Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[galaxychaser]

I remember only 1 local channel worked. CBS channel 2. I came home from school and waited for my mom to come home. A coworker became a grandma that day. What a birthday to have... 9/11/01. That boy is now 18. 

4 hours ago, marypat57 said:

Galaxychaser:

I remember 9/11 also. 

As I was driving to school in Brooklyn that morning, I stopped at a stop sign near the school.  As I waited for my turn, I marveled at the beautiful skyline of NYC.  Never did I think that it would be forever marred before I could go home that afternoon.  Teachers on two floors of our building could see  the buildings fall.  Scared parents came to take their children to the safety of their homes.  

I listened to the radio with headphones on so I might find out some more info.  When I heard the radio personality announce "This is  a total recall for all fire fighters (meaning that EVERY firefighter was obligated to report for duty immediately)", I knew we had been attacked.

We gathered the children who remained in the school into the classrooms by the front entrance.  I put on a video for the kindergarten students, and  served them a snack.  

A colleague and I walked some children to their aftercare center.  While we were there, I saw some of the destruction on the center's tv.  As we went back to our school,  we saw the F15s flying overhead.  It was so hard to believe that this was happening a few miles from our school..

It was so hard to believe that my friend said goodbye to her husband that morning as they got on the subway, each going to their jobs.  The next day they were supposed to close on heir first house.  She never saw him again.

I had another friend whose law offices were in the process of relocating from the east side to the World Trade Center.  I remembered that she had been travelling back and forth between both offices.  I shuddered to think that she would not be returning home to her two boys.  I was afraid to call her home.  Luckily, she was safe.

My best friend has 2 lovely daughters.  The younger one had a job interview that morning at the Windows on the World restaurant.  She did not go to the interview because the manager did not call the day before to confirm the time.  Her older daughter is an electrician, and was on her maternity leave at that time.  The last job she had before her beautiful daughter was born was at the offices of Cantor Fitzgerald.  I think about how that young lady just started college, and all of those children whose parents would not be around to see them off to college. Some of the children never even had a chance to meet their fathers and other relatives.  

A few days later I was driving on the Belt Parkway, I smelled smoke, and was wondering if there was a brush fire nearby.   I realized I was smelling the still burning WTC.

Schools in NYC were closed for a few days.  I went to pray with my church family that evening and the next day. The pews were as full as they would be for Christmas or Easter.  I watched the unending TV coverage, hoping against hope that it was all a cruel joke.  It was not.

I'm sorry for this long post.  It's hard to look at things every day and remember how it used to be.

Thanks for listening to me rant....

Very eloquent and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[PikaScrewChu]

On 9/11/2019 at 12:06 PM, galaxychaser said:

Well it’s 9/11 and I still cry every year.  Still remember that day and how outside it smelled of smoke and ash etc. NYC isn’t the same 

I was at the WTC site last year. It was a bit shocking to see the guides and volunteers have to go tell people that this is a memorial and they needed to treat it as a sacred space. I sat there for quite a bit and people taking smiling selfies and the like really shook me. I was a kid at the time and the city I grew up in was listed as a potential target. We changed our lives quite a bit because of it. 

We still see the effects of 9/11 to this day. I don't think we will ever go back to carefree days pre-9/11. 

[Suzn]

7 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I was at the WTC site last year. It was a bit shocking to see the guides and volunteers have to go tell people that this is a memorial and they needed to treat it as a sacred space. I sat there for quite a bit and people taking smiling selfies and the like really shook me. I was a kid at the time and the city I grew up in was listed as a potential target. We changed our lives quite a bit because of it. 

We still see the effects of 9/11 to this day. I don't think we will ever go back to carefree days pre-9/11. 

Shocking and horrifying that anyone would be so disrespectful as to grin into the camera there.  Well, I'm sure the Duggars would...

[mynextmistake]

Tangentially related to this discussion — does anyone have any advice on how to talk to young children about death? My MIL has stage 4 cancer and the outlook isn’t good. My daughter just turned 4 and so far all we’ve told her is that Grandma doesn’t feel well and she might look different from now on (she’s starting chemo soon and they said to expect hair loss and weight loss) but that she’s still the same person on the inside and still loves my daughter very much. We’ve more generally told her that we love her and are here for her and she can talk to us if she’s sad. The problem is that my daughter reacts to stress by completely withdrawing — she won’t talk about it, or even answer questions, and doesn’t respond positively to reassurance.  That’s just the kind of kid she is, and I understand there’s no way to change that, but it does make a situation like this more difficult. My husband and I are meeting with a social worker at my daughter‘s pediatrician‘s office to ask for some strategies, but in the meantime I am really hoping someone here will have some suggestions. I’m tired of seeing my little girl look sad all the time and refuse to talk about it. 

[EVS]

7 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

Tangentially related to this discussion — does anyone have any advice on how to talk to young children about death? My MIL has stage 4 cancer and the outlook isn’t good. My daughter just turned 4 and so far all we’ve told her is that Grandma doesn’t feel well and she might look different from now on (she’s starting chemo soon and they said to expect hair loss and weight loss) but that she’s still the same person on the inside and still loves my daughter very much. We’ve more generally told her that we love her and are here for her and she can talk to us if she’s sad. The problem is that my daughter reacts to stress by completely withdrawing — she won’t talk about it, or even answer questions, and doesn’t respond positively to reassurance.  That’s just the kind of kid she is, and I understand there’s no way to change that, but it does make a situation like this more difficult. My husband and I are meeting with a social worker at my daughter‘s pediatrician‘s office to ask for some strategies, but in the meantime I am really hoping someone here will have some suggestions. I’m tired of seeing my little girl look sad all the time and refuse to talk about it. 

I don’t have any suggestions. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by meeting with the social worker. I just wanted to say that I am sorry for what you and your family, are going through. I hope your daughter will get through it ok and I hope your MIL somehow manages to beat the cancer. 

[marypat57]

Hi Galaxychaser:

Thanks for the comments....BTW the reason that our local CBS2 was still on the air was that they still transmitted their signals from the top of the Empire State Building.  All the other stations transmitted from the top of the north tower of the World Trade Center.  People with cable or sattelite could still get channels 4,5,7,9,11and 13 on their system.  I had Dish Network at the time, and I subscribed to their local stations package.  

When I arrived home that afternoon, I found my remotes neatly lined up on my coffee table.  It seems that my next door neighbor had come over to find out information about what happened.  His brother was a NYC firefighter assigned to the station across the street from the WTC.  He found out later that night that he was OK.

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, mynextmistake said:

Tangentially related to this discussion — does anyone have any advice on how to talk to young children about death? My MIL has stage 4 cancer and the outlook isn’t good. My daughter just turned 4 and so far all we’ve told her is that Grandma doesn’t feel well and she might look different from now on (she’s starting chemo soon and they said to expect hair loss and weight loss) but that she’s still the same person on the inside and still loves my daughter very much. We’ve more generally told her that we love her and are here for her and she can talk to us if she’s sad. The problem is that my daughter reacts to stress by completely withdrawing — she won’t talk about it, or even answer questions, and doesn’t respond positively to reassurance.  That’s just the kind of kid she is, and I understand there’s no way to change that, but it does make a situation like this more difficult. My husband and I are meeting with a social worker at my daughter‘s pediatrician‘s office to ask for some strategies, but in the meantime I am really hoping someone here will have some suggestions. I’m tired of seeing my little girl look sad all the time and refuse to talk about it. 

I'm off work now and enjoying a well-earned beer or I could look up some book titles.  But, check with your local library and the children's staff can point you to a few appropriate picture books.

[lookeyloo]

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

[emma675]

lookeyloo, there are no words. I'm so sorry.

[Mojitogirl]

55 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

There are really no words to offer you but if you want to unload, cry, rant and rave in a safe space, know you have one here. 💔 My father is battling a cancer that has slim, if any, survival rates but he’s doing very well 2 years out. Treatments are so incredibly targeted and efficient that hope may exist where it wouldn’t have existed even 5 years before.  Every day I thank God for his doctors and for their empathy and abilities. But this sucks, it really sucks so bad and I hate the f’ing disease so much. 

[galaxychaser]

20 minutes ago, emma675 said:

lookeyloo, there are no words. I'm so sorry.

Ditto. 

[Sew Sumi]

Fuck cancer. 

[Zella]

Oh, @lookeyloo, I'm so sorry.

Edited September 13, 2019 by Zella

[Mindthinkr]

@lookeyloo I’m gobsmacked and so sorry that your son received that diagnosis. I’m going to Italy next month and will light candles for him in all the churches that I visit. 

[Happyfatchick]

3 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

Oh Lookey.  

Damn.

[Love2dance]

@lookeyloo, I am so terribly sorry. I hope the doctors will find the right treatment for him. You are in my thoughts. 

[frenchtoast]

10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Fuck cancer. 

Took the words right out of my mouth. @lookeyloo that's something no mother ever wants to hear. I am so sorry. Continual virtual hugs to you all. 

[crazycatlady58]

13 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

[Minivanessa]

@lookeyloo - What HFC said. Damn. I'm so sorry. 

[Barb23]

Oh, @lookeyloo, what awful news. I'm reading these posts with tears in my eyes. I will be praying for you & your family. 

[Suzn]

15 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

I'm so sorry.

[EVS]

@lookeyloo  I’m so sorry.

[Natalie68]

18 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

I am so sorry.  GIANT HUGS!!!

[Jynnan tonnix]

18 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Well, my precious son, who is about to turn 50, has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic kidney cancer, also in his liver and spine.  I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but, it doesn't sound good.  Went to the oncologist at Emory in Atlanta, and will start treatment.  There is but a glimmer of hope and no cure mentioned.  We moved here so he could take care of us one day, and now it seems the tables are turned.  He looks healthy.  All of his blood work is very normal.  He had no symptoms until 3 weeks before diagnosis.  He has a cousin who is an oncologist at a center in the northeast who has been kept in the loop and he said the treatment would be his first choice too.   is a parent's worst nightmare.  

A nightmare indeed. I can hardly even imagine how you (and he!) must be feeling. May that glimmer of hope grow to something positive. 

I've mentioned my cousin here before who was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. It was in his stomach, liver, and a couple of other places, and they estimated he had about 6 months. But the chemo shrunk the tumors beyond hopes, and he found a surgeon who wanted to try some new procedures. They removed his entire stomach, and had him practically drawn and quartered to try to get all the various  tumors. That was a bit over three years ago, and he is still cancer-free, totally enjoying the new lease on life he was given. So there's always hope.

[galaxychaser]

WTC site is very serene, cemetery like...

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

WTC site is very serene, cemetery like...

It really is, it is beautiful and there is a spirituality and presence there that is very comforting.

[galaxychaser]

14 days in jail what a joke 

https://people.com/crime/felicity-huffman-sentenced-college-admissions-scam/

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

14 days in jail what a joke 

https://people.com/crime/felicity-huffman-sentenced-college-admissions-scam/

Total joke.  Way to deter future crimes!  I wanted at least a year for her and 5 for Lori and her skeevy husband.

[ginger90]

@lookeyloo Good thoughts going to you, your son, and family. 

[galaxychaser]

http://galleries.apps.chicagotribune.com/chi-130409-wanda-stopa-pictures/

was on deadly women. The show omitted a few big details.

[Barb23]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

Total joke.  Way to deter future crimes!  I wanted at least a year for her and 5 for Lori and her skeevy husband.

They should also have to pay FULL tuitions for at least 100 students that aren't able to afford college.  Maybe full scholarships for needy  graduate school students as well.  This would just be the beginning. The list is never ending.......books, out of the country studies, room & board, etc. 

[lookeyloo]

Thank you everyone.  Really appreciate the support.  

[jjane]

@lookeyloo, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Sending prayers that the doctors find something to help. There is always the hope  that something will work. Sending virtual hugs and much love your way. As @Mojitogirl said, there will always be someone here to listen anytime you need it. 

Edited September 14, 2019 by jjane
extra word

[galaxychaser]

2 hours ago, Barb23 said:

They should also have to pay FULL tuitions for at least 100 students that aren't able to afford college.  Maybe full scholarships for needy  graduate school students as well.  This would just be the beginning. The list is never ending.......books, out of the country studies, room & board, etc. 

At least 1 kid for 4 years tuition would be nice.

[Happyfatchick]

We’re in DC because I gave the hubster tickets to a Nationals game (actually a Braves game that happened to be in the Nationals stadium) for his birthday.  As we’re walking up from the metro into the stadium area, we had to pass these two guys.  Preaching through some sort of speaker system (who cares?) as we-the-people stream right on by.

I apologize; probably not funny.  (I lie:  it’s very funny!!!). 

not the first street preacher I’ve crossed paths with, and honestly, not the worst or most offensive - although they made the top 5.  I don’t understand,  I do not understand.  Who IS  this person who gets up in the morning and thinks “I’m going to reach at least ONE person for Jesus today by standing in the middle of the path, screaming hate as they walk by”?  SERIOUSLY:  WHO THINKS THAT???

there used to be a man who would dress up in a suit with a tie, open his 30 lb King James Bibl, and scream at cars as they zoomed past him in a relatively local intersection.  Even as a child I could do a pretty darn good impression of him because even as a wee thing, I could not grasp his effectiveness (or lack thereof).  This is what people heard as they went past him:

“Jesus says “for all -“

”You must be -“

“believe in the L -“

i really am sort of caught between wanting to slap them sideways and wanting to take them home (their home), give them warm milk and cookies (and a Xanax) and try to talk them through it.  

Edited September 14, 2019 by Happyfatchick

[galaxychaser]

@Happyfatchick there are Jesus is the best preacher that I saw in Times Square a few times. The man is in need of mental health services... I felt sorry for him.

[Barb23]

There are probably more pictures taken of these DC preachers than of the monuments.  

[Porkchop]

LookeyLoo ... I hope there's hope! Sometimes things turn out better than you dared hope.

[marypat57]

Lookey loo: 

 Cancer truly sucks, doesn't it!  I will offer my prayers for your son and for you. 

As others have said, you have all of us to lean on.  

[Marigold]

@lookeyloo

I'm so so sorry to hear about your son.  This is just awful. Your child. You just don't expect that as a parent. 

I'm so sick of cancer.  It's too much. 

Please keep us updated.  I have this long list of people that I pray for and think about...this horrible disease. 

[galaxychaser]

Ad that pops up now 

https://kamiwigs.com/collections/short-wigs/products/kami-005-affordable-short-wavy-synthetic-wig-for-ladies?variant=24070533873728

That wig is what Kate Gosselin had for a hairdo 😴

[funky-rat]

Re the talk of influencers on Jessa's thread:

On 9/7/2019 at 9:12 AM, fonfereksglen said:

I agree that they have to produce sales to make good money.  I wish I could find a post from a different forum written by a finance guy right after the college admission fraud story broke, that explained the influencer compensation issue. Very complicated.  When I have some time, I'll try again and post it in the small talk thread.

Another interesting read is how easy followers are accumulated and churned between influencers.

Finally, I read an article this week suggesting the influencer market is close to a crash similar to the dot com crash.  Too many influencers and not enough sales.

I work for a company that doesn't really do any endorsements, or sponsorship deals, as they're often unequal to one side - we're expected to provide tons of free product in exchange for endorsements that may or may not bring us much in the way of business.  We're in a very niche market, and we never really believed that in the grand scheme of things, someone's endorsement will bring us more business, as people tend to seek us out anyway.

But with the rise of social media and followers, someone approached us about doing an influencer type thing for one of our divisions.  I wasn't 100% convinced, as this person once had some clout, but is in an "industry" where they're hot one day, and then they'll eventually fade down, while the public has moved toward the next hot thing.  Still, they touted the ton of followers they had, and we decided to give it a try.  Two or three years out, we're clearing out the last of the co-branded stuff because this person rarely promoted us, or the special co-branded products we did with them.  It was collossal flop, and I doubt we'll be doing it ever again.  I can see the "bubble" bursting on that type of thing.  In a place where follower lists can be padded, and people can talk but not deliver, people aren't going to be paying attention like they once were, or be so eager to expend a lot of budget to develop new products (or co-brand) only to have the whole thing fail spectacularly.

RE: Explaining death to kids:

We were a mildly religious family and it was explained to me that sometimes people get really sick, and when there's no hope for them to get better, God or Jesus (depending on your theology) sends angels down to bring them up to live with them in Heaven.  Heaven is a wonderful place where those who are sick will feel better, and they will watch over us until we see them again.  I was told that one day in Heaven was like one year on Earth, because I asked if the person who passed would be bored (in not so many words) waiting for other people to come up.  Four might be too young to get the concept of other poeple who died being up there too.

For those who aren't religious, you can say again that they are sick and when they can't get better, their spirit leaves their body and goes to a place where they won't be sick anymore, or smiliar.  There are some really good kid's books out there that I'm sure can help.  You can also say that people who pass on never leave us as long as we remember them, and it's OK to cry, ask quesionts, talk about them, look at pictures, etc.  To me, that's a healthy thing.  A former co-worker had her granddaughter write letters to my co-worker's father who passed away (they were close).  I think she was 5 or 6 at the time.  No rules - she could talk about whatever she wanted to in these letters.  They would take them to the cemetery and leave them.  Then my co-worker would return and pick the letters up.  She has them saved, and will give them to her granddaughter when she's older, in a scrapbook with photos, etc.

RE: 9/11

I live in PA.  I'm about 3.5 hours outisde of DC, 3 hours outside of NYC, and about 3.5 hours outisde of Somerset, which is nothing when planes are involved.  We have nuclear power plants in the area, and it was a cause for concern.  I was in a fantastic mood that morning.  I had just gotten a new (to me) car, and it was a beautiful day.  I was at my desk (prior job to the one I'm at now) opening mail when the first plane hit, and the radio said it was an accident.  When the 2nd one hit, my boss (who had been in the military) said "That's not an accident".  Not long after, the word about the Pentagon came through, and she made a phone call to someone she knew.  She stood up and simply said "We're under attack".

Soon enough, our local podunk radio station said they were switching over to a national news feed, and we all got very scared.  All morning, misinformation came fast and furious.  We had computers, but no one had internet access.  I lived closest to home from work, so I volunteered to go home and watch TV on my lunch hour, and my boss said if I was a few minutes late, it was OK, because I had a co-worker with a brother in 2 WTC, and a co-worker who had a brother that was NYPD, and they needed clear info (they both turned out to be OK).  This was something I would regret (until this day, I do).

My first thought was to turn on WPIX 11, out of NYC.  It was frozen.  On an image of the towers burning.  Their transmitter was on top of the one tower.  Didn't occur to me.  That eerie frozen image was there for a day, until they were able to get up and running elsewhere.  That image is burned in to my brain.  I saw their mangled transmitter years later in the Newseum, in DC. 

So I started flipping channels, and became increasingly freaked out.  I ended up calling my mom in a complete panic state (she was at work).  She calmed me down, and told me that there was nothing I could have done to help any of those people (I had seen some stuff with jumpers while flipping channels), and that they've all gone up to whatever afterlife they believed in.  I went back to work, very shaken.  All day long, we kept hearing about bombs that never were, and I didn't watch anything other than cable shows that had nothing to do with news for a number of days to preserve my sanity.  I walked to the end of the driveway where I worked, and lowered the flag to half mast with a co-worker.  I never want to do that again.  My husband worked for religious nuts at the time, and he spend his lunch break praying with them.

My mother would stay up late, watching what we came to call the "Have You Seen?" show.  I saw all of 10 minutes and had to turn it off.  People would be on Channel 11 or Channel 9 showing photos of relatives.  "Has anyone seen my sister?  She worked in 1 WTC for (insert company name here)".  She's not answering her cell phone." while holding up a photo.  I get why they were doing it - there were unidentified people in hospitals and in morgues ,but it was just too much for me.  My dad brought up a good point that many potential hijackers may have gotten off of grounded planes and walked away, fading back in to society.

The next day, stores were full of patriotic stuff.  I purchased a WTC pin, and a red/white/blue ribbon, and wore it every day, until they were satisfied they had recovered everyone they could (about a year).  I still bring it out on 9/11 every year.  My husband visited the WTC when he was in middle school, and he kept it as a fond memory in an otherwise lousy childhood, so he said he took it personally.  He has a number of books on the subject, and one has simply photos of how things changed in an instant - like the roads in to NYC being closed, planes being grounded, etc.  Stuff you don't think about off the top of your head.

I didn't know anyone personally who passed, but I knew many people who knew people, and my heart still breaks just the same.  And I get very angry with the conspiracy theorists who continue to spew nonsense.

[galaxychaser]

I met people who saw people jump from towers. They were so sad describing that memory. 

If it was me I would jump too.

[allonsyalice]

6 hours ago, funky-rat said:

Re the talk of influencers on Jessa's thread:

I work for a company that doesn't really do any endorsements, or sponsorship deals, as they're often unequal to one side - we're expected to provide tons of free product in exchange for endorsements that may or may not bring us much in the way of business.  We're in a very niche market, and we never really believed that in the grand scheme of things, someone's endorsement will bring us more business, as people tend to seek us out anyway.

But with the rise of social media and followers, someone approached us about doing an influencer type thing for one of our divisions.  I wasn't 100% convinced, as this person once had some clout, but is in an "industry" where they're hot one day, and then they'll eventually fade down, while the public has moved toward the next hot thing.  Still, they touted the ton of followers they had, and we decided to give it a try.  Two or three years out, we're clearing out the last of the co-branded stuff because this person rarely promoted us, or the special co-branded products we did with them.  It was collossal flop, and I doubt we'll be doing it ever again.  I can see the "bubble" bursting on that type of thing.  In a place where follower lists can be padded, and people can talk but not deliver, people aren't going to be paying attention like they once were, or be so eager to expend a lot of budget to develop new products (or co-brand) only to have the whole thing fail spectacularly.

On the other side of this: I'm interning at a very large book publisher. We do influencer mailings (even though its not my job!!!!!) almost every week (not even joking the other intern in my department printed out the list we've got something going on until dec), mostly for lifestyle/cookbooks. For us its a way to build connections and hopefully sell more books. It's really insane. There's a list of different influencers we can access and then they point out what they're into and we do little boxes for them. With cookbooks, there are approved recipes that people can try. I don't know what the application process is like to become one, but you do have to have x amount of followers. Same with things like review copies as well. And when people email for review copies, they link to their blog/goodreads and such and then the publicist (or someone) decides.

it's a whole thing but it seems to be working for us. 

[Jenniferbug]

@mynextmistake, there is a podcast by NPR Life Kit: Parenting that is about death and helping children to cope and understand. I haven't listened to that particular episode, but I have enjoyed the other episodes I've listened to, so if you have time (it's only 24 minutes) it might be helpful. 

@lookeyloo, I'm so sorry. 

[funky-rat]

13 hours ago, allonsyalice said:

On the other side of this: I'm interning at a very large book publisher. We do influencer mailings (even though its not my job!!!!!) almost every week (not even joking the other intern in my department printed out the list we've got something going on until dec), mostly for lifestyle/cookbooks. For us its a way to build connections and hopefully sell more books. It's really insane. There's a list of different influencers we can access and then they point out what they're into and we do little boxes for them. With cookbooks, there are approved recipes that people can try. I don't know what the application process is like to become one, but you do have to have x amount of followers. Same with things like review copies as well. And when people email for review copies, they link to their blog/goodreads and such and then the publicist (or someone) decides.

it's a whole thing but it seems to be working for us. 

I could see that working well for books.  The sheer volume of books out there makes it near impossible for people to know every single thing that's going on.

Our stuff is expensive, and we serve a niche market.  People know about us and seek us out, so it's a little different, but I could easily see the general influencer trend going largely the way of the dinosaur.  Many businesses would be better off spending money given to influencers on social media/online advertising.  For us to supply product to some of these people who want the whole nine yards in exchange for an endorsement would be horribly unequal, with us getting the short shrift - we're talking tens of thousands of dollars in exchange for an endorsement from someone the general public may not know, and probably doesn't care about (and won't generate the extra income to cover the costs we'd incur).  The person we did the deal with swore up and down they'd be heavily promoting us on FB, Twitter, and Instagram, and they just didn't.  We, however, put advertising money in to promoting this person.  They promoted other products, and their personal stuff, but we got left in the dust, and it just wasn't worth it.  I'm not sure wich platform of the 3 it was, but we discovered they barely used it.

[sixlets]

@LOOKEYLOO, I am so sorry.  Your family will be in my thoughts.  

I swear, I saw the past few days coming at me for the last few weeks.  I deal with year-round allergies, but if I'm going to get sick, it's either September or October.  Sure enough, Monday, I woke up with a sore throat.  I took advantage of Target's drive-up service and stocked up on random items to get me through.  The timing couldn't be worse though.  We're supposed to be attending Mr. Six's grandmother's 90th birthday party on Saturday out of state.  I'm hoping and praying I feel better by then.  Last weekend was pretty cool though.  He got his (current) dream car.  He had a 2016 Mustang, and he now has a 2018 Mustang GT in royal blue.  It is so freaking fun to drive too!  Seeing him that happy made me happy.  I'm off to buy stock in Puffs.

[Jynnan tonnix]

13 minutes ago, sixlets said:

@LOOKEYLOO, I am so sorry.  Your family will be in my thoughts.  

I swear, I saw the past few days coming at me for the last few weeks.  I deal with year-round allergies, but if I'm going to get sick, it's either September or October.  Sure enough, Monday, I woke up with a sore throat.  I took advantage of Target's drive-up service and stocked up on random items to get me through.  The timing couldn't be worse though.  We're supposed to be attending Mr. Six's grandmother's 90th birthday party on Saturday out of state.  I'm hoping and praying I feel better by then.  Last weekend was pretty cool though.  He got his (current) dream car.  He had a 2016 Mustang, and he now has a 2018 Mustang GT in royal blue.  It is so freaking fun to drive too!  Seeing him that happy made me happy.  I'm off to buy stock in Puffs.

Hope you feel better soon...I don't generally suffer too much from allergies, but my eyes were watering like crazy this morning, and now I'm starting to get a bit of a sore throat from swallowing post-nasal gunk all day. I think it's probably just allergies, but I've also felt really chilly, which, while it's only been in the 60's today, is still what I would generally consider short-sleeve weather. Normally I only start feeling cold either when the temperature gets into the lower 40's or I am coming down with something. 

[Sew Sumi]

A little "sick" humor...

Got a flu shot this morning. Came home, and inside of 10 minutes, I was sneezing my head off. Flu! 😂

Naw, it rained this morning, and pollen got stirred up. I have wretched fall allergies. 

[CalicoKitty]

12 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

A little "sick" humor...

Got a flu shot this morning. Came home, and inside of 10 minutes, I was sneezing my head off. Flu! 😂

Naw, it rained this morning, and pollen got stirred up. I have wretched fall allergies. 

 I can always tell when the grape crush starts.  I always start sneezing.