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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Well, if the TLC crew was already there filming the birth, I don't find it all that surprising that they released a "commercial" for the upcoming VSE. They agreed to have the birth filmed, so filming a commercial for it goes along with the territory.

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Many people have commented here that they find the name "Israel" strange for a Christian family to use, but it didn't surprise me at all when I heard that was the name. Israel David is not only them saying, "Look how holy and devout we are," but more importantly it screams "look what perfect paragons of fundamentalism we are." Christian Fundamentalism has a deep and abiding love of the nation of Israel and believes they can do not wrong since they are "God's chosen people."  Honestly I've known Christian fundamentalists who were more Zionist than any Jew I've ever met.  

 

So, yeah, that name is definitely meant to send a message.  It's a dog whistle to other fundamentalists.

Just google Christian Zionism. Very interesting.

 

ALso, I suspect they will call him David. Derrick Dillard, Dan Dillard…David Dillard...

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but I have noticed that they can't win either way. That's all I'm saying.

I'm certain they set it up so they could have it both ways. Constant in-your-face announcing vs cryptic, 'private' time got just as many blog posts. They WANT everything to be dissected. ALL attention is GOOD attention. At this point, life isn't really happening unless there's a camera pointed at you.

 

The only genuine surprise would've been a private birth, a tasteful announcement in a few days, and five minutes of airtime about the new baby. Derrick saying "we don't need the extra cash, I work for a living" would knock me over with a feather.

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I also think out of all of the adult children, Jill is the one with the most porous boundaries. That doesn't necessarily mean it's always a bad thing - if you needed something, I think she would be most likely to help.

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If there wasn't a commercial and there was just a quick statement, it would be dissected to pieces. People would wonder why we aren't see the new mother, if there were complications, etc. I am not a big fan of the Dillards, but I have noticed that they can't win either way. That's all I'm saying.

 

True, and nothing they do is going to please everyone. They're kind of set up to fail before they even say anything.

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Just google Christian Zionism. Very interesting.

 

ALso, I suspect they will call him David. Derrick Dillard, Dan Dillard…David Dillard...

Mamamax - I've hoped for that exact same thing (that they'll call him David).  We can only hope...

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Baby Dilly birth made Jill realize even if you do everything right, things aren't going to go your way.

 

Well, if she was from a normal family, her mom would be right there patting her shoulder or giving her a hug and saying "Welcome to Motherhood". Its not uncommon for first time parents to have a plan how everything is going to work, the labor and delivery tends to be what makes them realize its not going to go that way.

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I hope to goodness no one even suggests for a moment that if anything "went wrong" it's somehow something Jill did wrong. I'll never get over Michelle "mentioning" how she thought everything was right with the twentieth pregnancy because Jill was monitoring her.

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I hope to goodness no one even suggests for a moment that if anything "went wrong" it's somehow something Jill did wrong. I'll never get over Michelle "mentioning" how she thought everything was right with the twentieth pregnancy because Jill was monitoring her.

God, Jchelle is a bitch. Jill was like 18-19 years old then? It's not often that I feel bad for Jill lately (she's been a bit smug for my liking) but I could tell she was really upset about losing Jubilee, and she was probably blaming herself. Poor thing.

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(edited)

 

Do the Duggars vaccinate? I could see Jill not vaccinating.

I think they do.  They made a big show of it when Josie was little, saying given her early arrival she had resistance issues, and they would do all they could to keep her safe.  

 

Then of course they dragged her off to Ireland, the UK, and Israel before she turned two, despite the doctors' advice to keep her home, which resulted in her having to stay in Israel when she developed some respiratory issues.

 

But I digress...

Edited by 3 is enough
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I do feel sorry for Dill for one reason. She seems like someone who would not be well prepped if the shit ever hit the fan so to speak. She's had too raise her mom's kids but hasn't ever had to deal with a lot of drama. What would She do if Derrick God forbid cheated, divorced her, got sick, couldn't work, or other circumstances? I'm sure Boob would help her but still.

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I do feel sorry for Dill for one reason. She seems like someone who would not be well prepped if the shit ever hit the fan so to speak. She's had too raise her mom's kids but hasn't ever had to deal with a lot of drama. What would She do if Derrick God forbid cheated, divorced her, got sick, couldn't work, or other circumstances? I'm sure Boob would help her but still.

I've often wondered what would happen if one of the prizes Boob picked out for his daughters wound up being a bad husband. (Obviously the same could happen to sons, but they would theoretically still be able to support themselves) If a J-daughter's husband cheated on her, would Mullet tell them it was their fault? If she got divorced, could she live alone or would she have to return (with kids) to the TTH? Could she marry again? Would the same courtship rules apply?

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(edited)

I can't imagine Jim Bob and Michelle welcoming an unhappily-married daughter back into the family home. No matter what, they'd turn her right around and send her back to "work things out", probably after giving her a brief time-out in the prayer closet. If she balks at submitting, they might even bring in the big Gothard guns to make her see the error of her ways. Their reaction would be one-third "Jesus doesn't like divorce!", one-third "What will people (and TLC) think!" and one-third "Daddy's not spending one nickel to support you and Mommy's not taking a chance on getting stuck doing your laundry and watching your kids!".

Edited by Albanyguy
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I know it's different, but my southern baptist fundie cousin-in-law was basically disowned by her family after she got divorced from my cousin.

She initiated the divorce which was a big no-no to her parents. She should have relied on God to make the marriage work, even though my cousin was a 500lb POS who did absolutely nothing but act just on the line of an abusive marriage. If he had filed for divorce, then obviously she wasn't submitting herself to her husband properly.

She ended up raising their kids alone and getting married a few years later to a much, much better man. Her parents refused to attend the ceremony and refuse to acknowledge him.

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Thankfully that isn't all SBC parents.  SBC neighbors of ours have a daughter who is getting divorced and they've been nothing but supportive.  I don't think Jim Bob would take well to one of his daughters being abused or a SIL who cheated on his wife.  They might not approve of divorce, but I don't think they'd necessarily disown a child without considering the circumstances.  I might be giving him too much credit.

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What WOULD they do if a son-in-law cheated?

 

Michelle's stupid advice to her daughters about always being available because you are the only one who can fill that special need made me a little crazy!

 

Really?  If that were the case, men wouldn't cheat on their wives.  How do you account for all the men that do cheat on their wives simply because they are horny?  And there are plenty of women who have no qualms about it.  I was raised to believe that a married man is off limits.  Nowadays, it seems people don't care.  I was livid years ago when Donald Trump's girlfriend made the news because she took her married boyfriend to her family reunion and introduced him as her fiance.  People thought I was ridiculous because I thought it was trashy.  I know plenty of people who cheat, and not because their wives aren't there for them.

 

Wow, I am sure this is way off topic.  Sorry about that.  I am a ranter.

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My mother believes that men cheat because women are bad wives. I know if I got a divorce she'd blame me completely no matter the reason. Of course I'm sure had my dad cheated on her it would have been different but for everyone else that's how it works. She'd also be angry about how it reflected on her. She's the one with the tsk tsk shaking of the head when looking at people who have gotten divorced or their children have. In her mind parents whose child gets a divorce must have messed up somewhere. Of course she thinks the same thing about someone with a gay child so this isn't a woman known for her acceptance of people. 

 

I knew when I was in high school there was something warped about her outlook. A woman was jogging in a park wearing jogging clothes which included a jogging top. She was attacked and raped. According to my mom she deserved it for being dressed that way. 

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(edited)

Why they chose the name Israel:

 

"Before finding out Baby Dilly's gender, Jill and Derick Dillard had two possible names picked out: Israel, which means "God will prevail," and Selah, which means "pause and reflect." When they found out they were expecting a boy, they settled on Israel. What is significant about that name?

 

"Back in September 2011, Jill and her family traveled to Israel as part of their World Tour. It was the trip of a lifetime for the Duggars because it made the Bible come to life.

 

"More than two years later and a few months after Jill and Derick began their courtship, Derick stopped in Israel on his way home from Nepal. Knowing how much Jill had enjoyed her trip to Israel, he purchased her engagement ring there."

 

Source: Duggar Family Blog.  (The one by Lily and Ellie)

Edited by DamWrite
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I'm very pleased to see Jill maintaining a place in her life for her buddy group. They've depended on her for a long time, and there's no one to care much about them at home. Even though she had no choice about "adopting" those three, I very much admire her keeping that commitment. I hope it lasts. I hope Derick supports her in this.

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When my mother divorced my alcoholic father my devout Catholic grandmother blamed her for the whole thing, including my father's drinking. A divorce would be shameful and devastating to a Duggar daughter. I'm not so sure they'd receive unconditional support.

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The Duggar family don't vaccinate all the kids.  Most of them were sick with the chicken pox a few years ago, and the parents were happy because now they wouldn't get shingles, they said.  WRONG.  I of course don't know what the Dillards will do.  Yesterday the California legislature got a visit from Robert Kennedy imploring them NOT to tighten up rules on people excluding their kids from vaccination, saying it would cause a holocaust if all these kids do get vaccines.  Like, go home and shut up, Robert.  We've had epidemics of measles and whooping cough lately, and children dying who were too young to get a vaccine or were too ill to get one.

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I've been married nearly 25 years and have seen a lot of marriages stay together when I thought they shouldn't, and surprise me when they fell apart. One thing I've learned is that no marriage I've ever seen is about one partner being "good" and one being "bad." Marriages are really complicated, and it took me a long time before I realized that just because I thought I understood them from the outside didn't mean I did.

And I've known Fundies who disown and Fundies who rally when it's their actual child. I don't know that anyone can honestly say what they will do until they find themselves in that position. There's often a short term and long term reaction, but if be hard pressed to say which way the Duggars would go. Off hand, I'm betting JB would show Jill more compassion, as he had so much to do with that relationship personally. Michelle would likely come down harder on her daughters.

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(edited)

I've been married nearly 25 years and have seen a lot of marriages stay together when I thought they shouldn't, and surprise me when they fell apart. One thing I've learned is that no marriage I've ever seen is about one partner being "good" and one being "bad." Marriages are really complicated, and it took me a long time before I realized that just because I thought I understood them from the outside didn't mean I did.

And I've known Fundies who disown and Fundies who rally when it's their actual child. I don't know that anyone can honestly say what they will do until they find themselves in that position. There's often a short term and long term reaction, but if be hard pressed to say which way the Duggars would go. Off hand, I'm betting JB would show Jill more compassion, as he had so much to do with that relationship personally. Michelle would likely come down harder on her daughters.

 

Agree on all points. Human relationships of ALL types are massively-complicated. We can only think we know what's going on with other people - we don't know for sure unless they tell us. And we certainly can't be sure about how we'd react in a given situation until we're IN that situation. In addition, one positive comment I feel I can honestly make about Boob - there aren't many - is that I don't think he would ever permanently break off with any of his kids. Although I do believe there could be some scenarios that would take him a LONG time to come to terms with - and find the appropriate spin for as well. A gay child, an inter-racial marriage perhaps?

Edited by Wellfleet
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Many people have commented here that they find the name "Israel" strange for a Christian family to use, but it didn't surprise me at all when I heard that was the name. Israel David is not only them saying, "Look how holy and devout we are," but more importantly it screams "look what perfect paragons of fundamentalism we are." Christian Fundamentalism has a deep and abiding love of the nation of Israel and believes they can do not wrong since they are "God's chosen people."  Honestly I've known Christian fundamentalists who were more Zionist than any Jew I've ever met.  

 

So, yeah, that name is definitely meant to send a message.  It's a dog whistle to other fundamentalists.

It's definitely a thing. There are groups of fundies trying to hold "bar mitzvahs" for their sons, which actually makes me want to scream at them -- but on the other hand I feel a lot safer during my periodic visits to the Bible Belt than I ever used to, so, there's that.

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The Duggar family don't vaccinate all the kids.  Most of them were sick with the chicken pox a few years ago, and the parents were happy because now they wouldn't get shingles, they said.  WRONG.  I of course don't know what the Dillards will do.  Yesterday the California legislature got a visit from Robert Kennedy imploring them NOT to tighten up rules on people excluding their kids from vaccination, saying it would cause a holocaust if all these kids do get vaccines.  Like, go home and shut up, Robert.  We've had epidemics of measles and whooping cough lately, and children dying who were too young to get a vaccine or were too ill to get one.

 

Wait a minute... the Duggars think HAVING the chicken pox eliminates the possibility of shingles?  Isn't it the other way around? 

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It's definitely a thing. There are groups of fundies trying to hold "bar mitzvahs" for their sons, which actually makes me want to scream at them -- but on the other hand I feel a lot safer during my periodic visits to the Bible Belt than I ever used to, so, there's that.

http://www.timesofisrael.com/duggar-familys-got-an-israel-now-too/

 

 

Sarah Palin named her dog Hadassah. Gwyneth Paltrow (that perennially “almost” Jewish actress) and Chris Martin named their son Moses. In recent years, the name Cohen has become a popular first name amongst non-Jews.

 

I'm sure D&j will get extra brownie points with God for being zionist-christians.

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(edited)

I had the chicken pox as a kid. Got shingles shortly after my daughter's passing. It can recur. You do NOT want to get shingles, it is horrible.

 

I had chicken pox on only one side (assuming that is even possible? I never questioned it ~ it is what I was always told) and also had shingles as an adult. For no apparent reason. Shingles IS HORRIBLE.

 

Edited to add: I had mumps on only one side, not chicken pox. I was reliving the hell that was shingles.

Edited by Westiepeach
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Yes if you've had chicken pox, then you have the strong possibility of getting shingles years later.  But they now have a shingles vaccine available for those of us who have had chicken pox.  I noticed a little sign one day at the doctor's office and asked about and demanded the shingles vaccine right away.  I remember having chicken pox and surely don't want shingles.  I've heard it is downright unbearable.  Yes the Duggars were 100% wrong in what they said.  Every kid who got chicken pox now has the possibility of getting shingles years later unless they demand the shingles vaccine, which is highly unlikely, given how they raised and the misinformation they buy without investigating anything.

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(edited)

Yes if you've had chicken pox, then you have the strong possibility of getting shingles years later.  But they now have a shingles vaccine available for those of us who have had chicken pox.  I noticed a little sign one day at the doctor's office and asked about and demanded the shingles vaccine right away.  I remember having chicken pox and surely don't want shingles.  I've heard it is downright unbearable.  Yes the Duggars were 100% wrong in what they said.  Every kid who got chicken pox now has the possibility of getting shingles years later unless they demand the shingles vaccine, which is highly unlikely, given how they raised and the misinformation they buy without investigating anything.

 

That's what I thought. Honest to God, these people are dumber than a box of hair. I have heard that if you had chicken pox, there's a 1 in 3 chance you may get shingles. PS - my brother just had what was apparently a mild bout and did not like it one bit. However, I have to admit I'm very leery of vaccines pushed by the drug companies as heavily as this one has been. My doctor said it was very different from the flu shot, which nearly all medical people strongly encourage. She said she "couldn't actually recommend the shingles vaccine..." which I thought was funny. That it would be my call to get it or not [obviously]. So now I really don't know what to think!

Edited by Wellfleet
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I had the chicken pox as a kid. Got shingles shortly after my daughter's passing. It can recur. You do NOT want to get shingles, it is horrible.

I actually have shingles right now. I started the anti-viral within 24 hours of the blisters appearing. I only figured out what was going on because my mother and sister both had them - my mother so severely what her Dr in the hospital asked us if we wanted to sign a DNR ( we didn't know she even had them until 2 weeks after the blisters appeared. She had them in a place that wasn't visible with your clothes on).  Back on topic, I'm sure they are going to call him Israel, not David. I think they would have said when telling Anna and the camera what his name was going to be. 

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Supposedly the milder the case of the chickenpox, the more likely a person will get shingles.  

 

I've always thought the Duggars selectively vaccinate.  They probably get most of the traditional "baby shots" and not worry so much about the rest.

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 So now I really don't know what to think!

If you were a Duggar, you'd pray about it.  During fellowship with others, you might even pray with others about it.  You would NOT consult a medical professional.  That's for secular people who have no G-d to turn to.

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I noticed a little sign one day at the doctor's office and asked about and demanded the shingles vaccine right away.  I remember having chicken pox and surely don't want shingles.  I've heard it is downright unbearable.

 

The FDA recently lowered the approved age for the Zostavax vaccine to 50 (it used to be 60 and older), but their recommendation is for those 60 and over. While it's not unheard of for someone to get shingled before 60, there's a greater risk the older you are, so that's why the CDC recommends you wait, especially because there's protection past 5 years after receiving the vaccine is still uncertain because it's a newer vaccine (it was patented in 2006). That said, most commercial insurance plans will only pay after you turn 60, and the cash price on the vaccine at my pharmacy is ~$220. More info? If I remember correctly (disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a pharmacist), the difference between shingles and chicken pox is that shingles travels along the nerve pathways, which is why it usually presents on a single side of the body and why the aftereffects are more severe than chicken pox. Shingles can be immensely painful.

 

Shingles is caused by the varicella-zoster virus, which is the same virus that causes chicken pox, so the Duggars are absolutely wrong that by having the chicken pox they're immune to shingles. It's the exact opposite, actually.

 

I hope Jill and Derek vaccinate. I'd imagine they would, baby vaccinations especially. I don't think we heard that Josh and Anna didn't, so chances are they're not opposed to it. That's a start, at least.

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Supposedly the milder the case of the chickenpox, the more likely a person will get shingles.

 

Oh, I am SO fucked. According to my mother, I didn't have chicken pox. I had a single chicken pock. Which pissed her off since she caught it from me (never having had it as a child) and was covered. She swears she had them on her TONGUE. Meanwhile, 2-year-old MichaelaRae had a pock on her belly that didn't even itch that much. Hee!

 

Welcome to the world, little Izzy. I hope you get much more of your mother's love, care and attention than she did from hers. 

 

Also, I am predicting Jessa will announce her pregnancy the day Jill's VSE of Izzy's birth airs. 

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I hope Josh and Anna's children, at least, have been vaccinated. DC has three international airports, and Josh travels extensively and uses the Metro. It's not unusual for someone to come over with measles or something. Not something to be too worried about, but it's a very international area, and at least the basic immunizations aren't something you'd want to take a chance with, in my opinion.

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The Duggars aren't Southern Baptist. I grew up SB, and still am. It's not fundie anymore like it was when I was growing up. Given the cultural acceptance of divorce, the church had to relax it's stance or put up with the tumble weeds blowing thru on Sundays. It's much more relaxed nowadays, and has pretty much taken on the mantra that we'd rather see people who need it IN church than being turned away from the church. I say this in answer to the "what-if" questions above in regard to cheating spouses, etc. Also, in a preemptive comment against some who might say "she's still there, she doesn't realize how rigid they [the SB's] really are: my dad was raised Amish. I have a gazillion Amish relatives (and a gazillion more who've left the Amish). I KNOW rigid when I see it.

There's something really screwed up about sheltering your kids from all things current and then putting their lives on TV for all to scrutinize. I don't get it, never have.

That said, that is one cutie patootie baby. I had a 9.5 baby 35 years ago, and my face was swollen and my voice hoarse for a few days. And oh my gosh, the soreness!!!! The minute I saw that round pretty head (Israel's) I thought c-section. Someone commented way earlier (sorry, can't find it to paste for reference) that they didn't think they would plop that baby on her sore abdomen if she'd had a c-sec. My last baby had trauma during delivery that made a c-sec necessary, and oh yes, they did plop that baby on my tummy. After what I went thru to get him here, and how frightened to death I was during delivery, you'd better bet I was having that child in my arms every second I possibly could!

I'm happy they are all doing so well!

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Supposedly the milder the case of the chickenpox, the more likely a person will get shingles.  

 

I've always thought the Duggars selectively vaccinate.  They probably get most of the traditional "baby shots" and not worry so much about the rest.

I had chicken pox twice. So did my sister. I also had shingles

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Oh, I am SO fucked. According to my mother, I didn't have chicken pox. I had a single chicken pock. Which pissed her off since she caught it from me (never having had it as a child) and was covered. She swears she had them on her TONGUE. Meanwhile, 2-year-old MichaelaRae had a pock on her belly that didn't even itch that much. Hee!

 

I'm pretty much fucked with you. My sister had a single pock for like 2 weeks, my mom thought it was a pimple until her first grade teacher saw her itching one day and sent her to the nurse. A few days later she broke out with a HORRIBLE case of chicken pox, covered head to toe, lasted for like 2 more weeks and they ended up getting infected and turned green. She pretty much infected the whole elementary school and she missed like 3 weeks of school. Meanwhile I had maybe 20 spots, missed a whole 4 days of school, only missed the 4th day since it was a Friday, and my sister was sick both before and after me. I've always lived in fear I would get them again because mine were so mild. I'm 38, it's going nearly impossible for me to get the Shingles vaccine yet. 

 

Given Israel is going to be a seasoned world traveler by a fairly young age, I would have to believe he will have his vaccinations if for no other reason than to travel to certain places. 

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Long-time lurker, first-time poster...actually made an account specifically to say this: all the first letters of the kids names spell Jim, thanks to Jill (also, apologies if this is the wrong thread). The J-monsters, Anna's "M"s, and now lil' Izzy.

Now we need some Bs and Os to complete the J-Bob Legacy.

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(edited)
Please Jill and Derrick. If you're gonna take your newborn son to this festival, get him vaccinated.

 

Please Jill and Derek, if you take Izzy to the Casa Tater Tot, or the Stink Bus, or within 50 feet of the Howlers or Josie, get him vaccinated.

 

 

 

"I promised a picture of my hair without the wig so here it is! What do you think @derickdillard and I are looking at?"

https://igcdn-photos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/11085162_1385671108424101_1586674117_n.jpg

 

Awww. The smile on Cathy's face melts my cold, black heart. No snark on Grandma Cathy from me! 

Edited by ChicksDigScars
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(edited)

Oh, I am SO fucked. According to my mother, I didn't have chicken pox. I had a single chicken pock. Which pissed her off since she caught it from me (never having had it as a child) and was covered. She swears she had them on her TONGUE. Meanwhile, 2-year-old MichaelaRae had a pock on her belly that didn't even itch that much. Hee!

 

Welcome to the world, little Izzy. I hope you get much more of your mother's love, care and attention than she did from hers. 

 

Also, I am predicting Jessa will announce her pregnancy the day Jill's VSE of Izzy's birth airs. 

 

I commiserate with your mom. At age 6, I had chicken pox everywhere, including inside my mouth - eewww gross - though I don't remember feeling awfully sick. Just itchy and miserable. For years my Mom said how I always got things first, and got them worst - and brought whatever home to my 5 little brothers and sisters. Between kindergarten and second grade, we had chicken pox, measles, scarlet fever and mono at our house [only I got mono]. Now I'm hoping going through all that means I'm walking around with some serious damn immunities... LOL.

Edited by Wellfleet
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