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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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4 hours ago, beckie said:

I have an update on my dad. First I want to thank you for your prayers and well wishes.

My dad has Alzheimer's. This year he started living in an assisted living place because my step mom, who has her own health issues, couldn't take care of him and herself. He's been doing OK at the assisted living place, but earlier this week he was put into the hospital, because he hadn't been eating and was so weak he couldn't walk. That's when they discovered that his kidneys were starting to shut down. They also discovered that his potassium levels were sky high. Luckily, they were able to successfully bring them down and now his kidneys are functioning normally and he's eating again and regaining his strength. 

It's been hard, because we live in different states and I've been saving like crazy to go visit. Now I just hope he doesn't die before I can manage.

Hang in there, @beckie. My dad also has Alzheimer's, stage 4 kidney disease, and lives in assisted living/memory care. One thing that helped control his kidney issues was getting a permanent indwelling catheter that enters his bladder through a small incision in his abdomen. He has stabilized with that to the point that his nephrologist has told him the kidney disease won't be the thing that kills him (a good thing, believe it or not). I know how hard it is to be far away and dealing with this. I hope things continue to improve/stabilize with your dad and that you can find some peace for yourself.

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We just went to visit my mother-in-law last week at the assisted-living place she is in. It's a three hour drive for us, so we don't get around to seeing her as often as we would like, but two of Mr Jyn's siblings, plus two of her grandchildren (with three great-grandchildren) live close by and see her often. It's heartbreaking to see her now, though, as she was quite a brilliant woman in her day (she gave up full scholarships to a number of colleges to get married at 19 and raise 7 children). Now she barely recognizes any of us, barely speaks, and has such a severe spinal curvature that she can barely lift her head enough to swallow comfortably. She's skin and bones, mostly kept alive with chocolate Ensure. Just three years ago, while she was clearly losing her short-term memory, one could have a good and intelligent conversation with her, but now she's just a shell. She's fallen so many times in the past few years, broken so many bones and had so many surgeries as a result, that walking is out of the question anymore. Five years ago, she was the champ in her "senior boot camp" class, outdoing people almost 20 years younger than she was. She's still in good enough health, and still only 82, that she might easily languish another 10 years or more. Her own mother lived to 92 in much the same state...It hardly seems like a good way to fade out.

Edited by Jynnan tonnix
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I'm so sorry. Alzheimer is really hard. My grandfather was diagnosed about a year after my grandmother died of cancer. Although its possible he had it before she died but no one noticed because we were all focused on Grandma. After she passed family would visit him off and on there were a little things that seemed off. But we all chalked it up to haven't lived alone in several decades and/or mourning.  He always thought he'd be the first to go and had prepared everything for Grandma to outlive him and thought that might be part of him being off. Until one day my uncle stopped by for spur of the moment visit. The house was a mess, the cat was going the bathroom where ever he felt, and Grandpa couldn't be sure the last time he ate or did anything.  My dad and his siblings put him in a nursing home he was lucky to get into a really good one. They took care of him, and somehow got him involved in activities. Which was great and shocking. He so wasn't a joiner and stubborn as hell. He always went back and forth on his memory. There were times Dad visited him for a weekend and Grandpa didn't know who he was and then suddenly right before Dad left he did and other times he never did. Same when the rest of the family visited or when my uncle would bring him up for holidays. Sometimes he remembered, and sometimes he didn't. It was hard. But he lived a good eight years, the nursing home did a good job taking care of him and he had been active in the nursing home.

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I can sympathize with so many of you on so many sad issues. My grandmother passed from Alzheimer's complications a few years ago and those last few years were brutal. She thought I was my mom, my mom was her sister, my dad was a priest (which was actually hysterical), and didn't know my brother. She was the kindest, gentlest woman you'd ever met but Alzheimer's made her mean and short tempered a lot. In many ways, it was a blessing when she passed. 

My family didn't really do the holidays last year because my mom was going through chemo and dealing with a long recovery from surgery. I thought I'd be more excited for the holidays this year, now that all of that is done, but I'm just worn out from the last few years. We're doing our crazy big family celebration this weekend and next week I'll probably go home for a few days or so. I really just want to hibernate in my own house and watch movies, eat junk, and not do anything for a while. 

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Had a scary moment earlier...I was rolling dough with my heavy-ass marble rolling pin when the phone rang. As I answered it on the far side of the kitchen, suddenly the rolling pin, for some reason, dislodged from where I'd left it and began an inexorable roll toward the edge of the counter, and Pippin, my little Papillion, was directly below where it was headed. I tried to leap in and stop it. For a second I had visions of puppy brains all over the kitchen floor, as it rolled toward the edge. It fell before I could get there, and I have no idea how, but it didn't fall directly on his head, Somehow seemed to just glance off his shoulder or something. I've heard bigger yelps from him over having a bit of fur tugged in the wrong direction, he's such a wimp. He turned out to be fine... But for a second there, I thought for sure I was going to have a disaster. I don't think we have any discernible tilt to our kitchen, but that rolling pin should have been perfectly steady where it was...

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13 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Had a scary moment earlier...I was rolling dough with my heavy-ass marble rolling pin when the phone rang. As I answered it on the far side of the kitchen, suddenly the rolling pin, for some reason, dislodged from where I'd left it and began an inexorable roll toward the edge of the counter, and Pippin, my little Papillion, was directly below where it was headed. I tried to leap in and stop it. For a second I had visions of puppy brains all over the kitchen floor, as it rolled toward the edge. It fell before I could get there, and I have no idea how, but it didn't fall directly on his head, Somehow seemed to just glance off his shoulder or something. I've heard bigger yelps from him over having a bit of fur tugged in the wrong direction, he's such a wimp. He turned out to be fine... But for a second there, I thought for sure I was going to have a disaster. I don't think we have any discernible tilt to our kitchen, but that rolling pin should have been perfectly steady where it was...

That's actually kind of creepy...  I'm so glad your little dog wasn't hurt.

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If you want to see the damage that religion and false doctrine can do, check out the #wakeupolive movement that began 5 days ago at Bethel Music/Ministries.  There are tens of thousands (or more) of people who truly believe that God is going to resurrect a 2-year-old that died of SIDS Saturday.  It’s the most disturbing thing I’ve ever witnessed.

Edited by farmgal4
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I like the gift card idea, especially if you know basic hobby interests, so readers could get a Barnes and Noble card. Gamers might really appreciate a Steam gift card/certificate. I know a lot of my fellow introverts like adult coloring books, but they seriously stress me out. 

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3 hours ago, Temperance said:

Any thoughts on last minute gift ideas? Especially for introverts?

Jigsaw puzzle?  Or some other type of puzzle like the 3D kind?  My husband put together a 3D puzzle of Wash DC a few years ago.  One of the hot gifts at my son's office gift exchange was a clock that had to be assembled from later cut pieces.   They had a $20 limit so it wasn't expensive.  

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6 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Jigsaw puzzle?  Or some other type of puzzle like the 3D kind?  My husband put together a 3D puzzle of Wash DC a few years ago.  One of the hot gifts at my son's office gift exchange was a clock that had to be assembled from later cut pieces.   They had a $20 limit so it wasn't expensive.  

I'm an introvert. If someone gave me a puzzle or a clock to put together I would smile and thank them. And toss it unopened into the Goodwill donation box. Because I have zero. interest. in puzzles or games.

OTOH give me a photography book or admission to a photography class, and I'd be in hog heaven. 

Just saying that IMO you can't assume what a person's specific interests are based on where they are on the introversion-extraversion scale. Heck, I just read a post on FB about how to treat introverts at the obligatory holiday parties this time of year. Most of it was spot on, but they HAD to throw in "talk about magical warfare." Oh, please. FFS, I don't read sci-fi or fantasy. Not my thing at all.

So yeah. I'm an introvert. But I'm not a hermit. Or a social misfit. Or a watchmaker.

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11 hours ago, Temperance said:

Any thoughts on last minute gift ideas? Especially for introverts?

What about a journal that they can put their words and thoughts into? A magazine subscription to something you know that they enjoy? 

Practical gifts: smoke or carbon dioxide alarms, fire extinguishers (kitchen size..note one year I gave that to my nephew and he did have a fire in his kitchen and really appreciated the gift), a bird feeder or seed, a warm throw blanket or notecards, but include a booklet of stamps  

Splurges: a new kitchen knife, cutting board, instapot ($65 at Costco) or pan. Home goods had some LeCreuset very reasonably priced (individual loaf pans $3.99), tickets to a sporting event they like, a gift card to their local movie theater or if they have pets make a stocking up with toys and treats. 

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2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I'm an introvert. If someone gave me a puzzle or a clock to put together I would smile and thank them. And toss it unopened into the Goodwill donation box. Because I have zero. interest. in puzzles or games.

OTOH give me a photography book or admission to a photography class, and I'd be in hog heaven. 

Just saying that IMO you can't assume what a person's specific interests are based on where they are on the introversion-extraversion scale. Heck, I just read a post on FB about how to treat introverts at the obligatory holiday parties this time of year. Most of it was spot on, but they HAD to throw in "talk about magical warfare." Oh, please. FFS, I don't read sci-fi or fantasy. Not my thing at all.

So yeah. I'm an introvert. But I'm not a hermit. Or a social misfit. Or a watchmaker.

You crack me up, because I agree (and I’m an extrovert), what does extrovertsion vs introversion tell you about what people would like for gifts? In my mind absolutely nothing. I like gift cards to Barnes and Noble. 

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There are a lot of things that I would appreciate as a gift.  Such as, phone sanitizer (I saw them on QVC, but may be available in a store), digital frame, warm gloves, pjs, and Smart watch.  My mom gave nice flashlights to all the men in the family last year and they were a huge hit.  Also, air fryers are pretty popular now.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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48 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

There are a lot of things that I would appreciate as a gift.  Such as, phone sanitizer (I saw them on QVC, but may be available in a store), digital frame, warm gloves, pjs, and Smart watch.  My mom gave nice flashlights to all the men in the family last year and they were a huge hit.  Also, air fryers are pretty popular now.  

Those sound nice. People always need phone charge cords and portable fuel rods! Those are the best promotional gifts because they are so useful. 

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I know that gift cards sound rather impersonal, but, I really like the idea of a small actual gift, along  with a gift card.  I like to get these cute little gift bags that are shaped like reindeer, snowmen, Santa, etc. (I get them in a bag and they are about 25 cents each, and insert a holiday dish towel, small bag of candy and the gift card.  I shop at places like TJ Max, Marshall's, etc.  So, the whole thing is a cute little gift for under $8.00 and you can then add the gift card to fit your budget. 

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I hope I didn't sound ungrateful in my post last night. I do appreciate that someone put some thought and effort into selecting a gift. And I appreciate the gift ideas that you are sharing here. You are good people. 👍

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Quote

 

33 minutes ago, not you again said:  

For the sake of all the curlyheads out there, DO TELL.  I'm always on the hunt for better hair products. 

 

For me with short, fine, curly hair, I wash it with Redken or Loma shampoo and use a small to tiny amount of conditioner.  Then a half-pea or smaller dab of Tigi Catwalk Curls Rock Amplifier rubbed over my hands and lightly gone through my hair.  For my hair it needs to go on while the hair is halfway to dry by air drying.  More product and I start looking like Abbie.  I hate the Loma curl spray while I love the shampoo.  The Loma spray made granddaughter's hair look greasy and flat.  It gave me asthma attacks.  I think it completely depends on hair texture.  Granddaughter's other grandma who has coarse wiry curly hair loves it.

For granddaughter who is a pre-schooler with long, fine hair, we found all the adult products too heavy.  We use old fashioned Johnson's No More Tangles with some Honest children's conditioner mixed in.  Maybe 1 to 2 tablespoons per bottle.  That can be sprayed on every day.  There was a product sold at the children's salon that was perfect, but of course production of that stopped six months after we found it.  

This weekend I bought a new Johnson's conditioning spray that we're going to try on its own or mixed with the No More Tangles.  I also bought a product recommended by another shopper who has hair similar to mine and she says it works great.  It's Dream Kids Olive Miracle.  We'll try that next week.   

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I'm also adding something to my gift list for Birthdays. Everyone really needs a cake knife and server.  For some reason recently, I've noticed that the person cuts their cake to serve guests and as they are serving they are licking their fingers between each piece! (A server utensil should prevent this.) I had to decline cake TWICE.  Well, it's not like I really need the cake, but, I want a taste at times.  I can't believe that people actually think it's okay to lick fingers, then apply to a piece of cake someone else is getting ready to eat!  lol  Or, maybe, I'm too persnickety.  

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I'm an introvert but am not shy at all, though I seriously have to recharge after most social interaction. Like, I am running errands today and will have to take a nap when I get home to recover because it drains me so badly. But other introverts usually think I am an extrovert. It seems like extroverts see through me and realize I'm an introvert. 

I prefer gift cards because people always buy me stuff they think I will like . . . And I don't. Lol I never complain, but I think people have started to realize this and just give me money. I usually just pool all the money I get for the holidays and then put it on a card and go crazy book shopping on amazon on whatever topic is currently interesting to me. This year, Amazon's selection on the Little Bighorn is gonna be wiped out by yours truly. 😉

So yeah amazon gift card might be a way to go too. 

 

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35 minutes ago, Zella said:

It seems like extroverts see through me and realize I'm an introvert. 

You’re so funny. I could see that happening because I don’t see running errands as a social interaction, it’s running errands which has nothing to do with interacting with others but getting my tasks accomplished. (In my mind)

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4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

You’re so funny. I could see that happening because I don’t see running errands as a social interaction, it’s running errands which has nothing to do with interacting with others but getting my tasks accomplished. (In my mind)

What's hilarious is I minimize social interactions while running errands as much as possible--including self checkout--and I still need a nap like a cranky toddler after I am done. Lol

Edited by Zella
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1 hour ago, Zella said:

I'm an introvert but am not shy at all, though I seriously have to recharge after most social interaction. Like, I am running errands today and will have to take a nap when I get home to recover because it drains me so badly. But other introverts usually think I am an extrovert. It seems like extroverts see through me and realize I'm an introvert. 

I prefer gift cards because people always buy me stuff they think I will like . . . And I don't. Lol I never complain, but I think people have started to realize this and just give me money. I usually just pool all the money I get for the holidays and then put it on a card and go crazy book shopping on amazon on whatever topic is currently interesting to me. This year, Amazon's selection on the Little Bighorn is gonna be wiped out by yours truly. 😉

So yeah amazon gift card might be a way to go too. 

 

I am mostly the same. I think some call us ambiverts.

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20 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I am mostly the same. I think some call us ambiverts.

I can't figure out if I am an ambivert or not. I'm thinking probably not since I do find social interaction so draining, even when it is minimal or with people I enjoy. Even with friends I dearly love, I have about a 4 hour window before I have had enough and need some recreational isolation.

But I might also not entirely understand the definition of ambivert. 

Edited by Zella
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2 minutes ago, Zella said:

I can't figure out if I am an ambivert or not. I'm thinking probably not since I do find social interaction so draining, even when it is minimal or with people I enjoy. Even with friends I dearly love, I have about a 4 hour window before I have had enough and need some recreational isolation.

But I might also not entirely understand the definition of ambivert. 

Definitely me too. Even 4 hours is sometimes too long!

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5 minutes ago, Zella said:

I can't figure out if I am an ambivert or not. I'm thinking probably not since I do find social interaction so draining, even when it is minimal or with people I enjoy. But I might also not entirely understand the definition. 

From what you describe Zella you may have social anxiety. It seems that being in large crowds of people requires mental and emotional energy out of you in a way it doesn’t for people in the middle of the bell curve. I couldn’t imagine you taking public transportation to work, standing smushed up against people, sit at your desk and it not affect you negatively When that’s something most of my peers do day after day and think nothing of it. I also remember you saying sitting in a movie theatre with others was emotionally draining for you- even though you don’t interact with other movie patrons. 
 

of course please correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not trying to be a physician or tell you what to do.(or I could be thinking of another poster)

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On 12/16/2019 at 3:33 PM, galaxychaser said:

I wish USA had human euthanasia. I’d sign up. If I’m too sick to live normally let me die with dignity. I’m scared to be in some nursing home for years waiting to die. No thanks.

My sister and I have a pact about that actually.  We saw how our mom was at the end and we do not want that.  We call it our pudding pact, as in I am ready, give me that pudding laced with something special.  Several of our friends want in on it.  

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Just now, DangerousMinds said:

Definitely me too. Even 4 hours is sometimes too long!

For sure! It's closer to 1-2 for some people and just parties in general. I used to work for a company that prided itself on its loud afternoon-long Christmas parties that were full of games. Introvert hell. One year I missed because I was up having a gallbladder attack, and as miserable as I was, I was secretly so excited I could bail on that.

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2 minutes ago, Zella said:

For sure! It's closer to 1-2 for some people and just parties in general. I used to work for a company that prided itself on its loud afternoon-long Christmas parties that were full of games. Introvert hell. One year I missed because I was up having a gallbladder attack, and as miserable as I was, I was secretly so excited I could bail on that.

My favorite part of retirement: no more office holiday parties!!! 👍👍👍

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6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

From what you describe Zella you may have social anxiety. It seems that being in large crowds of people requires mental and emotional energy out of you in a way it doesn’t for people in the middle of the bell curve. I couldn’t imagine you taking public transportation to work, standing smushed up against people, sit at your desk and it not affect you negatively When that’s something most of my peers do day after day and think nothing of it. of course please correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not trying to be a physician or tell you what to do.

I wouldn't be surprised if I had a touch of it, to be perfectly honest--I do have some underlying anxiety issues--but I have taken public transport to work and done 9-5 jobs in offices. I also used to teach. It wasn't something I particularly enjoyed, except for teaching,  that I did like, though it was super draining.

I actually have a pretty ideal situation now in that I work from home but have a part-time job at a library that gets me out of the house a couple of afternoons a week, and I also have some volunteer commitments that get me out and about. I recognize I would probably turn into a recluse if left to my own devices, so I have tried to find a balance that works for me but also doesn't give in to some of my worst impulses.

Edited by Zella
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13 minutes ago, Zella said:

I wouldn't be surprised if I had a touch of it, to be perfectly honest--I do have some underlying anxiety issues--but I have taken public transport to work and done 9-5 jobs in offices. I also used to teach. It wasn't something I particularly enjoyed, except for teaching,  that I did like, though it was super draining.

I actually have a pretty ideal situation now in that I work from home but have a part-time job at a library that gets me out of the house a couple of afternoons a week, and I also have some volunteer commitments that get me out and about. I recognize I would probably turn into a recluse if left to my own devices, so I have tried to find a balance that works for me but also doesn't give in to some of my worst impulses.

Sounds like a fulfilling work situation for you!

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Just now, Scarlett45 said:

Sounds like a fulfilling work situation for you!

Thank you! I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of starting my own business earlier this month, and overall, I've been quite pleased with it. I have decided, though, even if things really start picking up with it and I don't need the library income, I should still probably try to work there at least 1 day a week. My coworkers are really awesome, and I enjoy most of our patrons, so I do find it rewarding. (Most days. Lol)

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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm also adding something to my gift list for Birthdays. Everyone really needs a cake knife and server.  For some reason recently, I've noticed that the person cuts their cake to serve guests and as they are serving they are licking their fingers between each piece! (A server utensil should prevent this.) I had to decline cake TWICE.  Well, it's not like I really need the cake, but, I want a taste at times.  I can't believe that people actually think it's okay to lick fingers, then apply to a piece of cake someone else is getting ready to eat!  lol  Or, maybe, I'm too persnickety.  

Ugh that annoys me too.  There is one of my quilty friends that does this routinely.  I say no thank you and watch.  And if there is any left I go cut myself a piece from the middle.

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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm also adding something to my gift list for Birthdays. Everyone really needs a cake knife and server.  For some reason recently, I've noticed that the person cuts their cake to serve guests and as they are serving they are licking their fingers between each piece! (A server utensil should prevent this.) I had to decline cake TWICE.  Well, it's not like I really need the cake, but, I want a taste at times.  I can't believe that people actually think it's okay to lick fingers, then apply to a piece of cake someone else is getting ready to eat!  lol  Or, maybe, I'm too persnickety.  

Josie Duggar Lol 

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2 hours ago, Zella said:

I'm an introvert but am not shy at all, though I seriously have to recharge after most social interaction. Like, I am running errands today and will have to take a nap when I get home to recover because it drains me so badly. But other introverts usually think I am an extrovert. It seems like extroverts see through me and realize I'm an introvert. 

I prefer gift cards because people always buy me stuff they think I will like . . . And I don't. Lol I never complain, but I think people have started to realize this and just give me money. I usually just pool all the money I get for the holidays and then put it on a card and go crazy book shopping on amazon on whatever topic is currently interesting to me. This year, Amazon's selection on the Little Bighorn is gonna be wiped out by yours truly. 😉

So yeah amazon gift card might be a way to go too. 

 

I took a few tests on line and they all say I am a non shy introvert, but, I don't have any social anxiety issues.  I like being by myself but also enjoy being with certain other people and I can get a conversation going.    But in a meeting, conference, etc. I like to sit in the back row by the door, just in case.  Never have had a just in case yet, but, just in case, haha.

 

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1 hour ago, Zella said:

For sure! It's closer to 1-2 for some people and just parties in general. I used to work for a company that prided itself on its loud afternoon-long Christmas parties that were full of games. Introvert hell. One year I missed because I was up having a gallbladder attack, and as miserable as I was, I was secretly so excited I could bail on that.

Omg please no games! 🤣

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3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm also adding something to my gift list for Birthdays. Everyone really needs a cake knife and server.  For some reason recently, I've noticed that the person cuts their cake to serve guests and as they are serving they are licking their fingers between each piece! (A server utensil should prevent this.) I had to decline cake TWICE.  Well, it's not like I really need the cake, but, I want a taste at times.  I can't believe that people actually think it's okay to lick fingers, then apply to a piece of cake someone else is getting ready to eat!  lol  Or, maybe, I'm too persnickety.  

What a great idea about the knife & cake server.  I received a cake server as a small wedding gift from my aerobics instructor at the time 35 years ago.  It has a  china handle with flowers on it so it can be used for both formal & more relaxed occasions.  It was just a small remembrance at the time but it has gotten plenty of use.

I agree chargers are also a great idea. I got one on QVC or HSN for my son & it cost about $30.  Its a small square where each side plugs into & charges a different item-  one side for Apple, one side for Android, etc. It doesnt have any cords you have to worry about. It's great for his work when he has to use one of his company's tablets out on a job.  He can charge it no matter the brand. 

I'll share some of the gifts I've  gotten from my mother-in-law at a later time.  She means well but doesn't quite get it with some items.  (As in the mint green corduroy pants with a matching frumpy sweatshirt I got years ago.)

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4 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm also adding something to my gift list for Birthdays. Everyone really needs a cake knife and server.  For some reason recently, I've noticed that the person cuts their cake to serve guests and as they are serving they are licking their fingers between each piece! (A server utensil should prevent this.) I had to decline cake TWICE.  Well, it's not like I really need the cake, but, I want a taste at times.  I can't believe that people actually think it's okay to lick fingers, then apply to a piece of cake someone else is getting ready to eat!  lol  Or, maybe, I'm too persnickety.  

That's a fantastic idea. Last summer I hosted a graduation party for my sister-in-law and had to balance cake slices with forks because I didn't have a proper server. It's just one of those things I never thought to buy. 

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As we all know food is a nice gift.   I made up gift bags for my three main doctor's offices I go to.  I got different large containers of nut & trail mixes along with animal crackers from Walmart. I included fancier chocolates & pop corn from HSN & QVC.  Each bag cost me about $20  & they were hits with everyone. 

My son did a "Night at the Movies" gift box for his work gift exchange.  He bought an Amazon gift card to be used for movies, added a bag of popcorn, some movie size boxes of candy &  2 cans of Coke. It was a hit as well. 

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