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Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp


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After two close votes, this is the title that eventually scraped by. 

Here's the place to talk about Joy and her courtship with Austin.

DO NOT assume, mention, intimate, speculate, announce or otherwise name Joy as a victim. This has been announced several times and posts will be just be removed. There is a difference between saying: The damage Josh did when he molested and attacked his sisters affected the whole family, growing up in a family with sex abuse totally screws with you (totally ok) and: The damage Josh did when he molested Joy (her) is there for everyone to see (totally not ok). Yes it's splitting hairs, but we're keeping in line with the redacted police report and allowing the victims to address it as they see fit. 

Chat away!

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GUH!  I'm saying this:. Dear sweet baby Jesus, from the bottom of my little grinch heart, I am soooo grateful that my family didn't feel the need to capture my very first puppy love and turn him into my lifelong mate.   I hope it works for the long term and they are very happy forever.  

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Joy is going to have to work full time at that camp. She has previously been there on retreat or as a youth volunteer which is very different than what looks like a life filled with hard work. I think Jill also found that a one week missioncation is very different than actually working and living it. At least Austin is cute and I don't get a creepy vibe from him.

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I haven't seen either American Pie or Band Camp, but my kids were in their high school years  (well, tween through college if you want to make it completely inclusive) throughout that general time period. I get the references. Still enough of a language geek that I voted for Austen, though :)

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2 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

GUH!  I'm saying this:. Dear sweet baby Jesus, from the bottom of my little grinch heart, I am soooo grateful that my family didn't feel the need to capture my very first puppy love and turn him into my lifelong mate.   I hope it works for the long term and they are very happy forever.  

Oh, Lord, yes.  God only knows what our lives would be like.  I'd probably be uneducated and ignorant with no opinions of my own, living in a tiny house with a controlling, uber-religious husband and a litter of children with another one in the oven.  Wait . . .

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2 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I haven't seen either American Pie or Band Camp, but my kids were in their high school years  (well, tween through college if you want to make it completely inclusive) throughout that general time period. I get the references. Still enough of a language geek that I voted for Austen, though :)

Band Camp is not a movie. 

*Band Camp" is now the lead in to any teen sex joke. I never went to band camp, although I spent my entire high school life in the band. We floutists were the hottest. I dated maybe 3 an do with as publicly asked out by a drummer on a white board when I got to class one day. 

I totally get Band Camp jokes. 

eta b/c my laptop barely let me type that sentence, and my phone was blocked with a double quote box that I couldn't delete. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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5 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

GUH!  I'm saying this:. Dear sweet baby Jesus, from the bottom of my little grinch heart, I am soooo grateful that my family didn't feel the need to capture my very first puppy love and turn him into my lifelong mate.   I hope it works for the long term and they are very happy forever.  

I can't blame my parents, but I married my first puppy love. Marriage lasted 24 years, but my second one is MUCH better. ?

Joy seems way, way too young for marriage to me. I hope it is a loooooong courtship.

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6 hours ago, Love2dance said:

I can't blame my parents, but I married my first puppy love. Marriage lasted 24 years, but my second one is MUCH better. ?

Joy seems way, way too young for marriage to me. I hope it is a loooooong courtship.

I'm sure they will take the "fast track" route.  Because, you know, sex.  Poor Joy.  *sigh*

Edited by SuzyLee
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Joy?  Too young for marriage?? What??  Isn't she of child bearing age and knows how to change a diaper?   Isn't that enough??  Of course I am kidding.  I tell my 13 year old granddaughter who isn't even interested in boys yet, but is getting a cute little figure, that what she needs to do is graduate college and start earning her own money and be able to take care of herself because one doesn't know how the future will unfold, before she gets married. I try to work it into conversations and when we played dolls I would be the doll going to college, or having a career.  Her parents concur so she is getting the message.  Hope it takes!!!

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1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

Joy?  Too young for marriage?? What??  Isn't she of child bearing age and knows how to change a diaper?   Isn't that enough??  Of course I am kidding.  I tell my 13 year old granddaughter who isn't even interested in boys yet, but is getting a cute little figure, that what she needs to do is graduate college and start earning her own money and be able to take care of herself because one doesn't know how the future will unfold, before she gets married. I try to work it into conversations and when we played dolls I would be the doll going to college, or having a career.  Her parents concur so she is getting the message.  Hope it takes!!!

Throw in having her very own apartment and decorating it just how she wants it.  Take her to furniture stores and let her pick out which couch she would have in her new apartment, etc.  My daughter took to that lesson so well she saved up and bought her first house at 23. 

Add to that trips to visit colleges, even if it is just the local ones.  Hang out in the student union, the cafes, and visit a dorm if you can.  Strike up conversations, we always found college students to be very friendly and willing to tell you how much they loved their school.  Find a summer program at a college that she could attend for a week and actually stay in the dorm.  We always enjoyed checking out a college when on vacations.

Jim Bob would never stand for any of this.  Independence in his daughters?  Never!!!

Edited by riverblue22
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One more post explaining the title.  I must be in the age range where the American Pie movies were popular.

In the first movie, after an embarrassing incident, the main character (Jim) could only get a date to the prom with this girl in the band. In the weeks leading up to prom, she constantly told Jim these really boring stories that always began with her saying, "This one time at band camp..." with a weird inflection to her voice.  Near the end of the movie, she surprisingly followed up "This one time at band camp" with a crude comment/story.  At Jim's shocked expression, she said that band camp was basically sex ed. 

Edited by EVS
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On 12/3/2016 at 10:47 PM, Love2dance said:

I can't blame my parents, but I married my first puppy love. Marriage lasted 24 years, but my second one is MUCH better. ?

Joy seems way, way too young for marriage to me. I hope it is a loooooong courtship.

If wishing made it so.

 

On 12/4/2016 at 5:46 AM, SuzyLee said:

I'm sure they will take the "fast track" route.  Because, you know, sex.  Poor Joy.  *sigh*

And rating$$$$'  Don't forget rating$$$$$.

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They'd have to be on a super fast track to get Joy's wedding on next season, but unless they're already engaged, it's going to be tough to get in a Sweeps wedding. It would also be mid-season, disrupting plot continuity, since it sounds like they're starting the season with Jinger's wedding planning. Even if they start the season on January 2, that would be like 6 solid weeks of wedding planning to shoehorn in a Sweeps wedding. 

I lean more the season being:

  • Jinger wedding planning
  • Jessa pregnancy/birth during Sweeps
  • Joy courtship, possible VSE at the end of March (about the time I predicted her wedding even before I gave show plotlines for Sweeps any thought)

I guess it's on Wikipedia, but I can't remember if Smuggar's late September wedding made November Sweeps. They didn't hold Jill's wedding all the way to November Sweeps, did they? By then, the genie was long out of the bottle, but whenever it aired, it is still their highest rated episode. 

I think even the leghumpers will be in Wedding Fatigue if they marry off Joy in March to get it done this season. They can't subject us to an entire season of her wedding, can they? 

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To answer my own question, yes, they will likely save Joy's wedding for May Sweeps. They didn't, in fact hold Jill's wedding for November Sweeps, so there's precedent. That said, Smuggar's wedding aired on a Sunday, missing the Sweeps period by a week, but the show was new then.  Jessa's wedding aired at the end of March, missing Sweeps altogether. 

i still think Joy will be married off by April. So the next season will probably end with the proposal, which I think is still to come, likely during the holidays. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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I think it's coming over the holidays. I don't see anything wrong with the position of her left arm in the picture in which she's holding the spoon. Even if they ARE engaged right now, they can't show it in public until they announce it. But their body language is still looking pretty awkward. 

I'm sorry, but they're the worst pairing yet, and nothing is going to sway my opinion that this was arranged.

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2 hours ago, Kokapetl said:
Austin turned 23. Gooble gobble one of them. The deal is sealed. 
 
In fac est signatum. Fata signati

I love how he is in a tie and joy in a hoodie. LOL. They need to meet in the middle somewhere on the formality of this dinner 

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I do get the feeling that he has maybe gotten interested in her over the years - he does tend to look at her quite fondly - but I'm not really seeing much reciprocity in her eyes. I suppose there must have been communication with both sets of parents at some point before he asked her to court, but whether Austin brought it up to his father who then forwarded it to Jim Bob, who then strongly indicated to Joy that God had laid it on his heart that Austin was the man for her or what, I don't know. 

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I just list a long post. Thanks for nothing, board. 

Bottom line, sometimes a hidden hand is just a hidden hand. They announced JinJer's courtship months after the fact, but the engagement the day after the proposal. I suspect Joy's trajectory will be similar. Even if Joy gets a Christmas proposal,  media between Christmas and New Years is dead, so I expect the announcement 1/3 when everyone goes back to work.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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Eh, not my type at all, except for the curly hair. I prefer my men to have dark hair and some melanin. My husband (part Sicilian) is very similar to Jeremy in coloring, light olive-skinned. Too bad Jeremy's such a putz. I'd hit it if I could duct tape his sanctimonious mouth shut. :D

Edited by Sew Sumi
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4 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Eh, not my type at all, except for the curly hair. I prefer my men to have dark hair and some melanin. My husband (part Sicilian) is very similar to Jeremy in coloring, light olive-skinned. Too bad Jeremy's such a putz. I'd hit it if I could duct tape his sanctimonious mouth shut. :D

He's very average looking, really. I don't find him particularly goofy looking. Heck, I find certain "goofy looking" guys rather attractive -just don't find the conventionally handsome all that appealing in general. And I do like dark hair as well, though I also have a soft spot for red hair and beards. Love red beards...but I digress...He just looks completely bland and unmemorable. 

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Yeah, basically an unremarkable, boring white dude. And I say this as a melanin-challenged, green eyed, boring light brown haired person. No one guesses that I am more Italian and Portuguese than the Northern European countries I outwardly express.

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I agree this is definitely the most "arranged" out of all the arranged Duggar marriages. I think Boob figured he better unload Joy while he still has something to bargain with (i.e., TLC fame and a weekly show). Joy isn't the sharpest tool, so she probably doesn't realize how badly she's being manipulated. Austin seems harmless but it strikes me as another Brandon Keilen/TFDW situation where the parents determined it was time for him to marry and pretty much shoved him in Joy's direction.

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I would add that Boob had some say in the direction Austin's eye "wandered." I am convinced that Austin's father nudged him towards Joy, because this match has great financial potential for his camp. 

ITA that TFDW was nudged towards fellow HQ employee Priscilla Keller to give Mike Keller more visibility in inner Gothard circles. The Wallers got a potential problem off if their hands, and David had a little woman by his side to strengthen his position at HQ. 

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2 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I would add that Boob had some say in the direction Austin's eye "wandered." I am convinced that Austin's father nudged him towards Joy, because this match has great financial potential for his camp. 

ITA that TFDW was nudged towards fellow HQ employee Priscilla Keller to give Mike Keller more visibility in inner Gothard circles. The Wallers got a potential problem off if their hands, and David had a little woman by his side to strengthen his position at HQ. 

In principle, how is this any different from what the aristocracy in England and Europe did? Orthodox Jews more often than not arrange marriages. It is not uncommon for people to marry their own faith or their own kind, even if it means arranging the marriage. The purpose of arranged marriages, particularly among royalty and the wealthy was to strengthen political and/or business or trade ties.

Fundies also often marry among themselves, but I find this deplorable in the respect that they deprive kids of college/schooling/friends in favor of pushing them into an early marriage or to cure "the gay".

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I am aware of the purposes of formal, contracted arranged marriages if the past. While I don't think JB and Pa Forsyth went as far as draw up a formal transfer contract with specifics, they both realize the financial benefits to be gained with this pairing. As Anna was told by Pa Keller that Smuggar was The One That the Lord Has For Her, I'm certain that Boob pretty much told Joy the same thing when he presented Austin's Get To Know You proposal to her.  IOW, I really don't think that she was allowed to say no. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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I had such high hopes for Joy but then I remembered she was the first person in the family to get an even more sub-par education than her older siblings. I think being Jill's buddy didn't help her at all. She needed Jessa or Jana to have any hope for a future but now she'll spend her entire life at that ridiculous camp cleaning and cooking. Sighs.

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I have enjoyed all the other courtships in a "how sweet but, ugh, they're ruining their lives" kind of way. I mean, it's not smart to marry your first puppy love immediately. This courtship is worse, though, because it doesn't seem like puppy love, but a completely arranged marriage. I really hope they prove me wrong when the show comes back. 

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I think folks in general, but especially folks with arrested development, should wait for their frontal lobes to mature before they make such life impacting decisions like who they are going to marry.

With that said, I'm still happily with the guy I married in my early 20s, however I did not marry the first guy that I, uhm, well lets go with, kissed.

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The thing that drives me nuts about these "courtships" versus other kinds of arranged marriages is that ye olde European monarchs knew exactly what they were getting into and it wasn't twu love. The Duggars (and Kellers and Wallers) are doing this bizarre thing where they're selling their kids the Disney princess romance when the reality is more like Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. It doesn't make sense to me because at least arranged marriages have something to build on whereas I'm not sure where these couples are going post "teehee someone likes me! Teehee handholding! Teehee I invented sex!"

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3 hours ago, satrunrose said:

The thing that drives me nuts about these "courtships" versus other kinds of arranged marriages is that ye olde European monarchs knew exactly what they were getting into and it wasn't twu love. The Duggars (and Kellers and Wallers) are doing this bizarre thing where they're selling their kids the Disney princess romance when the reality is more like Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. It doesn't make sense to me because at least arranged marriages have something to build on whereas I'm not sure where these couples are going post "teehee someone likes me! Teehee handholding! Teehee I invented sex!"

1000X this!

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