ramble

I would like, just once, for a celebrity couple to put out an announcement that they broke up and that be the whole announcement. If questioned further, they can tell the press to make up anything they want, because that’s what usually happens anyway. Aa far as dumb celebrity baby names, in the past year I’ve met two young children named Shady. I think I’d rather go by Apple or Saint before shady. But I’m old so maybe shady means something new rather than sneaky or dishonest.

Amanda, out of the whole Bach crew, strikes me as one of the most willing to sell anything and everything for a moment of “fame,” and with that group that says a lot. I feel sorry for her girls who have never known anything other than being used as props for their mom’s social media influencer goals. I can see her trying to get back on a Bach show when they resume just to reup her name recognition in that crowd. Ick.

I’ve always been meh about Connie Britton but she has now moved from meh to all out boring blah. What a waste of her return and what a crock of crap she tried to sell to Buck. You could have picked up a phone woman. I didn’t dislike this episode it just felt... I don’t know... oddly uneventful. Although the beagle in the booties was fantastic!

That moment really got to me too. The way they all calmly and stoically walked in as the chaos was winding down, pulled up a chair and got to work was a quietly profound moment in my opinion. Yes this show is unrealistic and often uneven but it somehow works for me. It’s one of only a couple I bother with during lock down. I find myself rewatching comfort food tv or just skipping screen time instead but 911 and The Rookie I still check out.

I almost always find ScreenRant’s Pitch Meetings on YouTube funny. This one was also slightly sad because of references to the mistreatment of animals and the nasty nature of the people involved. It did reinforce my complete non-interest in watching. Side note: if you’ve never watched Pitch Meetings it is a rabbit hole that can suck you in for an enjoyable few hours.

Reading through posts it struck me that my old is showing. The thought of driving Brandon around when he and Taylor obviously are not only doomed but don’t like each other is beyond me! As a younger woman maybe I would have. Maybe I would have wanted to look good on tv, or maybe I would have had hope, or maybe he could have sweet talked me. But today’s me? No way! I’ve found the older I get the less I put up with things I find wrong or dislike or just am uninterested in and the easier it is not to care what people think. It’s oddly freeing. On a personal note, not diagnosing anyone on the show, I was in a relationship with a charismatic psychopath for a few years. He makes Michael and Zach look like t-ball players lost in the majors. His lies were complicated and multi layered and he had no trouble keeping everything straight. I’m sure it helps that he is brilliant, has great recall and is incredibly polished and charming. These liars are just bad at it. I think both Zach and Michael probably believe they’re good at deception and, especially in Zach’s case, think their charm covers a multitude of sins. Ehh, no. My personal hell on earth man had manipulated his psychiatrist so completely she threatened me for being abusive and cruel to him. (He saw her to sell his damaged childhood story but mainly for various drugs that he charmed out of her depending on his mood. He took some recreationally and sold some. Mainly he just enjoyed manipulating her like he does everyone.) He can charm and fool so easily. Once I finally became aware of the truth of it all watching him do so was horrifyingly fascinating. It was easy for him. Scarily easy. These guys can’t even keep their lies straight for a conversation. And now that I’ve blithered on for awhile I’m not even sure what my point is other than Michael and Zach suck and suck at the lying. And if I’m going to mention sucking I should mention Katie. She sucks joy and fun out of everything.

Go Meka! I don’t know how she’s put up with his lying craziness for this long. Repetitive and random lying is not a red flag it’s a huge honking red eighteen wheeler barreling down on you. He’s also a bad liar which is pathetic. If you’re going to be a liar at least learn your freaking trade and figure out how to do it. Michael is a loser liar. Meka needs to run away from him Mindy. Sigh. I want to be glad for her but I find her exhausting. Zach told her almost immediately he wasn’t attracted and then repeated it several times. She does seem to stay calm and even keeled. I wonder if she was more passionately emotional it would’ve made a difference? Nah, probably not. And Zach falls into the loser category too. He wants to be slick and sell that he’s cool and clever but his word salad mix of bumbling excuses and half truths just don’t cut it. If you’re going to be a sneaky butt learn that trade too. Dang the crap men are bad at their crap this season. Katie sucks. I’d say a lot more but I think I’d end up being mean. Really, really mean. I can’t stand her. Whiny baby girl child. If she’s this much of a drag about dreams now can you imagine in a few years? Ugh. What a bore. Derek deserves better. By a long, wide mile. I think Austin and Jess are this season’s non-drama couple and the producers are having to drum up something to show on air. Enter the love conversation. I have hope for them. Screamy guy and bad wig (their names have escaped me) are boring. They are doomed. We all know it. I don’t care about them. The dog is pretty though. But c’mon he can do better than screamy guy as a hump date.

Michael: I teach yoga three days a week. Correction, I teach yoga three days a month. Correction, I taught yoga three times at home to myself. Correction, I’ve watched a yoga video three times. Correction, I’ve said the word yoga three times today.

I think Michael is a shady liar and has been lying since he lied about demanding sex on the airplane. I don’t care if Meka shrieks like a crazy crow-headed woman with her wings on fire. He is a liar. And he seems surprised that he gets caught. So he’s a bad liar as well. And yes his code word for sex is vulnerable. Meka should dump his lying butt. Katie's high self esteem might be admirable if she wasn’t so smug and condescending. Woo me. Dominate me. Prove your worth. Shut up girl who is still hung up on her f**k buddy. I think Taylor is an idiot and was matched well with another idiot. However I think Brandon showed his idiotness more openly and often and something about him seems fishy but I don’t know precisely what it is. They both need to sit down and shut up. Zach and Mindy are uncomfortable to watch. Yes he’s being a jerk but I think she’s being stupid. Why won’t she let it go? He has been pretty clear. She’s not unattractive I wish she’d just let him go. Austin and Jessica are this year’s winner so far. I hope they make it! Go team!

I haven’t watched the original recipe shows with any regularity for some time. I’ve caught an episode or two here and there, but I’ve only watched all of BIP and WG these past few years. I am all in for a Clare season! I’ve had a soft spot for her for awhile. Like many of you, I like the idea of a slightly older demographic, possibly less social influencer wannabes, and someone who may seriously want a partner. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve been so excited about the Bachelor franchise. Go Clare!

So those two broke up? Not surprised. They both felt off to me and their off-ness was not an entertaining reality TV kind. I found them boring. So excuse me while I laugh at their misfortune from my snarky seat of solitude. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Oops, sorry. I shouldn’t laugh so loudly at their journey of tru lurve coming to an end. hahahahahahahaha.

Derek, you dummy, if someone breaks in your house don’t ever point a gun at them unless you’re prepared to use it. A fake gun is asking for a problem, like a quick death. And speaking of dumb... I’m surprised Katie didn’t try a “surprise” pregnancy with the hook up dude she’s hung up on. I think Brandon is high half the time or on something stronger. His ups and downs feel right on the edge of violence and he makes me nervous. I will give him the air purifier though. I’ve had one for years. I got it when I moved in a house that had just been painted and the fumes were bugging me. Now the sound of it is the perfect white noise and it helps with the pollen that can wipe me out seasonally. I feel for Mindy/Mandy but at a certain point I think she needs to quit asking, hoping, trying or even wondering if Zach is attracted to her. He isn’t. He’s made that clear. Just call it or decide to fake it until the money is gone but quit reaching for what is not there. Zach, trying to be hot without the shirt, yet cool and caring with his loving dog dad ways, won’t work when you speak in circles that meander away from each other until they form a tangled knot of non-words. Meka makes me crazy but I think Michael is a lying liar. If he had sat next to me and flat out called me a liar I would have told him to shove it and that I was out. I don’t know what it is with him but he dug his hole and refused the rope Cal threw down to help him out. I have hope for Austin and Jess. It isn’t a huge amount because this show has a poor track record, but they are the only ones I can see standing a chance. I know these are Real! Binding! Marriages! but sticking the couples in long-term stay, generic no-tels doesn’t lend a feeling of permanence to these (mostly) doomed unions.

Oops! My bad.

I’m quoting myself (how vain!) but since a couple of folks quoted this I thought I’d add my additional two cents, which I guess makes this my four cents. I know that Mindy is only two years older than Zach. I’m not pointing out the age difference as a big deal to me, I’ve dated guys multiple years younger than me. However, personally I think she looks more than two years older than he is, and I think that type of thing matters to Zach. He has a skin care regimen, a hair care regimen, he is a personal trainer and obviously has a personal workout regimen, he is hyper aware of looks and a person’s physical attributes. Mindy is not unattractive but I think they play in different leagues. If he wasn’t so focused on the physical maybe things would be different. Although I agree with the posters who have mentioned her personality doesn’t seem to appeal to him either. I wish she’d grow some confidence because I think that would make her more attractive regardless of what the hair king thinks. I will add this caveat: since we’re past episode two and the glow of romantic hope is gone - I’m firmly established at the shallow table. Snarking on Mindy’s older than her age face, Michael’s nasty pube beard, or Katie’s granny panty diaper swimsuit are what I’m here for. Y’all that have mentioned Brandon seeming to act like he was tricked into being on this show have hit on a great point. Reality TV is not the place to be if you’re intensely private because avoiding the camera makes for boring TV. Of course being an insufferable jack ass makes for entertaining TV so he’s got that going for him. Or at least we do.

Oh my gosh! Mindy he’s just not that into you. You’re older than he is and I think you look it. You aren’t his type physically and maybe personality wise as well. He’s uninterested enough he doesn’t even hear you when you speak to him while standing right next to him. Don’t buy the bunk the phone-in “experts” tell you. It’s their job to sell the marriage, er I mean support the marriage. Brandon is a baby man. He looks like a grown up but he operates on toddler tantrum level a lot of the time. He seems like he would be thoroughly exhausting to be around. Katie is not the most attractive gal. Bless her heart. I feel like Derek is selling it hard. Maybe even to himself. Michael and Meka are doomed. They are both gritting their teeth and trying, or pretending to try, but I don’t believe they like each other at all. Even with the sibling vibe Austin and Jess seem the most at ease and as though they’re being real with each other. I’m crossing my fingers for them. Is “you’re my best friend” the new catch phrase of MAFS?