Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Temperance]

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

My uncle didn’t invite me to thanksgiving. Third year in a row alone for the holidays. 

I am invisible/repel people.

Is this the uncle who expects you to take care of his kid after he's gone? Maybe you should call him. 

[crazycatlady58]

6 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Is this the uncle who expects you to take care of his kid after he's gone? Maybe you should call him. 

If I were in her place my concern about calling him is what I would end up 'calling' him.

[Natalie68]

6 hours ago, Jeeves said:

@Christina87, I hope you are having a restful weekend that will help you to recover from those illnesses. 

Okay, this sounds silly, but I'm struggling this weekend. Maybe I'm coming down with a bug - but I've been on the verge of tears since yesterday morning and it doesn't take much to push me over. And in this state yesterday afternoon, I wound up parting ways with my hair stylist - who is good, and who has done my hair for 25 years! 

I know that in the scheme of things this isn't a big deal but still, it's sad. And I have to replace him. I tried to write a recap but it got too long. Short version: he screwed up and didn't write down my appointment and when I showed up for it yesterday he was all stressed and unpleasant and made me feel humiliated in front of the other people present. He did schedule me for an appointment in a couple of weeks. But I was so upset that I started crying as soon as I was out the salon door.

I called him later to see if we could clear the air but the call didn't go well. I ended it by saying well let's cancel that appointment and I'll find someone else to do my hair.

I'm still sad about it - and anxious about finding a new stylist. But on reflection, it's been awhile since I felt really welcomed when I came in for appointments with him. As a friend said yesterday, it probably was time to let him go. 

Thus endeth this weekend's episode of First World Problems, Jeeves edition. 

It's a pretty day. I hope to get out there and enjoy it. And restock the groceries. We've had snowstorms last week and we're supposed to get a doozy day after tomorrow. Better shake a leg and get all that taken care of.

Happy weekend, everyone!

I had to find a new stylist after about 15 years.  He called in sick for an appt I had had for 3 months.  No problem.  But they couldn't get me in for 2 weeks, were assholes about it and my roots were awful.  I made the appt but searched for another stylist that used the same color brand, was about the same price and could get me in ASAP.  Best move I ever made.  My hair has never looked better.  Sometimes this is a blessing in disguise.  But I know the stress.  GOOD LUCK!

[galaxychaser]

Yep that’s the one. His son is board with me being the caretaker too.

🙄🙄🙄

you would think they would be buttering me up by being nice. But nope.

[Natalie68]

Just now, galaxychaser said:

Yep that’s the one. His son is board with me being the caretaker too.

🙄🙄🙄

you would think they would be buttering me up by being nice. But nope.

I am so sorry.  The holidays can bring the worst out in people.  I am not sure what to say except take care of yourself.

[Christina87]

Y'all, I just thought of something. Yesterday was good, but I have felt super dizzy today. Remember back in February or march when they switched generic birth control on me? I had several weeks where I got almost daily migraines, and in general felt awful! Well, they switched the generic again. Since then, i have had frequent headaches, dizziness, and now this blood pressure thing! I bet you anything that is contributing to the problem. It was switched around daylight savings time ending, so I didn't think much of it, because that time is always tough for me. I wish they would quit messing around with the generics! Suddenly you're just forced to take a new pill, and it may or may not be a good time in your life to make the switch. I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment ASAP and see what they say!

Edited November 24, 2019 by Christina87

[BetyBee]

Jeeves, I'm sorry you had to go through that awful experience with your stylist. I hope you find someone you like very much!

We put up our tree and holiday decorations. We usually put them up the day after Thanksgiving, but the kids and grandkids will all be here for Thanksgiving and I wanted them to see our new place decorated. We didn't put up any outdoor lights, except on the screen porch, so it's all for our own viewing pleasure! I don't think my out of state kids will be in town for Christmas. 

PikaScrewChu, you have every right to choose the people you want to associate with. I'm sorry you have to go through an uncomfortable conversation, but you'll feel better when it's over. The new job and not being able to get the time off may be enough of an excuse if you don't want to get into it too deeply. 

((galaxychaser)), I'm sure you don't repel people. I understand how it feels to feel invisible - I'm in my 60s and female. I feel invisible sometimes. I like to think of it as a superpower 😉 I would think Uncle would be buttering you up. He's the one with the problem!

Hope you feel better soon, Christina87 😊

[Ohiopirate02]

54 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Y'all, I just thought of something. Yesterday was good, but I have felt super dizzy today. Remember back in February or march when they switched generic birth control on me? I had several weeks where I got almost daily migraines, and in general felt awful! Well, they switched the generic again. Since then, i have had frequent headaches, dizziness, and now this blood pressure thing! I bet you anything that is contributing to the problem. It was switched around daylight savings time ending, so I didn't think much of it, because that time is always tough for me. I wish they would quit messing around with the generics! Suddenly you're just forced to take a new pill, and it may or may not be a good time in your life to make the switch. I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment ASAP and see what they say!

I don't know if I responded to you back in February,  but you can request the pharmacy to order you a specific generic manufacturer.   The pharmacy staff will give you the corporate line that the different generics are the same because of their bottom line, but any pharmacist that is worth his/her salt will understand.  You don't need to get the doctor involved.   You are most likely reacting to an inactive ingredient and the easiest fix is to keep the same brand.  

[crazycatlady58]

I would like to request prayers/ good thoughts. I have a bladder infection with all the joy that comes with it cramps ect. This is my busy time at work Black Friday sale so I cannot take off. I am off Wednesday and Thursday but not sure if I can get a Dr. appointment. 

[BitterApple]

2 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I would like to request prayers/ good thoughts. I have a bladder infection with all the joy that comes with it cramps ect. This is my busy time at work Black Friday sale so I cannot take off. I am off Wednesday and Thursday but not sure if I can get a Dr. appointment. 

Do you have any urgent cares in your area? They can treat a UTI if you can't get in with your regular doctor.

[crazycatlady58]

7 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Do you have any urgent cares in your area? They can treat a UTI if you can't get in with your regular doctor.

Yes, that is my second choice. The time crunch is still a little worrying but that may be my only choice.

[Minivanessa]

@crazycatlady58, I hope you can get treatment for that infection as soon as possible. 

@galaxychaser, those relatives sound like jerks and I'm sorry they are behaving that way. As an old female I also experience feeling invisible - and I love @BetyBee's attitude that it's a secret superpower. 😄

Thanks to all who have been so sweet to me today, including @crazycatlady58, @ChiCricket, @wilsie, @Natalie68, @BetyBee, and @galaxychaser.

I was able to get out and do the grocery run. Which is a good thing, because beginning tomorrow (Monday) night we'll get slammed by a snowstorm; predictions of snow amounts here in the metro area vary but none are less than 6", with upper estimates of 14" or more. And the official weather advisory says that travel on Tuesday will be "essentially impossible." Oh-kay. Essentially impossible. Man, that is some serious sh*t.

And this afternoon I - unexpectedly, it being a Sunday - got a call back from a stylist who'd been highly recommended by a friend. I'd left her a voice mail late yesterday afternoon. Her salon is very close to where I live - and she has appointments available this Friday. Yay! She'll call me back tomorrow; didn't have her calendar with her when she returned my call. But the fact that she reached out to me so quickly shows she's interested in me as a new client. 

The other call I got this afternoon was a surprise. From the vet clinic. They said Jasper's ink pawprints were ready for me to pick up. I'd requested inked pawprints but hadn't gotten them and wondered if they'd messed that up. So I drove over and picked up the pawprints. There are two, each is on a letter sized card and on each card is a poem, one of them the Rainbow Bridge story. 

Naturally I had a good little cry about that, and then a nap when I got home. I enjoy watching pro football on TV, but my Denver Broncos Donkeys are stinking up the field this year and I wasn't that interested in any of the other games that were on today. Yay, naps!! 

[galaxychaser]

@Jeeves yay naps indeed. It rained all day so I stayed home and did chores. Not to mention slept on/off until 2 pm. 

Binge watching bojack horseman on Netflix. 

It gets dark so early. 5 pm feels 10 pm. I’m tired all the time.

[CalicoKitty]

I just saw an ad for a hamburger chain--"MAKE EACH SANDWICH COUNT".  This takes on a whole new meaning in Duggar speak!

Edited November 25, 2019 by CalicoKitty
No idea where an odd apostrophe came from!

[galaxychaser]

24 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I just saw an ad for a hamburger chain--"MAKE EACH SANDWICH COUNT".  This takes on a whole new meaning in Duggar speak!

Especially for Joshua.

[Sew Sumi]

Well, he actually has a sandwich before having his "sandwich." 😁

[Love2dance]

@crazycatlady58, I think you really should go to urgent care. You don’t want it to move up into a kidney infection. Meanwhile, over the counter Pyridium can really help with the discomfort. But you should get to urgent care, sooner than later.

@Jeeves, it is so hard to end a relationship after so many years, but it sounds like this one was ready to end. There is no excuse for his rude behavior. I am so glad the new hairdresser reached out to you and I hope that works out. May the paw prints bring you comfort, too.

@galaxychaser, your uncle is a thoughtless, ungrateful man. Is there a nearby place that needs volunteers on Thanksgiving? Maybe you could go there and help with others who also have time to share. Wishing you a better year ahead.

@Christina87, you may be onto something with the generic prescription change. I hope you can get the medications straightened out and feel stronger and better soon.

[crazycatlady58]

Love2dance, yes if I cannot see my Dr. tomorrow it will be urgent care for me. I am on Humira so I am extra careful about infection. I would like to thank everyone for their caring responses. I am very thankful for everyone here in the Prayer Closet. I know the name was ironic but it some ways that is what takes place here. I think we have something special here.

[Love2dance]

3 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Love2dance, yes if I cannot see my Dr. tomorrow it will be urgent care for me. I am on Humira so I am extra careful about infection. I would like to thank everyone for their caring responses. I am very thankful for everyone here in the Prayer Closet. I know the name was ironic but it some ways that is what takes place here. I think we have something special here.

I agree, Crazycatlady58. This thread is one of the first places I check online every day to see how my cyber friends are doing.

Please let us know if you get your infection checked out tomorrow! Hope you get quick relief.

[awaken]

I rarely post my woes here, but thanksgiving week is so depressing for me. No one on either side of the family mentions it or gets together. We have a nice time and a great meal, just us, but it’s lonely to hear about everyone else’s family gatherings. 

I spent years inviting them and trying to get us together, have even cooked a full meal and drove it to them, but they make lame excuses why they can’t come, or cancel. It became so painful to have hope year after year and then end up alone again, I stopped trying to organize anything. Most of them have mental health issues which prevent them from leaving the house, handling any change in routine, or having a group over and interacting, and my brother and mom will literally throw a yelling, crying public tantrum when they get overwhelmed.

Its a hard week when everyone you meet politely asks what you’re doing for the holidays, if you have family in town, are traveling, etc and I never have a good answer. 

[Love2dance]

@galaxychaser and @awaken, I wish you, and all the others whose families are not available for whatever reason, could get together. Of course the media paints a picture of every gathering being picture perfect filled with love and laughter. But we all know that while true for some, many family holidays are filled with anxiety and strife, too. (I’ve had my share.) Sending comforting thoughts to all of you who need them.

Edited November 25, 2019 by Love2dance
Spelling

[ChiCricket]

Does anyone else start messages and think "no, that's stupid, who wants to hear your thoughts on that?" That's me. 🙃

[Porkchop]

Recently when I had a UTI, the doctor gave me a prescription, but I then asked about the pill that relieves the symptoms. He then gave me another prescription. At the pharmacy, the pharmacist told me that the relief-only-not-a-cure pills are available over the counter. I am so glad to have these in my medicine chest and travel bag! Less than $5 at Walmart. 

[Suzn]

I'm going to rant a bit.  There is a lot of myth built up about families and holidays, particularly Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The images of loving families getting together and all that that implies is thrust at us in commercials, fiction, social media and much of our society.  Oh sure, there is some acknowledgement that it brings friction in some families, but still we are told over and over that that ideal family gathering is really the only thing to strive for.  This completely leaves out the many people who have no family or have such a toxic family that is better to avoid.

People are made to feel bad about themselves, ashamed that they can't have this wonderful family holiday.

I have no family other than my daughter.  She is my only family and I am her only family.  And it's OK.  I'm not immune to the myth, but it is a minor tug.  We have our holidays our way and enjoy them. I feel fortunate that I don't have to deal with some of the nightmare family situations I hear about.

When people ask me about my Thanksgiving plans, I laugh and say it's all cooking and eating and then ask about their plans.  Almost everyone would rather talk about their plans than get details of mine.

Edited November 25, 2019 by Suzn

[BetyBee]

31 minutes ago, Suzn said:

 Almost everyone would rather talk about their plans than get details of mine.

I think that's very true and a great way to deflect the endless questions about plans. For Thanksgiving, it's usually "Are you cooking/hosting?" This is my first retired Thanksgiving and I don't miss being asked that question over and over when you know that people don't really listen to the answer anyway!  

It's so true that people feel like a big family Thanksgiving is expected to be had by everyone. I'm from a big family and the holiday logistics are complicated every year, so it's far from ideal. I'm looking forward to seeing my kids and grandkids, but to be honest, I'd be happy to go see the Mr. Rogers movie and just heat up something!  

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, Suzn said:

I'm going to rant a bit.  There is a lot of myth built up about families and holidays, particularly Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The images of loving families getting together and all that that implies is thrust at us in commercials, fiction, social media and much of our society.  Oh sure, there is some acknowledgement that it brings friction in some families, but still we are told over and over that that ideal family gathering is really the only thing to strive for.  This completely leaves out the many people who have no family or have such a toxic family that is better to avoid.

People are made to feel bad about themselves, ashamed that they can't have this wonderful family holiday.

I hear you. I'm going to my in-laws on Thursday. While I don't dislike them, I have absolutely nothing in common with them and they're not people I'd choose to spend time with if it weren't for my husband. Thus, every holiday feels like a six-hour chore of forced socialization. I'd be perfectly fine with going out to eat and returning home to crash on the couch.

[Lisa418722]

Growing up we would visit my dad's family in another state, but even though they were big family gatherings, his brother and sister never had Thanksgiving together. Usually we would do Thursday with one family member, Friday with another, and then Saturday with yet another.  Christmas would be with mom's family in our hometown.

My dad passed away a few years ago and now it's just my mom and me.  I'm glad we have each other but sometimes seeing "the perfect family Thanksgiving" makes me sad. I'm an only child and single, so sometimes I worry about what will happen when she's no longer around.

Last year a coworker invited my mom and me to have Thanksgiving with her family (her kids were going to be with other people for Thanksgiving).  My coworker then said "warning, BIL and husband will be talking politics."  Hmm, since we are 180 degrees from each other politically I backed out because I knew it wouldn't be enjoyable. 

[Nysha]

Happy Family Holidays is a myth as far as I'm concerned. Last Christmas my step-father yelled at me twice, once because my mom told me to use an outlet he thought didn't work (it did) and once because he wanted something in the kitchen and didn't realize I was going to do the dishes so he got mad because I wouldn't move out of his way when I had no idea he needed me to move. I was expected to read his mind when I was growing up and apparently 38 years after moving out of his house I'm still supposed to be able to read his mind and obey his thoughts.

My brothers came over from Arizona and Nevada this weekend, so I went to my parents' house and my mom flipped out because 3 out 5 of my children are on Social Security Disability, as well as my grandson and she doesn't approve of my deadbeat irresponsible (and mentally ill) kids not working. Then she got mad because I won't vote for Trump and accused me of being a communist and said I should be deported with all my Muslim friends. Good times! 

I still go because I love my parents, but my mom is bi-polar and has dementia and my step-father is an angry recovering alcoholic. But this is the reason that I only see them 2-3 times a year even though I only live 3 hours away.

[Scarlett45]

I’m that annoying person that loves the holidays oh so much. Now that my Mom doesn’t take call any more (Thursdays were always her night) we are going to have a wonderful actual Thanksgiving Day, and I’m going to put up my sister’s Christmas tree which will make her oh so happy. Friday is my big traditional Thanksgiving dinner, my bff is cooking and I’m bringing the ice cream. (Jeni’s brand, 3 pints for 8 adults- Boozy Eggnog, Cognac with Gingerbread, Darkest Chocolate). It’s a running joke that I have Chinese with my American Family and American food with my Chinese family on thanksgiving 🥰🥰🥰. 
 

Despite loving the holidays very very much, it can make you reflective to think of all my loved ones that are gone. My great aunts and uncles and my grandfather, Mrs B who took care of my sister and Grandfather for many years, my Bff’s mom is now gone.......I am grateful to have been loved so much. 
 

I am thankful for all of my internet friends here. To anyone who is missing a loved one or hurting, I am here for you. 

[doodlebug]

We always go to my older sister's house for Thanksgiving since my parents have died.  She lives about half an hour away and is an amazing cook and hostess.  She is newly sober this year (yea! long overdue) and her husband of 44+ years has recently gone vegan because his cholesterol was elevated and he didn't want to take medication.  His father, who recently died at age 88, also had high cholesterol, but still managed to make it to his late 80's and was playing golf 3 times a week until maybe 6 months before he died, so his high cholesterol didn't exactly hold him back.  Anyway, bro in law, a wonderful human being, but sort of OCD about stuff; no longer does meat, eggs or dairy.

My sister originally invited us (her 3 siblings, all single, who live in the area) and told us she was serving a vegan meal for Thanksgiving, but maybe would get a turkey breast.  We offered to bring mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole (she was going to bake sweet potatoes and serve with no topping) but she was not enthused. After I and our baby sister told her 'no thanks', she relented and is going to make the usual dinner as well as a couple of vegan dishes for crazy hubby.  She is one of those people who insists on preparing everything herself, doesn't want anyone to contribute a dish because she likes to do it herself.   Anyway, so, now we are going, but my baby sister intends to smuggle a stick of butter in her purse, just in case.

My nephews won't be joining us; one just moved to the west coast, the other has to work.  My brother in law has a brother in town who will come with his wife.  That's a small group for us, my sister has had as many as 20 people for Thanksgiving at times.  My bro in law has 2 siblings that live out of state but often join us, but not this year.  My sister was married at 19 and dated my bro in law the last 2 years of high school, so I've known his whole family since we were all teens.  Therefore, it will be a casual, 'come as you are' sort of event and we will undoubtedly end up sprawled on the sofa in a food coma in front of the football games on TV before the afternoon is over.

[ozziemom]

Love hearing all the different Thanksgiving plans. I am in Arizona right now where my son lives, so ozziedad and I will spend Thanksgiving with him. Along with ozziedog. It will involve minimal cooking but we have in the past done Thanksgiving with anywhere from 4-20 people, so I don’t mind being minimal this year. It can be tough when you feel like all your family and friends are together somewhere else, but escaping the drama can be good too. Happy Turkey week everyone!

[lookeyloo]

Since the older son got married we have been flying out to the PNW for thanksgiving. When the grands were young (and we were younger) we would stay through the next weekend and have our family Chanukah Party. Nothing like a Christmas celebration. Sing some songs. Play some dreidel. Light candles and eat. My job was to make a zillion potato latkes. I had three skillets and the oven going. Then the kids went to school and the parents work and it was boring to sit home 5 days in a row with no car in bad weather. So we just go for thanksgiving. It is my favorite holiday. No gifts. No religion. Daughter in law is very relaxed hostess and great baker. I make the turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy.  The other son usually went on a cruise or trip with his husband. This year they had planned on a week in Spain. Then he got very sick. I posted about this. So they had to cancel the trip and we are still going to the other son.  I am very conflicted but sick son doesn’t seem in imminent danger. My supportive friends have encouraged us to go. Before I met mr lookeyloo I spent holidays alone   Early on the ex was always on call and we lived too far away from family and had no $$ to travel.  then after the divorce and he remarried to a woman with a huge family the kids wanted to go there because it was “boring” with me.  Mr lookeyloo and I decided to do something special so every year we would go to Nottoway Plantation for their festivities. I don’t want to remind sick son of how many holidays he didn’t want to spend with us because - boring. I wish I could be two places.  

[Westiepeach]

This year, Thanksgiving is going to be great! Just me, Husband, and puppy. Since I love to cook, and I am cooking up a storm for us. Turkey breast, sausage stuffing, bacon wrapped green beans, sweet potato pudding, cranberry sauce. Husband’s birthday is tomorrow, so we have birthday cake too! My only sister lives states away, but we are not close at all. I do have a brother-in-law that I am somewhat close with, but he is also in another state. We used to spend holidays with Husband’s father, sister, her SO, and one of her sons (the other two sons are estranged from her and have families of their own) but it was painful (I could fill several volumes with THOSE stories!) Since FIL passed away last year, we don’t spend holidays with Husband’s sister anymore (yay!) since we only went for Husband’s father. So now we get to have a stress free holiday! 

[Sew Sumi]

@Westiepeach, your day sounds a lot like mine. Just me and Mr. Sumi with a quick visit to his mother (she can't come to us because she can't do stairs, and we have two flights just to get to our front door). 

HBD to Mr. Westie. Mr. Sumi's birthday is also tomorrow. He still doesn't know what he wants to do. 😁

[Westiepeach]

3 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

@Westiepeach, your day sounds a lot like mine. Just me and Mr. Sumi with a quick visit to his mother (she can't come to us because she can't do stairs, and we have two flights just to get to our front door). 

HBD to Mr. Westie. Mr. Sumi's birthday is also tomorrow. He still doesn't know what he wants to do. 😁

Happy Birthday to Mr. Sumi! We shall eat cake in his honor! 3 layer devils food with chocolate fudge between the layers, and frosted with cream cheese frosting, covered in grated chocolate. That ok?

[wilsie]

Happy tomorrow birthdays to Mr. Westie and Mr.  Sumi!  I hope their birthdays are full of everything they love!

[Sew Sumi]

5 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Happy Birthday to Mr. Sumi! We shall eat cake in his honor! 3 layer devils food with chocolate fudge between the layers, and frosted with cream cheese frosting, covered in grated chocolate. That ok?

Sounds yummy! We have a French bakery in the hood, so I will find something (aside from a baguette) that he likes. 😋

[PikaScrewChu]

On 11/24/2019 at 5:54 PM, BetyBee said:

PikaScrewChu, you have every right to choose the people you want to associate with. I'm sorry you have to go through an uncomfortable conversation, but you'll feel better when it's over. The new job and not being able to get the time off may be enough of an excuse if you don't want to get into it too deeply. 

Thank you for the kind words. It is going to be difficult. I've had a very good feeling her fiance is a tool from the beginning. I've learned if my friends are evasive with me about details of their new significant others, there's something up. The biggest thing I've noticed is that they assume I have time and money. I nearly went broke this summer because I decided to focus on my career instead of taking teaching gigs to make ends meet. I was going home often but that was because my sister needed relief from taking care of my parents. That stops once I start my new job. It also means the only holiday I get with my family is Christmas. Although I suppose I am happy with that because I find the whole trying to make holidays picturesque too stressful. 

I'm sorry I don't get to respond to everyone but I am hoping things work out for everyone. It's nice to come here and blow off some steam by snarking on the Duggars. Y'all are fun, even if we agree to disagree sometimes. I respect the vast majority of people here. 

[jcbrown]

I started Thanksgiving-ing in earnest today. Made Stilton and walnut shortbread crackers, cranberry sauce with tangerine and dried cranberries, and chocolate pudding that will be transformed into cremeux to be served with cacao nibs and toffee bits. I've hosted for decades and love it and yes, I am one of those people who does not want anyone to help or to bring anything. The exception is I do want my BIL to carve the bird, which he is phenomenal at. This is the second year we will host the SIL, BIL, two nephews, and a niece. It's a bit of a challenge because SIL cannot eat yeast or anything fermented (think bread, wine, vinegar, pickles) and BIL has celiac so no gluten. I've adjusted everything but the rolls and the shortbread crackers. The dressing I will make gluten-free and I'll use gluten-free flour in the roux for my broccoli-cauliflower gratin. Holiday meal planning and prep is my happy place.

Now if only someone would clean my house...

[BetyBee]

23 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

I started Thanksgiving-ing in earnest today. Made Stilton and walnut shortbread crackers, cranberry sauce with tangerine and dried cranberries, and chocolate pudding that will be transformed into cremeux to be served with cacao nibs and toffee bits. I've hosted for decades and love it and yes, I am one of those people who does not want anyone to help or to bring anything. The exception is I do want my BIL to carve the bird, which he is phenomenal at. This is the second year we will host the SIL, BIL, two nephews, and a niece. It's a bit of a challenge because SIL cannot eat yeast or anything fermented (think bread, wine, vinegar, pickles) and BIL has celiac so no gluten. I've adjusted everything but the rolls and the shortbread crackers. The dressing I will make gluten-free and I'll use gluten-free flour in the roux for my broccoli-cauliflower gratin. Holiday meal planning and prep is my happy place.

Now if only someone would clean my house...

Yum!  Sounds like we should all celebrate the day at your place, jcbrown!

[Westiepeach]

26 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Now if only someone would clean my house...

I would happily cook for anybody that would clean my house...

[Rescue Mama]

Hey everyone.  It seems like a lot of you are not doing well.  Im sorry for those of you who aren't feeling well, you're all such nice people that i hate seeing any of you struggle.  I don't pray but you're all in my heart and thoughts. 

I have good news.  The 10 rounds of radiation has shrunk the 4 tumors in my brain. That was the goal because they can't start to work on the lung cancer unless they could shrink them.  I go in tomorrow and have a line put into my chest, I'll have an IV line put in so they don't have to put one in every week, it'll be weird to always have a tube coming out of my chest. I asked my main oncologist if i can start chemo after Thanksgiving and she said that's ok so i get to cook Thanksgiving.  I wasn't sure I'd be up for it. 

 I did have a massive table for one pity party today.  I think it's all really starting to hit me and I sat around feeling sorry for myself but that doesnt help anyone.  

My son keeps telling me that I kicked round one (radiation) in the ass and I'm going to kick chemo in the ass too!  

Thank you again for all of the kindness and support you've all shown me.  Youll never know how much it helps.  

Edited November 26, 2019 by Rescue Mama

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, Rescue Mama said:

Hey everyone.  It seems like a lot of you are not doing well.  Im sorry for those of you who aren't feeling well, you're all such nice people that i hate seeing any of you struggle.  I don't pray but you're all in my heart and thoughts. 

I have good-ish news.  The 10 rounds of radiation has shrunk the 4 tumors in my brain. That was the goal because they can't start to work on the lung cancer unless they could shrink them.  I go in tomorrow and have a line put into my chest, ill have an IV line out in so they don't have to put one in every week. I asked my main oncologist if i can start chemo after Thanksgiving and she said that's ok so i get to cook Thanksgiving.  I wasn't sure I'd be up for it.   I did have a massive table for one pity party today.  I think it's all really starting to hit me and i sat around feeling sorry for myself but that doesnt help anyone.  Il

My son keeps telling me that I kicked round one (radiation) in the ass and I'm going to kick chemo in the ass too!  

Thank you again for all of the kindness and support you've all shown me.  Youll never know how much it helps.  

We are here for you. You’re going to beat this!

[jcbrown]

11 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

I would happily cook for anybody that would clean my house...

Oh me too. No question.

[lookeyloo]

43 minutes ago, Rescue Mama said:

Hey everyone.  It seems like a lot of you are not doing well.  Im sorry for those of you who aren't feeling well, you're all such nice people that i hate seeing any of you struggle.  I don't pray but you're all in my heart and thoughts. 

I have good-ish news.  The 10 rounds of radiation has shrunk the 4 tumors in my brain. That was the goal because they can't start to work on the lung cancer unless they could shrink them.  I go in tomorrow and have a line put into my chest, I'll have an IV line put in so they don't have to put one in every week, it'll be weird to always have a tube coming out of my chest. I asked my main oncologist if i can start chemo after Thanksgiving and she said that's ok so i get to cook Thanksgiving.  I wasn't sure I'd be up for it.   I did have a massive table for one pity party today.  I think it's all really starting to hit me and i at around feeling sorry for myself but that doesnt help anyone.  

My son keeps telling me that I kicked round one (radiation) in the ass and I'm going to kick chemo in the ass too!  

Thank you again for all of the kindness and support you've all shown me.  Youll never know how much it helps.  

@Rescue Mama - that is very encouraging news!  We are going through similar with the son with the renal cancer. All we can do hope the treatments are successful. I’ve had my own share of pity parties. I understand.  Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

[Jynnan tonnix]

Our Thanksgiving is going to be very small this year...nothing more than what we do more or less weekly with my mom over for the weekend, and daughter/son-in-law/granddaughter for one weekend dinner. One brother-in-law was supposed to have flown in today to join us, but slipped and fell in his driveway early today. He has brittle bone disease, so every injury is a pretty big deal. Thankfully no broken bones this time, but he did mess up his leg/hip a bit, so is not going to be mobile for a bit. Will try to get him out here for Christmas instead. 

So, basically, we have six people for Thanksgiving, including a toddler and a vegetarian. I ordered a 12 lb turkey, which is about as small as you can get and still call it a turkey. Doing just a breast is not an option since we all like dark meat, and just getting some drumsticks just doesn't seem festive enough! LOL

But I will still make all the side dishes (potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, creamed onions, a couple of vegetables, cranberry sauce, and gravy) plus apple and pumpkin pies, because it's just not Thanksgiving without all those things. 

Oh, and exciting news, my daughter just informed us yesterday that she is pregnant again, so, assuming all goes well, Remy will have a baby sibling come early August. Not letting the world at large know just yet, but I figure I get a pass for internet friends! LOL

Great news, @Rescue Mama...Will keep you in my thoughts, definitely! 

And @jcbrown, I'm there with you...Thanksgiving will be easy this year, but with any luck we will have a houseful for a Christmas gathering on the 22nd - I'm planning my menu already, which will probably revolve around a duck dinner...and then will have to do the traditional Polish Christmas Eve thing a couple of days later, which is a five-course meal in itself. I love the cooking, but would about kill to have someone clean into all my corners around now!

[Absolom]

22 hours ago, awaken said:

I rarely post my woes here, but thanksgiving week is so depressing for me. No one on either side of the family mentions it or gets together. We have a nice time and a great meal, just us, but it’s lonely to hear about everyone else’s family gatherings. 

I spent years inviting them and trying to get us together, have even cooked a full meal and drove it to them, but they make lame excuses why they can’t come, or cancel. It became so painful to have hope year after year and then end up alone again, I stopped trying to organize anything. Most of them have mental health issues which prevent them from leaving the house, handling any change in routine, or having a group over and interacting, and my brother and mom will literally throw a yelling, crying public tantrum when they get overwhelmed.

Its a hard week when everyone you meet politely asks what you’re doing for the holidays, if you have family in town, are traveling, etc and I never have a good answer. 

My daughter hates answering that question so she always says they’re going to Vegas. Maybe you could form a stock answer.

[Love2dance]

@crazycatlady58, how are you feeling? Hope you got some help today!

[crazycatlady58]

22 minutes ago, Love2dance said:

@crazycatlady58, how are you feeling? Hope you got some help today!

Thank you for asking. I went to urgent Care and the Dr. said I had a bad UTI. I have never had a Dr. tell me I had a bad UTI so that is concerning. He gave me two shots,one an antibiotic and the other for the discomfort of the UTI. I also have Cirpo to take. I will see my Dr. after the holiday. I am also concerned it got bad so fast usually I can tell and catch it early.  I am at home and as soon as the food I made for lunch tomorrow cools down I am going to bed. Thank you everyone for caring.

[awaken]

22 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@galaxychaser and @awaken, I wish you, and all the others whose families are not available for whatever reason, could get together. Of course the media paints a picture of every gathering being picture perfect filled with love and laughter. But we all know that while true for some, many family holidays are filled with anxiety and strife, too. (I’ve had my share.) Sending comforting thoughts to all of you who need them.

 Thank you, in my head I know that’s true – not everyone has an amazing, peaceful time.   It’s hard not to feel left out when everyone posts their happy pictures of warm family gatherings!  

10 hours ago, Suzn said:

I'm going to rant a bit.  There is a lot of myth built up about families and holidays, particularly Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The images of loving families getting together and all that that implies is thrust at us in commercials, fiction, social media and much of our society.  Oh sure, there is some acknowledgement that it brings friction in some families, but still we are told over and over that that ideal family gathering is really the only thing to strive for.  This completely leaves out the many people who have no family or have such a toxic family that is better to avoid.

People are made to feel bad about themselves, ashamed that they can't have this wonderful family holiday.

I have no family other than my daughter.  She is my only family and I am her only family.  And it's OK.  I'm not immune to the myth, but it is a minor tug.  We have our holidays our way and enjoy them. I feel fortunate that I don't have to deal with some of the nightmare family situations I hear about.

When people ask me about my Thanksgiving plans, I laugh and say it's all cooking and eating and then ask about their plans.  Almost everyone would rather talk about their plans than get details of mine.

Sooooo true!  Thank you!  I deflect as much as possible!  I hope you and your daughter have a lovely day together!  😁

7 hours ago, Nysha said:

Happy Family Holidays is a myth as far as I'm concerned. Last Christmas my step-father yelled at me twice, once because my mom told me to use an outlet he thought didn't work (it did) and once because he wanted something in the kitchen and didn't realize I was going to do the dishes so he got mad because I wouldn't move out of his way when I had no idea he needed me to move. I was expected to read his mind when I was growing up and apparently 38 years after moving out of his house I'm still supposed to be able to read his mind and obey his thoughts.

My brothers came over from Arizona and Nevada this weekend, so I went to my parents' house and my mom flipped out because 3 out 5 of my children are on Social Security Disability, as well as my grandson and she doesn't approve of my deadbeat irresponsible (and mentally ill) kids not working. Then she got mad because I won't vote for Trump and accused me of being a communist and said I should be deported with all my Muslim friends. Good times! 

I still go because I love my parents, but my mom is bi-polar and has dementia and my step-father is an angry recovering alcoholic. But this is the reason that I only see them 2-3 times a year even though I only live 3 hours away.

Wow, are you in my family?!  Sounds just like my dad, blowing up at people for random, unpredictable reasons.  We basically have to treat him like an overtired toddler about to throw a fit, always scrambling to appease and avoid a meltdown. Utterly ridiculous and I’m tired of subjecting my kids to it. I’m going to have them stick to cards and letters.