the-grey-lady

Excuse you. Nick has a job. He's a professional thinker. No more important job than Nick pondering the secrets and mysteries of human existence.

I've watched about 76 seasons of Sister Wives, and I never thought I could detest someone as much as Kody Brown, but wow, Garrick is testing my certainty. When he started mansplaining women's petty emotions, I wanted to punch him through the TV. I feel that way often, but it was somehow worse this time around. If I have to watch Dannnnielle sobbing about how she knows God wants them to do this when she is clearly abjectly miserable, I'm going to impersonate God myself to convince her otherwise. If this is what God wants for her, he wants her to be desperately unhappy.

Garrick doesn't care if Dannnnielle is unhappy.

"Money" and "music" made my day. Maybe my week.

You won't find Garrick any more endearing with time. I promise.

Weird Primetimer thing, sorry.

Are you sure about that? You don't want to rethink that? 😉 Remember how his wives bow down to him? He's running quite the rackett.

Not music! Cue shocked Pikachu face. Ah, but this works out perfectly for her. She gets the lame perks of "working" for Plexus and she gets to feel superior to the heathens who aren't favored by God. Wow, I barely recognize her here. Did she forget to trowel on 7 inches of makeup with a garden spade?

That neon yellow shirt was A Choice. Not a good one, mind you.

"Please don't feel envious of me." Consider it done.

Gilligan was less annoying, too.

Does she want my honest opinion?

I mean this literally: "Jed" looks strange to me now.

Probably not much. Unless you consider buying expensive sneakers, eating expensive food, and preaching with all the charisma of paste just fascinating.

Then you really should watch Jeremy preach.

She wanted them to look like they're covered in infected pustules?

That's hilarious, but if she doesn't wear her snazzy cowgirl outfit, I'm going to be really disappointed.

Oh wow, a parent feeding their own child. Alert the media. My husband used to feed our baby and then make dinner for us. He must qualify for sainthood. Fundies' standards are painfully low.

You'd get better food in jail. And more of it.

And then those squished, fully-dressed adults ambush you and try to win your soul.

Barely. We're lucky he's such a pillar of strength.

I hope he designs jewelry next.

This is absolutely true, and totally galling, because he never would've have visited her, big fancy house either. Meri's had an elevator, and did he ever step foot in it?

What is it with that jackass and thinking people wanting to help out family members with medical needs is a vacation?

That was beautiful. He stayed good to the end. What a lovely redemption for Riley.