This sentence is perfection.
I actually liked last night's episode, because it was very low on Beau and Lisa, and when Lisa was featured, she was acting kind of...human? Even Ken was acting human. There are pods in the basement.
I totally like Ariana now. She has just softened significantly and it's nice. If I had one nitpick, I wish she would cuss less. I know I cuss. But if I was on national TV, and I knew my parents were watching, or future potential employers, I would dial it back. There is nothing wrong with a well-placed "fuck you," or, "I forgot my bathing suit. Fuck me." But Ariana and Scheana just put "fuck" into the strangest places. They say things like, "I fucking don't want to," even when they're not heated. Cursing is like Chanel. A little goes a long way.
As far as the drinking and drug use, I think they could all be servieced by drying out and sorting out their issues from a sober place (Sandoval perhaps being an exception). Take six months off drinking/drugging. Work on your problems. Slowly introduce the substances back in, and if they're causing things to flare up, then...you have a choice to make. No one wants to say that though, cause it's not fun. Last night when Stassi was confessing her demons to Lala and Lala suggested it might be the alcohol, I noticed Stassi backpeddle right quick. I don't blame them. Substance use/abuse is their livelihood, financially and otherwise, but at least cop to it. Some are better than others at doing this.
I also can't believe Lala chose Scheana as the person to declare that she is never having another drink to. Scheana literally doesn't understand abstention. That was one of the contributing causes of her divorce. The only way Lala would have been able to get her point across to Scheana would have been if Lala said she had to stop drinking because the alcohol is making her fat. That was the only thing that caused Scheana to look askance at alcohol a few seasons ago.
I know Lala isn't a big fan fave for various and sundry reasons, but I thought it was brave to declare she was never having another drink again. I know she is is "sober" as of last night--a big five months--but I'd say the odds are way better than even money that she'll "have a drink again." On the other hand, Lala declaring her sobriety sounded so much more mature than James's constant whining with tears spilling down his cheeks, "but Leeeeeeessssa, I'll nevah drink againnnnnn. Pleeeeease. What do I have to do? Fuck you all, wankers!" Lather, rinse, repeat. Grow up and put Sur in your rear view mirror, my God, man!
Anyone notice that James called Katie and Schwartz fat again last night? Classy. Not everyone is rail thin with ginormous cartoon features (nor do they want to be). Katie and Tom--if they were "fat," which they're not--could lose weight. What is James going to do to stop looking like a cartoon? What is he going to do in 10 years when that dad bod starts to creep up on him and he is still skinny, but he gets a pauch? Get liposuction? I find that body type much less appealing on men than someone who is a little bigger all around. But I don't spend time worrying about it, unless that person's body is directly affecting me. Why is he so obsessed with trying to call out people's weight in such a derogatory way? I would say it's just about the most immature thing that occurs with regularity on this show, and that is saying A LOT.
I couldn't get a read on Katie this episode. I don't really have an opinion about GNI without knowing what her cut would be, so I can't comment on that. I can just say that she was really, really annoying me when she was driving Schwartz to the bank. Once again, stringing a sentence together seemed to take a shit load of effort. "I wud come in to the bank, Bu...ba, but, I...um, like...can't." I don't know if she's high AF (which I suspect), but it's completely offputting. When Katie went with Stassi to the oracle (which, don't get me started on how stupid that whole concept is), she was bright, articulate, and supportive. Another one who could really benefit from a period of abstention.
The bloom is off the rose a little bit with Stassi as far as I'm concerned. She has always been bitchy, which is fine, but I don't like this pathetic side of her. Maybe it's just vulnerability. I just don't like it. And I cannot stand the way she dresses. She has a great figure, but she dresses like someone 20 lbs heavier, which often has the unfortunate result of making her appear that way. Ever since Stassi left the show and came back the first time, touting her relationship with Patrick and her "Granny chic" style I have not known whether to make heads or tails of her. She looked so cute and vibrant for that book cover. Why doesn't she put on a pretty dress like that more often? It's just as easy to throw on a dress (easier, actually) than to throw on a long-sleeve denim shirt with denim shorts (WTF).
Come to think of it, I don't really enjoy much of the women's fashion on this show. For my aesthetic, I don't think they dress nearly feminine enough. I don't even think they dress sexy enough. I also don't think they have to be whores to every fashion trend that comes along, but I think that they are all a little bit too stuck in their fashion choices. Scheana would look awesome in a cute little cocktail dress with heels that Kristen sometimes wears. Give us legs, girl, instead of 24/7 middriff. What is this, the 90s? Brittney, shredded jeans are not your friend. They are your enemy. I could go on.
I think the men--Jax, Sandoval, and James (not Old Navy Schwartz) have good fashion.
I guess all that is left to say is that I 100% can't stand Racquel. The jury was out on her for me this whole season. I didn't really care if she knew who Charles Manson was. But there was just something so desperate and grasping about this puppy shower, and I can't stand her facial expression in her TH's--the uber sincere look with the knitted brow--which leads me to believe that she's not just stupid, that she's intentionally stupid, and I'm like, girl, bye.