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SnarkEnthusiast

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Everything posted by SnarkEnthusiast

  1. Well, all of the couples are annoying me now, lol. Haley/David are all over the place. Their high won't last because they're both unstable. Michael/Stacey are the insufferable shit-stirring popular couple from high school - why does he keep instigating fights in other people's relationships? They decided to nuke Natasha/Mikey because they got bored at dinner, ffs. Natasha shouldn't have made the joke, but Mikey had already made the exact joke verbatim on camera! The way he flew off the handle immediately was a gigantic turnoff and the fact that he wanted to break up over ONE comment showed he's very petty and spiteful. Steve/Mishel is a mess because she wants to act 25 and he wants to act 75. Steve's overall vibe screams "grumpy grandpa." Even golden couple Connie & Johnny had a bunch of juvenile bullshit this week between his petulance over the phone and her petulance over the model sketching. Are we 14? Amanda/Tash - yeesh, long overdue. Amanda dragged herself down to Tash's level at the end, when she should've just been stoic and waited for Tash to flame out. Constantly berating someone for not being attracted to you doesn't work and only gives Tash the opportunity to play the victim. The dinner party snub was the out Tash had been looking for. Amanda let Tash get under her skin and came off bitter and abrasive. I laughed at "I can only eat white food for 24 hours" and especially "I'm too tired too explain my veganism [my only personality trait] to you right now." Tash is so fucking pretentious!!!! Thoughts on who Haley is making out with behind the scenes? Michael is sleazy enough, but I think it could be Josh after all, if only because he seems like a horndog (seriously, how many scenes/references of kink did we get this week?) and we know Haley is turned on by BDSM. $20 bucks says Haley and Tash hooked up after filming was over.
  2. Say what you want about Syngin being an aimless fuck up (so is Tania), but I rolled my eyes at Tania making Syngin carry her on his back 20 feet from the bed to the shower. And she's making him help her bathe for no medical reason.
  3. I thought the miscarriage would be a fake out because they spoiled it in the episode promo (wtf) but everything about it was very in-character for Sutton. Megan Fahy did a great job. Acquaintances of mine recently lost a pregnancy the exact same way, so it really hit home. Interesting that the miscarriage is a catalyst for Sutton realizing she doesn't want kids right now. "Yay, more conflict with Richard!" said no one ever. It makes sense that she'd want to focus on the brand new career she's wanted for years. I like Jacqueline, and Jacqueline not with Jane, but I'm not sure I care about her marital issues or her horny old man love triangle enough to justify this many subplots. How did Ian guess Miles was writing about Jacqueline if he thought they hadn't seen each other for 20-30 years? And obviously she keeps the article open on her nightstand for masturbation purposes, lol. Jane's storyline is...not bad? For once? This episode just made me sad Kat and Alex never got together. He is such a sweetie and his great chemistry with all the leads, but only Sutton deserved him. Man, Kat has really fallen on her ass. Even watching her "struggle" feels pretentious between the bougie bartending job and power struggle with mommy and daddy.
  4. I thought the commitment episode would be boring filler, but it was actually pretty interesting. Josh made me laugh with his "20 seconds" comment. Poppy seems miserable and the other parents seem to be handling "missing their kids" just fine, so I feel like her being weepy days in is just her being disappointed with not being physically attracted to Luke but she's using her kids to deflect - which doesn't fly when half the cast are also single parents of small children. Haley and Dave are exhausting. I laughed out loud with the expert flat out said "no" when Haley asked if she could speak more, She seems critical and his masculinity is far too fragile for her. How many times can they argue over her smoking and the wage comment? She's rude and domineering, but it was incredibly petty and unfair of him to bring up her addiction to hurt her and make her look like damaged goods in front of everyone. Low blow. I wouldn't want to be with someone who only accepted who I am based on their mood and otherwise weaponized my flaws against me whenever convenient. Shoutout to Steve for single-handedly salvaging their relationship - for this week. I feel bad for Amanda, but again she has to realize that the whole droopy dog routine and trying to lecture and rationalize how and why they should be spending time together isn't gonna work on a free spirit like Tash, who is heavily invested in her alt-girl image. Amanda came off like a prudish PTA mom at the party. If Tash wanted to, clearly she would, as evidenced by her flirting with every woman in sight at dinner. Cut your losses and move on. I kind of love how smitten Ivan is with Aleks - I expected him to be a huge douche to her. I was surprised how frosty she became over his Haley interaction, in which she was almost instantaneously the aggressor and incredibly insulting towards him, which he handled well and took in stride, imo. A little gossipy maybe, but nowhere near egregious enough to imply you were considering separation over it, especially when he immediately realized he'd upset her and spent his entire couch monologue apologizing profusely. He's full of himself, but she's a bit too rigid. Connie and Johnny give me faith that love exists!
  5. Agreed! Sadly women don't have the luxury of existing without performing 😉
  6. With this show, Kat will wind up banging that lawyer by the end of the season. "Hottie Scottie" just looks like any average dude to me. Jane actively hoping to seduce her subordinate days after hiring him screams #MeToo nightmare, especially for someone just granted a staff to begin with. Ollie's ex is hot. Sutton continues to be the most likable, well-adjusted character.
  7. The pacing of this show is much better and more entertaining than the American one. All the men and especially all the women look exactly the same. Even the nerdy marine biologist looks very similar to the girl with acne. Sorry there are so many I don’t remember any of their names! I don’t mind including single parents, and maybe it’s just the editing, but the producers make it look like no one even mentions they have kids! Vanessa (acne woman) would be exhausting after a while, although I feel for her. I think she needed therapy before jumping into a relationship. She’s really let her insecurity about her skin take over her entire thought process for everything and if that continues long-term she’s going to be picking apart everything her husband does or doesn’t do or say. Amanda and Tash seemed like your quintessential lesbian u-haulers for the first 24 hours and then Tash shut down out of nowhere. They were literally making out in bed one minute and then five hours later not speaking, it’s bizarre. Tash seems very insincere and fickle, but I also think Amanda permanently shot herself in the foot by reacting with pouting and stamping her foot. You can never guilt trip someone into being attracted to you. It figures that next week Tash is going to stir up shit by hitting on Haley, her literal clone - both seem to only care about themselves. They deserve each other. Amanda probably wishes she went back to her ex-girlfriend. Steve and Mishel both seem whiny, surly, and unstable, although Steve is better than Mishel by a mile. If you’re tearfully demanding tequila shots at your wedding reception as a 48-year-old with adult kids, you’ve got issues. And the Ski thing was such a weird spoiled 10-year-old tantrum. What’s her face already thinks she’s better than Mikey and comes across as a spoiled snobby asshole. Connie and Johnny forever! They obviously have the best chance of making it because they both seem unpretentious and down to earth. I hope she gets more comfortable and drops the shy 14-year-old act after a while.
  8. Eh, I guess I'm in the minority but I'm not going to fault women for not wearing makeup or getting dressed up to sit on their couch or play with their toddlers just because they're on camera - what we're watching are basically home movies. And even if it was official filming, who cares? You don't have to put on makeup every time anyone sees you. Bobby's energy does seem a little different but I don't think he's being pissy or snappy or rude towards Danielle - I just think his humor feels increasingly adolescent in larger doses. She seems to like it and match him, so whatever. Jaime...not to sound 16, but birth is always gross and terrifying for all involved. Jaime and Beth "racing" by jogging 10 yards individually made me laugh.
  9. Tim and Veronica have better chemistry than most of the actual couples on this show. I'm guessing they broke up because they were both too type A, but even though she has a boyfriend (fiance?), I like that he's still an active father figure to Chloe and there are moments when I wonder if Veronica still has a little torch for him. Tim is really growing on me. I love how sincerely invested everyone is in Kenny/Armando. Same!
  10. In Deavan's defense, she met Jihoon when she was 21 (?), so I'm willing to cut her the tiniest bit of slack. Given that she already had a toddler, she might be one of those girls that thought having a baby means you have to stay together forever/a catalyst for your man to grow up/whatever. And after tonight, it sounds like she was (sort of) trying to be responsible when she conceived Taeyoung, but the condom fell off. Now she's having to support a 30-year-old 15-year-old because He's The Father when they should've just left it at two drunken weeks of sex. I think it's because the older ones are almost always colossal sleazebags jacking off to their own power as they dangle a green card in exchange for head and use their Savior Complex to deny their midlife crisis, sex tourism, or lack of appeal, and the younger ones are either soulless robotic scammers or (more likely) victims of bone-crushing poverty, none of which made a particularly compelling love story lol. Usually the older one just wants hot young ass. Kenny and Armando don't feel predatory or exploitative because Armando seems well-established, Kenny doesn't seem to get off on the age gap, and they actually bonded over mutual experiences and have a shared foundation. It's not about geriatric horniness for once! And despite chronologically being a baby gay, Armando is 31 and divorced so he's lived some life - it's not like Kenny is plucking some barely legal boy toy from poverty (hey Sean/Abby and Allan/Kirlyam). Jenny/Sumit is confusing because sometimes he feels like a scammer and other times he seems genuinely into her - he's def blowing all her money, but it also seems to be part of some deeply buried mommy kink/old lady fetish that he has. Jenny acts like she's 18, it's creepy.
  11. Felt bad for Jessica...and Austin because it's hard to know how to support someone you a) just met, b) can't help, and c) is annoyed by your worrying. Why do Bobby/Danielle talk about sex like two 15-year-olds? Stop referencing "doing it," you're 30 and married! lol. I'm surprised he seems like a bit of a (benevolent) frat boy - he was a squeaky clean mama's boy on his season. Greg gets more attractive every episode. Hard pass on another episode of deeply uncomfortable JaimeO moaning montages. Just show us the baby.
  12. So is Kat in a throuple now or did they just randomly decide to fuck her gf's roommate or something? And is that the girl she dated before bartender dude? Sutton is an in interesting choice for the unplanned pregnancy storyline, but she's basically a WASP now, so I don't see abortion and probably no miscarriage. Or it'll be revealed as a false positive. She'll probably decide to juggle baby and career and fight with Richard about not being a SAHM, ugh. Jane continues to Jane. She's even insufferable and sanctimonious recovering from major surgery! Alex is too good for this show and I hate that the same show that milks Kat's wokeness every episode decided he should be a glorified extra. Why didn't he end up with Suttton? Richard is like watching eggshell paint dry.
  13. I think Armando is the most likable, sympathetic participant this franchise has ever had. I shed a few tears during his backstory. You could tell his conversation with his sister was genuine and not producer-driven. Part of his attraction to Kenny was probably that he's raised four children to adulthood successfully as an openly gay man (partially?) on his own. I don't blame Armando for wanting that same stability for his daughter. And for once a massive age gap that doesn't feel creepy!!! Please leave them alone producers! Let the rest of this circus carry the shitshow this season.
  14. Man, I hope this doesn't get cancelled and leave Mateo crushed. The made a lot of ballsy writing decisions this episode, maybe to bluff getting renewed. Everything was a cliffhanger. I was surprised Vanessa went running back to producer so quickly - I know you're pissed, but you just fucked Mateo like 12 hours ago! I thought the accidental reveal to Daniel was pretty funny and I like that they made his reaction one of concern for Vanessa rather than a macho bro pissing contest. This show writes relationships very well. I liked the resolution of the parents and the love and devotion between them. The writers sure are selective about Lewis' plot device cancer. Two episodes ago he's fainting, but now he can sprint through an airport no problem? Natalie remains slightly bratty and overdramatic, but I'm grateful her entire season wasn't wasted in the closet.
  15. I did NOT need that shot of Fernanda's vibrator ready to go in the shower. What if her roommate picked it up thinking it was a bar of soap?! Foul. And what a weird crossover seeing her thirst over Clay from BiP. Is there some kind of Z-list reality star dating app? Lucy was the most adorable baby, so it's annoying to see Rachel has already made her spoiled and bratty by age 2. She seems to fling herself into a hissy fit over every tiny thing. But at least Rachel realizes it wouldn't be smart to have a baby with Tom when they can't live in the same country due to his criminal past TIFFANY.
  16. The screen that revealed only 5 minutes had elapsed between Beth/Jaime making up and restarting their preteen argument made me laugh. He really picked a fight over her "ignoring" him during cuddling? They're both such insecure drama queens!
  17. This was pretty meh plot-wise, which is disappointing because I was super excited to see Kumail and Issa as a couple. I felt like there was a distinct lack of romance for a (sort of) romcom - I live vicariously through tension and sap - so two brief kiss scenes were very underwhelming given they were bickering the rest of the film. I also feel like they suffered from basically being the only protagonists (weird that all of their friends were basically glorified extras with two scenes) because they didn't have anyone else to play off of and basically every scene of dialogue was [argue] [throwaway line that shows the other person they care] [lingering feelings] [look away]. The last half hour really dragged too. Some funny lines ("I think you've killed the perfect number of people") but overall felt like the studio was coasting on Kumail/Issa's star power and also that the actors themselves were phoning it in. Game Night is a much better, funnier spin on couples accidentally getting involved in crimes. The funniest moment was them accidentally giving their names to the hipsters reporting them to the police.
  18. They've been telegraphing the attraction between Mateo/Vanessa since at least ep 4 when he was trying to talk her down by listing all her good qualities - about halfway through the list he realized that he was into her, haha. I think Mateo always thought Vanessa was high maintenance or stuck up, but started to see her differently when she was the only one who genuinely encouraged his dreams. I get the sense Mateo is very much a forgotten middle child - we hear over and over again that he's an immature, middling fuck up, but he's expected to carry the family business while Natalie and especially Daniel gallivant around doing fuck all. And he still supports them! For Vanessa to see and appreciate him for who he is without wanting something from him has to feel good. He's presumably been single and overworked for months if not longer. It's inevitable he'd be attracted to someone who actually validates him. I'm just glad the Daniel/Vanessa subplot was about closure and not reigniting anything - there were moments where it felt like it could've gone either way. The brother factor is cringe, but Mateo is so damn endearing that I'm rooting for him. Plus, Vanessa has been talking all season about how the Garcias are like family, so...guess that's one way to stay in the family, lol. I have a little crush on Mateo. Daniel can be pouty and self-victimizing. Agree with commentary on past episodes that the parents seem weirdly controlling of their adult sons and gaslight them whenever they have any interests or spend any time outside the business. Natalie and Amy are the blandest "rebellious teens" I've ever seen. Then again, I can appreciate an age appropriate portrayal of 15/16-year-olds - unlike Euphoria. I'm guessing the schedule was abbreviated due to COVID - Superstore had to end in the middle of their two-part America Ferrera send off, and poor Schooled had to skip the episode breaking up their main couple (revealed in a slapped-together "previously on" montage even though we never saw it) to let the main character finally make a move on her love interest, only to be cancelled. At least this show has all its plots mostly wrapped up. I really hope this gets renewed!!! After losing both Single Parents and Schooled, my heart can't take anymore. ABC has been ruthless this season and I don't understand why.
  19. Kind of strange that Natalia would invite the girl that she desperately wants to hide the fact that she has a crush on to family dinner and then hold her hand while lovingly staring into her eyes. That seemed like more of a finale scene than a "I'm closeted to my family" scene. Mateo's actor plays him as a softie and I'm loving it. I thought he was going to kiss Vanessa when he was trying to stop her from blabbing to the paparazzi and telling her she deserved someone better - that was the first little spark between them and both actors played that subconscious realization really well. Daniel's treatment of Vanessa is...not great and the only unsympathetic aspect of his character. "Having a hot celebrity flirt with me in the bathroom made me realize I wasn't into you anymore and you're going to have to just deal with losing four years and a proposal rejection because I'm now sleeping with said hot celebrity" radiates shallow narcissism.
  20. For being the central romance, Maria and the world's blandest Manic Pixie Dream Guy Charles got a pretty underwhelming, uninspired wrap up. That post-wedding kiss was the first time they'd kissed, no? Although I did miss a few episodes. Talk about zero chemistry. I've seen more passionate kissing in Disney movies. It was very awkward in the flow of that dialogue and almost felt improvised by Ella Purnell. Oliver had a great redemption arc and his actor gave the strongest performance this episode, especially confessing to Susan after the attempted murder. Susan has a lot of nerve to claim her infidelity was supposedly her trying to get pregnant. "Darling, I cheated on you for YOU! To do you a favor!" lol. He's a more sympathetic, ambiguous semi-villain than say, Thomas, who coasted on the Tortured Gay thing but was still always an unrepentant asshole. Overall, this whole thing just feels like JF trying to milk more money out of Downton Abbey by setting essentially the same storylines in the previous era. And I'm sorry but Charles is certainly no Tom.
  21. nope, it linked to her actual Instagram!
  22. I saw the bleach blonde lesbian on Tinder recently, which was weird, lol.
  23. The three best catches on this show are Bobby, Greg, and Austin, in that order. Nice to see Deonna has warmed up to Greg so much since filming! Surprised Greg is (playfully) dragging his feet on the baby front. As much as I surprisingly like Jaime and Beth, I have my doubts as to whether their marriage can survive quarantine, especially since she already left SF once and moved all the way back to NC for "space." I am with Bobby on the second baby issue. Given what Danielle went through the last time, it seems like a no brainer that she wouldn’t have any more kids. She came very close to death and there’s no guarantee that it won’t happen again, especially because it happened during her first pregnancy which is usually thought of as the most problem free, although not always. It will only get riskier the older she gets as well, which I guess is why she’s pushing for another baby so soon. Situations like these make me really wish that people weren’t so emotionally invested in the idea of biological children and would stop perceiving adoption as an inferior, last resort alternative to bio kids. In their case, pregnancy such a massive risk and adoption would be giving a child that’s already here a much needed home. I don’t envy lady Jamie or anyone else who has to give birth during this time.
  24. I owe Rudi an apology, I really do. All season long I’ve been cracking on her for being emotionally unstable, but it turns out that was mostly just editing. Actually, she turned out to be ironically one of the most mature contestants. I think even she was surprised at how calmly she handled Matt’s lukewarm, wishy washy dumping. I think she let them off way too easy with his rambling, trite bullshit about caring about her as a person - I would’ve said, “Oh so you’re waiting till the day before the finale to tell me you’re not only not in love with me, but fucking over my career for what? Because you don’t want to marry me after three weeks?“ He was right to feel like shit about backing out of their performance. His non-committal pity party cost Rudi what will probably have been the biggest professional opportunity she will ever have in her life. Fuck Matt. I owe Rudi big time. I’m not even sure why the fantasy suite opportunity was such a catalyst for his crisis to the point where he would shoot himself in the foot, especially since it was heavily implied that they had sex when they played hooky from the rest of the group at the motel. I think he realized that they had a strong potential of winning together and he didn’t want to get stuck touring around for months with someone he saw as a fling. Even though I don’t think she deserved to win, I’m really proud of all of Jaime‘s personal growth. She really seemed to emerge with a stronger sense of self. I’m happy for her and Trevor and I never could’ve imagined they would emerge as a strong couple with long-term potential. The musical performances sucked in a big way. Some finale. Rudi would’ve brought the house down or at least been entertaining.
  25. He was incredible in his portrayal of all the abuse Craig went through and his devotion to his sister. He was my first celebrity crush, lol. It's funny that they gave him such heavy stuff at 14/15 and then morphed him into a generic fuckboy. But man, being Manny's age, I FELT her thirst for him when he was introduced. He was beautiful. I'm surprised he didn't become analogous to millennial Finn Wolfhard, but then again maybe that's a reflection of rising to fame in the social media age. The Ashley/Craig/Manny triangle was legendary, and he was adorable with Ellie in S5, but the writers lost me with the rock star/cocaine nonsense in S6. I still laugh my ass off that Wheelchair Jimmy is the huge breakout star from this franchise - and he was so mortified that he refused to talk about Degrassi for years.
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