Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Minivanessa]

@ChiCricket, how awful. I am so sorry. 

[Scarlett45]

@ChiCricket I’m so sorry. 

[crazycatlady58]

4 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

He just died 😭  

Hugs and good thoughts.

[Rabbittron]

Talking about Easter candy I am not saying where I work but I have a calendar that tells me when the holiday items come in and when they are put on the shelves. It takes 3 days to get all of it out. I call MommyRabbittron and let her know and on the 4th day she is at the store buying it.

[CherryMalotte]

That is awful ChiCricket.  My condolences to you and his entire family.

[ginger90]

@ChiCricket

Condolences to you, and your family.

Edited March 30, 2020 by ginger90

[MargeGunderson]

@ChiCricket, I am so sorry for your loss. We are here to support you.

[lookeyloo]

@ChiCricket - I am so sorry to hear about your nephew. 

[Westiepeach]

@ChiCricket, I am so, so sorry.

[ozziemom]

@ChiCricket so sorry for your loss. Hoping you and your family can get through this in these difficult times.

[BetyBee]

13 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

My husband and I actually just got in an argument, because when he heard the update, he said said "I'm going upsstairs to pray", and I then burst into tears and said  "if there IS a God, why did he let F___ get it in the first place?!"

 So yeah..it's not going well here rn.

(((ChiCricket))) - I'm so sorry it's not going well there. I hope things are better this morning. In my home it's the opposite. My husband rails against the idea of God and I'm more agnostic. I think there may well be a higher power and it brought me comfort yesterday to watch a service online (progressive pastor!).  But I'm against organized religion and I'm a doubting Tom.  I worked with a lovely woman who was always saying "God has a plan. The angels are watching. Blah blah blah" about everything!  I liked her, but not her beliefs. Like others here, when she'd say she was praying for me, I'd say thank you and try to change the subject. I don't understand why this pandemic is sweeping the globe and I wonder what the world will be like when it's over. Hugs!

ETA: ChiCricket, I wrote the above before I realized that your nephew had passed. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I'm thinking of you and your family. 

Edited March 30, 2020 by BetyBee

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Oh @ChiCricket I am so sorry to hear this.

[kaleidoscope]

ChiCricket, sending love and {{{HUGS}}}

[Barb23]

@ChiCricket So sorry. You & your family are in my thoughts. 

[Turquoise]

Thanks for all the good wishes! I ended up having to learn how to do his infusion via Zoom meeting, but it went well. I'm comfortable now that I have several under my belt. They did give us extenders, but I'm home full-time at the moment (my company is an essential business, but I'm an accountant so they have me working remotely), so I can handle it for him. We even tackled a shower yesterday, with much Saran Wrap involved. LOL. Our home nurse comes for her first visit this morning, to draw bloodwork & do a dressing change.

[doodlebug]

20 hours ago, beckie said:

Hubby and I have been sheltering in place for a little over a week now. I'm more of a homebody so finding crafts and stuff to do has been easier for me. He's very active much of the time and prefers working and being outside so he's having a harder time of it. But he also has stage 3 COPD so he stays in. Also his insurance expired at the beginning of January so I'm afraid they'd turn him away if he did get sick.

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

[andromeda331]

@ChiCricket I am so sorry about your nephew. That's so awful. Thoughts with you and your family. 

[wilsie]

@ChiCricket I'm so sorry for the loss of your nephew.  

[beckie]

18 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

I wasn't sure about that. I was only going by a story I read online about someone being turned away because they didn't have insurance. At times like these, things that are supposed to be one way, aren't because of circumstances.

[Zella]

Oh, @ChiCricket, I'm so, so sorry. 

[Jenniferbug]

@ChiCricket, I'm so sorry for your loss. 

[beckie]

57 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

I wasn't sure about that. I was only going by a story I read online about someone being turned away because they didn't have insurance. At times like these, things that are supposed to be one way, aren't because of circumstances.

[Jynnan tonnix]

13 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I'm so sorry. My husband and I are both atheists and I cannot imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and vent here as much as you need to.

We had a surprise video chat last night with six high school/college friends, some of whom we have not connected to for more than 15 years and it was really cool. A few decent things are coming out of this, and I say that as someone who went totally stir crazy today and settled for pacing the main floor while reading a book. Hey, it helped!

Yup, we do have our share of atheists/agnostics here if you need to vent. Mr Jyn and I have the occasional debate on religion, but though he says he believes, I think he's a deist at best, because the God he believes in doesn't seem to spend much time actually worrying about what goes on in the world. 

I can't imagine living with someone who was strongly religious, though...I think it would drive me batty!

[doodlebug]

16 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

There's other agnostics in here, right?

   I'm feeling extremely  overwhelmed with my very religious family members at this time. Especially in the group where we're getting updates on my nephew F's health.

We just got another one, and he is NOT doing well. 😭

  I think I'm going to scream if one more person writes:

"He's going to be OK..because we're all praying for him!!"

Then everyone else in the family chimes in with all the same sentiments.

and I don't know what to say (type) because I don't think any of it will help...and I'm not going to be hypocrite and say I'll pray when I can't.

But I can't NOT say something...does anyone else know what I mean?

 I already said I'm keeping him in my thoughts and heart..what else can I say?

 I don't really need answers...I just needed to talk to someone...ANYONE who feels as I do right now!! I can't even talk to my own husband, for Pete's sakes. 😭 

My husband and I don't talk religion (or politics) together anymore..but now he's starting to again. I don't think I can't take this up and down stress. 😞

 

 

I'm not an agnostic, but I think your message is just fine.  I am a Christian, but I don't believe that that exempts me from all pain and suffering and I personally don't pray for people expecting a miracle cure.  What I pray for is peace, grace and acceptance of the situation that we're facing; that we will all come together, at least in spirit, to love one another and help one another, whatever may come.  After all, the Lord's Prayer lays it out for us, 'Thy will be done'.

I'm sorry for your loss and, I just hope that your entire family gets peace in this time.

I just heard from an old friend of 40 years.  Her daughter is in her early 30's and a resident at a Detroit area hospital.  She's been diagnosed with Covid and is home.  Her mom is really worried because she had asthma as a kid and it tends to flare up with respiratory infections.  This virus is something else.

[Oldernowiser]

9 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

He just died 😭  

Oh, sweetie. I’m so very sorry.

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

@doodlebug thank you for confirming that. I knew it was illegal to turn someone away in Minnesota but I wasn’t sure about the rest of the country. I was without insurance for three and a half years between my last job that offered coverage and Medicare. (ACA rates for being over 60 were prohibitive.) I had an episode of pneumonia during that period and I received excellent care from the hospital and even qualified for a grant from their foundation  that covered a large chunk of the bill. I hope you won’t need them, Beckie, but the care will be there if you do. 

[doodlebug]

42 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

@doodlebug thank you for confirming that. I knew it was illegal to turn someone away in Minnesota but I wasn’t sure about the rest of the country. I was without insurance for three and a half years between my last job that offered coverage and Medicare. (ACA rates for being over 60 were prohibitive.) I had an episode of pneumonia during that period and I received excellent care from the hospital and even qualified for a grant from their foundation  that covered a large chunk of the bill. I hope you won’t need them, Beckie, but the care will be there if you do. 

Any hospital that gets federal funding, which is virtually all of them, also has to provide indigent care and write off a certain amount for people who are uninsured and cannot afford care.  Since I work for a large hospital system that even includes office visits and routine care like Pap smears and mammograms.  We call it 'rating' here.  We are also told that we should do whatever we feel is appropriate for any rated patient.  I can order whatever blood work or ultrasounds or whatever I feel is needed to assess that patient and they will not have to pay, they won't even get a bill.  The only exception is for elective services, so a patient cannot get free breast implants nor can we do tubal ligations since there are other options.

To get rated, call the nearest hospital and ask for the business office.  Tell them you're uninsured and cannot afford to pay.  They'll ask you some questions about your finances and, if approved, you usually get 30 days to see anyone you need to see within the system.  A couple years back, my nephew, who had been laid off, messed up his knee playing basketball.  He got rated and saw a top orthopedist a couple times, got physical therapy and an MRI at no cost to him.  Had he needed surgery, he would not have had to pay for that either.

You've got to ask, but it is certainly worth it if you cannot afford health care.

[Turquoise]

@ChiCricket, I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[emma675]

ChiCricket, I'm so sorry for what your family is going through. This virus is brutal. 

[Nysha]

 

@ChiCricket, I'm so sorry. 

[SunnyBeBe]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

Any hospital that gets federal funding, which is virtually all of them, also has to provide indigent care and write off a certain amount for people who are uninsured and cannot afford care.  Since I work for a large hospital system that even includes office visits and routine care like Pap smears and mammograms.  We call it 'rating' here.  We are also told that we should do whatever we feel is appropriate for any rated patient.  I can order whatever blood work or ultrasounds or whatever I feel is needed to assess that patient and they will not have to pay, they won't even get a bill.  The only exception is for elective services, so a patient cannot get free breast implants nor can we do tubal ligations since there are other options.

To get rated, call the nearest hospital and ask for the business office.  Tell them you're uninsured and cannot afford to pay.  They'll ask you some questions about your finances and, if approved, you usually get 30 days to see anyone you need to see within the system.  A couple years back, my nephew, who had been laid off, messed up his knee playing basketball.  He got rated and saw a top orthopedist a couple times, got physical therapy and an MRI at no cost to him.  Had he needed surgery, he would not have had to pay for that either.

You've got to ask, but it is certainly worth it if you cannot afford health care.

This is really interesting. I know several people who HAVE healthcare insurance and they were told by the facility that they HAD to bring a certain amount to pay the hospital before their surgery would be performed. Not elective surgery, but, to repair fractures!  Like, $2000.00 before they would operate.  

[Olliesmom]

12 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

He just died 😭  

I am so sorry for your loss.

[BetyBee]

4 hours ago, beckie said:

I wasn't sure about that. I was only going by a story I read online about someone being turned away because they didn't have insurance. At times like these, things that are supposed to be one way, aren't because of circumstances.

I think that case, if I'm thinking of the same story (the teenager who died) was that he was turned away from Urgent Care.  Maybe that's different from an emergency room?

Guess what? I called my Mother and told her that she should continue to use a delivery service, that we're not doing her groceries during or after the pandemic. And that I will continue calling her several times a week and I look forward to visiting her (to visit, not do groceries) once a month after this pandemic is over. She thought that was just fine and thinks none of my my siblings should come visit until the danger is over either. Whew!  We actually had a nice chat. Also, my strep is healing (it must be because my throat hurts less and the bumps by my tonsils are gone).  I still have a cough, but I'm dealing with that.  I'm starting to feel human again!

Edited March 30, 2020 by BetyBee

[Lisa418722]

@ChiCricket.  I am so sorry.  Gentle hugs coming your way. 

[Sew Sumi]

@ChiCricket, I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.

[Jenniferbug]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

This is really interesting. I know several people who HAVE healthcare insurance and they were told by the facility that they HAD to bring a certain amount to pay the hospital before their surgery would be performed. Not elective surgery, but, to repair fractures!  Like, $2000.00 before they would operate.  

My friend had a baby in early March. She ended up having a scheduled induction. The hospital called her 3 days before her induction and told her that their new policy effective January 1st is that patients have to pay 50% of their copay up front. So they were asking for about $2000, up front, 3 days before she was scheduled. She argued with them about not paying and why they didn't tell her at any point in her pregnancy that this policy had changed and that without knowing how labor goes, they can't guarantee what codes will be billed to insurance and their estimated copay was just guesswork. They agreed to let her pay $500 instead which I still think is crummy to spring on someone. Luckily she had it, but some people can't come up with that kind of money quickly, and while I'm sure they wouldn't be turned away, what a rotten stress to put on someone right a procedure. 

Fun fact about that story is that we work for the hospital system. We were all pretty disgusted with our employer that day. 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I think that case, if I'm thinking of the same story (the teenager who died) was that he was turned away from Urgent Care.  Maybe that's different from an emergency room?

Guess what? I called my Mother and told her that she should continue to use a delivery service, that we're not doing her groceries during or after the pandemic. And that I will continue calling her several times a week and I look forward to visiting her (to visit, not do groceries) once a month after this pandemic is over. She thought that was just fine and thinks none of my my siblings should come visit until the danger is over either. Whew!  We actually had a nice chat. Also, my strep is healing (it must be because my throat hurts less and the bumps by my tonsils are gone).  I still have a cough, but I'm dealing with that.  I'm starting to feel human again!

That's great!

[GeeGolly]

So sorry @ChiCricket.

[sixlets]

 @CHICRICKET-I am so sorry for your loss.  I found myself thinking of your family last night, and my heart broke reading your post this morning.  Sending you a virtual hug ♥

@doodlebug-I just wanted to thank you for your posts.  I know this sounds strange, but it's been comforting to get info from a grounded professional on the front lines.  I always enjoy your posts, but in current times, they are very much appreciated.  Thank you for doing what you do!

[PikaScrewChu]

My condolences @ChiCricket

[ChiCricket]

Thank you everyone.

I still can't believe it really happened. 😟

I need to talk about him.

His name was José but was Flaco(skinny) to his family and friends.

He and I used to sit in his basement and talk while all the extroverts in the family partied loudly upstairs during "his" holiday gatherings.

Even though just the thought of parties made him cringe...he knew his wife loved to host them, so he gladly helped her.

He helped her with all the shopping,cooking, and set-up and and waited until the party was going gangbusters....and then she'd send him downstairs to relax , knowing how stressed he was getting, and she couldn't be happy unless he was happy too.

They were perfect for each other.  OMGosh I wish I could go to her house right now and just hold her and hug her! I can't imagine how's she's feeling 😭

 

[doodlebug]

2 hours ago, Jenniferbug said:

My friend had a baby in early March. She ended up having a scheduled induction. The hospital called her 3 days before her induction and told her that their new policy effective January 1st is that patients have to pay 50% of their copay up front. So they were asking for about $2000, up front, 3 days before she was scheduled. She argued with them about not paying and why they didn't tell her at any point in her pregnancy that this policy had changed and that without knowing how labor goes, they can't guarantee what codes will be billed to insurance and their estimated copay was just guesswork. They agreed to let her pay $500 instead which I still think is crummy to spring on someone. Luckily she had it, but some people can't come up with that kind of money quickly, and while I'm sure they wouldn't be turned away, what a rotten stress to put on someone right a procedure. 

Fun fact about that story is that we work for the hospital system. We were all pretty disgusted with our employer that day. 

EMTALA stands for emergency medical treatment and labor act which means a woman in labor cannot be turned away from a hospital that provides that service.  Obviously, if you show up at a hospital that doesn't have an OB unit, they're allowed to tell you to go elsewhere unless delivery is imminent.

I would be surprised if they would really refuse admission for what was presumably a medically indicated delivery.  Of course, I can see how they could try and scare her into thinking that they would.  I guess I would contact my doctor and let him or her know about the strong-arm tactics and maybe ask to speak to the hospital CEO or legal counsel to let them know just how upsetting this is.

That is one of the problems with health insurance with large co-pays, though.  Hospitals generally don't write-off co-pays, they only write off the uninsured.  I have never read the law, but I suspect that it is specifically for the completely uninsured.  I recommend that anyone who is pregnant or otherwise needing semi-elective surgery contact their HR department, find out exactly what their insurance covers and what their share is going to be.  If your friend had checked out her plan, she would've known how much she was going to owe and should've been able to save for it over the length of the pregnancy.  It is not fair to expect a hospital to wait years for payment when you know the debt is coming either.

4 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Thank you everyone.

I still can't believe it really happened. 😟

I need to talk about him.

His name was José but was Flaco(skinny) to his family and friends.

He and I used to sit in his basement and talk while all the extroverts in the family partied loudly upstairs during "his" holiday gatherings.

Even though just the thought of parties made him cringe...he knew his wife loved to host them, so he gladly helped her.

He helped her with all the shopping,cooking, and set-up and and waited until the party was going gangbusters....and then she'd send him downstairs to relax , knowing how stressed he was getting, and she couldn't be happy unless he was happy too.

They were perfect for each other.  OMGosh I wish I could go to her house right now and just hold her and hug her! I can't imagine how's she's feeling 😭

 

Chicricket, thanks for sharing a little bit of your nephew with us, he sounds like a great guy.

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Thank you everyone.

I still can't believe it really happened. 😟

I need to talk about him.

His name was José but was Flaco(skinny) to his family and friends.

He and I used to sit in his basement and talk while all the extroverts in the family partied loudly upstairs during "his" holiday gatherings.

Even though just the thought of parties made him cringe...he knew his wife loved to host them, so he gladly helped her.

He helped her with all the shopping,cooking, and set-up and and waited until the party was going gangbusters....and then she'd send him downstairs to relax , knowing how stressed he was getting, and she couldn't be happy unless he was happy too.

They were perfect for each other.  OMGosh I wish I could go to her house right now and just hold her and hug her! I can't imagine how's she's feeling 😭

 

He sounded like a real sweetheart. Again, I'm so sorry. 😞 

[beckie]

17 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

He just died 😭  

Sorry for your loss!

[OpieTaylor]

My heart aches for you and your family, ChiCricket

[beckie]

On 3/29/2020 at 3:55 PM, emma675 said:

beckie, my friend posted this the other night, it's his friend's husband's company:

IMMEDIATE WORK FROM HOME EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
Titan Technologies is supporting the US Small Business Administration Contact Center, assisting small businesses across the US in registering for the US Government’s COVID Recovery Small Business Loan Program. We are immediately hiring candidates to take calls from home. All candidates must have reliable internet service and computer access at home including microphone access on the computer to be able to support phone calls through your computer interface.

Compensation: $18 per hour and employees may work up to 40 hours in a week.
Start Date: IMMEDIATE START DATES as early as Sunday, March 28th.

All interested candidates should send their name, phone number and email to SBAResumes@titantechnologies.com. Candidates should expect to be contacted immediately.

 

BetyBee, I hope you feel better quickly. Your brother and mom are adults, they can fare just fine without you, you should focus on your health. 

Thanks! Guess I should have specified ones I can do from my phone, as right now my computer is broken and we don't have internet. The only way I have of doing anything online is with my phone. But I'll look up the link. Maybe they have other stuff.

 

Thanks again! Appreciate it!

[Jenniferbug]

55 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

EMTALA stands for emergency medical treatment and labor act which means a woman in labor cannot be turned away from a hospital that provides that service.  Obviously, if you show up at a hospital that doesn't have an OB unit, they're allowed to tell you to go elsewhere unless delivery is imminent.

I would be surprised if they would really refuse admission for what was presumably a medically indicated delivery.  Of course, I can see how they could try and scare her into thinking that they would.  I guess I would contact my doctor and let him or her know about the strong-arm tactics and maybe ask to speak to the hospital CEO or legal counsel to let them know just how upsetting this is.

That is one of the problems with health insurance with large co-pays, though.  Hospitals generally don't write-off co-pays, they only write off the uninsured.  I have never read the law, but I suspect that it is specifically for the completely uninsured.  I recommend that anyone who is pregnant or otherwise needing semi-elective surgery contact their HR department, find out exactly what their insurance covers and what their share is going to be.  If your friend had checked out her plan, she would've known how much she was going to owe and should've been able to save for it over the length of the pregnancy.  It is not fair to expect a hospital to wait years for payment when you know the debt is coming either.

Yeah I don't think they would have refused to admit her, but it was just one thing to stress about that she shouldn't have had to. If the policy changed in January, they had time to send a letter or advise her of that in December, January, or February, not spring it on her 3 days before having a baby. And because of her medical billing background, she knew what to ask, but others wouldn't necessarily and would be even more blind sided than she was. 

I agree it's not right for hospitals to have to wait years for copayments. I've had to refer people to our collections agency in my previous position and it's a yucky feeling, but we are also daily reminded of how little money we bring in as a hospital system and how our jobs depend on getting paid by insurance companies (we write off more and more for contractual every year) and patients so we'd better fight to get that money in the door. With my friend specifically, she had called insurance and had a rough estimate of what her copay would be- they were waiting on their tax return to cover it which wasn't set to arrive till after the baby was born, so being asked for a large sum of money in advance under a new policy that no one thought to clue her in on sooner was poor communication. She even asked if they sent a letter out to inform patients, and they told her no. It all worked out fine so no big deal, but it does seem that more hospitals are asking for payment upfront before procedures. 

[BetyBee]

ChiCricket, Jose sounds like an amazing person. I'm so very sorry. It is so sad that you can't mourn with the family at this time. ❤️ 

[latetotheparty]

10 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

Yeah I don't think they would have refused to admit her, but it was just one thing to stress about that she shouldn't have had to. If the policy changed in January, they had time to send a letter or advise her of that in December, January, or February, not spring it on her 3 days before having a baby. And because of her medical billing background, she knew what to ask, but others wouldn't necessarily and would be even more blind sided than she was. 

I agree it's not right for hospitals to have to wait years for copayments. I've had to refer people to our collections agency in my previous position and it's a yucky feeling, but we are also daily reminded of how little money we bring in as a hospital system and how our jobs depend on getting paid by insurance companies (we write off more and more for contractual every year) and patients so we'd better fight to get that money in the door. With my friend specifically, she had called insurance and had a rough estimate of what her copay would be- they were waiting on their tax return to cover it which wasn't set to arrive till after the baby was born, so being asked for a large sum of money in advance under a new policy that no one thought to clue her in on sooner was poor communication. She even asked if they sent a letter out to inform patients, and they told her no. It all worked out fine so no big deal, but it does seem that more hospitals are asking for payment upfront before procedures. 

I’ve been a medical biller for 30 years. These large amounts people owe after hospitalizations, etc. are deductibles not copays. Providers may waive copays if they wish, as long as that doesn’t reduce the total they are paid to under Medicare rates. But most contracts that providers have with insurers forbid them to waive deductibles. 

[jcbrown]

@ChiCricket I'm so sorry for your loss and that you cannot gather to properly mourn. So so sorry. Thank you for your post telling us about him. I would have wanted to be in the basement with you guys, too.

@doodlebug I second the thanks for your posts and for the work that you are doing. I emailed my PCP last week to thank her, too.

For all, Serious Eats published a piece about food safety and coronavirus that is very comprehensive and might be useful. Short version, don't stress out. Longer version: https://www.seriouseats.com/2020/03/food-safety-and-coronavirus-a-comprehensive-guide.html