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S15.E05: Sink or Swim


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I can't believe they thought Jenni's swmsuit looked grandmotherly, but they loved Alex's cover-up. What are these judges' grandmothers like? Not like mine, I can tell you that.

Although that coverup did have some points in common with that awful red carpet dress Nina just wore.

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Sara and Jenny should both be out, for those swimsuits. I hated that Jenny got away with that awful look. It was even worse that she thought it was great...she has awful taste. It reminded me of spoiled Pepto Bismal. 

 

I liked the boho caftan cover-up alot, but the suit was nothing special, and the bright blue trim was jarring to me. The right one won.

Heidi looked especially beautiful in the workroom segment tonight. Not just the cute outfit but her hair, face etc. She is really gorgeous.

Even ol' Nina is looking pretty good for how many years this show has been on. 

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28 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

Correct person won!

Some of these models are the worst walkers ever!!!

I agree, although I was rooting for Roberi who has been robbed previously.  What I loved about Rik's was the addition of the pseudo belt on the swimsuit -- very flattering detail (I just realized it was a clever use of his original design -- it wasn't actually designed as a belt).  What I dinged him for was a partial cover-up vs a true cover-up but it's a nit-picky point.  If I had a swimsuit body I would definitely buy Rik!

And yeah, glad you mentioned the crappy walkers we have this season!  Roberi definitely has a loser model IMO: can't walk and has a constant smacked-bottom face!  And poor Tasha got her sister apparently.

Edited by DHDancer
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Ok, seriously, for me this is one of the worst seasons for watching them toungue-bathe what I consider a trainwreck. The coverup where "even Grandma would be like, don't bury me in that shitty nightgown" is something everyone is dying to wear? Honest to god, it's like they mugged my grandma for her outfit and Grandma died 20 years ago, so.. dated old lady shapeless housedress.

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These poor people having to design and make swimwear. I get hives at just the thought of going swimsuit shopping. At least the models are tall, skinny , and no boobs so easier to fit I imagine.

Finally Roberi got some recognition. He didn't win but at least was in the top three. I loved Rik's suit and coverup. Glad he won. I did not understand why everyone loved Alex's little house on the prairie coverup. 

All bottom three were bad. I like Tasha but her suit was poorly made. The other two were not good either, Sarah's print was childish. I didn't mind Jenni's print but the top and bottom didn't go together and the coverup was weird. 

Why did they think Lucky Whatshisname would be a good judge? Just because he has sisters, which he kept mentioning? It seemed like the producers were telling him what to say.

A nitpick: Heidi looked hideous tonight. She looked like a schoolmarm when she visited the workroom. And then had the nerve to tell Jenni her look was 'old lady'. Then at judging that bright green dress and matching boots made her look like a giant lime. 

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4 minutes ago, avecsans said:

 I didn't like Sarah's or Jenni's garments either, but how did Tasha survive?   At least their suits and cover ups were relatively well made.  Tasha's had no design and was so ill-fitting.

This x 1000!   I really like the gal, but man, what a pitiful effort.   IMO, she should have gone home, regardless of the little girl print or the lilac creation.   

I agree with the points about the models this season.   I don't even know how some of them *are* considered models.  Just horrible. 

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I thought Rik's was one of the few that women of not-model proportions might want to wear -- as long as it was made with more fabric over the butt. If it was mad with strong lycra and a tummy panel, the black and white design and the cut would give the wearer more of an hourglass figure look. I would buy it -- if, of course, it were made to cover my utt.

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Tasha's was awful!!  I thought she should be a goner but knew it would be sarah due to the sudden burst of screen time when she'd previously been invisible. 

The blue tattoo- patterned suit with long dress-  I thought for sure they would say it's too little House on the Prairie, or the pattern was like grandma's table cloth. Color me surprised that they loved it! I thought they were going to say the bathing suit was baggy and ill-fitting.

i think it's a PR rule now that they must say labia, nipples, or vagina on every episode.

Love how we have rik and brik!

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Surprisingly glumpy models. Maybe word's out, this show does nothing for your modeling career (do they even win anything anymore?). Meanwhile, Heidi is beautiful, her green outfit has got to go---is it from her line? Why else would she wear it? (Tim! You enabled her!)

I'll come back when several of the the lesser designers (there's a bunch) are gone. Show has taught me the winnowing with a crowd like this can make for some painful viewing.

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Roberi's model looked miserable and sluggish. I didn't  Love his suit, but like him, and glad he finally got some recognition. 

i didn't think Jenni's pattern or suit itself was too bad, definitely not worse than Tasha's, but the center panel pull-off pants were weird. 

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Things I liked about the episode:

  • Creating definite type of clothing was mandatory, not just "make a garment of your choice."
  • The design was printed on something other than plain cotton, it actually had some stretch.
  • Cornelius ate some humble pie.
  • The winning look

Things I didn't:

  • The runner up look.  It looked like kitchen curtains.
  • No way was Jenni's look worse than Tasha's, IMO.
  • Most of models' shoes.
Edited by backgroundnoise
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Am I the only one who caught the inappropriate close up of Roberi's model when the judges were looking closer at the best and worst? The vee of the suit was not nearly tight enough and the cameraman zoomed in something serious. Luckily she's shaved cause...yeah.

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1 hour ago, avecsans said:

What in the world is a Lucky Blue Smith? And what qualifies him to judge swimsuits?  It was painful to listen to him speak.

"Everyone's favorite male model" according to Teen Vogue.

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9 minutes ago, lordonia said:

I think sometimes when we see shots of Heidi with a skeptical or dismayed expression during the runway, her consternation is about the models, not the clothing.

I question her taste level.

I used to question it, but I feel like I know now.

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I was expecting Roberi's suit to be among the lowest scored. The way the the cut-out was positioned between the top and the bottom, the top ended well below her boobs but it made it look as if her boobs sagged that low on her torso. I couldn't believe they thought it was so flattering to her body, I thought it made her boobs look flattened and saggy. My number one requirement for a swimsuit is that it make my boobs look good.

Edited by absolutelyido
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I don't believe for a hot New York minute that Nina would wear that sister-wife coverup with the cheap trim and the nylon panels. And the swimsuit that went with it was a total snooze. Erin's swimsuit was also hella boring as was her print. At least she had enough sense to scrap the gingham table cloth coverup.

I don't know why they're saving Tasha. I want her to succeed but this doesn't seem like the right competition for her.

Robieri's suit looked unflattering and made the wearer look boxy. But I almost liked the print.

Is Sarah the one with the stupid laugh? I hope so.

Denim? For a swimsuit? Who the hell wants a denim swimsuit?

Jenni - no one wants to fish around between her legs to find her coverup.

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3 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

She looked like a schoolmarm when she visited the workroom.

The blue and the embellishments to me looked like she was going to be on a different kind of runway, giving the safety briefing and pointing where the exits are.

Jenni's look was as odd as her laugh (which even though she did laugh today it wasn't the horse braying laugh if you noticed so it's totally something she is in control of and is put on for occasion) it had lines going everywhere and it got wierder as the "reveal" went on, first the odd choice of location for the 'tear away' portion and then what she though made the bottom better? Yikes.

Speaking of odd between Heidi's boots and that hat Erin was rocking (I just realized what it was, it looked like a sock monkey hat!) there were some questionable choices beyond just what ended up on the models. The guest judge was also a curious choice.

Speaking of odd designer choices I still can't believe that a black 'cover-up' that didn't fasten and that teenie tiny triangle bikini wasn't even considered for going home. What a joke.

I have no idea how Jenni's was grandmotherly and yet that "full coverage" look with the coverup that really did cover up, well, everything, wasn't... I felt I maybe had taken crazy pills.

Zooming into the bottoms of the suits close enough to see razor bumps was a bit too close for comfort for me. At least we didn't have any 'labial slippage'.

Edited by Wandering Snark
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I would rather wear a junior print than a yoga mat any day. 

 

I don't remember Nathalia's print but loved hers coming down the runway.

Unfortunate time of year to promote a swimwear line, but I guess Heidi didn't have a choice on that.

Edited by TVGlow
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3 hours ago, auntlada said:

I thought Rik's was one of the few that women of not-model proportions might want to wear -- as long as it was made with more fabric over the butt. If it was mad with strong lycra and a tummy panel, the black and white design and the cut would give the wearer more of an hourglass figure look. I would buy it -- if, of course, it were made to cover my utt.

Agreed! His was the only one that I would love to buy if it was available in my size. Alas, it looks like it only goes up to a size large, or the equivalent of a US size 10. Sigh...

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Who designed Heidi’s outfit, Kermit the frog?

My favorites were Rik, Erin, & Alex, so I was happy to see Rik win.

I hated Brik’s I don’t know how he was safe, his suit gave the model a really strange shape. Tasha got lucky, because her suit was bad. I really didn’t see what was horrible about Jenni or Sarah’s suits though, I thought Brik’s was worse than either one of theirs.

Who was the guest judge? I've never heard of him & I'm guessing he still lives with mommy & daddy since he kept bringing up the three sisters he lives with.

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I also noticed the glum, depressed look on Robieri's model. She had a habit of looking at the ground.

Both Sarah and Jenni should have gone home.

Cornelius always has a "I just smelled something nasty" look on his face. Wasn't just once, like last week. Please send this person home soon!

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That ill-fitting, boring monstrosity by Roberi was top 3? Okay, then. 

Very few of them looked good, but that was mostly fit. I was more put off by the models' figures than the suits. There's a reason swimsuit models have curves. Bikinis on little boys just do nothing for me. I was focused on some of the bones jutting out of those poor women’s bodies. It reminded me of why I hate the fashion industry so much. 

I liked the one pieces more than the bikinis, in general. However, Mah-Jing did the best bikini. 

I didn't hate Sarah's. I think it fit well, and I liked the top. Of course, her model had at least something in her bra, so that had an influence. I wouldn't put my six-year-old in it, Nina, you idiot. 

Rik's print was cool. I liked that the legs weren't cut high. I think it would flatter lots of women. Nothing earth shattering, though. 

The judges saying Tasha's wasn't original made me laugh. None of them were. 

As for the models, this may be the best they can get. I vaguely remember reading something from a model in the early seasons. She said it paid poorly, and you weren't guaranteed to work the entire season, but you couldn't take jobs that might conflict with the shooting. The models actually lost money for little guaranteed reward. 

Edited by azshadowwalker
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I am officially withdrawing my name from the Fans of Tasha roll call.  Girl...how hard can it be to make a swim top that covers and flatters?  It's two triangles with some string.  She already had a fitting and knew it was too small.  And then gets all panicky and flustered as time winds down.  Not to mention the "Rasta" print which 2 judges mistook for a Chinese/Japanese restaurant menu.  She really deserved to go home.  

Rik's was so superior to everyone's else's...from the minute it hit the runway it stood out.

Heidi has the worst taste in clothes.  I'm sure her stylist is there, but ultimately it's Heidi's choice and it's always a bad one.  So. Much. Green. 

Edited by Albino
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4 hours ago, Ketzel said:

"Everyone's favorite male model" according to Teen Vogue.

He spoke like a character out of Zoolander. 

Full disclosure: in the early 70s, we had denim swimsuits.  These were usually a bikini top and hip huggers cut into a bikini bottom.   

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5 hours ago, absolutelyido said:

I was expecting Roberi's suit to be among the lowest scored. The way the the cut-out was positioned between the top and the bottom, the top ended well below her boobs but it made it look as if her boobs sagged that low on her torso. I couldn't believe they thought it was so flattering to her body, I thought it made her boobs look flattened and saggy. My number one requirement for a swimsuit is that it make my boobs look good.

The model looked like she had no waist. The cut-out just made her look straight up and down, which she may have been actually, as some of these models don't have much in the way of breasts or hips, but the swimsuit could have given the illusion of a waist. I thought there was too much fabric below the cut-out. I think. There was something weird and off about it, but I'm not sure what it was. Too much fabric on the sides below the cut-out might have been part of it.

I'm not a huge fan of swimsuits for grown women that don't have bra cups and support. I don't like the ones that just flatten the breasts. But judging from red carpet dresses I've seen in the last few years, celebrities and designers are fans of that look. And maybe when Heidi and Nina wear swimsuits, they don't wear them to swim, but just to lie around on the beach.

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I've just starting watching.  (The show is more enjoyable if I know the top/bottom people and follow their process instead of getting sidetracked by the red herrings and drama.)

 

One early note:  I wouldn't mind if people who throw "literally" into their "eating a shit sandwich" metaphor . . . had to learn their lesson the hard way.

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8 hours ago, CoyoteBlue said:

Ok, seriously, for me this is one of the worst seasons for watching them toungue-bathe what I consider a trainwreck. The coverup where "even Grandma would be like, don't bury me in that shitty nightgown" is something everyone is dying to wear? Honest to god, it's like they mugged my grandma for her outfit and Grandma died 20 years ago, so.. dated old lady shapeless housedress.

Nina loved it.  Of course it was as ugly as sin.

And I loved that the 3 winners were 1 pieces.   More opportunity to show design chops than a bikini.  Alex was lucky he listened to Tim.  Those seams down the middle were because he was replacing that ugly blue material and he had to "make it work".  I usually love Roberi's stuff, but not this time.  I hate the side cut-outs and it seems to fit funny.

And because it can't be said enough, please go away soon Cornelius. 

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4 hours ago, Albino said:

 Girl...how hard can it be to make a swim top that covers and flatters?  It's two triangles with some string.

Actually very hard, as was proved last night. With respect...

My grandmother was a well known, high end lingerie designer back in the 1920's-40's And making a garment which both serves comfortable function (containing the boobs without crushing, letting them fall out and being wearable all day) plus being attractive is damn hard requiring a complete understanding of the many varieties of the female body as well as a full understanding of the the available materials (and she worked before the modern fabrics like spandex and such). I believe it was in the 1940's (or was it the 50's?) when Jane Russel designed a cantilevered bra to hold up and flatter her D's and then became a consultant and spokesperson for Maidenform (?) for 'us full-figured gals'. Anyone remember 'lift and seperate'?

When you add in the possibility that a bathing suit is supposedly designed to be worn when, you know, swimming it adds another dimension of whoop ass to the designers. I would have been interested to see those models have to maybe enter a pool and see what happened to those suits.

Obviously those designers were just going for a look, not a practical suit but a one day challenge--again--isn't much time for that. And, clearly, Heidi and company were just going for a look, not suits which could really be worn for anything other than lounging around the pool or a bar. Silly me; I go to the pool to swim and so, clearly, am not a customer Heidi would be interested in.

There's a real set of reasons why bathing suits and lingerie are specialty niches of fashion.

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Quote

Full disclosure: in the early 70s, we had denim swimsuits.  These were usually a bikini top and hip huggers cut into a bikini bottom.   

Quote

Denim? For a swimsuit? Who the hell wants a denim swimsuit?

The first thing I thought of was Gloria Bunker Stivic in 1973.

                          Here she is in her denim swimsuit:  front     back

 

This episode was pretty boring, but I do think the right person won. 

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Now, was Cornelius happy with this assignment or not?  I couldn't tell.

 

Somebody needed to be smart enough to pick up some stretchy swimsuit material at Mood in a corresponding color to the self-design and save the creative print for the coverup.  Constructing a swimsuit out of fabric without any "give"?  Yeah, that's a bitch.

 

I liked the bright green scales print with the big reptile eye.  (Backstory suggestion:  with snakes, a vertical pupil means "danger--this one's deadly.  Ssssssss!")  Oh wait, he scrapped the eye and put in random white piping for interest.  Mistake--the beauty of snake scales is the uninterrupted fluidity.   Dismissed.

Speaking of snakes, Heidi looked like a giant green garter snake.

 

Some designers cheated a little by obscuring the butt view the whole time with the coverup.

 

They put Alex over Roberi?!?!?!  GTFO.  Alex's coverup looked like a chemise a pioneer girl would wear for bathing down at the creek.  Heidi thought "It sings!" and Zac thought "Sardinia"?  Please.  Yes, Nina, let's see you sporting that sleeveless schmatta look at your infinity pool.

 

As usual, I greatly admired Roberi.  Loved his macaw feathers and the color contrast and weight of the coverup.  (I didn't see the point of the horizontal seam all the way across the front of the coverup--until I saw it on both sides, I thought he'd suffered a giant thread pull.)

 

Tasha's bikini was painful, but the coverup was rich, with some nice detail that may have been beautiful, but didn't show at all in black.  Iffy print, mismatched triangular nipple patches, black beach cover, tortured gladiator straps--she's lucky to see Week Six.

 

Very hard to look at a panel of pale lavender and not wonder:  Is that polyester?

 

I've thought all along that Sarah was Jenny.  I even praised her early in the show for laughing in her TH without making the donkey bray.

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3 minutes ago, candall said:

Somebody needed to be smart enough to pick up some stretchy swimsuit material at Mood in a corresponding color to the self-design and save the creative print for the coverup.  Constructing a swimsuit out of fabric without any "give"?  Yeah, that's a bitch.

I was curious about that the whole time. Did they get to choose the kind of fabric their pattern would be printed on? Obviously the swimsuit and the wrap would be entirely different materials. Jenny's top, for example, looked like stretchy swimsuit material, but some of those droopy other ones did not.

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2 minutes ago, Maya said:

I was curious about that the whole time. Did they get to choose the kind of fabric their pattern would be printed on? Obviously the swimsuit and the wrap would be entirely different materials. Jenny's top, for example, looked like stretchy swimsuit material, but some of those droopy other ones did not.

I'm sure the Design Your Own Material Challenge was paired with swimsuits to give the designers conniptions about achieving perfect fit without benefit of stretchy fabric.  They've done this previously on PR so I think they hope some of the naughty bits will show or slip out entirely.  Hoo boy, all part of the fun. [/sarcasm]

 

Come to think of it, the designers might even be prohibited from buying swimsuit material at Mood.  Anyone who did would have a huge time/fit advantage.

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I think the print material had to have some stretch, or else Heidi wouldn't have been able to put Jenni's bottom on over her jeans like that.

I thought that was a dick move on Heidi's part.  The bottoms aren't going to look the same when on over jeans, so trying to judge them like that wasn't possible, plus she may have stretched them out.

I don't get why Jenni's was considered grandmotherly.  Was that just for the coverup part?  I agree the top and bottom styles didn't match (top sporty, bottom hoochy), but grandmotherly? 

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Haven't gotten to actually SEE the end yet because the Lifetime site is horrendous for trying to watch anything but commercials.

Rik's was definitely the best and even if everything else had been up to snuff, his would have still won, it was that good.

LOVE Roberi, but the fit of that swimsuit was terrible. I did like the print, but (quelle surprise, for me) agreed with Nina that it should have been larger scaled. Coverup was gorgeous shade of red and very flattering though. Also, I thought he was robbed of being in the top a couple times previously, so because everything else was so iffy, I was fine with him being in the top this time.

Alex, though. I feel like it's opposite day. Print must have looked hundreds of time better than it looked on television. Swimsuit was terribly made and had wrinkles and bags at both the "flattering" side seams and the crotch. Ugh. And the coverup. What the pixellated fuck were Heidi, Nina and Lucky Smith Overalls talking about saying that is was the most beautiful coverup on the runway? I thought it looked like a muslin sheet from the 70s that he cut armholes into and attempted to elasticize the waist, but didn't succeed. Also, his vocal fry is driving me crazier than Jenni's.

Tasha should have definitely gone home over Sarah, but maybe they were report carding or something because Sarah's looks have been boring every single outing and Nina even rolls her eyes when Sarah's hit the runway. Tasha was top 3 in the first challenge. I do believe this competition is not for her, though, and I'll hate to see her leave because I like her.

Finally, for now, I H A T E the Heidi challenges of lingerie, athleisure wear or now, swimsuits. UGH. Worst for me from her tonight though, was the Jolly Green Giant suit at judging. Was she testing out her Halloween costume for this year? And what was Nina wearing? Was that a print jumper over a white tee shirt? Zac was the only one was dressed suitably to judge other people's designs this week; he was the only one who could reasonably question "taste level."

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Maybe it's a psychological problem on my part, but the fact that the blue piping stripes on Alex's suit were not symmetrical really bothered me.  Like an itch.  And the cover up looked like something dirndl-loving Gretchen would have produced back in the day. 

While I liked the idea of the pants that tear away dramatically (it looked kind of like I Dream of Jeannie), it didn't really cover anything up, and was awkward to re-attach. So, fail.  The itsy-bitsy teeny weenie that Tasha sent down the runway made me nervous.  One model, with curly hair, was rocking an EPIC bitch face.  Brik's suit made his model look like a boy. 

Also, not one of the designs, as far as I could tell, included pockets in the cover up.  Where are you gonna put your room key card when you're down at the pool?  There were a couple of "safe" designs that could have replaced Alex's look in the top three.

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Why wasn't Cornelius on the bottom?

I loved the suit that won.  I didn't think Jenni's was that bad..I kind of liked the color and pattern and it did not remind me of a yoga mat. I figured they'd keep her because, you know...the laugh.  Tasha's was the worst but I like her so I'm glad she didn't get auf'd.

Alex said he researched Heidi's site and that's the type of clothing there.  I was like WTF..since when does Heidi like Little House.

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What was up with Roberi's model? She looked like some unsuspecting Croatian tourist they'd just yanked in off the street -- a little confused, a little embarrassed, and walking in heels for the first time ever. Did she even have her hair and makeup done? And she was either the victim of a very unfortunate bikini wax, or she forgot to wax altogether. We actually pressed pause when the camera was traveling past the suit bottoms and said, "Are those pubes hanging out?" I hated the suit anyway, but that model certainly did it no favors.

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Who designed Heidi’s outfit, Kermit the frog?

My favorites were Rik, Erin, & Alex, so I was happy to see Rik win.

I hated Brik’s I don’t know how he was safe, his suit gave the model a really strange shape. Tasha got lucky, because her suit was bad. I really didn’t see what was horrible about Jenni or Sarah’s suits though, I thought Brik’s was worse than either one of theirs.

Who was the guest judge? I've never heard of him & I'm guessing he still lives with mommy & daddy since he kept bringing up the three sisters he lives with.

I wondered who he was, too. The way he talked made him seem like he was either heavily medicated or simply slow.

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