Not saying I'm not there with popcorn on hand for the drama, but sometimes I think it would be nice to just watch a sweet love story unfold, between two reasonably equally matched people who happen to live in different countries - a la the early seasons of 90DF. Kirylam/Alan, Amy/Danny, Kyle/Noon, Loren/Alex...
Anyway, wishful and nostalgic musings aside, back to reality....
Baby Girl Lisa/Usman - BGL is so damn abrasive. Like, ALL the fucking time. And enough already with the nonstop verbal beat downs. Sit the fuck down and STFU already.
BGL and Angela both have serious anger problems stemming from overwhelming insecurities, but for the love of all things holy, if your self-esteem is that far in the toilet, then don't make matters worse by attaching yourself to someone half your freakin' age. This is not rocket science, ladies.
Ash/Avery - Avery, at the airport: "...he doesn't even realize how hard it's going to be moving forward for us." Even as she's professing her alleged love and devotion to Ash, she still just can't help oozing condescension. Not that Ash doesn't deserve every single drop of it, but come on Avery, just be honest with yourself and admit that, while the sex is mind blowing, you seriously cannot stand this wide-eyed blob of hair gel sitting atop the skinniest pair of jeggings known to man who is just so mindful of everything. Be polite, thank him for showing you around Australia in between some good fucking, and MOVE ON.
Stephanie/Erika - No idea if these two ever had a sincere intent to be in a relationship, but taking it at face value, it was just never going to work. Opposites might attract, but some differences really just can't be overcome, and I contend Rainbow Bright's happy go lucky attitude about life and Stephanie's "stick so far up her ass she needs a map to find it" disposition are wholly incompatible on a base level.
And again, just taking it at face value, good for both girls for being brave enough to be their authentic selves. And good on their parents for the accepting, loving responses. (Stephanie's mom faltered for a minute, but pulled it out in the end).
Geoffrey/Varya/Mary - I'll give it to Geoffrey, because until about 2 weeks ago, I thought Varya was the Total Package, myself. Then, she steps off the plane in Knoxville and basically transforms before our eyes into a super psycho bitch. And I actually physically cringed when Geoffrey said "... I've always loved you. Even when I was trying to cover it up with another woman...." For her sake, I hope that when Mary found out they were engaged, she told Geoffrey to "FUCK OFF," meant it, and is sticking to it. I will say that I enjoyed seeing the great footage of Knoxville. Even though I moved away 10 years ago, East TN will always be home. ❤️
Darcey/Stacey - NO IDEA why these two are still on my tv. If TLC thinks they're fan favorites, they're sadly mistaken, and both women need to get off camera and use that time for some really intensive therapy, instead.
David/Lana - Watching men (particularly old, doughy, awkward ones) try to force themselves on their love lust interests just creeps me the fuck out. David is pathetic and will find out that while I'm sure Lana appreciated the new phone, she has no intention of talking to your needy ass all hours of the day and night. Nor did she ever have any intention of marry the creep, and I have to give David a slight bit of credit for knowing this, at least in the back of his mind; hence, giving her a CZ to be replaced with a real diamond once she actually shows up in the US and fulfills her "intimacy duties" to David's satisfaction.
Big Ed/Rose Marie - Rose said everything that needed to be said, much better than I ever could. And I, for one, hope Rose updates her FB constantly to show she's in a relationship with various men (and/or women), all of whom are American and younger/wealthier/better looking than Big Ed.