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JD and Abbie: Captured Before the Rapture


frenchtoast
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Wow, Josh was a groomsman in 3 weddings? That is crazy. First I am sad that they let this pos be included in the wedding parties. Second that is some crazy editing they must have done.  Too bad the guys didn't have the guts to stand up to their parents. I would have assumed both JD and Joe would have not wanted to have him in it. JD because he was so upset with the Josh scandal. Joe with the way he treats Kendra and how he was so uptight with the courting rules. Sad they were both probably forced to let him in.

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8 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Maybe time healed things (can't see how) or JB had a say in the matter.

More likely Michelle. Josh is her favorite and nothing will change that. I think that ever since his fall from grace, she's done what she can to protect him from Jim Bob's anger and the reproaches of his siblings.  Plus, they are heavily invested in the narrative that Jesus has washed Josh's sins away and that he shouldn't be punished further, so it would make sense that she'd insist that Josh be part of his brothers' weddings in order to show family solidarity.

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25 minutes ago, ScorpioSoul said:

Wow, Josh was a groomsman in 3 weddings? That is crazy. First I am sad that they let this pos be included in the wedding parties. Second that is some crazy editing they must have done.  Too bad the guys didn't have the guts to stand up to their parents. I would have assumed both JD and Joe would have not wanted to have him in it. JD because he was so upset with the Josh scandal. Joe with the way he treats Kendra and how he was so uptight with the courting rules. Sad they were both probably forced to let him in.

Wasn't Joy a bridesmaid for both Kendra and Lauren? I can't imagine thinking it's okay to put a molester in the same wedding party as his victim. These people are twisted.

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There's no doubt in my mind that Josh is in good standing with his siblings and that it took no prompting from JB or Michelle for Joe and JD to include him in their weddings. The molestations has been a non-issue for them since long before the police reports were published, and the public outrage isn't a reason for them to change their attitudes towards him. The infidelity was shitty but when it comes down to it, it's an issue between him and Anna and it was weird and inappropriate for the siblings to have been so devastated that they cried about it on TV. 

I'm not saying this to defend Josh AT ALL. He's an asshole and his parents, siblings, and wife are enablers. And sure, "brainwashing" and all that jazz, but no one's twisting any of the adults' arms.

Edited by lascuba
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4 hours ago, leighdear said:

I still prefer Jinger's bridesmaid dresses, but these are nice too.  So few of these girls wear the right bra, it's unbelievable.  At least Abbie got her's right.  Jana's are close to hitting her waist.  

What do fundies have against good bras?! It's not like any of the bridesmaids are super busty so finding bras shouldn't be difficult, yet most of them have zero support. It ruins what are otherwise really pretty dresses.

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Wow, Jana's congratulations video was majorly depressing! She reminds me of a single mother who had her child young, and is now still under 40 and giving her child away. Would it have killed them to let someone stand with her, like one of Abbie's sisters? Usually I'd be happy they're letting jana do her own thing, but this video seriously highlights how alone she is. Like Jill, they are majorly tone deaf. Jana's last similar-aged sibling is leaving, who is also her twin, so people are going to be concerned about her anyway. 

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6 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Nope, not a dimwit at all..... No actual U.S. police rank is called "constable." That name only applies to this separate office. That's why it's confusing to people outside the U.S. but not to Amurcans. .... '

And they're not necessarily elected. States and I think even some counties and localities have different rules about how they get into office and what they do. That stuff varies widely. 

So even though Amurcans know constables aren't actual police, we're still very confused about what they are. Lots of people don't even know they exist, I suspect. Have no idea what the history of this weirdness is, but it probably stems partly from the colonies functioning quite independently from one another back at the country's beginning. 

Is this like rent-a-cops that I see on occasion?  I suppose it depends on the state as to whether they are armed?  

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4 hours ago, lascuba said:

 

I bet they were the part of some prank. It was time for the rings, and the ring bearer or best man presented ring pops.

It was the other way around. He was pissed over the infidelity. The molestations were a none issue for the family by that point, and only factored in their anger because all the "work" Josh did to redeem himself after the molestations meant nothing in light of Joshley Madison.

There are so many layers to the way this family is fucked up.

 

Was JD not pissed about the molestations as well though? I remember him saying that “the hardest thing he ever had to tell his brother was he didn’t want to be like him anymore” I presumed that part of that was because his brother molesting his own sisters would’ve disgusted him and then him cheating on Anna pushed it too far.  I don’t know I find it weird that so many people in the Duggar family say they got over it and have forgiven him, I know it’s part of their religion forgiveness but ALL of them forgive him? Come on now. He’s lucky that JB or one of the guys that have married into the family, Jeremy perhaps? hasn’t at least tried to hit him once. 

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19 minutes ago, Puffin said:

 

Was JD not pissed about the molestations as well though? I remember him saying that “the hardest thing he ever had to tell his brother was he didn’t want to be like him anymore” I presumed that part of that was because his brother molesting his own sisters would’ve disgusted him and then him cheating on Anna pushed it too far.  I don’t know I find it weird that so many people in the Duggar family say they got over it and have forgiven him, I know it’s part of their religion forgiveness but ALL of them forgive him? Come on now. He’s lucky that JB or one of the guys that have married into the family, Jeremy perhaps? hasn’t at least tried to hit him once. 

Well, it's not like anyone can know what's really going on in his head, but if we're taking all the Duggar kidults at their word, then no, none of them were pissed about the molestations. They had all "dealt" with it back when they were kids and it's not something that was a factor in their lives until the In Touch article. 

I don't have any experience on any of this, but in reading about sexual abuse among siblings, it doesn't seem to be that uncommon for the victims to forgive their abusers and go on to have fairly healthy relationships with them as adults, depending on the nature of the abuse and other factors. I don't understand it at all, but it's not unbelievable to me that, as young as they were when it happened, the might have genuinely forgiven him long ago. 

Edited by lascuba
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20 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I don't understand it at all, but it's not unbelievable to me that, as young as they were when it happened, the might have genuinely forgiven him long ago. 

Yes perhaps because they were so young it’s easier for them to forgive him. I do think they could all do with therapy though and not a religious one either. 

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58 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Well, it's not like anyone can know what's really going on in his head, but if we're taking all the Duggar kidults at their word, then no, none of them were pissed about the molestations. They had all "dealt" with it back when they were kids and it's not something that was a factor in their lives until the In Touch article. 

I don't have any experience on any of this, but in reading about sexual abuse among siblings, it doesn't seem to be that uncommon for the victims to forgive their abusers and go on to have fairly healthy relationships with them as adults, depending on the nature of the abuse and other factors. I don't understand it at all, but it's not unbelievable to me that, as young as they were when it happened, the might have genuinely forgiven him long ago. 

I think it's called "repression." I don't think any of the Duggars dwell on the abuse day after day, but I don't think that it's all just forgotten, either. Things that happen to people when they're young color their world forever. I can personally think of dozens of old people who I've known, or read about, or seen interviewed on television who still remember and stew over issues from their childhood. I think it's far more likely that what they remember is the favoritism shown to Josh, or the lack of safety and security that they felt in their own home and their own beds. They also probably have difficulty with the cognitive dissonance of it all since they have had it drummed into their heads since infancy that their parents are perfect and God loves them best.

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1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Is this like rent-a-cops that I see on occasion?  I suppose it depends on the state as to whether they are armed?  

 

From what I've been reading, I gather that historically they were one of the first kinds of judicial workers in the country, dating back at least to the early 18th and maybe even 17th century? First came volunteer "watch" people -- who were sort of like cops. And then towns brought in "constables" who were usually paid, it seems, and who did lots of judiciary-related things, like serving warrants and so on. ..... Then in the 19th century, municipal police departments came in. Those replaced the watches right away, looks like, but I suppose the constables hung on because rather than patrolling and such they tended to do a lot of work directly for the courts, and the municipal police departments weren't set up to take over those functions.+

So the constables kind of dwindled down, and the details pf what they do now depend entirely on the state, or sometimes the county or city. Some states don't have them at all. The ones that exist are still official parts of government as they were historically -- either elected or appointed by someone official, like a court ..... In at least some places they do act sort of like rent-a-cops -- helping the police patrol some event or other that calls for extra manpower.  And in many states they continue to do the traditional things of serving warrants and summonses and subpoenas of various kinds. That's what I'm getting from what I read, anyhow. Like here -- https://www.heraldcourier.com/news/history-of-constable-system-as-old-as-the-united-states/article_b902b704-3474-5cec-ab7d-02f7df29e176.html

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2 hours ago, lascuba said:

What do fundies have against good bras?! It's not like any of the bridesmaids are super busty so finding bras shouldn't be difficult, yet most of them have zero support. It ruins what are otherwise really pretty dresses.

It seems like the buy the cheap t-shirt bras or cloth yoga bras for the communal closet without any regard for proper fit.

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1 hour ago, lascuba said:

Well, it's not like anyone can know what's really going on in his head, but if we're taking all the Duggar kidults at their word, then no, none of them were pissed about the molestations. They had all "dealt" with it back when they were kids and it's not something that was a factor in their lives until the In Touch article. 

I don't have any experience on any of this, but in reading about sexual abuse among siblings, it doesn't seem to be that uncommon for the victims to forgive their abusers and go on to have fairly healthy relationships with them as adults, depending on the nature of the abuse and other factors. I don't understand it at all, but it's not unbelievable to me that, as young as they were when it happened, the might have genuinely forgiven him long ago. 

Or totally BELIEVE that they forgave him long ago, but still have it roiling under the surface of their minds somewhere without even realizing it. And occasionally freaking out in some apparently inexplicable way because of unresolved fear or anger. ..... I wouldn't expect them to know the difference between total forgiveness and total shoving under the rug without actually resolving it for yourself in any way, shape or form. .... And it's not like anybody ever allowed them to do anything BUT ostentatiously "forgive him." Hell, in Gothardville, the abused actually are required to take on the blame themselves and be the ones who do all the "repairing" of the relationship. 

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I love Abby’s dress, especially the belt, but then again my wedding dress from 20 years ago is nearly identical, except without the awesome belt. Still, I’m pleasantly surprised by how beautiful they both look in the pictures as I always thought John’s head was shaped like an alien’s oversized head with a huge, bulging forehead, and Abby has a bit of a pug or French bulldog look to her, with her eyes and nose specifically. They both look attractive enough to model for David’s Bridal though so well done to them and their talented photographer. 

I swear that I’m genuinely complimenting them in this post though. They look great, and I think bridesmaids’ dresses are nice too though everyone is right: they need better bras ASAP. 

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5 hours ago, IndianPaintbrush said:

Wow, Whitney looks fantastic!

 

5 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Stylish dress that fits, not floor length baggy thing.  Thumbs up!!

And no cardigan sweater!!

This is what a sister of the groom (even though she isn't) should look like at her brother's wedding. Not the casual, going to the Market Grille look worn by Jessa & Joy & probably Jill. (Have we seen any wedding pictures with Jill or Izzy in them?)  

Edited by Barb23
Oops, forgot the picture
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5 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Confirmation (by the tie) that Zach Bates was just a guest, not a groomsman. 

eta: He might have been an usher. That would explain the boutinnere. (sp?).

Had problem posting picture with my post.

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On ‎11‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 6:17 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

There probably wasn't any butter. Ergo, problem solved! They probably figure just getting Mrs. Butterworth's (or the generic equivalent thereof) kills both those birds with one stone. 

There HAD to at least have been  syrup, right....?

 

Not ergo, Eggo!  (Cue the theme music from Stranger Things.....)

Edited by Quilt Fairy
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10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Confirmation (by the tie) that Zach Bates was just a guest, not a groomsman. 

eta: He might have been an usher. That would explain the boutinnere. (sp?).

They got a King of Queens looks disparity going on. 

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13 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

That is a good angle for him, I  agree that is probably the best we've ever seen him. Abbie looks beautiful. Boob and Mechelle make me want to vomit sitting there beaming. Crazy ass stage parents

The two Jkids next to them...hahah. Love how unamused they are. You go girls

Who’s the little girl next to Jenni?

12 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I'm kind of loving that Jana was the only Duggar sister who was a bridesmaid.  Abbie has actual friends, apparently (probably since she didn't move onto the Duggar compound in her late teens after an arranged Duggar marriage and has worked/attended LPN school "in the world."

I love that Jana was singled out as the only sister in the wedding party. I’m sure that made her feel pretty special.   May Abbie now be on the hunt for a husband for Jana (if that’s Jana’ desire), and may Jana continue to be treated as something above a convenient babysitter. 

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12 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Why couldn't Jana spend $20 for the classy pale satin slippers the others are wearing?...so stinking Duggar cheap..... Jana came so close to getting it right...her hair, her makeup.....

I think she needed the height? 

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7 hours ago, kokapetl said:

I think she needed the height? 

Jana is super duper short. Like tiny as a 7th grader (and I’m only 5’6).  I don’t gauge height very well but I’d say 5’3 tops. Contrast that with Anna being much taller than she looks on tv. 

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14 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Or totally BELIEVE that they forgave him long ago, but still have it roiling under the surface of their minds somewhere without even realizing it. And occasionally freaking out in some apparently inexplicable way because of unresolved fear or anger. ..... I wouldn't expect them to know the difference between total forgiveness and total shoving under the rug without actually resolving it for yourself in any way, shape or form. .... And it's not like anybody ever allowed them to do anything BUT ostentatiously "forgive him." Hell, in Gothardville, the abused actually are required to take on the blame themselves and be the ones who do all the "repairing" of the relationship. 

That's true. I think because I have neither personal nor professional experience with this kind of thing, I don't want to ascribe feelings to them based on what I assume is common knowledge. Plus, feelings can be so different about the same experiences that I like err on the side of taking their word for it unless they say something that's a provable lie.

Also, I have to admit that a part of me just wants to be uncharacteristically optimistic about the whole thing. I really want to believe that Josh's age when he molested those girls means that it was something he could grow out of, regardless of how horribly his parents handled it. And I want to believe that his victims don't have lasting trauma from it. I don't care if they've actually forgiven him, because I'm actually against the whole notion that forgiveness is an important step in any sort of recovery, but I do want them to be ok.

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I think that style of the bridesmaids' dress with short sleeves and a high neckline is very tricky to wear unless you have small breasts.  There looks to be a good 6 inches between the neckline and the top of the breast, and I think the cut of the dress actually pushes their breasts down, and gives the illusion of a saggy uni-boob.  Also, most of the bridesmaids are leaning forward, which adds to the problem. Those women are too young to have issues with gravity- none of them have huge busts.

Abbie's dress, in contrast, has a lower neckline and results in a more flattering look.

That isn't to say that the bridesmaids weren't wearing crappy cheap bras.  Decent bras cost money, and I assume you can't buy them at thrift stores.  I can't see Jana shelling out $40+ for a good bra.  Also, I bet there is an unwritten rule that single women do not need pretty lingerie.  

Edited by 3 is enough
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2 hours ago, dargosmydaddy said:

Do you mean in this picture? I'm pretty sure that's Jordyn.

image.png.9628c6f62eb354e0262c6876adaecd9c.png

Looks like Kynzie to me. Also, color me shocked that cheapo JB finally sprung for a new suit. At least he matches the others. And Jenni, as usual, looks so over it.

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29 minutes ago, lascuba said:

That's true. I think because I have neither personal nor professional experience with this kind of thing, I don't want to ascribe feelings to them based on what I assume is common knowledge. Plus, feelings can be so different about the same experiences that I like err on the side of taking their word for it unless they say something that's a provable lie.

Also, I have to admit that a part of me just wants to be uncharacteristically optimistic about the whole thing. I really want to believe that Josh's age when he molested those girls means that it was something he could grow out of, regardless of how horribly his parents handled it. And I want to believe that his victims don't have lasting trauma from it. I don't care if they've actually forgiven him, because I'm actually against the whole notion that forgiveness is an important step in any sort of recovery, but I do want them to be ok.

Yep, makes sense. I totally agree that it's possible some have actually forgiven him.....I just think that it's almost certainly just as likely some haven't but think (and insist) that they have.....You'd need a certain amount of....ummm...awareness to know the difference. And I can't say I've seen any signs of that! .... I also totally agree that forgiveness isn't necessary for recovery. God has told THEM that it is, though, so that's gotta complicate the picture in their heads, I think! 

2 hours ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

Jana is super duper short. Like tiny as a 7th grader (and I’m only 5’6).  I don’t gauge height very well but I’d say 5’3 tops. Contrast that with Anna being much taller than she looks on tv. 

Oh, she's tall then? lol

Edited by Churchhoney
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20 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I don't care if they've actually forgiven him, because I'm actually against the whole notion that forgiveness is an important step in any sort of recovery, but I do want them to be ok.

I am as well. I think it's total bullshit. Forcing yourself to feel something that doesn't sit right in your heart only serves to make you more conflicted and miserable. If the Duggar girls have truly reached a place where they can forgive and forget, then that's their right and I don't judge them for it, but they shouldn't be forced to play nice for the sake of Boob and Michelle's "godly" reputation.

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7 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I am as well. I think it's total bullshit. Forcing yourself to feel something that doesn't sit right in your heart only serves to make you more conflicted and miserable. If the Duggar girls have truly reached a place where they can forgive and forget, then that's their right and I don't judge them for it, but they shouldn't be forced to play nice for the sake of Boob and Michelle's "godly" reputation.

Really??!!! Even though that's the only thing in the universe that actually matters??!!! 

I mean, those Duggarlings, they're just numbers  -- completely interchangeable (as we can tell from all the birthday messages). 

It's horrifying that that's been the only really serious consideration ....  ever ... in a home where people deliberately had 19 children. And yet, it is so.....Naive myths about how "Awww, Jim Bob loves eez kidz..." notwithstanding. That slimy bastard with the huge phony smile on his huge intrusive mug loves no one and nothing but his damn self. I guarantee it. He wouldn't know actual love if it bit him in the ass. Even if he does sometimes play a different character for TeeVee.

Edited by Churchhoney
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23 minutes ago, graefin said:

Looks like Kynzie to me. Also, color me shocked that cheapo JB finally sprung for a new suit. At least he matches the others. And Jenni, as usual, looks so over it.

But surely this little girl slept all night in that ratty braid.  McKenzie would have much tidier hair.  I say Jordyn!

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23 hours ago, dargosmydaddy said:

I think they're Ring Pops? I don't know why you'd want them at your wedding, either, but at least there's no "baby" connotation to them...

image.png.a221f312ebd8c33a6d2a61829fb8fee5.png

Probably is by now.

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16 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I don’t think Jill has forgiven him. 

 

Before the abuse was made public, there was a 19Kids episode (or it may have been 18kids) where some of the older kids went to the dentist and had to have wisdom teeth removed. Jill was FREAKING OUT about being under anesthesia and I thought to myself “what in the world happened to this girl to make her afraid of being asleep?!!”(she wasn’t afraid of the pain or anything like that but being ASLEEP and the dentist being there).......well now we know. 

I have never been a victim of sexual abuse (I am thankful for that), but from what I have heard in the world it’s not rare for family  to expect a victim to eat Thanksgiving dinner with their abuser. Keeping the family peace/status quo is often more important than the victim’s comfort in mainstream society. I cannot speak for the Duggar girls but I don’t think Jill has forgiven him based on her dentist freak out a decade later. 

I don’t remember if it was Jill, Jessa, or both, but I remember their being pissed that he’d JUST allowed them to go on national TV defending him/interviewing about the molestations and trying to move things past it when he obviously knew he was/had been cheating on his wife and was at high risk for another scandal anytime.

 

And yeah - I have a friend who was raped by a family friend at a young age, and she’s extremely uncomfortable with having unexpectedly woken up with a catheter when a surgery ran hours longer than planned (someone touching her genitals to do so while she was out, and without her even knowing it would be done), or being knocked out during procedures anywhere near that region/with the area exposed. I DON’T know that she attributes it to the rape - it’s more “I’m really uncomfortable with that” and I think she thinks all/most women are, and while that isn’t the case for me she may not be wrong, maybe it’s much more common among those who haven’t been violated than I’d figured - but I definitely do and have it, unmentioned, as background context in my mind when it’s come up before and after various surgeries.

Edited by WalrusGirl
On topic, the better photos were lovely (horrible bras aside, but I also couldn’t help noticing that immediately - Jana’s situation wasn’t near the worst), and I was also relieved to see Michelle’s actual wedding attire! Phew.
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22 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Confirmation (by the tie) that Zach Bates was just a guest, not a groomsman. 

eta: He might have been an usher. That would explain the boutinnere. (sp?).

For the love of all things fundie, please stop with the brown shoes when wearing a black suit!!

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6 minutes ago, cdp73 said:

For the love of all things fundie, please stop with the brown shoes when wearing a black suit!!

It's not just fundies- pretty much widespread. My son was in a wedding this summer and he was asked to wear a navy suit and brown shoes.  And my youngest son (age 26) informed me that  "only cops" wear black shoes with navy.  Now maybe navy and brown is more acceptable than black and brown?  No idea.  But props to Zach for having POLISHED shoes.

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On 11/7/2018 at 9:15 AM, Jeeves said:

No. "Constable" in Arkansas isn't the same as a Constable in the UK. It's a basically unpaid or very low paid position, rendering certain services, I don't remember the details right now. Not a county's main law enforcement officer. That's the sheriff, who has a staff of deputies. 

and possibly some skills

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