the-grey-lady

I usually spend my viewing time thinking about how much I loathe Whitney...but today's viewing was markedly different. I spent it thinking about how much I hate her fucking friends. Cheesus, that cookout. What a bunch of bitter, mean-spirited, passive-aggressive assholes. Only Ryan seemed to be making the slightest effort to be civil, let alone friendly. TLC, can you stop trying to make Buddy happen? If we weren't quite sure before this episode, we are now. Buddy is a nasty, unlikable jackass. I can't imagine why Whitney wants to stay friends with him at all.

In all fairness, Kody NEVER walked around the cul-de-sac. He always ran, fright wig a-flyin'- from house to house, complaining all the way. I'm sure that was exhausting.

For someone who cannot do absolutely anything for herself, including acquiring the enormous pile of junk she eats, Tammy spends an awful lot of time sighing and scowling.

I'm currently about 140 lbs, and my eating habit consists of too many brownies, lots of coffee, and a whole lotta gateway fruit. I hope I don't sink the basket.

Every time I saw Bethany and Sheldon next to one another, I recited that old nursery rhyme about Jack Sprat. Is there room in your handbasket?

Every time I see that list, I'm shocked anew to see James K's weight GAIN on there.

Meri doesn't do light and fun.

All hail the episode 3 recap! Holy Hell, these people are unending pits of misery and despair.

All right, folks, your episode 3 recap is available! I wish I could say it was a labor of love, but I can't lie to my fellow snarkers.

Just wanna let y'all know that I haven't forgotten this week's recap! I had an extended houseguest stay that I hadn't been expecting. My plan is to get your recap written tonight. Preemptive condolences of chocolate and/or vodka can be sent c/o The Grey Lady. Thanks.

Wow. If those two star-crossed lovers can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us? And to think, I used to believe in love...

Is absolutely everything, no matter how banal, a revelation for her? "Wow! Moving around helps with weight loss! Who knew? An ancient Sanskrit scroll reveals shocking weight loss tips!"

Oh holy hell, I'm getting an ad for Twinings Daily Wellness tea -- with nutritional rockstars like tumeric and anise to aid digestion. I am DEAD.

Or Golden Corral. I'll just see myself out.

I love how the "wives" assume that any of their neighbors' objections are rooted entirely opposition to plural marriage, and not in opposition to living next to a whole mess o' narcissistic, self-absorbed assholes, who come complete with a camera crew.