Eh. I don’t know. My sister in law is a stay at home mom. She has four boys. She stopped working when she had her second. She always thought she would go back to work when they were all in school full time, but never did. Once they started school, they started activities, she got involved with volunteering at their schools, and there was always something to do. So she never went back. She’s not a princess sitting at home eating bon bone though. I mean, I’m not saying that never happens, but not on the regular.
Also I think a lot of the resentment towards nannies is cultural. I volunteer at a nursing home and my friend and I went there on Halloween with our kids to visit with the oldsters. The nurse who showed us around was from the Philippines and when she saw my friend had three kids she said in her country they would have a nanny for each kid. She wasn’t just talking about the super rich either. I think here in the US we just think we need to do it all on our own for it to “count”, or maybe we are a little resentful we can’t have more help. I know I am guilty of the latter sometimes since family all lives out of state and even out of the country.