he had her fly into NYC because he didn't want to show her how he lives right off the bat.

I forget who said "Don't turn your vacation D into a relationship," but that should be the tagline for the show. It should REALLY be true for the 20-year-old Russia/Maryland couple, but at least he's trying to fumble his way through it the best he can.

Hi y'all. One of my best friends convinced me to watch this show. He also convinced me to watch Love After Lockup, which was comedy gold, so here I am.