the-grey-lady

OMG, how I loved the long-awaited nuptials of Sojaboy and BGL! Let me count the ways. -- BGL insisting that she would push her breasts to the right height, as if she controls gravity like she controls her "mens." -- BGL thoughtfully arranging her wedding veil over her fanciest Goody claw clip. -- Sojaboy's mother informing the audience that BGL beter get to producing two kids, stat, without regard to whether or not BGL is too old to tote an aig. -- Sojaboy's brothers shading BGL as old and fat on her wedding day. -- The overjoyed wedding guests wearing expressions more suited to a funeral for a head of state. -- The officiant including the equivalent of [insert name here] in the vows. -- Sojaboy thoughtfully using his stage name during his vows. -- Sojaboy's reception love song. The gift that keep on giving, these two star-crossed lovers.

Nurie's head is way too big for her body in that picture. She looks like a lollipop. Or one of those drinking birds, with necks that keep falling under her own weight. I want to send Nurie a hamburger.

Jason: "I feel like Sunhe might be too intrusive to Viviana." FTFY, Spiney McSpineless

I've watched the teaser for this season a few times, and I feel like an awful lot of the people featured in it never made it into this season. Am I (just) crazy?

I'm choosing to believe that Jesse's mother is embarrassed to be on this show, so she's choosing to hide her real identity by wearing that Raggedy Anne wig. I'm choosing to believe that because I need to believe that. Please do not wreck my delusion, thanks.

Back to add... How many times have we seen Lisa throw a tantrum that ended with, "I'm out!" This was the worst one yet. She asks Usman's brothers for their opinion on her fights with Usman, Usman says he doesn't want to discuss this with his brothers, she ignores his pleas and plows on ahead, the brothers listen politely and offer reasonable, well-thought out advice based on their experience and culture...and Lisa throws a fit. Wow, Usman must feel like he's living in a fairy tale with BGL.

Is there a reason why Darcey and Stacey talk primarily in motivational quotes? Perhaps the excess silicone leaching into their bodies makes sentence construction more difficult? Seriously. "He loved love"? That's just gibberish.

Not much interesting in this latest episode, but I got a nice guffaw out of the moment with Anny patiently described her symptoms to Robert -- fatigue, puking IN THE MORNINGS -- to Robert, FATHER OF FIVE, and he stared at her blankly and replied, "I'm not sure what she's trying to say." Tired and sick every morning? Wow, WHAT COULD IT BE?

Stephanie asked Erika to drive three hours so they could spend a few minutes sitting in uncomfortable silence, broken up by yet another of Stephanie's lame-ass apologies? I hope Erika had something fun with her friends planned for later.

I'm catching up on past episodes. I can't be the only one who laughed out loud when Julia accused Natasha of trying to sabotage her as a performer. Julia, have you heard Natasha sing? She doesn't need to sabotage anybody, especially not you. She is LIT.

What a terrifying sales pitch. I may never sleep again.

What will I do to try to stop her from yapping so much? I haven't decided yet.

We are also sick of all talk and no action from you, Mariah. SO MUCH TALKING.

I want to eat with all y'all. I'm getting hungry.

What a wasted hour and a half in this den of delusion, with only Charly as the dimmest light. I thought for sure Teretha's husband was going to fall over dead when she was working him like a mule. I laughed mirthlessly when Teretha, sitting alone in a bed, insisted she was "too busy" to attend therapy appointments. And Charity, trying mightily to manipulate her poor daughter while enjoying a vodka cran over breakfast? Oy.