Yeah No

I wish I could join in on the discussion, but I'm living through yet another nightmare right now. I don't know if any of you have followed the news regarding that storm that went up the East coast the other day but it hit CT really hard and something like 700,000 residents were left without power, me and most of my town and most of the adjacent towns were among them. Although the storm didn't feel that bad and I don't see half the destruction of other storms like Sandy and Irene, they tell us it was bad enough to cause all of this trouble. I hear there are a lot of power outages in NY and NJ as well. I don't have to tell all of you that we are all dealing with a lot already and now this - It feels like a conspiracy to prevent me from taking care of my father's apartment. I'm not going down to NY with all this going on. We are staying in a local hotel in another town which thankfully has power for the next couple of nights, but now I hear that it may take days, even WEEKS before power is restored. I can't believe this! Everyone is angry at the power company, and people around here were already angry at them for jacking up rates last month which nearly DOUBLED people's bills! The state legislature had just put a hold on that insane rate increase after many of our usually meek and mild mannered residents staged a huge protest at the capital and signed a petition which has well over 100,000 signatures already! And now they're under fire and investigation for this as well. They were supposed to have spent tons of money to be prepared for storms like this, and it's just more of the same old incompetence. This comes very soon after we spent almost a week w/o air conditioning in 95+ degree weather! And it's going up into the 90s again next week! I don't know how long I'll be able to continue to stay here - I know it's pretty crowded already and I don't know if they'll let us extend our reservation. We have a generator but have only been able to hook things up to it with extension cords so the AC is not possible, and I left the rolling AC in my father's apartment to use there. So we're totally screwed. This is a dire situation. People are acting crazy and there was a bad accident on the main road near me this morning. I don't really have the money to stay here but we just couldn't take more sweltering nights. Fortunately one of my husband's local rich clients is away and is letting us use his fridge - He has one of those very expensive whole house generators. So we packed up all the stuff from the fridge into big garbage bags and stuffed them into his Sub Zero. I had to leave some things like ketchup, mustard and BBQ sauce because there wasn't enough room, so I know things are going to spoil and get thrown away. It's unavoidable. He thinks he may have a few days propane left but he's not sure how long it will last - We may lose a couple of hundred dollars worth of groceries. He offered us to stay at his house but we don't feel comfortable with that - where would we sleep? We'd feel awkward. We needed this right now like a hole in the head. My stress level is through the roof! My best friend is STILL in the hospital - they are still trying to figure out what's wrong with her. I have to tell you guys, even my usually optimistic husband is now telling me he is right there with me in terms of attitude about all of this. WTF????? Our parents NEVER had to deal with ANYTHING even CLOSE to this at this point in their lives. They were able to retire in relative peace and not feel like it's the freaking apocalypse around every corner every freaking DAY. Anyway, @Teafortwo, I'm sorry I can't respond more right now to your posts and to others here as well. I hate to once AGAIN ask for prayers but here I am. I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take. How many tragedies and disasters can one person have to deal with in only a few months and not have a breakdown already? I'm really trying my best but it's getting harder all the time. The saying "this too shall pass" also won't help because every time I think I'm past the worst of it, another blow is just around the corner.

I pretty much could eat anything I wanted at her age and didn't even weigh 100 lbs. soaking wet. I have to have my oldest friends remind me of what I used to eat on a regular basis, which used to include fast food plus my Italian-American mother and grandmother's FANTASTIC cooking, plus ginormous sundaes, cheese omelets and "cheeseburger deluxes" at the local diners and ice cream parlors. Now at 62 I don't even eat one tenth of that and have a weight problem. Looking at her mother, I vote for the problem being in the genes.

Ah, the specific "joys" of living in NYC. 😏 Tea, having lived in apartments in NY for so much of my life, I really understand your feelings here. Boards are worthless. You mentioned a building manager - can you talk to them or their boss/company about this stuff? Because I know that a lot of what you are describing wouldn't be allowed in my father's building and the manager would be all in their faces about these things. Unless you have a weak manager. The one in my dad's building is like "Cynthia" from those Geico commercials - you know, the woman that chops down the mailbox with a chainsaw because it's "two inches over regulation". The owners thanking her is no joke - the manager can make your life miserable if you aren't cooperative. I know I have complained about her and the management co. but at least that building is run like a tight ship. So there are trade-offs to this situation. "Sigh", to live in a building with the bicycles and baby carriages in the hallway again.....Nostalgia. But in my case they were at least hidden under the stairway or in the basement hallway and not in the way. And all that other stuff would be removed as a "fire code violation". A dirty laundry room especially in the pandemic would be cleaned up post haste. But I know how limited you are in getting resolution (or peace) on any of this no matter what you do. There are so many annoyances people put up with to live in NYC and I know how the older I get the less I would be willing to put up with them, which is one big reason I'm not renovating my Dad's apartment and moving into it. Once upon a time we might have considered doing that. It's a shame, but I'm living with it. And don't worry about it feeling like "small stuff" compared to what others are going through. I also imagine that being home more because of the pandemic is only heightening the annoyance factor. If you have annoying neighbors, suddenly that becomes a bigger issue when you're home more. I remember when I lived in NYC I was out a lot so my own annoying neighbors didn't bother me as much as they would now. No way would I live with that now. It sounds like you live in a walk-up. What you talk about reminds me of my girlfriend's building when she lived in Park Slope. I would have given my right ear to live in that neighborhood, but she was forced out when the building owners (this was a rental) decided to do a major building renovation so they could cash in on co-oping it. Unfortunately she couldn't find anything affordable in Brooklyn after that and ended up in Flushing, which was inconvenient for her in a lot of ways. She ended up back in the Bronx in a rental where she started out (of course she never listened to me that she should buy a co-op in several neighborhoods, including my father's building, before they went sky high). She's my oldest friend that's in the hospital right now - The mass was removed and she's feeling MUCH better. They're just waiting for the biopsy results before letting her go home but they don't think it's cancer. I'm doing my best to be optimistic. Anyway, if you ever get tired enough I might be able to give you some advice about moving out. I used to call myself "the idiot savant of real estate" because I seem to have an innate knowledge about it, especially in the NY/CT area. Let me know! Hugs to you and don't hesitate to vent again when necessary!

I heard that Doug doesn't have that job anymore but I got that info. from another thread on the board so I don't know if it's true. Sure, he probably would like not having to do the show but he can't really complain about how she's parlayed the show and marriage into a lucrative career and taken the pressure off of him to be the major breadwinner, which looked like it was not easy for him to accomplish. I don't know if I agree with you about how "lucky" Jamie got with Doug. Other than stability I wonder just how much she compromised or settled to be with him and how much of that had to do with ensuring her continued TV exposure and the $$$ rolling in. I suppose it was lucky for her to actually get on the show and be married so she could continue with her TV ambitions though that marriage. She was just lucky that Doug wasn't a Luke or a Matt from previous seasons or she never would have been able to make it work!

Case in point: Amelia’s bridesmaids and their garish circus attire and fringed lampshade “veils.” Ridiculous. Actually, Amelia's bridesmaids seemed to be enjoying their ridiculous get ups because they were getting them attention. I'm wondering if all that fringe has something to do with Mardi Gras costumes because I've noticed that a lot of them have fringe. They reminded me of something but I can't put my finger on it. I hate that too but I think that entire ridiculous baby shtick was producer instigated because the two of them have zero interesting going on in their lives together to make for good TV. The two of them seem to be putting on an act for the cameras. I just hate that it makes Deonna look bad, because I'm sure she's not that bad! I think the producers picked up on some of the more annoying bits about her and made her exaggerate them for the show. Greg is not a good actor so it's perfect for him just to be on the eye-rolling end of it. True, but from what I have been able to find out, both Amelia and Bennett come from families with money. So I'm sure that whatever they do they'll have family support. That said, I very much doubt that Amelia would give up her medical ambitions for Bennett, nor would he expect her to. I don't think Bennett is THAT "quirky".

I'd find them more interesting if I didn't feel like they were trying so hard to be interesting! Christina doesn't seem like the kind of person with the patience to deal with someone with that much social anxiety. It's going to grate on her. She's not going to have the "aww poor thing, come to mama, I'll kiss it and make it better" attitude. Just the opposite, in fact! My father would have said he looks like he has a "turd for a necktie". I think they got together and said, "Wouldn't it be a HOOT if we could get Henry on a reality show and get him matched up at the same time?" Plus they wanted the TV exposure for themselves, too. Maybe they knew he wasn't up to being on "The Bachelor" so they thought of this show. I could see Olivia and Henry together, but I can't see Christina with Brett. I think they would be just as bad a match as Christina with Henry in a different way. I think Henry's social anxiety is probably more acute with women than it is with the rest of the world. He may be one of those people that is able to snap out of it for his career, but not with women. Think of Raj on "Big Bang Theory". He was able to talk to anyone with no problems except women for a long time! It's not Henry's introversion that's the problem. Zillions of introverts have ZERO problems forming relationships and not be awkward and pathetic with the opposite sex like Henry is. His problem is social anxiety, and there's a big difference between that and introversion. Introversion by itself is not dysfunctional and pathological, but Henry's behavior is.

Henry is so mortifyingly shy and awkward that he probably has trouble getting past a few dates with any one woman. It could mean he has too much social anxiety for most women to want to pursue a relationship with him. If he's the way he has been with Christina so far with other women on dates, he hasn't been able to interest too many women, I'm sure. He'd make anyone uncomfortable. Plus I think some of his social awkwardness is an indication of problems within relationships too. I agree with you that there is more dysfunction there, we just don't know what it is. I too have seen this scenario before! I think part of the problem with her is fear of the unknown. It's not a good idea to take something about a person out of context from other things about them and use that as a basis for giving them the "yay" or "nay". It is an easy thing to do when you're taking a big risk on marrying a stranger, though. You're already worrying that you're making a big mistake so of course you're going to find a reason to justify it. Finding "evidence" only makes the fear worse. It's hard to tell whether now that she's actually met him she's come to realize that those fears were unfounded. I still worry that she is going to let that negative first impression of him blind her to anything she might have liked about him.

I had the exact same thought, so if you and I both thought it, it MUST be true! I think they made up the "met at a party and maybe one other time" story up as a cover so they can at least be somewhat "honest" about having met before. If at the bare minimum a bride's personal style means that her bridesmaids wear a dress, I don't think that's too much to ask. After all, it's the bride's wedding and her bridesmaids should be catering to HER this time. At their wedding if it makes them happy for her to wear a tux even if she's not 100% comfortable in it, she should put aside her own comfort for their special day. That said, if the bride is OK with her bridesmaids wearing a tux, that's fine too. 40 years ago I made the mistake of giving into the dress my bridesmaids agreed upon and I still have to look at those photos 40 years later and wish I had asked them to pick something else. Meanwhile it was ONE day out of their lives and they have long forgotten what they wore or how uncomfortable they might have been in it (until I post it on Facebook, of course). Of course, if they REALLY hated it and it would be a horrible thing for them to wear what I chose I'd pick something else. I think some compromise needs to happen on both sides. I actually think Doug got lucky with Jamie. He would likely never have found a woman that attractive who found her niche on a TV show as a regular cast member and brings in the bucks while he continues to "find" himself or whatever it is he does besides take care of the kids.

From this site: https://www.cyberdefinitions.com/definitions/HWP.html

No worries, in spite of all that my life continues to find ways to top itself in the crappy department. Now we are all experiencing the effects of the pandemic on top of the usual stuff. I did hear from my friend - she is feeling MUCH better after having the mass removed. They still think it's just an infection (not the "C" word) but they are doing the biopsy, which she says they should have the results of today if you can believe that. I am just SO relieved, I can't even tell you! I didn't sleep very well last night - I think I'm going to take a nap later. My mind boggles at this kind of thing. I seriously think we have a crisis of common sense in our society these days. At least she could have come forward to ask you to open the hatch for her. Maybe she assumed you had an internally operated lift-gate, which I am pretty sure the Juke does not (I have a Rogue, which does, but I know that the smaller Rogue Sport does NOT, it's not even available as an option). So what were you supposed to do, get out of the vehicle and open it for her? If that was her expectation, it was on her to ask you to do that, but then to cop such a surly attitude on top of that is amazing, but not surprising, sadly. If they have some sort of rule or procedure, it's on them to tell you what it is, not to expect you to know. And they probably don't, so her expectation was even more presumptuous. The ignorance of people these days is depressing. Interestingly, I just placed a pick-up order with Lowe's last night. I have to replace my rolling kitchen island/sideboard because the old one was a piece of junk and after 10 years is literally falling apart (I should have known better to buy it at Big Lots, but there you go). I was going to buy it on Amazon but only 2 days after adding a couple of this brand and color to my wishlist, it was suddenly sold out with no warning. Usually on Amazon the site tells you there are only a few left and to order soon. Not this time! I couldn't believe it - even the Home Depot was suddenly out of stock. I noticed that even most of the other colors were out of stock as well - I wanted white. The only site I could find it on was Lowe's and even there it warned that it was almost out of stock. Fortunately Lowe's price was the same low price I found on Amazon, so I was lucky. I elected to pick it up at the store because this week we're going to see some bad weather as a storm moves up the coast, plus I don't know what day I'm going to NYC yet. I just didn't want a huge box being delivered in a nasty rain storm or have to sit outside all day if we're not home. I figure this way we can pick it up on a day that works for us. Even though they said it would be there by Aug. 5, the site warns that there could be delays due to the pandemic. So anyway, thanks for the warning about Lowe's pickup - I deliberately chose a nicer Lowe's a little further away because the one in the town closest to us is one I'd like to avoid just because of past experience with employees that either are not with it, or the store being disorganized about stuff like this - I once ordered something for pick up at the closer Lowe's and they spent an hour trying to find it! The Home Depot in that town is no better. So I hope I chose a better Lowe's, LOL. I'll let you know how it turns out.

My hair comes out so smooth and dries so quickly with the new AC, it's amazing. And I don't have to crank it up either or feel sweaty while blow drying. Given that we're told the average life expectancy of an AC unit is 16 years, I hope I live longer than that. But I don't know if I'll be living here if I make it to that age, which would be 77. I would hope to be somewhere that would require less expense and upkeep. I didn't hear from my friend today. I left her a voicemail in the afternoon, but haven't heard back. Unfortunately she doesn't really have any close relatives nearby that I know and could contact. I know of one friend - the one that drove her to the hospital, but the only contact info. I have on her was through a zoom meeting we had on our mutual friend's birthday. So I could probably track her down. She is not someone I know very well. I don't even know her last name. Of course I am still worried. I will call the hospital tomorrow afternoon if I don't hear from her before then. You know, when you asked me if this wasn't the worst year of my life I had to think about that. I think the year I lost my mother was just as bad in its own way because only 2 months later we had September 11th, which hit me hard because I knew people who died and got hurt. And that wasn't the only thing, I had just come out of the only clinical depression I ever experienced. We had just moved to this area and that was also a big stress producer. Hubbie had just lost his own mom only months before mine died. Then my father lost 2 of his best friends in addition to my mom. 2001 was a real s__t-fest of a year. Thanks for your good wishes - they mean more than you know!

I think David's personality has also changed a lot even since only a couple of years ago. He's just as different on "Lottery Dream Home" from 2018 as he was on "Color Splash"! I can't imagine what could have made him change so much in such a short time. I've theorized that it coincided with a big break up from his ex. But who knows? He would probably want to argue with us that he's more "fabulous" now than before and that he's more "himself" now too, but I sense fakeness in him now that I didn't feel before. Me and my fancy graduate degree in Psychology thinks he's reacting to some kind of pain, and it feels kind of sad.

I can't tell who won based on this segment as none of the contestants looks much skinnier than the others. Of the guys that tapped out this episode, one (Mark?) had trichinosis - Should I presume from undercooking his rabbit? He had a lot wrong with him - it was a good thing he tapped out when he did.

I actually think this season has been pretty interesting. The show has been in the Arctic before but I don't remember this many rabbits. It was hard to see them struggling in the traps, though, especially after seeing a sweet little bunny bouncing around on my lawn this morning. We have been seeing some wildlife we didn't see in previous seasons, like musk ox and fox. I just knew the tall skinny guys would be the next to tap out. I think their high metabolisms and need for more calories don't help, plus now the contestants don't seem to want to do any major harm to their bodies - good for them. It does seem like more people are tapping out relatively early, but maybe my expectations were raised this season by the 100 day goal. Going into this episode I told my husband that Amos is the dark horse this season. I still think so. He seems to be comfortable dealing with difficult circumstances given his background. Although I would ideally like to see a woman win this season (finally) and Callie has become my favorite. Callie and all her many bunnies. How great that both of the women are still there with only 4 left! No Roland this episode - I pictured him spending all those days chewing on his musk ox bones.

As someone who just went almost a week without AC in the 95 degree heat and humidity, I feel your pain. We had to get a completely new unit plus air handler. The existing ductwork didn't need any work. Around here that stuff is frightfully expensive, and you do get what you pay for. The company we used was very highly recommended and they did a fantastic job. So we had to take it out on credit. Thankfully we had paid off the new furnace this March so it won't feel quite so bad even though both of us aren't working. The new AC is glorious, though, even better and quieter than the old one. I no longer break out in a sweat blow drying my hair. You're going to feel so much better! In other news, my best friend in the Bronx had laparoscopic surgery today to remove the unidentified mass on her neck. They are going to biopsy it. I am very worried about her. I have had no news yet and I'm on pins and needles. Of course I fear the worst. I just lost my father, if I lost my closest and longest female friend who has been like a sister to me it would be devastating. I really need to be more optimistic, but lately the hits just keep on coming.