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  1. Ines is truly the worst. She thinks being rude is a quirky personality trait. She's just an asshole who I'm willing to bet uses childhood trauma to justify toxic behavior. Who gives a shit if he stripped in his 20s? Bronson is way too kind for her. I'm with Martha - Michael (manbun) is hot as fuck. She lucked out and they're probably the most attractive couple. I like awkward virgin man and I'm glad they chose someone very gentle for his match. His performance was good! Doesn't Lizzie catch Sam making out with another wife later on? Based on this episode, I'm guessing it's Ines.
  2. That sex montage was the limpest attempt at eroticism I've seen in quite some time. Mechanical, emotionless, exaggerated flounder thrusting. It wasn't even graphic, just horribly awkward. You could tell producers thought the slo mo would make it sensual, but on top of that it just looked like the director told the actors to pelvic thrust at 0.5x the speed. Everyone looked so uncomfortable. In real life, Jaime would sue the fuck out of Callie, but because she's a manic pixie dream girl, they're sexy rivals now. Sure. So to recap, Mariana dumps Raj for thinking about sex with someone else, but neglects to mention she already actually had sex with someone else. That's coming out at some point, right? And it's so weird that she used to bang her coworker in the same office where she's now also fucked her boss. Mariana, maybe try fucking people you don't work with? They're really going full Jennifer's Body with Isabella now, huh? It's poetic irony that Malika is fighting for issues that impact her community and gets arrested, but Callie has done just as much if not more illegal shit, largely for empty virtue signaling, and is now a licensed lawyer. Hello, white privilege!!! Davia needs a new arc. I'm sick of her being sad and mopey all the time. Dennis drains the life from her character. He's the worst and the most boring to watch. We get it, you're grieving your son...now what? It's the same storyline and emotional beats episode after episode. I get that they're trying to de-stigmatize men 35+ (???) having mental health and self-harm issues, but he's a self-absorbed, kind of manipulative person whose characterization never evolves beyond "grief guy." Countdown til Callie fucks Gael again!
  3. She's still with Seb - for some reason they're airing the season before last as "new" (air dates are 2019). Lizzie has the same blonde dye job as last season's flashbacks, as well as the groom who scoffs that she's "big." We already know how that ended, so I'll be FFing their scenes. I don't know why Lifetime picked S7 to air first before S6...maybe they couldn't film a new season with COVID? Ning is an actual 14-year-old. Really, kicking water at him and sneering that they won't kiss anymore after she initiated that awkward makeout? She needs to learn the difference between snark and cruelty. I don't find her groom attractive either, but she sends mixed signals and then mocks him for trying to follow her lead. She's a bully. Kudos to Nick for being willing to discuss side effects on TV - Cyrell handled it ok, although I thought the weeping was kind of OTT and making it about herself. Lots of folks handle fertility issues. Jessika...oh boy, I retract my last post. She's turning into Taylor from MAFS US. It made me laugh that she said she wasn't attracted to Mick because he was "older" (tell that to Ning!!) when she's 27 and he's 31. A whopping 4 year gap!! He acts much older than 31 though - and she acts like she's 16. Her sobbing and storming off at dinner in that frilly pink dress felt like she was having a tantrum that her dad threatened to take her phone. The fact that she immediately got so defensive at the mere mention of Instagram is obvious evidence that it will be a huge problem...again, hello Taylor. Bald guy has some nerve complaining about his wife "rambling" about her foster care childhood!!! Didn't know your attention was so valuable, douchelord. And he basically just shrugged it off when she walked away. That and his smarmy intro line about "being tired of leaving a trail of broken hearts" from women half his age (of course) suggests he's a serial dater who wanted a sex vacation. Watching Mel and Dino is very weird. I guess...they like...each other? Or she's just horny? That makeout was uhhh...
  4. Whoever here complained the writers were being too blatant with setting up Jonah and Nia and I responded saying I hoped they'd make Nia a lesbian...looks like we were both right, lol. I don't know whether to be disappointed that her sexuality will probably be a throwaway detail to humiliate Jonah (he's been such a fucking sad sack since getting with Amy, although it's obvious they're keeping him down post-breakup to make Amy returning so soon feel like his only option for a win) or relieved that they won't have time to saddle her with a toxic girlfriend. I liked the twist with Garrett/Dina/the vet if only because it's a welcome change from the usual triangle jealousy - for now. I'm just not buying that Garrett suddenly has renewed feelings for Dina...Colton Dunn always plays him as super checked out, which doesn't help rebuild the chemistry. Tony/Sandra's relationship is my favorite aspect of both characters, lol. His incompetency on the job did kind of come out of nowhere and felt like a set-up for yet another Jonah embarrassment.
  5. Everyone's favorite anti-quarantine vloggers are back! Really, Miles and Karen, you just had to go to Cabo right now? Blame Karen for making your first honeymoon so shit. They just wanted Instagram content. Happy and kind of surprised to see Bennett & Amelia! Woody & Amani were a delight as always. All of the pregnant/child rearing couples are boring, but I respect Anthony's half-assed attempt to turn their segments into dorky comedy skits. At least he's self-aware. Glad to see Shawniece & Jephte have leveled out. They still seem less than thrilled to do anything together. Greg's family reacting to Deonna's pregnancy was so funny.
  6. Mel is exhausting and acts like a sitcom character. Initially thought she and Dino were a horrid match, but he seems equally spacey. Cyrell seems like a spoiled drama queen. That family dinner was like a Real Housewives scene. The fact that she dissolves into sobs instantaneously does not bode well for her ability to handle conflict. I feel bad for her groom, who just seems to want peace and quiet after everything he's gone through. You know it's bad when you have to do the cancer reveal just to get her brother off your back. And Cyrell's giggly, shit-eating "What did you do?" routine with Ivan post-confrontation tells me she gets off on pitting him against her boyfriends. Hard pass. And Jessika's brother too. I guess douchebag brothers are a thing this season. When a brother is that overprotective, it almost feels incestuous. Best man was also a colossal asshole who obviously told the Viagra story to stir shit - I would've asked him to leave after that. No friend would get that much joy torpedoing your first impression in front of stranger in-laws. The story was also hard to follow and upon first listen, I thought he was drunkenly humping the sleeping bag. Given that he's a sheep farmer, I was surprised the story didn't veer into bestiality. He sounds like another 30 -year-old frat boy. To Jessika's credit, I was pleasantly surprised an alleged Instagram girl (gag) became so smitten with his sense of humor that she immediately overlooked him not being her type, especially when her bridesmaids basically put down his looks to his face.
  7. True, this season was very tonally disjointed. Apparently (per random extra clips with Alia & crew), Chip was inspired by Kathy Bates' character in Misery and the scenes where he has her tied on the bed were direct parallels to the film. There must've been a horror buff in the writers' room this season, because I think Dory's arc seems to be loosely inspired by the South Korean film Oldboy, in which a man is held captive for 15 years in the same hotel room for unknown reasons, only to realize he's being held in retribution for witnessing a classmate's sexual encounter with his own sister as teens. So....I guess that's where the Susan Sarandon incest thing came from? Early scenes, like Dory being fed the same meal every day and marking the passage of time with the apple stickers, are also direct parallels to the main character's captivity in the film. So if you’re not a film aficionado, the A-plot of the entire season makes no sense, lol. I kept impatiently waiting for the scene to cut away from Dory. Cole Escola (Chip’s actor) did a great job with the material, but again, it was basically watching the same scene repeatedly. Alia allowed her ambitions as an actor to jeopardize her own show. Like I said, she gave herself a ton of material for an Emmy reel submission, but it actively hindered the plot and contributed nothing to any of her relationships with any other character. I never cared about her relationship with Chip, even from a psychological thriller perspective, because it was very repetitive. She tries to escape, he tortures her, she successfully escapes, he finds her, etc. And How To Get Away With Murder already did the "fucked up murderer is a secret sibling incest baby" twist last year! I wanted to see Dory with Drew or Dory with Portia, but instead we were treated to a game of faux intellectual cat-and-mouse between Dory and Chip that no one asked for. Maybe cool for 3 episodes, but a whole season?? Media outlets and social media are lavishing praise on Cole Escola, which I'm not saying is undeserved, but the frustrating part is that this show shines as an ensemble cast, not one-man Emmy bait. I've been disappointed that John Reynolds, (especially!) Meredith Hagner, and John Early haven't gotten more recognition. When Dory spat in Drew's face, it was a good metaphor for what her character has done to the show, haha.
  8. That was a point of confusion for me too and part of the reason why I assumed it wasn't a hallucination because why would Dory bother with hallucinating Elliot's ex or Portia's mom or randomly getting posthumously #MeTooed by her mentor/benefactor lady/I don't care about that character? I had also totally forgotten that Dory hooked up with the dude who got paid off and I don't get why he was included at all this season, unless he's being set up as an extremely long Chekhov's boomerang to extort the mayor (?) paying him off to help Dory avoid charges for April??? But I think that's giving the writers too much credit. This show really needs to learn the value of letting smaller characters go when their arc is done or keeping them on the sidelines when they're irrelevant to the current plot. So, to answer your question, I don't think the writers cared about the logic of the finale beyond shock value and faking out the audience, which I guess is why they threw in all those side character moments to make it feel like the universe (beyond Dory's perspective) was moving forward. (Also why hallucinate the ex you're in love with daydreaming about ending up with a hot partner who isn't you? lol). What we ended up with was a wishy-washy midpoint straddling hallucination and magical realism - basically a limp Christmas Carol-esque bottle episode imagining where everyone would be without Dory. For the season finale of a show that has a strong chance of being cancelled, especially given its consistent niche status and Covid filming restrictions. We could've had an incredibly emotional Dory/Drew reunion or closure for Elliot or Portia or even have Chantal tell Dory how much she appreciated having friends who looked for her as a nice series bookend. But hey, we got to watch Alia chew the scenery for the 92nd time this season as she gulped for air three inches from the camera, which, y'know, I'm sure is just as gratifying as giving actual potential endings to characters and relationships we've watched for 5 years. I'm no screenwriter, after all!!!!
  9. Exactly! I get that the show is her vehicle and consequently it's always going to bend towards spotlighting her/Dory, but it's reached oversaturation to the point where the writers are actively, constantly sacrificing overall narrative progression to give Alia 5687 breakdown scenes. I feel like we watched her go through the same journey of despair every episode. It was a well of diminishing emotional returns and the supporting cast's (much more interesting, imo) plots suffered for it.
  10. Not yet as of yesterday, but it's apparently under consideration.
  11. So Ana went from so unbearably horny that she was considering breaking up with Javi after what, 3 days of celibacy, to recommitting herself to God after watching a priest in a V-neck spout lines like "Slide in your neighbors' DMs"? She definitely seems like one of those girls who picks up the hobbies of each new boyfriend. And I get that Francia is playing 8-9 years younger, but pairing Ana with Javi (who looks late 30s) and isolating them in a plot really makes Ana feel much older than 20-22, especially when compared to the twins. Frankly, I'd be fine with the twins and maybe Aaron carrying the show in Yara's absence. Zoey is annoying and Luka is kind of bland. I miss Nomi and I hope her actress actually needed to leave the show, because it's a letdown to have her confined to an iPad with stock baby sound effects. I don't even know how they'd write her back in, since I'm assuming Covid has heavily restricted filming with infants. Pregnancy and babies are always such boring storylines. Still, I'd watch Nomi make bottles any day over Vivek's constant unsolicited sex rambling.
  12. If only I could forget Birdgate! Even handwaving that, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth that Dina almost cheated on the vet, although the writers are rightfully banking on us not caring about an off-screen character/relationship. Dina could've easily had a throwaway line about a breakup. Totally forgot about Marcus and Mateo, in which case Mateo is unsurprisingly being a huge douche by shitting on Marcus, but I guess it's like the Dina/Garrett situation where you're supposed to forget old plots that don't serve the current narrative. Even though they let her have a spine this time, Kelly has always deserved more of a purpose than being repeatedly embarrassed by Jonah. She's awesome, and Marcus is a sweetheart too. I would love for Kelly and Marcus to date and bond over their mutual judgement of Jonah, lol. It's very awkward that the showrunners set up all these new dynamics and planted all these permanent seeds like Amy leaving and Dina being co-manager to delineate the Superstore universe post-America, only to have to hastily undo everything in 10 or however many episodes to piece together a series finale. Besides Kelly, Cheyenne was the unexpected MVP of this episode. I love how genuinely impressed she was with Carol extorting her. "Bye bitch!" Sandra's Amy roleplay was another gem.
  13. Well, I guess my question was answered. "Yay, a Chantal bottle episode!" said no one. No insult to the actress, but I've never found her compelling or cared about her backstory. While I FFed through the vast majority of her ep, I did laugh at her microdose fever writing being mistaken for a child prodigy's book. It was a clever callback to S1 to hook in the final line as a trigger to snap Dory out of brainwash mode, and I thought the ensuing memory montage was incredibly well done. It felt like a bit of a waste to write an entire episode as a build up to the final 30 seconds (*cough* THE FINALE *cough*). Chantal's final monologue about not knowing any of them but appreciating how Dory made her feel special was the most I've ever felt for her character (incredible performance by Claire McNulty) and would've been nice closure for her arc overall had it not been undone. Other highlights: Princess Girlfriend's botched public proposal, Drew's subsequent freak out and admission of love for Dory (John Reynolds is a very underrated dramatic actor), and Elliot's fiancé randomly adopting a baby. Susan Sarandon was pretty great too, although I thought the sibling incest twist was superfluous. The sequence where she and the gang don't realize they're trying to tail each other and wind up angrily speeding around the roundabout is hilarious. With that said, I was very frustrated with the finale and thought it was a giant waste of (precious) time, especially when you consider each season only has 10 episodes. The funeral was essentially an excuse to give everyone dramatic monologues. (Portia's mom was the only highlight.) It would've been gutsy for the show to actually kill off Dory. I was devastated for Drew, but intrigued by the prospect of just him, Elliot, and Portia moving forward. But the show is Alia's baby, so I should've known. Every time Dory has been onscreen lately for the past 2 seasons it's felt so forced and extreme and emotionally maxed and like Alia just wants to showcase herself. She's a phenomenal actress, but it's getting tiresome having Dory suck up so much narrative oxygen without even having the payoff of bonding with the others...at this point, why do they even like her, beyond their criminal ties and general codependency? I suppose that's the answer. Did we really need to spend the entire last episode and 10% of the season on a near death funeral hallucination, especially when we already blew an episode on mind control hallucinations? I hope Dory gets to calm the fuck down next season.
  14. The idea of a diamond made from your dead cat made me laugh, as did Jonah/Mateo's sleuthing to figure out if Sandra still had the donations. Solid, zany A-plot. I thought Garrett's plot was boring and unfunny as a cutaway scene, let alone an entire C-plot. I agree, there was some definite disjointed writing at the end there. Maybe they wrote the co-manager thing setting up for next season and then added the lawsuit after cancellation was announced? It's a shame because I would've loved to watch Lauren Ash play a bigger role.
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