S01.E03: Episode 3

[KR Vermont]

When Chris asked Elise to come home with him, I assumed his plan was to have her be his oh-so-willing nursemaid until the knee heals up...then it's heave-ho, if they can even make it that far. I'm surprised we didn't get more about what happened when they shared the hotel room.

[wovenloaf]

Sarah and Michelle both need to realize they are allowed to find men to date that have never been on the Bachelor franchise.  

 

Indeed.

 

Sarah's "I'm all alone, no one's into me" was so stupid. She had just sent home the one person there who seemed to actually be interested in her (Dylan), so that she could hang out with Robert who she doesn't seem to have had more than a chat with before giving him a rose. I guess it worked out for her with Robert, but don't send home the one person who is trying to hang out with you, then immediately whine that no one is trying to hang out with you.

 

I felt bad for her for about a second when she was saying no one liked her because of her arm. But no. The problem is that she's just sad and boring all the time. Besides, maybe if she stopped surrounding herself in shallow trashy people then she would have more fulfilling relationships.

 

What is up with AshLee's terrible mascara?? She looks like a clumpy mess at all times.

 

Danielle should be glad she gets to leave. She was the prettiest one there, and doesn't seem too crazy; she can do wayyyy better than Marquel. He dresses like a moron, and he sounds like one when he talks.

 

Why was everybody freaking out about how hot the new girl (Jackie?) was?? She kind of just looks like a boring 14 year old. She's not ugly, but she's nothing special. And where was this amazing body she was supposed to have? All her shirts were just loose sacks...she had toned arms and seems to be in good shape, but I didn't see anything else so incredibly amazing.

[Mayadog]

My favorite verbal gems from the episode as said by Elise: "He told me three times (that he wouldn't accept a rose) but I needed him to confirm it before I could give you the rose,"  and, in regards to Chris, "He fought for me".  How did he "fight" for her?  By accepting the rose?  By accepting the date?  By moving her to the shared hotel room to get her to stop talking?   Classics.  I also loved the scenes of the group sitting around the fire and Marcus/Lacey wrapped around each other - "Are any of you coupled up?" says a newcomer.  Um, yep.  And shortly thereafter Clare wraps herself around her guy so that he isn't selected for the date.  

[Etta Place]

Ashlee's "hot babies" comment was really jarring to me, too. I have never heard anyone say that before, thank goodness.

 

Clare was oddly adorable in the talking head when she talked about the turtle. Just the part where she was excited about it, not the part where she was saying her dad was visiting her as an egg-laying turtle or whatever she was babbling about.

 

I wonder if Danielle had said that she was open to investigating romantic possibilities with men other than Marquel, Graham might have given her his rose and booted Ashlee? That's probably wishful thinking on my part.

[bosawks]

ROFL

 

I can't remember for sure but I believe it was AshLee saying (more than once) that she and Graham were going to have "hot" babies.  Who refers to their baby as "hot?"  Couldn't she just say "cute," or "adorable?"

 

Maybe in one of her few delusion free moments she realized that any baby conceived in this CDC petri dish would, in all probability, be born running a temperature.....

[jackjill89]

I really don't think Sarah is that bad. I think even the most well-adjusted, sane women would have trouble being surrounded by the over confident bimbos that generally populate Bachelor shows. She's just not a good fit for this atmosphere. I know I would sound like Eeyore if you stuck me with this group flouncing around in their bikinis and desperation. 

[AV8n]

Random thoughts...

 

Seeing Elise "take care of" Chris for some reason made me think of the movie "Misery".  Dude better watch out, especially now that there are no cameras around.

 

Graham was *this close* to bouncing to the 'Nard.  Previews for next week make this still seem a distinct possibility.

 

Michelle will latch onto anyone who might help her stay.  If a three-legged llamma shows up with a date card next week, she's in.

 

Marquel's thing about not kissing on the first date seemed a little disingenuous, I guess because in my mind I thought he had been locking lips with Danielle.  Guess I was mistaken about that.  He is definitely making the most of the experience.  Had he turned down Jackie, he would have missed out on the Mayan ruins.  Plus the date with Danielle damn near killed him (lightning).

[Kbilly]

When Jackie came, Zack's interest was totally piqued and he looked bummed to be already ensnared. The girls advise "Just pick anyone!" and then Clare rests her head on his shoulder "Claimed!" Sad bc Jackie said she liked Zach too. And it's sad that Graham said he was interested in Clare, and she him, prior to Ashlee's claiming--seems like some connections are being missed.

 

Michelle, desperation is a stinky cologne. She came off so pathetic tonight it was hard to watch. Suddenly it's all about Robert and for no apparent reason other than he's breathing. They look ridiculous together and this is coming from a woman her age. He looks like 15 and she looks not 33.  

 

Sarah needed not to be crying. Robert was not into Michelle and when he went to hang out with Sarah she was too busy crying over that lame "double date" to use the time wisely.

 

Elise was so embarrassingly crazy with her rainbow talk and equating ACL sprains with true love. Chris sucks but it seemed like the editors were splicing up things he said to make him sound like a dick--using "My knee hurts" "There's a lot of talking, I'm done listening" and "I'll get it done" as his date commentary. 

Edited August 19, 2014 by Kbilly

[jackjill89]

Michelle was pathetic. If Marquel hadn't gone with Danielle she would have stuck with him. She only went to Robert because he was the only unattached one left. She can say otherwise in 10 different talking heads, but it doesn't make it true. 

 

Maybe she needs to consider that the Bachelor franchise might not be the best place to find a husband. 

Edited August 19, 2014 by jackjill89

[KerleyQ]

Michelle was pathetic. If Marquel hadn't gone with Danielle she would have stuck with him. She only went to Robert because he was the only unattached one left. She can say otherwise in 10 different talking heads, but it doesn't make it true. 

 

Maybe she needs to consider that the Bachelor franchise might not be the best place to find a husband. 

 

And when Chris started out (paraphrasing) "there's one person here who really deserves to find love.."  Michelle immediately seemed to assume that, of course, he was talking about her.  (I mean, he was, but still...)  And that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to her?  Really?  Yeesh. 

[leighdear]

I really don't think Sarah is that bad. I think even the most well-adjusted, sane women would have trouble being surrounded by the over confident bimbos that generally populate Bachelor shows.

The problem is that Sarah is not LISTENING to these "confident" women.  She's simply observing their clothes, posture, expressions, etc.  Most of the women have expressed, some multiple times, their massive insecurities and confusions about the various guys. 

 

Michelle has been running her own personal "Salon Chair Confidential" on an hourly basis.  But Sarah is just not hearing what's going on around her, and under that hair spray. She's seeing pretty girls in pretty dresses with pretty hair, being pretty. Not women being independent, confident and self-assured.  Michelle & Clare had to talk each other into creating that double date.   

 

Sarah's own assumptions about the other women are her biggest problem, and she's created those herself.

Edited August 19, 2014 by leighdear

[Pixel]

I will never, never, ever understand why those girls think Chris Bukowski is attractive. I'm a middle aged (47) mom with two kids and I'm fairly average looking, and I don't think he's even in MY league. The dude is sleazy looking.

[wovenloaf]

I will never, never, ever understand why those girls think Chris Bukowski is attractive. I'm a middle aged (47) mom with two kids and I'm fairly average looking, and I don't think he's even in MY league. The dude is sleazy looking.

 

Totally agree! His eyes are so sleazy/creepy looking...ugh! I also don't get why any of them think Zack is hot...he looks like such a meathead. But I guess these Bachelor girls like the meathead look...

 

And on the topic of Zack, I feel like Clare's only criteria for a man to date is whether that man wants to date her. Before Chris came, she was all like "i'm not really connecting with anyone here," then he came and they went on a date and she's suddenly "he might be my soul mate!" Then Chris makes out with Elise, and Clare goes back to "I'm not really connecting with anyone." Deja vu: Zack shows up! Zack takes her on a date and she's all of sudden "he might be my soul mate" about him. She's just into whoever is paying attention to her at the moment. 

[FlyingEgret]

Three episodes in and I'm still saying "Zack who?" every time he shows up on screen.

 

Who?

[backformore]

Marquel is getting on my nerves now, and I say that as someone who used to be a huge fan of his.  He doesn't seem to be able to settle down and say no to anyone.  Maybe that's why he's still single.  I may start to believe those who say he's just a player.

 

I disagree - he's at a party, a party that lasts several days, and he's trying to meet all the women to see who he wants to date.   He's playing it like he's the Bachelor, doing the sequential dating thing.  Since the whole show is based on cast-offs from the Bachelor/ette shows, more of them should do the same thing.  

 

Along those lines, when a new person comes along with a date card, I think the smart thing would be if the couples were separated, so the new person could meet all  the girls or guys, and decide who to ask on the date.  And they need to have a little while to decide.  that way, they don't have to pick the one person who might be standing alone at the moment (Marquel), but actually choose someone they are attracted to.  Even if that person has made out with someone else. 

 

It seems like all these women are thinking "someone pick me!  what if I don't get picked? What's wrong with me that they like all the other girls better?  I'll die alone!  Wait - this guy likes me!   I have value!   Someone likes me!  Who wants to be my maid of honor?"   

  

While the men are thinking "OK, this girl likes me, but wait, there's some other cute girls over there!  and another one on the beach - did i get the best one? How will I know if I can't get this one to let go? How do I get her to loosen her grasp so I can meet the other girls?" 

[Irritable]

I really loved what Sarah wore to the rose ceremony.  That white dress with the large beaded necklace was perfection, and she looked so fresh and youthful.  Aside from the granny swimsuit she wore on her date with Marcus, I think she dresses really well and just right for her figure.

 

Mr. Irritable was confused by the whole thing about Clare's father.  He said, "I don't get it...is she saying her dad was reincarnated as a sea turtle?"  and I said, "No, honey, that would be crazy.  She is saying her dad SENT the sea turtle as sign that she is on the right path toward her new life!  Please try to keep up."

[Stella MD]

 

I wonder if Danielle had said that she was open to investigating romantic possibilities with men other than Marquel, Graham might have given her his rose and booted Ashlee? That's probably wishful thinking on my part.

I was thoroughly expecting him to give his rose to Michelle, both to save her and to get away from AshLee, but I guess he didn't want to give her the wrong impression either.

 

I think it's hilarious that all of the men sort of realize that the women are certifiable Stage 5 Clingers, except for Marcus, who is right there drinking the KoolAid with Lacy.

Edited August 19, 2014 by Stella MD

[ramble]

With apologies to any person who has ever written any song at any time on any planet any where. And I think that I may need a life...

Wrong reasons, wrong reasons

I'm watching this show for all the wrong reasons

I laugh at the drama & snicker at the crying

I love it when the raccoon does a little spying

I like to watch a stage five clinger get a rose

He's scared of her while she thinks he'll propose

I'm eighty forty on any true love chances

But I betcha there is some getting in the pantses

Keep the booze flowing & give out the free beer Please find more crazy & come back next year

Wrong reasons, wrong reasons

I'm watching this show for all the wrong reasons

[CindyBee]

 

And on the topic of Zack, I feel like Clare's only criteria for a man to date is whether that man wants to date her. Before Chris came, she was all like "i'm not really connecting with anyone here," then he came and they went on a date and she's suddenly "he might be my soul mate!" Then Chris makes out with Elise, and Clare goes back to "I'm not really connecting with anyone." Deja vu: Zack shows up! Zack takes her on a date and she's all of sudden "he might be my soul mate" about him. She's just into whoever is paying attention to her at the moment. 

 

Claire did say that she had been hanging out with Zack in group settings on the reject reunion circuit so her being into him so quickly isn't that crazy to me.  Thinking that Chris B was reformed, yes that was very delusional but I'll give her a small break with Zack, since she knew him before arriving in paradise.

 

I'm sorry to see Elise and her crazy head off to Chicago as I feel like we missed out on some epic moments in the coming days from her.   Oh well, it looks like AshLee will deliver in the next episode.   Can't wait!!

[ShaNaeNae]

I've been to Tulum and specifically to the place where Robert and Clare had a date (ep one?). When I went, there were lots of people so they must shut these places down for a time while filming.

 

I'd be pissed if I finally got vacation at work, flew my ass down to Cancun and I couldn't even look at the damn ruins because Bach rejects who will never stay together wanted to be filmed.

 

Who?

 

Ha, I said that when they said he was going to be on.  "Oh Zach. The cute and outgoing offshore engineer. Oh, the other Zach? Who? There was another Zach?" I even had to Google him real quick to get a picture of his face before writing this.  I feel like the only time we saw him last night was in the dark.

 

Mr. Irritable was confused by the whole thing about Clare's father.  He said, "I don't get it...is she saying her dad was reincarnated as a sea turtle?"  and I said, "No, honey, that would be crazy.  She is saying her dad SENT the sea turtle as sign that she is on the right path toward her new life!  Please try to keep up."

 

Don't feel bad Mr. Irratable. I was lost too.

[Palomar]

I think it's hilarious that all of the men sort of realize that the women are certifiable Stage 5 Clingers, except for Marcus, who is right there drinking the KoolAid with Lacy.

 

 

Not surprising since Marcus was ready to marry Andi after about a week or two of "dating".  She even seemed surprised and wary of that.

 

In real life, if a girl proclaimed she wanted to get married and could see a future with a guy after a couple of dates she would never hear from him again. 

[sarkygal]

I didn't watch much of Andi's season, but I'd heard of Marquel as a fan favorite. I don't understand why the women were so upset he accepted a date with Jackie. Clare went on 2 dates (almost 3) before picking her BIP-buddy and no one called her out for it. The fact that he hasn't made a move on any of the women till Jackie makes me think he wasn't that into Andi either. I think he's just a guy who doesn't get physical unless he's really into someone. If he'd hooked up with Michelle and Danielle, I'd understand the hurt. He's been paired up with Michelle since she arrived and she admitted they hadn't kissed. 

 

I think Chris played a line between obviously getting some from desperate Elise and a redemption edit. It seemed he's fed up with being a Bachelor "villain", but he really is still a douchey frat boy who just wants notches on his bed post. He got the girl, knowing she's delusional and he can ditch her away from the cameras and redeems himself by sacrificing his stay in paradise so fan fave Michelle can stay. Well played, Bukowski.

 

Ashlee... there are no words. 

[Kbilly]

I think it's hilarious that all of the men sort of realize that the women are certifiable Stage 5 Clingers

 

Me too, I laughed so hard at Graham's face when Ashlee said "I follow you on Instagram". But then he was hypnotized by her Barbie body and butt shaking and ended up kissing her. At least he didn't spend the night with her.

[MsPH]

How can people not know Zack? He is a publisher and the sole reason Chris Siegfried got to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a "poet". He is an enabler. 

[RedheadZombie]

 

Marquel is getting on my nerves now, and I say that as someone who used to be a huge fan of his.  He doesn't seem to be able to settle down and say no to anyone.  Maybe that's why he's still single.  I may start to believe those who say he's just a player.

 

He starts that whole - we hug around here - crap every time a new woman shows up.  Does he say that to the new guys?

 

Claire didn't seem to have too much screen time tonight.  But, I would LOVE for her to be the next Bachelorette.  That is, if things don't work out with Zack.

 

I don't even watch Bachelor/Bachelorette, but I agree that Clare, or even Sarah, would be a good candidate.

 

Wow. That was a surprise ending. Granted, I missed Chris and Elise's date, so last I saw she was marrying Dylan whether he liked it or not. But I truly thought douchebag Chris was going to pull an asshole move and humiliate Elise so he could move on to his next victim, but not only was he sweet to Elise, but to Michelle as well! He must be on some heavy-duty painkillers! BTW, what happened to his leg anyway?

 

Well, apparently he was walking ......  At first, I suspected that he had a previous injury he was attempting to get the show to cover. I'm not so sure now.  He talked a lot about being in pain, but he never looked to be in distress.

[janeyjay]

Chris may not have looked to be in distress, but he compensated for that by moaning and groaning in alleged pain every time he was on camera. Rafael Nadal doesn't make as much noise playing Roger Federer in a championship match as Chris did simply hanging around. Whatever the sound editors for this train wreck are being paid is not enough.

Edited August 19, 2014 by janeyjay

[KerleyQ]

I think it's hilarious that all of the men sort of realize that the women are certifiable Stage 5 Clingers, except for Marcus, who is right there drinking the KoolAid with Lacy.

 

 

I keep thinking he should have just gone for Elyse.  Can you imagine? They'd have been married before the end of the 2nd episode. 

[woodscommaelle]

Who refers to their baby as "hot?"  Couldn't she just say "cute," or "adorable?"

 

I feel like the kids on Laguna Beach said that about Kristen and Steeeeeeeeeephen having a baby.  That the baby would be hot.  (And tan...but that's just too much dumb for one post ;)

 

He starts that whole - we hug around here - crap every time a new woman shows up.  Does he say that to the new guys?

 

Cannot STAND that!  Andi did it a lot on her first episode when they got out of their limos.  "I'm a hugger."  Blech.

Edited August 19, 2014 by woodscommaelle

[KnoxForPres]

Chris may not have looked to be in distress, but he compensated for that by moaning and groaning in alleged pain every time he was on camera. Rafael Nadal doesn't make as much noise playing Roger Federer in a championship match as Chris did simply hanging around. Whatever the sound editors for this train wreck are being paid is not enough.

Ha, yes! He never shut up about the pain. I also didn't quite understand needing to leave. This isn't The Amazing Race. Pop a few hydro and relax by the beach. Get Elise to fetch sunscreen, Cheetos, what have you.

At the end when he was giving Michelle the rose, I found so many things odd. One, at first I thought he was choking up giving his speech. Next they show Michelle making faces one would expect while receiving The Lifetime Achievement Award. So now we are back to Chris who instead of fighting emotion seems to be stifling laughter. Then Elise is petting Michelle with a "ain't my guy grand" look. It was one of the odder scenes I've ever seen.

Sara is so bland. I don't think she ever would have been cast on any of these shows if she had all limbs. She makes horrible tv. So instead of begrudging her arm, she should be thankful bc it was her one way ticket to fame whore. Lighten the fuck up and please don't give backhanded advice again.

[Zahdii]

Michelle will latch onto anyone who might help her stay.  If a three-legged llamma shows up with a date card next week, she's in.

And then we'll be treated to Sarah crying that she finally had hope that she could "form a connection" to someone who would understand her and overlook her missing half limb, only to be shoved aside by Michelle.  Wahhhh!

[AuntieDiane6]

I like Marquel for playing along, but he is totally being coached by the producers.  They've been in trouble for not having a minority Bachelor or Bachelorette, so they find an agreeable black guy and get him to act interested in one of the girls, but not to seriously kiss one "on camera."  In return, they promise they'll make sure he can stick around for at least a few episodes.  He has ZERO chemistry with any of the girls to the extent that I wondered if he was gay.  The one minority girl (not sure of Danielle's race, actually) picked him, but of course, THEY couldn't get together because producers don't want it to appear like it was "segregation."  Anyhow, MHO. 

[MyFangirlLife]

I have too many thoughts on this episode to fit into a cohesive comment here…I did organize it into a blog post of anyone wants to check it out:

Tuesday Walk of Shame: Bachelor in Paradise Recap - To Stay or To Go?

It'll be your daily dose of sass mixed with a Bachelor analysis.

[FireFoxy]

Goodbye, Elise. Your delusion will be missed. At least hers is a sweet/naive delusion, not a batshit crazy one like AshLee.

 

Speaking of AshLee, YIKES! I actually feel bad for Graham. You can tell he is between a rock and a hard place because none of the other women dares getting near him. I actually think he could've worked with Clare or maybe even Danielle from Sean's season. They were interacting quite a bit the first day. AshLee's delusion is something to behold.

 

Michelle, desperation is not cute. Also not cute? All that makeup.

 

Speaking of makeup, WHAT was Lacey wearing on her face during the rose ceremony?!? Lawd! 

 

I still like Marquel and I agree with those who think he is making the most of the whole situation. He is there to meet people and go on dates. How dare he?!?

 

I feel so bad for Sara. She is super pretty and sweet. She needs to embrace it and be confident.

 

AshLee and Lacey's baby voices are driving me NUTS! Please STAHP!

[The Evil One]

I agree that Elise is naive delusional. She seems so young and desperate to be in love - with anyone. AshLee, on the other hand, has her laser beams of love focused on one thing, poor Graham. When he said the thing about not being focused on "forever" the look on her face was "is this the wrong time to tell him that I bought side by side burial plots for us? Or is that more of a second date conversation?"

Edited August 20, 2014 by The Evil One

[TheFinalRose]

I love this show. I laugh so much when I am watching it and I thank the editors for not even pretending to take it seriously. 

 

Speaking of AshLee, YIKES! I actually feel bad for Graham. You can tell he is between a rock and a hard place because none of the other women dares getting near him. I actually think he could've worked with Clare or maybe even Danielle from Sean's season. They were interacting quite a bit the first day. AshLee's delusion is something to behold.

 

 

I dunno, I'm feeling that Graham may be a little bit of a pushover if he lets AshLee call the shots on his adventure in paradise.  It makes me respect Dylan more for shaking off Elise when he recognized her as a Stage 5 clinger. Of course, that got him booted off but I can't see that as anything other than a win/win...the accommodations in paradise are so low rent. And that paradise is sure windy, don't you think? 

 

Ha, yes! He never shut up about the pain. I also didn't quite understand needing to leave. This isn't The Amazing Race. Pop a few hydro and relax by the beach. Get Elise to fetch sunscreen, Cheetos, what have you.

 

 

I would leave too. No phone, tv or internet stuck in a crappy hut on the beach while being in pain and unable to get yourself around? What does he have to lose if he drags Elyse back home with him? And it appears to me that Chris is making a career out of appearing on these Bachelor-derivative shows. I am sure this is not the last we will see of him. Unfortunately.

 

 

I will never, never, ever understand why those girls think Chris Bukowski is attractive. I'm a middle aged (47) mom with two kids and I'm fairly average looking, and I don't think he's even in MY league.

 

 

I think back on the old TwoP someone said he reminds them of Squidward, from Sponge Bob. I remember wondering why in the world Emily dragged him along to number 4 on her season.

 

Plus the date with Danielle damn near killed him (lightning).

 

 

I know. If anyone was on the receiving end of a sign in this episode it was Marquel with that lighting strike. Although the message might have been dude, don't wait for the production team to call time when a storm is coming. Use your own judgment.

 

When Jackie came, Zack's interest was totally piqued and he looked bummed to be already ensnared. The girls advise "Just pick anyone!" and then Clare rests her head on his shoulder "Claimed!" Sad bc Jackie said she liked Zach too. And it's sad that Graham said he was interested in Clare, and she him, prior to Ashlee's claiming--seems like some connections are being missed.

 

 

This is true but if we know it then rest assured production knows it and I am confident that they will find ways to break up the coupled ups. Except for Marcus and Lacy, who are so boring. Marcus seems depressed.

 

And next week looks awesome, as our friend the racoon returns. 

 

 

 

[wovenloaf]

And that paradise is sure windy, don't you think? 

 

Yes! I've noticed this in every episode. It seems like it is always unpleasantly windy there. 

 

How is this place paradise? Sleeping in twin-size bunk beds all night and then being windblown all day? BiP so clearly has no budget for this. Even the stationary of the date cards is crappy -- the envelopes look like they have dirt all over them, and then the cards are just written in Sharpie. So busted. 

[TheFinalRose]

Even the stationary of the date cards is crappy -- the envelopes look like they have dirt all over them, and then the cards are just written in Sharpie. So busted.

 

 

Oh yes and this reminds me of the "Your flight leaves at 9" line the date cards all end with, which I hate. 

 

I'm wondering if they had no intention of upping for transportation away from paradise for dates and overnights, etc., and then when they got a week into filming realized they had to start shelling out or else the contestants were going to mutiny. Or they couldn't twist the arm of the Campeche tourist office hard enough to come up with enough locations to comp them so poor Marquel ends up going to the same place two days in a row. 

[NikSac]

Looks like the raccoon will make another visit...

 

Yay!  I love the conversations with the raccoon...

[Beebee111]

 

I thank the editors for not even pretending to take it seriously.

 

THIS. Yes  - I'm grateful the editors are "wrong reasons" editors. The creepy/clown music makes me laugh to no end.

[NikSac]

Chris may not have looked to be in distress, but he compensated for that by moaning and groaning in alleged pain every time he was on camera. Rafael Nadal doesn't make as much noise playing Roger Federer in a championship match as Chris did simply hanging around. Whatever the sound editors for this train wreck are being paid is not enough.

 

Was it just me or were they playing the same "My knee hurts" quote over-and-over-and-over though?  I was wondering how much he said it vs. how much the editors just threw it in there.

[Andromeda]

I've really become convinced that Michelle Money is on some level working with or for the producers in a way the other contestants aren't. She's like a senior member of the contestants in whatever show she's cast in, someone the producers really rely on to move the plot along and give good interviews. Maybe it's not intentional, but I just get the sense the producers rely on her to make things interesting, but not because she's cray-cray like an Elise -- but because she knows what makes good TV and knows how to work with them.

 

That doesn't mean I don't think she's genuinely looking for a guy, and I really think she adds to the proceedings. Even on her original season, Brad's, she was a highlight. That said, she was ridiculous in regards to both Marquel and Robert (but it provided good TEEVEE, see...).

 

Elise was also ridiculous. I think Chris dumped her the second they got home. I think the producers suggested he take her along and give his rose to Michelle, to repair his reputation since he was leaving anyway, and they wanted to keep Michelle. The way Elise acted when she was "nursing" Chris was gross -- she was actually happy that he was hurting, no real empathy there. "Misery," for sure! What a nutcase.

 

Sarah really grates. I was hoping she was gone. I think she's a nice girl, but the whiny voice -- ai ai ai!! (As Juan Pablo would say).

 

I thought it was smart for Claire and Michelle to create a date situation with a couple of the guys. Better than sitting there getting sand in your shorts while other people go on "dates." (Again, Michelle helps take action to keep an episode interesting.)

 

I would leave too. No phone, tv or internet stuck in a crappy hut on the beach while being in pain and unable to get yourself around?

 

Me, too. One of the girls said why not stay, it's "Paradise," he could be in pain there as well as at home, but that place doesn't seem nearly as comfortable as most homes! There's something about lying on your own couch and sleeping in your own bed that a junky Mexican hotel is not going to be able to substitute for. Even a nice hotel couldn't.

 

Ashlee's "hot babies" comment was really jarring to me, too. I have never heard anyone say that before, thank goodness.

Hot babies... That means that their children, born from a reality show mating, will someday be hot enough to be on TEEVEE! Edited August 20, 2014 by Andromeda

[fib]

Hot babies... That means that their children, born from a reality show mating, will someday be hot enough to be on TEEVEE!

 

I have to think Ashlee is just wrong about this… Between Ashlee's weird head/neck connection and Graham's propensity to wear jackets without collared shirts, I imagine their babies will look a lot like bobble-head dolls. 

[JudyObscure]

I agree that Chris looks exactly like Squidward in the face, but I think girls find him handsome the way guys find Lacey beautiful. From the neck down he is one fine broad shouldered, long legged man. If only those legs actually worked. His ineptitude at sports, his funny run, and his ability to mess up his knee while walking on sand, makes me think something around the knee wasn't hitting just right. I had his same injury a few years ago; ruptured ACL, MCL and meniscus. I broke two bones at the same time but it was the torn ligaments that caused enough horrific, pain to keep me in a nursing home for three weeks. So, I think he really needed to go home with his "care giver."

Marcus seems depressed.

Looking at droopy Marcus and sunken eyed Lacy slumped together in the mornings, I fear there might be Vampires in Paradise.

I can barely wait for next Monday! I think I head Graham accuse AshLee of being incredibly tacky. Tacky how, I want to know? Tacky as in green sequined bikinis or tacky as in lewd notes in his t-shirt pocket? Poor AshLee, her "dance" moves indicated a sort of lack of social finesse that makes me cringe, laugh and pity her all at the same time.

[Rainsong]

 

And what was with AshLee and her 'dancing'?  She just kind of shimmied her ass for a few seconds.  Strange.

 

Strange, perhaps, but this red-blooded male didn't mind for a second.  AshLee's physique is impressive enough to overcome (temporarily at least) her clutching, desperate personality.  This girl should have bucketloads of confidence and exhibiting same (by being poised, quiet, demure, etc.) would have the guys queued up outside her door and down the street.  I know it might be anathema for her to take a page from Catherine's book but the way to a man's heart is a warm smile not an intense stare.  I guess she just proves the cliche that a stunner often doesn't view herself that way. Next week looks like a train wreck and is that an old flame they've flown in to stir up trouble?  Obviously there's a Clare/AshLee spat and apart from hyperventilating are there implications on-screen or here that AshLee harmed herself?  It's self-evident to say it's not worth it, but it's not.

 

 

I've really become convinced that Michelle Money is on some level working with or for the producers in a way the other contestants aren't. She's like a senior member of the contestants in whatever show she's cast in, someone the producers really rely on to move the plot along and give good interviews.

 

She almost certainly signed some contract distinct from the others.  The film she appeared in won't sell many DVD copies but she is still an actress and as we've seen she is always playing a role in her various Bachelor appearances, crying jags notwithstanding.  To say she gets a disproportionate amount of camera time is to say they overdo the red-herring edits in teasers.  She's nothing more than a spoiler at this point. Sarah went from ecstasy to agony when the clearly-scripted 'leftover' rose was given to Michelle.  The editors are fond of inserting shots of the raccoon and apparently Michelle took her rose ceremony makeup cues from the creature.

 

By the way, is anyone keeping a running tally of iguana insert shots?  We must be well into double digits by now.

 

I thought Chris B would eventually express the thoughts of men everywhere who are sick or injured i.e. Leave Me The Hell Alone For 5 Minutes but instead he soaked up the attention from Elise.  As a player in both his personal life and his Bachelor persona, I am quite shocked that he appears to have settled. His knee may not require surgery but even Johns Hopkins' finest couldn't cut Elise loose once she attached herself.

 

As always, I'm torn between admiring Sarah's courage and despairing at her insecurity. I wish that she could be hypnotized to forget her imaginary liabilities if only for 20 minutes.  She would be pleasantly surprised at the result.  At any rate, good on her for her late-game save.

 

Sounds as if Lacy has landed her fish good and proper.  Males, no matter how smitten, are not prone to saying the L word first and even less prone when cameras or witnesses are present.

 

From this chair, Jackie Parr is outrageously hot and, frankly, another case study in 'this person hardly needs a reality show to attract a mate,' assuming you exclude the self-promotion and fame-at-any-cost angle.  Redheads tend to get lumped in together but the auburn hair types are different class.  They don't have the washed-out, pale, freckled look.  And for those questioning the praise for her physique, I can only offer the proverbial 1,000 words: http://goo.gl/FULnVb

 

For good or ill, the cast page at the ABC site has 'surprise' participants' photos/bios already posted.  In other words, they're spoiling their own show!  Is this sloppiness, laziness, other?

 

It's always amusing to watch the girls' reaction at being chosen for a rose.  There is the 'I knew this was coming' smile, the 'I want to sprint over there but I'll pretend to be demure' suppressed grin of relief, and, of course, the 'Ha!  Put one over on them!' smirk.

Edited August 20, 2014 by Rainsong

[FamilyVan]

I wonder if Danielle had said that she was open to investigating romantic possibilities with men other than Marquel, Graham might have given her his rose and booted Ashlee? That's probably wishful thinking on my part.

 

 

I kind of had a feeling that's where he was going with that conversation.  I felt bad for him when he said to Michelle that any new girl that comes on is not going to be interested in him becuase of Ashlee and he did not sign up for that.  I can totally see why both the new girls asked out Marquel, reading the body language of everyone else he was literally the only real choice.

 

I really don't think Sarah is that bad. I think even the most well-adjusted, sane women would have trouble being surrounded by the over confident bimbos that generally populate Bachelor shows. She's just not a good fit for this atmosphere.

 

 

I agree - this is my take on Sarah too.  I think she is kind of hard on herself yeah, and she does not really believe in her heart that she stands a chance on this show.  But also she kind of has this "cool girl" vibe to me.  Like she does not fit in there, she seems more like she belongs here with us, people who like to snark on this show.   She's really way to cool for school in the whole Paradise atmosphere.

[Dirtybubble]

She's really way to cool for school in the whole Paradise atmosphere.

I think she might be a little too smart for this show as well.  BIP seems to reward stupidity and vanity and I can see how that can bring anyone's self esteem down.   I don't know if she realizes she's doing this but the poor me routine does get tiresome after awhile.  She's been around the Bachelor crowd enough to know how things work and as smart as she appears to be she should have foreseen this type of atmosphere.  I still like her but her relationship to Robert seems luke warm at best to me.  I kinda hope she meets a guy that will really sweep her off her feet.

[Dittohead]

Andromeda said

 

Elise was also ridiculous. I think Chris dumped her the second they got home.

 

I did some googling and found out that, yes, this couple is no longer an item.  It seems Chris has moved on to other females.

 

I have a feeling he just used Elise as a nurse/companion to help him get home and once he was settled, it was "Sayonara, Baby."  Of course, this isn't fair to her but really, she would have little problem finding true love if she could just learn to relax that stranglehold she puts on every man she meets.

 

[MsPH]

I agree that Chris looks exactly like Squidward in the face, but I think girls find him handsome the way guys find Lacey beautiful. From the neck down he is one fine broad shouldered, long legged man.

 

I actually think his legs, and especially arms, are kind of short compared to his torso. That's why he looks so awkward when running. But if you're into long muscular torsos, then he's definitely got that covered.

[Bugs Meany]

Best image makeover so far: Clare.  She's been easygoing and endearing on BiP.  I like her so much more than on TB.

 

I actually think [Chris's] legs, and especially arms, are kind of short compared to his torso. That's why he looks so awkward when running. But if you're into long muscular torsos, then he's definitely got that covered.

 

You beat me to it (although I took more notice of how short his legs look).  It was really apparent when he was walking down the steps (pre-injury).  He has the male version of Desiree Hartsock's body.

[violetr]

He seems to enjoy giving off the impression that he is so righteous and I don't do this that or the other. At least Chris B. owns his sleaziness.

 

 

This is my impression of Marquel as well, and why I no longer like him. Ever since he trotted out his "faith" on The Men Tell All as some sort of indication that he's an upstanding citizen I've been wary. Go away, Judgey McJudgment Pants.

 

This girl should have bucketloads of confidence and exhibiting same (by being poised, quiet, demure, etc.) would have the guys queued up outside her door and down the street.

 

 

While I absolutely agree that clinginess and desperation are very repellent qualities in either gender, I'm not sure why she should be confident just because she's pretty. Also, are "quiet" and "demure" what modern men are looking for these days? If so, I'm so very glad I'm off the market.