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  1. Sister is wearing something from the Steve Irwin Collection.
  2. Katie’s type is apparently Cro-Magnon.
  3. I genuinely want to know—how were Woody and Soon-Yi ever allowed to adopt children?
  4. On a completely different note, I found Meghan’s vocal tic of ending most sentences with “Right?” very annoying and distracting. Right?
  5. Don’t the pageant women anchor those crowns with like 20 bobby pins? QV pulled it right out so easily. TOO easily. I’m suspicious...
  6. There is so much gross in this episode! 1. Don’t lean in for a kiss with YOUR MOUTH OPEN, MATT! 2. QV’s vocal fry. 3. Matt punning about “taking the reins” while on a horse. 4. Matt! Shut your mouth!!!
  7. Willem Dafoe + Arnold Schwarzenegger + not sure what else = the wedding photographer
  8. How are we supposed to snark and mock a show that needs a PSA at the end? No fun, show. When JoJo announced that time was up at the cocktail party it had the same delivery as a mom sending their kid to bed. “It’s time—no you cannot have 5 more minutes...” Also, can’t she just be “Jo” and not “JoJo”? Also Bennett said “It’s been a ‘world wind’.” Harvard? Why couldn’t HE have gotten the fake lie detector???
  9. I have so many questions and comments —“Chasen” is a fake, made up name —is “smokeshow” a compliment or an insult? —please don’t get rid of the mustache—he’s the only one I can tell apart from the others —is that a regulation body oil paintbrush? —in the lighting at the La Quinta, Tayshia’s teeth look like Ross from friends when he bleached his teeth
  10. Everyone, wait! According to the tag at the end they’ve been together for four DAYS! Don’t we all feel a little silly for thinking it wouldn’t last?
  11. “Your dad hitchhiked??? MY dad hitchhiked!!!! MARRY ME!”
  12. Clare to all the guys: “Enough about me. What do YOU think about me?”
  13. I think Susan is a character from The Carol Burnett Show.
  14. New champ’s shocked reaction to his win made me blurt out “calm down, Miss America.”
  15. I’m genuinely angry that Chris told Madison several times that “Peter ended his engagement...” He SO did NOT you shit stirrer!!!! I also want to thank all of you for all the funny, snarky, awesome comments. I hate this goddamn show, but I look forward to seeing you all every Monday night.
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