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S22.E10: Week 9


OnceSane
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1 hour ago, BuckeyeLou said:

Plus, I would not want to be near all those birds!  Can you imagine the bird poop?!

I can vouch that it is pretty smelly! But very cool. The Islas de ballestas are also known as the mini Galapagos. A waste that they spent the whole time making out instead of paying attention. 

 

3 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

 

So it was really Leann singing and not some other singer poorly covering it?

 

Oh, I am pretty sure it was a cover- but it was just so well used. I would like each date paired with a 90s cover, please. 

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6 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

So it was really Leann singing and not some other singer poorly covering it?

It didn't sound like Leann to me. I'm not 100% sure how music royalties work, but my guess is that it's much cheaper to play a cover by a no-name singer. Even though Leann didn't write the song, she probably gets paid big bucks when her version is played.

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2 hours ago, phlebas said:

Congrats Arie.  You talked all three of them into bed. You slime mold.

I actually have doubts that he and Kendall had sex.  They referred to each other as best friends at one point and when he pulled her aside at the RC she couldn't stop herself from giggling.  I feel like they spoke in the fantasy suite, both knew the deal, and he's just helping her along a possible path to Bachelorette or just giving TPTB what they want with the drama.  They really looked at each other like, ok we have to pretend this is a tough goodbye right now.

Edited by GracieK
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27 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

 Arie's ease with it was bone-chilling. I used to think that his player reputation may be exaggerated, but I sure don't anymore.

I started thinking it was all an act with him when he brought that woman (name?) back to his home and acted like she was the first one he'd ever shown home movies, too. "Embarrassing!" So vulnerable, right? Embarrassed and all with her. It seemed like schtick he'd done a thousand times before, getting women to open up at his "vulnerability". No way was that the first time he'd shared those.

I thought his "nice guy" soft-spoken act with the brother of (was it Tia? Bekah? Whoever) last week was completely transparently practiced and fake. "Playboy? Me? That's so untrue. I'm just a nice genuine guy who has had his share of dates through the years, but am SO sincere and honest. I'd never hurt anyone! You can trust me!!!"

Telling all three "I love you" just to get to sleep with them is so low.  How does he at least not know how this will lok on the show? He really is every bit as dumb as he seems. His fakeness has now been exposed for all to see. Whoever the loser is (i.e. the one who winds up with Arie), she should dump him ASAP.  No wonder Emily gave him back his journal unread. He is creepy, and has all the makings of a stalker if he was genuinely interested in you. Someone who found it incomprehensible to be told "no".)

Arie is vile. I hope he gets that message loud and clear at ATFR.

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30 minutes ago, betha said:

I thought Roy from The Office. 

Man, I love Peru. I am reliving my honeymoon. There is nothing like the colors of the desert by the ocean in Paracas.

also, I love Lee Ann Rimes.

Those two things made tonight’s show worth watching. I don’t get what any of these women see in Arie. I am a wrong reasons watcher and unspoiled and cannot wait for next week. 

Peru looks beautiful. I love this show for the different countries that they film in.

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12 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

I just read on Twitter where Ross’s IG followers went from 5,000 to over 1.7 million! You go, Notebook guy!

I am totally convinced production contacted him and fed him some crap about Becca wanting him back. He seemed genuinely shocked. And I thought Becca didn’t even seem surprised. I swear I saw her smirking. 

Arie is a man whore. 

Oh she totally could not keep a straight face.  I couldn't tell if it was because she knew it was coming or she was trying to hide her flattery over being chased.  In any event, it went over like a fart in church.  He was all set to declare his love and take no prisoners attitude with his chest all puffed up when talking to Arie.. and once Becca said you have no right to do this, he turns around and says I have no right being here.  lolol either Becca really does have him wrapped around her finger or they just had no idea how to ad lib some drama into this little set up.

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10 minutes ago, GracieK said:

I actually have doubts that he and Kendall had sex.

Well, there was a visual of a bee pollinating a flower after their overnight date. It's not as obvious as the train driving through a tunnel and erupting volcano visuals this show favors, but it was suggestive. ;) 

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Just now, chocolatine said:

Well, there was a visual of a bee pollinating a flower after their overnight date. It's not as obvious as the train driving through a tunnel and erupting volcano visuals this show favors, but it was suggestive. ;) 

lol.. yeah but I put zero stock into the editing on this show!  Of course they WANT us to think they did the deed.. that makes it the most DRAMATIC rose ceremony EVAH! :)

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20 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

It didn't sound like Leann to me. I'm not 100% sure how music royalties work, but my guess is that it's much cheaper to play a cover by a no-name singer. Even though Leann didn't write the song, she probably gets paid big bucks when her version is played.

I shazamed the song. It wasn't Leann Rimes. It was a cover from Laura Fleiss. "How do I Live"

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2 minutes ago, oakville said:

I shazamed the song. It wasn't Leann Rimes. It was a cover from Laura Fleiss. "How do I Live"

That's cool that Shazam can tell apart two women singing the same song. Or more than two, depending how many covers of the song there are.

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52 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

I just read on Twitter where Ross’s IG followers went from 5,000 to over 1.7 million! You go, Notebook guy!

I am totally convinced production contacted him and fed him some crap about Becca wanting him back. He seemed genuinely shocked. And I thought Becca didn’t even seem surprised. I swear I saw her smirking. 

Arie is a man whore. 

Wow...yeah this isn't the last we'll see of this guy.

I don't think Arie acted surprised either. I'm not sure how much they tell them but I've never thought the cast are ever totally surprised in these situations. I would think they would at least let them know they're getting ready to film. I just think there would be to much at stake to film a totally unprepared reaction. If it went badly they would lose all spontaneity if they had to refilm it. 

Edited by yorklee2
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I thought Kendall was the prettiest of the three women left.  It was even more noticeable the "morning after" with no makeup on. 

the way the show is edited, Arie spent a night with each woman, having sex in the fantasy suite.  Then, he decides Kendall didn't measure up, and she goes home.  It's never said, but isn't that what a woman would assume?  Already being in a "competition" to win the guy, if he leads you on until the sex, I mean fantasy suite, and cuts you right afterwards, it would feel like you came in third in the sex event of the competition.

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I knew Arie couldn't handle all the taxidermy, claims of "fun" notwithstanding!

I hope you at least got to visit Machu Picchu, Ross! You couldn't compete with a potential Reality TV Career, you Silly Wabbit!

But you served one purpose: To give Arie that one teeny excuse not to choose Becca. (I am totally Non-Spoilered, so just my prediction!)

But I think he should choose Becca, for she impresses me as being an actual adult woman. Lauren, to me, still speaks and acts like a girl. But a weird type of girl, not one who is interested in the larger world, but one who appears world-weary. I mean, come on; she seemed unimpressed even by the NAZCA LINES!!

Hey, wait! Did we see the previewed scene of endless sobbing and Arie walking out the door?

Check your recording devices, peeps; my Tivo Guide gives next week only two hours!

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32 minutes ago, GracieK said:

Oh she totally could not keep a straight face.  I couldn't tell if it was because she knew it was coming or she was trying to hide her flattery over being chased.  In any event, it went over like a fart in church.  He was all set to declare his love and take no prisoners attitude with his chest all puffed up when talking to Arie.. and once Becca said you have no right to do this, he turns around and says I have no right being here.  lolol either Becca really does have him wrapped around her finger or they just had no idea how to ad lib some drama into this little set up.

Guess we’ll never know the extent of the set up but the way Becca’s eyes went directly from Ross to the camera person behind him said something to me ... what? I’m not sure.  Also Becca’s “I knew you were going to do this.”  Everything else aside, she did seem totally over him to me.

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1 hour ago, escatefromny said:

That his first thought was that Ross’s feelings had nothing to do with Becca but are attributable to “competition”, that he wa dismissing their history and couldn’t conceive of feelings enduring for more than a year (!!!) and was so lacking in any shred of empathy for either of them.  Everything was through his own self absorbed and narcissist lens.  If he picks Becca, it will 100% be because he wanted to snatch the trophy from Ross.  What an ass!

I actually give Arie a pass here--and I'm not inclined to give him passes.  But this whole show is a competition.  Part of the reason all these women think they're in love with this dullard has to be because of the competition, right?  And yes, if he chooses Becca, competition might be a part of it.  He's a race car driver.  He's competitive. 

Honestly, I love Becca but competition is a big reason I think he showed up, behind potential reality star drama and being contacted by the producers.  I mean, he was with her for seven years.  They've been apart for a year and in the same country.  Yet just as she's potentially going to win The Bachelor or, if she loses, could potentially be chosen as the next bachelorette if it's not too late, he decides to show up?

2 hours ago, dizzyd said:

"The Unspoken connection" and "can't put it into words". So that's what they're calling their boring escapade? From 0 to I love yous with Leann Rimes to top it off. Whatever. I'm ready for this to be over.

I laughed out loud at "the unspoken connection" bit when thinking back on their dates full of silence.

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One more thought since I finished the last ten minutes of the episode. 

Oh how I'd wish they'd show more of what they showed between Arie and Kendall at the end of the episode.  Yeah maybe the "it's not stiff enough" and "that's what she said" are juvenile jokes but least there was personality there and a genuine sense of two people having fun.

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46 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

One more thought since I finished the last ten minutes of the episode. 

Oh how I'd wish they'd show more of what they showed between Arie and Kendall at the end of the episode.  Yeah maybe the "it's not stiff enough" and "that's what she said" are juvenile jokes but least there was personality there and a genuine sense of two people having fun.

That always seems to be the case! The little end sequence usually shows more personality and interesting moments than the entire episode. They should make an episode out of those “outtakes” rather than the mountain of meta-conversations that the editors/producers etc. seem to love so much. So boring!

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Arie really is a playa, isn't he?  Very disappointing.  Telling 3 women in a row that you're in love with them just to get them in the sack, and then moving on to the next one the very next day is pretty low.  If he was really in love with any of these women, he'd be miserable while on the dates with the other women.  Instead, he was like a shark, circling around for his next "kill".  Arie, don't you know that its this kind of behavior that causes these "putting walls up" issues that the women on this show are always trying to overcome?

Juan Pablo was also a dick on this show, but at least he was somewhat interesting.  Arie would be lucky to be called "bland".

The question all of "Bachelor Nation" is asking tonight:  Will Ross overcome his heartbreak from his break-up with Becca  and be willing to give love another try in time for this summer's BIP?

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3 hours ago, Mswldflwr said:

And the whole thing with the women jumping up on him and wrapping their legs around him, is that a show rule or something?  Gross.  I have never once done that in my whole life.  

You mean the "Bachelor Handshake"?  lololol?

Edited by Christi
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4 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

[...]

Becca’s ex straight out of central casting-looks like the high school quarterback in an ill fitting suit, ugly ass shoes and blue socks.

[...]

He was far more eloquent than Arie (not saying much) who is too unhip and naive to be the mayor of Weiner.

[...]

Kendall got a nice black dress and doesn’t have to go home to Arie’s Possum Kingdom. 

The most unintentionally hilarious moment for me tonight: 

Beefy Ross walks out of the room, his slightly-too-small suit ripples across his considerable frame, he crosses the common area, then he disappears. GrandPAssum's voiceover tells us he is PISSED! And he is ANGRY!

To express his rage, milquetoast, cardigan-loving Arie sneers, "Fucking nerd", to no one except the cameraman and the empty commons. 

LOL! ?

Edited by Scorpiosunshine
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Other than adding the I love you's is Arie really any different than any other bach/ette with the whole fantasy suite situation?  Not that I am saying I like the scenario at all because every season it grosses me out--but basically the bach/ette always takes the final three to the fantasy suite, and I love you's or not, they all go, and do who knows what.  I don't find him particularly more slimy because of it....  

Now, I did find Bob Guiney quite slimy--he totally creeped me out with the fantasy suite situation, lol.  

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5 hours ago, Scorpiosunshine said:

The most unintentionally hilarious moment for me tonight: 

Beefy Ross walks out of the room, his slightly-too-small suit ripples across his considerable frame, he crosses the common area, then he disappears. GrandPAssum's voiceover tells us he is PISSED! And he is ANGRY!

To express his rage, milquetoast, cardigan-loving Arie sneers, "Fucking nerd", to no one except the cameraman and the empty commons. 

LOL! ?

Yeah, that was the most tepid fit of pique I have ever seen in my life.  It was like watching a somnambulist get angry.....

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I personally thought Arie's repeated "I love you's" added some much-needed drama to what is always a somewhat predictable episode in the franchise. I could practically see the People magazine cover appear in a thought bubble above Lauren's head. The most interesting camera shot of the episode was actually seeing Lauren without gobs of mascara in the morning. She looks about 12 years old without it. 

And the appearance of Cro-Magnon Ex had me actually look up from my alternate entertainment screen and look at what was happening on the TV. That's two nights in a row now I've had to look at one of the Bachelor participants dressed in questionable, all-beige attire (Bibiana being the other). I felt really sorry for those flowers .... wrapped up in tinfoil and tragically ignored by both cast members. 

Well, now that Kendall is gone I imagine Tia is really shaking in her boots. She's probably calling up Mike Fleiss and tattling on Kendall as well saying she is not ready for marriage and therefore can't be considered for The Bachelorette. 

And the idea of sleeping overnight in that lone tent in the middle of nowhere? Sure, there were probably two or three ABC production vans there too, but no thank you. I would have been so scared.  Becca kind of got the short straw with that one. 

Arie has guaranteed a major meltdown next week from someone. And we can finally find out what is going on in the mid-century-modern house of grey couches and tears that they keep teasing us with. 

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11 hours ago, adhoc said:

Wow. I've heard online that Arie has cheated on his girlfriends in the past, but to see his MO in action--him saying "I love you" to two women in such a heartfelt and believable manner--that's just amazing. And not in a good way.

Added to Luke's sincere, teary eyed declarations of (fake) love to Stassi on Winter Games, I've lost all faith in my own BS detector.

11 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

too unhip and naive to be the mayor of Weiner. 

I'm using that forever, Mu Shu!

11 hours ago, chocolatine said:

And how stupid is Becca to have wasted seven years of her life on him?

Really.  I'm always amazed when beautiful young girls are willing to do that.

 

It's hard for me to see women through a man's eye, but I tried last night to guess who I might choose if I was in Arie's position and I surprised myself by picking...Lauren.  Kendall 's voice and rushed sentences are not things I can stand to listen to for five minutes, let alone a lifetime.  Becca, in spite of her sweet, natural personality always seems like that girl @Rainsong described so well as the one who comes down the aisle after her wedding ceremony, pumping her arm. There's just nothing the least bit romantic or mysterious about her and the way she lets her head fall back on her neck freaks me out a little. So it would be Lauren for me because she would just sit there looking pretty and I could pretend she agreed with everything I said.

Edited by JudyObscure
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The ease that Arie was throwing out “I love you’s“ seriously disturbed me. Either he really does not understand what it is to be in love (possible I guess) or he is just so used to whipping that phrase out to get women in bed that it doesn’t phase him anymore (more likely scenario). If I was the final chosen one and I just watched this there would be a Sadie shaped hole in the wall of me bolting on him. If I was any of these girls dad, Arie would have a serious ass whipping coming his way. I used to think he was harmless, I’m now convinced he is the most vile type of man. Regardless of who he picks I can say with certainty this douche bag will be single again by summer (by design),he wants to get married about as much as I want to get launched into space (which is not at all)!

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2 minutes ago, Rainsong said:

In which a professional driver isn’t allowed to drive in a place where there are no roads or speed limits, one fantasy suite involves no suite and even less fantasy, a taxidermist gets stuffed (cruel irony), a determined, devoted ex-boyfriend abandons his intercontinental quest after a bare minimum of effort, and declarations of love are delivered with all the emotional intensity and sincerity of an order placed at a Starbucks counter.

Jumbled impressions after a rather jumbled episode.

TB, in person and concept, takes a lot of grief for relying on this rather bizarre lab experiment to ‘find love’ while nevertheless reveling in a series of casual hookups.  If we accept the psychological consensus that men are prone to be more decisive even if the decision later proves erroneous then we must also accept that TB selects his desired final partner long before the last one or two episodes in which he’s portrayed as conflicted.  Compared to numerous past seasons, Becca and Lauren do seem more evenly matched but a 2-hour episode involving just 4 persons was stultifying even with the obviously-engineered Return of Ross.

Kendall:  first to go, last to know.  It doesn’t strike her as odd that they’re meeting in the middle of a barren wasteland when the only two possible outcomes are riding dune buggies or awaiting pickup by the alien mothership.  Real-time footage is nice to have but clipping GoPro cameras to the nose of snowboards-turned-duneboards might be excessive.  Once again we catch glimpse of just how large a crew is involved in a simple one-on-one date as they stand along the ridgeline.

Aside:  criticisms of the vacuous post-date conversations are fully justified.  ‘Today was fun.’  ‘Yeah, today WAS fun!’ etc. But it should be pointed out that the legal department are constantly sniffing around and, to paraphrase the standard film disclaimer, any references to actual persons, places or events are targeted for deletion lest a libel or other lawsuit is brought.  They may very well discuss music, celebrity gossip, family and friends, etc. but protection of the producers & network and protection of the privacy of others may often dictate the bare-bones nature of the exchanges. 

That said, the Kendall-Arie dynamic is an odd one in which both simultaneously attempt to convince their partner as well as themselves that they are developing feelings when they clearly are not.  Kudos to the poster above who noted the bee pollinating the flower in the morning but there was also a bird – a peacock no less – in the preceding shot!  Birds & bees. Aren’t they clever.  Kendall has avoided some of the worst girl-slang excesses so far but she’s slipped into the unfortunate habit of prefacing everything she says with ‘I feel like,’ occasionally extending it to ‘I feel like…like.’  It’s a shame for her because they were never a match and it’s a shame for the season because Arie intentionally chose someone he could cast aside without a second thought.

Onto the contenders…one internet sleuth spotted a swimsuit photo of Lauren who displayed some impressive washboard abs.  Her little crop-top number in the episode hints at it.  Some of the Bachelorettes eg Jenna and, of course, Krystal have made a big deal out of being gym rats but Lauren has been doing her share of crunches it seems.  Lauren notices an airplane behind Arie.  Can’t slip anything past the daughter of a Navy fighter jock!  Is Lauren popping a fistful of Xanax every morning or is she always this unimpressed with one-of-a-kind historical sites?  She stumbles into a rather inarticulate declaration of love but even the most keen-eyed viewer will have difficulty seeing any actual change in her demeanor.

Becca and Arie are best suited.  What that actually means in this hothouse is yet to be determined since Arie is fully capable of committing his own Ben Higgins Blunder.  A tent in the middle of the desert replete with pillows and candles (no doubt the health & safety staffer was a nervous wreck) may seem exotic but in my experience many (most?) females asked to camp, glamp or otherwise stay overnight in the out of doors concern themselves first and foremost with the availability and condition of bathroom facilities.  It stands to reason that a port-a-john (at worst) or even a fully-kitted camper or trailer would have stood nearby for such purposes but this puts a dent in the ‘two persons alone in the desert’ narrative – to say nothing of the need for lodgings for the crew who would have also been staying overnight a few yards away.

The clumsy parachuting of Ross into Peru and the risible story of how his ‘research’ led him to Becca have been examined humorously in detail upthread.  Waitaminute…his name is Ross?  I’m hearing someone shout ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK!’

Her body-language reaction is curious…she doesn’t seem all that surprised to see him, quite honestly.  Sitting down on a step while Ross towers above her is also curious…it’s a bit of a pout from her, really.  Despite the ostensible emotional impact of his visit and his request Becca isn’t turning on the waterworks as one might expect.  It is a little odd to hear Ross’ Southern drawl contrasted with Becca’s flat Midwestern vowels and it leads to wondering just how and where they met.

TB musical cues are an easy (and deserving) target of mockery but suddenly the music stops as lengthy unaccompanied camera shots of Arie et al are spliced together to pad out the overlong 2-hr window.

Kendall is cut loose (CH voice) IN THE MOST UNDRAMATIC DECISION IN BACHELOR HISTORY!  Even before Arie disappears in the rearview mirror Kendall regains her senses and knows she’s had a lucky escape.  She & her twin will have a right old laugh and a ‘What were you thinking?’ talk.

Lauren, swept away by the romantic tsunami, gripes that it’s hard to walk in heels on cobblestones at the RC.  She really does see the big picture doesn’t she?  One can only imagine the reprisals the first time Arie fails to load the dishwasher properly.  She’s taking ‘military brat’ to its figurative and literal extremes.

This post made my whole day complete!  Is there a “like times one million” button. This is why I love this forum more than puppies, or cake, or well most everything. Hahahahaha!

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Normally I really hate when people say someone has no personality because I'm like that's not possible, but Lauren sure is doing her level best to show me it is indeed possible. Also, she looks 12 without makeup on, so the scenes of her and Arie in bed were kinda giving me the heebie jeebies.

Becca looked awful for the nighttime portion of her date. She needs serious help on how to apply makeup. And do her hair. And dress herself. This show makes me so mean!

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Quote

A tent in the middle of the desert replete with pillows and candles (no doubt the health & safety staffer was a nervous wreck) may seem exotic but in my experience many (most?) females asked to camp, glamp or otherwise stay overnight in the out of doors concern themselves first and foremost with the availability and condition of bathroom facilities.

Rainsong, nice shout out to Doc Martin Season 8, in which Morwenna and Al go "glamping" to disastrous results!

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2 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

Arie has guaranteed a major meltdown next week from someone. And we can finally find out what is going on in the mid-century-modern house of grey couches and tears that they keep teasing us with. 

Love it!!

Agree with Jazzhands that Ross looked "like he was made out of steroids and barely suppressed rage."  And apparently we are right, judging from the content of The Ringer article that Dejana linked to, which said that "strength and conditioning coaches are the most maniacal people in the maniacal world of college football" (that is Ross's job).

Also agree with GracieK that Kendall and Arie discussed the whole break-up-at-rose-ceremony thing ahead of time, and are "just giving TPTB what they want with the drama.  They really looked at each other like, ok we have to pretend this is a tough goodbye right now."

Finally, I've said this before, but I don't think TPTB understand what their viewers really want.  As StatMom said, "The little end sequence usually shows more personality and interesting moments than the entire episode. They should make an episode out of those “outtakes” rather than the mountain of meta-conversations that the editors/producers etc. seem to love so much. So boring!"  And I remember a few seasons ago (don't remember which B'ette), they showed a scene of all the guys traveling on a rickety bus in-country somewhere, and it showed a lot of personality of the guys, and everyone here was remarking how much we preferred scenes like that.  Either TPTB doesn't get it, or we here on this site are not representative of typical Bach/ette fans!

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I really just hope that Arie saying he "loves" three of them isn't the MOST SHOCKING SPOILER IN THE HISTORY OF SPOILERS (per Reality Steve et al) because that would be a huge let down.  I'm staying non-spoiled for the first time in a long time and as a wrong reason watcher, I'm going to be sorely disappointed if that is it.  I'm hoping that all three of them dump him and he ends up marrying Courtney Robertson.  Or Krystal comes back and goes all Misery on him.

The tent looked really cool but sandy.  Sand and doing fiancee type stuff with Arie doesn't seem to mesh.  She didn't seem to be all surprised that Ross came back and her reaction was kind of muted.  I'd be pissed at the producers for allowing him to basically stalk me too.  Lauren is just.... basic?  But also super silently needy?  I don't get her appeal.   I adore Kendall but I agree with  a previous poster that they both knew nothing was going to happen and  he picked her because dumping Tia after Fantasy Suites would be devastating to his image.

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13 hours ago, phlebas said:

Congrats Arie.  You talked all three of them into bed. You slime mold.

Him and every other Bachelor except for Sean Lowe and also most of the Bachelorettes as well.  It IS the premise of the show.

  • Love 11
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I agree with everyone who says they should show more of the funny/ actually having personality moments of the show rather than the same boring " I really feel a connection with her and I can see myself having a future with this person". This show consists of the same lines EVERY SEASON. I stopped being interested in this show a while ago but find myself still watching it out of having nothing else to watch. The reason we never see or get any of the connections that people have on this show is because all they ever show are the contestants talking about how in love they are with each other, without actually showing us the things they love about each other ( fun moments, witty comments, etc).

  • Love 13
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13 hours ago, Diana Berry said:

I counted 14 "likes" from Lauren in that conversation with Arie on the bench.  Man that was painful.  Night of the living vocal fry.

Both Becca and Lauren are vocally fried and I notice Arie is also picking it up when around them, this is how it starts you pick it up from someone else.  Of course he dumped the only one without vocal fry.

  • Love 4
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1 hour ago, Rainsong said:

In which a professional driver isn’t allowed to drive in a place where there are no roads or speed limits, one fantasy suite involves no suite and even less fantasy, a taxidermist gets stuffed (cruel irony), a determined, devoted ex-boyfriend abandons his intercontinental quest after a bare minimum of effort, and declarations of love are delivered with all the emotional intensity and sincerity of an order placed at a Starbucks counter.

Jumbled impressions after a rather jumbled episode.

TB, in person and concept, takes a lot of grief for relying on this rather bizarre lab experiment to ‘find love’ while nevertheless reveling in a series of casual hookups.  If we accept the psychological consensus that men are prone to be more decisive even if the decision later proves erroneous then we must also accept that TB selects his desired final partner long before the last one or two episodes in which he’s portrayed as conflicted.  Compared to numerous past seasons, Becca and Lauren do seem more evenly matched but a 2-hour episode involving just 4 persons was stultifying even with the obviously-engineered Return of Ross.

Kendall:  first to go, last to know.  It doesn’t strike her as odd that they’re meeting in the middle of a barren wasteland when the only two possible outcomes are riding dune buggies or awaiting pickup by the alien mothership.  Real-time footage is nice to have but clipping GoPro cameras to the nose of snowboards-turned-duneboards might be excessive.  Once again we catch glimpse of just how large a crew is involved in a simple one-on-one date as they stand along the ridgeline.

Aside:  criticisms of the vacuous post-date conversations are fully justified.  ‘Today was fun.’  ‘Yeah, today WAS fun!’ etc. But it should be pointed out that the legal department are constantly sniffing around and, to paraphrase the standard film disclaimer, any references to actual persons, places or events are targeted for deletion lest a libel or other lawsuit is brought.  They may very well discuss music, celebrity gossip, family and friends, etc. but protection of the producers & network and protection of the privacy of others may often dictate the bare-bones nature of the exchanges. 

That said, the Kendall-Arie dynamic is an odd one in which both simultaneously attempt to convince their partner as well as themselves that they are developing feelings when they clearly are not.  Kudos to the poster above who noted the bee pollinating the flower in the morning but there was also a bird – a peacock no less – in the preceding shot!  Birds & bees. Aren’t they clever.  Kendall has avoided some of the worst girl-slang excesses so far but she’s slipped into the unfortunate habit of prefacing everything she says with ‘I feel like,’ occasionally extending it to ‘I feel like…like.’  It’s a shame for her because they were never a match and it’s a shame for the season because Arie intentionally chose someone he could cast aside without a second thought.

Onto the contenders…one internet sleuth spotted a swimsuit photo of Lauren who displayed some impressive washboard abs.  Her little crop-top number in the episode hints at it.  Some of the Bachelorettes eg Jenna and, of course, Krystal have made a big deal out of being gym rats but Lauren has been doing her share of crunches it seems.  Lauren notices an airplane behind Arie.  Can’t slip anything past the daughter of a Navy fighter jock!  Is Lauren popping a fistful of Xanax every morning or is she always this unimpressed with one-of-a-kind historical sites?  She stumbles into a rather inarticulate declaration of love but even the most keen-eyed viewer will have difficulty seeing any actual change in her demeanor.

Becca and Arie are best suited.  What that actually means in this hothouse is yet to be determined since Arie is fully capable of committing his own Ben Higgins Blunder.  A tent in the middle of the desert replete with pillows and candles (no doubt the health & safety staffer was a nervous wreck) may seem exotic but in my experience many (most?) females asked to camp, glamp or otherwise stay overnight in the out of doors concern themselves first and foremost with the availability and condition of bathroom facilities.  It stands to reason that a port-a-john (at worst) or even a fully-kitted camper or trailer would have stood nearby for such purposes but this puts a dent in the ‘two persons alone in the desert’ narrative – to say nothing of the need for lodgings for the crew who would have also been staying overnight a few yards away.

The clumsy parachuting of Ross into Peru and the risible story of how his ‘research’ led him to Becca have been examined humorously in detail upthread.  Waitaminute…his name is Ross?  I’m hearing someone shout ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK!’

Her body-language reaction is curious…she doesn’t seem all that surprised to see him, quite honestly.  Sitting down on a step while Ross towers above her is also curious…it’s a bit of a pout from her, really.  Despite the ostensible emotional impact of his visit and his request Becca isn’t turning on the waterworks as one might expect.  It is a little odd to hear Ross’ Southern drawl contrasted with Becca’s flat Midwestern vowels and it leads to wondering just how and where they met.

TB musical cues are an easy (and deserving) target of mockery but suddenly the music stops as lengthy unaccompanied camera shots of Arie et al are spliced together to pad out the overlong 2-hr window.

Kendall is cut loose (CH voice) IN THE MOST UNDRAMATIC DECISION IN BACHELOR HISTORY!  Even before Arie disappears in the rearview mirror Kendall regains her senses and knows she’s had a lucky escape.  She & her twin will have a right old laugh and a ‘What were you thinking?’ talk.

Lauren, swept away by the romantic tsunami, gripes that it’s hard to walk in heels on cobblestones at the RC.  She really does see the big picture doesn’t she?  One can only imagine the reprisals the first time Arie fails to load the dishwasher properly.  She’s taking ‘military brat’ to its figurative and literal extremes.

 

So awesome that you thought of that, rainsong!!!  I tried to insert a funny GIF but it didn't work!! 

Edited by crgirl412
I'm bad with technology!
  • Love 1
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3 hours ago, alexa said:

Other than adding the I love you's is Arie really any different than any other bach/ette with the whole fantasy suite situation?  Not that I am saying I like the scenario at all because every season it grosses me out--but basically the bach/ette always takes the final three to the fantasy suite, and I love you's or not, they all go, and do who knows what.  I don't find him particularly more slimy because of it....  

Now, I did find Bob Guiney quite slimy--he totally creeped me out with the fantasy suite situation, lol.  

I think his declaration of "I Love You" is pretty much signaling that the woman is his choice, that she can anticipate being the last one standing, with a diamond ring on her finger and a lifetime of "whatever happened to ______?" on magazine covers.  

I have no doubt that other Bachelors have indicated to one woman that she is his final choice, but Arie seemed to be telling that to all three women.  It seemed manipulative. 

13 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I agree with everyone who says they should show more of the funny/ actually having personality moments of the show rather than the same boring " I really feel a connection with her and I can see myself having a future with this person"

Yes, I want more of the "getting to know you" conversations and showing what happens PRIOR to the make-out sessions.  They never talk TO each other on dates, except in those vague, generic ways about their connection.   I wouldn't want to agree to marry someone without having conversations about 100 different things, not just how great the location is and how our relationship is growing.  There's not enough time to show everything, so how about not showing so much kissing? 

  • Love 10
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12 hours ago, backformore said:

"I'm in my head"

"I get in my head"

"I know you're in your head." 

I kind of get what "in my head"  means. I've probably experienced it myself.  But I can say with certainty, that I have never SAID to someone that I was "in my head" or that they were in theirs.  But these women sure spend a lot of time in their heads. 

Great observation! I enjoyed your post. I am trying to think how the English language is supposed to express this idea. "I think about all the things that can go wrong a lot"- is that what it means? "I worry about everything in our relationship might not work out".  Or: I'm in my head! I know you're always in your head! I can't help but be in my head all the time! ha ha ha ha ha

  • Love 2
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I think he loves Lauren, and was genuine the first couple times he said it. After that, I think he kept saying it because he was afraid she would leave and he really wanted to sleep with her, so he said it because he thought that's what she wanted to hear. 

My guess is that once he said it to Lauren producers intervened and told him to say it to the other women so that it wasn't so obvious who he picks. He actually says, "I'm falling in love with you" to Kendall, which could be interpreted as slightly less committed. And that makes sense considering he broke things off because they hadn't advanced. I disagree with Kendall, though, I don't think they needed more time. As someone else pointed out, they acted more like friends than bf/gf, and I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't actually sleep together. 

Becca is the biggest surprise. I wasn't paying too close attention on their date, but he didn't seem to have much eye contact with her and didn't seem that interested when they spoke. Contrast that with Lauren, where he's on the edge of his seat staring intently at her hoping she'll start making out with him. 

 

I think ink the only "shocking" thing that can happen at this point is if he doesn't pick Lauren (either picks Becca or rejects both women). Otherwise everything is filler. And maybe that's what Caroline refers to. That he slept with 2 or 3 women, talked about marriage and kids but then walked away without either relationship. That's pure speculation on my part, I haven't seen any spoilers. 

  • Love 5
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14 hours ago, Kendra143 said:

am watching this episode with such disgust for Arie. I can’t imagine either of the final two watching this season and feeling good about him and their interactions with him. Just ick. 

I don't see what the attraction to Arie is.

  • Love 6
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