The Evil One

The holidays really derailed my trash TV viewing. Danielle is ridiculous beyond words. She needs to check her birth certificate. Also? Terrible human being.

And am I the only one who thought a celebratory engagement dinner would include the fiance?

Tre is, and always has been, ridiculous. She has always been overly involved and overly attached to Joeeeeeey. Jackie is LIFE. Now, i would understand if Tre was upset about someone speaking about family secrets out of turn in company. I'm from an Irish Catholic family - we are all about keeping things on the DL. But Tre and Juicy's stints in prison are not just reality TV, but a matter of federal and state record. Jackie is not airing any "dirty secrets" so Tre needs to back up about family loyalty. What is Melissa supposed to do? Tell Jackie to act like an ignorant ass who never sees a newspaper or website? Futhermore, it is becoming harder and harder to watch because most of the plastic surgery and tanning is SO bad. Tre, Delores, Danielle, Paramus Princess and Marge look terrrrible for their ages. Their suitcases looked less leathery.

Leida is a terrible human being. She has zero empathy. I mean, she picked a loser, but I am sick of hearing of her great life and promising medical career at home. Was it not two episodes ago when she said she came here to advance her medical degree? Pick a lane, princess. I hope she is not gunning for a career in pediatrics, since her love of children is so clearly documented. The only place her bedside manner is appropriate is a morgue. Can we throw Fernanda and the Jamaican guy together and then pair Jon and Trashley together? Nothing cracked me up more than Coltee looking for flights to Brazil - the entire country. Like he was just willing to get the cheapeat flight to get her over the border. Run. Olga. Run. I can't believe i forgot about the Fake Kardashian-sized elephant in the room. Kalani, She Who Is So Unsure, the number one way to not get knocked up by a guy who barely veil your contempt for...keep his P out of your V. Especially if he won't wear a Slut Sock.

This used to be one of my favorite franchises - so delightfully tacky and unaware - but it is now saddled with Has Been's and Never Was's. It is the "Tre" Vanity and Court Reparation Project. The only thing that is making it somewhat watchable is that someone like Jackie is not afraid to go toe-to-toe with Teresa. She speaks truth to imbeciles.

Jennifer is odious. I can't wait to see her New Money Tackfest and meet her beastly children next week. Maybe Milania will find someone to outbeast her. Other New Housewife is a hoot. She reminds of the blonde actress that used to be on Army Wives. (Yes, i am too lazy to run an IMDB search). Teresa is on a Sob Story Redemption Tour. No way for the convicted felon of the family to prop herself up but tear someone else down. Gee, somehow when she was in prison, Joe and Melissa did a fine job of looking after all of the Juicy's. Especially since Juicy Joe had no license. But now, when she needs to polish her halo, he's a slacker? Give me a break.

I am of the Etan Patz era and NY area, so while I don't think it's the genesis of today's real helicopter parenting, it certainly caused genuine fear. I think it was the advent of Stranger Danger, Kidnapper Van fears (at least where I lived), especially since the Adam Walsh tragedy was just 18 months or so behind. As for the conviction, it has always made me a little uneasy. I got plenty of local coverage, but only the jury knows the real evidence they got to see. From the outside, it seems a question of whether the confession was one of a troubled conscience or a troubled mind. In any case, the poor Patz family has lived with this for 30+ years, never moved and have never gottten Etan back. They never even got to give their boy a proper burial. So heart wrenching,

In an episode where so much was a downer, this was very cute. I loved Aubree saying "can I get a little help here?" She's adorable. Kail is such a killjoy. She and Javi seem to bring out the worst in each other. He texts, then she gets annoyed and doesn't respond which just exacerbates the situation. There's part of me that thinks she does it on purpose. The "Javi is possessive" narrative has already been established, so she ignores him knowing it will only make him worse so she can turn and say "do you see what I have to deal with?" She has zero interest in being married. I completely agree with the sentiment that they have very different expectations in their relationship. Maybe Javi is a total stage five clinger, but would it kill Kail to text "on a tour right now, I will call you at X time." She seems like she wants a vacation from her life. I didn't think it was possible to dislike Jenelle any more than I already do, but each week she finds way to plumb new depths. Saying she would purposely keep Jace from Barb to get even was just disgusting. She's so selfish and immature and that statement shows why she shouldn't get custody. She does not have that kid's best interest at heart. When Nips makes a valid point, I have to shake my head (and wonder what he was on, or if he was cycling off the roids that week). Finally, poor Corey. That guy is trying his damnedest to best by his kids. I feel for him. Leah is crazy paranoid about Corey "breathing down her neck" and all he is doing is being the one person not turning a blind eye and enabling her. Those girlses need to be in a stable home and Casa Pillhead is not it.

I had watched the episode and then after reading all of your comments, I re-watched. Man, I am hopelessly naive because I missed Leah's late night antics possibly being because of a drug deal. Of course, I couldn't fathom why she would wake her kids up when they were out like that, nor could I understand why such a late night handoff of the kids. All I kept thinking (the first time watching) that given how concerned Corey seems about the girls, I'm sure if the drop off was late for some reason, he'd have bathed and fed them! Thank you all for filling in the gap! I've also appreciated the many insights about Kail - the drive time where Javi or she goes to pick up Isaac from Jo's gives her free time, or being jealous of her children having fathers - all things I hadn't thought of. I do get the strong sense that she is so easy to call it quits with Javi because there is someone waiting in the wings. While I agree that you can't stay in a bad situation just for the sake of the children, she doesn't seem interested or willing to try. Her mind is made up. It comes off as very cavalier and if she maintains that attitude, Isaac and Lincoln (and any subsequent babies) seem destined for a life of unstable homes. Jenelle. Nathan. They are both baseline very troubled individuals who bring out the absolute worst in eachother. But they are both immature and deluded enough to think these awful, over the top, screaming fights means they are so in love. The words "no one understands us and our love" must be emblazoned on their family crest. Chelsea continues to amaze me by being the person I hate the least and root for the most. The baby talk still bugs, but she is a good mom. I thought the scene where Aubree came out and asked for water and Chelsea had already done it and said something like "I got you covered, girl" was very cute. Chelsea just seems very attuned to her child, which is part of what made that last scene so heartbreaking. I wanted to reach through the screen and choke Adam when he was questioning Aubree/making promises. When the visit to his house can't happen, he will break out that "go ask your mother about that" line again to poor Aubree and put that kid in the middle. He screwed up and he needs to own the fact that he put himself in a situation where supervised visits are needed. He thinks he's punishing Chelsea when he talks like that, but it's Aubree that he is hurting.

I thought it was a really good episode and I have to give credit to the RHONYC editing team for finding, what I found to be, the right balance in the episode. I liked that they let London play out in what felt like a natural (,for reality tv) way, without jerking back to NYC too much or in an artificial way. Giving equal air time to Ramona's horndog ways and Carole picking up the ashes would have felt tacky to me. I felt like they struck the right balance between the weightier London themes and bits of levity with the usual HW's antics back in NY. I agree with what so many have said about the conversation between Carole and Dorinda - it was a very revealing, heartfelt and genuine conversation. I've been all over the place about my opinion of Dorinda this season, but I liked a lot of the Dorinda I saw this episode. I haven't read Carole's open letter, but thank those of you who pointed it out, because I'm going to go check it out. I actually haven't read any of her writing (memoir or novel) but am thinking that maybe I will add it my reading list.

While I can't stand Brooks, I felt awful for Vicki that he couldn't attend the funeral. As a sibling who has hated a Brooksian-terrible boyfriend, there's a part of me that feels like they should have thought of what Vicki needed then. What's Brooks going to do? Ruin the fond memories of their mother's funeral? It's a horrible, dumpster fire day of your life, what's throwing a little emotional support to your sister in the way of Brooks? Meghan's whole plot line made me deeply uncomfortable. Exploiting the impending death of your stepdaughter's mother for airtime? The saddest thing is that Meghan thinks she can throw things to fill the impending void: yoga! Party suites! Photographers! Finally, Jim. As dippy as Meghan is, the comment about missing the sunset pissed me off. She hired a photographer, the most basic of which would have told her the best time to take pictures, which would have been the golden hour (the hour before the sun sets). It's when you get the best light, no matter where you are. My bet is that the girls took too long to get ready and they lost most of the light.

For me, part of the reason this season has been so unmemorable is that, whether it's Kaitlyn, editing, or all of the best footage of decent conversations is on all that off-camera time, to invoke the words of Ian, it's all very "surface level." The Bachelor(ette) has somewhat of a formula. In advance of hometowns, they talk about who she will meet on hometowns (if the family aspect hasn't been covered already). Going into Shawn's date, I had no idea anything about his family. We, as viewers, never got to hear about how close he is with his sisters, what the story with his mom is (he referred to his sisters acting like mothers to him, not "second mothers"), or what this great one love of his life was, in advance of the hometown. So I feel like I know nothing about why she would like Shawn. I'd trade some of that footage for the umpteenth bitch fight with Nick. There have also been zero conversations about how their long distance relationships can work. This is straight from the Bachelor Playbook. Did no one pack it and bring it to Ireland? I may be a total cynic and have watched way too many episodes of unReal, but during Ben's date and exit, all I could think was that some producer pulled him aside and said, "Ben, we both know you have no shot at this, but sell how much you are into her and make a classy exit, and you're the next Bachelor." When he opened up the "from the moment I stepped out of the limo" speech, I felt like I was at the Bachelor pageant. Smile and wave, Ben. Smile and wave.

I'll reserve judgment on Cole, but my first impression is that he seems nice and I personally did not get a creepy vibe. Given how long it has been since last season, it's hard to tell when Chelsea introduced him into Aubree's life. At the time of filming she said they had been dating "several months" and while that is a whole lot of vague, I'd like to think Chelsea waited a while to introduce a man into her daughter's life. The ladies are turning 23 or so and this is the first guy we've seen, so to me, it seems like he's important, compared to how some of the other young ladies have perhaps been a bit more cavalier in introducing love interests. Listening to Chelsea talk makes me think she is a total dip about 90% of the time, but her behavior in protecting and caring for her daughter has been pretty great. Maybe Randy whispers in her ear every day. I do, however, agree that I would cringe and shake my head at her at every reunion special when she would admit that she had hooked up with Adam. I won't score that to terrible taste in men. I think she got sucked in by the deluded notion that if he wanted her, in any way, they'd finally be a family. It's sad really and this new relationship makes me hopeful that she is over that and has finally moved on. Sometimes it's hard to realize that you deserve better until you actually get better, and then you finally realize you never should have clung so hard to something dysfunctional, for no other reason than it was "something." I may be assigning way too much emotional depth to a woman who baby talks, but I feel like Chelsea got her first taste of what a good relationship looks and feels like, and rolls her eyes at Adam. And despite Adam's sighs of relief that she has moved on, I kind of feel like he is jealous. I don't think he wants her back, but I always thought he enjoyed how much Chelsea pined for him. Hooking up with her, disappearing. She was his beck and call girl and I think his ego loved knowing that no matter what he did, Chelsea was always there. I, personally, think he loved the power in that dynamic.

That whole situation between Kail and Javi was so uncomfortable to watch. Whether Javi is just ragingly insecure or there is a deeper history there, Kail was right about one thing: if they don't have trust, their marriage is screwed. I just feel bad for their kids - and their house guests! How awkward! The highlights of Leah's scenes for me were giving her subtitles during her dinner with Germy because between the accent and being zonked out on whatever she is taking, she was hard to understand. The second was her talking to her friend about what a good mother she is and hearing a series of bangs in the background. Um, perhaps you should go check on Adderall? Jennelle. I can't even. Poor Jace. I actually fear for Kaiser's safety. There is no way those two knuckleheads should be allowed to take care of a baby unsupervised. I don't know how Barb hasn't killed her. If I talked to my mother that way I don't think I'd be breathing. If Jennelle is regularly seeing/taking Jace on the weekends, then duh, of course Barb will now have to make other plans for him if they are gone an entire week. Jennelle is just so self-centered. Lastly, Chelsea. The baby voice will never not be annoying, but it's nice to see her so happy and with a nice, Randy-approved guy. And what a little cutie Cole is! Such an upgrade from Adam. She's a good mom and admire how she and Randy are very careful not to bad mouth Adam in front of Aubree.

Ramona is very rude. If I saw two girlfriends having a conversation with a man I found attractive, I'd enter the conversation like, "Bethenny, Carole, introduce me to your friend." It wasn't the flirting they cared about, it was being completely ignored. Had Ramona joined the conversation naturally, I'm pretty sure Bethenny and Carole would have picked up rather quickly that Ramona was getting her flirt on and politely excused themselves. Ramona just went about it the rudest possible way. The entitlement also bugs and Bethenny was right about it. The way she talked to hotel staff was irritating. She just barks orders. Contrast that to Heather, who I noticed when she got to the hotel was saying hi to everybody in a very warm way. Dorinda and hard alcohol clearly do not mix. Kristin's dress at dinner was stunning. She may just be there making faces, but her wardrobe this trip has made me envious quite a few times.