Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[floridamom]

Jill's previous birth experiences might have something to do with being able to have more children easily. Maybe she's high risk? We don't know and they have never said what actually happened there with Sam.

[GeeGolly]

Unless Jill had some type of surgery post delivery, like removing an ovary or something, I don't think difficult deliveries have anything to do with getting pregnant or remaining pregnant, in subsequent pregnancies. 

[zoomama]

On 10/20/2021 at 8:29 AM, Cinnabon said:

They’re naming these miscarriages, but how can they know what sex the child would’ve been? Did they give it a neutral name?

i actually had a miscarriage at about 10 weeks along and had a d/c during christmas season because i didnt pass it. i named that baby. i did  it for me because it was a real baby in my life. i grieved for a long while.  i still think of that loss and remember the name i chose. i believe that i will meet that baby in heaven some day.  JMHO

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, zoomama said:

i actually had a miscarriage at about 10 weeks along and had a d/c during christmas season because i didnt pass it. i named that baby. i did  it for me because it was a real baby in my life. i grieved for a long while.  i still think of that loss and remember the name i chose. i believe that i will meet that baby in heaven some day.  JMHO

That is what you need and that is what you should do.  I'm guessing you didn't blast it all over the inter webs looking for clicks.  I do things to remember Sweet Son that some might question, but, works for me and it is between me (and me)

[Westiepeach]

3 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

That is what you need and that is what you should do.  I'm guessing you didn't blast it all over the inter webs looking for clicks.  I do things to remember Sweet Son that some might question, but, works for me and it is between me (and me)

This is what I am thinking in my head but am not articulate enough to say. I completely respect grieving however you need to. It is healthy, it is needed… BUT… keep it to your own private world. There is no need to blast it all over the internet. We, as complete strangers, do not need to know about Jill’s and Lauren’s loss. It is none of our business, and it is sick to use that just for clicks, IMHO. I think it just cheapens the experience.

[Suzn]

38 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

This is what I am thinking in my head but am not articulate enough to say. I completely respect grieving however you need to. It is healthy, it is needed… BUT… keep it to your own private world. There is no need to blast it all over the internet. We, as complete strangers, do not need to know about Jill’s and Lauren’s loss. It is none of our business, and it is sick to use that just for clicks, IMHO. I think it just cheapens the experience.

This is exactly it.  I don't think anyone here has criticized grieving, just making it a public event and involving her boys in the performance.  Those kids don't need to grieve the loss of a sibling that has not been born.

[Madtown]

Jill got another gift from a friend

[Jeeves]

4 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Jill got another gift from a friend

 

Oh, barf. 🤮 FFS, her sister Joy had a stillborn fairly late-term baby and didn't carry on like that on social media. Jill needs to mourn her loss in private now.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Jeeves

[Rootbeer]

On 10/22/2021 at 5:56 PM, floridamom said:

If Jill really did conceive, do any of you think that this loss was due to two emergency deliveries? Her insides were almost ripped to shreds with Israel and for some still mysterious reason, Sam was in the NICU for weeks.

No, not at all. We have no evidence that Jill's insides were 'almost ripped to shreds' with Israel.  A lot of women have cesareans in similar circumstances and it doesn't affect their future fertility.  Same with the cesarean for Sam.  I cannot think of any problem that would put a baby in the ICU and also result in the mother being at risk of miscarrying in the future.

[Heathen]

Jill can mourn her miscarriage how and when she chooses. She's spent most of her life in the spotlight, to some extent. Being public with life events is what she knows, so it's normal for her to share her miscarriage as well. Shaming her for sharing is not cool. 

Joy's miscarriage was at about twenty weeks, I believe. Not too long ago, she would have been told to not talk about it, just like people are saying to Jill. 

[Absolom]

Talking about it is one thing.  Looking like attention whoring is another in my mind.  Jill rather looks like she's tipped over to me.  Expecting gifts and fawning attention may not be the healthiest way to cope with a miscarriage.  Studies have shown that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with grief rather than some of society's prevailing views.  

[lascuba]

11 hours ago, Heathen said:

Jill can mourn her miscarriage how and when she chooses. She's spent most of her life in the spotlight, to some extent. Being public with life events is what she knows, so it's normal for her to share her miscarriage as well. Shaming her for sharing is not cool. 

Joy's miscarriage was at about twenty weeks, I believe. Not too long ago, she would have been told to not talk about it, just like people are saying to Jill. 

There's is a vast difference between 20 weeks (and Joy's stillbirth was much later than that) and 4 weeks. No one is going to fault someone that far along for talking about it. And speaking of Joy, she didn't make her--by any objective measure--much more significant loss into an extended social media pity party.

Jill can absolutely do what she wants, and the rest of us can think whatever we want about what she does. As far as I know, nobody has told her directly to not talk about.

All the Duggar kids have grown up being public, so by that token, no one should ever criticize any of them for sharing anything on social media.

8 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Talking about it is one thing.  Looking like attention whoring is another in my mind.  Jill rather looks like she's tipped over to me.  Expecting gifts and fawning attention may not be the healthiest way to cope with a miscarriage.  Studies have shown that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with grief rather than some of society's prevailing views.  

Maybe there's something about the name Jill...

[lascuba]

15 hours ago, Rootbeer said:

No, not at all. We have no evidence that Jill's insides were 'almost ripped to shreds' with Israel.  A lot of women have cesareans in similar circumstances and it doesn't affect their future fertility.  Same with the cesarean for Sam.  I cannot think of any problem that would put a baby in the ICU and also result in the mother being at risk of miscarrying in the future.

Yeah, I don't think there's any reason to believe that Jill has any problems conceiving and staying pregnant, generally. She conceived Israel 32 seconds into her honeymoon. She made it clear after having Israel that she really wanted a vaginal delivery with her next one, which would explain the spacing between Israel and Sam--it's recommended to wait at least a year before conceiving after a c-section. And she's admitted to using birth control after Sam.

[Suzn]

46 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Talking about it is one thing.  Looking like attention whoring is another in my mind.  Jill rather looks like she's tipped over to me.  Expecting gifts and fawning attention may not be the healthiest way to cope with a miscarriage.  Studies have shown that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with grief rather than some of society's prevailing views.  

 

38 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Jill can absolutely do what she wants, and the rest of us can think whatever we want about what she does. As far as I know, nobody has told her directly to not talk about.

All the Duggar kids have grown up being public, so by that token, no one should ever criticize any of them for sharing anything on social media.

Jill doesn't get a pass because she has lived her life as a public performance.  At this point it is a choice and one to me that looks like a desire for constant attention and adulation.  No one is saying she can't grieve, just that she does everything for maximum attention and she also exploits her boys for attention.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Suzn

[Absolom]

I thought of something else, Jill's is modeling dealing with loss and grief for her sons.  Along with telling the boys far too early, she's now dragging them through her process.  They should have been allowed to get on with their lives without the burden.

[Heathen]

2 hours ago, Absolom said:

Talking about it is one thing.  Looking like attention whoring is another in my mind.  Jill rather looks like she's tipped over to me.  Expecting gifts and fawning attention may not be the healthiest way to cope with a miscarriage.  Studies have shown that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with grief rather than some of society's prevailing views.  

Attention-whoring to you is normal to someone else. Everybody gets to deal with their grief how they choose and if others don't like it, they can scroll past. 

[Absolom]

Actually as long as Jill makes it public and we have a forum discussing her, I feel absolutely fine discussing her methods.  I wouldn't feel fine taking her to task in person, but she publishes publicly and we discuss here and she is free to read here or not.  Scientifically the current societally accepted argument that however a person wishes to do x, y, or z is fine, is not true.  Research has shown that there are ways to handle situations like grief that achieve better results than others.   All paths are not equal in end result.  Especially since Jill is choosing to drag two children along with her for the ride, personally I think it's fine to discuss how this may impact them in the future and whether what she's doing is appropriate.  

[Suzn]

21 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Actually as long as Jill makes it public and we have a forum discussing her, I feel absolutely fine discussing her methods.  I wouldn't feel fine taking her to task in person, but she publishes publicly and we discuss here and she is free to read here or not.  Scientifically the current societally accepted argument that however a person wishes to do x, y, or z is fine, is not true.  Research has shown that there are ways to handle situations like grief that achieve better results than others.   All paths are not equal in end result.  Especially since Jill is choosing to drag two children along with her for the ride, personally I think it's fine to discuss how this may impact them in the future and whether what she's doing is appropriate.  

Exactly!  The boys are not choosing to be thrust into this situation.

[Madtown]

Book Character Day at school. Meanwhile, Spugeon is sitting at a desk in the living room with his siblings all over him. 

 

Edited October 29, 2021 by Madtown

[Valerie]

Damnit, that's cute.

[GeeGolly]

Please don't tell me Jill is sending Izzy to school with a toy gun. Surely they have rules about that.

[BitterApple]

I enlarged the pic and it looks like the holster is empty.

[Liddy52]

4 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Please don't tell me Jill is sending Izzy to school with a toy gun. Surely they have rules about that.

Perhaps the holster is empty. If not,  it will be shortly after he arrives at school. Oops, posted at the same time as BitterApple. 

Edited October 29, 2021 by Liddy52

[BigBingerBro]

[Portia]

Excuse me, it was book character day and they sent their child as Pistol Fucking Pete? Do these people ever read actual children's literature? Read your child a book. Also, for God's sake, give Pistol Pete a rest for two fucking seconds. 

[emmawoodhouse]

4 minutes ago, Portia said:

Excuse me, it was book character day and they sent their child as Pistol Fucking Pete? Do these people ever read actual children's literature? Read your child a book. Also, for God's sake, give Pistol Pete a rest for two fucking seconds. 

Well, in their defense, some OSU alum DID write a children's book. Probably a former Pistol Pete. 🙄

[Portia]

Yes, I could see the book in the photo. Its almost certainly garbage, and I maintain that Pistol Pete is not a "book character." He's a mascot that someone wrote a book about to make a quick buck. I just think that violates the spirit of event. 

[emmawoodhouse]

Then the teacher should have specified that characters should only come from a specified canon of children's lit. 

I do agree that the Pistol Pete book is a trashy moneygrab.

[Girl in a Cardigan]

1 hour ago, Portia said:

Excuse me, it was book character day and they sent their child as Pistol Fucking Pete? Do these people ever read actual children's literature? Read your child a book. Also, for God's sake, give Pistol Pete a rest for two fucking seconds. 

Thank you! This was my reaction as well! All the characters in all of children’s literature and they went with the mascot Daddy dressed up as? Le sigh. 
 

I knew we shouldn’t get excited about Jill’s trips to the library with the boys pre-pandemic. I feel like if Izzie was actually reading books, he’s have a fav character that he couldn’t not be. Or maybe he’s not allowed to express an opinion in his house just like all the other grandkids. 😞

[galaxygirl76]

There's a good chance the kid actually likes Pistol Pete despite the excuse of it being a book character is flimsy at best. We're in a college town and lots of kids choose to dress up as an Iowa player for Halloween despite all the options out there *shrugs*

Edited October 30, 2021 by galaxygirl76

[Absolom]

It was dress up for the kids to avoid the question of Halloween costumes this week.  That was a bit of a creative way to handle it, but if not for the zealots like the Duggars, the kids could do as most do and wear all or part of their costume if they choose.  Israel would probably have gone as Pistol Pete either way given Derick's obsession.  

Edited October 30, 2021 by Absolom

[BigBingerBro]

I would note be surprised if Deertick has already calculated the exact year Isreal will be eligible to tryout to be Pistol Pete.   At least he'll have the opportunity to go to university.  I hope it's what he wants.

[crazy8s]

I thought Izzy's costume was cute and he did have an actual book.  He has seen Pistol Pete, his dad and grandfather were Pistol Pete, so Izzy would have a story to share about why he chose that character.

We know izzy has books. jill seems to read them Hardy Boys and Boxcar Children - but how boring for a 1st grade costume. not every kid wants to be Thing 1 or 2, cat in the hat etc.

My 1st grade grandboy went for halloween/book character day as a Pokemon Trainer. Jeans, red polo and an invented backpack made from a small roller suitcase from Salvation Army, to match the pic in the Pokemon comic book he took for his book. Grandboy reads lots of books and that was his pick. Watching his school costume parade yesterday, I would say more than half had very random outfits and all manner of books they held up for the pics, Most were certainly not in any top 100 children's books list. But they all seemed proud and happy. From the pics, Izzy seemed proud and happy as well

[Gemma Violet]

23 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

From the pics, Izzy seemed proud and happy as well

Yeah.  Heck, I'm always thrilled when the Duggar grandkids get to read stuff other than bible verses, etc.  A Pistol Pete book is fine.  It probably means a lot to Izzy to dress up as Pistol Pete since he's aware (and probably very proud) of the fact his dad was Pistol Pete.  As was mentioned upthread, he's being exposed to other things like the Hardy Boys, etc.  Just the fact that Izzy goes to a public school thrills me.  I only wish the other grandkids had that opportunity.  I'll give Jill/Derick a pass on this.

[Lady Whistleup]

Aww I think Izzy looks cute. 

[Guest]

Pistol Pete could also be an easy one to dress up with if they didn’t have extra money or craftiness. I’m not crafty, so when my kids’ school doesn’t give enough notice for me to Amazon a costume for themed dress up days, things get rough over here. I personally think it’s a cute costume even if the book tie in is sketchy.

[graybrown bird]

Wonder if Izzy will be Pistol Pete every year? One year is perhaps okay despite the sketchiness of PP as a "book character" but next year I hope Izzy branches out, reflecting growing exposure to more imaginative books.

[CandyCaneTree]

I know that I am in the minority but I hope that her boys get great schooling and grades to one day get a scholarship and become Pistol Pete.

[Ohiopirate02]

I see nothing wrong with Izzy being Pistol Pete during book character day.  This really is a cheat day so the kids can dress in just about any costume as long as he/she/they have a corresponding book.  Many of his classmates can dress (and probably did) as Disney Princesses or Marvel characters and just bring one of the many Disney books for young readers to justify the costume.  

[GeeGolly]

I can't find it any where else. Maybe they should put that book on a high shelf.

 

[DXD526]

Maybe the kiddies will be athletically inclined. If either of the kids becomes Pistol Pete, I assume that means they can't play on a team. So I hope Deertick doesn't pressure them to put on the spurs if they'd rather play a sport. 

Of course, considering these cult members are going to instill their awful beliefs in their kids, worrying about sports is probably a waste of time...

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m just glad it’s not another post about Jill’s late period. 

[Westiepeach]

26 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I can't find it any where else. Maybe they should put that book on a high shelf.

 

LOL! Sheesh, for almost $900, they couldn’t throw in the $4 shipping???

[Lady Whistleup]

I'm actually glad Jill isn't as rigid about Halloween as most fundies. I know Halloween is like a huge culture war in the fundie community.

[GeeGolly]

12 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I'm actually glad Jill isn't as rigid about Halloween as most fundies. I know Halloween is like a huge culture war in the fundie community.

Do the Dillards celebrate Halloween? 

[Lady Whistleup]

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Do the Dillards celebrate Halloween? 

i think they do. it's surprising. most fundies consider halloween the most wicked of holidays.

[emmawoodhouse]

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Do the Dillards celebrate Halloween? 

I guess we'll find out on Monday if the kids went trick or treating.

[GeeGolly]

4 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I guess we'll find out on Monday if the kids went trick or treating.

It looks like last year they did nothing. The year before they dressed up and hit-up restaurants that were giving out freebies. It'll be interesting to see what they do this year.

[SMama]

IIRC JB and M did not become rabid anti Halloween idiots until after a few kids. There are pictures of at least down to Jessa dressed up for the occasion. For some reason I remember some of the kids dressed as clowns. 

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I’m just glad it’s not another post about Jill’s late period. 

I’m just glad (ecstatic, really) that Israel is getting an honest-to-god education!