Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp

[Scarlett45]

12 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

And I agree with you - but their wheelhouse doesn’t provide for anything but unprotected intercourse and so unless they don’t participate or one of them uses something, there will be more babies whether they want them or not. But then how did they manage to skip a year between babies?  They had to either avoid each other or use some kind of family planning. 

Anna’s kids are all roughly two years a part. That’s likely due to a combination of pregnancy taking 40 weeks (so no conception), abstenince after the birth due to medical necessity, Anna not ovulating due to lacation for a certain period of time AND standard “probably of pregnancy each month having intercourse x number of times”. I don’t think it’s family planning on their part just biology. 

[libgirl2]

12 hours ago, mousegirl said:

Regarding the Gone With the Wind reference, if my memory of the book serves, Melanie died at the end because of a pregnancy her body couldn't handle.  Ashley did NOT restrain himself, although I seem to remember that she did not want to resist him anyway, that she was deeply and passionately in love with him and definitely wanted another child.  (It's been a long time since I last read the book - I really despise the Scarlett O'Hara character - so I may have forgotten some elements of the story).

Having read the book many times, yes Melanie died in childbirth (or miscarriage) and had wanted another child. I remember the scene when Bonnie Blue Butler dies and Melanie tells Rhett she is pregnant. She is smiling knowing she very happy to be pregnant but Rhett is concerned for her. 

Edited November 27, 2018 by libgirl2

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

Having read the book many times, yes Melanie died in childbirth (or miscarriage) and had wanted another child. I remember the scene when Bonnie Blue Butler dies and Melanie tells Rhett she is pregnant. She is smiling knowing she very happy to be pregnant but Rhett is concerned for her. 

 

Right!!! The part I referenced was when Bonnie was still a baby, and Mammy pointed out that Scarlett had gained weight. This led to a snap decision of no more babies, when Rhett said he would step out (like @Scarlett45 said, men could get sex elsewhere back then in ways women couldn't; at least rich men. I suppose men who were too poor to afford a prostitute were also up the creek if they couldn't have sex with their wife). At that time, Scarlett idolized Ashley so much, and since they hadn't had another baby, she probably just assumed he was a saintly man who would abstain, as I doubt proper melanie was giving Scarlett explicit info about their sex life. She didn't find out Saint Ashley indeed had relations with his wife until Bonnie's death. And @Scarlett45, I always wondered if that's where your username came from!!!! I'm a huge fan too, and basically had no chance otherwise, as my family loves the story too. 

I agree that it just sucks for Anna either way! Josh likely avoids her to some extent (in the past to visit hookers and avoid children; now to avoid children), and that completely goes against the cult's agenda. All Anna was told before marriage was that she had to do it as much as her husband wanted, but I don't think these girls ever consider the flip side of that. A husband who doesn't desire intimacy with them is a totally foreign idea. Something tells me lauren may be finding out that this is a reality, too!

i too think Derick is a cold fish, and I have thought that even before he became so odious. It's totally conjecture, with absolutely no proof, but he just doesn't give me sexual vibes. I know you can't tell that about someone through television, but in my defense, I have been with a cold fish before, and I'm getting similar vibes here. I do think he was really excited about his honeymoon, and maybe the first six months to a year of marriage, as any virgin in their twenties would be. If Derick is a cold fish, I doubt he knew he'd be that way until after the honeymoon period. He seems to me like one of those people with a lower sex drive than usual anyway, and also can't do it with someone he doesn't respect (Jill). I see Jeremy as opposite, thinking, "she's sheltered, uneducated, and inexperienced; lucky she's with the best!" The other husbands, sans Josiah, I'd imagine having a normal sex life, without their wife's ignorance influencing it in any way; they give me the vibe that they want sex, and seem to love their wife as a person, with shortcomings like everyone else. I don't see Bin, for example, not able to have sex with Jessa because she's uneducated, the way I could see with Derick and Jill. Disclaimer: I might be reading the Derick situation completely wrong. I have no proof of this; I have just always pegged him as a cold fish! At the very least, he alone controls reproduction, as he kind of informed Jill they would have a baby the year they had Sammy, and he has to control that somehow!

Edited November 27, 2018 by Christina87
Confusing wording

[Scarlett45]

@Christina87 I agree with you about Derrick. Of course there’s nothing wrong with a man having a lower sex drive (doesn’t mean he doesn’t love is his wife or is less manly etc etc) but Derrick is likely the type to not consider Jill’s sexual needs AT ALL. He’s just so mean and arrogant it’s got to be his way or the highway.

 Since this is the Joy and Austin thread I think the same is probably true of Austin. While he’s likely to be a consistent provider, he doesn’t strike me as emotionally intimate OR considerate of Joy’s needs (compared to say a Ben or even Jeremy, who I think is nice to Jinger because she is a person and his wife). 

I still do NOT understand why they are living in an RV. Austin was REQUIRED to flip five houses before he could marry- my heathen self saw this as his Dad making sure he had a nest egg to provide for a wife and children. Is he just super duper cheap?!!!

[Barb23]

21 hours ago, Absolom said:

Yeah the Lord will give JOY what she needs to cope.  When Austin isn't given what he needs to cope, the kid train will stop.  I don't think family life is quite what he thought it was.  

Especially after having to take care of Joy & Giddyup right after her C-section.   

[madpsych78]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I agree that it just sucks for Anna either way! Josh likely avoids her to some extent (in the past to visit hookers and avoid children; now to avoid children), and that completely goes against the cult's agenda. All Anna was told before marriage was that she had to do it as much as her husband wanted, but I don't think these girls ever consider the flip side of that. A husband who doesn't desire intimacy with them is a totally foreign idea. Something tells me lauren may be finding out that this is a reality, too!

i too think Derick is a cold fish, and I have thought that even before he became so odious. It's totally conjecture, with absolutely no proof, but he just doesn't give me sexual vibes. I know you can't tell that about someone through television, but in my defense, I have been with a cold fish before, and I'm getting similar vibes here. I do think he was really excited about his honeymoon, and maybe the first six months to a year of marriage, as any virgin in their twenties would be. If Derick is a cold fish, I doubt he knew he'd be that way until after the honeymoon period. He seems to me like one of those people with a lower sex drive than usual anyway, and also can't do it with someone he doesn't respect (Jill). I see Jeremy as opposite, thinking, "she's sheltered, uneducated, and inexperienced; lucky she's with the best!" The other husbands, sans Josiah, I'd imagine having a normal sex life, without their wife's ignorance influencing it in any way; they give me the vibe that they want sex, and seem to love their wife as a person, with shortcomings like everyone else. I don't see Bin, for example, not able to have sex with Jessa because she's uneducated, the way I could see with Derick and Jill. Disclaimer: I might be reading the Derick situation completely wrong. I have no proof of this; I have just always pegged him as a cold fish! At the very least, he alone controls reproduction, as he kind of informed Jill they would have a baby the year they had Sammy, and he has to control that somehow!

Honestly I think the husbands who are the most into their wives and genuinely happy are Joe, Jeremy, and Ben. And perhaps JD, but they are still very newly married.

I think Derick is a cold fish too, but not because Jill is uneducated. Maybe he's closeted as well (hence the rumors from when he was in DA). I feel like I would put him on par with Austin sexually, even though Austin hasn't been nearly as offensive through social media. I don't see either of them wanting a lot of kids (mostly because neither of them have a lot of experience with kids in contrast with any of the Duggar sons or Ben), and both may value other things as a higher priority than sex. In Austin's case I feel like he values work above everything else, whereas who knows with Derick (although it is certainly not work). 

[Christina87]

29 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

Honestly I think the husbands who are the most into their wives and genuinely happy are Joe, Jeremy, and Ben. And perhaps JD, but they are still very newly married.

I think Derick is a cold fish too, but not because Jill is uneducated. Maybe he's closeted as well (hence the rumors from when he was in DA). I feel like I would put him on par with Austin sexually, even though Austin hasn't been nearly as offensive through social media. I don't see either of them wanting a lot of kids (mostly because neither of them have a lot of experience with kids in contrast with any of the Duggar sons or Ben), and both may value other things as a higher priority than sex. In Austin's case I feel like he values work above everything else, whereas who knows with Derick (although it is certainly not work). 

"Although it is certainly not work"...HAHAHAHA thanks for the laugh!!!! You win the internet today!

i definitely see Derick as one of those people who, like you said, just doesn't prioritize sex. Without getting too personal, that's how the guy I dated was...super into it at first, but as he newness wore off, it just wasn't something he needed. It was like eating chocolate...you better believe I'm gonna eat it every day (lol not a euphemism...chocoholic here!), but some people just don't crave it, and may enjoy a nice chocolate cake once a year or so, when they're really feeling it. I also think most people aren't aware they're like this until they're married or in a long-term relationship, since sex always looks enticing from the outside looking in. Everyone probably thought they'd have sex every day of their marriage when they were fifteen! I see Derick very much not preferring the, ummm, chocolate, as well as having zero regard for Jill's needs, as @Scarlett45 said. Plus I wouldn't be surprised if his impatience with Jill's ignorance has just built up so far that it's turned into disgust, making it the perfect storm of bad things. Nor would I honestly rule out the gay rumors either. Derick is precisely the kind of person who WOULD hide it and denounce gay people if that were true. 

You guys bring up a good point about Austin. I'd never thought of him being like that too, but now I could totally see it. It doesn't take much of a reach to imagine him literally being too tired for it, as he actually does work hard all day. He's also all about the gothard doctrine, and I believe he 100% wouldn't want more children than he could support, so that could mean very little sex. Beyond that, though, Austin seems to have a very austere, self-sacrificing air about him. He seems the type to wake up with the flu and think, "man up, dude! Sick days are for wimps. You gotta do this construction or you'll be a bad provider." He was able to put his goal of marriage off for many, many years while working and flipping houses, so I could see him developing some perspective on delaying gratification. For example, my last serious boyfriend's mom was SHOCKED when I told her I'd have no problem with him going on week-long golf trips (two a year) if we were married. I knew for a fact it was all guys going, and that they weren't up to any trouble. I also felt like he worked hard to afford those trips, and deserved two weeks a year of doing what he really loved. She kept saying, "but that is just so long! Wouldn't you get lonely?!" I just wanted to shout, "lady!!! I've been single for years before I met him, and we don't even live together now! I'm used to spending every single day and night alone. Eating every meal alone. Waking up every morning alone. Fixing everything that goes wrong in my apartment alone. If I were married, I could easily handle one week!!! When you've lived alone forever, how would it be such torture to go back to that for a week?! At least I'd have him there every other week!" That's how I could see Austin being, but with sex. He has the perspective and discipline to think, "well, I never got to have sex when I was single. As a married guy, at least I get it during her least fertile times, when I'm not too tired. I may be horny tonight, but whatever; the world isn't ending. I can do it next week."

hahahaha it's so funny that we are speculating on the sex lives of total strangers, but somehow it's a super interesting discussion! LOL!

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, Christina87 said:

"Although it is certainly not work"...HAHAHAHA thanks for the laugh!!!! You win the internet today!

i definitely see Derick as one of those people who, like you said, just doesn't prioritize sex. Without getting too personal, that's how the guy I dated was...super into it at first, but as he newness wore off, it just wasn't something he needed. It was like eating chocolate...you better believe I'm gonna eat it every day (lol not a euphemism...chocoholic here!), but some people just don't crave it, and may enjoy a nice chocolate cake once a year or so, when they're really feeling it. I also think most people aren't aware they're like this until they're married or in a long-term relationship, since sex always looks enticing from the outside looking in. Everyone probably thought they'd have sex every day of their marriage when they were fifteen! I see Derick very much not preferring the, ummm, chocolate, as well as having zero regard for Jill's needs, as @Scarlett45 said. Plus I wouldn't be surprised if his impatience with Jill's ignorance has just built up so far that it's turned into disgust, making it the perfect storm of bad things. Nor would I honestly rule out the gay rumors either. Derick is precisely the kind of person who WOULD hide it and denounce gay people if that were true. 

You guys bring up a good point about Austin. I'd never thought of him being like that too, but now I could totally see it. It doesn't take much of a reach to imagine him literally being too tired for it, as he actually does work hard all day. He's also all about the gothard doctrine, and I believe he 100% wouldn't want more children than he could support, so that could mean very little sex. Beyond that, though, Austin seems to have a very austere, self-sacrificing air about him. He seems the type to wake up with the flu and think, "man up, dude! Sick days are for wimps. You gotta do this construction or you'll be a bad provider." He was able to put his goal of marriage off for many, many years while working and flipping houses, so I could see him developing some perspective on delaying gratification. For example, my last serious boyfriend's mom was SHOCKED when I told her I'd have no problem with him going on week-long golf trips (two a year) if we were married. I knew for a fact it was all guys going, and that they weren't up to any trouble. I also felt like he worked hard to afford those trips, and deserved two weeks a year of doing what he really loved. She kept saying, "but that is just so long! Wouldn't you get lonely?!" I just wanted to shout, "lady!!! I've been single for years before I met him, and we don't even live together now! I'm used to spending every single day and night alone. Eating every meal alone. Waking up every morning alone. Fixing everything that goes wrong in my apartment alone. If I were married, I could easily handle one week!!! When you've lived alone forever, how would it be such torture to go back to that for a week?! At least I'd have him there every other week!" That's how I could see Austin being, but with sex. He has the perspective and discipline to think, "well, I never got to have sex when I was single. As a married guy, at least I get it during her least fertile times, when I'm not too tired. I may be horny tonight, but whatever; the world isn't ending. I can do it next week."

hahahaha it's so funny that we are speculating on the sex lives of total strangers, but somehow it's a super interesting discussion! LOL!

(Bolding mine) I’m 33 and say if I were married I’d be having sex every day! Or every other day!! I kid, I kid- as a singleton I think married people get it on all the time, cause you know it’s right there in the house, you dint even need to send a text, but all my married friends SWEAR this isn’t true. 

Of course you can never know what goes on behind closed doors, you theories about Austin are right on the money. He seems very austere and emotionally steady. I don’t think he’s cruel or anything, but if you’re a woman that wants lots of emotional display of affection I don’t think an Austin type would be the man for you. Based on what we’ve seen of Joy, I think physical touch is one of her primarily love languages, and growing up in the family she did, being molested by Josh poor thing, she was probably touch deprived for a long time- they’ve only been married a year and a half and Austin looks annoyed with her affection sometimes. I do understand, I personally am NOT a touchy person, although I have a decently high sex drive/enjoyment of partnered sex, so if I were to marry/partner a guy wanting me to cuddle and be affectionate with him all the time would drive me batty. 

[Loves2Dance]

9 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

(Bolding mine) I’m 33 and say if I were married I’d be having sex every day! Or every other day!! I kid, I kid- as a singleton I think married people get it on all the time, cause you know it’s right there in the house, you dint even need to send a text, but all my married friends SWEAR this isn’t true. 

Of course you can never know what goes on behind closed doors, you theories about Austin are right on the money. He seems very austere and emotionally steady. I don’t think he’s cruel or anything, but if you’re a woman that wants lots of emotional display of affection I don’t think an Austin type would be the man for you. Based on what we’ve seen of Joy, I think physical touch is one of her primarily love languages, and growing up in the family she did, being molested by Josh poor thing, she was probably touch deprived for a long time- they’ve only been married a year and a half and Austin looks annoyed with her affection sometimes. I do understand, I personally am NOT a touchy person, although I have a decently high sex drive/enjoyment of partnered sex, so if I were to marry/partner a guy wanting me to cuddle and be affectionate with him all the time would drive me batty. 

They're not lying. Sure it's always there, but so is life, jobs, kids, extra school activities, lessons, youth sports and all of the other things the Dillweeds have no idea about. Some people have an insane drive, but most people don't---once a week, once every 2 weeks and even once a month is completely common and normal in married couples. 

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

They're not lying. Sure it's always there, but so is life, jobs, kids, extra school activities, lessons, youth sports and all of the other things the Dillweeds have no idea about. Some people have an insane drive, but most people don't---once a week, once every 2 weeks and even once a month is completely common and normal in married couples. 

Oh I know, I was being funny (might not have come across that way). 

[graefin]

When Austin was a young teen his family was on World's Strictest Parents. You can find the episode somewhere on YouTube, I think. They were shown (as a family) working (I'm talking physically demanding work) from sunrise until sunset even through pouring rain without pause or complaint. Just some background on where Austin's work ethic likely comes from, and possibly why he expects/expected Joy to do manual labor through her pregnancy.

[Westiepeach]

4 hours ago, Christina87 said:

"Although it is certainly not work"...HAHAHAHA thanks for the laugh!!!! You win the internet today!

i definitely see Derick as one of those people who, like you said, just doesn't prioritize sex. Without getting too personal, that's how the guy I dated was...super into it at first, but as he newness wore off, it just wasn't something he needed. It was like eating chocolate...you better believe I'm gonna eat it every day (lol not a euphemism...chocoholic here!), but some people just don't crave it, and may enjoy a nice chocolate cake once a year or so, when they're really feeling it. I also think most people aren't aware they're like this until they're married or in a long-term relationship, since sex always looks enticing from the outside looking in. Everyone probably thought they'd have sex every day of their marriage when they were fifteen! I see Derick very much not preferring the, ummm, chocolate, as well as having zero regard for Jill's needs, as @Scarlett45 said. Plus I wouldn't be surprised if his impatience with Jill's ignorance has just built up so far that it's turned into disgust, making it the perfect storm of bad things. Nor would I honestly rule out the gay rumors either. Derick is precisely the kind of person who WOULD hide it and denounce gay people if that were true. 

You guys bring up a good point about Austin. I'd never thought of him being like that too, but now I could totally see it. It doesn't take much of a reach to imagine him literally being too tired for it, as he actually does work hard all day. He's also all about the gothard doctrine, and I believe he 100% wouldn't want more children than he could support, so that could mean very little sex. Beyond that, though, Austin seems to have a very austere, self-sacrificing air about him. He seems the type to wake up with the flu and think, "man up, dude! Sick days are for wimps. You gotta do this construction or you'll be a bad provider." He was able to put his goal of marriage off for many, many years while working and flipping houses, so I could see him developing some perspective on delaying gratification. For example, my last serious boyfriend's mom was SHOCKED when I told her I'd have no problem with him going on week-long golf trips (two a year) if we were married. I knew for a fact it was all guys going, and that they weren't up to any trouble. I also felt like he worked hard to afford those trips, and deserved two weeks a year of doing what he really loved. She kept saying, "but that is just so long! Wouldn't you get lonely?!" I just wanted to shout, "lady!!! I've been single for years before I met him, and we don't even live together now! I'm used to spending every single day and night alone. Eating every meal alone. Waking up every morning alone. Fixing everything that goes wrong in my apartment alone. If I were married, I could easily handle one week!!! When you've lived alone forever, how would it be such torture to go back to that for a week?! At least I'd have him there every other week!" That's how I could see Austin being, but with sex. He has the perspective and discipline to think, "well, I never got to have sex when I was single. As a married guy, at least I get it during her least fertile times, when I'm not too tired. I may be horny tonight, but whatever; the world isn't ending. I can do it next week."

hahahaha it's so funny that we are speculating on the sex lives of total strangers, but somehow it's a super interesting discussion! LOL!

I so want to be your friend IRL. 

[Christina87]

36 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

I so want to be your friend IRL. 

AWWWWWW thanks!!! The feeling is mutual. 😃😃😃

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

(Bolding mine) I’m 33 and say if I were married I’d be having sex every day! Or every other day!! I kid, I kid- as a singleton I think married people get it on all the time, cause you know it’s right there in the house, you dint even need to send a text, but all my married friends SWEAR this isn’t true. 

Of course you can never know what goes on behind closed doors, you theories about Austin are right on the money. He seems very austere and emotionally steady. I don’t think he’s cruel or anything, but if you’re a woman that wants lots of emotional display of affection I don’t think an Austin type would be the man for you. Based on what we’ve seen of Joy, I think physical touch is one of her primarily love languages, and growing up in the family she did, being molested by Josh poor thing, she was probably touch deprived for a long time- they’ve only been married a year and a half and Austin looks annoyed with her affection sometimes. I do understand, I personally am NOT a touchy person, although I have a decently high sex drive/enjoyment of partnered sex, so if I were to marry/partner a guy wanting me to cuddle and be affectionate with him all the time would drive me batty. 

Omg saaaaaame. I had an ex who ALWAYS had to hold hands in public, and a lot of times in private, and the constant cuddling thing got on my nerves. Once, he insisted on cuddling through a wedding, which was a super awkward angle for me, and my neck ended up awfully stiff. I also feel really bad when I do things like that, like I'm rubbing my relationship in peoples' faces, who probably feel bad being here alone. This kind of behavior went well with his really dramatic personality, though, as he was always the "literally shout our love from the rooftops" type. In fact, he was rather Jeremy-ish, but all about his brain instead of looks. After being this dramatic, all of a sudden he was done after a year, and I was devastated when he left, but now I really think I dodged a bullet. I agree; sex is awesome, but cuddly behavior alllll the time drives me up the wall too. My parents aren't super cuddly, so I suppose it's just never been normal for me. Just seems weird to have to be all over someone 24/7. 

Edited November 28, 2018 by Christina87

[Normades]

I think if Josh withheld sex, Anna would tell on him and Boob would talk to him about it.  Then, Jesus would lay it on his heart to give his wife a lay!  I also think Anna would be the type to track her cycle and maximize her baby making potential, just like MEshelle. 

It will be interesting to see how Austin and Jeremy end up as far as family size goes.  Both of their parents must have used some sort of birth control.  I agree that Austin seems very severe and would be fine with abstinence, which is probably the result of his strict upbringing.  I don’t think he’s a nice guy, but I admire his work ethic.  I’m in the minority in that I don’t have a big problem with them living in the RV right now.  I don’t watch the show, but does Joy complain about it?  If she doesn’t and they’re both ok with it, I think it’s fine.  They’re young and the baby is little.  It’s not like he’s David Rodrigues with 13 children living full time in an RV.  That’s insane!  If they’re trying to be frugal and save a nest egg, good for them.  That makes them the smartest of the bunch, in my opinion.  Sometimes people get too hung up on material things.

[farmgal4]

16 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Josh 'overcame his upbringing' enough to abuse his sisters and try to have an affair (or did have an affairs), so maybe it's time he put his rebellious streak to good use and get a vasectomy already. 

What do you think Anna would do if she found out that he’d had a vasectomy?

[Albanyguy]

5 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

Josh 'overcame his upbringing' enough to abuse his sisters and try to have an affair (or did have an affairs), so maybe it's time he put his rebellious streak to good use and get a vasectomy already. 

In their world, having a vasectomy is a much worse sin than adultery or child molestation. They really don't see any difference between birth control and abortion. Having a vasectomy without telling his wife/parents might be the one thing that Jesus wouldn't forgive and that would get Josh expelled from the tribe.

[TresGatos]

On 11/26/2018 at 3:27 PM, graefin said:

And yet, in a scene on the show right after Gideon was born, where Joy was talking about not being able to imagine dealing with a bunch of children, Austin immediately chimed in with, "the Lord will give you what you need to cope" (paraphrased).

Just like He did for Andrea Yates.

[JoanArc]

10 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

What do you think Anna would do if she found out that he’d had a vasectomy?

[awaken]

It saddens me that she feels the need for THAT much bronzer/fake tanner. 

[leighdear]

Agree she looks WAY too tanned, but kinda cute.  How old is that screen grab gif?

Joy strikes me as really lazy, when she can get away with it.  Living in an RV means minimal space for crap, so minimal things to clean.  The baby is portable and young enough to not really need much except diapers and stuff she can borrow from the other sister wives, then give back.  

The family is always going to have kids of different ages, so none of them have to actually OWN anything.  They can use stuff til the kid outgrows it, then pass it on to the next one. 

Sounds pretty easy to live in a very small space.  And Joy may be totally over having so many people around her, she like it just being the 3 of them.  For now.  

[Ijustwantsomechips]

16 hours ago, Christina87 said:

AWWWWWW thanks!!! The feeling is mutual. 😃😃😃

Me three...but don’t try to hold my hand.  I can’t stand that crap!

 

17 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

They're not lying. Sure it's always there, but so is life, jobs, kids, extra school activities, lessons, youth sports and all of the other things the Dillweeds have no idea about. Some people have an insane drive, but most people don't---once a week, once every 2 weeks and even once a month is completely common and normal in married couples. 

😳Nooooooo. Say it ain’t so!

16 hours ago, Christina87 said:

had an ex who ALWAYS had to hold hands in public, and a lot of times in private, and the constant cuddling thing got on my nerves.

You sure you didn’t date my ex?  The human velcro?

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 11/26/2018 at 8:50 PM, Absolom said:

I won't be surprised if any of the Duggars who have talked about contraception theology with Jeremy have decided that it's OK.

I'm that aunt who gave my nephews condoms when they had their first serious girlfriends (their parents are Evangelical Christians who only push abstinence).  I gave them to them, told them and said "This never happened.  If you don't want them, don't tell me. Give them to someone who does. This never happened."  Then we went on with life as normal.  I knew the boys asking other family members about it would just get an abstinence speech, so I wanted to give them the option (they attend an evangelical school where abstinence is the "sex ed").

I wish these Duggar couples had a secular auntie who could do something like that for them, especially the couples who seem so much less mature.  I hope Jeremy is acting as the cool uncle who low-key convinces all the couples that birth control on the down low is fine & educates them about it and how to get it (or brings it to them because Jeremiah, Jessa, or Joy can't be seen in the local Aldi buying the mega box of Trojans). Maybe Jinger could get the girl kidults appointments with her gyn doc in Texas and they could get an IUD or something, too, or at least speak to a real medical professional about options aside from abstaining.

On 11/27/2018 at 12:39 PM, Christina87 said:

 And @Scarlett45, I always wondered if that's where your username came from!!!! I'm a huge fan too, and basically had no chance otherwise, as my family loves the story too. 

Count me in as another GWTW fan! I used to watch it over every Christmas break as a kid from around the age of six.  I love Scarlett and loved that her actual first name was the same as mine (Katie). I suggested Scarlett as my daughter's name when I was pregnant with her, but hubby wasn't a fan of the name in general. I read the book as a young adult and loved it even more. :)

In the introduction for the 75th anniversary edition of Gone With the Wind, Pat Conroy wrote: "I was raised in a house without books, but the ones displayed and laid out flat for the inspection of visitors were the Bible and ‘Gone With the Wind,’ in no particular order of importance."

How terribly sad that the Duggar kids don't know the joy of entering another world through secular books and secular movies as kids. How sad to not be exposed to one of their own (Southern) culture's most-revered literary works and how sad not to be exposed to the proto-feminist hero & survival story that runs through it as it masquerades as a "just" a love & war story.  I hope Jinger has read it or seen the movie (and the other kidults, too).  I think even Joy might find something in the story that inspires her in it - like how well the beautiful girl raised to do only feminine things/with a strict code of women's behavior did men's work (running the lumber yard, etc) and did it damn well.  (Joy might want to stick to the movie version, though, before trying the book...because homefoolin' and all).  

Edited November 28, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Christina87]

36 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I'm that aunt who gave my nephews condoms when they had their first serious girlfriends (their parents are Evangelical Christians who only push abstinence).  I gave them to them, told them and said "This never happened.  If you don't want them, don't tell me. Give them to someone who does. This never happened."  Then we went on with life as normal.  I knew the boys asking other family members about it would just get an abstinence speech, so I wanted to give them the option (they attend an evangelical school where abstinence is the "sex ed").

I wish these Duggar couples had a secular auntie who could do something like that for them, especially the couples who seem so much less mature.  I hope Jeremy is acting as the cool uncle who low-key convinces all the couples that birth control on the down low is fine & educates them about it and how to get it (or brings it to them because Jeremiah, Jessa, or Joy can't be seen in the local Aldi buying the mega box of Trojans). Maybe Jinger could get the girl kidults appointments with her gyn doc in Texas and they could get an IUD or something, too, or at least speak to a real medical professional about options aside from abstaining.

Count me in as another GWTW fan! I used to watch it over every Christmas break as a kid from around the age of six.  I love Scarlett and loved that her actual first name was the same as mine (Katie). I suggested Scarlett as my daughter's name when I was pregnant with her, but hubby wasn't a fan of the name in general. I read the book as a young adult and loved it even more. :)

In the introduction for the 75th anniversary edition of Gone With the Wind, Pat Conroy wrote: "I was raised in a house without books, but the ones displayed and laid out flat for the inspection of visitors were the Bible and ‘Gone With the Wind,’ in no particular order of importance."

How terribly sad that the Duggar kids don't know the joy of entering another world through secular books and secular movies as kids. How sad to not be exposed to one of their own (Southern) culture's most-revered literary works and how sad not to be exposed to the proto-feminist hero & survival story that runs through it as it masquerades as a "just" a love & war story.  I hope Jinger has read it or seen the movie (and the other kidults, too).  I think even Joy might find something in the story that inspires her in it - like how well the beautiful girl raised to do only feminine things/with a strict code of women's behavior did men's work (running the lumber yard, etc) and did it damn well.  (Joy might want to stick to the movie version, though, before trying the book...because homefoolin' and all).  

Omg...that is SUCH a good point about Joy! I think she would get a lot out of it. Plus I could see them relating to Scarlett's quick, non-Rhett Butler marriages (expecially, like you said, the Kennedy marriage where she was working alongside her husband). Jessa might get inspired as well, as Scarlett was clearly the leader in her first two marriages. Jana might like seeing Scarlett as a single woman, planting crops and providing for the whole family, with no one insinuating that she was undesirable as a single woman. Jinger would probably like handsome Rhett, and how he doted on Scarlett. Jill would like perfect melanie. I think they would all get something out of it; it's a shame they are so isolated from "secular" things!

[Normades]

16 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

What do you think Anna would do if she found out that he’d had a vasectomy?

I think she would probably faint and when she regained consciousness, she'd run to Boob and set up an appointment for a Steve Maxwell-type reversal.  They could say Satan liked the location so much that he built another fortress in Josh's heart, but after the reversal he is a super duper christian again.  Josh could have a reversal ministry and turn all those men around who had vasectomies.  Also he could parade his reversal children around at wedding and other public events a la Steve Maxwell.  

I've put way too much thought into this!!

[Natalie68]

So I just signed up for SLING  since they just added TLC and Hulu doesn't offer it (yes I am watching it at work while pretending to be busy, sshhh!).  I am watching Joy and Austin on their honeymoon.  Couple of random bits of musings.  Does that gal ever wash her hair?  It is SUPER greasy.  Not a letting it go a day or 2 but several days greasy.  She is the embodiment of Pig Pen.  Seriously.  Her man (hate that way of reference for husband) is getting to know her in the biblical sense so this surprises me.  I also hate the way she watches his mouth every time he speaks.  Where did the adding a 'k' at the end of a word with 'ing' at the end come into being(k)?  I notice it a lot now and that is just not how that is supposed to be pronounced.   Why are they using plastic forks to eat in their camper home?  They got wedding presents.  I can see not unpacking your knick knacks but with 3 meals a day use some gd utensils!  I know this stuff has been talked about incessantly but this is the 1st time I am getting a glimpse so be patient with me.  HA!    I predict a binge watching session to catch up.  

[jcbrown]

45 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

  Why are they using plastic forks to eat in their camper home?  They got wedding presents.  I can see not unpacking your knick knacks but with 3 meals a day use some gd utensils!  I know this stuff has been talked about incessantly but this is the 1st time I am getting a glimpse so be patient with me.  HA!    I predict a binge watching session to catch up.  

Because the Duggar creed calls for doing everything you can to demolish the planet. Styrofoam for everyone!

I hope you survive the binge-watching. I recommend gin.

[Natalie68]

13 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Because the Duggar creed calls for doing everything you can to demolish the planet. Styrofoam for everyone!

I hope you survive the binge-watching. I recommend gin.

Good call!

[FakeJoshDuggar]

29 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

Good call!

Vanilla Vodka and pineapple juice tastes like a pineapple upside down cake. Put it in a fancy martini glass and make a night of it. 

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

So I just signed up for SLING  since they just added TLC and Hulu doesn't offer it (yes I am watching it at work while pretending to be busy, sshhh!).  I am watching Joy and Austin on their honeymoon.  Couple of random bits of musings.  Does that gal ever wash her hair?  It is SUPER greasy.  Not a letting it go a day or 2 but several days greasy.  She is the embodiment of Pig Pen.  Seriously.  Her man (hate that way of reference for husband) is getting to know her in the biblical sense so this surprises me.  I also hate the way she watches his mouth every time he speaks.  Where did the adding a 'k' at the end of a word with 'ing' at the end come into being(k)?  I notice it a lot now and that is just not how that is supposed to be pronounced.   Why are they using plastic forks to eat in their camper home?  They got wedding presents.  I can see not unpacking your knick knacks but with 3 meals a day use some gd utensils!  I know this stuff has been talked about incessantly but this is the 1st time I am getting a glimpse so be patient with me.  HA!    I predict a binge watching session to catch up.  

It seems like adding the 'k' at the end of a word ending in 'ing' is a fundie thing, as well as a fundie mormon thing.  The Sister Wives do the same thing, especially Christine.  How does that work, I wonder?  Does that mean that the Duggars and the Browns are spiritual brethren?  Wouldn't they love to be likened to one another?  LOL.

[Natalie68]

30 minutes ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

Vanilla Vodka and pineapple juice tastes like a pineapple upside down cake. Put it in a fancy martini glass and make a night of it. 

OMG.  I LOVE pineapple upside down cake.  That sounds heavenly!  

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

OMG.  I LOVE pineapple upside down cake.  That sounds heavenly!  

Ditto!! 😋

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Re: saying -ink instead of -ing, it’s a speech issue that didn’t get corrected in early childhood. Getting that g sound requires using the back of the throat, which is harder than -ink. I am sure someone on this board knows more about it and can explain it better. 

I discovered this while looking up speech concerns for my own kids, and as soon as I saw the -ink, I thought of Christine and Joy. 

[DangerousMinds]

1 minute ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Re: saying -ink instead of -ing, it’s a speech issue that didn’t get corrected in early childhood. Getting that g sound requires using the back of the throat, which is harder than -ink. I am sure someone on this board knows more about it and can explain it better. 

I discovered this while looking up speech concerns for my own kids, and as soon as I saw the -ink, I thought of Christine and Joy. 

NONE of these people know how to pronounce "ing." At best they leave off the "G." Ugh!

[Ohiopirate02]

On 11/28/2018 at 2:42 PM, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I'm that aunt who gave my nephews condoms when they had their first serious girlfriends (their parents are Evangelical Christians who only push abstinence).  I gave them to them, told them and said "This never happened.  If you don't want them, don't tell me. Give them to someone who does. This never happened."  Then we went on with life as normal.  I knew the boys asking other family members about it would just get an abstinence speech, so I wanted to give them the option (they attend an evangelical school where abstinence is the "sex ed").

I wish these Duggar couples had a secular auntie who could do something like that for them, especially the couples who seem so much less mature.  I hope Jeremy is acting as the cool uncle who low-key convinces all the couples that birth control on the down low is fine & educates them about it and how to get it (or brings it to them because Jeremiah, Jessa, or Joy can't be seen in the local Aldi buying the mega box of Trojans). Maybe Jinger could get the girl kidults appointments with her gyn doc in Texas and they could get an IUD or something, too, or at least speak to a real medical professional about options aside from abstaining.

Count me in as another GWTW fan! I used to watch it over every Christmas break as a kid from around the age of six.  I love Scarlett and loved that her actual first name was the same as mine (Katie). I suggested Scarlett as my daughter's name when I was pregnant with her, but hubby wasn't a fan of the name in general. I read the book as a young adult and loved it even more. :)

In the introduction for the 75th anniversary edition of Gone With the Wind, Pat Conroy wrote: "I was raised in a house without books, but the ones displayed and laid out flat for the inspection of visitors were the Bible and ‘Gone With the Wind,’ in no particular order of importance."

How terribly sad that the Duggar kids don't know the joy of entering another world through secular books and secular movies as kids. How sad to not be exposed to one of their own (Southern) culture's most-revered literary works and how sad not to be exposed to the proto-feminist hero & survival story that runs through it as it masquerades as a "just" a love & war story.  I hope Jinger has read it or seen the movie (and the other kidults, too).  I think even Joy might find something in the story that inspires her in it - like how well the beautiful girl raised to do only feminine things/with a strict code of women's behavior did men's work (running the lumber yard, etc) and did it damn well.  (Joy might want to stick to the movie version, though, before trying the book...because homefoolin' and all).  

We've seen that the Duggars know about Amazon so there's no reason Austin, Ben or their wives can't order some condoms. If any of the Duggar daughters use Facebook,  then they must be bombarded with ads for online birth control.  I know I do.  I don't use Instagram, but I also get ads on Twitter.   

[xwordfanatik]

21 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Re: saying -ink instead of -ing, it’s a speech issue that didn’t get corrected in early childhood. Getting that g sound requires using the back of the throat, which is harder than -ink. I am sure someone on this board knows more about it and can explain it better. 

I discovered this while looking up speech concerns for my own kids, and as soon as I saw the -ink, I thought of Christine and Joy. 

Interesting that I've not noticed it in anyone's TV family save the Browns and Duggars.  Maybe I just expect to hear it from them.

With their huge families and no public school teachers' access, I suppose it's not surprising that the ing-k wouldn't be addressed.  

[ginger90]

[Snow Fairy]

Gideon is looking cuter

[Churchhoney]

2 minutes ago, Snow Fairy said:

Gideon is looking cuter

Great appropriate, thoughtful gift, Joy! .... And he actually looks pretty happy in the picture, although his smile still never seems to reach his eyes, to me, anyway.

[mimionthebeach]

14 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Great appropriate, thoughtful gift, Joy! .... And he actually looks pretty happy in the picture, although his smile still never seems to reach his eyes, to me, anyway.

It is a great gift. Austin, to me, always seems awkward in front of the camera, self-consciously posing. Joy's looking confident, though. At first I was thinking, "good on you, girl, " then I remembered that stupid people don't know they're stupid. 

Gideon is getting cuter. 

[BitterApple]

Gideon looks a lot like Si.

[PikaScrewChu]

Homely babies tend to look better once they get some hair growth going. Gideon will probably grow out of it like Marcus did.

[xwordfanatik]

I don't like the hairy-faced look on Austin.  Giddyup always looks happy, and he looks cuter.  

Do they all have to call their SO "babe?"  I don't know why, but I find that annoying.  

[beckie]

In the picture of their shoes, I see two people wearing pants! I'm surprised Joy did as we've seen her wear dresses for that type of thing before.

[SMama]

Let’s hope she’s not wearing a skirt over those pants. 😃

[jcbrown]

6 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

Gideon is looking cuter

He really didn't have any other way to go other than looking cuter, though. (I know, I'm a big meanie.)

Those first two pictures are awful. Has she been taking photography lessons from Jill? That said, at least Joy looks happier in the shot of her with Giddyup.

[Churchhoney]

50 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

He really didn't have any other way to go other than looking cuter, though. (I know, I'm a big meanie.)

Those first two pictures are awful. Has she been taking photography lessons from Jill? That said, at least Joy looks happier in the shot of her with Giddyup.

I don't know. That may be a a matter of quality or just a matter of taste. I actually like those two pictures a lot ... They're so slice-of-life. They give me the feeling of really being there. And I get a really strong atmospheric feeling from the trail and the trees in that first photo. Those both seem like truly emotional pictures to me -- To me, they really seem to express how much Joy was loving that day -- and something of what kind of people those two are in their more unguarded selves. On the strength of those first two pics, I'm almost inclined to say Joy maybe has an artistic gift! 

... But I guess I always find that photography (including professional photography) is REALLY a YMMV kind of thing! 

Edited December 13, 2018 by Churchhoney

[DangerousMinds]

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

I don't like the hairy-faced look on Austin.  Giddyup always looks happy, and he looks cuter.  

Do they all have to call their SO "babe?"  I don't know why, but I find that annoying.  

Really annoying!

[cmr2014]

6 hours ago, beckie said:

In the picture of their shoes, I see two people wearing pants! I'm surprised Joy did as we've seen her wear dresses for that type of thing before.

I think she's wearing a long jean skirt, or else those pants have wiiiiiide legs.

[louannems]

Joy is probably the only sister who would go camping without a touch of make-up.  Good for her!