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S14.E11: Hot Mess Express


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While Tamra and Brown Betty were playing lipstick lesbians, Emily was acting like a very angry, jilted lover over Gina. That woman is going to snap one of these days. Gina better get a restraining order. And was it Emily who was drinking out of the bottle? She was pretty shitfaced. 

I felt pretty embarrassed watching this. They outdid themselves. I hope these assholes weren’t in Key West during fantasy fest. You know Tamra would have her boobs painted as cantaloupe halves, Braunschweiger would have hers painted as baseballs, and I guess the rest of the flying monkeys would keep their shirts on, but get drunk and stupider. 

Im sorry Gramra, but you’re at the age where a drunken fall could result in a broken hip. What a bunch of skeezers. 

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2 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

While Tamra and Brown Betty were playing lipstick lesbians, Emily was acting like a very angry, jilted lover over Gina. That woman is going to snap one of these days. Gina better get a restraining order. And was it Emily who was drinking out of the bottle? She was pretty shitfaced. 

I felt pretty embarrassed watching this. They outdid themselves. I hope these assholes weren’t in Key West during fantasy fest. You know Tamra would have her boobs painted as cantaloupe halves, Braunschweiger would have hers painted as baseballs, and I guess the rest of the flying monkeys would keep their shirts on, but get drunk and stupider. 

Im sorry Gramra, but you’re at the age where a drunken fall could result in a broken hip. What a bunch of skeezers. 

Fantasy fest starts here next week lol they weren’t here for that thank god 

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I have a headache listening to all the screaming on this shit show.

I would have gone berzerk if I had to listen to that freaken whistle if I was on a train or in a restaurant.

I don't care about Gina or Emily so I don't care about the date fight.

Shannon:  It's Gina and 'me' not Gina and 'I'.

No wonder Vickie was demoted.  The woman who visited her son at college and made a fool of herself in front of her son's friends is now a prude.  Kelly is right on that one.

Braun's laugh is  so grating.

Tamra and Braun:  Get a room.

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Braunwynn is so annoying. She’s obviously sucking up the Tamra thinking it will keep her on the show. It’s lame and annoying to watch. She’s just so over the top. Not a fan.

Rolling around on the ground was embarrassing to watch. Vicki and Shannon just threw themselves down there too to seem cool. Nothing hilarious about a bunch of screaming banshees falling to the floor.

Of course Shannon’s daughter wants to be a model lol.

Vicki trying to act all outraged was pretty funny. She’s cancer scamming con artist Vicki. Get the fuck out of here.

Kelly cracks me up. I like her on the show.

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7 minutes ago, Marley said:

Vicki trying to act all outraged was pretty funny. She’s cancer scamming con artist Vicki. Get the fuck out of here.

I was wondering how many 12 year olds Vicki has seen dirty dancing. 

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1 hour ago, Keywestclubkid said:

When Andy first pitched this show about affluent housewives behind private gates in large mansions did he ever think it devolve into middle age/60 year old women rolling around drunk at bars with their tits out while making out with each other? What the fuck happened to this show?

Evolution.

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Tamra: hold your head up high, don't run away!

Also Tamra..

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Emily is way too thin skinned and emotional to be on this show.

The bachelorette items were just gross - i was over it as a 30 year old can't imagine how tired it would feel in my 50s.

Gina is too boring and sullen.

Edited by ladypoodle
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Tamra was on WWHL with LeeAnn Locken and apparently she flashed the audience.

They also told some weird story about being related, and, they found out after their tongues touched. I wasn’t paying enough attention to get the whole story but sounded like they have a kissing history, too.  Meemaw T making the granddaughter proud tonight.

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I have no reason to think this, but I still think that Shane knew his cousin had a girlfriend and let Emily set Gina up with him anyway just to make Emily and Gina fight. I don't think he really likes Gina and only tolerates her because of Emily. But Emily is so co-dependent. Like Gina said, she can be mad at Emily for awhile and not want to end the friendship. I'm also a person who likes my space when I'm angry. But unless you have done something that really hurt me, I'll get over it in a few days.

Braunwyn seems way more into Tamra than she is into her husband. LoL.

Vicki, you showed your tits in public (thank you producers reminding us how trashy Vicki can be), yet you have the nerve to call someone else trashy. GTFOH. With the exception of the making out part, she was Braunwyn with Tamra for many years.

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1 hour ago, Bronzedog said:

Meghan’s presence was completely insignificant.  What was the point?

I'm assuming because she was invited because she's still close to Shannon and Tamra. I don't see why a former member of the cast has to cause drama just to be invited on a cast trip.

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Just when I thought I’ve heard it all, now I’ve gotten to hear Shannon Beador shriek “I don’t want any snatch.” All this gutter of a season needs is a guest appearance by Brandi Glanville.

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Quote

I have no reason to think this, but I still think that Shane knew his cousin had a girlfriend and let Emily set Gina up with him anyway just to make Emily and Gina fight. I don't think he really likes Gina and only tolerates her because of Emily. But Emily is so co-dependent. Like Gina said, she can be mad at Emily for awhile and not want to end the friendship.

Yeah but this is Gina...she's looking for any reason to be mad at Emily.

Quote

All this gutter of a season needs is a guest appearance by Brandi Glanville.

Never thought I'd say this about Brandi, but she would probably bring some class to the show at this point.

Edited by Hiyo
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10 hours ago, Emmeline said:

Why do these women think it’s funny to claim that they will only do a b-jay for a handbag?

Because, men love them! My husband gets goofy and writes me huge checks...afterwards!

It is super weird.....and, I don’t ask him for money.....but, he becomes like super-super generous.  🤣

(No, I don’t spend the money on handbags.  I have like a million passion projects I support).

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6 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Yeah but this is Gina...she's looking for any reason to be mad at Emily.

I felt bad for Meghan to have gotten pulled into that mess. Emily & Gina's issue with each other was pretty insignificant compared to what Meghan has gone through this past year in her personal life.  Hat's off to Meghan for showing up with a smile on her face and for not adding to the drama.  She just needed a night out and these banshees couldn't stop screaming.   It truly was a hot mess.

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Everybody now...together in unity:

FUCK YOU GINA!

Well THAT felt better than I expected! 
Hah!...and once again...thank you to the commenter who started/coined the phrase...and “pressed the repeat button”...😂

Oh...and another thing...that “pile on” at the restaurant was so effing stupid and thirsty...

I still haven’t brought myself to finish watching the episode...I’ve tuned out these attention whores in my brain.

Lastly.  Vicki at dinner table...trying to be “cute” with her “bobble head” move...wiping her mouth and cheeks...feigning her disapproval of the kissing...

she must have thought the camera would love that...

umm...NO VICKI...you were in the “wide shot”...You say “I’m ready for my close up”...Yeah..hmm...NO! Be gone! NOBODY THINKS YOU’RE CUTE ANYMORE!

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9 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

While Tamra and Brown Betty were playing lipstick lesbians, Emily was acting like a very angry, jilted lover over Gina. That woman is going to snap one of these days. Gina better get a restraining order. And was it Emily who was drinking out of the bottle? She was pretty shitfaced. 

Couldn't agree more.  The dynamic between Emily and Gina is classic jilted/obsessed lover and disinterested bystander. Gina picks up on it and wants to get away even more.

Emily of course is dealing with numerous issues (obesity, health, an emotionally and verbally hostile spouse, demanding children, etc.) and so is under a lot of pressure. But perhaps there is a pattern at work here in her strong attraction to emotionally distant partners and her total unwillingness to understand the negative impact of this tendency on her own physical and mental well being and address it constructively.

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9 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

Tamra was on WWHL with LeeAnn Locken and apparently she flashed the audience.

A caller asked Tamra if she would quit the show if it meant a relationship with her estranged daughter. Tamra said yes immediately...sure Jan!

I saw a snippet of last year's reunion yesterday. It was like a Gina hate booster shot that I didn't need.

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2 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Except she was blaming it all on Braunwyn. As if her BFF Tamballs hasn't been a crass asshole from day one. 

I've never cottoned to the idea that it's not cheating if a girl messes with another girl. How? Why? I wouldn't be okay with it. Eddie always seems so nice and reasonable. I cannot fathom what he sees in Tamra. 

Excellent point!  Tamra was just as disgusting as Braunwyn.  

I have to disagree with everyone about Vicki last night.  While I don't like her, and I do think she is a camera-hungry attention whore, I think that last night she was disgusted with what she saw.  

Vicki has displayed homophobic behaviors in the past (and made some very homophobic comments during reunions, etc.), and I think that she was really grossed out by Tamra and Braunwyn's actions.  Vicki is a enigma - she talks a lot about sex and her "love tank", etc., etc., but I think that she is basically an unaccepting prude when it comes to anything other than conventional sex with a someone of the opposite gender.  

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I fell asleep last night just as the were on the train and licking and sucking on dildos YUK! After reading this forum I won't go back and watch these screeching women making fools of themselves. I bet a group of 14 year old girls on a train ride  would behave better. I have one question. Do normal women sit around with their teenage daughters and sons and discuss giving blowjobs and having threesomes? How about with their kid's friends? How about taking theit clothes off and making out with another woman or man in front of a group? If not then why is it OK to talk this way and do these things on a TV show for the entire country to watch including their children and their children's friends?  I am convinced these women are high as kites to behave this way. If I ever did or said 1/2 of what these women do and say in front of my kids they would have moved out and changed their names. Reality TV has sunk to new depths with these bimbos.

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5 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

I fell asleep last night just as the were on the train and licking and sucking on dildos YUK! After reading this forum I won't go back and watch these screeching women making fools of themselves. I bet a group of 14 year old girls on a train ride  would behave better. I have one question. Do normal women sit around with their teenage daughters and sons and discuss giving blowjobs and having threesomes? How about with their kid's friends? How about taking theit clothes off and making out with another woman or man in front of a group? If not then why is it OK to talk this way and do these things on a TV show for the entire country to watch including their children and their children's friends?  I am convinced these women are high as kites to behave this way. If I ever did or said 1/2 of what these women do and say in front of my kids they would have moved out and changed their names. Reality TV has sunk to new depths with these bimbos.

Add to that that Tamra has claimed that she isn't really drunk in these moments that she takes shots of water to make it look more "fun" not that being drunk is an excuse but acting like this on purpose and faking being drunk for ratings and rolling around taking your breast out and acting like a girl that just turned 21 and being messy is just gross does she have no self respect? .. tamra really needs to rethink her life choices 

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No doubt that Tamra has already serviced Braunwyn. I don't think Eddie really cares. Seems like he isn't all that interested in Tamra anymore and is probably happy when she's out of his way.

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9 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

Why did no one break Shannon’s damn whistle?

Right? Typically I love Shannon; but you walk into a bar/restaurant I'M in blowing that damn whistle? I'm gonna lose my shit on you. 

51 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

Excellent point!  Tamra was just as disgusting as Braunwyn.  

I have to disagree with everyone about Vicki last night.  While I don't like her, and I do think she is a camera-hungry attention whore, I think that last night she was disgusted with what she saw.  

Vicki has displayed homophobic behaviors in the past (and made some very homophobic comments during reunions, etc.), and I think that she was really grossed out by Tamra and Braunwyn's actions.  Vicki is a enigma - she talks a lot about sex and her "love tank", etc., etc., but I think that she is basically an unaccepting prude when it comes to anything other than conventional sex with a someone of the opposite gender.  

I think that's exactly what it was. I also think she's largely influenced by Steve, who does not seem as much of a carefree, party guy as her previous partners. He seems pretty judgmental and uptight. This is a woman who has said her boobs wanted to come out to play and flashed Terry Dubrow over the phone. But now that she's with Steve, she won't even get in the hot tub with her Tres Amigas. 

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2 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Gina seriously overshot her perceived popularity with the Oc audience this year ….. Thinking because the mean girls were now giving her the time of day she could shit on Emily and still be embraced by the general audience. lol Poor stupid useless annoying Gina … no one really liked you last season and just cause you think you got a in with the two other hags you were a shoe in this year ..No …… And it was a  fucking date you weren't getting married to this dude you were going to have dinner and see if there was a connection REALLY anyone who watches this and sees how fucking nuts you act over a first date should run to the hills when contemplating asking you out ..she is beyond needy and it showed …. If I haven't said it lately I'll say it now FUCK You Gina I hate you ..lol 

She looks like a giant praying mantis with her horrible posture!

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3 hours ago, snarts said:

They're all so damn messy and trying way too hard.  I miss the simple, innocent whoop whoop days. 

It's funny, because there was a part toward the beginning of the episode, when they were at the dockside place having drinks that I thought that this ep reminded me of season one or two, when they would dress up in tacky clothes, drink, and whoop it up a little and get a little embarrassing.  Then...the rest of the episode happened.  

14 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

There was just such an overwhelming feeling of desperate fake fun about the entire outing 

This, ironically, is what made the episode the slightest bit palatable to me.  They weren't having fun; they were doing what they thought fun looked like, and, I dunno, I guess I'm a horrible person, but the idea that this one drunken night isn't going to change the fact that they walk around as empty shells of people makes me happy.  At least...they're not boring (trying to put a positive spin on it).

12 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Acting like a girl that just turned 21 and being messy is just gross does she have no self respect? .. tamra really needs to rethink her life choices 

Yeah, I'm glad you pointed this out, because I was feeling kind of sheepish after having people say no one ever acts that way.  This episode was pretty much my behavior every time I went out from the time I was 19 until I was 25, I mean 21. 😉 (except for the candy penis thing.  I was never into candy penises).  But I would be at clubs and places where people my age hung out, and this behavior was only slightly outside the norm.  I wouldn't go into a restaurant and fall on the floor with whistles (ok, except for that one time).  And I think it's worth adding that, just cause I did it, doesn't mean it's not wrong to act this way.  I couldn't imagine acting that way now, unless there was something really wrong with me, and doubly when I'm a damned grandma.

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1 minute ago, SweetieDarling said:

How do/did these women not get thrown out of every public place they go?

I'm sure production has to clear filming at these places and they want the publicity.  At the first place, when Emily was threatening to leave and they were gathered out front - some random lady came out, took a pic with her phone and then sorta waved at Shannon.  That really cracked me up.  The editors must have hated that they couldn't document this DRAMA without that little scene playing out. 

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4 minutes ago, TexasGal said:

I'm sure production has to clear filming at these places and they want the publicity.  At the first place, when Emily was threatening to leave and they were gathered out front - some random lady came out, took a pic with her phone and then sorta waved at Shannon.  That really cracked me up.  The editors must have hated that they couldn't document this DRAMA without that little scene playing out. 

^^this when they shoot down here they have to get clearance.... that's the problem the Real World had when they had a house here a lot of the bars wouldn't give them clearance to shoot in the bars because of the behavior …. two of the gay bars here flat out refused to let them film in them because they wanted to "stage" some fights and they didn't want that....  

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I'm gearing up to get no likes, because I thought Emily and Gina were both wrong, with Gina taking at least 70% of the blame.

Tamra said this, but I have to second it:  Gina is making a bigger deal out of a stranger having a girlfriend than her husband having a girlfriend.  That's just weird.  

At the table, Vicki, Tamra and Braunwynn were stirring the issue, so they get 10% of the blame.

At the same time, why does Emily get so heated?  She gets so physical (not like putting her hands on people, but more like lurching forward with the body) and emotional, that it's getting more and more difficult for me to believe she's a practicing attorney.  I think a lawyer would have been more like, "Gina, what is the issue?"  Gina would respond that she is upset that the cousin had a girlfriend and Emily didn't tell her, to which Emily would respond, "Ok, well, I didn't know he had a girlfriend.  I apologize about the mixup and it would probably be better for our friendship if I didn't try to set you up again."  Then Gina could have responded any way she wanted to, and she would have looked like the asshole that she is.  Emily just gets so attached to a certain outcome ("Gina and I are going to be BFFs forever") that she starts to freak people out, and they back away subconsciously. 

OMG, Gina was talking with a southern accent at one point when she was in the bathroom with Meghan.  That would be her fourth accent--New York, California, Minnesota, and now...Cajun?  Well, at least she's true to herself and not trying to be anyone she's not...

On a side note, I gotta love Tamra saying that they should just make fun of the train, as if it were a rumor started by someone else.

Kelly for the best-behaved cast member this episode??????

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