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Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp


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1 hour ago, queenanne said:

I’ve never heard of a coed shower, though I grant the last time my friends popped out kids was about a decade ago.  Is it really that widespread?

I went to some coed showers in the very late 80s and early 90s. And I recently heard about quite few in my other state of sometime residence, although my understanding is that they haven't had many until just recently. So the history may vary regionally. 

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2 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

Seriously, whatever happened to dressing up and attending a nice lunch being given by the new  mom's mother's best friend and watching her unwrap some lovely packages from female friends and family?  It's like now you need a DATE for a damn shower. And don't wear your good clothes or heels because who knows what gross games you'll be pressured into playing.  And with menfolk attending, drinking seens to have become more of a thing, too.  Plus with the dads coming along there is nobody home to watch the kids.  So by all means, everyone, bring your 900 brats along to run wild through the proceedings.  And get ready to do it all again for baby 2, 3, 4 ... ugh!

Excuse me, I need to go chase some kids off my lawn and then I need to travel back several decades in my time machine. Later!

Take me along, PLEASE!

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25 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I went to some coed showers in the very late 80s and early 90s. And I recently heard about quite few in my other state of sometime residence, although my understanding is that they haven't had many until just recently. So the history may vary regionally. 

No offense to anyone’s friends or family, but I’d be side eyeing anyone who couldn’t have a shower without dragging along a man at their side...  I have a friend whose boyfriend was so insecure she made everything into ‘ladies’ night... and Jeff”, which I always thought was a good way to block any men from approaching me on such nights.  Exceptions can be made on a case by case basis for mates or male relations of the showerees.

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1 hour ago, lulu69 said:

That could be our new catch phrase. Would you like a root canal? Yeah, no thanks, I'd rather sleep with Smuggar. How about I chop off your arm? Yeah, no thanks, I'd rather sleep with Smuggar. Although honestly, I really cant think of anything i wouldn't choose over sleeping with Smuggar.

Would you sleep with Smuggar for a Klondike Bar? Would I kiss my sister-in-law on the lips? Nah...I would rather sleep with Smuggar.

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48 minutes ago, queenanne said:

No offense to anyone’s friends or family, but I’d be side eyeing anyone who couldn’t have a shower without dragging along a man at their side...  I have a friend whose boyfriend was so insecure she made everything into ‘ladies’ night... and Jeff”, which I always thought was a good way to block any men from approaching me on such nights.  Exceptions can be made on a case by case basis for mates or male relations of the showerees.

Yeah, I think they go two ways. Some are about dragging men along. And that can be ridiculous. 

 The first ones I went to back in the old days, though, were about couples in which the prospective fathers were determined to be as invested in their upcoming kids as the moms and wanted to live in that style and have their friends live in it as well. The first one I went to, for example, was for a couple in which the man was going to be the primary stay-at-home parent almost from the get-go. Etc. Those showers were actually just fun parties with a bunch of people who got along and enjoyed celebrating the babies folks were having. There were no girly-shower-giggles or stupid games. Just gifts for expected and wanted babies and their parents/families from friends -- married, single, straight, and, importantly, gay -- who were committed to being that kind of community of friends. The gay thing, for example, is important. Which of the two guys stays away from the party for his own baby when those guys celebrate the coming birth of their surrogate's child? .... I was lucky enough to live in a very enlightened and non-sexist community of friends, so these showers weren't weird at all. They were some of my favorite parties ever! (and I don't say that about many baby showers!)

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On 1/8/2018 at 6:01 AM, EVS said:

That’s a little unfair. They can count past 6 or even 10. Why do you think they run around barefoot or in flip flop so much? ?

We know they can count to 20.  Anything after 20?  Your guess is as good as mine!

I remember when Jessa and Jinger worked at Mama Carmens or whatever the hell that was called and Jessa was counting the money they earned.  I don't remember HOW she did it, but I remember she had a weird way of counting the money.  

2 hours ago, lulu69 said:

That could be our new catch phrase. Would you like a root canal? Yeah, no thanks, I'd rather sleep with Smuggar. How about I chop off your arm? Yeah, no thanks, I'd rather sleep with Smuggar. Although honestly, I really cant think of anything i wouldn't choose over sleeping with Smuggar.

Is Smuggar the new Grosser than Gross joke?  Would you rather suck the innards out of a cockroach or have sex with Smuggar?

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The one good thing you can say about sex with Smuggar Duggar is that it would be over fast. No foreplay, two pump chump, no cuddling after. He probably wouldn't even care if you wore a paper bag over your head so you wouldn't have to look at him. 

Pass the brain bleach. 

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29 minutes ago, Heathen said:

The one good thing you can say about sex with Smuggar Duggar is that it would be over fast. No foreplay, two pump chump, no cuddling after. He probably wouldn't even care if you wore a paper bag over your head so you wouldn't have to look at him. 

Pass the brain bleach. 

I would pretend I was dead and think about Harrison Ford the whole time. Heading to the Prayer Closet with a bottle of heavy duty brain bleach.

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I have a friend who says, ‘I’d rather clean all of the bathrooms in Grand Central Station. With my tongue.’ (I don’t think she made it up; it was a quote from somewhere, a song possibly.) So that’s my standard, and I still wouldn’t have sex with Smugger. I’d rather do almost anything than give that foul git an orgasm.

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These people have turned what should be a blessed (and in some cases, a miracle) event into a complete shit show.  For their constant proclamations of how special their blessings are, one would think they honor the parents with the respect they deserve.  Instead, they make it look like an elementary school food fight and show how clueless they really are.  If there was only a place where they could send their children to learn the three Rs and some decorum.  

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7 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

What gender is purple/pink/orange?

Either that, or someone clueless about the joys of a colorful Holi celebration.  Definitely skimping on the colors. 

All these rednecks don’t realize how much cool shit they’re borrowing from Indian culture.

Edited by Arwen Evenstar
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My saying is "No thank you I'd rather have mice wax my legs."   As for baby showers, I'm used to attending them after the kid is born, so it was more "Hooray the baby is here!" and everyone came.   All the hoo-hah and fol-de-rol should be about raising the baby to be healthy and happy and smart.  Not like any of these kids will have a shot at that.

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4 hours ago, XrystalPond said:

I'm of the Miranda on Sex and the City school of baby showers. Give me some fried chicken, no games, no oohs and ahhs. Leave your present and I'll open it later. 

I absolutely loathe shower games. That why, at my bridal shower, we played poker. 

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2 hours ago, Portia said:

I don't mean to offend, but I'm a little bewildered by this statement. Did you honestly worry that people wouldn't be able to celebrate the new life of your child without them dwelling on the particulars of his or her conception? If so, do you feel awkward celebrating your birthday because it's a yearly reminder that your parents had sex? We all got here the same way, and there's no shame in it. It's just the way the world is and always has been. I definitely support your right to opt out of a shower if you didn't want one, but I suspect you would have been the only one dwelling on the sex if you'd had one. 

I run in pretty conservative Christian circles, and even when a baby has been conceived in so-called "shameful" circumstances, decent folks love to celebrate a sweet new life. Babies give people a little glimmer of hope for this rotten world. 

But baby shower games . . . yeah, they pretty much suck. 

 

I completely agree with the bolded. Also, like many others on this board, I'm not a fan of baby showers. I only had one with my youngest and it was a surprise shower. If I had been in on it, it never would've happened. I do appreciate everyone thinking of me and the new baby, though. But...is it just me, or does a baby shower for the last baby (when there isn't a huge gap between babies) seem...odd...?

At any rate, baby showers are different for this generation, for sure!

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35 minutes ago, XrystalPond said:

I was just being sarcastic and bringing a bit of my Russian humor into the situation. My Russian family members aren't big on the whole, "Congratulations on the baby" thing. The more appropriate cultural response there is more one of sympathy that you have sleepless nights and hard work ahead. I tend to lean toward the pragmatic side of things because of that being drilled into me. It became a running joke among my Russian relatives and friends that my American family and friends are ready to congratulate and celebrate much more easily than we did at that time. 

I'm hardly anti-baby or child. I have always found the sentiment of congratulations to be not quite right for me when it comes to birthdays, babies, marriages, etc. To me, congratulations has always indicated a level of work or effort that should be rewarded with awe and appreciation. I'm not saying that I don't acknowledge the good in those things. I just do so with a tone that is more in line with my thought on the subject. I hope that you have a wonderful day for your birthday! How lovely that you and _____ are getting married. Welcome to the world to your baby! That being said, I'm probably more likely to congratulate a friend on her divorce, as I am happy that she/he is getting away from an unhealthy situation. 

It's one of those things that I find interesting with families like the Duggars. Far be it from me to declare one or the other wrong or right. It's just fascinating from a cultural standpoint to see that in the world of the Duggars, the conception of a baby is more important on the scale than an educational or career achievement. That could simply be editing, but I have my doubts on that. We all have our priorities in life. 

What a thoughtful and interesting response. As a teacher of English as a Second Language, I should have picked up on your earlier comment about your Russian heritage shaping your attitudes. Thank you for not taking any offense even though I clearly missed some signals along the way.  :-)

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On 1/12/2018 at 0:04 AM, Portia said:

I don't mean to offend, but I'm a little bewildered by this statement. Did you honestly worry that people wouldn't be able to celebrate the new life of your child without them dwelling on the particulars of his or her conception? If so, do you feel awkward celebrating your birthday because it's a yearly reminder that your parents had sex? We all got here the same way, and there's no shame in it. It's just the way the world is and always has been. I definitely support your right to opt out of a shower if you didn't want one, but I suspect you would have been the only one dwelling on the sex if you'd had one. 

I run in pretty conservative Christian circles, and even when a baby has been conceived in so-called "shameful" circumstances, decent folks love to celebrate a sweet new life. Babies give people a little glimmer of hope for this rotten world. 

But baby shower games . . . yeah, they pretty much suck. 

It's actually interesting because I've heard women talk about being uncomfortable with being pregnant since it was a definite sign they had sex. There has been a societal shift over the past decade with "accentuating the bump" and embracing it, but it wasn't all that long ago that a lot of women would try and disguise their pregnancies. There are only two pictures of my mother pregnant whatsoever and it wasn't uncommon for her generation to avoid the camera during pregnancy. One she was a bridesmaid in a wedding and couldn't get out of the group photo. She was holding something over her stomach to try and hide it. The other was taken by my father when she wasn't looking.

The idea of a baby was great news but sex was still taboo. There probably are some old biddies out there still judging.

I do love the response when unwanted strangers pat pregnant people's bellies. "You do realize you are patting my uterus". Somehow that turns a lot of people off.

The Duggar women do take the "accentuating the bump" to a brand new level though.

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On 1/11/2018 at 7:34 AM, Churchhoney said:

Well, she's the star of the show. So maybe she's saving her announcement to be the big finish of this pregnancy round. 

After all, she'll be the first of the mentionable Duggarlings to get to three. 

I'm banking on all the announcements in one day......

JoylessAnna has a baby!

Si and Lauren are engaged!

Jessa is pregnant with #3!

Because: they do everything a little different *eyeroll*

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2 minutes ago, McManda said:

I'm pretty convinced that they don't actually know what they're saying. Instead they just string together words they've pulled from the Gothard/Bible grab bag. It's like the religious version of madlibs.

Best. Post. Ever!

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On 1/14/2018 at 1:30 AM, PikaScrewChu said:

It's actually interesting because I've heard women talk about being uncomfortable with being pregnant since it was a definite sign they had sex. There has been a societal shift over the past decade with "accentuating the bump" and embracing it, but it wasn't all that long ago that a lot of women would try and disguise their pregnancies. There are only two pictures of my mother pregnant whatsoever and it wasn't uncommon for her generation to avoid the camera during pregnancy. One she was a bridesmaid in a wedding and couldn't get out of the group photo. She was holding something over her stomach to try and hide it. The other was taken by my father when she wasn't looking.

 

Pregnancy used to be referred to as 'being in the family way.'  It wasn't so long ago that you couldn't even say the word pregnant on television in America.  In 1952, Lucy Ricardo was 'specting her first child on the I Love Lucy show and the couple slept in separate twin beds on the show.  Throughout Lucy's pregnancy, the word pregnant was never used.  In the 1950s and early 1960s, pregnant teachers had to resign at three months because it was considered improper to expose school children to a pregnant woman – even though many grade school kids lived in homes with a pregnant mom. We've gone from that attitude to women posing nude while pregnant.

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On 1/12/2018 at 9:47 AM, XrystalPond said:

I was just being sarcastic and bringing a bit of my Russian humor into the situation. My Russian family members aren't big on the whole, "Congratulations on the baby" thing. The more appropriate cultural response there is more one of sympathy that you have sleepless nights and hard work ahead. I tend to lean toward the pragmatic side of things because of that being drilled into me. It became a running joke among my Russian relatives and friends that my American family and friends are ready to congratulate and celebrate much more easily than we did at that time. 

I'm hardly anti-baby or child. I have always found the sentiment of congratulations to be not quite right for me when it comes to birthdays, babies, marriages, etc. To me, congratulations has always indicated a level of work or effort that should be rewarded with awe and appreciation. I'm not saying that I don't acknowledge the good in those things. I just do so with a tone that is more in line with my thought on the subject. I hope that you have a wonderful day for your birthday! How lovely that you and _____ are getting married. Welcome to the world to your baby! That being said, I'm probably more likely to congratulate a friend on her divorce, as I am happy that she/he is getting away from an unhealthy situation. 

It's one of those things that I find interesting with families like the Duggars. Far be it from me to declare one or the other wrong or right. It's just fascinating from a cultural standpoint to see that in the world of the Duggars, the conception of a baby is more important on the scale than an educational or career achievement. That could simply be editing, but I have my doubts on that. We all have our priorities in life. 

I agree so much with this!!! I always find it weird to congratulate people on things like marriages, children, and birthdays. 

If someone has celebrated a milestone marriage (like 25 or 50 years), that is something to congratulate. If someone is getting out of an unhealthy marriage, that is also something to congratulate. 

I'd congratulate someone, for instance, when their child graduates high school. That is 18 yearsof hard work, not just having sex. 

I'd be happy to congratulate someone who made it to 90 or 100, because obviously they have been doing something right!!!

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1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I agree so much with this!!! I always find it weird to congratulate people on things like marriages, children, and birthdays. 

If someone has celebrated a milestone marriage (like 25 or 50 years), that is something to congratulate. If someone is getting out of an unhealthy marriage, that is also something to congratulate. 

I'd congratulate someone, for instance, when their child graduates high school. That is 18 yearsof hard work, not just having sex. 

I'd be happy to congratulate someone who made it to 90 or 100, because obviously they have been doing something right!!!

I'd congratulate the kid and not the parents on the graduation. 

Also I lost quite a few people before 90 or 100 through no fault of their own.  There's a lot of luck involved in long life and I would be careful a lot of people will be easily offended on that.

I think a lot of times congratulations is used as synonym for happy. Congrats on your birthday versus Happy birthday! 

Edited by Temperance
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2 hours ago, Lunera said:

Joy's very first #besthubbyever post. He looks like such a douche. 

1. Austin looks like one of the douchebags from my days as an educational assistant in a behavior support classroom.  He’s totally the kid who would turn on the charm for the lead teacher and his girlfriend’s parents but in reality is a borderline sociopath.

2. Joy, you are carrying his child.  You are sacrificing your little teenaged body for the heir to his Jesus throne.  He is giving and sacrificing because it’s his duty as your husband to do so. Or you know, as a decent human being.  I wonder what he is giving her?  Food and shelter? Attention?

Joy reminds me of my friends who praise their husbands for babysitting their own kid or changing a couple of diapers.  I once had a friend who posted a sappy Facebook post because her husband was thoughtful enough to pack a healthy breakfast for her—a vine of grapes and a granola bar.  I lost my everloving mind on that one. 

Edited by Spencer Hastings
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2 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Sacrificial, Christ-like love? FFS that's disturbing.

Is Joy smart enough to know the word "sacrificial" or even how to spell it?  I don't think she wrote the post.  And, he looks like a cross between a frat boy and a chimp.

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Mr Trillium once drove me at 2am to Chicago (3 hour drive) so I could make a flight to visit my parents in Florida, when my flight from our city  to Chicago got cancelled. After he dropped me off, he got caught in a blizzard and it took him 7 hours to drive back home. Thats is self sacrifice. 

 

I don’t know what this tool boy does that makes him hashtagbesthusbandever. Going to work or not being a dick are just being a hastaghuman things Joy. But her dad was King Duche Bob, so the bar probably is very low. 

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3 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Sacrificial, Christ-like love? FFS that's disturbing.

Yeah, it’s disturbing since it’s parrot speak for them. The Apostle Paul wrote that a man should love his wife as Christ loved the Church. This, in turn, is supposed to mean service (treating her like a queen) and true, sacrificial love (going without something to ensure her health and comfort and their children’s.  It’s actually a tall order. In some parts of Fundieland, it’s all about wifely submission.

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 Just once I’d like to see this crew be able to post a photo caption without all the required Christian jargon and hashtags.   Not every single minute of the day requires a bible reference or buzzword.  They are like the man beating his chest saying ‘look at me, aren’t I a wonderful person’ In the parable. 

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4 hours ago, Lunera said:

Joy's very first #besthubbyever post. He looks like such a douche. 

This is very much so Gothard marriage counseling stuff -- the woman (or in this case, girl) is supposed to loudly proclaim all of the good attributes of her man.

I know that it's popular among the young fundie women to post stuff about #besthubbieever, so I hope that's all it is and not marital issues starting already. Because, really, what could go wrong when you marry someone you've never spoken to privately and get knocked up after one week?

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I wonder if Austin has used an acne medication that over-dried his skin. Accutane made my son's skin desert-dry, so for a while he had that combination of acne and forehead lines. His skin cleared up and his acne scars faded, but the forehead lines remained, though they were less prominent after he went off the medicine. 

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2 hours ago, Trillium said:

But her dad was King Duche Bob, so the bar probably is very low. 

Exactly. Every time one of the Duggarling women says something like this, first I think, Oh, good grief. And then I remember who their father is. .... The bar is unbelievably low, and I think that, while part of their blathering about their wonderful husbands is made-for-Teevee Gothardspeak, some of it is genuine and they really are amazed, shocked, and touched when some guy brings them a carton of yogurt..... I mean, I don't think their brothers ever bring them cartons of yogurt either. They're not used to males doing anything at all in the caregiving realm. And I mean not anything. 

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5 hours ago, Lunera said:

Joy's very first #besthubbyever post. He looks like such a douche. 

Ew.  Yes. The nostrils, and I maintain, simian-like features. Not my cup of tea but glad she’s happy!  ?

5 hours ago, Mollie said:

Pregnancy used to be referred to as 'being in the family way.'  It wasn't so long ago that you couldn't even say the word pregnant on television in America.  In 1952, Lucy Ricardo was 'specting her first child on the I Love Lucy show and the couple slept in separate twin beds on the show.  Throughout Lucy's pregnancy, the word pregnant was never used.  In the 1950s and early 1960s, pregnant teachers had to resign at three months because it was considered improper to expose school children to a pregnant woman – even though many grade school kids lived in homes with a pregnant mom. We've gone from that attitude to women posing nude while pregnant.

I always assumed their referring to it as “expecteeng “ has its roots in these ideas. So far it’s only been Jill the midwife who blatantly says “pregnit”. 

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