Reel to Real: Backstage, Twitter, & All Media Dram-ugh

[ByaNose]

1 minute ago, bannana said:

IIRC, Brenda Benet who play Lee on DOOL, killed herself after the death of her young son.  They just wrote her out of the storyline altogether.  I think that was again because she was so associated with the role, and because of the tragedy and circumstances of what lead to her death.  Wow, I still remember that, it had quite an impact at the time, even before social media.

I remember her as well. She was getting quite popular as the spoiler for the Doug & Julie romance. I’m sure Kristoff will get a big send off and remembrance. He was on a looooong time and was the figurehead of the Winters family. Time really flies though. I remember him on Gemerations and then when he came to Y&R. I can’t believe it was 1991.   

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, JasonCC said:

I doubt they'll recast--probably just insert Nate into storylines that had been for Neil (but would they even need to do that? The Winters family has been so reduced to a shadow of it's former self).

It would be a class act if Eileen would come back for a one-off funeral episode.

peacheslatour: you must be in Seattle too! The snow drives the local media crazy here (I say as I work from home). I think they should do a somber mention in the credits and then creatively edit what he's done and write the character off the show officially. No recast.

Are you in Seattle? Can you believe how big a deal they make of a few inches of snow? Although I'm damn glad I didn't have to drive in it, it's still seems silly to have hours of news coverage about something we could figure out by looking out of our windows.

[WendyCR72]

NBC News just had a story about KSJ's death. Not often you see the death of a daytime actor make the national news. 😥

[SiouxB]

Y&R didn't do an on-screen remembrance because they probably didn't have enough time but I am curious if Pop does something tomorrow morning...maybe they can insert something at the end..

...my first memory of KSJ was when he appeared on the Cosby show..he had a great line where he says he doesn't believe in grades and then when I found him on young & the restless, it was nice to see him again.....

Rest In Peace, Kristoff

[Gam2]

2 hours ago, ByTor said:

Speaking of Victoria Rowell, interesting that KSJ had been asking to bring her back.  I'm glad to see he stayed on her side throughout.

I hadn’t heard that Kristoff had been asking to bring back VW. She’s been gone for so long that I thought that this story was long dead. I have read over the years of the bad feelings between her and CBS. I did enjoy their relationship years ago on Y&R but then it seemed like she’d kind of gone off the rails re:CBS. Perhaps you have more information than I have. At any rate, it just seemed to me that it would be more seemly to make a comment about him to give some consolation to his family and friends. Leave the other stuff for some other time.

[miamama]

I feel so bad about this. It's so strange. Usually when a celebrity/actor/person I don't know in any real way dies I am startled and feel sorry for his/her loved ones but it all feels unreal, like I'm watching a movie. But I just feel sooo sad about Kristoff (like reading posts on social media is making me weep). The poor man was living with so much agony and he kept trying to function, working (when Mal bothered to give him half a scene), posting happy or inspiring pics on Instagram, getting engaged even, and fighting that legal battle with his son's hospital (can you imagine the torture of having to relive the horrid details of your child's final moments again and again in a legal case; as if losing him weren't enough), posting positivity on his Twitter, talking to INSANE soap Twitter fans who hate on him for a fictional couple. 

I don't know. It's just sad. Nothing but sad. :(

[Artsda]

I'm in shock since I heard the news, so tragic & unexpected. :( RIP.

[deirdra]

I would have preferred that VR not make Kristoff's death about herself, and just focus on Kristoff and his family.

[Anna Yolei]

10 hours ago, ByaNose said:

Wow! He was only 52. I've been watching him since the Bad News Bears with him and Tricia Cast.

I'm shocked, too. I've grown up watching this guy. Y&R airs in Sacramento at 11 am and I remember the show playing when my mom would get me ready for kindergarten.

I felt sad after Benjamin Henderson 's suicide (one also prompted from the death of a brother and mother within months of ech other, and probably triggered by having to bury his on-screen daughter), but this....this is different when you've watched  it your whole life. :(

RIP.

[Artsda]

[spinxella]

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 5, 2019 by spinxella

[ByTor]

24 minutes ago, Gam2 said:

I hadn’t heard that Kristoff had been asking to bring back VW. She’s been gone for so long that I thought that this story was long dead. I have read over the years of the bad feelings between her and CBS. I did enjoy their relationship years ago on Y&R but then it seemed like she’d kind of gone off the rails re:CBS. Perhaps you have more information than I have. At any rate, it just seemed to me that it would be more seemly to make a comment about him to give some consolation to his family and friends. Leave the other stuff for some other time.

Oh I definitely have no inside information.  VR said in her tweet that was posted here "Ain’t no mountain high enough, to keep me from you, my beloved @kristoffstjohn1 —though denied for a decade, you never stopped requesting for us to be reunited"

[WendyCR72]

I would never begrudge Victoria Rowell her feelings about her friend and former on-screen husband, but I found the whole CBS jab inappropriate at such a time. Just keep it to KSJ. Don't make it about you right now. Apologies to anyone this may offend, but I found that part in very poor taste.

[Capricasix]

Oh man, CK’s post 😭😭😭

[Gam2]

Yes, I read that too but that’s her talking. We don’t have any other proof or backup of what she said as far as I’ve been able to find out. At any rate, I am so sad about his death. That’s all that really matters.

[miamama]

1 minute ago, Capricasix said:

Oh man, CK’s post 😭😭😭

I know. Now I’m crying again. 

[ByTor]

1 minute ago, Gam2 said:

Yes, I read that too but that’s her talking. We don’t have any other proof or backup of what she said as far as I’ve been able to find out. At any rate, I am so sad about his death. That’s all that really matters.

I'll take her word for it :) . That's some awesome loyalty from him, and yeah, it's really sad that such a kind person is gone.

[Gam2]

For some reason, when I tried to quote ByTor’s post, it didn’t work. That might make more sense to all of you.

[bannana]

9 minutes ago, WendyCR72 said:

I would never begrudge Victoria Rowell her feelings about her friend and former on-screen husband, but I found the whole CBS jab inappropriate at such a time. Just keep it to KSJ. Don't make it about you right now. Apologies to anyone this may offend, but I found that part in very poor taste.

I agree with this.  Not the right time to make it about her dispute with CBS.  But I also believe that he did want VR back as Dru because that would have been great storyline for him and the Winters family.

[slayer2]

7 minutes ago, ByTor said:

I'll take her word for it :) . That's some awesome loyalty from him, and yeah, it's really sad that such a kind person is gone.

25 plus years watching him. Speechless. 

[HeatLifer]

Oh, man. Shemar’s voice and words just got me again. And CK. My heart.

[DeafAngelboy23]

11 hours ago, DeafAngelboy23 said:

RIP Kristoff St. John (July 15, 1966 - February 3, 2019) 

Good bye to one of the most iconic soap actors & we are going to miss you very much. I know it was not happy time for you but we also know you are no longer in pain. Rest In Peace & we love you... 🙏🏻

 

A man for all seasons... 🙏🏻

If you knew what I’m talking about then you know but if not? I’ll show you where it came from...

“More is a man of an angel's wit and singular learning. I know not his fellow. For where is the man of that gentleness, lowliness and affability? And, as time requireth, a man of marvelous mirth and pastimes, and sometime of as sad gravity. A man for all seasons." 

Robert Whittington back in the 1520s tried to describe St. Thomas More due to his legendary defiance to King Henry VIII.

The last sentence in the quote have always stayed with me for years.

[Angeleyes]

 Victoria Rowell and KSJ starred together in recent years in a series of Christmas movies on the UP Channel. She played the matriarch of a large family and he played her love interest. I was hoping next Christmas’s latest movie would be the year their characters married. I guess it will never be. 

As for Y&R, I’m also in the camp that believes his character Neil should be killed off and receive the same type of send off that Katherine received. Please don’t let them do what B&B did to OG Sally Spectra and just send him off to some island somewhere. The fans, the cast, and a legendary character deserve better than that. 

[babyhouseman]

Condolences to KSJ's family and friends. I remember the Malcolm/Olivia/Dru/Mamie days. One of the best Y and R storylines. 

[Syndicate]

His death has me feeling some type of way. Despite his pain about his son's suicide, I hope he didn't do this to himself. He has other children. I hate the idea that he would abandon his surviving kids.

[Capricasix]

1 minute ago, Syndicate said:

His death has me feeling some type of way. Despite his pain about his son's suicide, I hope he didn't do this to himself. He has other children. I hate the idea that he would abandon his surviving kids.

Sometimes the grief is so overwhelming that a parent can’t see any other way past it. My mother’s oldest brother died in a drowning accident as a teenager, in the mid-1940s. My grandmother never got over it, and took her own life in 1966 (I never knew her as I was born in 1970).

[jewel21]

I just read about KSJ. I'm so sad. And mad. It's so tragic but I have been worried about him since last year. I'm just heartbroken he was never able to get over the loss of his son. RIP, sir. 

[spinxella]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 5, 2019 by spinxella

[Big Blue Plate]

Isn't it sad?

VR... that Tweet is just the essence of all that is wrong with VR's career. 

Maybe show will open with something tomorrow?  Big reaction.  Should get them moving.

I too hope that Neil is written out dead and sent off properly.  Even a Jeanne Cooperesque special episode could be in order.   Again, so much press about this.  

[bannana]

1 hour ago, Capricasix said:

Sometimes the grief is so overwhelming that a parent can’t see any other way past it. My mother’s oldest brother died in a drowning accident as a teenager, in the mid-1940s. My grandmother never got over it, and took her own life in 1966 (I never knew her as I was born in 1970).

Yes, I believe this is true.  My brother died when I was 13, he was 19 and my parents honestly never got over it.  They lived on, but they had serious issues from that time on.  They probably had mental health issues before that, but his death exacerbated those and his death affected them terribly.

What strikes me about the many posts and tweets about KSJ is that everyone describes him as a loving, open, generous person, with a sense of joy.  But still he had this painful internal struggle with depression, and especially after his son died.  You look at someone like him and think, he has a great life, he has a great job, money, family, he is fit and healthy.  Yet the pain and despair he must have been feeling was overwhelming.  So much so that he was in that black hole called depression and couldn't climb out.  It is truly heartbreaking but my hope is that this will help advance the conversation about mental health and depression.

[Anna Yolei]

1 hour ago, Big Blue Plate said:

VR... that Tweet is just the essence of all that is wrong with VR's career. 

God, it truly was. I just... *facepalm*

 

1 hour ago, Big Blue Plate said:

I too hope that Neil is written out dead and sent off properly.

This. 

[Spencer Hastings]

1 hour ago, bannana said:

It is truly heartbreaking but my hope is that this will help advance the conversation about mental health and depression.

Agreed.  For me, I hope this not only opens up a conversation about mental health I general, but also mental health in the black community.  As a culture we are still so closed off from that conversation and mental health doesn’t have the same level of importance as physical health.  I hope this gets people talking because mental health is a real thing and depression can take you out of here. It’s a conversation that we steer clear of as a community.  KSJ has been such an important representation of the black community on television and I think he is universally recognized by any African American who had a mother or a grandmother with a television set. This is such a tragedy but I truly hope it advances the conversation.

[Anna Yolei]

3 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Agreed.  For me, I hope this not only opens up a conversation about mental health I general, but also mental health in the black community.  As a culture we are still so closed off from that conversation and mental health doesn’t have the same level of importance as physical health.  I hope this gets people talking because mental health is a real thing and depression can take you out of here. It’s a conversation that we steer clear of as a community.  KSJ has been such an important representation of the black community on television and I think he is universally recognized by any African American who had a mother or a grandmother with a television set. This is such a tragedy but I truly hope it advances the conversation.

As another black person, I agree fully with this. It's taken me years to understand an accept that taking anxiety medication is not a weakness and it's not a moral or character failing. I went to therapy for a year and a half and have finally began to feel secure in myself. And if the medication available wouldn't keep me up all night and I had a permanent job to take what know worked before, I would absolutely be using that.

[ByTor]

8 hours ago, Angeleyes said:

Please don’t let them do what B&B did to OG Sally Spectra and just send him off to some island somewhere.

Yeah, I thought about this, and they better not.  This IMO was a slap in the face to Darlene Conley, and would be one to KSJ.

21 minutes ago, Anna Yolei said:

I went to therapy for a year and a half and have finally began to feel secure in myself.

awww that's so good to hear!  Keep working on it, you deserve to feel good about yourself.

@spinxella, thanks for sharing all those tweets!  I really liked the one from "Luca Santori," how KSJ was one of a few who were nice to him.  It was said for a long time that the Y&R set isn't a pleasant place to be, I'm glad he was honest about that.

[jenrising]

It's lovely to see folks can take time out from being sad to dump all over VR and twist her sharing a comment about how kind and supportive her friend was into something ugly. What a tribute to KSJ's memory to assume the worst of her.

[Winston Wolfe]

6 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Agreed.  For me, I hope this not only opens up a conversation about mental health I general, but also mental health in the black community.  As a culture we are still so closed off from that conversation and mental health doesn’t have the same level of importance as physical health.  

As a Black man, it's always amazing to me how some family members believe they can "pray the depression away."  While I do believe in the power of prayer, it's not always that simple.  Sometimes clinical interventions are needed.  Neil was never one of my favorite characters, but I always liked KSJ.  I hope he finally found peace.

[CountryGirl]

14 hours ago, SiouxB said:

Y&R didn't do an on-screen remembrance because they probably didn't have enough time but I am curious if Pop does something tomorrow morning...maybe they can insert something at the end..

...my first memory of KSJ was when he appeared on the Cosby show..he had a great line where he says he doesn't believe in grades and then when I found him on young & the restless, it was nice to see him again.....

Rest In Peace, Kristoff

I was thinking about that episode last night where he was one of Denise's many boyfriends (David) and had mismatched socks on purpose and yes, of course, his philosophy on grades.

He tells Dr. H and Theo that he's been accepted to a number of Ivy League schools but isn't going because "I don't believe in grades."

Theo: "You too?"

Dr. H questions his philosophy, assuming he doesn't believe in grades because his grades suck (like Theo's).

David: "I get all As....But what is an A? What does it really mean?"

Theo, his voice cracking: "Yeah!!!"

David: "See, I've been reading Socrates and he believed that true learning comes just from observing the world." Very true.

Of course, then Theo wants to know: "Where can I get that book?"

That put a small smile on my face, remembering that.

But then I watched Shemar's IG message and I don't know what it is, but when a big, strong guy like that sounds so wrecked, it just gutted me.

I want to think he's at peace and reunited with Julian now...but it's so wrong that both of them are gone. They should be here and it's truly sad that they're not.

It's clear KSJ never got over Julian's death and that's because any parent who has to bury their child never gets over that. They don't. They can't. They simply learn to live with it...

I'm the youngest of six and lost the sibling, my brother, closest in age to me twenty-three years ago and sometimes, the pain of that takes my breath away to this very day as if it just happened. That is nothing compared to my mother's pain.

I'm reminded of Byron's quote: "And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on."

Until it just can't anymore.

Edited February 5, 2019 by CountryGirl

[miamama]

9 hours ago, bannana said:

Yes, I believe this is true.  My brother died when I was 13, he was 19 and my parents honestly never got over it.  They lived on, but they had serious issues from that time on.  They probably had mental health issues before that, but his death exacerbated those and his death affected them terribly.

What strikes me about the many posts and tweets about KSJ is that everyone describes him as a loving, open, generous person, with a sense of joy.  But still he had this painful internal struggle with depression, and especially after his son died.  You look at someone like him and think, he has a great life, he has a great job, money, family, he is fit and healthy.  Yet the pain and despair he must have been feeling was overwhelming.  So much so that he was in that black hole called depression and couldn't climb out.  It is truly heartbreaking but my hope is that this will help advance the conversation about mental health and depression.

So sorry for your loss @bannana. That must have been especially tough at 13. To lose your brother and also your parents in a sense.

And I agree. I think KSJ’s death is resonating for many (this has been heavily covered in mainstream press) because he was in the prime of his life, gorgeous, fit, comfortably rich, and yet he was so tormented he couldn’t bear it. If anyone doubted how devastating mental health issues are this ought to snap them out of it.

[CountryGirl]

(((HUGS))) @bannana. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Vixenstud]

50 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on.

This?  Leaves me speechless.

[Gigi43]

@bannana and @CountryGirl I'm so very sorry for both of your losses.

[Cupid Stunt]

Quote

What strikes me about the many posts and tweets about KSJ is that everyone describes him as a loving, open, generous person, with a sense of joy.  But still he had this painful internal struggle with depression, and especially after his son died.  You look at someone like him and think, he has a great life, he has a great job, money, family, he is fit and healthy.  Yet the pain and despair he must have been feeling was overwhelming.  So much so that he was in that black hole called depression and couldn't climb out.  It is truly heartbreaking but my hope is that this will help advance the conversation about mental health and depression.

I believe many of his eulogists are talking about their memories of KSJ, the person they knew from the past and presented to them as his "internal struggle" continued to wear away at his life. It's understandable. Many people likely didn't know how he felt, and those that did feel speaking publicly about the demons that continued to plague him would be bad form so immediately after his death. Some conversations will be kept quiet for some time.

KSJ suffered terrible personal losses with his son's hospitalization and suicide. We don't know the extent of the mental health and out patient care KSJ received, but I imagine suing the facility where his son died kept those circumstances predominant in his day-to-day life. Add the extended leave of absence (health and lawsuit) from Y&R, new relationship and engagement, while Maleficent wrote much of the Winters clan off-screen; his personal and professional life was dramatically in flux.

It takes time and determination to self-medicate with alcohol to the point of toxicity. His last day did not happen in a vacuum, isolated from the notice of others. 

It's a tragic end to an actor we have watched for 28+ years.

Edited February 5, 2019 by Cupid Stunt

[Vixenstud]

11 minutes ago, Cupid Stunt said:

It takes time and determination to self-medicate with alcohol to the point of toxicity.

Mr. Vixenstud and I were talking about Kristoff some more last night, and:

Remember Debralee Scott?  (For those of us watching tv during the 70's)  She was a character actress, best known as Rosalie 'Hotsy' Totsy on Welcome Back Kotter.  Anyway, she had a fiance who died in the 9/11 buildings and never got over it; she drank so much she eventually died in her sleep.

Edited February 5, 2019 by Vixenstud

[Anna Yolei]

4 hours ago, Winston Wolfe said:

As a Black man, it's always amazing to me how some family members believe they can "pray the depression away."  While I do believe in the power of prayer, it's not always that simple.  Sometimes clinical interventions are needed.  Neil was never one of my favorite characters, but I always liked KSJ.  I hope he finally found peace.

Yeah. I brought that up to my brother who insists I'd feel more peace of I "let God into [my] life," to which I had to remind him all the praying in the world didn't fix my teenage degression and self-worth, his ADHD and depression when he was bullied and harrassed by racists teacher who told his homeschool teacher he lied about everything (including having a dog of all things! The teacher was so appalled by all of it that she quit the following year when she found this was happening to other kids!) or budged my mom's anxiety. 

Why the hell anyone would want to worship a Good that plauged them with this illness is beyond my understanding.

I could make a whole essay on how and why mental illness is so rampant in our community, but you're right that we need to be having these conversations. Younger kids are doing this and that is great.

[Black Knight]

Lee Thompson Young (of Rizzoli & Isles) is another that comes to mind - actively working series regular who seemed to have so much going for him but was depressed, and his coworkers were on set to film when they learned about him. So very sad.

[Sake614]

https://daytimeconfidential.com/2019/02/05/bryton-james-and-christel-khalil-break-their-silence-on-tv-dad-kristoff-st-johns-death

[Capricasix]

 

So today’s Cdn is his final episode 😢

Edited February 5, 2019 by Capricasix

[Sake614]

https://www.soapoperadigest.com/content/kristoff-st-johns-final-airdate-revealed/

KRISTOFF ST. JOHN’S FINAL AIRDATE REVEALED

February 5, 2019 4:09PM

Kristoff St. John’s final airdate as Y&R’s Neil Winters will air on Wednesday, February 6. A special tribute to the late actor, who joined the soap in 1991, will air on Friday, February 8. St. John passed away over the weekend, and tributes have been posted online from colleagues and friends.

[jewel21]

God, I'm still reeling from this news. I'd been worried ever since his suicide attempt last year that something would happen to him. Every time I would notice his absence on Y&R, like when they said Neil moved closer to the prison, I would worry it had to do with his mental health. I am devastated that he couldn't find a way to live in this world without his son, especially since he had two daughters who were still living. But, I guess a loss of a child is not something everyone can learn to live with, and it seemed the more time had passed since Julian's death, the more KSJ's struggles came to light. From all the tweets I've been reading, he was truly a lovely man who was friendly and warm and empathetic which just makes his loss all the more tragic. It reminds me a bit of Robin Williams. He was another actor who always had a smile on his face and loved to make others laugh, and yet, he too couldn't live in this world. R.I.P Kristoff. I hope you find the peace you were so desperately searching for in life. 

[IOU Payne]

I'm watching the Canadian feed as I write this.  I can't believe this will be the last air date for the character of Neil.  It's even harder to wrap my head around Kristoff St. John not being here.