That's so interesting! I could definitely see it being a little bit of both. Derick probably saw it as an easy way to get fame and money, which was obviously misguided on his part. He was probably also a lot like many average guys...not attractive but not hideous (then), and just normal...who had trouble getting laid, because they just have zero game. And then once the duggars got their claws into him, they did manipulate him. It was unfortunate from all sides, and I think everyone has buyer's remorse now.
I've been thinking about what WOULD make them happy. Derick seems hard to please, so it's difficult to decide what would make the perfect wife for him. First of all, I think he should have gotten his career path 100% locked down before he even thought about marriage. Honestly, having a few flings wouldn't have hurt him, either. He could see what kind of girl he liked, and get people skills. I can't see him with some edgy rebel, or a girl more accomplished than him, but there's a LOT of gray area between a rebel / careerwoman and Jill. He might have liked a woman who had a career like nursing or teaching, like he THOUGHT Jill was capable of doing. He might also have enjoyed having a SAHM, since he would have a stable career, but one who is capable and organized. He definitely does not do well with a stage five clinger. I think he for sure needed someone who wanted to wait a few years on kids, and who didn't have an extremely intrusive family. Maybe he would have liked not having kids at all, but he for sure should have not had a honeymoon baby. He could even have gone on a long term mission with a competent wife, had fun doing that for a few years, and then come home, settled down, and worked at Walmart as they started their family. A lot of women wouldn't tolerate his career flip flopping, and maybe he needed a wife who would whip his butt into gear if he waffled around. If his wife was paying all the ills on a teacher's salary, she would have been more motivated to insist he have a career. Having someone who blindly adores him doesn't seem to be a good choice for him. Maybe Derick would enjoy children more who were raised by a more intelligent mother, who gave them routines and structure. Of course, this is also on him, but obviously Jill has more control over the kids' daily lives as a SAHM. If the boys had routine and structure, plus he wasn't living in a depressing, beige environment with unappetizing food, he might thrive a little better. Plus, he might not have had his jaw surgery without being on TV, and if he had a more intelligent wife, she probably would have helped him with the aftercare / notice if he had a problem with any pills he was prescribed.
As for Jill...I really don't know. The only type of guy I could see her happy with is someone who constantly, constantly babies her and makes his life all about her needs. Derick was sort of like this during the honeymoon period, but few guys can keep this up forever. I would also worry about a guy who *was* like this, because he would probably eventually snap. Jill seems so anxious, and definitely needs therapy before she can be in a happy relationship. It makes me sad how her parents have made her forever thirteen. She needs coping skills, confidence, and self-worth in order to thrive in any relationship. She also needs the self-awareness to realize she doesn't need 749274 kids with her temperament, and that she needs to change how she is raising the kids she has. In a normal world, where she could have been a nurse, and developed some independence, she and Derick might have been a much better match. If she had gone to a real high school and college, and was less clingy / more self aware, she might actually have been a wife who would have meshed well with his personality!
It's kind of funny, because I believe that Derick is a much worse partner (in this marriage) than Jill, but he would have potentially thrived with another partner, if he had stayed single longer, and put off having kids. Jill, who seems to have good intentions, and seems to try harder than Derick to be a good partner, really needs therapy before being with anyone!