Joe & Kendra: Looking Forward To Side Hugs

[Temperance]

15 minutes ago, sixlets said:

Fundie Wiki puts her birth year as 1980, but the 19K&C Wiki has her birthday as 7/3/79.  Duggar Data has 1979 as well.  They were married January 1998 and had Kendra 8/11/98.  Tsk, tsk.

Duggar data is probably the most reliable of the three. 

8 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Yeah, Kendra was a bit premature, eh? 😂

Fundie wiki is right. Christina will turn 41 in a couple of weeks.

Although I guess fundie wiki is right?

Editing wait She must be in 1979, because she's turning 41. 1980 would make her currently 39 turning 40. Fundie wiki is wrong. 

Edited June 19, 2020 by Temperance

[PikaScrewChu]

12 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Yeah, Kendra was a bit premature, eh? 😂

Fundie wiki is right. Christina will turn 41 in a couple of weeks.

They say Kendra was born early because of the car accident Christina was in while pregnant with Kendra.

I'm doubtful. Daddy Caldwell seems to be the "Do as I say, not as I do" type.

I do feel for Kendra though. Those strict courtship rules were utter nonsense. Thankfully she and Joe seem happy (I suppose) but how do you even start to build trust in a relationship on what is/isn't acceptable when you go from barely touching to having sex in one night?

[Sew Sumi]

Oh, I misread which wiki gave her birthdate as 1979. My bad. Duggar Data and the Duggar wiki are correct.

[Ohiopirate02]

I still can't get over Mrs. Caldwell being 13 months older than me and a grandmother twice over.  If she is born in 1980 then she's a month older than me.  And I'm still single waiting on my Prince Charming.   Personally,  if I had to choose between Pastor Caldwell or a career, cats, and a BOB, I'll stick to my current path. 

[PikaScrewChu]

40 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I still can't get over Mrs. Caldwell being 13 months older than me and a grandmother twice over.  If she is born in 1980 then she's a month older than me.  And I'm still single waiting on my Prince Charming.   Personally,  if I had to choose between Pastor Caldwell or a career, cats, and a BOB, I'll stick to my current path. 

I find myself getting frustrated seeing these nitwits get married, have half-decent/nice houses, and pregnant. Then I take a step back and realize the men these women are marrying and what they have to sacrifice. If Pa Caldwell was to drop dead tomorrow, Ma would have to find a way to step up to the plate. I'm going to hazard a guess she has never had a career of her own or the opportunity to build a skill/trade that could provide for the family if anything were to happen to her husband.

Maybe I'm in the better position overall. 

[Sew Sumi]

She had a baby at 19 and was off to the races. She's had no time to carve out any sort of life for just herself. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Thankfully she and Joe seem happy (I suppose) but how do you even start to build trust in a relationship on what is/isn't acceptable when you go from barely touching to having sex in one night?

While I do think the courtship rules were utter NONSENSE, and of course I respect anyone who wants to wait until they are married for sexual activity, I know everyone does not got from 0 to sex in one night. 
 

From what I heard of actual people I know (who are my age to 20yrs older) who either had arranged marriages or grew up fundy, some people did, others got to know each other better before they became more physically intimate, not having intercourse until months later. 
 

I think it really depends on the couple and what they want. Joe and Kendra had known each other and were clearly attracted to each other so they were probably more comfortable having sex than others might be. Joe doesn’t seem like the type who would rape or coerce his wife or anything like that. And I think he and Kendra would be able to talk about things. They did seem to actually like each other. 
 

And also non fundies go from having just met someone to having sex with them in the same night, that drive for partnered sex can be REALLY strong in some people. 

 

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I still can't get over Mrs. Caldwell being 13 months older than me and a grandmother twice over.  If she is born in 1980 then she's a month older than me.  And I'm still single waiting on my Prince Charming.   Personally,  if I had to choose between Pastor Caldwell or a career, cats, and a BOB, I'll stick to my current path. 

I’m sure your life is much more fulfilling. 
 

Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to be a wife and a mother, but I don’t believe Mrs Caldwell CHOOSE this. She was a BABY when she got married and had Kendra. And unlike a lot of teen parents who do end up raising their kids, they are DONE young and then have their 40s and 50s to be self indulgent. Mrs Caldwell will be caregiving until she needs a caregiver. 

[galaxychaser]

44 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I find myself getting frustrated seeing these nitwits get married, have half-decent/nice houses, and pregnant. Then I take a step back and realize the men these women are marrying and what they have to sacrifice. If Pa Caldwell was to drop dead tomorrow, Ma would have to find a way to step up to the plate. I'm going to hazard a guess she has never had a career of her own or the opportunity to build a skill/trade that could provide for the family if anything were to happen to her husband.

Maybe I'm in the better position overall. 

What career? They are home schooled poorly on top of it all. None of these women would get a job anywhere. Maybe as caretakers or something. They are unskilled even for Walmart. I’m not jealous of their lives at all. By now if I was Kendra I’d be up to kid #9. No thanks.

[PikaScrewChu]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

While I do think the courtship rules were utter NONSENSE, and of course I respect anyone who wants to wait until they are married for sexual activity, I know everyone does not got from 0 to sex in one night. 
 

From what I heard of actual people I know (who are my age to 20yrs older) who either had arranged marriages or grew up fundy, some people did, others got to know each other better before they became more physically intimate, not having intercourse until months later. 
 

I think it really depends on the couple and what they want. Joe and Kendra had known each other and were clearly attracted to each other so they were probably more comfortable having sex than others might be. Joe doesn’t seem like the type who would rape or coerce his wife or anything like that. And I think he and Kendra would be able to talk about things. They did seem to actually like each other. 
 

And also non fundies go from having just met someone to having sex with them in the same night, that drive for partnered sex can be REALLY strong in some people. 

And that's totally fair. But with the Duggarlings (maybe with the exception of the Vuolos, and now in hindsight I'm skeptical) there is this drive to get pregnant ASAP. They legitimately are not given the time and space to figure things out for themselves. By the time they get around to it, they're in one baby deep. Now bless his heart, I think there isn't much in the cavity space where Joe's brain should be and I don't think he would be abusive but been wrong before on the Duggars. But if you're going to be with someone supposedly for the rest of your life, surely you should be able to set boundaries and trust with your future spouse without your parents interfering. If you can't be trusted to do that, you're too damn immature to be getting married.

Some people make it work, sure. But the stance the Caldwells (and to a similar extent the Duggars) take it is unrealistic. Not being able to build realistic trust and expectations until that marriage certificate is signed is absolutely mind boggling for people who claim marriage is such a sacred institution. If it was, they wouldn't be rushing the vast majority of their offspring through warp speed courtships and engagements. They would actually trust them to learn, make mistakes, and experience things together. I'm in a very small minority who believes a couple doesn't need to have sex before marriage in order to have a successful marriage. But there are other things that do matter and fundies seem to be actively against trusting their children.

Edited June 19, 2020 by PikaScrewChu

[Temperance]

It's hard to say about Kendra's mother. Most of the people in her age group are first-generation fundie, meaning their parents and grandparents were probably religious and not necessarily fundie growing up. Mrs. Caldwell could have a high school diploma, and she may have just married Paul at a young age. There are places where getting married young is normal. 

She is around Jill R's age though and Jill R is second-generation fundie. 

[Sew Sumi]

There's been no mention of Kendra being a premie, so it can be safely assumed that Paul and Christina had pre-marital sex. They couldn't have been *that* fundie. They obviously didn't have chaperones. 😁

[Ijustwantsomechips]

14 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I still can't get over Mrs. Caldwell being 13 months older than me and a grandmother twice over.  If she is born in 1980 then she's a month older than me.  And I'm still single waiting on my Prince Charming.   Personally,  if I had to choose between Pastor Caldwell or a career, cats, and a BOB, I'll stick to my current path. 

If she was born in 1980, than she’s barely older than me (I arrived in 1981), and although I’m finally trying (really, really hard BTW) to have a baby, I don’t have any.  Do I recommend waiting until you’re 39 to have a baby? HELL NO!  My fertility is in the toilet, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have kids.   OTOH I wouldn’t necessarily want a house full of kids and grandkids at this age either.  In the end I know waiting to get the Ph.D., career and house was worth it, but it sucks I may have waited too long. 

The good news is the sister isn’t likely to have a baby before the age 21.  

[Ijustwantsomechips]

10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

There's been no mention of Kendra being a premie, so it can be safely assumed that Paul and Christina had pre-marital sex. They couldn't have been *that* fundie. They obviously didn't have chaperones. 😁

If I had to venture a guess I would say they got married so young because Christina was pregnant.  Especially if Pa Caldwell was as “religious” back then as he is now.  That happened to a college friend of mine. She and her boyfriend, a minister in training, went to their pastor’s house and demanded he marry them the day she confirmed her pregnancy.  It was the only way to save face for the church elders. 

[Barb23]

My son met his girlfriend on line & they had just started going out right before the Covid isolation started in March. Their first date was dinner at a nice restaurant.  Their second one was just when social distancing became a thing so they got carryout & ate at a park.  It was  full speed isolation after that so they had virtual visits, texts & phone calls.  They are back to seeing one another in person again.  

I happened to think that a wedding could possibly be in the horizon for them if we were Fundies or Duggars. The "getting to know you" stage would have been March & on line before that.  They could have started an official courtship in April with a marriage proposal coming in July followed by an October wedding three months later. **

Oh my, all that happening so quickly makes my head spin but that is the norm for these people.

** I just remembered at this point I could add on a pregnancy with a honeymoon baby but am hoping they would wait.

Edited June 19, 2020 by Barb23

[galaxygirl76]

15 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

She was a BABY when she got married and had Kendra. And unlike a lot of teen parents who do end up raising their kids, they are DONE young and then have their 40s and 50s to be self indulgent. Mrs Caldwell will be caregiving until she needs a caregiver. 

And her daughter is going to be doing the same thing. 

[Temperance]

Kendra's mother, Christine Caldwell was most likely born in 1979, not 1980.

[Sew Sumi]

Here's a pic of Christina's mother. That dress is awfully fundie looking, but they could have been later converts. 

 

[madpsych78]

I mean, shoot, even Christina's mother looks young, and she's a great-grandmother!

[Sew Sumi]

48 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

I mean, shoot, even Christina's mother looks young, and she's a great-grandmother!

She's probably barely 60.

[zenme]

She’d look younger if she grew her bangs out and cut several inches off her hair. Lauren is a cute girl. 

[VioletWitch]

 

[BigBingerBro]

Now those are some white kids!

[Temperance]

When's the last time we saw Kendra and Joe?

The kids are cute. Sorry about the cult!

[Snow Fairy]

That kid's suit just does not look very good on Garret. Please dress him in something more appropriate

[galaxychaser]

2 kids who escaped the Duggar looks ! Yay!

[dargosmydaddy]

Ooh, I see a lot of Joe in Garrett. Addison is all Kendra, though, at least for now. 

[JoanArc]

16 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

Ooh, I see a lot of Joe in Garrett. Addison is all Kendra, though, at least for now. 

 I agree, Garrett is a howler 2.0.

[Quof]

9 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

That kid's suit just does not look very good on Garret

The jacket is what a ringbearer would wear for an outdoor summer wedding. But not with brown cargo pants. 

[PikaScrewChu]

Garrett is a mini Joe, right down to the hairline. 

Let's see how long the Caldwell genes win out over the Duggar genes for Addison. It seems like a switch flips around 2-3 years old and the Duggar genes take over. The only ones I don't immediately see Duggar in are Felicity and a couple of the M'Kids.

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Garrett is a mini Joe, right down to the hairline. 

Let's see how long the Caldwell genes win out over the Duggar genes for Addison. It seems like a switch flips around 2-3 years old and the Duggar genes take over. The only ones I don't immediately see Duggar in are Felicity and a couple of the M'Kids.

Also, Izzy is practically a clone of Derick, though I remember how many of us thought he looked exactly like JB when he was born.  I guess it went the other way round with him.

Agreed that Garrett is a Mini-Joe, but I also see Kendra's sweetness in his face, which could just be a matter of personality, but I think he may end up looking a bit more like her around the edges as he gets older. Maybe he'll manage to avoid the Duggar hairline; don't genes for baldness pass through the mother's side?

[PikaScrewChu]

33 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Also, Izzy is practically a clone of Derick, though I remember how many of us thought he looked exactly like JB when he was born.  I guess it went the other way round with him.

Agreed that Garrett is a Mini-Joe, but I also see Kendra's sweetness in his face, which could just be a matter of personality, but I think he may end up looking a bit more like her around the edges as he gets older. Maybe he'll manage to avoid the Duggar hairline; don't genes for baldness pass through the mother's side?

I would have agreed on Izzy initially but seeing pictures of him and Jill at the same age side by side, they look very similar.

Baldness is also a variety of genetic factors. It's not just inherited from the mother. The Duggar grandsons may end up with the cursed hairline. 

[Zella]

3 hours ago, Quof said:

The jacket is what a ringbearer would wear for an outdoor summer wedding. But not with brown cargo pants. 

I initially read this as the jacket a ringmaster would wear for an outdoor summer circus, and I was kind of excited for the potential zaniness. LOL 

[jcbrown]

8 hours ago, Quof said:

The jacket is what a ringbearer would wear for an outdoor summer wedding. But not with brown cargo pants. 

Well they do things a little different [sic].

5 hours ago, Zella said:

I initially read this as the jacket a ringmaster would wear for an outdoor summer circus, and I was kind of excited for the potential zaniness. LOL 

I do like the way you think.

[Nysha]

Poor Garret looks like he has the Duggar hair line, but I think that's because his sides are a lot shorter than the top. I bet the suit jacket was a hand-me-down from his uncles or possibly his dad.

As for Izzy, I think Jill's face and Derick's face are the same shape so Izzy looks like both of them. Sam seems to have gotten a rounder face.

[VioletWitch]

James is pictured. Gives some meaning behind those Lauren Caldwell courtship rumors...

 

[emma675]

Is the baby in a...laundry basket in one of those pics??

[Gweilo]

I think so, and it's an excellent parenting hack 🙂 

[Zella]

I can't judge the laundry basket. I used one as a pen for my Chihuahua when he was a puppy, and it worked pretty well for corralling him until he got big enough to need a crate. Unfortunately, that means as an adult he still sees them and thinks they're home and will try to vault into them. LOL

[Heathen]

On 6/19/2020 at 2:59 PM, madpsych78 said:

I mean, shoot, even Christina's mother looks young, and she's a great-grandmother!

It's the genes and face. Kendra and the women in her family will look young when they're old. Then there is Nathan Keller, who is barely old enough to drink, but is already really wrinkly and looks far older than his age. 

[Temperance]

3 hours ago, VioletWitch said:

James is pictured. Gives some meaning behind those Lauren Caldwell courtship rumors...

 

Except I don't see Lauren Caldwell there. There are quite a few Caldwells missing, both of Kendra's sisters, her mother, and one brother. The Caldwells have 8 kids including Kendra, 5 boys and 3 girls.  I count 4 boys on the boat aside from the father, James, Joseph, and Garrett Duggar. The only females present seem to be Kendra and her daughter Addison. Addison is the youngest and doesn't have a life preserver. 

I can't tell if Kendra is pregnant. I was beginning to think she was hiding for the next announcement. 

I had to keep scrolling back and forth to figure that last picture is Joe and Garrett. 

[graybrown bird]

It's interesting that at least some of the adults are wearing hats and sunglasses but the little kids are not.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

12 hours ago, emma675 said:

Is the baby in a...laundry basket in one of those pics??

Laundry hampers also make an excellent bath seat in a pinch since those old school ones got banned years ago. I’m sure this is something Kendra learned from her mom, and if it keeps little Addison safe and secure, then I’m all for it. The last thing I’d want is a baby scooting around on a moving boat. 

[GeeGolly]

My mom had 4 kids in 6.5 years. I'm the youngest of four, on the rare occasion my mother had to four of us at once, while I was a baby, she put me in a laundry basket. This is long before seat belts and car seats. And because my parents only had one car for a time, this rarely happened. But it did.

I think bringing it on the boat was a good idea. If Addie napped she would be tucked out of the way without being stepped on or sliding off a seat.

[emma675]

I learn something new from this group everyday! My mom never put us in a laundry basket but she did put us in those baby play pens that were slightly off the ground (my brother was an escape artist and she turned one upside down and put encyclopedias on top to keep him from getting out when she needed him to stay in one place).

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

I learn something new from this group everyday! My mom never put us in a laundry basket but she did put us in those baby play pens that were slightly off the ground (my brother was an escape artist and she turned one upside down and put encyclopedias on top to keep him from getting out when she needed him to stay in one place).

I used playpens for my sons.  Granted, it was the olden days and Cosco came out with the mesh one.  And get this, no one told us not to, but we put the seat down in the station wagon and put the two of them in the playpen back there on a cross country trip!  I don't think we were the only ones to do this.  I'm sure none of the Duggars have tried this.  Or at least publicized it.  I like the laundry basket idea.  I might have seen it around the inter webs.

[crazy8s]

my son uses a laundry basket to keep a 1yr old in place while he folds laundry. he dumps the laundry on a bed or sofa and sets her in the basket with a toy or 2 and a few pieces of laundry. she is happy and contained, he gets laundry folded. everyone is happy. this is their 4th child and I have seen kids who are climbers before but this one is crazy fast and she gets up on things you wouldn't imagine, but she hasn't figured out how to get out of the basket yet.

Edited August 11, 2020 by crazy8s

[Chicklet]

Everyone I know has put their kid in a laundry basket, for fun or to keep them in one place. Beats blanket training any day.

i hope those kids had SPF a billion sunscreen because they are so fair. 

[ginger90]

 

[QuinnInND]

 

[galaxychaser]

They look happy! 22 and celebrated her birthday with no alcohol. I barely drink but even I have a drink or 2 on my birthday.