@funky-rat I'm so sorry for all that you've gone through. So many times, people, myself included, just don't think about what they say and it can be so hurtful, especially when you're struggling through very serious life difficulties.
I found this after googling James Garner's butt. I was concerned about what I would find but I have a lot of free time today. I found this from the Golf Channel:
https://www.golfchannel.com/article/mercer-baggs/jack-family-man He's not quite half way down in a split photo with Bob Hope. He's in shorts or a bathing suit and the picture is from the side. I can't imagine his butt being that big seeing him from this angle.