Yay, Justine and Caleb!!!! They were the nicest castmates who deserved it the most. Johnny saying "keep it" was his strategy for the whole show. I'm convinced Moira/Calvin actually got 2nd place. but the producers put Cely/Johnny up there to keep their narrative going/make social media sweat lol.
Carrington looked bewildered to be there from start to finish. His deadpan "I think I know" when Arielle told them to go wait for the result was unintentionally funny. Hey, it's a free (rental) suit, booze, and food, so I don't know why he looked so uncomfortable. Probably because the finale is set up like an engagement ceremony and basically forced him to (very poorly, halfheartedly) lead Laurel on even more. Remember when I thought he'd get booted the first week? I severely underestimated how much women under 25 see a total lack of charisma and interest as a challenge. At least Johnny has lines and a smile - Carrington just stares blankly into space. It's like trying to date/mother a 16-year-old. I have to hand it to him, the man came horny (no pun intended) and still left as a proud, unapologetic fuckboy. Notice how his speech and even their montage package focused on her looks because he still knows nothing about her. Laurel is nice and I feel bad that Carrington will crush her within a week when he inevitably ghosts her, but he's all but spelled out he doesn't want to date on the outside at every opportunity, so that's on her.
That continuously struck me as odd too, but I think it's a Southern-style pet name. Calvin also strikes me as someone who embraces Dad humor and dorkiness (see: his speech), so that nickname tracks. He at least is way more into her now than when he first came in. I don't think he would've been making out with her all the time if he felt nothing. Then again, I also think he's just a nice guy who was willing to play that role with anyone, so time will tell. I think both he and Moira are enamored with the idea of being wanted and playing house, regardless of who it's with. I noticed Calvin also has the habit of smiling into his kisses with Moira/anyone, which makes him look super into it. That vague line about "chasing moments" was probably alluding to the fact that they'll definitely fuck before they leave and are open to staying friends with benefits until they each find someone local.
That outdoor shower scene was hot...call me, Calvin.
I'll sorely miss the narrator's snark and all of yours, too! Please migrate over to the Bachelorette forum (premiering Oct. 13th) so we can keep this party going. I love y'all!