LibertarianSlut

Well, at least that was subtle. For hip tension, I recommend a pigeon pose or a 90 90 pose. Both are yoga. They ease strain. Don’t strain. weak pulses need more h20 baby. Gotta hydrate, specially when you’re thirsty, like Alexis. Gulp that water, Mama Alexis. some of the Housewives, I like, because they’re direct and cool, like Emily at times. mocking? Nah, I just point out that Heather has a raging underbite, and internet searches tend to be a thing. short answers only: I don’t tend to dig passive aggression, and I respond accordingly, like Gina, the CPG. 🍫 🍭 🍬 My fellow posters, I heart you so much for knowing that Candy Perfume Girl song. I used to listen to it in high school. I’m from the same place and the same age as Gina. But I’m better at everything. Take a chance on me, per Abba. 🐸 hmm, I wonder who the next fifty-something bored Housewife will be who comes for Jen. And I notice this happens a lot in my life—someone like Tamra tries to goad me into a fight and they have no idea what they’re starting. 💋 😑I’m sorry, were there additional questions? Probe me. I kinda like it. 🫶👄💃🏼I feel like Vicki should be back. She’s fun. I like fun people, but I can handle all sorts. There’s the door Shannon Beador. Shakespeare is turning over in his grave. ✍🏻Got more to say! Next week.

Whoo baby, you did an internet search on your own! Such an apt song too. Nice job! 👍 👍

Oh, hey there, you’re welcome. I hope nothing I said vexed you too much. Short answer? CPG is self-explanatory from the paragraph I wrote. LIV is right there on the internet. What other questions ya got? You seem like a really fun person. Gina is ok? Whoa. Wow. Great! 😀 Emily needs to stop with the fake tears? I know! She is like a monster. She is so fucking cool. I want to be Emily one day, and just let out my thoughts about how shitty I think people are. And then she came to the reunion saying she loved Heather last season—what fun! Gina is such a fun CPG. 💋 I am almost afraid to post…almost 😂 Yet I conquer the fear and propel myself forward. It’s so ballsy. 😮‍💨

Wow, I leaned how to quote on this darn thing—sweet! Can someone DM or PM me or some mod or someone tell me how to change my picture? I want to put my real picture up like this is Facebook, but I don’t know how…thanks guys. 😁 LIV is simply the best golf league on the face of the earth—it’s got Phil Mickelson, Brooks Koepka, Bryson DeChambeau, and a bunch of other major champions playing there, not the PGA!! The PGA is hot garbage. Didn’t hear about LIV? Not surprising. That’s cause the GOLF CHANNEL—that ***********—holy shit, when did that phrase start getting censored 😅 has been taken over by NBC since 2011, and they only cover the PGA, which is disgusting to me. They are professional cover-uppers 😮 LIke Shannon, if you believe there are those videos, only 1000x worse. (I don’t care about the videos myself. We’ve all done horrendous shit when we were drunk. I have. Long hair, don’t care 💇🏼‍♀️). Katie’s husband Matt just kinda looks like a douche to me too. He’s all self-important with his glasses…eh. And am I going to have to be the asshole who says that Katie and Matt remind me of Crystal and Rob over on that horrible franchise to the north? Yup, they do. Same kinda house. Yeah, that’s it. I like Katie a lot so far, except she needs to be the beacon, not the Tamra water holder, na mean? What else? I don’t know. I barely watch the show. Gotta love that Andy tacks his half hour promo show on to the end. Nothing is going on, which is totally contrary to last season. Can we get Taylor back please? When is Emily going to go full beast? She is kind of cool that way, and when she’s normal, but this shit in between because she’s “skinny” now, like, girl, why isn’t your face getting any smaller? Man oh man, Emily thinks she’s hot shit, it’s pretty funny. @BatltimoreBetty, aren’t you glad you asked? 😂 I never miss an opportunity to talk about LIV 👍 Oh, and any die hard Madonna fans know that song Candy Perfume Girl? When did Gina become this Candy Perfume Girl? Butter won’t melt and all that shit…huh? Why? Money from the show? Cause I do not believe anyone is buying real estate from that empty shell…CPG. 🍭

Travis is Gina’s safety school. Heather, ok, yes, you hear Terry snore because you two sleep in the same bed, in the same room, in the same house, and he is schtupping no one else. Your marriage is perfect. 👍 Emily shut the fuck up. A size 12 dress called and said your 5’10” body couldn’t get through the neckline. is there anyone out there who cares about a $70k lawsuit? Like, literally anyone, even the judge? Eddie, get over Ryan. He loves you not. The answer to the Tamra/Ryan riddle is that no wants to hump that cross-eyed cabbage patch doll. Who else? Shannon, stop bothering your kid at school. Katie, get another divorce. Matt works for that ***********, the Golf Channel, which discriminates against LIV. 👎 Boo. Let’s light up this board a little, huh? ⭐️ raise the roof and shit what 🥳

I’m so fucking floored and impressed with how much Heather is helping families. So selfless, so brave. I am officially inspired to take up a cause. Alexis was a lot nicer last season when her name was Taylor. You gave me a lot to think about vis a vis Heather. For a second there, I thought she was the second coming, with all she does to enhance family values. ⬆️ very true words, indeed.

Aw, I missed you too, Stats! Look me up on Facebook, Tarah Jordan. We can talk mad crap about Heather if you want! 😅 She’s kind on turning into a jerk. Holy shit, girl, I don’t even know how to upvote anymore. Got so complicated, but I agree wholeheartedly. She is missing God in her life, which is ironic, given how much she preached in earlier seasons. Just shows that power corrupts, and fame corrupts absolutely. 😉

Alexis’s God-sized hole seems quite large…😳

This sounds like a description of Haredi Judaism, which is defined as “ultra, ultra Orthodox” (though the Haredim reject this definition, it’s the best one I can come up with that gets the point across). Modern Orthodox Jews generally look like everyone else, except the husband will probably wear a kippe. Ivanka is an Orthodox Jew. Not that this is any kind of defense of Leah’s “conversion,” which didn’t seem authentic at all, but she can technically become Orthodox without looking like she stepped off the set of Shtisel. What is more concerning to me is that her sister asked her which rabbi she is working with, and Leah replied “orthodox.” That’s not the name of a rabbi, which leads me to believe she doesn’t have one or she forgot his name, because he’s not important. If anyone remembers that terrible show VanderPump Rules, it is just like the times that Andy would ask Stassi’s boyfriend, Beau, “what do you do for a living?” And each time he’d reply “I’m in commercial casting.” That’s not a job, that’s an industry! Same with Leah—“orthodox” is not the name of a rabbi, it’s a branch of Judaism! Both people were highly suspect to me in their truth-telling to bullshit ratio. And just in anticipation of anyone saying maybe Leah didn’t want to say the rabbi’s name on film...this show has a rich history of bleeping out names. All of season four, Jill and Ramona were arguing about someone whose name was bleeped, and it drove me crazy! So, they can bleep once for Leah, or if she was afraid it wouldn’t be bleeped, she could tell Alien Eyes that she’d text her the name, but, regardless, “orthodox” isn’t an appropriate response, unless she was working with good old Rabbi Orthodox, of Lower Manhattan! We all know about him, right? 😁

I think Teresa and Dolores aren’t actually friends. I think they’re more like family members (though, JFTR, I am aware they aren’t actually family). I doubt they hang out off camera. Dolores appeared as Caroline’s friend several times before becoming a f/t cast member, and I think that’s where her loyalty lies. I think that is why, on season 7, Dolores was so inexplicably loyal to Jacqueline. Strangely enough, I can’t really remember Dolores and Teresa filming as friends. Like, have they ever gone shopping together, or had a sleepover like Dolores had with Siggy? I think outside of this whole “old school Italian” thing that Dolores never tires of lecturing about, she and Teresa don’t have much in common at all. The way they interacted with Danielle in polar opposite ways is telling, I think. Yes! And, may I add, I was at the ER with someone a year and a half ago, at a small hospital, and since I wasn’t the sick one, I was able to notice how it operated, and, since it is an emergency room, the doctors aren’t exactly doing rock, paper, scissors in the back room in order to determine who gets to attend to which patient. It is triaged—treatment is dispensed as required. I simply can’t imagine a scenario where David rushes over to the ER in his motorcycle, demands the file of Giuseppe Gorga, receives it, and then administers care for a kidney stone. What about David’s actual patients? What if one of his high risk moms-to-be went into labor? Does he then drop Giuseppe Gorga? None of it makes sense. I think it was just a shoddily constructed “David to the rescue” scene. Like, if David had a leaky roof, it would be the two Joes running to plug his roof together, complete with hijinx and hilarity ensuing, omg, I am laughing, does the fun ever stop!?! I think this thing with Gorga was partially staged, but it did a disservice to people who actually have the stones. Wasn’t the diagnosis just “live with it until it passes” or something? There are laser treatments that can break them up, just for starters. And pain medicine. I’m no expert, but it’s not something someone has to just live with, the way it seemed to be portrayed on the show, which I found irresponsible. I feel like I really need the tea on Teresa’s boyfriend! What has Louie been up to? 👏 I also think Melissa looks worse for the wear this season—I like her with long hair, but not the dark, dark color (the shorter hair makes her look so chin-ny, like a skinny Shrek)—but she is a woman over 40 and she has low body fat (fat is like nature’s collagen injections), and judging by those factors, I have to reluctantly say I think she looks great for 41—not gorgeous, not a work of art, not a supermodel—but definitely a step above ‘good.’ I think Jackie, Jennifer and Melissa are, at first glance, the best looking women on this cast, even though, as was pointed out up thread, Jennifer and Jackie have work to do (or work to abstain from) on their lips, and Jennifer needs a much less theatrical eyebrow. If this were 15 years ago, Dolores would sweep them all with her looks, I think, though I’m sure they all looked better 15 years ago (well, ‘cept Mel 😆) and Jen was a freaking show-stopper at her wedding, which is weird, because even though I find her in the top 50% of attractive women on this franchise, her looks now are nothing to write home about. Unfortunately, I think she makes poor aesthetic choices for herself on purpose, which is mind-boggling. Like, who (in this century, not the 1990s) looks in the mirror at overlined lips, lined with dark liner, contrasted with pale lipstick and says, “yes, that is! That’s the look I’m trying to achieve!”? Strange world.

I take it that since you are using the present tense, it is your assertion that these constant attacks and poor treatment are all happening to black people by the hands of other races (or “group X,” and I’m not sure who that is) in the US today (and in recent years). I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to go ahead and disagree with you, because the empirical data just don’t support it. If you are talking about black on black crime, yes that is definitely a huge problem that goes largely ignored, but it doesn’t appear from the episode that Eboni was attempting to call attention to that matter. If she had used her place on the show to call attention to black on black crime, I would support it, so long as she also had a good personality and interactions with the other women that seemed genuine, as this is reality TV and not news, after all. Since group X hasn’t been identified other than a group that is ostensibly not comprised of black people, I can’t really comment much further other than to say that I agree with Malcom X’s statement that “[Negro] problems will never be solved by the white man.” I certainly failed to agree with Eboni when she said in the episode that it is “good news” that the governor of California—a state that didn’t recognize slavery—is considering reparations. I’m not quite sure how she would begin to explain that one, and it’s doubtful to me that she thought it through. Agreement without thought is a recipe for disaster, as history has proven. Slavery comes to mind. We can also talk about Europe. As to how it works not to be fixated, I can’t prescribe for a negative, nor do I think that is necessary. There are very many American blacks who are not fixated on race who live good lives. And the way it works, I presume, is that they go about their business in going to work, raising families andworshipping God as they see fit. It’s almost condescending to an entire race to imagine that blacks would want or need this explained. I just don’t think in those terms. I just finished watching the new documentary about the economist Thomas Sowell, and Thomas Sowell lives his life by studying data, publishing, and photography. I don’t think there is a specific formula on how not to be fixated on something; people just live. I also read and own a lot of Thomas Sowell books, and he delivers the data that I would be happy to discuss in the Small Talk thread if anyone wants to have a conversation about specificracial or societal perceived ills. (It’s fruitful for me when we get specific, because general claims tend to shift meanings, and I’d rather avoid clever wordplay and instead actually reach a common understanding). I think we might find a lot more common ground than not. The genesis of almost all of my arguments lies in basic human dignity. I’m pretty sure (or at least I hope) that’s a principle under which we could unite. 🙏 I’m happy to entertain all comers in Small Talk!

Dolores, you dumb cow, lying about a doctor’s appointment is not the right thing. She can just say she is driving up later and not offer further explanation if she is such a real bitch. I have been saying for years that lying makes everyone—the liar and the person who believed the lie—look foolish. Someone who is confident rarely needs to lie, and this wasn’t one of the exceptions. Judge Judy said that if someone lies to her once, everything else they say is suspect. May I suggest that is the case with Dolores? Right or wrong, Jennifer’s mom is one of the most interesting people on the cast. A lot of the moms interest me, like Valerie. I think Melissa’s mom is more attractive than half this cast. Joe Gorga really needs to shut the fuck about Joe Giudice. It’s such a bad look. Giudice is the kids’ father, and what’s worse for Joe, is that Juicy is on foreign soil, so Joe constantly making fun of him now that he knows there can be no physical person to contend with makes him look all the more of a bitch. Joe B spent eight years renovating a room? Speaks volumes for him as a professional. Ugh, Margaret’s book cover concept was so on-the-nose and unoriginal. Whatever will appeal to the lowest common denominator of the masses (why do I think the producers of this show use that exact phrase about us viewers each season? 🤫) Nice attempt at damage control to film the kids’ birthdays with both of your men, Dolo. Not convincing. David seems so much more stable than she is. OMG, it’s fucking hilarious that Frank is a cheater! False. I can’t believe how good Jackie looks for 44. She and Jen both looks so young and fresh for women in their forties. If I had just flipped to the channel when Margaret was coming over to Jackie’s, I could easily imagine Margaret was Jackie’s mom, not someone less than 10 years older! Dolores “almost” finds it entertaining when she gets shit coming from Joe? She is such a liar. She was so upset at what Joe was saying! OMG, does she not know abut this thing called film?? And Melissa letting Dolores off the hook for whatever reason (probably fear) turns me off. Teresa looked like the Wicked Witch of the West at Jackie’s birthday party. It was a day that ended in Y, so Margaret’s breasts were out. OMG, John Michael is the name of Jennifer’s brother’s store on Long Island!! She finally get his brand on the show after throwing a fit two years ago! 🤮 Nothing like rewarding bad behavior! Everything that goes on between Melissa and Joe seems fake. I don’t think he didn’t need to go to the hospital until the cameras happened to be on any more than Vicki had to go into the hospital on season 6 of RHOC, just as Alexis’s fashion show was debuting. Why didn’t Teresa leave with Melissa, even with covid? Teresa would have expected that of Joe. What is David, an ob-gyn, going to do for Joe’s kidney stone? I imagine that there would be liability issues, not to mention time management issues all over the place, if David tried to be Joe’s, I guess, urologist. This seems so, so, so contrived. The flashback to the treatment likely occurred at David’s clinic after the fact. What I don’t believe is that Joe G got admitted to the hospital, and David rushed there to be his attending. Tell that one to the marines. When Teresa is allowed to talk about her boyfriend in the absence of innuendo, gossip and fanfare, it seems real and genuine. It’s so sad that something real that is occurring on the show—finally—keeps collapsing under the weight of the others who are using this storyline because they don’t have one of their own. Yes, Dolores, Joe Gorga had a psychotic break when he told the truth about you. Twelve cheers for Jackie for owning up to what she said—that she believed what Dolores said in the past—what nerve! And Dolores’s only response was not to attack the substance of what Jackie was saying—because it was entirely steeped in logic—but to once again attack the procedure of what happened and just double-down on the idea that they took a vote. Dolores is not a good arguer. And I noticed she can’t pronounce “comparable.” If Teresas gets shit for it, Dolores gets shit for it. She’s no rocket scientist. I don’t see how she’s such a self-described “fucking catch.” She likes to talk tough when she’s not faced with her opponent. She wants to explain to Margaret just how wrong Melissa and Jackie are. Why doesn’t she explain it to them instead? Why does she make such a big distinction between herself and “some dumb bitch walking down the street”? When has Dolores demonstrated smarts in the past five seasons? I think, if they had to go head to head, I would say Melissa is smarter than Dolores. The main good things I believed about Dolores up until recently was that she was nice and a peacemaker, and that’s all been blown to hell. But smart? She’s near the bottom. On this cast. Just off the top of my head, if Joe Gorga should go with Frank to get a colonoscopy, because they’re getting old (why do I feel like this doctor’s trip is in the near future on the show? 😩), then doesn’t it stand to reason that Teresa needs a colonoscopy too, as she is older than Joe? But no one would be able to point even that out to Dolores, because she is so freaking sensitive. She actually makes Jackie look like a stalwart Russian mercenary in how fragile Dolores is as soon as the surface is scratched. I love Jackie vs Dolores. They speak enough of the same language that it is not frustrating, the way Jackie vs Teresa is. Also, neither of them are getting any protection, which makes it far more interesting. The person who would “protect” Dolores is Teresa, and Teresa doesn’t really give a shit, and the people that would “protect” Jackie are Melissa, who is absent, and Margaret, who is scared shitless of Dolores. Let the games begin. No one is allowed to talk if they’re not following Dolores’s party line either. Jackie can’t talk and then Jennifer can’t talk. When Jackie finally got a chance to talk, she made a ton of sense. She learned a lot since throwing out coke rumors “as analogies” at the beginning of the season. I love to see any kind of growth in these women. I loathe people who shut down other people’s speech. I forgot this was 1763 and Dolores was King George. No one is looking for Dolores to fall apart—they just idly gossiped about her at a party—off with their heads? I don’t get it. And that passive-aggressive jab that Teresa better not talk about her man around them, or they will gossip about Teresa? I beg to differ, because Teresa just puts it out there. So no one needs to take secret votes about her. She was mum on the boyfriend for a long period of time (and Dolores wouldn’t even let us see David for at least a season) and now that he and Teresa are serious, she is going to reveal him. What Teresa is not going to do is let this guy jerk her around for years and then get really defensive when people talk about it. Teresa has her flaws, but she doesn’t get defensive in this particular way. She actually stays kind of calm in this type of situation, and tells people to talk to her lawyer or just flatly denies it (then she goes on to hold a grudge, which is a bit of a problem, but a grudge is actually preferable, to me, to someone who hocks and harangues people about what they said, the people admit it, say they understand and won’t do it again, and she still has a fucking problem). I like a cranky Gorga couple. I like them more this season than perhaps ever before, which is still not much. Not everything is so perfect and “thank you Jee-Zus!” Shit is getting real (even if it’s a little fake) and I’m here for that. I think Joe was on serious pain meds during that last argument, especially when he lisped, “if you want to go to the city!” I had to laugh. I didn’t know someone so short could fall so far. I believe Teresa is in a loving relationship with this Louis (Louie?) person (though her date outfit was atrocious and not flattering), but she just sold it, probably because it’s real. I remember that the viewers collectively had a hard time believing that David existed until he appeared on camera, and even then people were weirded out and never really settled into him. I’m not sure how much Dolores settled into David (the kids would have to wait to eat for Frank, but not David; nice priorities) and that is a huge part of the problem. Gosh, I hope to stop writing so much about Dolores. It just took me by surprise because I thought my least favorite was going to be Margaret, right up through the end of the season. Did not see this one coming. Slightly less boring episodes tonight and last week though, so maybe Dolores becoming deplorable actually leads. Whatever works.

I respect what you’re saying, and I would agree with you in a vacuum. Like, race doesn’t have to come into the equation. I get that. Anecdotally, though, I get the other side, because I was in this situation where a black friend brought me to see his brother in an all-black neighborhood, and when the brother met me (I’m white), he immediately said, half genuinely, half tongue-in-cheek, “well, we accept all colors around here,” with a big smile, and I was immediately put at ease at the fact that he said it and by the way he thought he could joke with me right out of the gate. I don’t think mentioning race is a problem. I think the fixation on race is a problem, and Eboni is the one who displayed that at every turn this episode. I stopped counting, as soon as I made the affirmative decision that this show will never be on my DVR again, but, just off the top of my head, she mentioned that it was “good news” that Governor Newsom was considering reparations, she wore a sweatshirt with the names of the Central Park Five on it, she mentioned that she met her boyfriend, in part, through commonality on NFL kneeling, and she went on at length about how black people were welcomed in Sag Harbor in the 1940s, which, according to Eboni, was one generation removed from slavery, which is strange, considering the 1940s were 75 years after slavery ended in America. I guarantee if another member of the cast had made such an honest gaffe, they would be taken to school at length for their ignorance, and privilege. Leah was with Eboni when she wore the Central Park Five sweatshirt, and they supposedly knew each other before, so when they were traveling to Sonja’s party in the car and Eboni asked if Sonja was used to being around “people like [her],” it wasn’t a huge leap to me that Leah would ask a clarifying question to make sure that Eboni was referring to race prior to responding. I can fault Leah for being gross, having inappropriate moral outrage, for holding different people to different standards, and for wild immaturity, but I don’t have a problem with her asking if someone who has a penchant for talking about race was talking about race before responding in kind. All of the racial conversation could have been avoided, but Eboni wants very much to talk about race, which I guess is fine in the greater scheme of things. But, if Eboni can make allusions to race four times in one episode, I’m not sure why Sonja can’t make one, especially given that Sonja seemed friendly and non-confrontational in what she was saying. Most of Eboni’s racial speech, on the other hand, seemed designed to be provocative (Sag Harbor as the exception). And I can’t really blame Eboni completely, because another poster explained Eboni’s history to me over PM, and it’s clear that she was one way once, and now she is getting paid to be Bravo’s woke token “person of color.” So Bravo is at least somewhat at fault for only offering a position to someone on the cast who falls in line with what they think we will appreciate and will fall in line with our views of how people of certain races should think and act, and, also, for Bravo to atone for what it perceives to be its own racial transgressions, I guess. So, Eboni is just a pawn in their game. A willing pawn, but a pawn nonetheless. I think it is so sad that Bravo keeps making casting choices in order to pass some type of politically correct litmus test and in order to improve their ESQ score for 💲. I am so embarrassed for Bravo and its players. Because Andy is obsessed with appearing woke (I don’t think he is woke at all, and I think he is actually very elitist IRL), he casts Asian and black cast members who act the way he probably expects Asian and black people to act, with zero thought for diversity of opinion. This is actually kind of racist to me, because white women cast on these shows, while not completely free to act how they want, get a lot more latitude than minority women, who have to pay lip service to certain causes or they will not get or stay cast. I have to call everyone out, now that I am on a roll. Luann really wanted to know how Eboni met her new man, and Eboni was listing a bunch of causes that Eboni and the BF had in common, and Luann was just nodding really hard, as if she aligned with these causes too, when, meanwhile, Luann doesn’t give a shit about these causes. She did an Indian war whoop in a restaurant just to annoy Carole in season five. But she wants to keep her job. It’s so gross how Bravo says “jump,” and these aging, divorced women say, “how high?” I find Sonja’s throwaway comment a lot more innocuous than Luann’s faux enthusiastic nodding about social justice. I also thought Sonja’s throwaway comment about the fish was a lot more innocuous than Eboni’s response, which was that Sonja must be body positive, because some of her fish were overweight, the implication being that one is only “body positive” if they embrace extra fat, as if it is just as healthy and attractive as a normal weight. Just so much PC bullshit. I need a fainting couch. Also, Eboni, put your breasts away! She made freaking Sonja look demure. Those girls deserved their own tag lines. Also, Luann, your apartment ain’t all that. It looked, as another poster up thread pointed out, not very different from Leah’s apartment that Luann dressed down last season (which I agreed wasn’t shit). But it is rich for Luann to make passive-aggressive comments about the size of Leah’s coffee table, when Luann’s table is a cardboard box! I’m also not sure how Eboni was legally practicing law since the age of 23. She is my age and she graduated from law school one year earlier than I did, and I am young for my age in my grade, and there was still no way I could have practiced law legally prior to the age of 25, so it is just a mathematical puzzle to me how she began practicing prior to 24. The world may never know. I sound like such a hater on Eboni, which is ok, she didn’t leave a good taste in my mouth, and if I held that back because she is black, that would be racist to me. I did, however, like how she took responsibility for the messes—all of them—in the past, unlike, ahem, someone’s name who rhymes with Bone Ya (and even Sonj seems to have she shit together a little more this episode than previous seasons. She mentioned the quarantine was good for her twice. Girl, I’m right there with you). I also thought it was funny when Eboni said that she was “old as hell” in response to whether she was going to have kids. Not everyone is Ramona, popping out firstborns naturally at 38. I admire when women don’t think it is some type of anti-feminist taboo to acknowledge scientific facts. In summary, I just have so much more of a problem with Bravo and so little patience for the network, than with any individual player that I am quitting most all of their shows on a dime, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Ok, this is going to make me look like the biggest hypocrite ever, since I said I need a PC fainting couch...but when Leah’s father said this, I was turned off. I was like, “yeah, like there are no Mexican Jews! Has he not heard of Mauricio?” It just seems weird to me to assume that everyone in Mexico is Catholic. I know it’s a joke, but a joke only makes sense if the joker thinks there is something truthful about its core. Not only are not all Mexicans Catholic, but it is disputed how Catholic a lot of Mexicans who identify as Catholic are, as the Day of the Dead is not recognized by the church. It’s not a big deal, but I kind of wish people would be a little more educated when it comes to religion. I have called Ramona out about this in the past, as well as Jill co-signing an attitude the Count had about Judaism. Like...if people who practice the religion are ignorant about it—and religion is unlike race, in that it is a choice, it is not immutable—what exactly is happening with our civilization? And now that I just deconstructed another Housewife show with so much gravitas, I know it is time I go back to annoying the people on the Jersey board (and possibly BH, that one is on the bubble) and leave the good viewers of RHNYC in peace. 😁

Oh my God, I am just going to say I love that this question was posed—it is “champing.” “Champing at the bit” comes from a poem: “Twelve beauteous steeds, of golden color and with golden mains, champ at the bit.” “Chomping” is also accepted, but it’s not technically correct. Nerd rant over. So this was the finale? What a drag. They didn’t even include Jenna, my favorite (by default), unless I was seriously not paying attention, which is a major possibility. 😊 The break broke the show, and once it came back on Monday nights, I couldn’t be bothered. I flipped my opinion when she gave birth and I wish Jenna the best, but that weird lockjawed construction working boyfriend (how does he work construction but only weigh about 115 lbs) can kick rocks, and her dad probably needs to grow up more than she does, freaking her out about her own pregnancy more than she was already freaked out, instead of swallowing his fear and putting on a brave face, which is what every good dad has done since the dawn of time. I am not a fan of reunions, or tell-alls. It allows a lot of weakness for the regular episodes. If there was no tell-all at the end of the season, they would have to give us a lot more over the course of 15 episodes to get us to tune in again. This season was the worst—so boring and not enough function to round out the dysfunction. This season would have done better as a five-part limited series, but then where would all the TLC advertising revenue come from? I’ll start with my second-least hated couple—Ethan and Myrka: I think what happened to them is not an argument in favor of abortion, but an argument in favor of abstaining from sex or, failing that, using double protection correctly. If I was making an argument for abortion, I would have to say that I am advocating for two underage, unskilled teenagers to have unprotected sex, get pregnant, then get unpregnant through surgery and antibiotics and a whole slew of other meds (and this is without getting into complications) so that she doesn’t wind up wondering who is going to pay for her college tuition. Why not just...abstain? And then you can go to college without wonder or worry. Wouldn’t that be so much more logical? To me, it’s like saying that the Donner Party Should have chosen cannibalism instead of saying that they should have avoided crossing the Sierra Nevadas at that time of year, only, with the Donner Party, it is much more complicated. Two teenagers sticking to making out and heavy petting is just not a tall order, unless they’re multi-millionaires who can make any choice with regard to their offspring they need to. They were pretty clear when they came on the show that they had unprotected sex as a habit. So uncool. I don’t feel sorry for them, especially Myrka; she’ll love you and leave you, and I think she’s more bewildered than anything else that someone (Ethan’s parents) got there first. Lilliana (who I think would have been ok with adoption, though I don’t have good evidence to back up that assertion) was proven right. The people I feel most sorry for are Ethan’s siblings, especially the baby. And I don’t believe the mom that Myrka moving in and then bringing in another whole-ass baby had “nothing” to do with them splitting up. Though that was definitely mixed signals the genius parents were sending: we are so happy you are having a baby while you’re in high school, that not only are we going to throw you a big-ass “gender reveal,” complete with fake mustaches you can hold up to your face in the photo station on (I mean, what “gender reveal” would be complete without that?), but we are going to spend hours decking our SUV out to the nines in pink bows and silly string and confetti in order to pick you up from the hospital. Every fucking one of those people in that house (except the little kids) is sorely confused and confusing and it’s depressing as hell. Ok, I don’t know who I hate more—Alex and Tyra or Lilly and Lawrence—so I’ll just go with Tyra next: Alex is a fucking psychopath, it’s confirmed. Tyra is no picnic either. Clearly, HE CHEATS. What he got caught doing is talking to other girls, but he cheats. Sure as Matthew cheated on Hailey, Alex is cheating on Tyra, and the two winners just sit there uncomfortably and dance around it. I think Tyra is such a selfish bitch for going away to college to cheer, essentially rendering Alex a single father five days a week (it took me a long time to realize how selfish she was being; I thought she was going to a local college and that cheering was paying for it at the beginning of the season). Now she just expects Alex’s grandmother to watch Layla. But can we talk about Alex for a second? He is so shy and awkward and seems physically pained when a question is posed to him. This episode, it was the tearing at the curls nonstop, but at almost every other point, his MO is to go down. My husband laughs at my impression of him—it starts with the ducking of the chin into the chest, then the shoulders hunch, and finally the body doubles over. This is not even a boy, let alone a man! This is more like an earthworm when poked with a stick. I don’t care that he never had a father figure growing up (actually I care a lot, but it doesn’t give him total immunity). Has Alex never watched TV and seen a police officer or a judge or even a self-respecting criminal stand and speak assertively? He’s going to be a horrible father, because he has no idea how to teach his child how to act out there in order to meet her goals without harming people. These two need to break up and stay broken up ASAP. And they both need a serious amount of help growing up. The dark horses for this season for me? Alex’s mom (just for gong from totally creepy to partially creepy) and his freaking grandma, who did an about-face and acted mature and kind all season long. The grandma (great-grandma, I guess) is Layla’s best hope. And look at the job she did with Alex! 🙇‍♀️ Lilly and Lawrence—I HATE THEM. They do not offer a single redeeming thing to anyone. Not even to themselves. The only one I like in that entire equation is Lawrence’s mom. She is way too happy about this unplanned pregnancy, but she has been speaking sense since the beginning. She knows Lawrence has to ingratiate himself with Aaliyah, even though he is not her father or stepfather, and that he has to be something of a dad to her. Lilly’s mom and Lilly’s mom’s boyfriend are such losers and liars. First of all, I just have to clear something up—there are no step-parents in this family. The show erroneously bills Lilly’s mom’s boyfriend as “Lilly’s Stepdad” and it is frequently mentioned that Lawrence is Aaliyah’s stepdad now. Full-stop—FALSE. There is a huge difference between “partner” and “family.” The latter suggests a permanent relationship. The former connotes only what is going on in the relationship at the moment. So Lilly’s mom’s boyfriend (I don’t know his name—calling him The Haircut works out for me just fine) can be gone at a moment’s notice. He is not any kind of father to her, not her stepfather, and I’m not entirely sure why Lawrence asked his permission to marry Lilly, other than the plot called for it. I also think Lilly’s mom and The Haircut are such fucking liars in that they gave their blessing (with hands on their hearts and weeping eyes IIRC) for Lawrence to marry Lilly, and then immediately in their talking heads they said they think they should wait. “Wait,” in this instance, means, “we don’t think she should marry him.” Then man up and say something. You guys are in your forties and sixties, respectively. When are you going to start giving your opinions about what is right and what is wrong, especially when it goes on under your roof? When she is on baby number nine? (Will that be before or after someone gets off their ass to potty train poor Aaliyah, whose diapers the camera never fails to catch, which means that when she is in school, her peers will be able to make fun of her for wearing a diaper during the day at three. This is all, of course, her skanky mom’s fault, but the peers won’t see it that way). As far as Lawrence and Aaliyah, whooo child, where do I even start? He came into the picture, aka slid into Lilly’s DM’s, knowing she had a child. Why he is now taking his kohl-rimmed eyes (the weirdness of which I can’t even get into) and giving Aaliyah the death stare several times is a pathology so deep that it frightens me through my TV screen. Now that this baby is born, Lawrence views Aaliyah as a threat to the family he wants to have, either with Lilly or another brood mare, so long as he can be completely in control and “famous”. He said, when they were still in the hospital, that he wants to have “another one.” He is clearly one of those guys who likes knocking women up because it makes him feel like more of a man. There was a guy just like this on Growing Up Hip-Hop, but that guy had at least some disposable income. What does Lawrence do, other than impregnate Y-list former reality TV stars in order to get his 15 seconds of fame? Nothing. So, Lawrence, I have a wild fucking idea—now that you have a kid with this ho, and when she had the baby, you were 19 and she was 20, which means y’all are probably closer to 21 and 20 now...why don’t you actually marry her and then take steps to adopt Aaliyah, and then she will not be just your stepchild, she will be your legal child, and you can mold her and lay down the law for her, not even like a dad, but as a dad? These two are not even teenagers anymore. They claim to be so in love. Technically they are engaged. March down to Suffolk County Clerk, which is right there in Riverhead, and make an honest woman out of Lilly, but more importantly, adopt her child and be the father she never had (I doubt Kennedy, of season one, would mind, given that he doesn’t even pay support) and then Aaliyah won’t feel like the red headed stepchild. But having an intact nuclear family in one’s twenties is a sure fire ticket off the show, so the chances of Lilly and Lawrence actually doing this are...I’d say “slim to none,” but “slim” sounds wildly optimistic! 😦

Perfectly stated. I admire your brevity. To bolster our points that they are exhibiting unresolved issues and she’s got Frank on a leash, there is never a point when Frank has a girl around ever, not just in situations where Frank is appearing as Dolores’s “date.” For instance, this season and last season, when they went to the Jersey Shore, Teresa didn’t have a date. They were just group trips. Yet Frank never brings a female to accompany him. It’s clearly (to me) because Dolores doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Embarrassed by what though? I thought they were “just friends.” And it is being passed down to their kids. Last season, when Gabby was home and Dolores was speaking hypothetically about Frank moving on, Gabby said, “my butthole just clenched when you said that.” And it was clear from the way Gabby said it that she was clenching on Dolores’s, and not her own, behalf. This is a veterinary student whose parents divorced when she was a baby! Why is she clenching about her dad moving on, unless there is something very wrong with her parents’ dynamic? 🤷‍♀️ I just want to add that I was tricked because of the editing for so long. It just looked like a big, mashed up family where Dolores’s ex and boyfriend lived together, and aren’t they wonderful? 😍 What a cute commentary on the new normal! It was definitely a process for the scales to fall from my eyes, but Dolores losing her shit and demanding to Frank that they “fucking go” from a party where Dolores was questioned about her house of cards, I completely realized the situation is FUBAR.