Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[emmawoodhouse]

1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

I'm sorry to hear that. Did Jill give any indication as to how far along she was? 

No. They also didn't disclose when it happened.

[auntieminem]

Can't really tell when but I was assuming it was very recent.

She does say it was too soon to know the gender. 

ETA: That is a link to their blog in case you don't want to click on it.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 11, 2021 by auntieminem

[emmawoodhouse]

Sounds like a very early loss. 

[iwantcookies]

https://people.com/tv/jill-duggar-reveals-she-suffered-miscarriage-third-child/

[jacourt]

So all four married Duggar daughters  have had miscarriages. 

[GeeGolly]

28 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Sounds like a very early loss. 

In the video, Jill points to a gestation picture, which looks to be about 4 weeks, so I'm guessing she miscarried sometime in the first month.

[Snow Fairy]

It seemed like possibly biochemical pregnancy or very very early loss. I got that vibe.

The test line in the video wasn't that dark 

I don't get why they told the boys so soon.

 

Early pregnancy loss is actually not that uncommon.

Nevertheless I feel bad for them, I also had one loss

 

 

Edited October 11, 2021 by Snow Fairy

[Ljohnson1987]

Why did they announce so soon? Also... I guess this puts the rumor that Jill had a hysterectomy after Sam's birth to rest.

[GeeGolly]

Back in the day, you had to be at least six weeks along to even do a pregnancy test. Many waited two full months - until after missing their second period, before they tested. So I'm guessing many miscarriages went unnoticed. Personally, I think I'd rather not know.

[emmawoodhouse]

After they went off b/c and were obviously trying for a baby, Jill was probably testing even before a missed period. 

[Madtown]

40 minutes ago, Snow Fairy said:

I don't get why they told the boys so soon.

 

 

 

I didn’t understand this either. There was no reason to tell the boys or anyone else, that soon. I do feel bad for them though. 
So If they are trying, I guess there will be no type of job or volunteering when Sam goes to school. 
Nothing wrong with them having another baby, but they just seemed content being a family of 4. 

[hathorlive]

None of us knows what Derick did or didn't do until he tells the Internets.  I remember when he announced he was going to law school, most people here said he would never finish, he would drop out after the first year, blah blah blah.  None of us knows what kind of student he was or how well he mastered the various areas of law.  I recall threads saying he'd bash heads with "female" professors, or gay professors, whatever.  Many many people fail the Bar on the their first attempt.  If Derrick was over confident, didn't study, doesn't care whatever, he will either fix it or fail again.  None of us know what is going on.

[floridamom]

She really should have said about how many weeks she was. I think this was all rushed by Jill and Derick. No need to tell the other kids about this until you are very sure "it's a go". This, of course, is just my opinion.

[Gemma Violet]

2 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Nothing wrong with them having another baby, but they just seemed content being a family of 4. 

Yeah, I was kind of thinking that they'd stick with a total of two kids, but they apparently wanted another.  Maybe they specifically wanted to try for a girl, but wow, they could have another 3-4 boys before having a girl.

[Rootbeer]

1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

No. They also didn't disclose when it happened.

On her post, she does have October 2021 next to the name, so I think it was in the past week and a half; well after the bar exam and results. She also said she miscarried just a couple of days after finding out she was pregnant, so very early.

[Cinnabon]

12 minutes ago, Rootbeer said:

On her post, she does have October 2021 next to the name, so I think it was in the past week and a half; well after the bar exam and results. She also said she miscarried just a couple of days after finding out she was pregnant, so very early.

How many weeks until the sex of the fetus can be determined?

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Just now, Cinnabon said:

How many weeks until the sex of the fetus can be determined?

I believe it’s 20 weeks 

[BetyBee]

They announced too early as far as telling the boys, imo. For the general public, maybe they just wanted to share because it's a common loss experience and it helps them to talk about it. It sounds like they were all very excited about the pregnancy, so I presume they will try again. I hope they have a successful pregnancy when they do.  

[Snow Fairy]

17 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

How many weeks until the sex of the fetus can be determined?

It depends. Mostly after 14-15 weeks 

My doctor told my baby was a boy in week 12, said he was 90% sure. And boy it was

Edited October 11, 2021 by Snow Fairy
Typos

[Spazamanaz]

Taken from an online article...

A study published online in the Journal of the American Medical Association has shown that a simple blood test—using maternal blood, not fetal blood drawn through an amniocentesis or other invasive procedure—can determine with 95 percent accuracy the sex of a fetus at 7 weeks of gestation. Other methods, the most common being ultrasound, are not considered reliable until around the 20-week mark.

[SnapHappy]

Well, that certainly takes people's minds off Derps blown Bar exam and Sex Pest's upcoming "come to Jesus" meeting with the Federal Court.   

 

[Westiepeach]

See, that’s something I feel should be reserved for the immediate family. We do not need to know that information. I am very sorry for her family, but the public did not need to know about her miscarriage. YMMV. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Rootbeer]

2 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

How many weeks until the sex of the fetus can be determined?

It depends.  On ultrasound, the earliest is around 15 weeks, although 18-20 is more accurate.  Technically, if you want to do chromosomal testing on the tissue that is passed, you can determine the sex at any time.  Nowadays, they can even test embryos for gender prior to performing in vitro fertilization.

In the case of a miscarriage, the fetus would need to be intact and not deteriorated too much, you could probably look at the fetus and assess fetal sex at around 15-16 weeks.  Prior to that, the genital area looks the same on either gender.

Nowadays, a free fetal DNA test can be done on mom's blood around 10 weeks which will give full chromosomal info including the sex chromosomes.  This is what most moms over 35 are doing these days instead of an amnio.  No risk of miscarriage, results come in quickly at an earlier point in the pregnancy.

It does seem like fundies have a great need to commemorate pregnancy losses in a way that most of us don't which is why they announce so early, I suppose.  No matter what happens, there will be a name attached to the fetus and there will be some sort of ongoing remembrance of it ala JRod's wall of SEVERE miscarriages in the barndo.  I guess that's why they tell their kids when the stick turns blue; the kid is going to hear about it over and over again, no matter what happens.

Edited October 12, 2021 by Rootbeer

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, Westiepeach said:

See, that’s something I feel should be reserved for the immediate family. We do not need to know that information. I am very sorry for her family, but the public did not need to know about her miscarriage. YMMV. 🤷🏼‍♀️

If she wants to tell the world about her miscarriage, that's her choice. If she wants to not tell the world about her miscarriage, that's also her choice. Period. 

[hathorlive]

3 minutes ago, Heathen said:

If she wants to tell the world about her miscarriage, that's her choice. If she wants to not tell the world about her miscarriage, that's also her choice. Period. 

I think it's the view that no one needs to know about miscarriages that makes many women feel so alone after they have one.  No one talks about it.  There's no shared grief of the loss for them to take part in.  I think parents have the right to discuss it or not to discuss it.  And by sharing it, she's letting other women know they aren't alone.  Says the woman who dislikes kids and thinks babies are gross. 

[Absolom]

6 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

No one talks about it.  There's no shared grief of the loss for them to take part in.  I think parents have the right to discuss it or not to discuss it. 

People say that all the time these days and yet we hear about miscarriages all the time.  I really don't care if the Duggars or anyone talks about it, but it truly is not a taboo subject and usually not a week goes by that a miscarriage isn't announced in the entertainment news.  It truly is up to the parents to discuss or not and some  people want to let people know and others feel it's personal and private.  I do think it's a burden that shouldn't be put on children to grieve the miscarriages though.  

[mythoughtis]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Back in the day, you had to be at least six weeks along to even do a pregnancy test. Many waited two full months - until after missing their second period, before they tested. So I'm guessing many miscarriages went unnoticed. Personally, I think I'd rather not know.

I agree with you.  These days they are advertising pregnancy tests that you can take before your period is even expected.  So people are now mourning miscarriages that occur at the normal period time or a few days later.  Otherwise there is no explanation for what seems to  be an huge increase in miscarriages. 

 

[hathorlive]

18 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

I agree with you.  These days they are advertising pregnancy tests that you can take before your period is even expected.  So people are now mourning miscarriages that occur at the normal period time or a few days later.  Otherwise there is no explanation for what seems to  be an huge increase in miscarriages. 

 

edited because I don't want to get banned.  I agree that Jill probably jumped the gun by telling the kids.  They have no clue what this means and there's a reason you wait until the second trimester to announce.

Edited October 12, 2021 by hathorlive

[emmawoodhouse]

23 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

I agree with you.  These days they are advertising pregnancy tests that you can take before your period is even expected.  So people are now mourning miscarriages that occur at the normal period time or a few days later.  Otherwise there is no explanation for what seems to  be an huge increase in miscarriages. 

 

This is what I think happened to Jill.

[Saylii]

It depends on Jill’s cycle.  If it’s short, she may have missed her period, got a positive test, and still miscarried in the window for a chemical pregnancy.

It’s similar to what happened to me back in May - my cycles are 23 days like clockwork, always have been.  I suspected about 3 days before I was pregnant, but waited to test until day 23.  Positive both on the + and the digital that says pregnant/not pregnant (needs higher HCG so it wasn’t a false positive or evaporation line).  Day 30 I miscarried.  So for roughly a week and a half I believed, and acted, like I was pregnant.  No big announcements were made outside of a few close friends and family members (no one I regret knowing) and nothing was purchased, but it still stings just like it would if I miscarried a little later in the first trimester.

[irisheyes]

I’m sorry they lost this pregnancy, no matter how early it was. I think Jill seems to be in a much better place emotionally to have another baby. I hope that she has a successful pregnancy eventually. 

[Tdoc72]

5 hours ago, floridamom said:

She really should have said about how many weeks she was. I think this was all rushed by Jill and Derick. No need to tell the other kids about this until you are very sure "it's a go". This, of course, is just my opinion.

I agree about the kids, only because some kids are a non-stop fountain of questions.  I would imagine trying to cope with your loss and then being asked a lot of questions that are out of the mouth of babes but it probably hurts. I personally believe until waiting for the 1st trimester, although I told just my parents about my 2nd after a few weeks.  I was put on light duty b/c I might be miscarrying (I didn’t!) and needed a little extra help.  

[Temperance]

I'm not surprised Jill wants another baby. She always wanted a girl and she was raised that 2 kids are nothing. 
I'm a little disappointed they didn't at least wait until Derick became lawyer. I know they could be more financially set then we know, but it doesn't seem like their income is secure. It reminds me of the rest of the Duggars. Maybe we changed the title of this thread from Counting On Donations too soon.

8 hours ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

Why did they announce so soon? Also... I guess this puts the rumor that Jill had a hysterectomy after Sam's birth to rest.

That was never anything but a crazy internet rumor.

[floridamom]

Derick has not yet passed the Bar. He has not yet secured employment. Why would they have chosen to have another baby right now? I would think they would have waited a bit longer after he passed the Bar and was employed as a lawyer before "trying" for #3. Why add  stress to an already stressful situation? This emotional roller coaster could have been avoided.

[Ohiopirate02]

3 hours ago, floridamom said:

Derick has not yet passed the Bar. He has not yet secured employment. Why would they have chosen to have another baby right now? I would think they would have waited a bit longer after he passed the Bar and was employed as a lawyer before "trying" for #3. Why add  stress to an already stressful situation? This emotional roller coaster could have been avoided.

I doubt they were actively trying to have baby #3.  When you rely on non-hormonal methods of birth control, all it takes is one night of not being careful enough just ask my parents.  

[Rootbeer]

4 hours ago, floridamom said:

Derick has not yet passed the Bar. He has not yet secured employment. Why would they have chosen to have another baby right now? I would think they would have waited a bit longer after he passed the Bar and was employed as a lawyer before "trying" for #3. Why add  stress to an already stressful situation? This emotional roller coaster could have been avoided.

It seems to me that Derick was perhaps overconfident in his ability to pass the test, so, why not get pregnant the minute he finished school since the bar exam was just a formality and he may well have had a job waiting for him?  A job which has now evaporated since he didn't pass.  Presuming this was a very early pregnancy loss, the baby wouldn't have been due until June; plenty of time to get settled into the new job and get a steady paycheck coming in.  

I really think the loss is just more evidence that Derick underestimated the toughness of the bar exam and never thought he'd be one of the many who don't pass the first time around.

[lascuba]

 

14 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I agree with you.  These days they are advertising pregnancy tests that you can take before your period is even expected.  So people are now mourning miscarriages that occur at the normal period time or a few days later.  Otherwise there is no explanation for what seems to  be an huge increase in miscarriages. 

 

Exactly. What used to be a later period is now a miscarriage.

[xwordfanatik]

4 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I doubt they were actively trying to have baby #3.  When you rely on non-hormonal methods of birth control, all it takes is one night of not being careful enough just ask my parents.  

I think the same.  The condom probably broke.  It happens.

[cmr2014]

8 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I doubt they were actively trying to have baby #3.  When you rely on non-hormonal methods of birth control, all it takes is one night of not being careful enough just ask my parents.  

I hope this is the case.

I know that it's pointless, but I really wish they would all stop having kids. Jill and Derick finally seem to be in a good place. Jill seems to be able to manage her two boys -- but just barely. A baby in that household would be pandemonium.

Aside from the obvious, Josh and Anna have more than enough children. I don't think Josh wanted any, but he did say something once about being okay with three, and I think that would have been more than enough (knowing what we know now, zero would have been a better number).

JD and Abbie have a cute little girl and seem genuinely happy together. Abbie's morning sickness issues aren't trivial and there's no reason for her to put herself through that because JB wants x number of grandchildren.

Jessa and Ben have more children already than they can fit into that house, and no income. It might be a good idea to just stop now.

Jinger and Jeremy don't need any more kids. Jeremy can't handle the spotlight being taken off him. Having a lot of kids could affect Jinger's figure, and I don't think that Jeremy would be okay with that AT ALL. And, of course, Jeremy has no visible means of support.

Joe and Kendra seem happy, but they're so young. Kendra is going to wake up one day with a house stuffed with kids and a LOT less energy than she has now, and it's going to be miserable for everyone involved.

Josiah and Lauren don't seem to like each other all that much, and there's no reason to have multiple kids when the marriage eventually ends.

Joy and Austin seem fine. They seem to manage the two kids okay, and Austin appears capable of supporting the family. They have two kids, though, and there's nothing about them that suggests they want a lot of kids or would be able to handle them other than some belief that that's what Jesus wants.

[hathorlive]

2 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I know that it's pointless, but I really wish they would all stop having kids. Jill and Derick finally seem to be in a good place. Jill seems to be able to manage her two boys -- but just barely. A baby in that household would be pandemonium.

I think one more would be fine.  Jill now knows the joy of public education, which means that soon she'll have free time for an infant.  She doesn't have to run school, take care of 3 kids under the age of 5 and try to be a wife at the same time.  She's also a lot calmer than she used to be.  3 is a good number for a family. If she wants more.  

[lulu69]

11 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I doubt they were actively trying to have baby #3.  When you rely on non-hormonal methods of birth control, all it takes is one night of not being careful enough just ask my parents.  

Have to wonder if Jill's 'Yay, Derrick is graduating law school!' was really 'Yay, we can start trying for another baby bc Dreck said no more kids until he's done with law school and now he's done!'. Also, I can absolutely see Dreck under estimating the difficulty of the bar and just assuming he would pass.

As far as how far along Jill was, IIRC she said she miscarried a couple of days after she tested positive. Knowing the Duggars, Jill probably tested early & often, meaning she was most likely barely 4 weeks pregnant, if that. Certainly, people are entitled to grieve however they choose but IMHO naming a 4 week clump of cells is a bit much. I believe even Lauren & Josiah were further along when naming Asa.

[Lady Jane]

 

15 hours ago, floridamom said:

Derick has not yet passed the Bar. He has not yet secured employment. Why would they have chosen to have another baby right now? I would think they would have waited a bit longer after he passed the Bar and was employed as a lawyer before "trying" for #3. Why add  stress to an already stressful situation? This emotional roller coaster could have been avoided.

Do we know that Derick doesn't have a job? (Aside from the reasonable assumption none of these numptys have a job.) Most law firms  extend offers to their summer associates after 2L, and will allow one bar failure before firing you. (There are a million and five reasons no reputable law firm would hire Derick, but that is how it would go for a typical law student/first year lawyer.)

[EmeraldGirl]

Jill is a Duggar. She would have told the children either way. Hard to hide if mom is firmly planted over the toilet, but they were very excited if it was earlier than that. I will mourn for her because she really wanted this and put thought into family planning. I like Jill. And I don’t think her changes are mainly cosmetic. Birth control, alcohol, pants are all signs are breaking from patriarchy. It’s a step. I have more conservative Catholic relatives.  

[andromeda331]

I'm sorry about the miscarriage. That really stinks.

[Snow Fairy]

Even if they weren't 100% sure if they wanted to have another kid, I guess Jill will want a new pregnancy now after that loss. Just a woman thing, I have a feeling.

She maybe saw herself as a mom of 3, was happy, and now that's taken away. So she would want to go for it now

[YupItsMe]

16 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

I'm sorry about the miscarriage. That really stinks.

Me too, but I just know JB & M are using this as proof that they were right in believing that birth control and the “bad choices” that Jill has made cause miscarriages.

Edited October 13, 2021 by YupItsMe
Spelling

[Ohiopirate02]

17 minutes ago, YupItsMe said:

Me too, but I just know JB & M are using this as proof that they were right in believing that birth control and the “bad choices” that Jill has made cause miscarriages.

I really don't see how JB and M could pull that one off.  Jill is the latest Duggar girl or Duggar DIL to have a miscarriage, not the only one.  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

[GeeGolly]

55 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I really don't see how JB and M could pull that one off.  Jill is the latest Duggar girl or Duggar DIL to have a miscarriage, not the only one.  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

And Michelle lost Jubilee.

[JoanArc]

I'm sorry for her loss, but I personally hate the naming. it really shoots the 'it was a person' argument in the foot, IMO.

[SnapHappy]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

At this point, only Kendra and Abbie have not broadcast to the entire world on social media that they suffered a loss.