Season 2 Discussion

[Mr. Miner]

40 minutes ago, arc918 said:

Hazel has to win some sort of award for "the least enthusiastic declaration of love" in human history!

Tarik is a dumbass, I'm hoping he's smart enough to leave Hazel in the PI.

[eatsleep]

1 hour ago, arc918 said:

Hazel has to win some sort of award for "the least enthusiastic declaration of love" in human history!

Producer: Do you really love Tarik?

Hazel: pauses & thinks then quietly whimpers "yes"

And then her eyes dart furtively away from the camera.

Edited September 24, 2018 by eatsleep

[Kath94]

21 hours ago, crabbygrrl said:

I'm sad because I get 90 Days on Prime so won't see it until tomorrow!  But I'll contribute a Rice a Roni link -- you have to have a weird sense of humor to appreciate it!

 

I know this is completely off topic, but I have the same odd sense of humor.  Why is he out of breath?  The microwave looks pretty modern, but this is what I would have expected to see on TV when they were a fairly newly available product - Look!  You can actually cook in one!

[AZChristian]

4 minutes ago, eatsleep said:

And then her eyes dart furtively to away from the camera.

Looking at the cue card to see if she got line scripted line right.

[sconstant]

2 hours ago, gavinmac said:

Seeing the Coming Up Next Week segments spoils it for me.

I don't even watch move previews or TV commercials for upcoming movies I may want to see. I just close my eyes and say "nananananana" for thirty seconds.

I would respond to this in the histrionic way that [someone] responded to [something] in the Next Week segment, but that would just be mean.  Instead I will shrug and move on to the next person who accepted my "heyy" on Columbian Cupid.

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, gavinmac said:

Ok, thanks. I've spent a lot of time in Southeast Asia and have dated younger, impoverished Asian women.

"My family wants to me to marry this other guy" is not an uncommon thing for them to say. Sometimes it's true, there may be another suitor in the picture that the parents prefer (maybe he's richer, he's whiter, etc.)  The woman who uses this line might just honestly be telling her beau that there is a potential snag in the relationship they may need to overcome - parental or family reservations.

 

But sometimes, I think these women say "My family wants me to marry X" as a ploy. Mr. X may not exist at all.

The impoverished Southeast Asian woman with no real leverage just wants the American guy to think she has options and that he has competition.

She knows he's going back to the USA soon. She wants a commitment, a proposal, now. 

And what better way is there to get a schmuck like Tarik to commit to immediately buying your 2003 Ford Escort than by telling him "Make up your mind, I've got another guy coming to look at the car in an hour and he's REALLY interested."

“And he’ll take it without needing to test drive it. 

[LisaWl7TR]

4 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Strippers tend to dress like they're always ready to peel their clothing off even when they have zero intention of doing so.

Hey...someone could ask for a lap dance while out and about--gotta be ready.

4 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I know, right? She should make the best of it. Have her charcoal-lidded friend take a cute photo of her in the dress, deck it out really pretty (with filters or whatever), and just frame it as a memento of wedding preparations. I'm sure that Jon would love to have it! Meanwhile assemble a lovely garden outfit for the actual nuptials.

Corney was another Eeyore! She had time to herself in Spain to go to museums or window shopping at boutiques or sampling the local iced lattes or whatever, and instead she sat alone inside a hot apartment getting drunk. Oh, Corney, he must have been overjoyed to find you!

Yeah but she may have been on her period! Lol

4 hours ago, sconstant said:

Yeah, there were some fancy undergarments, which are lovely I'm sure, but weren't doing great things as shapewear.  

From a picture I saw on reddit, I think--she needs an underwire!

[the-grey-lady]

Watching Darcey get all twitterpatted about Jesse's park date -- "We've been to a park BEFORE! In AMSTERDAM! This is just LIKE THAT! He's so ROMANTIC!" made me want to hide under a blanket. Meanwhile Jesse's planning to embark on a very long plane ride in order to, as a gentleman does, break up with Darcey in person. What a charmer.

 

Paul: I never saw that coming.

Me: Literally everybody else did. I mean EVERYBODY.

[LisaWl7TR]

4 hours ago, Cementhead said:

Having had the chance to hear Marta speak more last night, I am taking her vocal fry, along with her overall look, as a sign that she is a Kardashian fan.

Marta is the name of the mass transport here in Atlanta, GA. 

[bichonblitz]

 Has Tarik even thought for one minute that he should have a serious talk with Hazel about his handicapped daughter and whether she is accepting of the fact that she will be living with and involved in the every day life of the daughter? Oh, never mind, he's too busy trying to steal unenthusiastic dead lipped kisses from Hazel to care about anything else. These people that are "parents" blow my mind. 

[libgirl2]

4 minutes ago, the-grey-lady said:

Paul: I never saw that coming.

Me: Literally everybody else did. I mean EVERYBODY.

Even the blind! 

[KateHearts]

Tarik has this constantly befuddled look; I expect to hear *derp!* whenever he reacts to something.  "She won't have sex with me!" (bugging eyes). "She kissed me! I wasn't expecting that!" (head tilt, confused expression). 

Ricky is gross. He's the classic guy who has convinced himself he is moral and proper in all he does.  Except he leaves part of it out. "It's important that I be honest [because I know she'll find out about the real reason I'm here at some point anyway.]"  or, "no more lies [except the part about my two children and my estranged wife.]"  And I'm just so over the "I love you; we can build a future; you are everything I want in a woman" dreck after a week.  

Stripper Girl must not have checked a mirror before her packing scene in the yellow dress.  She seems to be wearing a bra that is too large, very lacy (hence lumpy)- and that "dress" she was showing off to her daughter looked like a 1950's dressing gown.

Angie has a serious case of no filter. Does anyone on this planet want to hear about her frosting plans?  ANYONE??!

Darcy looked hideous on the train. Overdressed, way too exposed. staggering around on her stilettos with enough luggage to ride a steamship across the Atlantic for a month. This cannot be real. And he wants to meet in a park- how romantic? And she plans to heft all of her faux-designer luggage with her?

[LisaWl7TR]

7 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

TLC tweeted that Paul’s mom actually  called while they were waiting for the test results and she told him that even he is too broke to be a dad right now. He’s still far better off than Karine financially though. 

I think we need a Mother Pole and Mother Kreeney meet up/talk.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

18 hours ago, Floatingbison said:

I noticed that Karine's boobs are getting huge, so this wasn't exactly a shocker for me

So are her zits

[Gobi]

Ricky's segments should be titled "Profile in Courage".

[Jennifersdc]

1 hour ago, gavinmac said:

And what better way is there to get a schmuck like Tarik to commit to immediately buying your 2003 Ford Escort than by telling him "Make up your mind, I've got another guy coming to look at the car in an hour and he's REALLY interested."

You win. That’s hysterical.

[LisaWl7TR]

4 hours ago, magemaud said:

There are some photos on the Marta/Daya thread of her wearing her “risky” (at least by Milwaukee standards) stripper ware which looks like she sewed them herself. 

Hubby and I are flying into Milwaukee Sat. maybe we can have lunch at the airport lounge and see if Marts is working! ;)

[LocalGovt]

15 hours ago, RedBagWithMakeup said:

The summation of this episode is: a bunch of lying liars promise to never lie again, and their marks future fiances believe them.

I agree with everyone who said Angela's appearance gets more egregious with each episode. And the mental picture of what she plans to do with some of the frosting from the cake has me traumatized. Ewwww!

Darcey wins the award for Most Desperate Person Ever.

Has Rachel been taking sad sack lessons from David Poor??

Marta.....good Lord. They need to start teaching Common Sense and How To Spot Red Flags in schools.

Hazel and Tarik , poor Hazel is trying hard to not vomit any time Tarik touches her,

Ricky is disgusting. All these jerks promising they will never lie again make me twitch.

Editing to add Pole and Karine! I could kind of see his side in terms of feeling used (what did he expect?), but it's obvious that he's been more than a little grumpy. Karine and her mom are unwilling to endure any more of it. Must be really bad. 

I just can't muster up any sympathy for Hazel.  I think she's playing Tarik.  I feel like, he, at least, was upfront about his expectations (I'll marry you and take you away from all this, you'll sleep with me); he even tries to throw some romance in there to set the mood.  She, on the other hand,  is playing games with him.  If she can't go through with it, she should just leave, and let him find some other more willing woman.

[Lily247]

3 hours ago, LisaWl7TR said:

I did receive the results of my blood test for pregnancy over the phone. I had to call them (after an hour, I think-29 years ago)

Did I miss something or why didnt they just do an U/S ? Usually when you go for the first appointment you do the urine test and all that but they also do an US where you can see the little jellybea  inside. But it's usually at least 6-7 weeks in. Why did she go so early to the dr and so sadly when she was plotting to get herself pregnant all along ?

[Floatingbison]

I can't believe that Derangela found the only TGIFridays in Nigeria.

[VegasDenise]

6 hours ago, gunderda said:

Well the first season they were on they did get her STD results via the internet

I happen to know that you can get you STD results on the internet. Im pleading the fifth on how I know that when people are on set getting ready to shoot porn they all get their phones out to show a current STD test.

[AZChristian]

5 minutes ago, Floatingbison said:

I can't believe that Derangela found the only TGIFridays in Nigeria.

Oh, I can.  Gotta have some French fries!!!

[Guest]

16 hours ago, Stacee said:

You know that feeling when you're in a room that smells bad and you are counting the seconds until you are out and away from it? That's how Hazel always looks when she is around Tariq.  

Could someone please give Rachel a box of tissues? That constant dabbing her tears with her fingers is so annoying. Or maybe its her constant crying. 

 

That "I love you" was the most dispassionate, unconvincing I love you I've ever heard.

16 hours ago, charmed1 said:

The Karine pregnancy speculation makes me think of the Mormon, Hilary Swank look-a-like who brought back the girl from Russia. Old girl couldn’t even pretend that baby belonged to Hilary Swank.

BYE lmao. Josh doesn't deserve this slander! He was so sweet with that baby though it obviously wasn't his. I still have a massive crush on him Hilary Swank parallels aside LOL

[juicyfruit]

16 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

Did I miss something or why didnt they just do an U/S ? Usually when you go for the first appointment you do the urine test and all that but they also do an US where you can see the little jellybea  inside. But it's usually at least 6-7 weeks in. Why did she go so early to the dr and so sadly when she was plotting to get herself pregnant all along ?

I think standard of care is different everywhere.  My doctor doesn't send patients for the first ultrasound until week 12/13, unless there is a known reason to do it sooner (e.g. high-risk pregnancy).

[ChiMama]

7 hours ago, Palomar said:

She (Karine) already complains about doing any housework, wait until she has to take care of a crying baby and has no time for herself.

And, does she realize in the U.S.A. "land of milk & honey" most middle-class women work part- or full-time AND manage the majority of child-rearing and household chores (unless they have a good husband, and Paul ain't it)? Very little laying around in bed for hours playing on your phone -- your ass is WORKING at one thing or another about 18 hrs / day.

[gonecrackers]

I think Rachel's friend was going for smoky eye, but ended up with black eyes.

I wonder if she wore that at night would it work like black out curtains...

[Quof]

8 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I think Rachel's friend was going for smoky eye, but ended up with black eyes.

Black guys?

Edited September 24, 2018 by Quof

[charmed1]

7 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I think Rachel's friend was going for smoky eye, but ended up with black eyes.

Black guys? What black guys?

[hisbunkie]

13 hours ago, renatae said:

LOL! I assume that while Pole was not consulting his translator app, someone asked the doctor's office to fudge the results. Actually I'm rather doubtful that they did a quantitative analysis, which estimates length of pregnancy by hcg levels, rather than just a qualitative analysis, which just gives a pregnant or non-pregnant result.

It’s not that difficult to prove if in fact she was lying about her pregnancy timeline. When did Paul get to Brazil?  Didn’t filming begin right around the holidays?  The baby should be here shortly if it is Paul’s. Baby should have already been born if it is not his. 

[LocalGovt]

2 minutes ago, hisbunkie said:

It’s not that difficult to prove if in fact she was lying about her pregnancy timeline. When did Paul get to Brazil?  Didn’t filming begin right around the holidays?  The baby should be here shortly if it is Paul’s. Baby should have already been born if it is not his. 

Seems like the scenes of them from next week might show a turn of events.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, LisaWl7TR said:

Hubby and I are flying into Milwaukee Sat. maybe we can have lunch at the airport lounge and see if Marts is working! ;)

I hear that on Saturdays she works at the Moose Lodge

[PityFree]

1 hour ago, Lily247 said:

Did I miss something or why didnt they just do an U/S ? Usually when you go for the first appointment you do the urine test and all that but they also do an US where you can see the little jellybea  inside. But it's usually at least 6-7 weeks in. Why did she go so early to the dr and so sadly when she was plotting to get herself pregnant all along ?

Early?  She’s been pregnant for a very long time.  i’m surprised she wasn’t giving birth at the doctors appointment. An ultrasound would’ve just revealed that the baby is old enough to walk around Brazil wearing its own cooling vest.

[Floatingbison]

Will the baby be born with a criminal record?

[Horrified]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Darcy looked hideous on the train. Overdressed, way too exposed. staggering around on her stilettos with enough luggage to ride a steamship across the Atlantic for a month. This cannot be real. And he wants to meet in a park- how romantic? And she plans to heft all of her faux-designer luggage with her?

We all know the reason that Jesse has chosen to meet in a park.  A break-up in a public place is done to minimize the waterworks and the dramatics. (speaking from experience).  Jesse knows his Alexis Carrington troll doll will just quietly accept the break-up and teeter off in her stilettos,

I hope she has to walk across grass.

[Pepper Mostly]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Angie has a serious case of no filter. Does anyone on this planet want to hear about her frosting plans?  ANYONE??!

I will bet you a week's pay that Michael didn't. 

1 hour ago, Floatingbison said:

I can't believe that Derangela found the only TGIFridays in Nigeria.

Homing instinct. 

1 hour ago, MrFluffy said:

Yes, they sell black eyeliner...I've seen it in multi-color palettes. I would think it's mostly used for theatrical purposes or as eyeliner.

I appreciate the response, but it wasn't me who asked! Check your attributions.

1 minute ago, Horrified said:

We all know the reason that Jesse has chosen to meet in a park.  A break-up in a public place is done to minimize the waterworks and the dramatics. (speaking from experience).  Jesse knows his Alexis Carrington troll doll will just quietly accept the break-up and teeter off in her stilettos,

I hope she has to walk across grass.

And why go to a restaurant and order a meal that no one will eat? 

But if Jesse thinks Darcey will slink off quietly, trailing her 800 pounds of fake Louis Vuitton luggage, he does not know his woman. 

[sconstant]

4 minutes ago, Horrified said:

We all know the reason that Jesse has chosen to meet in a park.  A break-up in a public place is done to minimize the waterworks and the dramatics. (speaking from experience).  

You know what other place would have worked to reduce dramatics if that’s what he was after?  The NETHERLANDS.  By PHONE. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by sconstant

[Bugfrey Von]

YOU'VE BEEN LIKE A MOTHER TO ME.  My God, the show is just the gift that keeps on giving. I have no idea what Angela was wearing on their restaurant date, but I love it.  Whenever she wears her Dog the Bounty Hunter hair, an angel gets its wings. He bought her a cake. I’m cackling here.

Tariq and old dead eyes make me sad. 

Jesse is weird looking. I wonder what awful incident he’s referring to.  I hope Darcy kept the receipt on those veneers. They are still too big for her mouth.  I feel kind of terrible for her, thinking that she was going to get a proposal and this guy is here, flying 6000 miles across the world to dump her.  She really hasn’t gotten the hint from him that less is more as far as make up is concerned. She’s really spackling it on. 

Pole, when you have sex with a human woman in real life, and you don’t use one of your fish dick condoms, the woman can get pregnant. But really, this is a conversation for you to have with the bag of your mother’s hair.  Poor Gracilene. Was Pole even in Brazil when she got pregnant? 

[LisaWl7TR]

8 minutes ago, sconstant said:

You know what other place would have worked to reduce dramatics if that’s what he was after?  The NETHERLANDS.  By PHONE. 

I wonder - was it too early for him to be coming back for the "Tell All"?

[juicyfruit]

Did anyone else also wish that the ring Tarik put on top of the cabinet in the hotel room would mysteriously go missing?

[gavinmac]

2 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

You win. That’s hysterical.

Thanks. It was the best analogy I could think of.

If you have time, and if you're interested in the topic of Southeast Asian chicks dating American schmucks, I encourage you to read my humorous  articles "7 Reasons Why I Should Probably Marry a Cambodian Woman" and "7 Reasons Why I Probably Shouldn't Marry a Cambodian Woman" and the hundreds of angry comments in response to them.  http://www.khmer440.com/k/2011/08/7-reasons-why-i-should-marry-a-cambodian/

Edited September 24, 2018 by gavinmac

[alegtostandon]

4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

The train ride from Middletown, CT to Grand Central Station takes about 90 minutes.  I think she just wanted to be comfortable.  I am willing to wager the moment that train pulled into Grand Central, she changed back into high heels.

Didn't she do that on her original episode flying out to meet Jessie...wear comfy shoes on the plane then change to stilettos that immediately had the heel snap off when she ran to greet him.

For some reason, I wasn't able to quote the post regarding Rachel's possible job & someone mentioned doggy poopy picker upper...that's a big thing around here! 

Did anyone else catch that after Karina called the Dr (can a blood test tell how many 'weeks' pregnant you are?) & Pole said via translator app that he wants to be involved in the baby's life, Mother Katrina, via translator app said:

'A son needs to be surrounded by love'

But the caption below said:

'A child needs to be surrounded by love'

I wonder if any authorities watch this footage when approving the visa. 'My-Kell' and Hazel have no business being approved. Hazel had no interest what so ever in whatever his name is. Is she even aware of the fact that he has a special needs child she is going to have to raise?

[Gobi]

8 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Anyone notice that when Darcy was seated on the train, they showed a full body shot and she was wearing comfy black bedazzled open toed slides? Why didn't she wear those to lug all that shit up the stairs? TV drama I suppose! 

For that matter, why didn't the production team help her?

[doyouevengohere]

My thoughts added to theheap:

Angela- My favorite part of this whole entire series/empire is when Micheal hit her in the face with her bag.  I watched it 5 times.

Karine/POL- Yes, Pol, you are a terrible person. I don't think Mama Karine is scheming anything; she just wants him to leave.  Karine, however, that ain't his baby and she needed a cover- it sucks that she's legally tied to Pol now, but it is what it is- make better choices.

Jessie- Darcy's dentist is a dreamboat.  Instead of showing darcy or Jessie, just show the dentist in place of their segments.  Jessie had to break up with her in person so he could totally humiliate her.  I don't feel sorry for her, but he's a douche.

 

Hazel- Take the rich man from Japan.  Torgo is not your moneybag ticket out.  He can't even afford a whole shirt.

 

Xim- I wonder how she will take the news that he's still married? yikes

 

Marta-  Why would you book and pay for a flight when you don't even know all the info you need to enter the country?  

 

Rachel- I forgot Rachel!!!!  She can get a nice dressy dress from Amazon for under $100.  I didn't like the dress she tried on; it made her look matronly and big .  Her friend's makeup and the dress attendant's hair were awful.

Edited September 25, 2018 by doyouevengohere

[hookedontv]

7 minutes ago, Gobi said:

For that matter, why didn't th

 

7 minutes ago, Gobi said:

For that matter, why didn't the production team help her?

The production team is there to film, not to help or interfere when she makes poor decisions. Darcey has no basic life skills, and she is anything but a confident woman (as she professed when getting veneers LOL.) 

[doyouevengohere]

The camera crew can't interfere with the wildlife.

[AZChristian]

You guys are killing me with this thread.  Even more fun than the show, and a whole lot more logical.  

[booboopbedoo]

4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

So I can't stop wondering about Rachel's friend's eye makeup. Do they sell jet black eye shadow or did she spend the time to draw eyeliner on line by line until it covered the entire eyelid? Or did she use permanent marker? I mean what the hell was that? It wasn't even a goth look. She could have done the whole face goth style and it still would have looked better and more normal. 

Add in the angry looking dress attendant and I swear they are messing with us with joke extras on this show. 

I think it is Sharpie- that way it only has to be applied once.She should do Rachel's lips in a permanent smile.

The sales clerk had awesome hair! Was she doing her boyfriend in the back when they came in?

The black bra looked amazing! It will look great with her black fulled legged Spanks and clod hopper shoes.

[Kiss my mutt]

9 minutes ago, doyouevengohere said:

The camera crew can't interfere with the wildlife.

Lol “Prime Directive”

[SabineElisabeth]

I officially have a girl crush on Ximena.  Every time the girl opened her mouth and started going off again, I died.  <3

[sconstant]

45 minutes ago, alegtostandon said:

Did anyone else catch that after Karina called the Dr (can a blood test tell how many 'weeks' pregnant you are?) & Pole said via translator app that he wants to be involved in the baby's life, Mother Katrina, via translator app said:

'A son needs to be surrounded by love'

But the caption below said:

'A child needs to be surrounded by love'

This is just the translator being too specific - in a lot of languages (including Portuguese) most nouns are gendered so there’s no nongendered word for child.  So the translator app does the most specific job it can, which would have been correct if they all knew it was a boy, but in this situation the caption had the better translation, imho. 

20 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Lol “Prime Directive”

Maybe like the three laws of robotics? 

Quote

First Law: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Second Law: A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Third Law: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

First Law: A crewmember may not injure a show participant or, through inaction, allow a show participant to come to serious bodily harm.

Second Law: A crewmember must obey orders given it by producers except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Third Law: A crewmember must get good footage for the editors to use later as long as such footage-getting does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Edited September 25, 2018 by sconstant