BusyOctober

I wasn't expecting Arlene to go like that. This show's body count is going to rival "Sopranos" pretty soon. I also wasn't expecting Bryce's book to be a big hit with the White Supremacist crowd. I did htink there had to be something up when he got his book deal. But I figured it was one of those scam-type fake publishing deals...like Bryce would be on the hook for the cost of the "printing" or the distribution. Can M & M die ASAP? It can be quick & off screen. As much as I loathe these characters, I don't need to see their deaths drawn out, or in an extremely painful. manner...that just means more screen time for them. I swear, the campy, OTT villains on the old Adam West 1960's "Batman" series had more credibility and gravitas then M & M.

"I want to know" WTF I watched for 7 weeks. I feel like the writers wrote "Emmy reel" scenes for Meryl Streep & Laura Dern first, THEN half-assed it to craft the rest of the stories around them. The legal battle & courtroom proceedings were made up BS. No WAY ML's issues didn't come up long before Celeste's Closing Argument Eve revelation. And I have a hard time believing a FAMILY COURT judge would let 2 minor, very young children attend that shit show (just a couple of eleventy-million flaws against reality that irked me about the overwrought, unrealistic custody battle plot). I don't get the point of Bonnie's mom. She came in like a stealth shit stirrer and ends up dying silently? I guess we got a little bit of Bonnie's back story filled in but, still unsatisfying. And, since no one cared enough to make us care about Nathan, bye dude! Madeline & Ed's marriage is magically healed with some cool hipster throwback music & a hippy chic private beach wedding? I can't even with Gordon and his inability to read the room. Too bad that bat didn't do more damage. We all are left to imagine what happens to the Monterey 5 after they walk in to the Police Station? Beyond being guilty of delaying/impeding the investigation, I would imagine none of them are going to be charged with murder. Maybe manslaughter or a lesser charge? But Bonnie was defending a person getting beaten up. She was intervening to assist someone first, not deliberately trying to kill the aggressor. And if anyone with a grain of sense in the aftermath of the "push" thought about it, or obtained legal counsel LAST SEASON, we wouldn't have had to limp through this extraneous second season.

I'm sure this has been covered with all the other annoying pharma ads, but seeing the Emgality ad for the 50 millionth time has broken me. The mom suffers from migraines and poor little child has vewy vewy sad feewings b/c mommy may not be able to play <insert frowny face here>. I HATE THAT MOTHER (and by association...the kid). I hate the way the woman speaks...there's a vocal fry when the kid asks her if "mommy can play", and mom replies "sure honey! wanna plaaaaaaaaaAAAAAYYY...PIRATE & PRINCESS?!?!?!" GAH! I HATE this ad sooo much! I have no real reason other than her voice. Wish I could sue for the assault on my eardrums. I I just HATE that lady & her voice & the whole stupid premise. I can't dive for the mute button on the remote fast enough when I see/hear it. I need to go breathe into a paper bag and calm the eff down...Emagality lady has raised my BP. And I think I'm getting a headache. I'm sure there are pill ads coming on that can help me... side note: (I know migraines are no joke and people truly suffer horrible, debilitating pain. I have no problem advertising the drug if it can help anyone!)

Preach! This show has been an escapist goofy OTT guilty pleasure in the past, but this season is losing me. I hate M & M and the whole casino thing. I don't get what many of the side plots are for...UncleDaddy's rehab insurance scam?? Is that bringing in any money? Or doing any actual rehabing? Mahjong??? Who cares! Desna's dad being found after 40+ years and being oh-so cool with meeting his adult kids & wanting to move in with them??? Polly has always been the crazy pants in the crew, but I don't get why she is with the casino dude. Brazenly shaking down store owners and robbing them for a thrill is going to land her back in jail. And I still don't understand how Quiet Ann's cop GF is still involved with her. Didn't GF & her partner try to bust Desna's whole crew? How do they have a relationship with the cop knowing all the dirt? How does GF keep her job as a cop when she's dating a known criminal?

In addition to her ridiculous outfit and that gimmicky eye patch and her loosely-goosey fluid accent, what is up with Madonna’s teeth? Does she have braces? Dentures? False teeth as part of this new album’s “persona”? And why does she behave like a complete asshole In every interview? The goal is to promote your latest opus to the unwashed masses, so maybe show a little gratitude for being given a platform to peddle it? If she feels she is so superior and above doing chat shows or press junkets, then stay the fuck home. Aside from her presence, I liked the other guests. Ian McKellan is a joy. I really want to see “Yesterday”, and Himesh Patel has a lovely voice.

I missed the explanation of the snorkel challenge...why did the camera keep zooming in on Chris and Brett’s gnome?? was there a coin hidden on him? I missed what they missed obviously! I never watched Big Brother so I have no idea who any of those teams are. I don’t know anything about Nicole, except that when she speaks I want to jab an ice pick in my ear. The accent and the whimpering whine combined have convinced me that her boyfriend and all of her friends and family back home must be profoundly deaf.

Rinna is going to hustle until she makes Amelia Gray (& the Other One) “happen”, come Hell or high water. She raised those girls to be vapid, selfish and spoiled. They watched their mother starve herself and obsess over her weight and looks for years. Like most women and girls in Hollywood/Beverly Hills, the outward appearance is all that matters. Wear the right designer. Carry the right bag. Have a glam squad on retainer for even the most mundane trips out of the house. Eschew serious pursuit of an education; just get into a “prestigious” school thanks to your parents checkbook and/or connections. And above all, keep your face and antics in the public eye CONSTANTLY! If you aren’t on Instagram or YouTube around the clock, promoting yourself or your ‘cause of the week’ or your favorite brand of 10” long fake eyelashes, then you don’t exist. As the parent of one of these pretty-pretty outer shell young adults, Rinna now overcompensates for their lack in substance. She exaggerates any perceived accomplishments. Her daughter is an “activist” because she wants to study nutrition and psychology? Um...how ‘bout she gets a degree in either first, then puts her knowledge and skills to work? If Amelia is an activist for talking about her eating disorder or her mom’s tv show, then is she a ‘writer’ because she signed her dad’s birthday card? I truly wish the young woman good health and recovery, but I don’t think she is helping anyone at this point in her “journey”. No one with any type of disorder can make the announcement one week, declare themselves in recovery the next, then take on the role of activist or role model the next.

THIS^^^^^^^ Bethenny may be the self appointed caretaker of all the little wounded (aka-drunk off their asses) birdies, but that comment was cruel and intentionally meant to exalt B over Tinsley, because B has a child. That was a swift, deep cut (even if Tinsley didn’t hear it or react to it). Luann has officially lost her ties to reality. She is “singing” in clubs right now, but that won’t last forever. After her “fans” and the oddly curious people have seen her show once, then what? I can’t imagine there are people paying multiple times to see the same 6 Jovani dresses and the same lame RHONY inside “jokes”, or tolerate her voice beyond her 60-90 min set. She acts as if she is at the same iconic level as Barbara Streisand or Celine Dion. She hasn’t been around long enough. She is not talented enough, or rich enough or beloved enough to merit the adoration, the kowtowing or cult following she has deluded herself into believing she has earned. WTF was that “party”?? Is there an app for trolling rich, single men in the Miami? Did Romona send out a mass tweet or blanket the bars with flyers to get those “guests” to the house? Just seems so random...aside from Mario and rum guy, did any of the women know any of the other guests??? And I am shocked that Tinsley was able to get her sister into Romona’s sausage party. One extra (and significantly younger) vagina in the room could have off set Ramona’s, Sonja’s and Lu’s ability to hook up with their next Mr. Right Now.

Caryn is one stupid woman. If she did indeed have an affair with Matt, that was Stupid Act #1. Now Matt and Amy are divorced, and the drawn out decision over the farm seems to be in progress. Caryn still keeps opening her mouth to bitch about Amy in as many ways as she can. Did she think that once Amy opted to move off the farm that meant Amy would suddenly vaporize and disappear from being on the planet? Amy is going to be in Matt’s world until either one of them dies. They share kids, in-laws and most importantly, grandchildren. Caryn has been pissed off at Amy before she made her decision (although why, I don’t know...it is not her business, her property or her family). Now Amy makes a hard emotional decision and all Caryn can harp about is she hopes Amy doesn’t take “2 more years” to do xyz. SHUT IT, you stupid cow! There is only one thing I can think of that could potentially delay Caryn’s blissfully wedded life with Matt; she wants to see the bank statements before the final settlement and what it looks like after. Other than sinking her claws into Matt’s money, there should be nothing stopping those two from marrying, traveling or buying more turd infested property. She wants to know how much of Matt’s cash she will get to manipulate, and the cost of Amy’s buyout is what is worrying her. Caryn and her poor, put upon, long suffering shtick has worn thin. She knows her exasperated eye rolling and little digs are filmed along with her fakey- fake kumbaya, let’s all get along segments, right? She understands that while she smiles to Amy’s face, but makes fun of her with Matt behind Amy’s back, that Amy and her family and her friends will be able to watch this on tv? Caryn the stupid cow needs to go stand in the pumpkin patch while the Rolloff family discuss their business and their finances.

I finally watched this dreck. I kept waiting for the punch line...that these were all just PA's or people off the street instead of "design school graduates" as their chyrons stated. First things first...every single one of them needs to get their $19.95/semester back from whatever unaccredited, online "University" they stumbled onto during a late night of drunk TV watching and questioning their life choices up til that point. None of them had any real skills. It was worse than the crafting time I spent as a Daisy Scout Leader of a dozen 5 year olds. The young woman in the overalls with the unfounded sense of confidence and overestimation of her abilities had a very off putting personality. She told the audience exactly who she is in her first TH. She said she got into "design" because she made fun of her friends' and families' decor and sense of taste. Really? So being a bitch is all you need on your resume to be a designer? I hope they don't do anything like this again. Or if they need filler, then have the real TS designers compete instead of unemployed, untalented randos the casting folks found milling around the the local Starbucks.

I’d like to invite Caryn to take the head chair at the shut your fucking pie hole table. Enough with her passive aggressive digs at Amy. Yes, the made for tv farm drama has to be played out, so everyone earns a paycheck. But whoever is feeding Caryn her storyline needs to stop her and Matt from saying Amy is “holding them hostage”...they can’t move forward...they don’t know what their future holds until Amy makes the decision. Really??? Matt has bought at least two properties with Caryn’s involvement; he bought HER parents’ retirement condo in AZ and that “investment” land that’s covered in mold and rat turds. I don’t think poor, long suffering Matt is having any trouble moving on with whatever the hell Matt wants to do. I’m glad Amy spoke up and told Matt she doesn’t need Chris to manage or consult or guide her decision process. I wish she would have an honest discussion with each of her kids to let them know why the “farm” is equivalent to family to her. She is afraid she won’t see her 3 sons or her grand kids as often if she moves. They need to reassure her that she is not going to be excluded or forgotten if she lives in a new condo or house not in smelling distance of Matt’s manure. Molly is out of state, so she will always visit her mom when she makes trips to OR. I don’t know about her relationship with Jacob since he isn’t filmed, but I assume it’s good since he and his fiancé lived with Amy for a while. Amy and Zach seem close, and Tori looks like she has a good connection. I don’t see Tori or Zach withholding their kids from Amy. Now, Jerk and Odd could be a different story. Jerk has made snide remarks about Amy because of the divorce. And Odd, patron saint of the thigh gap and gaping maw Instastories, has little respect for Amy for not being subservient enough to make her miserable marriage to a miserable man work. What dog food are they giving Murphy??? He is HUGE! Is there a reason why they haven’t brought him to obedience training? Between his size, lack of training and Zach’s back problems, Tori will be the only person able to walk or kinda control Murphy for a long time. I see Jackson getting knocked down & dragged by that dog in the future, and it won’t be the dog’s fault. I have to wonder if Tori and Zach are playing dumb for the drama factor or if they are truly in denial about Zach’s health/potential health issues? Tori looked floored by the news Zach may need surgery...sooner or later, but at some point. The guy has had multiple surgeries and hospitalizations since he was a kid. Zach has to be aware of his own condition and what could be ahead for him, right? But, they did buy a house with a stupid multi-level layout. And, they have a rambunctious large breed dog they haven’t trained, so maybe they are as clueless as shown on tv.

THIS! I don't get the airs of superiority these UNKNOWN designers put out there. Yes, you are an artist with a p.o.v., and you have preferences of color, style, cut, etc. However, until you are an established designer with a following or the accolades from the industry, who the hell cares that you 'only work with X' or 'only make Y'? You can showcase your specialty but you need to be flexible! If a customer likes the baseline of your dress, but wants it to have a cap sleeve, or raise the hem, or wants the exact dress but in a different color....you are going to say "No!, get out of my bedroom closet that I pretend is my atelier!!! I do not do PINK!" OK, have fun making rent this month, bitch. Once you hit the big time, then you can push your unimaginative, crappy, unfinished hemmed, 'charcoal and anthracite' (aka - black and more black) pants and jumpsuits. Tessa made several comments and facial expressions over this season that tell the world how much she dislikes anything that is not her idea. She only wants to make minimal black tattered pants and tunics for very thin women. So... she only wants to design for her doppelganger?

Good thing I don't play drinking games anymore. If the "Drink!" words were "Caryn" "Caryn Chandler" or "Pumpkin Season", I'd have been dead before the first commercial break. Give it a rest already. Caryn may be Matt's GF, but now she's the patron saint of pumpkin season too? I thought Matt the Genius orchestrated everything good and profitable on the farm? Now we find out that Caryn was the brains, heart, soul and muscle of the whole thing! That stupid money pit Pirate Ship is still not open to the public?? WTH? Hasn't that boondoggle been sitting on the property for 2 pumpkin seasons now? If Matt were truly the "detail oriented" person he thinks he is, that thing would have been inspected and repaired and refreshed by August. Who walks the property or attractions on a big commercial enterprise the day before opening? And where is "Farmer Jer" or the Invisible Boy Jacob to swing a hammer to fix those errant nails Ol' Eagle Eyes Matt discovered? The dog vs. diaper thing made me gag. I had to turn off the volume & leave the room til it was over. I am still sick over the idea that filthy dog mouth was riding in close proximity to Jackson on their ride home. Tori is starting to disappoint. She can't work pumpkin season b/c she's oh-so busy watching Jackson & Murphy. Huh??? There are just so many logical solutions to that made up problem that I just can't even. And if she is spending so much time with Murphy, then why isn't he starting to learn obedience commands? If he is still too rambunctious and not following his master, and could potentially interfere with paying customers, then maybe stay home? But I guess if she (and Zack) are stupid enough to get a large, energetic dog capable of knocking down small people, then I should know they are too stupid to enroll that dog in puppy school. Enough with the farm property and the future of pumpkin season! All the talk about the precious memories, and dreams of the grandkids doing the same things their parents did on the farm...enough. Memories of good/bad times will stay with you, no matter where you live. The grandchildren will have their own memories of different adventures that Amy & Matt could be part of making...in different houses, different cities, whatever. Their kids did not seem to have a problem moving off the property. Roloff Farm is not the Bridge to Terabithia or Hogwarts, FFS. It is not a magical world encased in a snowglobe. All their boo-hooing about the end of farm makes it sound as if they will turn to dust if everyone doesn't "Clap if you believe!!" to revive the magic. At the end of the day, it's just land and buildings. Amy and Matt can move on to other land with other buildings and still exist.

If I were the designer who staged LVP's kitchen, I would have slipped a picture of Kyle into one of those pink Le Creuset pots on my way out the door (after cashing Ken's check). Then she'd have to spend another $300k to erase the bad ju-ju from the place. I find LVP almost as exhausting as Mikey, the untalented talking leech Erica keeps on a leash. I like a white kitchen, but I'm not a fan of the entire look of LVP's remodel. Love the stove and some of the features, but on the whole, it is definitely giving off a "Dynasty" remake starring Elle Woods vibes.

I only made it up to the point Jason started speaking. Honey, listening to him do his shtick annoys me more than a wet rooster a-slid’n down the wrong side of a hot tin roof in the middle of tornado durin’ a hog callin’ contest. ( I have no idea WTF that means either...just following Col.Cornpone’s lead). I just cannot with him.